signs of the apocalypse

Media Now Trying To Kill Ron Paul’s Campaign With TOO MUCH Attention

Celebrity life is hard.

Remember how Ron Paul has been shuffling around complaining, for decades, about the newz media always ignoring his presidential campaigns to death? Those were the days! Now he is complaining that they are MOBBING his campaign, also to death, because of an actual mob of journalists who chased after him into a New Hampshire diner and then victoriously announced they had him surrounded, to prevent him from hanging out with voters, or something. Why can’t they just be obsessively attentive in peace?

From The Hill:

Barely able to move through the restaurant as hundreds of journalists and videographers surrounded him on all sides, Paul ignored the questions being lobbed at him and slowly inched through the restaurant, offering a few autographs to supporters along the way.

“Guys, you’ve got to take it easy,” shouted one Paul staffer, imploring the media to give the congressman some space.

No such luck.

“Ron Paul: We have you surrounded. We are the media,” sounded the voice from a megaphone as Paul staffers ushered him into a waiting SUV, just minutes after he arrived at the restaurant.

So who was the cocky goon with the megaphone, probably Wolf Blitzer?

Holding the megaphone was a man dressed roughly as a wizard, with shaggy hair and tousled beard, wearing a massive black boot upside down on his head.

Yeah, Wolf Blitzer.

(UPDATE: Just kidding, maybe? The screaming wizard might also be real American hero and presidential candidate Vermin Supreme, who will be leading in the polls next week. SAME DIFFERENCE.)

Anyway, then some dingbat from CNN asked Ron Paul in an interview afterward why he loathes New Hampshire voters so much that his hatred would cause him (?) to flee a suffocating crush of reporters, to which Paul responded by wandering away in disgust:

Hooray, so that happened! Ron Paul also reiterated his pledges to dismantle the Department of Education and to withdraw the U.S. from the United Nations today, but… meh. [The Hill/ The Caucus blog]

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    1. not that Dewey

      Only through Vermin Supreme's dilligent campaigning over the years have certain questions and issues of policy come to the foreground, specifically…

      Dental Hygiene Law
      Flying Monkey Public Safety Assurance Program
      Time Travel Research Funding

      Yup. He's got my vote.

      1. CthuNHu

        You forgot his "Pony for every American" program.

        (Note: Everyone will be required to have his/her pony with him/her at all times.)

    2. dailyworldwatch

      The mob is chasing me! They are chasing…no I mean literally! THEY ARE…HOLY SHIT! Throwing bricks! Hey…Hey! I can see a gun…OH My!

      We can't get out! We can't get out! They are coming!

    3. Dr Ozark Hellbender

      Thank god–this could be the right candidate to pick up the "End Traffic-Stop Slavery" torch dropped by Basil Marceaux.

      Or any other bright shiny objects in his path.

      1. not that Dewey

        Apparently, he's in favor of it.

        EDIT: Sorry. I thought you said "what is his position on being TOO DAMN HIGH?"

  1. anniegetyerfun

    I have a drastically different definition of what constitutes a "pin-up" than libertarians, apparently.

    1. SorosBot

      As I mentioned on the post on the Pin-Ups for Paul site, the redhead looks good and um, yeah just her.

        1. flamingpdog

          Or is it really Madam Ted Nugent? Inquiring minds want to know!

          OK, not really, thanks anyway.

      1. Nostrildamus

        You go into a campaign with the models you can afford, not the models you'd like to be able to afford.

  2. AlterNewt

    " …a man dressed roughly as a wizard, with shaggy hair and tousled beard, wearing a massive black boot upside down on his head."

    So, Phish is back together?

    1. noodlesalad

      Paultard Hobbits really are amazing creatures. You can learn all about their ways in a month, and yet after a hundred primaries they can still surprise you, with stupidity.

  3. SorosBot

    Poor Ron; fist the media says he might be racist just because he used to write a bunch of racist articles in his racist newsletter, now they want to ask him questions.

      1. SorosBot

        That's true; how dare I suggest that he wrote those articles just because his name was on them, they included a bunch of "I" statements and he claimed authorship at the time when now he's claimed someone else wrote them, and he published the articles under his name without even reading them, without providing any evidence or giving any indication who really wrote them if he didn't..

        1. Fare la Volpe

          That kind of cynical pass-the-buckmanship is why I know he'd be great in the White House.

          Ron Paul / Irresponsibility 2012!

        2. lnardozi

          Because of course it's utterly impossible for one person to write something for another person's magazine… like…. I'm… doing… now.

          When I look at the level of proof required to convince anyone of anything I understand deficit spending perfectly.

    1. GeneralTapioca

      The Paulestinians are out in force in comment sections decrying the shameless media horde, which was probably part of the NWO's plan to keep Paul from reaching the voters. (Actual comment).

      Three weeks ago, they were spitting mad the media wouldn't cover the guy. Maybe the last porridge will be juuuust right.

      1. Dr Ozark Hellbender

        Property is the Holy of Holies. Taxation is theft.

        Left is right, up is down, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength, and RON PAUL IS AMERICA!!!!!!


    1. Mahousu

      He's been playing a parody fundamentalist character named "Rick Santorum" lately. Funny, but I don't think it's his best work.

      Earlier, he was doing this wacky guy called "Herman Cain." Completely over-the-top, but everyone he meets just tries and pretends like nothing's out of the ordinary.

    1. glamourdammerung

      As I have often said, Paultards are abrasive asses simply to be so often enough that if they had any common sense, they would dread folks enacting some "rational self interest".

    2. Tsunami Ali

      Ran into a group of student at an Indian Restaurant where I was hoping to have a quiet dinner with my husband – thought, "aw, how cute, a bunch of nerds going out to dinner together," and then one of them opened his mouth and I knew they were Paultards. My husband was like, "how do you know they're Paultards?" and I replied, "because from what they're saying they seem kind of stupid and mean-spirited." They were organizing some media event, I gathered, from their rather loud maunderings in a nearly empty restaurant.

  4. noodlesalad

    Ron Paul was surprised that the yelling voices in his mind have externalized and taken human form (and whatever Wolf Blitzer is, reverse lycanthrope?).

  5. Data Exactly

    "Ron Paul: We have you surrounded. We are the media,” sounded the voice from a megaphone as Paul staffers ushered him into a waiting SUV, just minutes after he arrived at the restaurant."

    "Holding the megaphone was a man dressed roughly as a wizard, with shaggy hair and tousled beard, wearing a massive black boot upside down on his head."

    Just when you think you can trust one person – just ONE PERSON in the world… He lets you down by revealing he is part of the media conglomerate. Not the Vermin Supreme I know.

  6. Steverino247

    Yeah, like withdrawing from the League of Nations worked our really well. I guess too much enlightened self interest is a bad thing, eh?

    1. Banelm

      No no never! Not enough if anything! We should have withdrawn from the League, then invaded France First!

  7. Come here a minute

    … a man dressed roughly as a wizard, with shaggy hair …

    We were wondering whatever happened to Riley Waggs.

  8. PuckStopsHere

    Why would anyone want to ask Ron Paul a question? Wouldn't you be just as well off to put the same inquiry–no matter what it might be–to Larry the cable guy?

  9. Callyson

    “Ron Paul: We have you surrounded. We are the media,” sounded the voice from a megaphone
    Now, could the business media please do the same to Lloyd Blankfein?

  10. coolhandnuke

    Paul is obviously suffering from microphone envy. Jeez, that furry bulbous wand she's wielding might even make Sir Ron Jeremy a wee cowardly.

    1. Negropolis

      Those aren't eyebrows. They are a rare species of carnivorous, parasitic, flesh-boring caterpillars.

  11. mavenmaven

    When he is Leader he will have "the media" put into special "camps". We will all be "Austrians" after the "Paul-schluss".

  12. littlebigdaddy

    Is that photo a publicity poster for the forthcoming feature film "Bilbo Baggins in the land of the Trannies?"

  13. user-of-owls

    I went to Vermin Supreme's website and I was totally ready to vote for the guy. But then I noticed that he misspelled 'apparatchik' and, well, I just can't support a man who would do something like that.

          1. Radiotherapy

            My Franklin ACE 1000 (with a dial-up modem nonetheless) for some reason makes it tough to adhere to Godwin's Law. e.g You no hoo else cunt spell?
            Sorry Dok, I'm an Ursula K. Leguin fan too.

  14. user-of-owls

    They really should have a special exhibit at the Smithsonian that does nothing but run the "Sniff Of Disgust" at around 1:39 on an endless loop.

    It could serve as a sort of Perpetual Flame of Old Man Contempt.

    1. flamingpdog

      Nice. Those 10-year-olds chasing the Beatles? Are all my age now … Time to open up another bottle of merlot.

    1. natoslug

      The wrinkly foreskin in the center keeps distracting me. Why did they have to include a life-sized herpetic schlong on the cover of Equestrian Weekly?

    2. flamingpdog

      I rather stick with the womens that scream "Oh, God, oh God" rather than "Oh, gold, oh gold" when they orgasm.

  15. BarackMyWorld

    I wonder…is there any correlation between that Ron Paul calendar photo and his position on legalizing prostitution?

    1. anniegetyerfun

      I sincerely thought at first that it was one of those terrible computer renderings, like the Taiwanese animations. But I think that they might be real people. Well, as real as being 50% will allow.

  16. Redhead

    NPR on the way home from work today was airing a piece about Ron Paul's endorsements.

    By Kelly Clarkson (stretching 15 minutes of American Idol fame into five years!) and some "legal prostitute" with a TV show. Just give it up man.

  17. PsycWench

    It was all fun and games until there was a human barrier between him and home fries.

    Oh crap, I'm thinking of Chris Christie.

  18. Dr Ozark Hellbender

    From Making Light*:

    On the surface, Paul talks like a libertarian with a mixed bag of daffy ideas that makes him attractive to a variety of non-orthodox political types. But if you dig into his record even a little bit you find that he walks just like a Republican, (albeit one with a byzantine mind and a super villain's fondness for overly complicated gambits).

    Add in his obsessions with the gold standard and he's a shark tank away from being a Bond Villain.


    * Which, unlike Our Wonkette, is NOT blocked at work…

  19. natoslug

    Worst. Clownshow. Ever. And what's with the pink-face? I always thought they did whiteface. I want my money back. Or I would if I had spent money, but that was too bad to even consider spending money. Money's a funny word. It rhymes with honey. Is it warm in here? I think it's warm in here. My mouth tastes funny. Say, isn't Ron going to legalize the drugs for us? He's got my vote. Nothing like a man with a moat. I like his stoats and all, but I think the caterpillars need to finish their duels. That forehead isn't safe until everything is settled. It's warm in here, isn't it? God, I'd kill for another bag of chips right now.

  20. Joshua Norton

    Shorter Ron Paul:

    "You people NEVER pay attention to me. And when you do, it's too much."

    Head. Hurts.

    1. Sue4466

      Because I only want you to pay attention to what I say, not try to discern whether it's bullshit or not.

    2. Dr Ozark Hellbender

      He loves us! He hates us! We're just not good enough for him…so he keeps us on a pedestal.

      Oh, Dr. Paul…I wish I could quit you.

  21. Negropolis

    Dana Bash and John King are husband and wife, and yes, they are made for each other. They are both equally insufferable. That said, the Paul staffer has thuggish tendencies, no doubt. He looks like he would have punched her out if he thought he could get away with it.

  22. Negropolis

    This is no country for old men, Ron. No country for old men, indeed.

    EDIT: Gawd, that idiot Steve Kornacki is on O'Donnell with his Batman's Joker grin. It just eats me up, that shit-eating grin.

  23. ttommyunger

    As another, more famous Missourian once proclaimed: "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!" I think Paul's biscuits are burning.

    1. Negropolis

      Ole Sam Clemens would have had a field day with our modern politics. I didn't even know him, and I miss him.

    1. flamingpdog

      Could we please just ship both Jack and Mitt to China so they can live with our jobs until the day they die?

  24. Millennial Malaise

    Like all the boobs before him, Ron Paul has finally been granted the double edged gift of scrutiny. Sure, he's smarter and more capable than almost all of them (you know Mittens2000 is upgraded as often as iTunes) but he's still too scary right ring for most sane-minded Americans.

    The reason John Huntsman will never get a chance at bat is because the Mormon quota is full. Know your role and get back in line!

  25. lnardozi

    Oh, my goodness they SHOULD be worried. I have a made a promise (and so have a lot of my friends) that if Dr. Paul is not nominated, NO REPUBLICAN WILL RECEIVE MY VOTE. And that's speaking as a Republican of 30 years. I've even set up a website where you can pledge to Dr. Paul as well. I'm not going to let the only candidate I've seen in the past 30 years that isn't the lesser of two evils slip by! My vote might well be the one that elects my senators, congressmen, state senators, councilmen, governors, judges, etc. but I'm willing to pass it up if Ron Paul isn't on the ticket. You WILL provide us with candidates that adhere to the Liberty platform or we will make sure that NONE OF YOU are reelected.

    1. SorosBot

      Yes, we should all make sure Mr. Paul is nominated; because let's face it, seeing his crazy ranting the entire campaign would be funny, and guarantee Obama's reelection.

      Or do you actually think we should support the racist, woman-hating, anti-freedom crazy old man with insane ideas on economics because he happens to be good on the military and the war on drugs?

        1. Tsunami Ali

          True fact:

          Is mass-ssarati sha mushi lipshuru ruxisha limnuti
          Pisha lu-u ZAL.LU Lishanusha Lu-u Tabtu
          Sha iqbu-u amat limutti-ia kima ZAL.LU litta-tuk
          qi-ishrusha pu-uttu-ru ipshetusha xulluqu
          Kal amatusha malla-a sseri
          Ina qibit iqbu-u ilani mushitum

          But I hear Dr. Cthulhu is down with marijuana, too.

    2. Negropolis

      Gawd. You guys are like roaches; you're everywhere. Hell, Jim Jones, himself, couldn't inspire this level of fervor, though, we'll all celebrate when you get orders from the Paulian mothership to take that route…

    3. Huevos Ocupados

      Are you sure? The Republicans have several other perfectly acceptable crazy racist candidates who would love to destroy the government.

    4. natoslug

      Wrong windmill, dude. This crowd is perfectly happy having none of us elected. Hell, I don't think any of us are running, anyway. A fast walk, maybe.

      I realize I shouldn't ridicule you followers of the One True Hobbit, so I'll give you a quick clue, probably the first in your life: We are happy with NONE of the current crop of GOP candidates winning anything. Your misdirected zeal might explain why the "And Ron Paul stayed flat" meme just won't go away. Try your schtick on a site that might actually support Grandpa Catterpillerbrows or one of the other members of the GOP Comedy Tour.

  26. Huevos Ocupados

    What a rugged individualist! By the way, if you aren’t comfortable being in the midst of a chaotic mob out to get you in the name of self interest then you might want to rethink the whole Libertarian thing, Dr Asshat.

  27. not that Dewey

    If ever, oh ever a wiz there was
    this Vermin Supreme is one because
    because because because because because
    because of the wonderful things he does

  28. Terry

    I heard on NPR this morning that the crowd of people, other than the press, was actually made up of a busload of high school students from Massachusetts that a teacher brought in as a class trip.

    So, Paul goes to a crowded campaign event to be met by reporters and a whole bunch of people not able to vote in the primary.

  29. owhatever

    Ron Paul peered through the mob of mediameat and actually saw the guy with the megaphone, relieved to find someone who thought as he did.

  30. DahBoner

    ""If you have ever been robbed by a old, white male Republican, you know how unbelievably slow and stupid they can be."

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