frothy mix

Fancy New Yorker Magazine Won’t Print Definition of Santorum, But Prints ‘Anal Rapists For Bush’

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It’s an election season, so the generally readable New Yorker has made its quadrennial mutation into a presidential campaign magazine, which is boring. Also, the magazine has finally delved into the deeply rewarding tale of how Dan Savage turned “Santorum” into the name for the “frothy mix of lube and fecal matter” used to make McDonaldland anusburgers, or whatever.

The New Yorker, however, will not print the definition, because it is allegedly “unprintable” — a lie, because we just printed it out right here on our crappy laser printer that came free with a microwave. The haughty magazine will, however, print “Anal Rapists for Bush.” But it’s in the form of a quote, from the guy who managed the Bush/Cheney 2004 online campaign. And he’s obviously talking about a stunt launched by Wonkette:

Anal Rapists for Christ.[New Yorker via Juli Weiner]

About the author

Wonkette Jr., everybody! Hooray!

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Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    Needs more Charles Addams cartoons.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Everything needs more Charles Addams cartoons.

  • Barb

    Anal rapist? More back door takeovers for Romney. Pink slips for everyone!

    • poncho_pilot

      more like pink socks…

  • Barb

    Oh crap! Wonkette is a "liberal blog?" I'm outta here!

    • FNMA

      Really? I thought it was a blog dedicated to butt sex. And santorum…

      • Guppy

        What could possibly be of higher liberal value than squirming around in excrement?

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      It's the answer to your avatar's question. This is where your handbasket has guided you. We have arrived — wonkette is shown for its true colors in the harsh glare of an eleetist publication's attempt to pimp out our most tawdry and salacious offerings.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I cam here because Wonkette was a war blog.

      And the buttsex.

      And the gin.

      And the pot.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Really, there are no other reasons, are there?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Worse yet. It's festering with worthy skum.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      I thought it was an analomous injective.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    Is there a caption contest for the article?

    "The New Yorker is an analyst and a therapist…"

  • BarackMyWorld

    Santorum should hire Dr. Tobias Funke, former analyst/therapist or…"analrapist", as his adviser on medical issues/acting coaches.

    • spends2much

      I believe Dr. Funke was arrested for handing out his business cards :)

  • SorosBot

    Truly one of Wonkette's finer moments.

  • James Michael Curley

    Ah! Those were the days when Wonkette herself would graphically delineate just how far down the bulge in John Kerry's trousers went.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    If I had known that the anal rapists were for Bush back in 04, I might have considered voting for him.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Anal rapists for bush–sounds like they can't make up their minds!

  • DaRooster

    I will bet there are actual Anal Rapists for Santorum.

    • littlebigdaddy

      But do rapists use lube?

      • Loaded_Pants

        The considerate ones do.

        • DaRooster

          And the quicker slicker ones.

  • DaRooster

    Ew… you people are Liberals?!?

  • littlebigdaddy

    I am so proud to have helped achieve the coarsening of American political discourse!

    • jus_wonderin

      That excites me, for some reason.

    • comrad_darkness

      No small challenge, that.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Santorum is like the weather — everybody talks about it, but nobody wants to tell anyone that it's the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is frequently the result of anal intercourse.

    • MissTaken

      Just like the weather, Santorum impacts everyone but you really want to avoid talking about it on a first date.

      • Steverino247

        Take it from MissTaken, our Wonkette Dating Expert!

        Seriously, can you imagine somebody bringing up frothy mixtures of lube and fecal matter that is frequently the result fo anal intercourse on a first date? Unless, of course, you met on http://www.eSantorum.com.

        • SorosBot

          You're not supposed to have the anal sex until the second date!

          • MissTaken

            NOW YOU TELL ME??

          • SorosBot

            I thought you, Wonkette's sex expert (or sexpert) already knew!

          • jus_wonderin

            "But Sweetie, you know I am shipping out before we can have a second date. Do it for the troops, please?"

          • Loaded_Pants

            This one's good, too: "You know, it's my birthday…"

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          No such place, you terrible person.

          Well, of COURSE I clicked. WTF do you think I am, man?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Yamamoto here. I onry read this because I rike Cialias, and I hear you have three month erections, not just four hour.

    • Steverino247

      You been here four owa! You fuck like Killa whale!

      • elviouslyqueer

        Despite fact that you got little dingaling.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I bet Eustace Tilley already knows what Santorum is.

  • freakishlywrong

    Wonkett was also mentioned regarding the latest outrage about the imperial Obamas having a fancy Halloween party two years ago, during a recession and "covering it up". http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/political-animal
    Fuuuucck us, eh girlz?

  • MissTaken

    Remember when posters were funny and said "Anal Rapists For Bush" instead of the "Get That God Damned Black Man Outta My White House" posters of 2010?

    Good times those were.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Bush was ARINO anyway.

    • GregComlish

      ARYANINO

  • Steverino247

    There's a new product out, Santorum Lite!

    (All together now: "No shit?")

    • bagofmice

      Crossing the gender divide.

  • neiltheblaze

    Again, Liberal / Shmiberal – I just come here for the dick jokes. Or the Santorum jokes. Or a frothy mix of the two.

  • PsycWench

    That was eight years ago. Wonkette is a long-term instrument to be used cautiously.

    • jus_wonderin

      I guess this proves the theory that once it is on the Net is it forever. Which makes me wonder, were The Hanson's pre-Internet?

  • Indiepalin

    And the final Jeopardy answer is: "Santorum"

  • hagajim

    Doesn't anal rape lead to some sort of Santorum – I guess not if you don't lube, does spit count?

  • hagajim

    Apparently this man hasn't seen the hammering Barry has been taking from us MuthaSnarkers.

  • proudgrampa

    Huh? What is this post about, really?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    In defense of Wonkette, only half of the "Anal Rapist for Bush" posters came from people that frequent here. The rest came from Dick Cheney's staff.

    • jus_wonderin

      The last part is just screamin' for a Groucho sideways gaze, a tip of the cigar and a carefully crafted zinger!

  • veritass

    I'm going to hang that excerpt on my fridge.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Next to that C+ report card and the Vicodin prescription.

  • ttommyunger

    Is this an actual real magazine, on paper and everything? Weird!

    • http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/cheaphits/reviews cheaphits

      Yeah, they used to have those…they were big about when Nixon was prez.

      • ttommyunger

        Who knew, and why? Questions the NY'ers Publisher have prolly also been asking.

  • veritass

    Anal Rapists for Bush, or whatever.

    Great quote. Would love to hear more about this "or whatever" that he speaks of.

    • LesBontemps

      Dead giveaway that Bush/Cheney "online operations manager" Michael Turk was a Wonkette reader, and probably commenter.

  • KommunistKitty

    The New Yorker is totes cool with anal action so long as it's non-consensual.

  • fuflans

    our crappy laser printer that came free with a microwave

    where can i get that deal?

  • chascates

    This is what happens when you hire Tina Brown as editor. Harold Ross and William Shawn wrote about fecal matter all the time.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Baffling. Anal Rape and Santorum are intrinsically linked. They belong together. Sort of like the way Sterno belongs on Condaleeza Rice's feminine hygiene shelf.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Speaking of Wonkette In The News, last night's interview guest on Colbert was Bill Moyers, who quoted "a friend of mine" who said that "I''ll believe that corporations are people when Texas executes one."

    That line is apparently also on tee-shirts for sale somewhere.

    Did the line originate here? Was hollywooddood the perp? If so, we're proud of you, dood.

  • Negropolis

    Wait, we're a "liberal blog"? And here I was like some common fool thinking that this was a snarkblog.

  • OneYieldRegular

    And the inspirational excuses for drinking.

  • flamingpdog

    And (sigh) Barb.