Putin Campaign Dismisses Angry Web Comments As a ‘Computer Game’

by Liz Colville

i am looking like daniel craig

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin decided this week to put his bid for yet another “run” on the Internet, where he has been hanging out lately to try to charm his people following December’s huge and quite unified protests in the country. Pleasantly, his website, whose main photo (this one) looks like Putin’s attempt to pose for a Swiss watch ad, was flooded with so many angry comments that the Kremlin community cossack had to temporarily take down the site. And, of course, delete all the comments. But the thing is, says a Putin spokesperson, the people of Russia didn’t mean to be mean. They were just playing “a computer game.” What?

In a Reuters article on the site crash, Putin spokesperson Dmitry Peskov responded by denying that the comments had been removed to save face:

All this fuss with calls for resignation is a kind of computer game that children are playing at. It has nothing to do with constructive dialogue.

Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that “the children,” in Russian, is a more complex diminutive term meant to flatter and make the people feel safe. Also “computer game,” perhaps, fine, maybe a reference to hacking, which has been happening to Russian government sites lately.

Luckily, the comments were spared from digital Siberia: Radio Free Europe has gathered a few of the best:

Please leave politics. We understand that power is like a drug, but this would be a dignified act.

I’m tired of you. I’ve already tolerated you for 12 years and it’s still the same. If you win [another term] a lot of my friends are thinking about leaving Russia. Do you need this? Do we? I don’t. I want to live in a normal country. So get out before it[']s too late.

Shockingly, Putin still has a kind of staggering approval rating of 51 percent, as of December. Peskov has no doubt of Putin’s success in the first round of elections:

We are sure that he will be president. We have no doubts about it. Bad are the campaign headquarters staff who do not believe in their candidate’s victory in the first round.

And bad are the children! Stop it with your opinionated Pac-Man games. [Atlantic Wire]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 101 comments }

AlterNewt January 12, 2012 at 5:57 pm

I'm waiting for the Anna Chapman computer game.

AlterNewt January 12, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Beowoof January 12, 2012 at 6:02 pm

I think that is a DVD where you just wind up playing with yourself.

AlterNewt January 12, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I'm good with that.

elviouslyqueer January 12, 2012 at 5:57 pm

We are sure that he will be president. We have no doubts about it. Bad are the campaign headquarters staff who do not believe in their candidate’s victory in the first round.

Translation: Vee have vays of making you vote.

Negropolis January 13, 2012 at 12:21 am

Russia, Germany, meh. Same difference, right?

Mumbletypeg January 12, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Swiss watch ad? At first I thought it was a still photo from the next Daniel Craig flick. Putin is probably one of those egotastic lurches who'd deadpan the names of celebrities he'd like to have play him when his bio eventually makes it to celluloid. Titled something like "Tiger for Breakfast."

lizcolville January 12, 2012 at 6:02 pm

yes, check the alt text. GREAT MINDS.

Mumbletypeg January 12, 2012 at 6:25 pm

check the alt text

d'Oh!1!

Nostrildamus January 12, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Elin Nordegren's already reserved that title.

emmelemm January 12, 2012 at 7:25 pm

You (and Liz) are correct. He does be looking like the Daniel Craig. (Weird!)

DerrickWildcat January 12, 2012 at 5:58 pm

They are good at Chess.

Sharkey January 12, 2012 at 6:09 pm

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

SorosBot January 12, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Wait, the Wonkette comments aren't a computer game?

Generation[redacted] January 12, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I thought at 100p you get an extra life.

Loaded_Pants January 12, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I know I'm aiming for a extra life.

KenLayIsAlive January 12, 2012 at 10:59 pm

An extra life? Please, no. I honestly don't know what the fuck to do with this one.

Radiotherapy January 12, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I think it's more like pin ball.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 12, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I have long assumed we are all just figments of some bad programing.

ShaveTheWhales January 12, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Wonkette doesn't allow comments.

not that Dewey January 13, 2012 at 12:16 am

do me a favor show this letter to the rest of your presumpteous, arrogant, monsters, have a laugh at this letter. Sarcastic, nymphs.

elviouslyqueer January 12, 2012 at 5:59 pm

His website also apparently has a section devoted to "Shit I've Shot, Killed, and had Mounted in the Past 24 Hours." Shockingly, it doesn't include any protesters. Yet.

MissTaken January 12, 2012 at 6:03 pm

He's mounting protestors? Actually, doesn't surprise me.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 12, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Sounds like OWS, from what I've heard.

Negropolis January 13, 2012 at 12:23 am

His wife is not among any of those things. That guy is so self-envolved that no one can statisfy him but his lonesome.

The Beast with Two Backs remains his most elusive quarry.

Schmannnity January 12, 2012 at 6:00 pm

He may be a dick and a dictator, but his approval rating is 50% higher than either Barry or Romney. Plus, he's the ultra conservative alternative to Romney

pinkocommi January 12, 2012 at 6:00 pm

"It has nothing to do with constructive dialogue."

Yes. How can you have constructive dialogue in Russia without Molotov cocktails, Kalishnikovs and armored tanks?

Guppy January 12, 2012 at 6:31 pm

I think the "constructive dialog" he has in mind more involves a small, underground cell with a single chair and a light bulb hanging from the ceiling.

Schmannnity January 12, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I tried playing Putin Pyramid on his site, but the graphics sucked.

nounverb911 January 12, 2012 at 6:01 pm

And you thought DHS watching us was dangerous.

Guppy January 12, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Where do you think they're getting the ideas?

fuflans January 12, 2012 at 6:01 pm

hey everybody! what's up?

i've been watching popcorn cat since 9:30.

Guppy January 12, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Next month, Putin will make daily viewing of Popcorn Cat mandatory!

Beowoof January 12, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Lego totalitarian commies?

SorosBot January 12, 2012 at 6:01 pm

This comment has been deleted by the Politburo

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm

This commenter has been deleted by the Politburo.

Arken January 12, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Putin doesn't have time for computer games while America is intentionally damaging Russian Mars probes!
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,21

Guppy January 12, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Hey, if the alternative was facing down a firing squad for wasting the Soviet Russian people's money, wouldn't you blame the Foreigns, too?

nounverb911 January 12, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Needs more WOPR!

Shall we play a game?

banana_bread January 12, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Oh, took the words right out of my mouth!

WinterOuthouse January 12, 2012 at 6:03 pm

I understand he's a hit with the ladies

BarackMyWorld January 12, 2012 at 6:03 pm

In Soviet Russia, computer games play you!

BaldarTFlagass January 12, 2012 at 9:23 pm

In Russia, blog comments make you!

Beetagger January 12, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Try the hot tea. Tastes like Polonium.

cheetojeebus January 12, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Out of an abundance of caution, I will forgo making a comment of any negative nature about this incredibly handsome, capable, selfless leader. You know, to avoid the whole glowing toxic radioactive tea and biscuits thing. gee, he's handsome. so handsome.

coolhandnuke January 12, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Where's the Bond girl in the photo?

Negropolis January 13, 2012 at 12:31 am

Yes, where is the venerable Irish Bond girl Tigg O'Bitties?

hagajim January 12, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Putin's fixing to start shootin' and the naysayers.

yyyaz January 12, 2012 at 6:05 pm

In Moscow, the Wonkettezkiya reads you!

Monsieur_Grumpe January 12, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Putan would make a good Republican and by good I mean Newt-like asshole.

Donner, Party of 1 January 12, 2012 at 6:05 pm

"Russian Prime Minister" sounds so much more technocratic than "Dear Leader" or "Dictator For Life".

Guppy January 12, 2012 at 6:35 pm

What you do is go the Qadaffi route where you collect as many titles as you can think of. After all, why choose?

JackObin January 12, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Putin is to Catherine the Great as George Bush is to Abraham Lincoln.

Indiepalin January 12, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Or as Michele Bachmann is to Mr. Ed.

nounverb911 January 12, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Mr. Ed is so much smarter, he can speak in complete sentences.

KeepFnThatChicken January 12, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Didn't Catherine the Great fuck Mr. Ed, though?

Negropolis January 13, 2012 at 12:33 am

Wrong country. I think you have that mixed up; it's Prince Charles who is fucking Mr. Ed.

Schmannnity January 12, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Or Sarah Palin is to Margaret Chase Smith.

MissTaken January 12, 2012 at 6:06 pm

The Russian Trail

Instead of cholera, you die of polonium!

nounverb911 January 12, 2012 at 6:06 pm

"Putin still has a kind of staggering approval rating of 51 percent, as of December. "
The other 49% are marching to the Gulags.

SorosBot January 12, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Or poisoned.

Callyson January 12, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Speaking of computer games…perhaps Putin is just being nostalgic for this old school film:
WarGames (1983)
114 min – Sci-Fi | Thriller – 3 June 1983 (USA)
A young man finds a back door into a military central computer in which reality is confused with game-playing, possibly starting World War III.

Loaded_Pants January 12, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Ah, that movie always brings back some of my earliest fapping memories.

Indiepalin January 12, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Where did Putin finish in the New Hampshire primary?

Guppy January 12, 2012 at 6:37 pm

He may be Orthodox, but at least he ain't Mormon!

Nostrildamus January 12, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Rosa Klebb will kick internetz vith shoe.

iburl January 12, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Here's a computergame Ostrich-legs:

…………………./´¯/)
………………..,/¯../
………………./…./
…………./´¯/’…’/´¯¯`·¸
………./’/…/…./……./¨¯
……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)
……………………..’…../
……….”…………. _.·´
……………………..(
…………..………….…

Mumbletypeg January 12, 2012 at 6:28 pm

It sorta looks like someone's left hand is giving me the finger. Which I understand ostriches have a method of doing, in their own unique way.

banana_bread January 12, 2012 at 6:09 pm

That 51% approve because they can't look away from those eyes. He's like the Hypnotoad of Russia.

Callyson January 12, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Please leave politics. We understand that power is like a drug, but this would be a dignified act.
Can we pass that message along to Boneheader and Co?
Who am I kidding, the closest that crowd gets to "dignified" is when they sit on the toilet…

Radiotherapy January 12, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Hey Vlad, pssst, don't friend Janet Napolitano on Facebook or Twitter.

edgydrifter January 12, 2012 at 6:18 pm

He can say anything he wants. He can do anything he wants. He could grapple reality itself and choke the bitch out like a mewling kitten. Putin is the guy Chuck Norris makes Chuck Norris jokes about. I'd stick to saying only nice things about him, is what I'm saying.

Chet Kincaid January 12, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Pshaw! He is no Carlos Slim of Mexico!

iburl January 12, 2012 at 9:42 pm

I guess I better stay away from the soup now.

SayItWithWookies January 12, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Hmmm — scrubbing negative comments from his webpage, ineptly trying to manipulate public opinion, attributing base motives to his constituents who disagree with him, and proposing band-aid reforms to a deeply flawed and corrupt system — maybe Sarah Palin was telling the truth when she said she conducted international relations.

BigDumbRedDog January 12, 2012 at 6:23 pm

And all that kerfuffle on wall street this fall was really just a giant game of duck duck goose.

Baconzgood January 12, 2012 at 6:23 pm

In Russia "Go fuck yourself= angry birds"

Chet Kincaid January 12, 2012 at 6:32 pm

I'm glad to see you've calmed the fuck down.

Baconzgood January 12, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I wanted to get ALL the B.L.s out of my system for ever and ever and ever and ev….

Extemporanus January 12, 2012 at 6:25 pm

The only winning move is not to play.

Walkinwiddaking January 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm

"In a Reuters article on the site crash, Putin spokesperson Dmitry Peskov responded by denying that the comments had been removed to save face:

All this fuss with calls for resignation is a kind of computer game that children are playing at. It has nothing to do with constructive dialogue."

Moose and squirrel use to play same game comrade.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 12, 2012 at 6:34 pm

And to think, FOX News missed the change of dismissing OWS as just a series of games of kick the can.

Chet Kincaid January 12, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Do you own a Baller Franchise, Putin?! All the big Russian Oligarchs have one. Maybe you and Fiddy can buy the Bobcats off of MJ.

SudsMcKenzie January 12, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Shouldn't a Russian Oligarch buy a team called the Bears?

Boom!

… sorry Chet, too much time on the ESPN boards

Guppy January 12, 2012 at 6:41 pm

He's got Georgia on his mind.

FatalServerErrorFace January 12, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Now keel moose & skwirrel?

Not_So_Much January 12, 2012 at 6:57 pm

My doctor has recommended a polonium-free diet, so I got nuthin' to say about good 'ole Pooty-poot.

OneYieldRegular January 12, 2012 at 7:02 pm

If there's a Russian version of Wonkette, are you supposed to stop drinking when you read a new post?

Also: Swiss watch ad? Putin looks like he just lost out on the gold to Brian Boitano.

mavenmaven January 12, 2012 at 7:06 pm

And children who play computer game very good get free game called gulag

LiveToServeYa January 12, 2012 at 7:39 pm

As to the 'charm offensive' strategy, he's mastered the second half. Nearly 51%!

user-of-owls January 12, 2012 at 8:49 pm

And bad are the juju to anyone running against Vlad the Impaler. Yeah, I'm lookin' at you, Prokhorov. Stick to your less dangerous hopeless cause. New Jersey fans might hate you, might even throw plastic shit at you. But they probably won't put Polonium in your tea.

Wait! What was I thinking?! Get back to Russia NOW!

Negropolis January 13, 2012 at 12:38 am

Jersey fans don't fuck around with soup. He better get back to Russia before he finds a cap in his ass whilst at the bottom of the Hudson.

snickersnack January 12, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Alt text ftw

BaldarTFlagass January 12, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Fearless Leader has been flying under the radar for a while!

KeepFnThatChicken January 12, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Just from reading this small amount of commentary, I see a business opportunity in Russia: SNARK. They need to get bitter and dress that drab shit up. And I'm not talking about those queer-lookin' Cyrillic letters.

ttommyunger January 12, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Got to be in the closet. The only dude trying to butch himself up more is our own Little Ricky Perry.

KenLayIsAlive January 12, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Glad to see Radio Free Europe still exists. How come when we talk about slashing funding for public radio, we don't talk about that station?

BZ1 January 12, 2012 at 11:28 pm

try this: we divorce you, we divorce you (works for some people)

Negropolis January 13, 2012 at 12:19 am

All that you need to know about this man is that Dubya thought he had a beautiful soul. Honestly, what more is there to say beyond that fact that this former KGB agent is a sociopath? The Republicans in Congress are always bitching about metaphorical czars; in Russia, they actually have and honest-to-goodness czar, again.

Negropolis January 13, 2012 at 12:22 am

Ender's Game libel!

BTW, the comments seem unusually tame. Maybe, something was lost in translation? I was expecting more "we hate your fucking guts, Pootmen." Instead, we get well reasoned, and sometimes subtle criticisms.

imissopus January 13, 2012 at 12:48 am

All this fuss with calls for resignation is a kind of computer game that children are playing at. It has nothing to do with constructive dialogue.

Welcome to the Internet, doofuski.

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