SHAME on your Wonkette for forgetting to follow up on the final results for the 9th thru 87th place finishers in the New Hampshire GOP primary! Well anyway, here is the “important” part: the (openly) gay dude beat Michele Bachmann! She quit the race several days before the primary of course, but that is SO not going to spoil Fred Karger’s party.
From the Advocate:
“Congresswoman Bachmann was in 12 national debates, raised $10 to $12 million, received massive news coverage, has huge name ID and we beat her in New Hampshire,” Karger cheered in a statement. “Early last month I said that I wanted to beat Santorum or Bachmann in New Hampshire. It’s a big win for me.”
A fair enough point. A search of the Wonkette archives turns up several million weepy posts about Michele Bachmann’s lunacy, and a whole one about Karger, whose actual official campaign slogan is “Fred Who?”
Well now we have the answer: “Gay man Fred Karger, who is better loved by New Hampshire Republicans than famous homophobe beard Michele Bachmann,” is who. DON’T PICK UP THE PHONE, Fred Karger, if Marcus Bachmann calls to offer a special concession kiss. [Twitter/ Advocate]
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Fred Karger 2012: Money well spent.
Hehe…."spent".
Where's my fleece jacket, Michele???
If you ordered one, you're being fleeced.
You'll have to settle for a Santorum vest now.
My goal is to beat Michele Bachmann, too
GAH! Your snark finger is quicker and itchier.
With a 2×4, presumably?
D'oh! I was gonna say that.
I would watch that.
You have to bring the llama, though.
Think of the money we could make off of the DVD sales alone.
People don't buy DVDs anymore. We went back to laserdiscs.
With a coat hanger.
The Lizard People remain unbowed. Mostly because their spines don't bend that way.
We find that term offensive. We prefer to be called Latter Day Saints.
Baby steps. Baby steps.
Well, we all have to cling to our dreams.
Better than clinging to guns or religion.
Or Santorum.
It was my impression that Santorum is too slick to really cling to.
Santorum is very bitter.
And it DOES NOT taste like peanut butter.
I don't wanna know how you know this.
So, GAY Republicans are stupid as well?
Being members of a party that absolutely loathes them for who they are, I would say yes.
gay republicans are the stupidest of all the republicans.
Oh you should just see the little snits GOProud gets itself into. They're like stereotypes of catty, mean & bitter queens.
They make the Log Cabin Republicans look sane & well-adjusted.
Gay Republicans are the stupidest of all gay people.
I recall that, around the time W was "elected", there was a gay conservative group that popped up that got an endorsement from Barry Goldwater. I can't remember the name of it but I know that it didn't last very long. GOProud's just the current version of such groups. They don't seem to take the hint that because the party is dominated by moralizing bullies, they aren't welcome under the alleged "big tent".
that too, but being the stupidest republican is more of an insult. i mean, there are a LOT of stupid republicans.
New Hampshire, New Pap Smear–I just want to beat Michele Bachmann.
I said that I wanted to beat Santorum or Bachmann in New Hampshire. It’s a big win for me.
That's kind of like saying, "Our goal was to summarily defeat either the Roman Empire or the Republic of Djibouti. I'm glad to say we can call today a victory."
Sounds just like Reagan and Grenada.
Miserable bloody Romans. No sense of humour.
I hope he means that in an idealistic sense and not like, you know, it actually has meaning.
Still, she can beat a gay man at home.
Yes, that's that's the game where Shelly puts on the Cat Woman costume, and Marcus wears pumps, garters, and a feather boa.
J. Edgar vs. Catwoman, a Bachmann family favorite.
Is a 2 x 4 involved? Please say it is.
It's not the first time Michele Bachmann had a gay man on top of her.
But I'm sure Fred is the first to actually enjoy it.
Marcus has to close his eyes and think about buff football players in the locker room after the game, horsing around with each other…
And here I thought Marcus and I had nothing in common.
You don't do it while having to fuck crazy-eyed Michele though, so you come out on top.
You've tried to "cure" gay teenage boys as well?
think about buff football players
Tebow?
Marcus' man-lust for Tebow matches that of CBS's announcers.
Not Buff football players.
Kick her while she's down!
You know she'd do the same to you.
On the other hand, Fred, one might say you barely beat a person who was both unambiguously insane and not actually running anymore. And who, as you point out, may have ten or twelve million dollars sitting in the bank–enough to keep Marcus in plus-sized fishnet stockings basically forever. GG, Fred. You the man!
Too many want to beat off to Bachmann
Ooh no please.
Crazy in the eyes, cricket sounds between the thighs.
Were the crickets caught in the spider webs?
Michele's a bottom. Who knew?
The problem is, Michele likes being beating by a gay man.
I believe this is what's known as a "queerrhic victory".
Nicely done!
Queer hick victory?
Rick Perry libel!
Burn!
Yea.
This reminds me of that time that my softball team actually won a game because the other team forgot to show up. That was an awesome day.
It was the news coverage that fucked her. You might be THAT bat shit insane in your little corner of Jessie "The Body" country, but when the nation hears Minn. on the news, all the MST3K fans stand up and listen. Bachmann you are funny BUT NOT A CROW T. ROBOT FUNNY!!!!
Haikeeba!
God, I loved that show.
I think Kevin Murphy's "A Year at the Movies: One Man's Filmgoing Odyssey" is one of the best books about movies. I wish he'd do a follow-up. Mike Nelson's books aren't too shabby, either.
Marcus wants to know if it was a come from behind victory.
Grindin at da club!
More like a come in behind story.
Marcus loves this position because he doesn't have to look at her face. Instead, he can just look at her broad shoulders & think of a 19-yr-old twink that he's "curing".
Especially if it involved some santorum.
Not having a whiff of an idea what a Fred Karger looks like, I would hope he is the doppleganger to Dan Ackroyd's SNL character Fred Gavin male prostitute.
“Now, it's off to Michigan for its primary next month," Karger said. "I will be competing in Michigan primary no matter what.”
South Carolina and Florida, on the other hand, can forget it unless they pony up $10-12M…
Please. Michigan is moved to a date that may make it far less consequential, but Karger couldn't compete here even then. This is a state with a single metropolitan area as populous as the entire state of South Carolina. Good luck getting on television in that media market, and that's not even to mention West Michigan, another region with a population over a million.
Vermin Supreme: 3 votes!!!
"fringe candidate Vermin Supreme"
In a story about Ron Paul's campaign, no less. Was the writer even paying attention?
"the (openly) gay dude beat Michele Bachmann"
in Marcus' heart.
It's like saying you beat a dead guy in a foot race. IIRC Mish's campaign was pronounced dead in Iowa.
Hey look at this way Fred, you're still better than John Ashcroft.
Marcus Bachmann, responding to the news of his wife getting beat by an openly gay man, said, "Oh, that naughty boy."
A Barbarian!
Who are these 347 dolts who voted for her?
Confused Sarah Palin fans?
283 R's wrote in Obama. That's some interesting news.
S'more cheer.
Not to take any of the glory away from Fred Karger's victory over Che1y, but shouldn't we all be celebrating our own Barry Obama's 283-161 vote victory over Herb Cain in the Rethuglican primary?
That's because our blacks are better than their blacks.
Yay for the Gay Guy Freddie Krueger! Oh wait, that's someone else, isn't it. Well — YAY for him anyway, whoever he is!
Does Fred run a prison ministry? Sounds like he's hit his head against the bars one too many times.
OMG, Fred! You beat someone that wasn't even running, anymore! You get a gold star!
Buddy Roehmer? Andy Martin? Steven Colbert?
Unless he pronounces it "Karjay", he sure doesn't seem gay to me.
I would imagine that a lot of people dream about beating Michele Bachmann. With a big stick.
Yes, I do come on top
OK now your trying to turn us on again; this makes up for that Margaret Thatcher thing.
I only know one gay Republican — interior designer, Southern Baptist, hostile when drunk — and generalizing from his example, I think it's the same phenomenon as black or (non-Cuban) Latino Republicans. They want to assimilate. They want to be respected by the yacht club/country club popular kids.
"– interior designer, Southern Baptist, hostile when drunk –"
That's beautiful.
The only major gay Republican I met lived in the Windsor Farms community here. He was neighbors with the Hager family that Jenna Bush would marry into. He and his partner had residences in Richmond & NYC. Ironically, he was also one of Madonna's hairstylists. He has tons of money & is a mean drunk, too. So…no surprises there.
Wait, gay and still considers himself a Southern Baptist? That's even worse than being a non-religious gay Republican. There are few things Southern Baptists hate more than gays.
There are few things Southern Baptists hate more than gays
Black lesbians?
Black lesbian Muslins, my friend.
Damn it. You win this round.
I used to think that a black Muslin lesbian in a wheelchair couldn't be topped … then I realized the concept was only humorous if she was a Republican.
Ahem…Black lesbain SOCIALIST Muslin in a wheelchair…
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