HYPETTY HYPE HYPE  12:50 pm January 10, 2012

Could Huntsmania Actually Have an Impact in New Hampshire?

by Liz Colville

scrumdiddlyumptious

As of two hours ago, the fickle folk of the Granite State have begun voting in the first-in-the-nation primary. Last night, the registered voting population of the petite hamlet of Dixville Notch launched the primary season with their weird tradition of voting 11 hours before everybody else. Nine people showed up. Due to History and the village’s uncanny ability to predict the outcome of the Republican nomination race (perfect record since 1960), this was viewed by tweeting humans as important and prescient. Amusingly, President Obama won more votes than everyone else, with three votes. Huntsman and Romney tied at two apiece, which is the only proof we have right now that Huntsmania, the eager flocking of Romney haters (and Obama defectors?) to relative safety under the bomber-jacket-clad wing of former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman, exists. It’s a little late, is it not? OR IS IT?

This very, very tardy hype is the result of Huntsman doing pretty much exactly what Rick Santorum did in Iowa. He basically moved to New Hampshire in the fall and proceeded to Go to Work every day, repeating essentially the same pitch speech around three times a day for months. His grand total of events in the state: 170.

Assuming that those events started with a smattering of people and increased to as much as 350 by the final day of campaigning (according to media reports), it’s possible that as many as 20,000 people have met Huntsman on the road these past few months (MATH). (To throw some more numbers your way, McCain won 88,571 votes in the 2008 primary.) Granted, none of those people had the faintest idea who this guy was before they showed up to whatever school cafeteria. But there is sufficient evidence that once in the guy’s presence, people liked what they saw.

Who are these people, besides being generally non-Romneyites? They appear to be independents, moderates, disaffected Obama supporters. They are people who might consider themselves fiscally conservative but socially moderate or socially liberal. They are people who don’t trust Romney, who find Romney to have evil eyes and a fake smile and Huntsman to be a kind of Revenge-of-the-Nerdsy cross-country star dad who helps you with your math homework. They like his diplomatic cred. They like his worldview. They are young people, a demographic of New Hampshire that seems largely divided between Huntsman and Paul. (According to Joe Scarborough, Huntsman is going to have to depend on unhappy Obama supporters — including the young ‘uns — to take his surge from a statistical uptick to an actual phenomenon.)

In the battle for second place between Paul and Huntsman — these two are vying for the 41 percent of New Hampshire that considers itself independent — another advantage Huntsman has is that many of Paul’s supporters appear to be DUDES. But don’t think Paul’s peeps haven’t noticed this. They’re on it.

Paul has one potential strike against him: the tasteless attack ad that Paul supporters allegedly put out last week (the origins of the video have since come into question, and the Paul camp has denounced it). But we can’t underestimate the power of the Paul fanatics to lift their guy into a solid second place. Paul has more money and name recognition than Huntsman. He’s been around the block. He’s still leading Huntsman in most polls.

But oooooh, does New Hampshire love to surprise us. For what it’s worth (fine, nothing, except for the fact that he might be smarter than a lot of humans), Isak the Goat has made his decision: Huntsman in 2012. [Washington Post]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 183 comments }

Come here a minute January 10, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Huntsman might just squeeze out some right-wing votes before they realize he wears the funny underwear too.

CapnFatback January 10, 2012 at 1:22 pm

He may even squeeze out Santorum!

widestanceshakedown January 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Unless S/santorum drops out?

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Ew! Get the rubber sheets!

rickmaci January 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Huntsman as a person appears to be defined by more than just the religion of his ancestors.
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/21/understa

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Unlike Bishop Willard, Huntsman is not an officeholder of his cult. But I'm not as interested in his religion as in his economic and policy positions, and his treatment of corporate polluters, which was noticeably lacking during his two terms as Governor of Utah.

Barb January 10, 2012 at 12:52 pm

…. Paul fanatics to lift their guy into a solid second place.
Yep, he's #2 in my book. A solid and stinky #2.

Radiotherapy January 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Santorum is #2 in my book.

DaRooster January 10, 2012 at 1:45 pm

However he is more of a runny and frothy #2 as opposed to solid…

BarryOPotter January 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Better to Santorum in some books than in your shorts… Wait. What?

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 12:55 pm

But according to the Paultards, Ron shits pure goooold.

Barb January 10, 2012 at 12:58 pm

That's the same shit gold Glen Beck tries to sell.

WhatTheHeck January 10, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Is that where the expression “shit a brick” comes from?

ttommyunger January 10, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Can he be "solid" and still "running"? Just askin'.

prommie January 10, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Truly he is the Hero and Savior of the aspergery dork set.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:07 pm

That's "ass-burger," Prommie. Just ask Dok, he'll tell ya.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Considering that they're attempting to attract the apparently unfriendly female demographic by abusing them for being overly emotional twits who just want welfare handouts and are swayed by the MSM and by Obama's youth and stunning good looks compared to their shriveled old prune of a candidate, I sorta suspect any "lifting" the Paultradz do will only result in leakage all over their pointy little heads. Geez! It's a good thing they're not trying for careers in marketing, innit?

hagajim January 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm

"They are people who might consider themselves fiscally conservative but socially moderate or socially liberal"

If they are socially moderate or socially liberal then Huntsman is not for them. Mormons are neither and cannot be by virtue of their religion – and magic undies.

lizcolville January 10, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Huntsman says his religion is really a general spirituality that includes Episcopal, Buddhist and Mormon ideas. JUST SAYINNNNNN

hagajim January 10, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Yep – and I'm a Catholic Priest who likes little boys. Mormons are mormons no matter how far they have strayed.

Nothingisamiss January 10, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Where did he say that? Seriously? (Was it in Chinese?)

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I don't know if he actually *said* it, but the CNN asslickfest over here indicates that one of his daughters was married in the Episcopal church, and that he is raising his adopted daughters (Indian and Chinese) in the "faiths of their land," or summat.

CthuNHu January 10, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Which is a crock of santorum. Being raised with knowledge of Indian culture and religion is not the same as being raised Hindu. His kids are being raised Mormon, (though not real strictly, e.g. coffee and alcohol are fine; probably about as strict and serious as your average bibulous Episcopalian) and it was some paranoid nutjob website that invented the idea that Asha was being brought up Hindu and Gracie, uh, Buddhist? Confucian? Communist?

Actually, pretty much every parent would like to raise their kids Confucian. Doesn't usually stick, though.

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm

This is good news for boring people.

lizcolville January 10, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I am boring. Hear me yawn!

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Huntsman is just ….zzzzzzzz…….

Chet Kincaid January 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Your post contains substance. That is refreshing.

chascates January 10, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Or boring news for good people.

BaldarTFlagass January 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm

They like to hunt up there in NH, so they went with the name recognition thing.

Dashboard Buddha January 10, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Good lord…imagine if his name started with a "C" rather than an "H".

paris biltong January 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm

They're into that too.

Dashboard Buddha January 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Well…winters are long up here.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:11 pm

I b'leev there's a sufficiency of those among our NewHamps.

V572 the Merciless January 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Makes as much sense as voting for Mittens because he has a palatial oceanfront home there. Are voters anywhere really that stupid?

GOPCrusher January 10, 2012 at 3:57 pm

See, George Bush electorate; 2004.

Chet Kincaid January 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Don't get on that bandwagon!! Don't you see?! He "hunts man"!!

Gratuitous World January 10, 2012 at 12:55 pm

In the biggest upset of all time, his comment, "We need a candidate who's going to lead a Grateful Dead tour of this country…" must have resonated with the GOP base.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm

The wheel is turning and you cant slow down…
~

paris biltong January 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm

He's reportedly also joined the Diggers.

PsycWench January 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm

In South Carolina that's going to change to Charlie Daniels.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Well, most of them are grateful for their wealth, and goodness knows, they're all pretty close to dead, so …

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 10, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I'm looking for Hillary to pull a surprise victory in New Hampshire.

memzilla January 10, 2012 at 12:56 pm

"…another advantage Huntsman has is that many of Paul’s supporters appear to be DUDES…"

Vote For John Huntsman And Become A Great…

Nope, can't do it. Rhyme Fail.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 10, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Huntsman is logical and believes in using facts to set policy. In other words, he doesn't stand a chance as a Republican. Where is his birth certificate? Probably in China with his Maoist overlords.

LabRodent January 10, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Didn't he used to work for that Black couple that lives in that big house down the street?

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Yep. Main reason he can't get no traction.

GOPCrusher January 10, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Even if he promised to nuke every Muslim country on the planet, they will never forget that.

Callyson January 10, 2012 at 12:58 pm

How do you say "Time to clean up the santorum" in Mandarin?

nounverb911 January 10, 2012 at 1:37 pm

"清理的桑托罗姆"

paris biltong January 10, 2012 at 1:43 pm

时间清理狗屎

Mahousu January 10, 2012 at 2:00 pm

奥巴马总统连任。

HateMachine January 10, 2012 at 5:51 pm

You, sir, have won the internet this day.

neiltheblaze January 10, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Tim Pawlenty is eating his heart out.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 4:56 pm

It's a little bitter, but salt and vinegar should cut that.

ShaveTheWhales January 10, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Nah, he can't stay awake that long. Oh, wait, that's me zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

GregComlish January 10, 2012 at 12:59 pm

If Obama is going to compete for NH in 2012, he's either gotta fix the economy or start loading up on mousse

BaldarTFlagass January 10, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Maybe he can grow out a high-top fade, like Kid-n-Play and Allen West.

slithytoves January 10, 2012 at 12:59 pm

But oooooh, does New Hampshire love to surprise us.

After all, it is the Land of Many Uses. I can attest to that having often used the rest stops and liquor stores on my way to Maine.

Chillwillard January 10, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I heard Hunstman speak Chinese the other day. It was almost as good as that fat AM radio DJ's we all love to hate.

CapnFatback January 10, 2012 at 1:18 pm

How did he howl in Chinese?

Chillwillard January 10, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I meant this other fat asshole.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Where may I hear this, please?

Chillwillard January 10, 2012 at 3:21 pm

President Newt's future Ambassador to China: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnfwVRA7lz4

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I was actually hoping someone could provide me instantly with the link to Jon Huntsman speaking in Chinese. I'm afraid I've already seen NEVERTOBEPresident Newt's putative Chinese ambassador, and all I can say is, they'd better guard him every second if he goes over there. He's highly likely to be mistaken for a pig and roasted on an open spit if they leave him alone for a few.

reliefsinn January 10, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Think he spoke some Chinese when he was on Letterman or Stewart, one of those guys.
Don't have the tee-vee up here in NH, going to listen for the town crier announce the names of the winners tonight.
I'm rooting for Kefauver.

SayItWithWookies January 10, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Huntsman is the new Dubya — in that the electorate thinks he'd be the guy they'd most like to have a beer with. Also, he doesn't drink.

JustPixelz January 10, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Soooo … who gets the other beer? That would lock up my support.

Mumbletypeg January 10, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I guess when it comes to picking his running mate and generating a bunch of related schwag to hawk online, there won't be any Biden-style beer koozies. Perhaps instead … sippy-cups? Shirt pocket protectors? Hard to think of items that appear wholesome yet meet the cult standards.

SayItWithWookies January 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I'm thinking maybe a tasteful scroll of the Eight Immortals — it's both Chinese and an instructive parallel to the Eight Dipshits who ran in this seemingly endless steeplechase.

Chet Kincaid January 10, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Is that the cover of the next Wu Tang Clan album?

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Very nice, lei! I could use one of these to go with my Kuan Yin. A nice, big print.

My hint appears to be falling on deaf ears. Hmph. Perhaps I'll try a little closer to home.

V572 the Merciless January 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Huntsman sounds good until you listen to him. When you do listen to him, you learn he's anti-choice, anti-Medicare, anti-Social Security, and a spoiled rich kid with an entitled whine in his voice that makes you want to kick him in the 'nads.

widestanceshakedown January 10, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I also do not care for his Cantor-like, somebody-kick-my-teeth-out mouth.

Chet Kincaid January 10, 2012 at 2:32 pm

His "man in the mirror" routine with Mittens is priceless, if you like old vaudeville shtick.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Thank you. His position on the Ryan bill ought to sink him with anyone who thinks the nation needs a social safety net.

GOPCrusher January 10, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Even Paul Ryan is denying any responsibility for that bill.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Really? Finally. I should keep a sharper eye on young Eddie Munster. He's up to no good, I'm sure, and never will be.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Wait'll they find out.

edgydrifter January 10, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Huntsman has two HUGE liabilities to overcome in the Republican primaries:
1) His use of correct grammar and pronunciation
2) His relatively non-insane stump speeches

Those are both serious show-stoppers for any Republican hopeful.

prommie January 10, 2012 at 1:06 pm

He needs moar raycism, too.

JustPixelz January 10, 2012 at 1:11 pm

They like to call Gingrich the smart one. So he's doomed too. I kinda wonder if Perry has some natural advantages in this race.

chicken_thief January 10, 2012 at 1:21 pm

And also too his daughters are way too young to be MILFs.

Chet Kincaid January 10, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Only 2? Are you forgetting that he willingly collaborated with the Kenyan Usurper?

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:20 pm

NEVAH FERGIT!!

prommie January 10, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Huntsman may come out of this with an emoticon of momentum.

Sharkey January 10, 2012 at 1:16 pm

AKA Huntsmentum

prommie January 10, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Bleeaaarrrgggghhhhh! Its the traditional cry of the New Hampshire loser.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Sounds more like the mating call of the Great Northern Loon. Jes' sayin'.

SexySmurf January 10, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Huntsman's name recognition has increased so much that the cashiers at Papa John's have stopped calling him "Mister Chinky Eyes."

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:22 pm

But have they stopped calling him a n*****-lover?

BornInATrailer January 10, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Obama vs. Huntsman!

Manchurian Candidate vs. Manchurian speaker!

WhatTheHeck January 10, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Huntsman is moderately moderate. How can the rabid republican base accept someone like that? The guy is running for the wrong three-ring circus.

Chet Kincaid January 10, 2012 at 2:48 pm

What exactly is he "moderate" on?

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:24 pm

He's not as moderate as he pretends to be. He came out in support of the Ryan budget plan long before other Republicans did. He wants to END — not reform, unlike other Republicans — Medicare. And for a facts-based, rational, supposedly sane guy, the fact that he would support the Ryan budget, which will cost us more and give us less, is questionable, at best.

TanzbodenKoenig January 10, 2012 at 1:12 pm

How does he feel about bluh people though?

Beowoof January 10, 2012 at 1:23 pm

He's from Utah, I think that alone answers the question.

V572 the Merciless January 10, 2012 at 1:43 pm

He's from Utah a Mormon, I think that alone answers the question.

//fixed.

And the answer is: until 1978 blah people were benighted sons of Ham and unworthy of priesthood in the Church. Then they were okay. This is the kind of clear thinking devout Mormons can bring to the political issues of our time.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

So it's not just MIttens … the whole freaking church flip-flops when it's convenient to do so.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Reading about the Mormon cult might give you a few scary ideas, Biely. Consider, if you will, that all observant Mormons are required to wear the sacred undergarments. Consider that these (at least until recently, and, maybe, still) may only be purchased through the cult. Consider that most people change their underwear daily, and need, oh, at least three or four pair, which they go through in a year or less. It's a flimflam, a scam, a racket for siphoning the $$ off the suckers, and one of the most efficient I have ever come across.

Perhaps a religion needs a couple of centuries to develop any kind of moral philosophy, but in my readings on this cult, I have not yet been able to discern anything over and above what the various flavours of Christianity offer.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:24 pm

He *plives* for them.

Mumbletypeg January 10, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Isak the Goat has made his decision: Huntsman in 2012

Ha! I *knew* someone's pet goat ate Newt's contract up. Well played, Huntsman, well played.

smokefillednewyear January 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Arizona Repubs can't vote for Huntsman in the primary. (Not that they would anyway).

Guppy January 10, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Why not? Did he fail to produce a long-form birth certificate?

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Not clicking the linky, eh?

No, it's because the schlub failed to file timely with the required notarized signature (his own — oy!). This is the umpteenth time some dimwit Republican would-be-nominee has fucked up this way. Makes me wonder if their heart's just not in this race.

smokefillednewyear January 10, 2012 at 5:11 pm

That's what I thought. He probably forgot he was running.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 5:44 pm

It's been one long string of missteps, this entire three-ring circus. At what point can we stop pretending they're "missteps" and start eliminating candidates?

not that Dewey January 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm

When in the goats of huntsman events it becomes necessary for Greta to fill some dead air…

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:30 pm

(slaps ntD) Dood? Dood?

You *gotta* stop taking the blue pill, dood. (or is it the red? I forget.)

Not_So_Much January 10, 2012 at 1:16 pm

I don't think he's bringing nearly enough of Teh Krazee to gain any traction in a GOP race.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I don't think that's it so much as working for the Blah President automatically made him a liberal RINO, so no lerve.

Joshua Norton January 10, 2012 at 1:17 pm

The leading candidates are all driving off the cliff together like Thelma and Louise, leaving Jon Huntsman to pick up the pieces.

And Jon really could beat Barack. That is scary.

Tundra Grifter January 10, 2012 at 1:24 pm

JN:

I do think Gov. Huntsman just makes too much sense to ever receive the nod from the GNoPee.

And there's The Dirty Litle Secret. A large number of evangelicals simply will not vote for a Morman. Period. They won't admit it – who in the world will tell a stranger from a polling company on the phone "Sure, I'm a bigot"? But it remains a fact.

They will lie in public and then just sit out the election in November – voting for local candidates, perhaps, but not for a Presidential candidate.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Jon might, not could. If the stenographers of the media cooperate. If they actually do their damn jobs, not so much. Jon is not a nice person at all, although he sure plays a nice person in the media. I don't have anything *personal* against the guy, but he was for the Ryan Budget before most other GOPigs. The CBO says the Ryan budget will cost us more and give us less. He's also waffled on climate science after his initial bold statements. In fact, he pretty much walked back his position on global warming, and now says more research is needed (like we'll survive long enough to make that likely). He also thinks Medicare should be ENDED — a position no other Republican took until he articulated it. And he believes corporate polluters should be self-regulating.

Gainsbourg69 January 10, 2012 at 4:28 pm

It's highly unlikely that he'll get the nomination because most Goopers think he's a pussy. In fact, the reason most of them are willing to overlook Newt's cozying up to Pelosi and Fanny-Fred is because he is the only one they feel would put up a fight against Obama.

chicken_thief January 10, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Just for the hell of it, I sent an email to: IsukTheGoat@gmail.com and Santorum responded.

ShaveTheWhales January 10, 2012 at 8:42 pm

I c what you omitted there.

Tundra Grifter January 10, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Sen. Ron Paul is kinda like Jesus Chris – don't judge them by the people who claim to be their supporters.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:35 pm

TG, he's not a Senator, his son is. He's a Representative.

Tundra Grifter January 11, 2012 at 11:37 am

PAZ:

Thank you. You are, of course, correct. Sen. Rand Paul's fans are the Krugers.

Goonemeritus January 10, 2012 at 1:20 pm

“Many of Paul’s supporters appear to be DUDES.”

Why do most world events conspire to make me ashamed for having a penis?

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I know. It almost makes me feel sorry for most white people that current events are conspiring to make decent people ashamed to belong to that group.

GOPCrusher January 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I still haven't gotten out of the habit of when traveling outside the country, telling people that I'm Canadian.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Sometimes it's a matter of safety! Over dinner at a friend's home in Ireland, we were berated roundly by several Irish and English people about the re-election of Gee, Dumb? Yeah, Bush! Partner took to wearing a "We're Canadian, eh?" tee shirt for a while. One partner. The other one IS Canadian.

pinkocommi January 10, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I'm pretty sure that Obama is a RINO.

chascates January 10, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Huntsman may place 2nd or 3rd but he'll be history come South Carolina. Check out his list of issues: http://jon2012.com/issues
Nothing about God, gun rights, or gay marriage: the GOP's trifecta for the base. And Huntsman, like many of the others, didn't make the ballot deadlines in other states: http://www.politico.com/blogs/burns-haberman/2012

It'll be down to Romney, the candidate without visible fangs, and Santorum, the great white hope of the evangelicals. Socialism FTW!!

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 2:21 pm

And with Paul consistently getting his 15-20% of diehards aPaulstiles, not enough to win but enough to mess things up a bit.

ttommyunger January 10, 2012 at 1:27 pm

"Tea Pot? Tempest calling!".

Wonderthing January 10, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Martin Sheen's got my vote. I love the way he puts on his coat.

OzoneTom January 10, 2012 at 1:29 pm

You have shown remarkable restraint, so I'll have to say it: "…and surging from the rear, Rick Santorum!"

meatlofer January 10, 2012 at 1:29 pm

After he pleasured himself, with the goat,the goat turned and kissed him. A good Goat will do that ,you know!

MissTaken January 10, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Huntsmania may infect NH, but it's going to die a quick death in SC. Once word of his majik underwear, illegitimate Chinese and Indian daughters, and the fact that his previous employer was a blah muslin gets out his campaign will be over quicker than you can hang up on a Karl Rove-esque robocall.

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Exactly; Mittens may be facing an uphill battle in the South, but having worked for Obama alone makes Huntsman completely unacceptable to the base.

CapnFatback January 10, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Isak the Goat has made his decision: Huntsman in 2012.

Well, it makes sense that Isak would be brought in to dispatch with Paul. We all know what he and his brothers did to that other nasty troll under the bridge.

paris biltong January 10, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Are we supposed to discuss this topic as if it mattered? As if we actually cared?
Statistical upticks in this ridiculous Republic primary? Can't we switch over to sports, movies, chess, whatever?

IceCreamEmpress January 10, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Exactly. It's like having a discussion with my littlest goddaughter about which of her dolls would win in a fight.

prommie January 10, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Hey, Wonkette, where's the comment on my very own tub-of-lard Governor's latest misogynistic outburst, when he yelled at the female protesters last night "blow me?"

BarackMyWorld January 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm

That happened Sunday.

FakaktaSouth January 10, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Oh my God. Was that before or after he was crying about the dead assemblyman in the bathroom? (NJ Politics > most other politics)

prommie January 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Roll Tide! A touchdown and everything, it was like football!

FakaktaSouth January 10, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Between the way those boys hit last night and that convo on the sweater vest post about DrakkarNoir I am beside myself in love with manlymanlymanliness. That was incredibly fun. Roll Tide Indeed.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Good question. Why the fuck do the media seem to feel the need lately to tell us about the manly tears our manly men of politics seem to keep dropping? I never saw such a great big blubbering bunch of babies in my fucking life, jezus god. WTF is the matter with them? They cry at the drop of a hanky.

And yes, I'd really like to know if Mr. More-Chins-Than-The-Hongkong-Phone-Book took time off from his blubbering to beg young women to suck his (fat-girdled) inch of dick. The Angry Inch indeed!

FakaktaSouth January 10, 2012 at 5:23 pm

The thought of crying ChrisChristie-Blowjobs makes my forehead/neck and soul hurt.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I'm so sorry, hon, I just couldn't stop myself once I got started.

Limeylizzie January 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

What? Really? How would you ever find anything to blow under his fat apron?

prommie January 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Ahh, I missed it, it was commented on yesterday, I was on my feet for 6 hours yesterday, performing my one-man-show for a packed audience.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:42 pm

What one-man show, Prommie? Are you a famous actor-type person like our Lizzie?

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Oh, girl! THIS ^^ is why I wanna kiss you a hunnert times.

Limeylizzie January 10, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Thanks Baby.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 4:48 pm

(kisses TehGirl a hunnert times)

Anytime, sweetpea.

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm

We talked about that yesterday! Although I still maintain that he was offering to go down on her, with that fat and sloppy mouth of his.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Oh, Christ, fuckmeblind, I don't need that image! BRB, must heave up guts now.

littlebigdaddy January 10, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I for one welcome our new caprid overlord.

V572 the Merciless January 10, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Statements with questionablecredibility often begin: "According to Joe Scarborough…" He's ahead of Donna Brazile or Susan Estrich, though, in that he actually won an election or two.

prommie January 10, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Just a tempest in a chamber pot?

ttommyunger January 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I guess my question was rhetorical anyway, shit is still shit, regardless.

Steverino247 January 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Aha! The origin of the terms "goat rodeo" and "goat fuck" now become more clear to me…

BarackMyWorld January 10, 2012 at 1:42 pm

WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN HUNTSMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?!?

MissTaken January 10, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Huntsman, Huntsman, he's our man
If he can't do it…ugh, Ron Paul can??

freakishlywrong January 10, 2012 at 1:51 pm

He supports "the Ryan Plan" 100%. Don't be stupid, Hampshires.

hagajim January 10, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Wasn't it the Huntsman who was hired to cut out Snow White's heart? Just sayin'.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Oh, hagajim! Can I use that without paying royalty?

hagajim January 10, 2012 at 4:07 pm

You have my permission – but Disney may have issues.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Fuck them! They're less likely to grill my still-beating heart over live coals than my fellow Wonketeerz, man.

HateMachine January 10, 2012 at 2:06 pm

…many of Paul’s supporters appear to be DUDES. But don’t think Paul’s peeps haven’t noticed this. They’re on it.

By 'on it' you seem to mean going into comment threads and courting the wimmenz with cask-strength misogyny. Great plan, guys. If there's one thing bitches love, it's generalizations based on gender.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I'm tellin' ya. I got through about five of those before I gave up and left. They ain't never gonna get NO wimminz this way.

Huevos Ocupados January 10, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Oh fuck! Not the sane guy! Anybody but the sane guy!

SorosBot January 10, 2012 at 2:14 pm

He's only sane by comparison to the other clowns.

gurukalehuru January 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Isak the goat is a shill.

Chet Kincaid January 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm

T. J. Huntsmania hasn't done a whole lot since the Raiders signed him.

Pres.Libunatic January 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

If Huntsman can tap into the important Vermin Supreme voting demographic, he should be just fine.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Vermin Supreme is WAY funnier.

Guppy January 10, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Women reluctant to vote for man seeking to repeal Nineteenth Amendment. Film at 11.

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 4:53 pm

To Paultardz' Surprise, Bitches Won't Vote For Old Man Who Wants All Up In Their Uteri.

What the fuck is the matter with these cunts, do they think they're PEOPLE or something? It's just like all those nigrahs complaining about the Good Doctor's RACISM when we ALL know that it's BLAH people who are the REEL rasists.

Read the comments on the linked story, if you dare. Every Paultard in the country seems to be logged in to WT.

neiltheblaze January 10, 2012 at 1:19 pm

You know – the other bland, faceless former governor.

chicken_thief January 10, 2012 at 1:28 pm

The guy who is most fam… zzzzzzzzzzzz

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 4:37 pm

The media loves the guy (why? He photographs well?), and finds it important to let the hoi polloi know that even though Mr. Huntsman has scary magic undies, his scary magic undies are not as scary as Bishop Willard's scary magic undies. Or sump'n.

Raising your kids Confucian, or neo-Confucian? I understand the outcome tends to be mostly raising authoritarian unimaginative litte drones, with the occasional spectacularly nonconformist loon cropping up from time to time. Although for all that all authoritarian types are undoubtedy drawn to Confucianism, at least in Chinese culture, there has always been a strong thread of rebellion against the Confucian ideal.

HateMachine January 10, 2012 at 5:55 pm

I'm raising my kids Taoist. They will be described by their peers as "really weird."

PalinzADummy January 10, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Unless you move to East Asia. They might just fit right in, there.

HateMachine January 10, 2012 at 6:16 pm

There's an even-odds chance I'll be living in Japan in my (extremely hypothetical) child-rearing years, where the prevailing religious attitude is "Whatever" or "All of the above, why not."

ShaveTheWhales January 10, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Well then you'll have the opportunity to go Shinto.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 13, 2012 at 6:49 am

Yeah, it's on a par with Scientology as far as the scam factor goes (Joe Smith and L. Ron Hubbard had a lot in common.) But give 'em a millenium or two, and even the most ludicrous ideas take on a sheen of respectability. I've seen it happen before.

PalinzADummy January 13, 2012 at 1:36 pm

(Wipes sweating brow) At least you haven't profferred up a new and painful treatment in wire mesh undergarmies for the masses. For this, among other things, we are eternally (honest!) grateful.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Relax — Romney's superpac millions will obliterate them for you.

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