Sarah Palin to Mitt Romney: And But Like So, What 100,000 Jobs?

  math time

HAY

Sarah Palin, world’s greatest unwitting composer of spam correspondence, has joined delightfully unexpected team of avengers Gingrich, Perry, Paul, Santorum and Huntsman LLC in attacking Romney’s Bain Capital tenure, specifically his claim that he created 100,000 jobs while papering his 100,000-square-foot house with 100,000 benjamins. Never mind that in the past one-eighth-eon that constitutes a modern political day, some members of the anti-Romney force, most of all Rick Perry, have gone into temporary Bain-bashing retirement.

(For a recap of what Team Non-Romney accomplished Wednesday — it was really quite beautiful — just watch this little clip.)

Irrelevant Sarah jumped in just a little late, saying on Fox News that Romney needs to actually “prove” to America that he created those 100,000 jobs. WARNING: many pronouns to follow.

This isn’t about a politician making huge profits in the private sector, [I] think what Governor Perry is getting at is that Governor Romney claimed to have created 100,000 jobs at Bain and you know, people are wanting to know: Is there proof of that claim? And was it U.S. jobs created for United States [c]itizens? You know, the 100,000 jobs, and I believe that that’s what Governor Perry is getting at is, you know, own up to the claims that are being made I had and that’s fair. That’s not negative campaigning, that’s fair to get a candidate to be held accountable to what’s being claimed, especially when it comes to job creation because so many of us are so concerned about what’s going on on Main Street, as well as Wall Street.”

At it but and so you know is that it is but who what where why how and then me and you and money and yes well. But the woman has a point.

Unfortunately, Romney, campaigning in South Carolina Thursday, came to the defense of himself re: Bain, saying the following:

There are a number of businesses that we helped start, which collectively, you can just look on their Web sites, added well over 100,000 jobs. And then the press has also reported on businesses that lost employment and that was a few thousand jobs that were lost. In each case where there was job loss, there was an effort on the part of the management team to try and preserve the business and to have a brighter future. The net of the two is pretty clearly well over 100,000 jobs, and the reality is in the private sector, that there are some businesses that are growing and thriving, and we were fortunate enough to be able to be part of that in a small way, and there’s some businesses that have to be cut back in order to survive and try to make them stronger. And sometimes you’re successful at that and sometimes you’re not.

Able to be a part of that in a small[*] way. Also, how exactly does “just looking on” the websites of the companies show America how many jobs Bain created for them?

If the Mittvengers would just keep on keeping on, it may possibly hopefully wishfully be only a matter of time before Mitt Romney self-destructs in one spectacular vomit of words just like his father did. [Fox News via RealClearPolitics]

*”Bain produced about $2.5 billion in gains for its investors in the 77 deals, on about $1.1 billion invested. Overall, Bain recorded roughly 50% to 80% annual gains in this period, which experts said was among the best track records for buyout firms in that era.”

Share This
 
Related video

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

210 comments

        1. Baconzgood

          I want you to feel special Barb so don't look at anyother comments between the first and mine. You're the only BLOOD LIBEL! that means anything to me. The others mean nothing.

    1. hagajim

      Exactly, who is this twit and why does she keep showing up on the Wonkette? Does Ken have a crush on her or something?

  1. DrunkIrishman

    It's great Sarah Palin, the Anna Nicole Smith of politics, continues to grace us with her presence.

  2. Barb

    And in other Palin news….Bristol's show was shit canned by Disney before it even aired. She moved back to Alaska, claiming "I am tired of Hollywood" She thinks Maricopa, AZ is Hollywood.

  3. comrad_darkness

    >that’s fair to get a candidate to be held accountable to what’s being claimed

    Suddenly, fact gathering isn't gotcha journalism? Shortest memory ever.

    1. PalinzADummy

      Haven't you heard? They're practising "the politics of Envy." I don't know if Sarah's catching the tail-current of this from stupid or sheer incompetence, but the big money puppetmasters of the GOP have had to yank on the leashes hard. They don't like their doings being examined too closely. It's important to discredit those who would attack the greedy capitalism of Bain.

        1. PalinzADummy

          Oh, sure, *now* it's all "whoops."

          Besides, you ought to know that Republicans would seriously adore to have their nether bits admirated upon at close range and handled, examined, etc.

    1. WhatTheHeck

      Fox is just trying to keep her relevant to swoop in as someone's running mate so she can debate Biden once more.

  4. elviouslyqueer

    In each case where there was job loss, there was an effort on the part of the management team to try and preserve the business and to have a brighter future.

    Oh man. This isn't just "Pants on Fire" bullshit. This is full-on, burn the motherfucker down mendacity.

    1. Callyson

      In each case where there was job loss, there was an effort on the part of the management team to try and preserve their sorry asses and to cash in while the money's good.
      /fixed

  5. Nesnora

    I if that woman has shit that for brains… but point that being then mostly me not being fired = a new job created??

  6. mavenmaven

    While all of Romney's talk about envy awakens my inner Freudian, Palin jumping into the fray definitely brings me to fears of castration.

    1. Rotundo_

      When you have *really* pissed off your supervisor, you are placed in the cube of doom and monitor $arah, Glenn Beck and El Rushbo for a week. If you make it through without quitting they let you move up to the suspicious folks again. Screw up twice and your placed there until retirement.

  7. Baconzgood

    -"people are wanting to know"-
    -"And was it U.S. jobs created for United States [c]itizens?"-
    -"You know, the 100,000 jobs, and I believe that that’s what Governor Perry is getting at is, you know, own up to the claims that are being made I had and that’s fair."-
    -"that’s fair to get a candidate to be held accountable to what’s being claimed,"-

    So that's what it would sound like if the part of my brain in charge of speech was replaced by a piece of cheese cake.

    1. BornInATrailer

      Cheesecake is far too pleasant. More like the parasite she got from that undercooked moose taco just took a shit in her speech center.

  8. SorosBot

    Remember, according to the NY Times it's "truth vigilantism" and they don't think it's their job.

  9. edgydrifter

    I've given money to Comcast, Chase, Home Depot, and literally hundreds of other companies over the past decade. As a positive contributor to top-line revenue, I can legitimately claim responsibility for any and all jobs created at any these companies, ever. I can haz nomination now?

    PS: Any job losses at these firms were entirely caused by taxes, burdensome regulation and government policy-related "uncertainty" dragging down the general economy. Not my fault.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      SB: And paying her to do it – although somehow on the FOXPAC it is never mentioned when employees of the network "interview" employees of the network.

          1. SorosBot

            Aaaaah! Margaret Thatcher and sex are two things that should not go together. Is the Daily Beast trying to destroy our minds?

          2. MissTaken

            Yes.

            “The sensation was one of hardening of the organs,” he chuckled in the retelling. “She is sexy and very interested in sex"

            Enjoy your now lack of erection!

          3. user-of-owls

            "The sensation was one of moistening of the organs,” Limbaugh's wife chuckled in the retelling. “He is sexy and very interested in sex"

            See? How do you like it?!

  10. OneYieldRegular

    You can make fun of the way Sarah Palin speaks, but the truth is that we have a lot of people right here in San Francisco who speak just like her. Of course, they're usually wandering around Civic Center at 4 in the morning, a crack pipe in one hand and a soiled blanket in the other.

  11. ManchuCandidate

    Sarah Palin's joined the Really Dumb Gopers Socialist Singers…

    If I had a billion dollar hedge fund (If I had a billion dollar hedge fund)
    I'd buy your employer (then I would shut it down)
    If I had a billion dollar hedge fund (If I had a billion dollar hedge fund)
    I'd get you a job ( but not a nice paying one cause that's rude)
    If I had a billion dollar hedge fund (If I had a billion dollar hedge fund)
    I'd make rich guys even more cash ( a nice bigass pile of cash)
    If I had a billion dollar hedge fund, I'd run for prez…

    1. Mrspanky

      "I'm lying in bed; thinking what Sarah Palin said.
      I'm lying in bed; thinking what SARAH PALIN SAID…….
      YEAH!!!"

      God, I wish Sarah and Casey Anthony would become lesbian lovers and run off to a remote island in the Aleutians to star in the next season of "Deadliest Catch"!

  12. DerrickWildcat

    What about the Olympics? There must have been 100,000 jobs created for that thing. All the people that came to Utah to ski around on those boards. Oh and there were people that had to make those snow hills for them to jump off. Look at all the Hockey Players there were. Must have been a thousand of them. I bet it took a lot of people to make those Bobsled tracks. Think of the cooks they had to have to cook for them! Probably another 1,000 right there.

  13. Crank_Tango

    I couldn't get past the first three or four words, croutons, and chickpeas…do I actually agree with her on this one, or not?

  14. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Sarah is just holding to her principals. You shouldn't make money by shit-canning the poor, moving jobs to Asia, and selling off the assets of the company. The ethical way to make money is to grift the poor.

    Everyone knows that.

  15. Wilcoxyz

    If only a job had birf certificate so we would know who created it. Of course, this would put some jobortions on Mitt's record as well.

  16. jus_wonderin

    It really is good to hear from her. I haven't had my recommended daily requirements of garbledyphrufff and pethernashma in quite sometime. Hell, a snippet of liquilsquaffel is good for the soul.

  17. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Romney is very upset about all of these attacks. After all, his millionaire friends have feelings too, and not a single one of them lost their job due to Bain Capital.

    1. SorosBot

      And some of his millionaire friends are unemployed, just like him! They know the pain of not working and having to rely on nothing but millions invested in the stock market.

      1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        It is hard growing up with wealth, and then having to live with all that wealth your entire life. At times, I think the rich must envy the poor, who will never know the complications of living off of a trust fund.

      1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        If you prick a corporation, does it not bleed?
        If you tickle a corporation, does it not laugh? If you poison a corporation,
        does it not die? And if you wrong a corporation, shall it not revenge?

  18. SayItWithWookies

    Sarah Palin's cerebral machinations remind one of a bumblebee in a hatbox thrown down a flight of stairs. And if she can figure out that Mitt's full of shit, then South Carolinians might be catching on too.

  19. BigDumbRedDog

    This from the woman that shit her pants and yelled "GOTCHA QUESTION" when someone asked her what she had for breakfast in 2008.

  20. Baconzgood

    CHHHHHHRIST! It's like listening to a 12 year old talk about Justin-Cyrus-Moore-Mandy-Bieber.

    "Like (some words) you know and (some words) like you know (some words) and you know like (some words then baconz bashes you in the head with a hammer).

    1. Rotundo_

      Only she doesn't have the excuse of having raging hormones coursing through their veins causing this sort of delusional mambling behavior. She's just naturally stupid, from Alaska!

      1. NorthStarSpanx

        Early in the interview Palin is asked about Michele Bachmann, Jon Huntsman, and others in the race dropping out, Palin responds that those "on the very, very bottom of the tier based on polls and based on heading into these caucuses, and primaries in individual states doesn't look like they have a chance, well then, just being a practical person as I am, I would say that for their own good that they would look at stepping aside and having their supporters start coalescing around another conservative in order to oust the incumbent."

        I ask again and again, who the fuck talks this way?! And who gets paid a million dollars a year to talk this way?!

  21. Chet Kincaid

    Interesting. Romney-Pere sussed that he had been lied to about Viet Nam, and also was rather pro-Colored, disagreeing with the MorMen about our "inferiority" and actually supporting MLK, according to Wikipedia. But that was back when the Republican Party actually accepted a range of views.

  22. DerrickWildcat

    I think they are trying to trick us. So when it's Obama vs. Romney. Obama can't bring up the Bain Capital thing because everybody will all be like, "BORING! We've already heard about that junk for the last 6 months! We are tired of that. Find something new."

  23. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know, I spent most of the Fall with FOX News telling me that the OWS movement was irrelevant and would hurt the Democratic party.

    This apparently is only partially true, as apparently OWS has become the philosophical center of half of the Republican Party now. The question is, can Obama get to the left of Gingrich and Palin?

  24. bitchincamaro2

    If you exclude the Huntsman family fortune, Romney's well-heeled Republican detractors look like relative pikers compared to his mega-bucks. Though none of them would qualify as 99%-ers, they may fit Mittens' "envious" profiling of the "other" America. Irony alert!!

    edit: hats off to smokefillednewyear who said it more directly

  25. Chichikovovich

    In each case where there was job loss, there was an effort on the part of the management team to try and preserve the business and to have a brighter future

    "And after we screwed that up, in a way that anyone with a lick of sense could have predicted, by things like putting marketing and corporate people who knew nothing about making steel in charge of production at steel mills we, and our shareholders, still made out like bandits when we broke up the company because of that gorgeous, alluring pension fund. Oh, I can't tell you what those days were like – the fund had this smile that just grabs you and pulls you in, so irresistible, [wistfully] it would shake it's assets at me and wink…(pause) You know people, everyone has their own taste in these matters, but for me I love a pension fund to have a little meat on it – more cushion for the pushin' the fund would say, and giggle. It was really huge, just bulging all over [emphasises with hands] 'You're too much for just one man to handle', I'd say when I took her to see the company accountant. You know, I was forty at the time, but that's young in Mormon years, and I don't think I've ever felt as alive as I did running my fingers gently across those account books and then….

    Excuse me, what was I saying?"

    1. Ducksworthy

      Reminds me of the bright young MBA's Bush sent to straighten our Iraq's finances. Also, the Wall Street Geniuses who brought us the Great Recession. But thank Gawd they all go their bonuses.

  26. BaldarTFlagass

    *”Bain produced about $2.5 billion in gains for its investors in the 77 deals, on about $1.1 billion invested. Overall, Bain recorded roughly 50% to 80% annual gains in this period, which experts said was among the best track records for buyout firms in that era.”

    So, he created jobs for maids, pool boys, yard boys, chauffeurs, and other service positions for rich people.

  27. SayItWithWookies

    What's funny is that the Mitt endorser still says (as of yesterday) that picking Sarah Palin for his running mate was the best decision he'd ever made. Then again, this was from a man who once decided to call his wife a makeup-slathered whore in front of the press.

    1. BarackMyWorld

      McCain's life has been a never-ending pattern of accomplishing something, then almost immediately fucking it up. Maverick!

  28. Indiepalin

    Liberal Hollywood knows no shame. Suddenly, it's no coincidence that the villain in this summer's blockbuster, "The Dark Knight Rises", is named Bane.

  29. Negligently_Joe

    I love how Mittens "100,000 jobs" bullshit is so facile and cynically dependent on the innumeracy of moron-Americans that even famous illterate Sarah Palin realizes there's something fishy about it.

  30. fuflans

    well this is timely. npr is telling me paul revere's bell is back at the old south meeting house in boston.

    but looking at that bell, looks like he would have had a hell of time ringin it.

  31. widestanceshakedown

    How does she do it? Just a few weeks ago, she was channeling Edith Prickley, and now she's gone full-on Endora. Can't wait for the bottle-blonde hooker look.

  32. Callyson

    "There are a number of businesses that we helped start, which collectively, you can just look on their Web sites, added well over 100,000 jobs."
    Does *no one* remember the phrase "Post hoc, ergo propter hoc"…?
    …Apparently not, since spell check is redlining three of the for words there. I weep for the future…

    1. Generation[redacted]

      I believe the phrase is:

      Post like hoc, you know, ergo as well propter like you know hoc as well. Also.

    2. James Michael Curley

      Yea, we learned that in Law School. It means; "It's the end of the year, my billable rate goes up."

    3. James Michael Curley

      Yea, we learned that in Law School. It means; "It's the end of the year, my billable rate went up last June"

  33. ElPinche

    Uh…pardon me, but can someone help me out of this giant Palin word salad. I'm trapped underneath two tons of rambling thoughts in the first turd block of text.

  34. bflrtsplk

    His computer crashed and won't type anything else. Baconzgood just Blood Libeled my last comment as well.

  35. BarackMyWorld

    "There are a number of businesses that we helped start, which collectively…added well over 100,000 jobs."

    This is like Pete Best taking credit for the White Album.

  36. WinterOuthouse

    Shouldn't a person have an elementary level grasp on the English Language before speaking on teevee?

  37. UnholyMoses

    As a professional writer, I have found that reading/hearing Caribou Barbie (TM, tbogg) creates a nearly-impossible-to-contain urge to grab a red pen … and stab her with it.

    Okay, not really (Ohai, TSA!). But I would like her to go back to Alaska to her igloo or trailer or whatever the hell it is those people sleep in.*

    (* Poor grammar due to Fuzzy Zeller reference.)

  38. DemonicRage

    The best job she ever created was the commission bonus paid to the sales clerk at Saks who helped Todd pick out his $25 a pair silk boxers, when The Republican National Committe was picking up the tab. I wonder how she reacted when he wore them as pajamas.

  39. real_dc_native

    "There are a number of businesses that we helped start, which collectively, you can just look on their Web sites, added well over 100,000 jobs."

    WELL, if it's on their websites it MUST be true! You bunch of envious poors.

  40. PsycWench

    I am channeling Count von Count from Sesame Street "That's seven SEVEN times baconzgood said Blood Libel. Ha Ha Ha! " *followed by thunderbolt, bats appearing out of nowhere.

  41. pinkocommi

    "that’s fair to get a candidate to be held accountable to what’s being claimed"

    What I wouldn't give to hear Faux Commentator Palin applying this theory to Candidate Palin. Faux commentator Palin could start with Candidate Palin's claim to have foreign policy experience because she can see Russia from her house. It would be a mobius strip of run-on sentences inanity.

  42. voodooeconomics

    You know I thought I knew this woman. I like her with the hair tousled so.Forget Mitt. She is doable.

  43. James Michael Curley

    100,000 Benjamins? That's only $10,000,000. Ann finds that lumped up in the lint trap when she washes his Haband Fit-Forever™ Slaxs.

  44. owhatever

    It's not a great day in South Carolina! Mitt Romney came by the house and grandpa peppered him with birdshot. Miss Santorum tried to out-Bible us, but didn't get past Genesis. Rick Perry said he was an American, altho we know he's from Texas. Gingrich stuffed his craw with donuts and Huntsman said he was American, but talked in Chinee. Ron Paul is the only answer. Actually, Jerry Springer would win the state, but he ain't in the race.

  45. C_R_Eature

    Oh, great. Mrs Malaprop is in the news again.

    Every time I have to see this nonsense spewing animal on the news or try to make sense of statements that look for all the world like the results of a machine stuck right in the middle of spectacularly failing a Turing test, thousands of neurons in my brain begin to die.

    My mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it.

    David Bowman is floating in my brain right now, pulling out the crystalline holographic memory blocks one by one. I'm Afraid.

  46. real_dc_native

    Actually the issue isn't about how many jobs Mitt created or eliminated. The issue is that he made a lot of money for himself and his clients by shuffling money around. They all took huge profits while producing nothing tangible. Taking capital out of the economy and not using it to produce goods does kill jobs and makes most of us poorer. (except Mitt and his clients).

    That's why it's called vulture capitalism or more accurately vampire capitalism.

  47. ttommyunger

    Gabby Johnson, foremost expert on Authentic Frontier Gibberish (of Blazing Saddles Fame) will translate Sarah's blather for those interested.

  48. Negropolis

    Only tangentially related to the subject, but I hadn't seen the name "Benjamin" in print in so long, that when I read it, I actually placed the stress on the second syllable. I was like "What the hell are ben-JAH-mins?" lol I thought it was something from India.

  49. Negropolis

    Baconzgood, what the fuck was wrong with you earlier? BTW, don't ever do that again, okay? Thanks.

  50. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You are not paying attention. The poor have plenty of money, they just spend it all on food and booze and big screen TVs. How much better would they be if they sent it to Palin instead of spending it on food or TVs?

Comments are closed.