math time

Sarah Palin to Mitt Romney: And But Like So, What 100,000 Jobs?

HAY

Sarah Palin, world’s greatest unwitting composer of spam correspondence, has joined delightfully unexpected team of avengers Gingrich, Perry, Paul, Santorum and Huntsman LLC in attacking Romney’s Bain Capital tenure, specifically his claim that he created 100,000 jobs while papering his 100,000-square-foot house with 100,000 benjamins. Never mind that in the past one-eighth-eon that constitutes a modern political day, some members of the anti-Romney force, most of all Rick Perry, have gone into temporary Bain-bashing retirement.

(For a recap of what Team Non-Romney accomplished Wednesday — it was really quite beautiful — just watch this little clip.)

Irrelevant Sarah jumped in just a little late, saying on Fox News that Romney needs to actually “prove” to America that he created those 100,000 jobs. WARNING: many pronouns to follow.

This isn’t about a politician making huge profits in the private sector, [I] think what Governor Perry is getting at is that Governor Romney claimed to have created 100,000 jobs at Bain and you know, people are wanting to know: Is there proof of that claim? And was it U.S. jobs created for United States [c]itizens? You know, the 100,000 jobs, and I believe that that’s what Governor Perry is getting at is, you know, own up to the claims that are being made I had and that’s fair. That’s not negative campaigning, that’s fair to get a candidate to be held accountable to what’s being claimed, especially when it comes to job creation because so many of us are so concerned about what’s going on on Main Street, as well as Wall Street.”

At it but and so you know is that it is but who what where why how and then me and you and money and yes well. But the woman has a point.

Unfortunately, Romney, campaigning in South Carolina Thursday, came to the defense of himself re: Bain, saying the following:

There are a number of businesses that we helped start, which collectively, you can just look on their Web sites, added well over 100,000 jobs. And then the press has also reported on businesses that lost employment and that was a few thousand jobs that were lost. In each case where there was job loss, there was an effort on the part of the management team to try and preserve the business and to have a brighter future. The net of the two is pretty clearly well over 100,000 jobs, and the reality is in the private sector, that there are some businesses that are growing and thriving, and we were fortunate enough to be able to be part of that in a small way, and there’s some businesses that have to be cut back in order to survive and try to make them stronger. And sometimes you’re successful at that and sometimes you’re not.

Able to be a part of that in a small[*] way. Also, how exactly does “just looking on” the websites of the companies show America how many jobs Bain created for them?

If the Mittvengers would just keep on keeping on, it may possibly hopefully wishfully be only a matter of time before Mitt Romney self-destructs in one spectacular vomit of words just like his father did. [Fox News via RealClearPolitics]

*”Bain produced about $2.5 billion in gains for its investors in the 77 deals, on about $1.1 billion invested. Overall, Bain recorded roughly 50% to 80% annual gains in this period, which experts said was among the best track records for buyout firms in that era.”

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    Seriously, Sarah who?

    • Baconzgood

      BLOOD LIBEL!

      (that's the thing that I do.)

      • Barb

        That's the fourth time today you've followed my post and hit it with the "libel" thing.

      • Barb

        That's five times today you've followed my post and added "blood libel"

        • Baconzgood

          I want you to feel special Barb so don't look at anyother comments between the first and mine. You're the only BLOOD LIBEL! that means anything to me. The others mean nothing.

          • Barb

            That's eight times you've followed my posts and posted BLOOD LIBEL today. I am out of here.

          • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

            oh, Baconz…

      • Barb

        That's the sixth time you've followed my post and posted BLOOD LIBEL.

      • http://wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

        BACON LIBEL!

      • MissTaken

        You can't do that! I'm not Barb.

        • SorosBot

          BARB LIBEL!

          • MissTaken

            You're P is already bigger!

          • Baconzgood

            I was going to go with "Blarb Lib… etc etc."

      • Guppy

        Are you channeling the defunct Terror Alert Robot?

      • Guppy

        You're gonna get banned for this, but by God it's worth it!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        MEME LIBEL!

      • GOPCrusher

        57 STATES!

      • Negropolis

        Blood Orange libel!

    • hagajim

      Exactly, who is this twit and why does she keep showing up on the Wonkette? Does Ken have a crush on her or something?

      • UW8316154

        Some Canadian chick, I think. Dunno for sure.

    • Negropolis

      That's Sarah Lou Who to you, bub.

  • veritass

    Repost.

    7 oranges. 14 beatings.

  • Barb

    Sarah keeps a small Bump-It factory in Singapore working 24/7.

    • nounverb911

      Was that the conference call Miss Taken was on the other day?

    • Guppy

      I hear they threatened to commit suicide en masse…

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Orly Taitz, We need you to get to the bottom of this.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      You spelled that wrong – it's 'Oily Taint'.

  • Joshua Norton

    Geez. It's damned near impossible to pick who to root for in this wingnut brouhaha.

  • DrunkIrishman

    It's great Sarah Palin, the Anna Nicole Smith of politics, continues to grace us with her presence.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Your analogy fails, Sir! No magazine I have owned with Sarah in it has ever had sticky pages!

      • http://sickrantorum.com KenLayIsAlive

        I don't know, I'm pretty sure I puked on my copy of Newsweek that had the closeup of her nasty caked on makeup face and her grody little mustache poking out.

    • chicken_thief

      Glenn Rice porked Anna, too? Also?

  • tihond

    Get off Mitt's Back Sarah. He meant blow jobs.

  • MaxNeanderthal

    This is the kind of misuse of the english language up with which I will not put…

    • nounverb911

      Хорошо сказано!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Easy for you to say.

    • veritass

      To boldly split infinitives that no man has split before.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      LIBEL LIBEL!

  • Barb

    And in other Palin news….Bristol's show was shit canned by Disney before it even aired. She moved back to Alaska, claiming "I am tired of Hollywood" She thinks Maricopa, AZ is Hollywood.

    • Callyson

      THAT is the best news Los Angeles has had in a while…

    • tealsheart

      BriStolen with the 'Drunk Vagina' says: "I am tired of Hollywood rejecting my dumb azz."

  • bflrtsplk

    Romney has been "Bainwashed."

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      Or SwiftBained.

  • comrad_darkness

    >that’s fair to get a candidate to be held accountable to what’s being claimed

    Suddenly, fact gathering isn't gotcha journalism? Shortest memory ever.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

    They're all jealous because Mitt has mo' money.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Haven't you heard? They're practising "the politics of Envy." I don't know if Sarah's catching the tail-current of this from stupid or sheer incompetence, but the big money puppetmasters of the GOP have had to yank on the leashes hard. They don't like their doings being examined too closely. It's important to discredit those who would attack the greedy capitalism of Bain.

      • http://wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

        whoops–read that initially as "they don't like their dongs being examined too closely"..

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Oh, sure, *now* it's all "whoops."

          Besides, you ought to know that Republicans would seriously adore to have their nether bits admirated upon at close range and handled, examined, etc.

  • MissTaken

    I'm glad Fox gives a voice to the verbally challenged.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Fox is just trying to keep her relevant to swoop in as someone's running mate so she can debate Biden once more.

      • http://wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

        She can't wait to use that ol' humdinger "Say It Ain't So, Joe" again..
        Brilliant!

      • MissTaken

        That's Joe O'Biden, thank you very much!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Now you've done it, Liz! Barb's gonna hit 175 pee!

    • Barb

      LOL!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Hey, I know the Snow Cunt brings out the best in ya.

  • elviouslyqueer

    In each case where there was job loss, there was an effort on the part of the management team to try and preserve the business and to have a brighter future.

    Oh man. This isn't just "Pants on Fire" bullshit. This is full-on, burn the motherfucker down mendacity.

    • Callyson

      In each case where there was job loss, there was an effort on the part of the management team to try and preserve their sorry asses and to cash in while the money's good.
      /fixed

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

    As they say, though, even a perpetually vapid snowbilly grifter is right twice a dayecade.

  • Nesnora

    I if that woman has shit that for brains… but point that being then mostly me not being fired = a new job created??

  • mavenmaven

    While all of Romney's talk about envy awakens my inner Freudian, Palin jumping into the fray definitely brings me to fears of castration.

  • MissTaken

    I feel very sorry for the poor DHS agent that has to monitor this twat's tweets.

    • SorosBot

      Oh I'm sure they're good for a lot of laughs.

    • Rotundo_

      When you have *really* pissed off your supervisor, you are placed in the cube of doom and monitor $arah, Glenn Beck and El Rushbo for a week. If you make it through without quitting they let you move up to the suspicious folks again. Screw up twice and your placed there until retirement.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

    Next on TurdTV: Karl Rove!

  • Baconzgood

    -"people are wanting to know"-
    -"And was it U.S. jobs created for United States [c]itizens?"-
    -"You know, the 100,000 jobs, and I believe that that’s what Governor Perry is getting at is, you know, own up to the claims that are being made I had and that’s fair."-
    -"that’s fair to get a candidate to be held accountable to what’s being claimed,"-

    So that's what it would sound like if the part of my brain in charge of speech was replaced by a piece of cheese cake.

    • Baconzgood

      AND YES EVEN BLOOD LIBEL! ON MYSELF!

    • BornInATrailer

      Cheesecake is far too pleasant. More like the parasite she got from that undercooked moose taco just took a shit in her speech center.

  • Not_So_Much

    "you know"

    Maybe she doesn't really know what that means?

  • SorosBot

    Remember, according to the NY Times it's "truth vigilantism" and they don't think it's their job.

  • edgydrifter

    I've given money to Comcast, Chase, Home Depot, and literally hundreds of other companies over the past decade. As a positive contributor to top-line revenue, I can legitimately claim responsibility for any and all jobs created at any these companies, ever. I can haz nomination now?

    PS: Any job losses at these firms were entirely caused by taxes, burdensome regulation and government policy-related "uncertainty" dragging down the general economy. Not my fault.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Me too!

  • SorosBot

    Why is Fox letting some random private citizen spout off her uninformed blather?

    • Tundra Grifter

      SB: And paying her to do it – although somehow on the FOXPAC it is never mentioned when employees of the network "interview" employees of the network.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I thought that was FOX's entire business model.

      • fuflans

        damn i was going to say EXACTLY that.

        cheers!

    • Barb

      She fancies herself a political Margaret Thatcher. More like Margaret Snatcher.

      • SorosBot

        Wait, wasn't Margaret Thatcher the political Margaret Thatcher?

        • MissTaken

          No, that Margaret Thatcher was the sexy Margaret Thatcher.
          http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/01/09/

          • SorosBot

            Aaaaah! Margaret Thatcher and sex are two things that should not go together. Is the Daily Beast trying to destroy our minds?

          • MissTaken

            Yes.

            “The sensation was one of hardening of the organs,” he chuckled in the retelling. “She is sexy and very interested in sex"

            Enjoy your now lack of erection!

          • user-of-owls

            "The sensation was one of moistening of the organs,” Limbaugh's wife chuckled in the retelling. “He is sexy and very interested in sex"

            See? How do you like it?!

          • not that Dewey

            Don't MAKE ME whip out my Tagg face…

          • Loaded_Pants

            No surprise that was written by Gail Sheehy.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            The article makes a very bold claim, but then the photo midway down the page reversed my puberty. Painfully.

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

      Paging Martha MacCallum
      ~

  • neiltheblaze

    Only a few thousand jobs were lost? Whew, that's comforting.

    • tealsheart

      The rest Quit

  • OneYieldRegular

    You can make fun of the way Sarah Palin speaks, but the truth is that we have a lot of people right here in San Francisco who speak just like her. Of course, they're usually wandering around Civic Center at 4 in the morning, a crack pipe in one hand and a soiled blanket in the other.

    • MissTaken

      Hey now! Those are CrankTango's OKCupid dates. Be nice!

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Sarah Palin's joined the Really Dumb Gopers Socialist Singers…

    If I had a billion dollar hedge fund (If I had a billion dollar hedge fund)
    I'd buy your employer (then I would shut it down)
    If I had a billion dollar hedge fund (If I had a billion dollar hedge fund)
    I'd get you a job ( but not a nice paying one cause that's rude)
    If I had a billion dollar hedge fund (If I had a billion dollar hedge fund)
    I'd make rich guys even more cash ( a nice bigass pile of cash)
    If I had a billion dollar hedge fund, I'd run for prez…

    • http://wonkette.com Mrspanky

      "I'm lying in bed; thinking what Sarah Palin said.
      I'm lying in bed; thinking what SARAH PALIN SAID…….
      YEAH!!!"

      God, I wish Sarah and Casey Anthony would become lesbian lovers and run off to a remote island in the Aleutians to star in the next season of "Deadliest Catch"!

      • NellCote71

        Deadliesr snatch. Fixed.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    How many jobs did Mitt Romney create?

    All of them, Katie.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    What about the Olympics? There must have been 100,000 jobs created for that thing. All the people that came to Utah to ski around on those boards. Oh and there were people that had to make those snow hills for them to jump off. Look at all the Hockey Players there were. Must have been a thousand of them. I bet it took a lot of people to make those Bobsled tracks. Think of the cooks they had to have to cook for them! Probably another 1,000 right there.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Sometimes, you sound SO convincing.

    • chicken_thief

      But he wasn't running for Prezdent then, so prolly hired the Messikuns to cook.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      The Mittens campaign will run ads with exactly what you just said, and then be baffled at why people are laughing.

  • Crank_Tango

    I couldn't get past the first three or four words, croutons, and chickpeas…do I actually agree with her on this one, or not?

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

      Even a snowbilly grifter is right two times a day once a decade.
      ~

    • DahBoner

      Don't forget about the sunflower seeds and sprouts on that WordSalad…

  • gullywompr

    Romney campaign response: "That cunt."

    • Guppy

      Trollop!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Sarah is just holding to her principals. You shouldn't make money by shit-canning the poor, moving jobs to Asia, and selling off the assets of the company. The ethical way to make money is to grift the poor.

    Everyone knows that.

  • Tundra Grifter

    It's looking more and more to me like Bane Capital.

  • Wilcoxyz

    If only a job had birf certificate so we would know who created it. Of course, this would put some jobortions on Mitt's record as well.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Lots and lots of 'em.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      "Jobortions" is genius!

  • jus_wonderin

    It really is good to hear from her. I haven't had my recommended daily requirements of garbledyphrufff and pethernashma in quite sometime. Hell, a snippet of liquilsquaffel is good for the soul.

    • elviouslyqueer

      JABBERWOCKY LIBEL!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Romney is very upset about all of these attacks. After all, his millionaire friends have feelings too, and not a single one of them lost their job due to Bain Capital.

    • SorosBot

      And some of his millionaire friends are unemployed, just like him! They know the pain of not working and having to rely on nothing but millions invested in the stock market.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        It is hard growing up with wealth, and then having to live with all that wealth your entire life. At times, I think the rich must envy the poor, who will never know the complications of living off of a trust fund.

        • DahBoner

          The help always pilfers the tableware.

          Boo hoo hoo…

          • Lionel[redacted]Esq

            Exactly! Do the poor ever have to deal with problems like that? I think not.

    • Guppy

      Romney said corporations were people, but never said they had feelings

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        If you prick a corporation, does it not bleed?
        If you tickle a corporation, does it not laugh? If you poison a corporation,
        does it not die? And if you wrong a corporation, shall it not revenge?

  • Extemporanus

    The world needs more Bains, not fewer.

    • http://wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

      Like this Bain?

      • Extemporanus

        What'choo talkin' 'bout, Willard?

        • http://wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

          *cringe* it's so white! It's hurting my eyes!!!!! Make it go back to the suburbs!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Conrad Bain is the new Batman villain?! Worst reboot ever!!

        • Extemporanus

          Charlotte Rae is the new Alfred, so ya take the good, ya take the bad…

    • bikerlaureate

      It's the only thing
      that there's just too little of.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Sarah Palin's cerebral machinations remind one of a bumblebee in a hatbox thrown down a flight of stairs. And if she can figure out that Mitt's full of shit, then South Carolinians might be catching on too.

    • emmelemm

      HA! There's a picture.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    This from the woman that shit her pants and yelled "GOTCHA QUESTION" when someone asked her what she had for breakfast in 2008.

  • Indiepalin

    Trending now: Marine Urination Sarah Coke Fungicide Palin

  • Baconzgood

    CHHHHHHRIST! It's like listening to a 12 year old talk about Justin-Cyrus-Moore-Mandy-Bieber.

    "Like (some words) you know and (some words) like you know (some words) and you know like (some words then baconz bashes you in the head with a hammer).

    • Rotundo_

      Only she doesn't have the excuse of having raging hormones coursing through their veins causing this sort of delusional mambling behavior. She's just naturally stupid, from Alaska!

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Early in the interview Palin is asked about Michele Bachmann, Jon Huntsman, and others in the race dropping out, Palin responds that those "on the very, very bottom of the tier based on polls and based on heading into these caucuses, and primaries in individual states doesn't look like they have a chance, well then, just being a practical person as I am, I would say that for their own good that they would look at stepping aside and having their supporters start coalescing around another conservative in order to oust the incumbent."

        I ask again and again, who the fuck talks this way?! And who gets paid a million dollars a year to talk this way?!

  • BigDumbRedDog

    I like watching a pack of heyenas turn on one of their own.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Mooselini will make the Bains run on time.
    ~

  • BigDumbRedDog

    Why does no one ever pay me for my idiotic opinions?

    • BarackMyWorld

      Apparently they are not idiotic enough.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Interesting. Romney-Pere sussed that he had been lied to about Viet Nam, and also was rather pro-Colored, disagreeing with the MorMen about our "inferiority" and actually supporting MLK, according to Wikipedia. But that was back when the Republican Party actually accepted a range of views.

    • Guppy

      "according to Wikipedia"

      How many edits from Salt Lake City?

  • Rosie_Scenario

    This is bad news for John McCain.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I think they are trying to trick us. So when it's Obama vs. Romney. Obama can't bring up the Bain Capital thing because everybody will all be like, "BORING! We've already heard about that junk for the last 6 months! We are tired of that. Find something new."

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know, I spent most of the Fall with FOX News telling me that the OWS movement was irrelevant and would hurt the Democratic party.

    This apparently is only partially true, as apparently OWS has become the philosophical center of half of the Republican Party now. The question is, can Obama get to the left of Gingrich and Palin?

    • jus_wonderin

      He will need a can of WD40 to do it.

  • bitchincamaro2

    If you exclude the Huntsman family fortune, Romney's well-heeled Republican detractors look like relative pikers compared to his mega-bucks. Though none of them would qualify as 99%-ers, they may fit Mittens' "envious" profiling of the "other" America. Irony alert!!

    edit: hats off to smokefillednewyear who said it more directly

  • Chichikovovich

    In each case where there was job loss, there was an effort on the part of the management team to try and preserve the business and to have a brighter future

    "And after we screwed that up, in a way that anyone with a lick of sense could have predicted, by things like putting marketing and corporate people who knew nothing about making steel in charge of production at steel mills we, and our shareholders, still made out like bandits when we broke up the company because of that gorgeous, alluring pension fund. Oh, I can't tell you what those days were like – the fund had this smile that just grabs you and pulls you in, so irresistible, [wistfully] it would shake it's assets at me and wink…(pause) You know people, everyone has their own taste in these matters, but for me I love a pension fund to have a little meat on it – more cushion for the pushin' the fund would say, and giggle. It was really huge, just bulging all over [emphasises with hands] 'You're too much for just one man to handle', I'd say when I took her to see the company accountant. You know, I was forty at the time, but that's young in Mormon years, and I don't think I've ever felt as alive as I did running my fingers gently across those account books and then….

    Excuse me, what was I saying?"

    • Ducksworthy

      Reminds me of the bright young MBA's Bush sent to straighten our Iraq's finances. Also, the Wall Street Geniuses who brought us the Great Recession. But thank Gawd they all go their bonuses.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    *”Bain produced about $2.5 billion in gains for its investors in the 77 deals, on about $1.1 billion invested. Overall, Bain recorded roughly 50% to 80% annual gains in this period, which experts said was among the best track records for buyout firms in that era.”

    So, he created jobs for maids, pool boys, yard boys, chauffeurs, and other service positions for rich people.

    • UW8316154

      You forget rentboy.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I don't remember watching any Bain Capital commercials on TV.
    How am I to know what kind hamburgers or Pig minis they have?

  • SayItWithWookies

    What's funny is that the Mitt endorser still says (as of yesterday) that picking Sarah Palin for his running mate was the best decision he'd ever made. Then again, this was from a man who once decided to call his wife a makeup-slathered whore in front of the press.

    • BarackMyWorld

      McCain's life has been a never-ending pattern of accomplishing something, then almost immediately fucking it up. Maverick!

  • Generation[redacted]

    She's like Shakespeare.

    You know or not you know. What was the question?

  • Indiepalin

    Liberal Hollywood knows no shame. Suddenly, it's no coincidence that the villain in this summer's blockbuster, "The Dark Knight Rises", is named Bane.

    • Generation[redacted]

      And 99% of the Muppets try to save their theater from Tex Richman.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Someone (read Lou Sarah) isn't just a wee bit jealous??

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Wow! Paul Stanley is HAAAWT! I was made for lovin' you, baby!

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Negligently_Joe

    I love how Mittens "100,000 jobs" bullshit is so facile and cynically dependent on the innumeracy of moron-Americans that even famous illterate Sarah Palin realizes there's something fishy about it.

    • banana_bread

      "Famous Illiterate Sarah Palin" needs to be her chiron, forever.

  • fuflans

    well this is timely. npr is telling me paul revere's bell is back at the old south meeting house in boston.

    but looking at that bell, looks like he would have had a hell of time ringin it.

  • widestanceshakedown

    How does she do it? Just a few weeks ago, she was channeling Edith Prickley, and now she's gone full-on Endora. Can't wait for the bottle-blonde hooker look.

  • Callyson

    "There are a number of businesses that we helped start, which collectively, you can just look on their Web sites, added well over 100,000 jobs."
    Does *no one* remember the phrase "Post hoc, ergo propter hoc"…?
    …Apparently not, since spell check is redlining three of the for words there. I weep for the future…

    • Generation[redacted]

      I believe the phrase is:

      Post like hoc, you know, ergo as well propter like you know hoc as well. Also.

    • Guppy

      Where in the Bible is it?

    • James Michael Curley

      Yea, we learned that in Law School. It means; "It's the end of the year, my billable rate goes up."

    • James Michael Curley

      Yea, we learned that in Law School. It means; "It's the end of the year, my billable rate went up last June"

  • ElPinche

    Uh…pardon me, but can someone help me out of this giant Palin word salad. I'm trapped underneath two tons of rambling thoughts in the first turd block of text.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Palin always speaks in the turd person.

  • bflrtsplk

    His computer crashed and won't type anything else. Baconzgood just Blood Libeled my last comment as well.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Is Baconz having a stroke?! Should we send an ambulance to his IP address??

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

      One of these via FedEx should get 'em fixxorred up in no time.
      ~

      • Loaded_Pants

        Not that's um….impressive?

    • James Michael Curley

      I emailed one of those $4 Lipitor CoPay cards. Good for a whole year.

  • DahBoner

    Back in 2008, Sarah Palin created over 100,000 boners in America!

  • lochnessmonster

    Does she get that whole mash up of words out all in one breath?

  • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

    Damn, I got lost about half way through that word salad. What the fuck did she say?

  • BarackMyWorld

    "There are a number of businesses that we helped start, which collectively…added well over 100,000 jobs."

    This is like Pete Best taking credit for the White Album.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Deft!

  • ThundercatHo

    That Hee-Haw hair is fuckin' amazing.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Takes attention away from her sagging face.

  • WinterOuthouse

    Shouldn't a person have an elementary level grasp on the English Language before speaking on teevee?

    • Loaded_Pants

      Not anymore.

  • WinterOuthouse

    English as a second language is tough to master.

  • UnholyMoses

    As a professional writer, I have found that reading/hearing Caribou Barbie (TM, tbogg) creates a nearly-impossible-to-contain urge to grab a red pen … and stab her with it.

    Okay, not really (Ohai, TSA!). But I would like her to go back to Alaska to her igloo or trailer or whatever the hell it is those people sleep in.*

    (* Poor grammar due to Fuzzy Zeller reference.)

  • Radiotherapy

    Have Todd and TRIsomyG piped in on this yet?

  • DemonicRage

    The best job she ever created was the commission bonus paid to the sales clerk at Saks who helped Todd pick out his $25 a pair silk boxers, when The Republican National Committe was picking up the tab. I wonder how she reacted when he wore them as pajamas.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Watch out Mitt, this is a game-changer.

  • real_dc_native

    "There are a number of businesses that we helped start, which collectively, you can just look on their Web sites, added well over 100,000 jobs."

    WELL, if it's on their websites it MUST be true! You bunch of envious poors.

  • Barrelhse

    Bain Capital is the proxy for the LDS church; the fundies think Mormons are a cult.

  • valgal2342

    So, Todd endorses Romney and Sarah tosses word salad at him. Hot sex in Alaska tonight!

    • tealsheart

      That's gonna require a lots of weed

  • PsycWench

    I am channeling Count von Count from Sesame Street "That's seven SEVEN times baconzgood said Blood Libel. Ha Ha Ha! " *followed by thunderbolt, bats appearing out of nowhere.

  • pinkocommi

    "that’s fair to get a candidate to be held accountable to what’s being claimed"

    What I wouldn't give to hear Faux Commentator Palin applying this theory to Candidate Palin. Faux commentator Palin could start with Candidate Palin's claim to have foreign policy experience because she can see Russia from her house. It would be a mobius strip of run-on sentences inanity.

  • voodooeconomics

    You know I thought I knew this woman. I like her with the hair tousled so.Forget Mitt. She is doable.

  • James Michael Curley

    100,000 Benjamins? That's only $10,000,000. Ann finds that lumped up in the lint trap when she washes his Haband Fit-Forever™ Slaxs.

  • notreelyhelping

    Oh my gosh, that almost made sense of fraction's second, by golly.

  • owhatever

    It's not a great day in South Carolina! Mitt Romney came by the house and grandpa peppered him with birdshot. Miss Santorum tried to out-Bible us, but didn't get past Genesis. Rick Perry said he was an American, altho we know he's from Texas. Gingrich stuffed his craw with donuts and Huntsman said he was American, but talked in Chinee. Ron Paul is the only answer. Actually, Jerry Springer would win the state, but he ain't in the race.

  • rocktonsam

    pronoun libel!1!

  • C_R_Eature

    Oh, great. Mrs Malaprop is in the news again.

    Every time I have to see this nonsense spewing animal on the news or try to make sense of statements that look for all the world like the results of a machine stuck right in the middle of spectacularly failing a Turing test, thousands of neurons in my brain begin to die.

    My mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it.

    David Bowman is floating in my brain right now, pulling out the crystalline holographic memory blocks one by one. I'm Afraid.

    • northernbassist

      Daisy, ..D-a-i-s-y,….give..me….your…answer..do…:

      "All of them, Katie!!" <wink>

      • NellCote71

        V. good.

  • real_dc_native

    Actually the issue isn't about how many jobs Mitt created or eliminated. The issue is that he made a lot of money for himself and his clients by shuffling money around. They all took huge profits while producing nothing tangible. Taking capital out of the economy and not using it to produce goods does kill jobs and makes most of us poorer. (except Mitt and his clients).

    That's why it's called vulture capitalism or more accurately vampire capitalism.

  • ttommyunger

    Gabby Johnson, foremost expert on Authentic Frontier Gibberish (of Blazing Saddles Fame) will translate Sarah's blather for those interested.

    • chicken_thief

      I'll do the Fred Thompson "I'm not participating in the hand showing during this debate."

      • ttommyunger

        I googled “Fred Thompson” and all that came up was “Big Dumb Cunt”.

  • tealsheart

    Oh, she's back… Now peddling her treasured family recipe for mooseMeatBalls?

  • Negropolis

    Only tangentially related to the subject, but I hadn't seen the name "Benjamin" in print in so long, that when I read it, I actually placed the stress on the second syllable. I was like "What the hell are ben-JAH-mins?" lol I thought it was something from India.

  • Negropolis

    I so missed seeing the Alaskan dialect of Backwater Gibberish in print.

  • Negropolis

    Baconzgood, what the fuck was wrong with you earlier? BTW, don't ever do that again, okay? Thanks.

    • chicken_thief

      BACONZ LIBEL!!!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You are not paying attention. The poor have plenty of money, they just spend it all on food and booze and big screen TVs. How much better would they be if they sent it to Palin instead of spending it on food or TVs?