GAY OLD PARTY  9:46 pm January 10, 2012

Gay Republicans — OPENLY Gay, We Mean — Very Pleased With Romney/Paul/Huntsman Three-Way

by Wonkette Jr.

While being an openly gay Republican seems about as sane as carrying a nail-studded two-by-four around so you can mutilate yourself on the half-hour, the “Log Cabin Republicans” continue to be an actual thing. And they have put out a statement about tonight’s exciting New Hampshire primary results. They’re quite pleased with the results!

“By adding a definitive victory in New Hampshire to his win in Iowa, Governor Mitt Romney has established himself as a candidate who can unite Republicans and a clear threat to Barack Obama in November,” said R. Clarke Cooper, Log Cabin Republicans Executive Director. “Governor Romney was consistently clear in the debates that he opposes discrimination based on sexual orientation. While he continues to support a constitutional amendment banning marriage equality – a position Log Cabin strongly opposes – he is also on record saying that such an amendment has been tried, rejected, and is unlikely to ever succeed. Romney has also taken a position that the repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ has been settled, and he would not seek to reinstitute the ban on open service.

“Congressman Ron Paul’s second place finish underscores New Hampshire’s commitment to the libertarian principles he has consistently championed, which include his votes against the anti-family Federal Marriage Amendment and for the repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’ Log Cabin Republicans are also pleased with the strong performance of Governor Jon Huntsman, a solid supporter of civil unions for same-sex couples and a candidate who frequently talked about the need for Americans to do more for gay rights.

So, compared to the likes of Perry, Bachmann and Santorum, the middle-of-the-road bigotry of Mitt Romney is a relief! [Log Cabin Republicans]

 
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{ 101 comments }

Barb January 10, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Perry is wanting to send troops back to Eye-Rack. Does he plan to fire all of the gay soldiers first?

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 10:35 pm

He'd have to, wouldn't he?

Dr_Zoidberg January 11, 2012 at 9:38 am

No, he'll just put them on the front line with no guns.

GOPCrusher January 11, 2012 at 3:20 pm

With targets on their backs.

the_problem_child January 10, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Yay! The candidates with the least hate of gays did okay! Never mind the others who hoovered up the homophobe votes.

Dashboard Buddha January 11, 2012 at 7:36 am

I believe you meant snorkeled up the homophobe vote.

GOPCrusher January 11, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Another reason for the Republiklan Base to search for the Not-Romney candidate.

BarackMyWorld January 10, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Fred Karger wants a piece of that action, but not the way you'd think.

user-of-owls January 10, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Ha ha, you said, "put out."

tribbzthesquidz January 11, 2012 at 12:51 am

and "Log."

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Yeah, they should certainly support Ron Paul's view that the federal government shouldn't oppress gay people, because that's the state governments' job.

user-of-owls January 10, 2012 at 9:59 pm

No, I think you've got it wrong. It's the private sector's job to batter gay people into a pulp.

It's called….Liberty.

FakaktaSouth January 10, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I think probably, really in spite of most Rs deeply, heinously wanting everything in the whole wide world to be bigoted, "the Market" has decided it likes gay money pretty good and since on the whole they've got more discretionary piles of the stuff than all the loser-breeders, well, ya know, do whatever, just spend.

Guppy January 10, 2012 at 10:20 pm

I thought it was called "Minnesota Forward."

Pres.VerminSupreme January 10, 2012 at 11:09 pm

And that tree needs some refreshin'. It ain't a-gonna refresh itself with tyrant blood, ya know.

iburl January 11, 2012 at 2:26 pm

If you don't like being imprisoned for co-habitating with a same-sex partner, when/if you get out of jail you can always just flee move to another state (until they pass their own hate-law, anyway).

ifthethunderdontgetya January 10, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Log Cabin Republicans

Too silly to even snark at.
~

user-of-owls January 10, 2012 at 9:56 pm

R. Clarke Cooper? Seriously?

I'm sorry, but that is just unacceptable as a gay man's name.

littlebigdaddy January 10, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Didn't he rob that airplane?

BaldarTFlagass January 11, 2012 at 9:06 am

The "R" stand for "Rocky," which is even less gay.

DaRooster January 11, 2012 at 10:42 am

"Rocki"

There ya go…

user-of-owls January 11, 2012 at 11:46 am

With a heart over the "i", right?

Jukesgrrl January 11, 2012 at 8:33 pm

How about Cooper Clarke?

Texan_Bulldog January 10, 2012 at 9:58 pm

So Clarke & his cabal are for Mitt, Ron & Jon just like all the other Republicans. Whoa–newsflash from State-the-Obvious-ville.

angerbear January 10, 2012 at 9:59 pm

So the only thing stopping Romney from running gays through a wood chipper is his fear of taking a potentially-controversial position on any issue? Well whoopdeedoo! Break out the champagne, Log Cabin Repubs–you've found yourselves a candidate!!!

smokefillednewyear January 10, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Log Cabin Republicans should just change their name to "We Hate Ourselves".

emmelemm January 11, 2012 at 12:59 am

Actually, a more accurate name would be "We Are Technically Homos, But We Have Money, And That Makes Us Just As Craven As Regular Republicans". Bit long, though.

PalinzADummy January 11, 2012 at 2:44 am

I'll admit to having gay Republican friends, but none of them are LCRs. I'd be forced to smack them unconscious if they ever sank that low.

emmelemm January 11, 2012 at 3:36 am

I will reply to this the only way I know how: with a semi-long, potentially convoluted story with possibly no point.

When I sold the previous condo I lived in, the buyer ended up being a guy who already lived in the same building (my condo was a bit nicer than his). He was very obviously gay. Although he lived nominally by himself (in a smallish one bedroom), I learned, through the sale process, that he had a significant other, who was actually putting up the money. (I don't know to what extent he lived/stayed with significant other at alternate, far ritzier digs – it was… confusing.) In any event, significant other was obviously very rich, a "businessman" – Fancy that!

I only met significant other because, since he was the one putting up the money, I took some papers over to his office for him to sign at one point. While I'm in his office, I see a picture on the wall of him, standing and smiling, with a prominent local Republican, at that time running for Governor of Washington. A loathesome creature. I was *surprised*, to say the least. Of course I didn't say anything, because, fuck, the guy's buying my house. But I was like, how on the Earth can a gay dude stand next to that walking bucket of slime and smile? The answer, of course, is money. Dude was a businessman, Repub candidate was a businessman in the same general area of business. Money. Dinero. Dollars. Almighty.

In a related related note, my best friend since childhood is half-black, half-white. Her black grandfather was a minor politician in his day… a Republican politician, that is. The one and only time I met him, when my friend and I were in D.C. together (where he lived), he had a picture of himself with George Bush the Elder, who had appointed him to some commission or other. All I could think was WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I just don't get throwing your lot in with people who CLEARLY FUCKING HATE YOU. No matter what crumbs they throw your way.

PalinzADummy January 11, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Some of them are just conservative because their families are conservative. It's the only thing they know and they're too set in their ways to change. Others claim they're doing it to "change the party from within." Not sure if I believe that. But yeah, there's definitely some level of denial and hypocrisy going on there.

GOPCrusher January 11, 2012 at 3:25 pm

See, Reagan Democrats.

vtxmcrider January 12, 2012 at 12:36 am

They have already shown substantial self-loathing by simply being Republicans in the first place.

BornInATrailer January 11, 2012 at 11:16 am

Loathe Cabin Republicans?

ShaveTheWhales January 11, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Self-Logging Republicans?

Geminisunmars January 11, 2012 at 3:09 pm

aka "WHO"

noodlesalad January 10, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Little known fact: Mitt Romney would have also gotten rid of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, as he doesn't need or want a specific reason to fire the gays. He just likes firing them without cause.

PalinzADummy January 11, 2012 at 2:45 am

They're *GAY,* noodlesalad. That's cause enough.

user-of-owls January 10, 2012 at 10:08 pm

he is also on record saying that such an amendment has been tried, rejected, and is unlikely to ever succeed.

Well I think the Log Cabin boyz are perfectly safe on this front, give Mitt's demonstrated, rock-solid commitment to sticking to his convictions, come what may.

Dr Ozark Hellbender January 10, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Uh, guys? Not to judge or anything, but I kind of question the wisdom of aligning yourself with a party which has a pretty significant percentage of members who WANT YOU DEAD.

I suppose maybe there were one or two Jewish members of the NSDAP…

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 10:44 pm

I don't know how much you know about the S&M/B&D community, but the one thing that really turned me off about it were the folks who were into role-playing Nazis and ConcentrationCampPrisoners. Kinda like watching The Night Porter x/c more fur realz. So, yeah. LCRs and Repigs.

Barb January 10, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Pat Buchanan is now blaming "militant gay groups" for his absence from MSNBC. Yeah, it has nothing to do with the fact that the shit doesn't fall far from the bat.

Dr Ozark Hellbender January 10, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Militant gay groups? I'd have thought he'd blame "cosmopolitan internationalists"…

Barb January 10, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Militant gay groups? The pink berets`?

littlebigdaddy January 10, 2012 at 10:49 pm

The fabulistas?

PocketsTheClown January 10, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Fun Patrol?

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 10:59 pm

I think the Jews, the Blacks and every other minority group Pat hates on might also have something to do with it. And good for them.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Color of Change campaign. Be sure to throw them a few shekels if you have any to spare, they do good work.

ShaveTheWhales January 10, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Barb, your way with words continues to astonish me.

Barb January 10, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Thanks!

Callyson January 11, 2012 at 1:25 am

So I should address the thank you card to "militant gay groups" then? OK, Pat, thanks for the info!

starfanglednut January 10, 2012 at 10:19 pm

May their logs be covered with santorum.

Guppy January 10, 2012 at 10:25 pm

I suspect that not even gay Republicans believe in using condoms.

Mumbletypeg January 10, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Gay Republicans — Openly Gay We Mean — Very Pleased

♫ "It's a hard-cock life/ For us/ It's a hard-cock life / For us!!"

starfanglednut January 10, 2012 at 10:27 pm

I once watched a documentary on logo that featured a gay republican who was going to hawaii for a wedding and was trying to find someone to go as his date. He met with a series of men, telling each of them he was a repub, and offering to take them to Hawaii. None of them would go with him.

littlebigdaddy January 10, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Log Cabin Republicans meet Jews for Jesus.

Limeylizzie January 10, 2012 at 10:38 pm

And working-class Monarchists.

littlebigdaddy January 10, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Yes, god bless those factory worker Tories.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Jesus never wanted to kill the Jews.

littlebigdaddy January 10, 2012 at 10:51 pm

But vice versa?

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Assuming there's any truth to the legend, only the Romans had the power of life and death in the states they ruled, IIRC. He could not have been put to death if his words had not been construed to imply treason to the Roman Empire. So, no.

littlebigdaddy January 10, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Biggus Dickus libel!

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Well we can watch the documentary footage then…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-lp0E0mkIE&fe

flamingpdog January 11, 2012 at 2:32 am

According to one of the books I've read by Biblical scholar Bart Ehrman, Pontius Pilate was such a vicious sociopath that the Emperor finally had to remove him office in Judea because he was creating more unrest than he was suppressing. He is recorded as being not such a nice guy in other outposts he served at as well.

GOPCrusher January 11, 2012 at 3:29 pm

AFSCME Members in Support of Scott Walker

Boojum_Reborn January 15, 2012 at 8:47 am

LDS LGBT

pinkocommi January 10, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Being gay is cool. But being Republican is just embarrassing.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 10:45 pm

The LCRs make us gay folk ashamed to belong to the same minority that they do.

flamingpdog January 11, 2012 at 2:36 am

LOL, true story. When my youngest son came out last year and told me his friend was thinking of running for office, I asked my son if his friend was a Democrat because I could accept him if he were gay but there would be no way I could accept him if he were a Republican!

PalinzADummy January 11, 2012 at 2:41 am

Did he give you the "ZOMG DAD" eyeroll? My partner's teenage daughter is very good at this. So good that I'm expecting her to sprain an eyeball any day now.

ttommyunger January 10, 2012 at 11:29 pm

I'm convinced the Log Cabin Republicans are just the S&M Wing of teh gheys. In other words, they get off by being abused, debased and punished. Sad.

PalinzADummy January 11, 2012 at 2:41 am

ZOMG!

GOPCrusher January 11, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Kind of like the 4 members of the Republiklan African-American Caucus.

ttommyunger January 11, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Does that count Thomas Sowell?

CapnFatback January 10, 2012 at 11:31 pm

While he continues to support a constitutional amendment banning marriage equality – a position Log Cabin strongly opposes – he is also on record saying that such an amendment has been tried, rejected, and is unlikely to ever succeed.

Well, accepting a hateful law's guaranteed failure is just as good as opposing it in my book! Let's just put this in our Analogy Convertron 3000, shall we, and see what we get?

Doop de doo . . .ah, here comes the printout . . . Gadzooks, I don't know why we haven't upgraded from the dot matrix. Anyhoo, here we go:

"While he continues to support a constitutional amendment banning interracial marriages – a position the National Black Republican Association strongly opposes – he is also on record saying that such an amendment has been tried, rejected, and is unlikely to ever succeed."

"While he continues to support a constitutional amendment banning immigration from Mexico – a position the Republican National Hispanic Assembly strongly opposes – he is also on record saying that such an amendment has been tried, rejected, and is unlikely to ever succeed."

"While he continues to support a constitutional amendment banning non-Christian religions – a position the Republican Jewish Coalition strongly opposes – he is also on record saying that such an amendment has been tried . . ."

*flipping pages*

Hoo boy. It goes on like this.

Negropolis January 11, 2012 at 12:44 am

You want to know the very worst thing about the Log Cabin Republicans? Their smugness in defense of the indefensible with people that hate them. Hell, believe whatever you want, but I could do without the "we are superior to other voters, because we're not single issue voters" bullshit. They seem completely oblivious to the fact that the joke is on them. How are you going to support a party which officially doesn't even view you as equal, first class citizen, and in fact and even more important given that neither party is perfect, who seek to keep you as lesser Americans? Yeah, besides that, Mrs. Lincoln…?

chicken_thief January 11, 2012 at 12:44 am

A three way with three bottoms?! Puh-leeze. Needs more Santorum.

Callyson January 11, 2012 at 1:22 am

Meanwhile, the poll on the right hand side of this post asked my opinion of Mittens.
I took great pleasure in clicking "I don't know who that is."
What? With all of his flip flops, I have no idea who the hell Mitt Romney is…

PalinzADummy January 11, 2012 at 2:42 am

True. (laughs self sick)

SudsMcKenzie January 11, 2012 at 1:54 am

And, they all agreed, Huntsman has the best beard.

Sharkey January 11, 2012 at 1:37 pm

…Now that Bachmann's dropped out.

DaRooster January 11, 2012 at 8:30 am

Those Log Cabin folks are gay…

… and dumb.

ingloriousbytch January 11, 2012 at 8:38 am

Nothing's decided until the black members of the Aryan Resistance weigh in.

Allmighty_Manos January 11, 2012 at 9:02 am

Yeah, wait until they get to South Carolina.

BaldarTFlagass January 11, 2012 at 9:11 am

I'm sorry, but being a gay Republican is like being a member of "Hebrews for Hitler." It just makes no fucking sense at all.

OneYieldRegular January 11, 2012 at 9:20 am

Aren't these Log Cabin people essentially displaying the same psychology as victims of domestic violence who are in denial? Shouldn't they be getting some therapy, or at least a restraining order?

Also, Ron F-ing Paul? Are you kidding? Did they not even bother to watch "Bruno"?

kissawookiee January 11, 2012 at 9:58 am

Given his druthers, he'd have us all strung up AND garrotted AND assfucked sideways with a chainsaw, as an ironic commentary on teh buttsecks (and the ironic commentary!) we all love so much. But he said there's not much of a chance he'll actually be *allowed* to do that, so we're totally cool!

neiltheblaze January 11, 2012 at 10:02 am

Stockholm Syndrome in action.

Steverino247 January 11, 2012 at 11:04 am

"Governor Mitt Romney has established himself as a candidate who can unite Republicans and a clear threat to Barack Obama in November…"

So, Mitt Romulan is a clear threat to Barack Obama? Call the Secret Service!!!

poorgradstudent January 11, 2012 at 12:21 pm

To be fair, they recognize in Romney one of their own. By that I mean an individual pathologically incapable of having any principles more sophisticated than "As long as I got mine."

Jukesgrrl January 11, 2012 at 8:37 pm

I agree. I know a Log Cabin Republican and the only things in the world he cares about are his expensive pedigreed dog and his financial portfolio (yes, he uses terms like that even with people he knows don't have this month's rent). Sex is maybe a fourth interest behind shopping. "I got mine" should be carved over his front door.

Boojum_Reborn January 15, 2012 at 8:53 am

I read that as "with people who know he doesn't have this month's rent.". It was both funnier and more pathetic that way, somehow.

arihaya January 14, 2012 at 5:25 pm

true story: there was a group called "Muslims for Bush" that supported Dubya in 2000

but after its turn out that Bush presidency was a massive catastrophe, the group folded and now become non-partisan "Muslims for America",

PalinzADummy January 11, 2012 at 12:21 am

The hats!

PalinzADummy January 11, 2012 at 2:39 am

Very interesting. Royal sociopaths were, so to speak, all the rage in Biblical times, weren't they? Although the very state of royalty itself encourages the breeding of psychopathy, I suppose. Do you recommend the book? Surely you read it for some purpose other than the discovery of Pilate's psychological ills?

Geminisunmars January 11, 2012 at 2:17 pm

True equality means that people are strange, regardless of their race, gender, or sexual orientation.

ShaveTheWhales January 11, 2012 at 8:05 pm

And, before that, Nixon Democrats.

PalinzADummy January 11, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Aiyo.

Geminisunmars January 11, 2012 at 10:18 pm

So your response means “Mandarin Chinese expression of pain” (from urbandictionary)?

PalinzADummy January 11, 2012 at 10:33 pm

You're on to me, now, aren't you? Never again will I be able to indulge in a careless moment of multilinguality without understanding and response?

Busted.

Geminisunmars January 11, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Um, oy.

PalinzADummy January 11, 2012 at 11:05 pm

*Never* at a loss for a clever riposte!

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