Retired Cuban dictator and longtime U.S.-affairs pundit Fidel Castro has just totally had it with this smarmy, smooth-talking Nobama dude, so in a surprise move he took to his weekly column in Granma to declare his support for, uh, the “robot” candidate. WILL THIS HURT MITT ROMNEY IN FLORIDA?
“Isn’t the worst part that there isn’t even a robot in the White House who could run the U.S. and prevent a war that would end our species?” Castro asked in his column.
Castro then argued that 90 percent of Americans would vote for the robot over any current candidate.
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Let's send Mitt down to Gitmo to accept this accolade.
After all, he is a clear threat to Obama…
Watch out Fidel, we gave Hugo Chavez cancer for pissing us off. Unless you would like a scorching case of herpes, you'd best be quiet. Wait, it can't be herpes, Sarah Palin is going to be at CPAC that week. Damn!
We can always send Fidel Paris Hilton.
Nah, they probably have a cure for chlamydia in Cuba.
Hookworm libel?
Let's see, I would certainly welcome a Presidency by Data or Optimus Prime (or hell, even Rodimus), but don't know if I'd trust C-3PO or V.I.C.I. to handle the responsibility, and Ultron with his platform of "destroy humanity" is right out.
If it's a "bot" you want, why not a Soros-bot?
SorosBot/ Romney in '12!
I know…just think of it as life insurance…nobody really wants Willard.
I nominate Colossus.
Edit: Oops. I was late to the party.
How about GLaDOS?
Potatoes are traditionally Irish, you monster.
Castro is not paying attention. 26% of the population is batshit, the OTHER 74% will vote for the robot over a conservative.
Needs more "Colossus, the Forbin Project".
This is good news for Sir Frothalot.
On a related note, "My Living Doll" is finally getting a dvd release.
Only someone living in a third-world country could have such faith in robots.
I am sure Fidel's idea sounded better in Spanish.
"You mean Cuban."
H. Cain
Man, how old is his Granma?
Bender – Crow T Robot 2012!
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One likes stealing things, one likes bad movies. The perfect team.
These are not the droids you are looking for.
Fidel, baby, up here we call robots "drones."
or "Stepford Wives."
Isn't Fidel due for a stint on DWTS next season? He's got the crazy, but does he have the smoove mooves?
there isn’t even a robot in the White House who could run the U.S. and prevent a war that would end our species?”
I'm surprised he didn't just opine for an Uber-Bot that "could end the U.S.'s brand of our species, and thus prevent a war."
R2-D2/C-3PO 2012!
Why is Fidel Castro endorsing Skynet?
Déjà vu! I swear Al must have been channeling Fidel last night on MSNBC.
Then I pressed mute, and he quickly grew quiet.
It won't be more than twelve hours before Newt buys twenty million dollars of "Mitt Romney: Vulture Communist Robot" ads in the south Florida market, featuring digitally reimagined stills of Mitt and Fidel shirtless on a beach, each lighting the other's cigar with a burning miniature American flag.
Fidel Castro: Comrads, our nation is completely bankrupt! We have no choice but to abandon communism!
Castro's Aide #1, Castro's Associates: sigh
Fidel Castro: I know, I know, I know… but we all knew from day one this mumbo jumbo wouldn't fly! I'll call Washington and tell them they won.
Castro's Aide #1: But presidente, America tried to kill you!
Fidel Castro: Ah, they're not so bad. They even named a street after me in San Francisco!
[Aide #2 whispers something into his ear]
Fidel Castro: It's full of what?
True facts: Fidel's niece (Raul's daughter) is a gay rights activist.
That's actually pretty striking news, especially since Fidel's regime was particularly not gay-friendly.
Yeah, I think Fidel's a bit embarrassed by all that now: http://links.org.au/node/2671
Not so sure about your source. The Village Voice has traditionally been a haven for druggies and the gheys and is not reputed for accuracy in reporting. I trust them for stuff that happens below 14th Street, but not much else.
Still more reliable than FOX.
Fidel Castro is ghey???
Fidel is just being loyal to Mitt, an undoubtedly very big Cuban cigar customer during his stint at Bain. Yeah, yeah, Mitt's Mormon, but business is business.
I've always been afraid of clowns and carrots, now I get to add Cuban Cylons to the list.
I thought a young lady like you would be partial to Nubian nylons myself.
How do you say "frackin' toaster" in Spanish?
Binary solo!
0000001, 00000011
000000111, 00001111
0000001, 00000011
000000111, 00001111
I come from the same town as Flight of the Conchords and I'm still pissed off that those guys got a record deal and a TV show first.
Gee, I didn't know you were from Australia.
I've recently wondered what it'd be like to have an A.I. adviser, maybe even a bunch like a fourth branch of government. Would that give us more level-headed opinions, or just a different flavor of batshit insanity?
Wake me up when the election is over, I'll be dreaming of electric sheep in the meantime.
I love me some Philip K. Dick references!
It was either that or a Portal reference.
GLaDOS/Wheatly 2012, btw.
A rather penetrating if not starchy insight if I do say so myself.
Fidel fundamentally misunderstands our system of government — if a robot could run this country, the GOP would've outlawed robots a long time ago.
He may be the only adult in the world who has never seen "The Matrix".
I think I saw "The Matrix". But they gave me this pill and
Even half dead, FC is a clearer thinker than any Republican candidate.
The sad part is that he's right. If the Cuban Missile Crisis happened today or even in the last 15 years, we wouldn't be here to gripe about the deterioration of politics.
Assuming the robot was fully functional, and design to fulfil human…., urges. Hell, yes, I would vote for it.
He romanticizes robots because while all the robots in Cuba are from the 40s and 50s, they are in mint condition.
Just for the record, this "Granma" is NOT Mrs. proudgrampa.
Soon Cherry 2000 will present Mitt with his own Gennifer Flowers situation.
Castro's fondness for robots explains all those Spanish-language numbers stations he's still operating.
Fidel Castro's endorsement does carry more weight than Todd Palin's.
Although nowhere near as much as Chris Christie's.
pastel de infinito, de hecho
Speaking of robots, Intense Debate seems to be blowing circuits today.
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OK, which ones of you are actually NSA software programs spamming the internet? We just had a most amusing conspiracy theories spam in last night's election thread; this is hilariously insane:
"Truth be told. Unelected officials have taken over Washington and are orchestrating the daily news. 90% of the comments and replies you're reading online come from an NSA software program spamming the internet. Comments are created before the stories are ever reported. The oldest, first, highest, best, and most popular rated comments are all propaganda. They are conducting Psy-ops (psychological operations) for domestic spying. They have 1000's of handles and are determined to bury the truth and attack anyone leaking it.
The next election is shaping up to be as big of a sham as the last. Do you know why Sarah Palin's bus tour was really canceled? Do you know why she stayed 30 miles away from the second debate and chose the death of Steve Jobs to announce that she's not running? Know what leaked out? Sarah Palin and Cain aren't in the race for the same reason, the truth leaked out. "
I am not a robot.
An NSA robot would say that…
Error: Unexpected input format. Please restart.
So Barb is actually an operative for NSA? I knew she was too good to be true …
So Cain was nailin' Palin?
"You want a job, don't you?"
We NSA robots don't comment. We just listen and record everything you say and figure out who you are and where you live. This information is vital to the War on Terrorism(TM).
There's also a whole floor of us that does nothing but look at cute kitty and puppy photos searching for subversive content. I aspire to that job.
Somebody's just pissed he can't get a Realdoll.
(NSFW)
I, for one, welcome our silicone overlords with open arms (and a squeegee).
I bet the White House has at least one Roomba, which is a robot.
And I'm guessing does a lot better job than the Romney model, as far as getting dog hair out of the carpet…
Nomad and V'ger were robots, right?
I'm sorry, Mitt, I'm afraid I can't do that.
You've had a great run, Fidel- time to die.
I'm totally writing the treatment for Robama: The Robot President as soon as I get high and caffeinated enough.
First compañero Hugo declares that capitalism may have destroyed the Martian civilization, now compañero Fidel wants a robot president. This raises two questions. First, what in the hell is the ALBA Book Club reading? Obviously not The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, but still. Second, is Newt "moon base" Gingrich secretly part of their club? His wife is apparently a robot, so there's that.
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