A better ride than having Jan Brewer as your governor!

One of the dimmer stars in the galaxy of indignities that Arizona’s teabagger governor loon Jan Brewer has wrought upon her dominion is the fact that she sold off the state’s capitol to a bunch of private investors in 2010 to raise some quick cash and is currently only leasing the government’s office space, which looks a little embarrassing as Arizona is now looking forward to celebrating its centennial next month in a rental shack. OOPS. She’s really sorry about this, though, so she wants the state legislature to buy it back for her with some of the money it’s been saving from cutting education and health care (and then passing a half-billion dollar corporate tax cut). This will heal the pain, surely!

From the Yuma Sun:

Citing the state’s upcoming 100th birthday, Gov. Jan Brewer on Monday asked lawmakers to buy back three buildings at the Capitol that were mortgaged off two years ago to balance the budget.

The move will cost the state $105 million out of its current budget surplus. Brewer press aide Matthew Benson said the state has the cash.

Benson acknowledged the state actually got only $81 million for the state House, the Senate and the nine-story executive tower that includes Brewer’s office when it negotiated a ‚Äúsale-leaseback” arrangement in 2010.

But he said that $24 million difference should not be seen as an exorbitant interest rate for just two years of borrowing. Instead, Benson said, it actually is a savings: If the state had taken the full 20 years to pay off the debt, the cost would be far more.

Brewer, however, said she sees this as more than an issue of dollars and cents. She called it a matter of pride as the state recovers economically.

Yep, that’ll save Arizona’s pride! [Yuma Sun via Mother Jones]

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  • Barb

    What a big prick! Prickly prick? Cocktus?

    • slithytoves

      I think I've seen that picture used on Wonkette at least a dozen times. Can't they find any other pictures of ridiculous penies? I mean that shouldn't take any effort at all.

  • nounverb911

    Jan Brewer? Wasn't she one of the headless bodies they found in the desert?

    • chascates

      I thought she was one of the Brady girls.

    • DaRooster

      AZ wishes.

    • I miss Riley. Remember when he reported on Brewer changing her story about the ranchers being beheaded, and admitting that they were, in fact, in mint condition?

      But I love you, too, Kirsten. Ever true to Brown!

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        The best was after the debate when a reporter actually did his job and asked her to back up the "headless bodies" claim. She locked up like she was going through a crash/reboot cycle then ran away.

        • emmelemm

          Oooh… that WAS a great moment.

    • kissawookiee

      No. She only sounds that way every time she talks.

    • poncho_pilot

      brainless. i think you mean brainless.

      • PsycWench

        Possibly soulless also.

        • poncho_pilot

          she'd probably lease her soul out if she had one.

  • Seriously, I'm out of snark for Rethuglicans. Fuck them all with a rusty cattle prod, please….

    • IceCreamEmpress

      Larry "Widestance" Craig says "Holla!"

  • Wow. Is anyone in Arizona trying to figure out how she is connected to the people who she sold the Capitol to?

    • NorthStarSpanx

      And why aren't their nice corporate logo's and tag-lines plastered all over the place?

      • The Arizona State Government, brought to you by Nike, Kraft Foods, and Philip Morris.

        • You got one right. It's Arizona, brought to you by Philip Morris, Smith & Wesson, and the private prison industry.

          • PsycWench

            Has Monsanto not gotten a foothold yet?

  • nounverb911

    "Numbers are hard."
    –Jan Brewer

    • vtxmcrider

      That's about the only thing that could ever be hard for Jan.

  • I would think the Capitol would be worth twice the original price seeing how awesome Arizona became after Brewer.

  • memzilla

    This is good news for those fine folks at JP Morgan Goldman of America Mortgage Backed Securities.

    Seriously, Jan, if you don't think we don't know — and that it won't eventually be uncovered — that your Rethuglican political connections are involved in this real estate buyback deal, then I've got some beachfront property in Sedona to sell you.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Just waiting for a big Muslin haboob to blow them all away.

  • rambone

    This is why Arizona can't have nice things . . .

  • Why just sell the capitol?? Sell the whole fucking state to California to use as a garbage dump or to the military to use for drone bombing practice. Sell the citizens too!! The military needs lots and lots of targets and humans make great ones!

    • MissTaken

      Do not want. In fact, us in Nor Cal are always thinking of ways to get rid of Southern California. Those bastards take our water.

      • Those of us truly in Nor Cal are suspicious of anyone south of the Mendocino line. And even those shifty bastards are suspect. Fortunately, we seem to be too perpetually stoned to do anything about it.

      • Crank_Tango

        it's OK. I peed in the water.

      • chilequiles

        Mmm, yes, give us your delicious water, it's absolutely imperative for survival! I mean, have you seen how dry my lawn has been looking lately? The ladies at the homeowner's association are not pleased.

    • SorosBot

      Or sell it back to Mexico.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      You're too late with that proposal.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Has Brewer considered selling off Arizona's citizens for body parts and transplants? Lots of money to be made there, Jan. Start with Sheriff Joe. Somebody might want his shriveled balls for trucknuts on their Prius.

  • Captain_Quark

    A matter of pride? In Arizona? Someone should tell her that there's nothing to be proud of in Arizona.

    • DahBoner

      Someone should tell her that there's nothing to be proud of in Arizona.

      Except for the Grand Canyon, but nothing man-made, fer sure…

      • chicken_thief

        Bristol libel!!!!

  • MissTaken

    Math is hard

    • SorosBot

      She's just a girl so she can't understand math anyway, in the right-wing mind.

  • nounverb911

    Doesn't Walnuts have some friends in the banking industry that could help?

    • GOPCrusher

      He did. Not sure if their prison sentences are up yet.

  • DaRooster

    "So what… I'm supposed to look before I leeeaaahhh……."

  • SorosBot

    I'd feel bad for the people of Arizona, but they're the ones who put this racist dumb asshole in the Governor's mansion in the first place.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Not all of us.

      • SorosBot

        OK, I'll feel bad for those of you who didn't vote for her.

        • Negropolis

          Yeah, all two of them.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Technically, the Obama administration had something to do with it, since Brewer backed into the gig from the office of Secretary of State when Napolitano went to DHS. But the dumb bunnies did give her a full term once given the chance.

    • NewtsChicknNeck

      That's MADAME Racist Dumb Asshole. She didn't spend years at Glendale Community College to receive a certificate as a radiological technologist and later ascend to the highest office in the state just so you could forget to call her MADAME, sir.

      Also, kind of ironic that the Gov. of Az. never found the time to get a mail-order degree when the harverd of for-profit institutions of hier book-learnin' is in her sun-baked backyard. c'mon, Jan, you're a phoenix.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Who says the real estate market has crashed in Arizona.

  • In the photo is that Jan Brewer in a dark burqua diving under those cacti nutz? Is she trying to give Arizona a prostrate probate exam?

  • Arizona! The gift that keeps on giving. If I may borrow from a Jimmy Dean tune:

    We forgive you Arizona
    For all the strange rows you've hoed;
    You're drinking from your saucer
    'Cause your cup o' crazy done overflowed.

  • I have a great idea. We can combine the Arizona Capitol and the Nevada Capitol and move it to Mexico. Think of the money this will save your constituents!

  • ttommyunger

    Have another drink, Governor, it'll be all right.

    • DahBoner

      She could really use a few shots of Botox…..

      • ttommyunger

        Or just shot. Oooops! Am I being too direct?

  • Callyson

    Why don't they just sell it to Walnuts, and it can be one of his who-knows-how-many houses?

  • Schmannnity

    Owing 105 million on a 81 million dollar loan? How ironic that a Republican has put the desert state of Arizona underwater.

  • Callyson

    House Minority Leader Chad Campbell was skeptical of the move because paying off the debt now — plus future interest — does not save any money compared with simply paying off the buildings after 10 years. More to the point, Campbell said, paying off the debt does nothing to create jobs.
    Money wasted, jobs scarce, embarrassing headlines…yep, the Republicans are in power…

  • proudgrampa

    Don't ya just love bureaucratic math? It's like from another dimension.

    Jesus H. Christ. On a pogo stick..

  • My quick 'rithumatick says AZ will pay about 15% APR for that loan. Payday lenders stand in awe.

  • chascates

    She'll probably still want to contract out all maintenance, cleaning, etc. of the buildings to prominent Republicans backers. That's part of the 'private enterprise always does it better' philosophy so beloved by people who go into government in order to dismantle it.

  • James Michael Curley

    Before November Jan Brewer's ears will slam together due to lack of substance preventing the occurrence..

  • Indiepalin

    Here in NM we celebrated OUR 100th over the weekend by unveiling a new state flag: It's a painting of a guy sitting in his pickup truck with the engine running while his buddy runs into Allsups to buy some more beer.

    • DahBoner

      It's a painting of a 15 year-old guy sitting in his pickup truck with the engine running with an ignition interlock while his buddy runs into Allsups to buy some more beer.


      • Indiepalin

        ….and fireworks

        • GOPCrusher

          Joe Dirt: So you're gonna tell me that you don't have no black cats, no Roman Candles, or screaming mimis?
          Kicking Wing: No.
          Joe Dirt: Oh come on, man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?
          Kicking Wing: No, I don't.
          Joe Dirt: You're gonna stand there, ownin' a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistlin' bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin' kitty chaser?
          Kicking Wing: No… because snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like.
          Joe Dirt: Well that might be your problem, it's not what you like, it's the consumer.

  • Indiepalin

    Doesn't Sheriff Joe still have some of those "Prison Tents" left, stored in his garage? They should do the trick. It's sure more than Brewer and her gang of idiots deserve.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Someone better tell Arpaio not to give all his tents away — he'll be needing one for himself soon enough.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    At least they're not underwater on their mortgage like I am. I wish I was renting.

  • Radiotherapy

    I can hardly wait for her endorsement of someone in the clown car.

  • MissTaken

    When I was little I sold my bike to the neighbor kid for $2. My parents were understandably pissed and told me to get the bike back that night. I had to pay $5. I learned this lesson when I was seven, too bad Brewer had to wait until she turned 183 to learn it.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Oh, Arizona's running a surplus — well maybe they can use that money to buy kidneys for those dead people who needed them a while back. Oh, and fuck you, Jan Brewer.

  • Radiotherapy

    Are we really sure she isn't Rexella van Impe?

    • emmelemm

      O M G

      I've seen their late-night newscast infomercial dealie-bobs! It's IN-SANE.

      (Sometimes I do work in the middle of the night because it's the only time I can concentrate. And I need the TV on so I don't feel so alone….)

  • coolhandnuke

    'Razing Arizona" a Koch brothers film.

  • So, just to be sure I understand, Brewer is a Republican, one of those conservative types that is supposedly fiscally responsible and somehow able to make all of our tax burdens go away while still providing us with everything the constitution promised us (guns, gods and toothless blowjobs?), is making an imprudent financial decision here? Color me shocked! I think my world is turning upside down.

    • DahBoner

      toothless blowjobs

      That was Phoenix in the 90's–meth/crack-addicted hooker paradise!

  • JackDempsey1

    It's gonna hit the fan when the building cleaning crews demand to be paid in pesos.

  • UnholyMoses

    So … this was basically a title loan, but except for using a car for collateral, they used state buildings.

    Wow. Just … wow.

  • OneYieldRegular

    What, you mean the capitol hasn't been torn down yet and turned into a luxury townhouse development, called "The Whispers at Capitol Mound" or something of the sort? There must be some environmental permitting problem holding things up. Damn liberals.

    • BigDumbRedDog

      It would be the perfect place for a casino.

      • MilwaukeeKent

        Sell it to Sheldon Adelson, he's making lots of stupid investments these days…

  • CapnFatback

    Matthew Benson must be a descendant of Signor Emanuel Ravelli.

  • DahBoner

    OT: "I am totally for capitalism. … I do draw a distinction between (it) and looting a company

    Randi Rhoades is right. Mitt is the POSTER BOY for GOP philosophy.

    Only the "company" is the US Treasury.

    Every single fucking time a Republican seizes power, they LOOT the treasury and replace it with debt.

    Which they later complain about when a Democrat gets elected to clean up their mess.

    Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

    Same deal, every fucking time….

    • Huevos Ocupados

      That nails it, pretty much.

      • NewtsChicknNeck

        Indeed. We can't afford books, roads, medicines, or regulatory agencies because we just paid Halliburton (a/k/a a corporation/person who lives in Dubai) $3 trillion to dig some holes in the desert and get some of your sons and daughters killed in foreign lands…but hey, the market's up, taxes are low (for us), and its not like your dead kids need schools now anyway. No sweat though. Jesus is comin' soon.

  • elviouslyqueer

    “Today, Arizonans and Americans are saying to Washington, D.C., we don't like an ever expanding government threatening our personal liberties,'' Brewer said.

    Except for when the governor wants to extort $105 million from taxpaying citizens in order to pay off a bad loan on three fancy office buildings that, in all likelihood, most Arizonans rarely if ever use. Then it's perfectly okay, because of state pride and shut up is why.

  • jus_wonderin

    Yeah, yeah, yeah…but is Jan ribbed for our pleasure???

    • YasserArraFeck

      maybe not ribbed – seriously furrowed? Certainly.

  • pinkocommi

    Brewster's Millions. Classic Richard Pryor film. Shitty for Arizona.

  • paris biltong

    I just made an extremely intelligent and witty comment that was "removed by the administrator." Your loss, bitches.

    • Limeylizzie

      Did you say the word that could be used for a Palin child and/or a Teabagger?

      • slithytoves

        That still annoys me. Now I can't even say "the throttle was ret@rded," or corporate bailouts ret@rd the economy. "Help, I'm being oppressed!!"

        • I'm pretty sure you can say both retard and retarded.

        • not that Dewey

          or "the electric potential due to a charged particle traveling at close to the speed of light can be described with the ret@rded Green's function"

      • paris biltong

        Censor-fucking-ship? Ha, ha, I just used it again below and it passed muster.

        Edited: Goddam, they removed my comment, the re-turds.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    "Dammit, and we just got the brass poles installed in the old court rooms."

  • Limeylizzie

    I seriously have no snark, this country has lost its mind.

    • If you pack up and go home, please take me with you. I promise I've never had a mind to lose.

    • GOPCrusher

      Just waking up in the morning is getting to be an adventure.

  • Mojopo

    Why doesn't she borrow some tents from Arpaio (and kiss my ass)?

  • CapnFatback

    If this strategy of spending money to re-obtain Arizona's pride works, look for Jan Brewer to give that male escort two thousand bucks to buy back her virginity next.

    I mean, hell, considering the rate of inflation over the last thirty years, she'd be practically committing hymen robbery!

  • mavenmaven

    Symbolic of republican Merka that even the state capitol was short-saled.

  • Worst game of Monopoly ever.

  • GunToting[Redacted]


    I really do love my state. Once you get out of the valley, it's beautiful. Unfortunately, it is a magnet for the insane.

  • WinterOuthouse

    Which one of the 'state houses' did Brissle Palin buy?

  • hagajim

    Did Bain Capital buy the fucking state buildings? Jesus how does a building increase over $20 million in value in two years when the rest of the economy in that same state is in the shitter? This is fucking GOP accounting at its very fucking best. Way to go Jan – fucking idiot!

  • dijetlo

    I have been exploring the opportunities presented by squatting. First, put your monthly mortgage in a recession proof market index (one that specializes in booze, prostitution and pron). You'll have between 6 and 18 months before the bank moves to evict you. Then, claim you aren't the title holder, but in fact a squatter who's moved into the abandoned property and sue for tenancy rights. That will buy you another six months at least. At that point, you can probably buy the property for cash at the auction by liquidating your porn/prostitution/booze holdings.

  • Eve8Apples

    As punishment for electing a dizzy bitch as governor, Arizonans do not deserve a fancy capitol building. Fancy capitol buildings are socialist, communist empires. The Arizona government should be run from an RV parked in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

    • GOPCrusher

      The stupid assholes would probably pay 20 million for that.

    • elviouslyqueer

      FEMA trailer or GTFO.

    • Negropolis

      "dizzy bitch" FTW.

  • paris biltong

    OK. Here we go again. Arizonan's are of normal intelligence, but they seem to forget that a sale and leaseback deal works if you sell your asset to an entity you control. Otherwise you just end up paying rent (here, about 12 million a year) to your landlord rather than to yourself.

  • WhatTheHeck

    It used to be that selling any property below fair market value raised suspicions.
    But then, this is capitalism at work in this great democracy.

  • widestanceshakedown

    And the GOP has the reputation for being good with government money because why?

    • Why do you hate the troops and baby jesus? Because shut up that's why!

      Or, more honestly, because people listen to the loudest, most repeated bullshit and consider it to be the truth. And nobody in America these days seems to be louder and more full of shit than the GOP. We need better shouters on the left. EAT YOUR FUCKING BROCCOLI IT'S GOOD FOR YOU, YOU FUCKS!!!!! Anyone have a broccoli craving yet?

      • widestanceshakedown

        Yes, and they are also strong on defense, despite the fact that some crazy dudes with box cutters and a dream committed the worst terrorist attack in our history under their watch.

        Yep, I'm still bitter about that, too.

        • What are you smoking? I heard that there were no successful terrorist attacks under Bush's watch. You must be thinking of the early Obama years, back when he was tanking our economy and selling us out to our new Kenyan Socialist Alpha Centauri Manchurian overlords.

      • Well, I definitely want to fuck broccoli now.

        • "Fuck Broccoli Now" would be a good bumpersticker slogan. I'll have to see if I can paint it on the side of the silver and pink camper adorned with a mixture of biblical passages and witticisms such as "Eat Pussy Not Cow" that's been parked across the freeway from Humboldt State University the past couple of months.

        • widestanceshakedown

          Like, want to a whole bunch? Or just head?

          • Gonna get me me some sweet sweet florets.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "But he said that $24 million difference should not be seen as an exorbitant interest rate for just two years of borrowing. Instead, Benson said, it actually is a savings: If the state had taken the full 20 years to pay off the debt, the cost would be far more."

    Now hiring: Gubernatorial press agent. Must be fluent in Doublespeak. Knowledge of Spanish not required.

  • Neoyorquino

    Oh, how I miss the authentic frontier gibberish of Arizona. Oh wait. No, I don't.

  • Guppy

    $24 million? Who holds the note, the First Bank of Joe's Payday Loan and Drive-Thru Package Store?

    • GOPCrusher

      Bill's Bail Bonds and Pawn Shop.

    • unclejeems

      Steve and Joy's House of Prostitution and Hand Laundry, Searchlight, Nevada.

  • bitchincamaro2

    Note to Jan Brewer: build a mosque next to it; watch sale price plummet; purchase at lower price. Profit!

  • owhatever

    Desert Vulture capitalism. Should have fired all the workers, too.

  • SorosBot

    What happened to the comments on the Gingrich article?

  • Eve8Apples

    Jan's next great idea is to sell the Grand Canyon to California so they can fill it with their garbage and untreated sewage. Why would Arizona want a big hole in the ground when it could be making money for some real estate tycoon?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    OT, but maybe O'Keefe has finally stuck his dick in the wrong hornet's nest. Hopefully this goes really bad for him.

    • GOPCrusher

      That smug asshole belongs in a Federal "Pound You In The Ass" prison.

    • Barrelhse

      Anyone think they'll press charges?

  • Radiotherapy

    Commenting Disabled
    Further commenting on this page has been disabled by the blog admin.

    • elviouslyqueer

      This comment has been deleted by the administrator

  • kissawookiee

    "But he said that $24 million difference should not be seen as an exorbitant interest rate for just two years of borrowing. Instead, Benson said, it actually is a savings: If the state had taken the full 20 years to pay off the debt, the cost would be far more."

    Whaddya mean we can't afford this Bentley I just bought? Have you seen what a Maybach goes for these days?

  • Callyson

    PLEASE send that wuss to one of Arpaio's jails. Pics of him in pink undies please!

  • Mahousu

    It's all Obama's fault. If the economy had kept collapsing the way it was supposed to, they could have bought the capitol back for pennies on the dollar.

  • SaintRond

    I want to refer to her as a cunt, but she's so dried up she can't even make tears let alone be worthy of the great name that is the "C" word.

  • Beetagger

    Is it bulletproof?

  • BZ1

    can't they just lease (perhaps foreclose on) Brewer?

  • Let's make this article a little more accurate. It should say, "The crazy Republican men who tell Jan Brewer what to do have now told her that they changed their minds about wanting her to sell the state capital buildings and she should buy them back."

    Jan is, indeed, a teabagger loon, but she doesn't have enough brain power under that wig-hat to have thought this up in the first place, let alone decided that now is the time to reverse it. She also didn't think up 1070 or any of the lawsuits that Arizona is filing against the Federal government. In fact, she's proven repeatedly that she doesn't even know what those lawsuits say.

    She takes dictation from a bunch of Evangelical and Mormon wingnuts from Mesa and Gilbert; the Correctional Corporation of America and Management and Training Corp., companies that run the private prisons that are becoming Arizona's greatest growth industry; and the NRA.

  • Warpde

    Should just tell them to keep the damn things Jan.
    Call it even
    Nothing but crap comes out of them anyway.

  • OldRedneck

    Do you suppose the people who stand to make the $24 million profit are big donors to her campaign?

  • Negropolis

    If they really want cost savings, they'd outsource the legislature, executive, and judiciary to some other state or nation.

  • PsycWench

    Yet another example of pissing on Arizona's leg and telling it that it struck oil.

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