hypetty hype hype

Could Huntsmania Actually Have an Impact in New Hampshire?

scrumdiddlyumptious

As of two hours ago, the fickle folk of the Granite State have begun voting in the first-in-the-nation primary. Last night, the registered voting population of the petite hamlet of Dixville Notch launched the primary season with their weird tradition of voting 11 hours before everybody else. Nine people showed up. Due to History and the village’s uncanny ability to predict the outcome of the Republican nomination race (perfect record since 1960), this was viewed by tweeting humans as important and prescient. Amusingly, President Obama won more votes than everyone else, with three votes. Huntsman and Romney tied at two apiece, which is the only proof we have right now that Huntsmania, the eager flocking of Romney haters (and Obama defectors?) to relative safety under the bomber-jacket-clad wing of former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman, exists. It’s a little late, is it not? OR IS IT?

This very, very tardy hype is the result of Huntsman doing pretty much exactly what Rick Santorum did in Iowa. He basically moved to New Hampshire in the fall and proceeded to Go to Work every day, repeating essentially the same pitch speech around three times a day for months. His grand total of events in the state: 170.

Assuming that those events started with a smattering of people and increased to as much as 350 by the final day of campaigning (according to media reports), it’s possible that as many as 20,000 people have met Huntsman on the road these past few months (MATH). (To throw some more numbers your way, McCain won 88,571 votes in the 2008 primary.) Granted, none of those people had the faintest idea who this guy was before they showed up to whatever school cafeteria. But there is sufficient evidence that once in the guy’s presence, people liked what they saw.

Who are these people, besides being generally non-Romneyites? They appear to be independents, moderates, disaffected Obama supporters. They are people who might consider themselves fiscally conservative but socially moderate or socially liberal. They are people who don’t trust Romney, who find Romney to have evil eyes and a fake smile and Huntsman to be a kind of Revenge-of-the-Nerdsy cross-country star dad who helps you with your math homework. They like his diplomatic cred. They like his worldview. They are young people, a demographic of New Hampshire that seems largely divided between Huntsman and Paul. (According to Joe Scarborough, Huntsman is going to have to depend on unhappy Obama supporters — including the young ‘uns — to take his surge from a statistical uptick to an actual phenomenon.)

In the battle for second place between Paul and Huntsman — these two are vying for the 41 percent of New Hampshire that considers itself independent — another advantage Huntsman has is that many of Paul’s supporters appear to be DUDES. But don’t think Paul’s peeps haven’t noticed this. They’re on it.

Paul has one potential strike against him: the tasteless attack ad that Paul supporters allegedly put out last week (the origins of the video have since come into question, and the Paul camp has denounced it). But we can’t underestimate the power of the Paul fanatics to lift their guy into a solid second place. Paul has more money and name recognition than Huntsman. He’s been around the block. He’s still leading Huntsman in most polls.

But oooooh, does New Hampshire love to surprise us. For what it’s worth (fine, nothing, except for the fact that he might be smarter than a lot of humans), Isak the Goat has made his decision: Huntsman in 2012. [Washington Post]

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville

Comments

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  • Come here a minute

    Huntsman might just squeeze out some right-wing votes before they realize he wears the funny underwear too.

    • CapnFatback

      He may even squeeze out Santorum!

      • widestanceshakedown

        Unless S/santorum drops out?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Ew! Get the rubber sheets!

    • rickmaci

      Huntsman as a person appears to be defined by more than just the religion of his ancestors.
      http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/21/understa

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Unlike Bishop Willard, Huntsman is not an officeholder of his cult. But I'm not as interested in his religion as in his economic and policy positions, and his treatment of corporate polluters, which was noticeably lacking during his two terms as Governor of Utah.

  • Barb

    …. Paul fanatics to lift their guy into a solid second place.
    Yep, he's #2 in my book. A solid and stinky #2.

    • Radiotherapy

      Santorum is #2 in my book.

      • DaRooster

        However he is more of a runny and frothy #2 as opposed to solid…

      • BarryOPotter

        Better to Santorum in some books than in your shorts… Wait. What?

    • SorosBot

      But according to the Paultards, Ron shits pure goooold.

      • Barb

        That's the same shit gold Glen Beck tries to sell.

        • WhatTheHeck

          Is that where the expression “shit a brick” comes from?

          • ttommyunger

            Can he be "solid" and still "running"? Just askin'.

    • prommie

      Truly he is the Hero and Savior of the aspergery dork set.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        That's "ass-burger," Prommie. Just ask Dok, he'll tell ya.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Considering that they're attempting to attract the apparently unfriendly female demographic by abusing them for being overly emotional twits who just want welfare handouts and are swayed by the MSM and by Obama's youth and stunning good looks compared to their shriveled old prune of a candidate, I sorta suspect any "lifting" the Paultradz do will only result in leakage all over their pointy little heads. Geez! It's a good thing they're not trying for careers in marketing, innit?

  • hagajim

    "They are people who might consider themselves fiscally conservative but socially moderate or socially liberal"

    If they are socially moderate or socially liberal then Huntsman is not for them. Mormons are neither and cannot be by virtue of their religion – and magic undies.

    • lizcolville

      Huntsman says his religion is really a general spirituality that includes Episcopal, Buddhist and Mormon ideas. JUST SAYINNNNNN

      • hagajim

        Yep – and I'm a Catholic Priest who likes little boys. Mormons are mormons no matter how far they have strayed.

      • Nothingisamiss

        Where did he say that? Seriously? (Was it in Chinese?)

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          I don't know if he actually *said* it, but the CNN asslickfest over here indicates that one of his daughters was married in the Episcopal church, and that he is raising his adopted daughters (Indian and Chinese) in the "faiths of their land," or summat.

          • CthuNHu

            Which is a crock of santorum. Being raised with knowledge of Indian culture and religion is not the same as being raised Hindu. His kids are being raised Mormon, (though not real strictly, e.g. coffee and alcohol are fine; probably about as strict and serious as your average bibulous Episcopalian) and it was some paranoid nutjob website that invented the idea that Asha was being brought up Hindu and Gracie, uh, Buddhist? Confucian? Communist?

            Actually, pretty much every parent would like to raise their kids Confucian. Doesn't usually stick, though.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            The media loves the guy (why? He photographs well?), and finds it important to let the hoi polloi know that even though Mr. Huntsman has scary magic undies, his scary magic undies are not as scary as Bishop Willard's scary magic undies. Or sump'n.

            Raising your kids Confucian, or neo-Confucian? I understand the outcome tends to be mostly raising authoritarian unimaginative litte drones, with the occasional spectacularly nonconformist loon cropping up from time to time. Although for all that all authoritarian types are undoubtedy drawn to Confucianism, at least in Chinese culture, there has always been a strong thread of rebellion against the Confucian ideal.

          • HateMachine

            I'm raising my kids Taoist. They will be described by their peers as "really weird."

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Unless you move to East Asia. They might just fit right in, there.

          • HateMachine

            There's an even-odds chance I'll be living in Japan in my (extremely hypothetical) child-rearing years, where the prevailing religious attitude is "Whatever" or "All of the above, why not."

          • ShaveTheWhales

            Well then you'll have the opportunity to go Shinto.

  • SorosBot

    This is good news for boring people.

    • lizcolville

      I am boring. Hear me yawn!

      • SorosBot

        Huntsman is just ….zzzzzzzz…….

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Your post contains substance. That is refreshing.

    • chascates

      Or boring news for good people.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    They like to hunt up there in NH, so they went with the name recognition thing.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Good lord…imagine if his name started with a "C" rather than an "H".

      • paris biltong

        They're into that too.

        • Dashboard Buddha

          Well…winters are long up here.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        I b'leev there's a sufficiency of those among our NewHamps.

    • V572 the Merciless

      Makes as much sense as voting for Mittens because he has a palatial oceanfront home there. Are voters anywhere really that stupid?

      • GOPCrusher

        See, George Bush electorate; 2004.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Don't get on that bandwagon!! Don't you see?! He "hunts man"!!

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    In the biggest upset of all time, his comment, "We need a candidate who's going to lead a Grateful Dead tour of this country…" must have resonated with the GOP base.

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

      The wheel is turning and you cant slow down…
      ~

    • paris biltong

      He's reportedly also joined the Diggers.

    • PsycWench

      In South Carolina that's going to change to Charlie Daniels.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Well, most of them are grateful for their wealth, and goodness knows, they're all pretty close to dead, so …

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I'm looking for Hillary to pull a surprise victory in New Hampshire.

  • memzilla

    "…another advantage Huntsman has is that many of Paul’s supporters appear to be DUDES…"

    Vote For John Huntsman And Become A Great…

    Nope, can't do it. Rhyme Fail.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Huntsman is logical and believes in using facts to set policy. In other words, he doesn't stand a chance as a Republican. Where is his birth certificate? Probably in China with his Maoist overlords.

  • LabRodent

    Didn't he used to work for that Black couple that lives in that big house down the street?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Yep. Main reason he can't get no traction.

    • GOPCrusher

      Even if he promised to nuke every Muslim country on the planet, they will never forget that.

  • Callyson

    How do you say "Time to clean up the santorum" in Mandarin?

    • nounverb911

      "清理的桑托罗姆"

    • paris biltong

      时间清理狗屎

    • Mahousu

      奥巴马总统连任。

      • HateMachine

        You, sir, have won the internet this day.

  • neiltheblaze

    Tim Pawlenty is eating his heart out.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      It's a little bitter, but salt and vinegar should cut that.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Nah, he can't stay awake that long. Oh, wait, that's me zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • GregComlish

    If Obama is going to compete for NH in 2012, he's either gotta fix the economy or start loading up on mousse

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Maybe he can grow out a high-top fade, like Kid-n-Play and Allen West.

  • slithytoves

    But oooooh, does New Hampshire love to surprise us.

    After all, it is the Land of Many Uses. I can attest to that having often used the rest stops and liquor stores on my way to Maine.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

    I heard Hunstman speak Chinese the other day. It was almost as good as that fat AM radio DJ's we all love to hate.

    • CapnFatback

      How did he howl in Chinese?

      • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

        I meant this other fat asshole.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Where may I hear this, please?

      • http://www.wonkette.com Chillwillard

        President Newt's future Ambassador to China: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnfwVRA7lz4

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          I was actually hoping someone could provide me instantly with the link to Jon Huntsman speaking in Chinese. I'm afraid I've already seen NEVERTOBEPresident Newt's putative Chinese ambassador, and all I can say is, they'd better guard him every second if he goes over there. He's highly likely to be mistaken for a pig and roasted on an open spit if they leave him alone for a few.

          • reliefsinn

            Think he spoke some Chinese when he was on Letterman or Stewart, one of those guys.
            Don't have the tee-vee up here in NH, going to listen for the town crier announce the names of the winners tonight.
            I'm rooting for Kefauver.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Huntsman is the new Dubya — in that the electorate thinks he'd be the guy they'd most like to have a beer with. Also, he doesn't drink.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      Soooo … who gets the other beer? That would lock up my support.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      I guess when it comes to picking his running mate and generating a bunch of related schwag to hawk online, there won't be any Biden-style beer koozies. Perhaps instead … sippy-cups? Shirt pocket protectors? Hard to think of items that appear wholesome yet meet the cult standards.

      • SayItWithWookies

        I'm thinking maybe a tasteful scroll of the Eight Immortals — it's both Chinese and an instructive parallel to the Eight Dipshits who ran in this seemingly endless steeplechase.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          Is that the cover of the next Wu Tang Clan album?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Very nice, lei! I could use one of these to go with my Kuan Yin. A nice, big print.

          My hint appears to be falling on deaf ears. Hmph. Perhaps I'll try a little closer to home.

    • V572 the Merciless

      Huntsman sounds good until you listen to him. When you do listen to him, you learn he's anti-choice, anti-Medicare, anti-Social Security, and a spoiled rich kid with an entitled whine in his voice that makes you want to kick him in the 'nads.

      • widestanceshakedown

        I also do not care for his Cantor-like, somebody-kick-my-teeth-out mouth.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        His "man in the mirror" routine with Mittens is priceless, if you like old vaudeville shtick.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Thank you. His position on the Ryan bill ought to sink him with anyone who thinks the nation needs a social safety net.

        • GOPCrusher

          Even Paul Ryan is denying any responsibility for that bill.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Really? Finally. I should keep a sharper eye on young Eddie Munster. He's up to no good, I'm sure, and never will be.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Wait'll they find out.

  • edgydrifter

    Huntsman has two HUGE liabilities to overcome in the Republican primaries:
    1) His use of correct grammar and pronunciation
    2) His relatively non-insane stump speeches

    Those are both serious show-stoppers for any Republican hopeful.

    • prommie

      He needs moar raycism, too.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      They like to call Gingrich the smart one. So he's doomed too. I kinda wonder if Perry has some natural advantages in this race.

    • chicken_thief

      And also too his daughters are way too young to be MILFs.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Only 2? Are you forgetting that he willingly collaborated with the Kenyan Usurper?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        NEVAH FERGIT!!

  • prommie

    Huntsman may come out of this with an emoticon of momentum.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      AKA Huntsmentum

      • prommie

        Bleeaaarrrgggghhhhh! Its the traditional cry of the New Hampshire loser.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Sounds more like the mating call of the Great Northern Loon. Jes' sayin'.

  • SexySmurf

    Huntsman's name recognition has increased so much that the cashiers at Papa John's have stopped calling him "Mister Chinky Eyes."

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      But have they stopped calling him a n*****-lover?

  • BornInATrailer

    Obama vs. Huntsman!

    Manchurian Candidate vs. Manchurian speaker!

  • WhatTheHeck

    Huntsman is moderately moderate. How can the rabid republican base accept someone like that? The guy is running for the wrong three-ring circus.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      What exactly is he "moderate" on?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      He's not as moderate as he pretends to be. He came out in support of the Ryan budget plan long before other Republicans did. He wants to END — not reform, unlike other Republicans — Medicare. And for a facts-based, rational, supposedly sane guy, the fact that he would support the Ryan budget, which will cost us more and give us less, is questionable, at best.

  • http://www.wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

    How does he feel about bluh people though?

    • Beowoof

      He's from Utah, I think that alone answers the question.

      • V572 the Merciless

        He's from Utah a Mormon, I think that alone answers the question.

        //fixed.

        And the answer is: until 1978 blah people were benighted sons of Ham and unworthy of priesthood in the Church. Then they were okay. This is the kind of clear thinking devout Mormons can bring to the political issues of our time.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          So it's not just MIttens … the whole freaking church flip-flops when it's convenient to do so.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Reading about the Mormon cult might give you a few scary ideas, Biely. Consider, if you will, that all observant Mormons are required to wear the sacred undergarments. Consider that these (at least until recently, and, maybe, still) may only be purchased through the cult. Consider that most people change their underwear daily, and need, oh, at least three or four pair, which they go through in a year or less. It's a flimflam, a scam, a racket for siphoning the $$ off the suckers, and one of the most efficient I have ever come across.

            Perhaps a religion needs a couple of centuries to develop any kind of moral philosophy, but in my readings on this cult, I have not yet been able to discern anything over and above what the various flavours of Christianity offer.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Yeah, it's on a par with Scientology as far as the scam factor goes (Joe Smith and L. Ron Hubbard had a lot in common.) But give 'em a millenium or two, and even the most ludicrous ideas take on a sheen of respectability. I've seen it happen before.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            (Wipes sweating brow) At least you haven't profferred up a new and painful treatment in wire mesh undergarmies for the masses. For this, among other things, we are eternally (honest!) grateful.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      He *plives* for them.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Isak the Goat has made his decision: Huntsman in 2012

    Ha! I *knew* someone's pet goat ate Newt's contract up. Well played, Huntsman, well played.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

    Arizona Repubs can't vote for Huntsman in the primary. (Not that they would anyway).

    • Guppy

      Why not? Did he fail to produce a long-form birth certificate?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Not clicking the linky, eh?

        No, it's because the schlub failed to file timely with the required notarized signature (his own — oy!). This is the umpteenth time some dimwit Republican would-be-nominee has fucked up this way. Makes me wonder if their heart's just not in this race.

        • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

          That's what I thought. He probably forgot he was running.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            It's been one long string of missteps, this entire three-ring circus. At what point can we stop pretending they're "missteps" and start eliminating candidates?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Relax — Romney's superpac millions will obliterate them for you.

  • not that Dewey

    When in the goats of huntsman events it becomes necessary for Greta to fill some dead air…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      (slaps ntD) Dood? Dood?

      You *gotta* stop taking the blue pill, dood. (or is it the red? I forget.)

  • Not_So_Much

    I don't think he's bringing nearly enough of Teh Krazee to gain any traction in a GOP race.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      I don't think that's it so much as working for the Blah President automatically made him a liberal RINO, so no lerve.

  • Joshua Norton

    The leading candidates are all driving off the cliff together like Thelma and Louise, leaving Jon Huntsman to pick up the pieces.

    And Jon really could beat Barack. That is scary.

    • Tundra Grifter

      JN:

      I do think Gov. Huntsman just makes too much sense to ever receive the nod from the GNoPee.

      And there's The Dirty Litle Secret. A large number of evangelicals simply will not vote for a Morman. Period. They won't admit it – who in the world will tell a stranger from a polling company on the phone "Sure, I'm a bigot"? But it remains a fact.

      They will lie in public and then just sit out the election in November – voting for local candidates, perhaps, but not for a Presidential candidate.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Jon might, not could. If the stenographers of the media cooperate. If they actually do their damn jobs, not so much. Jon is not a nice person at all, although he sure plays a nice person in the media. I don't have anything *personal* against the guy, but he was for the Ryan Budget before most other GOPigs. The CBO says the Ryan budget will cost us more and give us less. He's also waffled on climate science after his initial bold statements. In fact, he pretty much walked back his position on global warming, and now says more research is needed (like we'll survive long enough to make that likely). He also thinks Medicare should be ENDED — a position no other Republican took until he articulated it. And he believes corporate polluters should be self-regulating.

    • Gainsbourg69

      It's highly unlikely that he'll get the nomination because most Goopers think he's a pussy. In fact, the reason most of them are willing to overlook Newt's cozying up to Pelosi and Fanny-Fred is because he is the only one they feel would put up a fight against Obama.

  • chicken_thief

    Just for the hell of it, I sent an email to: IsukTheGoat@gmail.com and Santorum responded.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      I c what you omitted there.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Sen. Ron Paul is kinda like Jesus Chris – don't judge them by the people who claim to be their supporters.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      TG, he's not a Senator, his son is. He's a Representative.

      • Tundra Grifter

        PAZ:

        Thank you. You are, of course, correct. Sen. Rand Paul's fans are the Krugers.

  • Goonemeritus

    “Many of Paul’s supporters appear to be DUDES.”

    Why do most world events conspire to make me ashamed for having a penis?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      I know. It almost makes me feel sorry for most white people that current events are conspiring to make decent people ashamed to belong to that group.

      • GOPCrusher

        I still haven't gotten out of the habit of when traveling outside the country, telling people that I'm Canadian.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Sometimes it's a matter of safety! Over dinner at a friend's home in Ireland, we were berated roundly by several Irish and English people about the re-election of Gee, Dumb? Yeah, Bush! Partner took to wearing a "We're Canadian, eh?" tee shirt for a while. One partner. The other one IS Canadian.

  • pinkocommi

    I'm pretty sure that Obama is a RINO.

  • chascates

    Huntsman may place 2nd or 3rd but he'll be history come South Carolina. Check out his list of issues: http://jon2012.com/issues
    Nothing about God, gun rights, or gay marriage: the GOP's trifecta for the base. And Huntsman, like many of the others, didn't make the ballot deadlines in other states: http://www.politico.com/blogs/burns-haberman/2012

    It'll be down to Romney, the candidate without visible fangs, and Santorum, the great white hope of the evangelicals. Socialism FTW!!

    • SorosBot

      And with Paul consistently getting his 15-20% of diehards aPaulstiles, not enough to win but enough to mess things up a bit.

  • ttommyunger

    "Tea Pot? Tempest calling!".

  • Wonderthing

    Martin Sheen's got my vote. I love the way he puts on his coat.

  • OzoneTom

    You have shown remarkable restraint, so I'll have to say it: "…and surging from the rear, Rick Santorum!"

  • meatlofer

    After he pleasured himself, with the goat,the goat turned and kissed him. A good Goat will do that ,you know!

  • MissTaken

    Huntsmania may infect NH, but it's going to die a quick death in SC. Once word of his majik underwear, illegitimate Chinese and Indian daughters, and the fact that his previous employer was a blah muslin gets out his campaign will be over quicker than you can hang up on a Karl Rove-esque robocall.

    • SorosBot

      Exactly; Mittens may be facing an uphill battle in the South, but having worked for Obama alone makes Huntsman completely unacceptable to the base.

  • CapnFatback

    Isak the Goat has made his decision: Huntsman in 2012.

    Well, it makes sense that Isak would be brought in to dispatch with Paul. We all know what he and his brothers did to that other nasty troll under the bridge.

  • paris biltong

    Are we supposed to discuss this topic as if it mattered? As if we actually cared?
    Statistical upticks in this ridiculous Republic primary? Can't we switch over to sports, movies, chess, whatever?

    • IceCreamEmpress

      Exactly. It's like having a discussion with my littlest goddaughter about which of her dolls would win in a fight.

  • prommie

    Hey, Wonkette, where's the comment on my very own tub-of-lard Governor's latest misogynistic outburst, when he yelled at the female protesters last night "blow me?"

    • BarackMyWorld

      That happened Sunday.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Oh my God. Was that before or after he was crying about the dead assemblyman in the bathroom? (NJ Politics > most other politics)

      • prommie

        Roll Tide! A touchdown and everything, it was like football!

        • FakaktaSouth

          Between the way those boys hit last night and that convo on the sweater vest post about DrakkarNoir I am beside myself in love with manlymanlymanliness. That was incredibly fun. Roll Tide Indeed.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Good question. Why the fuck do the media seem to feel the need lately to tell us about the manly tears our manly men of politics seem to keep dropping? I never saw such a great big blubbering bunch of babies in my fucking life, jezus god. WTF is the matter with them? They cry at the drop of a hanky.

        And yes, I'd really like to know if Mr. More-Chins-Than-The-Hongkong-Phone-Book took time off from his blubbering to beg young women to suck his (fat-girdled) inch of dick. The Angry Inch indeed!

        • FakaktaSouth

          The thought of crying ChrisChristie-Blowjobs makes my forehead/neck and soul hurt.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            I'm so sorry, hon, I just couldn't stop myself once I got started.

    • Limeylizzie

      What? Really? How would you ever find anything to blow under his fat apron?

      • prommie

        Ahh, I missed it, it was commented on yesterday, I was on my feet for 6 hours yesterday, performing my one-man-show for a packed audience.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          What one-man show, Prommie? Are you a famous actor-type person like our Lizzie?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Oh, girl! THIS ^^ is why I wanna kiss you a hunnert times.

        • Limeylizzie

          Thanks Baby.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            (kisses TehGirl a hunnert times)

            Anytime, sweetpea.

    • SorosBot

      We talked about that yesterday! Although I still maintain that he was offering to go down on her, with that fat and sloppy mouth of his.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Oh, Christ, fuckmeblind, I don't need that image! BRB, must heave up guts now.

  • littlebigdaddy

    I for one welcome our new caprid overlord.

  • V572 the Merciless

    Statements with questionablecredibility often begin: "According to Joe Scarborough…" He's ahead of Donna Brazile or Susan Estrich, though, in that he actually won an election or two.

  • prommie

    Just a tempest in a chamber pot?

  • ttommyunger

    I guess my question was rhetorical anyway, shit is still shit, regardless.

  • Steverino247

    Aha! The origin of the terms "goat rodeo" and "goat fuck" now become more clear to me…

  • BarackMyWorld

    WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN HUNTSMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?!?

  • MissTaken

    Huntsman, Huntsman, he's our man
    If he can't do it…ugh, Ron Paul can??

  • freakishlywrong

    He supports "the Ryan Plan" 100%. Don't be stupid, Hampshires.

  • hagajim

    Wasn't it the Huntsman who was hired to cut out Snow White's heart? Just sayin'.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Oh, hagajim! Can I use that without paying royalty?

      • hagajim

        You have my permission – but Disney may have issues.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Fuck them! They're less likely to grill my still-beating heart over live coals than my fellow Wonketeerz, man.

  • HateMachine

    …many of Paul’s supporters appear to be DUDES. But don’t think Paul’s peeps haven’t noticed this. They’re on it.

    By 'on it' you seem to mean going into comment threads and courting the wimmenz with cask-strength misogyny. Great plan, guys. If there's one thing bitches love, it's generalizations based on gender.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      I'm tellin' ya. I got through about five of those before I gave up and left. They ain't never gonna get NO wimminz this way.

  • Huevos Ocupados

    Oh fuck! Not the sane guy! Anybody but the sane guy!

    • SorosBot

      He's only sane by comparison to the other clowns.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Isak the goat is a shill.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    T. J. Huntsmania hasn't done a whole lot since the Raiders signed him.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Libunatic

    If Huntsman can tap into the important Vermin Supreme voting demographic, he should be just fine.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Vermin Supreme is WAY funnier.

  • Guppy

    Women reluctant to vote for man seeking to repeal Nineteenth Amendment. Film at 11.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      To Paultardz' Surprise, Bitches Won't Vote For Old Man Who Wants All Up In Their Uteri.

      What the fuck is the matter with these cunts, do they think they're PEOPLE or something? It's just like all those nigrahs complaining about the Good Doctor's RACISM when we ALL know that it's BLAH people who are the REEL rasists.

      Read the comments on the linked story, if you dare. Every Paultard in the country seems to be logged in to WT.

  • neiltheblaze

    You know – the other bland, faceless former governor.

  • chicken_thief

    The guy who is most fam… zzzzzzzzzzzz