FROTHY MIX  1:51 pm January 10, 2012

Fancy New Yorker Magazine Won’t Print Definition of Santorum, But Prints ‘Anal Rapists For Bush’

by Wonkette Jr.

It’s an election season, so the generally readable New Yorker has made its quadrennial mutation into a presidential campaign magazine, which is boring. Also, the magazine has finally delved into the deeply rewarding tale of how Dan Savage turned “Santorum” into the name for the “frothy mix of lube and fecal matter” used to make McDonaldland anusburgers, or whatever.

The New Yorker, however, will not print the definition, because it is allegedly “unprintable” — a lie, because we just printed it out right here on our crappy laser printer that came free with a microwave. The haughty magazine will, however, print “Anal Rapists for Bush.” But it’s in the form of a quote, from the guy who managed the Bush/Cheney 2004 online campaign. And he’s obviously talking about a stunt launched by Wonkette:

Anal Rapists for Christ.[New Yorker via Juli Weiner]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 70 comments }

nounverb911 January 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Needs more Charles Addams cartoons.

OneYieldRegular January 10, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Everything needs more Charles Addams cartoons.

Barb January 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Anal rapist? More back door takeovers for Romney. Pink slips for everyone!

poncho_pilot January 10, 2012 at 2:58 pm

more like pink socks…

Barb January 10, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Oh crap! Wonkette is a "liberal blog?" I'm outta here!

FNMA January 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Really? I thought it was a blog dedicated to butt sex. And santorum…

Guppy January 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

What could possibly be of higher liberal value than squirming around in excrement?

Mumbletypeg January 10, 2012 at 2:01 pm

It's the answer to your avatar's question. This is where your handbasket has guided you. We have arrived — wonkette is shown for its true colors in the harsh glare of an eleetist publication's attempt to pimp out our most tawdry and salacious offerings.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 10, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I cam here because Wonkette was a war blog.

And the buttsex.

And the gin.

And the pot.

Loaded_Pants January 10, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Really, there are no other reasons, are there?

elviouslyqueer January 10, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Worse yet. It's festering with worthy skum.

ShaveTheWhales January 10, 2012 at 8:56 pm

I thought it was an analomous injective.

Gratuitous World January 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Is there a caption contest for the article?

"The New Yorker is an analyst and a therapist…"

BarackMyWorld January 10, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Santorum should hire Dr. Tobias Funke, former analyst/therapist or…"analrapist", as his adviser on medical issues/acting coaches.

spends2much January 10, 2012 at 8:31 pm

I believe Dr. Funke was arrested for handing out his business cards :)

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Truly one of Wonkette's finer moments.

James Michael Curley January 10, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Ah! Those were the days when Wonkette herself would graphically delineate just how far down the bulge in John Kerry's trousers went.

BaldarTFlagass January 10, 2012 at 2:06 pm

If I had known that the anal rapists were for Bush back in 04, I might have considered voting for him.

littlebigdaddy January 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Anal rapists for bush–sounds like they can't make up their minds!

DaRooster January 10, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I will bet there are actual Anal Rapists for Santorum.

littlebigdaddy January 10, 2012 at 2:12 pm

But do rapists use lube?

Loaded_Pants January 10, 2012 at 4:31 pm

The considerate ones do.

DaRooster January 10, 2012 at 8:20 pm

And the quicker slicker ones.

DaRooster January 10, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Ew… you people are Liberals?!?

littlebigdaddy January 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I am so proud to have helped achieve the coarsening of American political discourse!

jus_wonderin January 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

That excites me, for some reason.

comrad_darkness January 10, 2012 at 2:57 pm

No small challenge, that.

SayItWithWookies January 10, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Santorum is like the weather — everybody talks about it, but nobody wants to tell anyone that it's the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is frequently the result of anal intercourse.

MissTaken January 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Just like the weather, Santorum impacts everyone but you really want to avoid talking about it on a first date.

Steverino247 January 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Take it from MissTaken, our Wonkette Dating Expert!

Seriously, can you imagine somebody bringing up frothy mixtures of lube and fecal matter that is frequently the result fo anal intercourse on a first date? Unless, of course, you met on http://www.eSantorum.com.

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 2:47 pm

You're not supposed to have the anal sex until the second date!

MissTaken January 10, 2012 at 3:03 pm

NOW YOU TELL ME??

jus_wonderin January 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm

"But Sweetie, you know I am shipping out before we can have a second date. Do it for the troops, please?"

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 6:23 pm

No such place, you terrible person.

Well, of COURSE I clicked. WTF do you think I am, man?

EatsBabyDingos January 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Yamamoto here. I onry read this because I rike Cialias, and I hear you have three month erections, not just four hour.

Steverino247 January 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

You been here four owa! You fuck like Killa whale!

elviouslyqueer January 10, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Despite fact that you got little dingaling.

BaldarTFlagass January 10, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I bet Eustace Tilley already knows what Santorum is.

freakishlywrong January 10, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Wonkett was also mentioned regarding the latest outrage about the imperial Obamas having a fancy Halloween party two years ago, during a recession and "covering it up". http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/political-animal
Fuuuucck us, eh girlz?

MissTaken January 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Remember when posters were funny and said "Anal Rapists For Bush" instead of the "Get That God Damned Black Man Outta My White House" posters of 2010?

Good times those were.

Blueb4sunrise January 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Bush was ARINO anyway.

GregComlish January 10, 2012 at 7:37 pm

ARYANINO

Steverino247 January 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm

There's a new product out, Santorum Lite!

(All together now: "No shit?")

bagofmice January 10, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Crossing the gender divide.

neiltheblaze January 10, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Again, Liberal / Shmiberal – I just come here for the dick jokes. Or the Santorum jokes. Or a frothy mix of the two.

PsycWench January 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm

That was eight years ago. Wonkette is a long-term instrument to be used cautiously.

jus_wonderin January 10, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I guess this proves the theory that once it is on the Net is it forever. Which makes me wonder, were The Hanson's pre-Internet?

Indiepalin January 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

And the final Jeopardy answer is: "Santorum"

hagajim January 10, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Doesn't anal rape lead to some sort of Santorum – I guess not if you don't lube, does spit count?

hagajim January 10, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Apparently this man hasn't seen the hammering Barry has been taking from us MuthaSnarkers.

proudgrampa January 10, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Huh? What is this post about, really?

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 10, 2012 at 3:00 pm

In defense of Wonkette, only half of the "Anal Rapist for Bush" posters came from people that frequent here. The rest came from Dick Cheney's staff.

jus_wonderin January 10, 2012 at 3:07 pm

The last part is just screamin' for a Groucho sideways gaze, a tip of the cigar and a carefully crafted zinger!

veritass January 10, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I'm going to hang that excerpt on my fridge.

Fare la Volpe January 10, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Next to that C+ report card and the Vicodin prescription.

ttommyunger January 10, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Is this an actual real magazine, on paper and everything? Weird!

cheaphits January 10, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Yeah, they used to have those…they were big about when Nixon was prez.

ttommyunger January 10, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Who knew, and why? Questions the NY'ers Publisher have prolly also been asking.

veritass January 10, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Anal Rapists for Bush, or whatever.

Great quote. Would love to hear more about this "or whatever" that he speaks of.

LesBontemps January 11, 2012 at 10:42 am

Dead giveaway that Bush/Cheney "online operations manager" Michael Turk was a Wonkette reader, and probably commenter.

KommunistKitty January 10, 2012 at 5:31 pm

The New Yorker is totes cool with anal action so long as it's non-consensual.

fuflans January 10, 2012 at 5:46 pm

our crappy laser printer that came free with a microwave

where can i get that deal?

chascates January 10, 2012 at 6:01 pm

This is what happens when you hire Tina Brown as editor. Harold Ross and William Shawn wrote about fecal matter all the time.

mrblifil January 10, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Baffling. Anal Rape and Santorum are intrinsically linked. They belong together. Sort of like the way Sterno belongs on Condaleeza Rice's feminine hygiene shelf.

Spurning Beer January 11, 2012 at 8:29 am

Speaking of Wonkette In The News, last night's interview guest on Colbert was Bill Moyers, who quoted "a friend of mine" who said that "I''ll believe that corporations are people when Texas executes one."

That line is apparently also on tee-shirts for sale somewhere.

Did the line originate here? Was hollywooddood the perp? If so, we're proud of you, dood.

Negropolis January 13, 2012 at 1:53 am

Wait, we're a "liberal blog"? And here I was like some common fool thinking that this was a snarkblog.

OneYieldRegular January 10, 2012 at 3:02 pm

And the inspirational excuses for drinking.

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I thought you, Wonkette's sex expert (or sexpert) already knew!

flamingpdog January 10, 2012 at 4:02 pm

And (sigh) Barb.

Loaded_Pants January 10, 2012 at 4:33 pm

This one's good, too: "You know, it's my birthday…"

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