In a quite unfunny Republican lavatory phenomenon, relatively speaking, the New Jersey Assembly’s Republican leader Alex DeCroce, 75, was found dead Monday night in a bathroom in the New Jersey Statehouse. Eerily, Monday was the last day of the State Legislature’s current session. The cause of death is unclear. DeCroce, who was an early supporter of Governor Chris Christie, was found at about 11PM, and was treated by Assemblyman Herb Conaway, who’s also a doctor, but to no avail.
The death has apparently thrown the Assembly into disarray, resulting in a cancelled organizational meeting scheduled for today and prompting Christie to postpone his annual State of the State address. Instead of that address, Christie, who broke down last night after announcing DeCroce’s death, plans to give a speech in DeCroce’s honor.
DeCroce joined the Assembly in 1989 and became the highest-ranking Republican there in 2003. Christie described De Croce as “a dear friend, colleague and mentor” who “helped to give me my start in elective politics in Morris County in 1993.” [PhillyBurbs]
{ 126 comments }
He died after entering after Christie exited, newspaper under arm, toilet paper stuck to his shoe.
Lack of oxygen?
Lit a match. That's all she wrote.
Trailing an enormous dark cloud …
Methane's a helluva drug.
Larry Craig haz a sad.
Those death panels much more effective in Joisey now that they are run by the Soprano's.
Al DeCroce sleeps with the fishes.
"Elvis Death" is not what I want in my obituary.
About the only thing more embarrassing would be "Michael Hutchence / David Carradine Death".
"He died doing what he loved." Just like Reverend Gary Aldridge.
Is that the guy with the two wetsuits and the condom-covered dildo/buttplug?
Indeed it is. Had to look it up to make sure, though.
"Mama Cass Death" is pretty embarassing, too.
Had Cass just given Karen Carpenter half that sammich, they would both be still alive today.
Oh, you are jut AWFUL, sometimes!
Oh, that was so bad, Barb. So bad.
The autopsy will be much more telling than the obituary.
Must. Refrain. From. Gay. Sex. Joke.
Aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!
No, come on.
"The cause of death is unclear. " I'm gonna guess because the dude was effing 75 years old.
Hey, shut up! My dad is 78!
I just wanna point out that my grandma finally popped her clogs at age 96. Dad made it to 92 or 93, although Mom's sweet tooth is responsible for sending her to an early grave at 83. 75 is YOUNG, comparatively.
Too w i d e of a stance?
Too wide a stance cuts off the blood supply to any asshole.
DeCroce was a &^%$*#$ ^&% (* &^#@!$ – therefore I have no comment.
Well, young man. I can see you were raised right — if you can't say something nice about someone, it's better to say nothing at all!
I prefer Alice Roosevelt's version: If you can't say something nice about someone, come sit by me. And dish, baby.
Won't you tell us *why*? Other than the fact that he's responsible for the asshole that ate NJ, I mean.
Rx pain meds cause constipation, his old heart just couldn't stand the strain.
What? It would be irresponsible not to speculate!
Also, term limits would've prevented this embarrassing end to an otherwise
illustriousmediocre career.Wet suit suffocation?
Choked on__________?
Slipped on some Santorum?
Viagra overdose?
Tried to keep up with Christie at an all you can eat buffet?
Forgot the safe word?
Refuses to learn Spanish, e.g., "piso mojado".
He left behind a wife, two kids, and a floater.
This gem merits a passing grade.
"Christie, who broke down last night after announcing DeCroce’s death…"
Yes, he was so distraught that he could barely touch his second turducken.
I thought he needed assistance to touch any kind of turd.
“He helped to give me my start in elective politics in Morris County in 1993.” Christie said.
Thanks a lot Ass-wipe!
Looks like Christie is consolidating his power.
Obvsly, Obama's fault.
I was going to add "Release the Cracken" at the end of the post, but clearly I didn't need to. Crackens abound!
It's all very classy around here.
You have learned the First Rule of Wonketeering: Let the commenters make the offensive remarks Ken would have to put YOU on probation for. aka the Steuf Rule.
You will probably wish for a smaller Cracken…
Thanks to Christie, the helicopter wasn't available to transport Alex to the medical center. Christie used it to get from the building to his car.
I really liked the song Bad Bad Leroy Brown…
Its a sad day.
Sorry, same reference to Jim below. Didn't see yours.
I still fisted it… Great Minds and all that…
Are you drunk too?
“a dear friend, colleague and mentor” who “helped to give me my start in elective politics in Morris County in 1993.”
These days anyone Chris Cristy puts his weight behind will, undoubtedly, make it all the way to the White House. Come to think of it, anyone he puts his weight behind would make it all the way to Alpha Centauri.
Seriously though, Cristy is so fat that when he walks he makes the record skip, at the radio station. He's so fucking fat that the alligator on his shirt is real. He's so goddamn fat that when he sat on a rainbow, and I'm not joking here, Skittles shot out. He's so fucking fat that he was born with a silver shovel in his mouth. He's so fat that when his staff told him they wanted pigs in a blanket for breakfast, he jumped into bed. He's so goddamn fat that smaller fat guys have been known to orbit around him. He's so goddamn fat that when he gets on an elevator, it has to go down. He's so goddamn fat… He's so goddamn fat… He's so… He's so… Oh, Jesus, I made myself sick. I can't go on.
Your efforts have not gone unappreciated, if that's any comfort. I especially liked the silver shovel one.
He is so fat, they took him to the beach to sell shade, he is so fat, while standing on a street corner, the cops came by and told him to break it up and go home. He's so fat, when he goes to a restaurant and the waiter asks if he wants a menu, his wife just asks for an estimate. He's so fat…I can't go on.
I learned it at the Comedy Madrasah. I can go on for months. Literally.
I hope that chubby chasing motherfucker has to stay locked up in a bathroom for all eternity. Because if I didn't think there was a place of eternal torment when some of those ratbags kick it, I couldn't get out of bed in the morning.
Rest assured, our very own Biel_ze_Bubba probably has it all taken care of. (If I didn't believe this, I'd go insane. Srsly.)
DeCroce Croaks in Crapper
Man, I was hoping we'd see Christie crying over getting tossed out of office, not someone's death.
Going…going…gone.
I see what you did there!
I loved his "Time in a Bottle" but didn't he already die once, a long time ago?
He wasn't found in the bathroom until 11:00 P.M.? Good thing Newt wasn't in charge or he wouldn't have been found until the first school bell of the day by a 4th grade janitor.
Sometimes 75 year old people die. Just like that. One second they're alive, next second they're dead. Can't explain it.
I believe it is law in New Jersey to include the words passing and obstruction in the obituary of any Republican politician who dies in the bathroom.
Don't Squeeze the Charmin!!
The dreaded Whipple Mafia??
He OD'd. On pie.
He died doing what he loved?
(At least according to some of that age I've known, their number one pleasure is a good number two.)
Poop libel!
"The cause of death is unclear."
He found was wearing only a neoprene wetsuit and was surrounded by dozens of used amyl nitrite "poppers".
Like to snark it. Tried to snark it. Just can't do it.
I'm getting old and may be found dead in a bathroom any day now myself.
I agree. Can we talk about porn instead?
Oh, ntD, you are *such* a comfort to the elderly!
Attention-hog Christie, everything has to be about him, he has to be the bride at every wedding, and the corpse at every funeral.
If only that last part were true!
Being found face down in a puddle of strangers' pee is no way to die, son.
He's in a better place. A place of infinite pie.
THIS is why we women always go to the bathroom in pairs.
And here I thought it was so you can talk about that secret lady-stuff that you won't talk about in front of the menfolk.
That's what we tell all you menfolk to keep you on your toes. Or MAYBE I'm just saying that…hmm
I never know what to believe about women's bathrooms. Like, do some of them really have couches and shit, or are ladies just making that up to make us men jealous? It's all a mystery.
You should be jealous. Often there are couches and hairspray and breath mints. This is why if you are going to have bathroom sex, have it in the ladies room. Much more civilized.
Eunuchs, waving palm fronds. I'm sure of it. They make sachets in their spare time.
I hate to disagree. Based upon the movies they show late night on Cinemax, it is to have hot lesbian sex.
No, it's in case we croak on the crapper. The hot lesbian sex is just the creme on the infinite pie.
But… what if you kick the bucket during the lezbo sexytime action in the john?
One would think that lesbian sex would mean avoiding cream pies altogether.
I thought you did it to scare the crap out of Bachmann.
The Ron Paultardz are convinced that makes you SHEEEEEPLE!
That were good, MissTaken; that were real gud.
I would think that falling out anywhere near Christie would result in you being eaten by Fat Santa.
they found him with bits missing and bite marks, didn't they?
Requiem aeternam dona ei etc I suppose.
The building had an emergency evacuation following the fatal evacuation.
To be honest, I'd much rather go out like John Entwistle, dying in my sleep of a heart attack after spending a booze-filled night with a stripper and an eight ball of coke.
Whiskey man's my friend he's with me nearly all the time
Now that's a party!
Perfect fucking way to go.
Apparently the main reason the Who kept touring for all those years was that Roger and Pete needed to help John with his hookers 'n' blow bills.
Not to talk ill about the dead (haha, who am I kidding?!), but why is he about to fellate that microphone? I thought that's what you do to teleprompters?
Had the body been nibbled on? If not, then Christie is probably in the clear.
The saddest headline since "Sophomore Dies in Kiln Explosion"
"Can you get dates for my three friends, too?"
Let's pray this was not due to foul play.
Perhaps foul smell?
Or Fowl Play…
75 year old in a bathroom at 11pm, what's wrong with this picture? Or rather, how many dirty needles and bags of dope were there too?
Two questions – 1. Is this a harbinger of Christie's near future; and 2. Did he die with a wide stance?
OK, where's Denby?
Screw you guys. You took all the wide stance jokes while I was eating lunch.
No kidding. Assholes!!
" Hey, this stall is taken"," Come on Chris" Hey" Hey" " OHHHHHH"…… Death Where is thy sting!
I smell a manslaughter charge. Apparently Decroce did not wait 45 minutes after Christie was done pooping his Fiat-sized turds.
Well, if I were one of those conspiracy tracking folks, you could tell what my politics were by which thing I was more concerned with here. The fact that the "lame stream media" is only reporting this to embarrass a conservative, or if I were among the sane, the fact that they left out the dead gay hooker laying next to him.
What do you call a Republican found dead in a NJ Statehouse men's room?
A GOOD START!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well of course he keeled over. That's what happens when your stance isn't wide enough.
Some Dulcolax could have prevented a stroke.
You should not make fun of this. It happened just two stalls away from me!
Fitting requiem: "Republican Croaks in Crapper, Christie Cracks Up". You're welcome.
Oliver North and Albert Hakim were nowhere near there, so don't even start!
Christie…plans to give a speech in DeCroce’s honor and then eat the deceased.
No one should die in a bathroom.
Sad, each being exits on the Creator's timeline, now, saving every bit of snark for some other time…but chomping at the bit.
At least he was in his happy place.
The family pilgrimages will be touching. We can look forward to his grandchildren tying plastic flowers and teddy bears to the stall door every January 9th.
What, too soon? Okay, January 10th!
I thought it was a Joisey tradition for ole Gabagools to die on the crapper.
Yeah, but a guy in a ladies' room would be more likely to be "beaten while resisting arrest" than the other way around.
What a splendid idea! What are the odds of being shot to death with one's pants off, tho?
Sheesh, what a story! Imagine coming home from Christian Yoof Camp only to find dear old Dad dangling like a pendant fruit from the chandelier, or whatever MacRorty was using for a gallows! And double-suited, too.
Comments on this entry are closed.