people less internet savvy than your grandmother

Putin Campaign Dismisses Angry Web Comments As a ‘Computer Game’

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i am looking like daniel craig

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin decided this week to put his bid for yet another “run” on the Internet, where he has been hanging out lately to try to charm his people following December’s huge and quite unified protests in the country. Pleasantly, his website, whose main photo (this one) looks like Putin’s attempt to pose for a Swiss watch ad, was flooded with so many angry comments that the Kremlin community cossack had to temporarily take down the site. And, of course, delete all the comments. But the thing is, says a Putin spokesperson, the people of Russia didn’t mean to be mean. They were just playing “a computer game.” What?

In a Reuters article on the site crash, Putin spokesperson Dmitry Peskov responded by denying that the comments had been removed to save face:

All this fuss with calls for resignation is a kind of computer game that children are playing at. It has nothing to do with constructive dialogue.

Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that “the children,” in Russian, is a more complex diminutive term meant to flatter and make the people feel safe. Also “computer game,” perhaps, fine, maybe a reference to hacking, which has been happening to Russian government sites lately.

Luckily, the comments were spared from digital Siberia: Radio Free Europe has gathered a few of the best:

Please leave politics. We understand that power is like a drug, but this would be a dignified act.

I’m tired of you. I’ve already tolerated you for 12 years and it’s still the same. If you win [another term] a lot of my friends are thinking about leaving Russia. Do you need this? Do we? I don’t. I want to live in a normal country. So get out before it[‘]s too late.

Shockingly, Putin still has a kind of staggering approval rating of 51 percent, as of December. Peskov has no doubt of Putin’s success in the first round of elections:

We are sure that he will be president. We have no doubts about it. Bad are the campaign headquarters staff who do not believe in their candidate’s victory in the first round.

And bad are the children! Stop it with your opinionated Pac-Man games. [Atlantic Wire]

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About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • AlterNewt

    I'm waiting for the Anna Chapman computer game.

  • elviouslyqueer

    We are sure that he will be president. We have no doubts about it. Bad are the campaign headquarters staff who do not believe in their candidate’s victory in the first round.

    Translation: Vee have vays of making you vote.

    • Negropolis

      Russia, Germany, meh. Same difference, right?

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Swiss watch ad? At first I thought it was a still photo from the next Daniel Craig flick. Putin is probably one of those egotastic lurches who'd deadpan the names of celebrities he'd like to have play him when his bio eventually makes it to celluloid. Titled something like "Tiger for Breakfast."

    • lizcolville

      yes, check the alt text. GREAT MINDS.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        check the alt text

        d'Oh!1!

    • Nostrildamus

      Elin Nordegren's already reserved that title.

    • emmelemm

      You (and Liz) are correct. He does be looking like the Daniel Craig. (Weird!)

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    They are good at Chess.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

  • SorosBot

    Wait, the Wonkette comments aren't a computer game?

    • Generation[redacted]

      I thought at 100p you get an extra life.

      • Loaded_Pants

        I know I'm aiming for a extra life.

      • http://sickrantorum.com KenLayIsAlive

        An extra life? Please, no. I honestly don't know what the fuck to do with this one.

    • Radiotherapy

      I think it's more like pin ball.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I have long assumed we are all just figments of some bad programing.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Wonkette doesn't allow comments.

      • not that Dewey

        do me a favor show this letter to the rest of your presumpteous, arrogant, monsters, have a laugh at this letter. Sarcastic, nymphs.

  • elviouslyqueer

    His website also apparently has a section devoted to "Shit I've Shot, Killed, and had Mounted in the Past 24 Hours." Shockingly, it doesn't include any protesters. Yet.

    • MissTaken

      He's mounting protestors? Actually, doesn't surprise me.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Sounds like OWS, from what I've heard.

    • Negropolis

      His wife is not among any of those things. That guy is so self-envolved that no one can statisfy him but his lonesome.

      The Beast with Two Backs remains his most elusive quarry.

  • Schmannnity

    He may be a dick and a dictator, but his approval rating is 50% higher than either Barry or Romney. Plus, he's the ultra conservative alternative to Romney

  • pinkocommi

    "It has nothing to do with constructive dialogue."

    Yes. How can you have constructive dialogue in Russia without Molotov cocktails, Kalishnikovs and armored tanks?

    • Guppy

      I think the "constructive dialog" he has in mind more involves a small, underground cell with a single chair and a light bulb hanging from the ceiling.

  • Schmannnity

    I tried playing Putin Pyramid on his site, but the graphics sucked.

  • nounverb911

    And you thought DHS watching us was dangerous.

    • Guppy

      Where do you think they're getting the ideas?

  • fuflans

    hey everybody! what's up?

    i've been watching popcorn cat since 9:30.

    • Guppy

      Next month, Putin will make daily viewing of Popcorn Cat mandatory!

  • Beowoof

    Lego totalitarian commies?

  • SorosBot

    This comment has been deleted by the Politburo

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      This commenter has been deleted by the Politburo.

  • Arken

    Putin doesn't have time for computer games while America is intentionally damaging Russian Mars probes!
    http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,21

    • Guppy

      Hey, if the alternative was facing down a firing squad for wasting the Soviet Russian people's money, wouldn't you blame the Foreigns, too?

  • nounverb911

    Needs more WOPR!

    Shall we play a game?

    • banana_bread

      Oh, took the words right out of my mouth!

  • WinterOuthouse

    I understand he's a hit with the ladies

  • BarackMyWorld

    In Soviet Russia, computer games play you!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      In Russia, blog comments make you!

  • Beetagger

    Try the hot tea. Tastes like Polonium.

  • cheetojeebus

    Out of an abundance of caution, I will forgo making a comment of any negative nature about this incredibly handsome, capable, selfless leader. You know, to avoid the whole glowing toxic radioactive tea and biscuits thing. gee, he's handsome. so handsome.

  • coolhandnuke

    Where's the Bond girl in the photo?

    • Negropolis

      Yes, where is the venerable Irish Bond girl Tigg O'Bitties?

  • hagajim

    Putin's fixing to start shootin' and the naysayers.

  • yyyaz

    In Moscow, the Wonkettezkiya reads you!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Putan would make a good Republican and by good I mean Newt-like asshole.

  • http://drpaul2012.wordpress.com Donner, Party of 1

    "Russian Prime Minister" sounds so much more technocratic than "Dear Leader" or "Dictator For Life".

    • Guppy

      What you do is go the Qadaffi route where you collect as many titles as you can think of. After all, why choose?

  • JackObin

    Putin is to Catherine the Great as George Bush is to Abraham Lincoln.

    • Indiepalin

      Or as Michele Bachmann is to Mr. Ed.

      • nounverb911

        Mr. Ed is so much smarter, he can speak in complete sentences.

        • KeepFnThatChicken

          Didn't Catherine the Great fuck Mr. Ed, though?

          • Negropolis

            Wrong country. I think you have that mixed up; it's Prince Charles who is fucking Mr. Ed.

    • Schmannnity

      Or Sarah Palin is to Margaret Chase Smith.

  • MissTaken

    The Russian Trail

    Instead of cholera, you die of polonium!

  • nounverb911

    "Putin still has a kind of staggering approval rating of 51 percent, as of December. "
    The other 49% are marching to the Gulags.

    • SorosBot

      Or poisoned.

  • Callyson

    Speaking of computer games…perhaps Putin is just being nostalgic for this old school film:
    WarGames (1983)
    114 min – Sci-Fi | Thriller – 3 June 1983 (USA)
    A young man finds a back door into a military central computer in which reality is confused with game-playing, possibly starting World War III.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Ah, that movie always brings back some of my earliest fapping memories.

  • Indiepalin

    Where did Putin finish in the New Hampshire primary?

    • Guppy

      He may be Orthodox, but at least he ain't Mormon!

  • Nostrildamus

    Rosa Klebb will kick internetz vith shoe.

  • iburl

    Here's a computergame Ostrich-legs:

    …………………./´¯/)
    ………………..,/¯../
    ………………./…./
    …………./´¯/’…’/´¯¯`·¸
    ………./’/…/…./……./¨¯
    ……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)
    ……………………..’…../
    ……….”…………. _.·´
    ……………………..(
    …………..………….…

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      It sorta looks like someone's left hand is giving me the finger. Which I understand ostriches have a method of doing, in their own unique way.

  • banana_bread

    That 51% approve because they can't look away from those eyes. He's like the Hypnotoad of Russia.

  • Callyson

    Please leave politics. We understand that power is like a drug, but this would be a dignified act.
    Can we pass that message along to Boneheader and Co?
    Who am I kidding, the closest that crowd gets to "dignified" is when they sit on the toilet…

  • Radiotherapy

    Hey Vlad, pssst, don't friend Janet Napolitano on Facebook or Twitter.

  • edgydrifter

    He can say anything he wants. He can do anything he wants. He could grapple reality itself and choke the bitch out like a mewling kitten. Putin is the guy Chuck Norris makes Chuck Norris jokes about. I'd stick to saying only nice things about him, is what I'm saying.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Pshaw! He is no Carlos Slim of Mexico!

    • iburl

      I guess I better stay away from the soup now.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hmmm — scrubbing negative comments from his webpage, ineptly trying to manipulate public opinion, attributing base motives to his constituents who disagree with him, and proposing band-aid reforms to a deeply flawed and corrupt system — maybe Sarah Palin was telling the truth when she said she conducted international relations.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    And all that kerfuffle on wall street this fall was really just a giant game of duck duck goose.

  • Baconzgood

    In Russia "Go fuck yourself= angry birds"

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      I'm glad to see you've calmed the fuck down.

      • Baconzgood

        I wanted to get ALL the B.L.s out of my system for ever and ever and ever and ev….

  • Extemporanus

    The only winning move is not to play.

  • Walkinwiddaking

    "In a Reuters article on the site crash, Putin spokesperson Dmitry Peskov responded by denying that the comments had been removed to save face:

    All this fuss with calls for resignation is a kind of computer game that children are playing at. It has nothing to do with constructive dialogue."

    Moose and squirrel use to play same game comrade.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    And to think, FOX News missed the change of dismissing OWS as just a series of games of kick the can.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Do you own a Baller Franchise, Putin?! All the big Russian Oligarchs have one. Maybe you and Fiddy can buy the Bobcats off of MJ.

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Shouldn't a Russian Oligarch buy a team called the Bears?

      Boom!

      … sorry Chet, too much time on the ESPN boards

  • Guppy

    He's got Georgia on his mind.

  • FatalServerErrorFace

    Now keel moose & skwirrel?

  • Not_So_Much

    My doctor has recommended a polonium-free diet, so I got nuthin' to say about good 'ole Pooty-poot.

  • OneYieldRegular

    If there's a Russian version of Wonkette, are you supposed to stop drinking when you read a new post?

    Also: Swiss watch ad? Putin looks like he just lost out on the gold to Brian Boitano.

  • mavenmaven

    And children who play computer game very good get free game called gulag

  • LiveToServeYa

    As to the 'charm offensive' strategy, he's mastered the second half. Nearly 51%!

  • user-of-owls

    And bad are the juju to anyone running against Vlad the Impaler. Yeah, I'm lookin' at you, Prokhorov. Stick to your less dangerous hopeless cause. New Jersey fans might hate you, might even throw plastic shit at you. But they probably won't put Polonium in your tea.

    Wait! What was I thinking?! Get back to Russia NOW!

    • Negropolis

      Jersey fans don't fuck around with soup. He better get back to Russia before he finds a cap in his ass whilst at the bottom of the Hudson.

  • snickersnack

    Alt text ftw

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Fearless Leader has been flying under the radar for a while!

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Just from reading this small amount of commentary, I see a business opportunity in Russia: SNARK. They need to get bitter and dress that drab shit up. And I'm not talking about those queer-lookin' Cyrillic letters.

  • ttommyunger

    Got to be in the closet. The only dude trying to butch himself up more is our own Little Ricky Perry.

  • http://sickrantorum.com KenLayIsAlive

    Glad to see Radio Free Europe still exists. How come when we talk about slashing funding for public radio, we don't talk about that station?

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    try this: we divorce you, we divorce you (works for some people)

  • Negropolis

    All that you need to know about this man is that Dubya thought he had a beautiful soul. Honestly, what more is there to say beyond that fact that this former KGB agent is a sociopath? The Republicans in Congress are always bitching about metaphorical czars; in Russia, they actually have and honest-to-goodness czar, again.

  • Negropolis

    Ender's Game libel!

    BTW, the comments seem unusually tame. Maybe, something was lost in translation? I was expecting more "we hate your fucking guts, Pootmen." Instead, we get well reasoned, and sometimes subtle criticisms.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    All this fuss with calls for resignation is a kind of computer game that children are playing at. It has nothing to do with constructive dialogue.

    Welcome to the Internet, doofuski.