Following Monday’s only news story, a 22-year-old Australian woman surviving a bungee cord failing after she jumped into South Africa’s Zambezi River, Tim Pawlenty emerged from the floppy disk drive of our minds to compare his failed presidential bid to jumper Erin Langworthy’s lucky break.
Pawlenty, in an interview with Martha MacCallum on Fox News, began the interview by saying, “By the way, the video of that failed bungee jump kind of reminded me of my own presidential campaign.” EEYORE! Come back to us! Our attention isn’t adequately dispersed amongst fools now that Bachmann is gone.
Pawlenty, who dropped out of the race on what now seems to be the ridiculously early date of August 14 and endorsed Mitt Romney in September, would certainly agree with Langworthy’s description of her fall as feeling like you’ve been “slapped all over.”
The Eeyore behavior didn’t stop there: at the end of the interview, MacCallum called Pawlenty the “famed bungee jumper and governor,” to which Pawlenty replied, “Failed bungee jumper.” Alright then. Unfortunately it’s not stopping the former candidate from going around defending Romney against the Bain attacks his rivals are now in the process of ramping up. [Politico]
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Look who's talking about broken infrastructure now. How many potential voters did you kill on that bridge over the Mississippi?
Except a bungee jump fail is exciting.
Especially while avoiding hungry crocodiles.
I think I have a new way to decide the republican primary……
Tim who?….zzzzzzzzzz
He has that effect on…zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Again, a wingnut with a terrible history of bridges, invokes a bridge reference. Mittens and pink slips, Fat Jesus and pie and now this? What have we done right, dear lord?
I'll feel fully vindicated if tomorrow we get Rick Santorum relating an anecdote about sucking big blah cock.
Langworthy’s description of her fall as feeling like you’ve been “slapped all over.”
I know the feeling. (That was Tuesday.)
~
Yikes! But I think Pawlenty's campaign showed much more damage.
Oh. Ow!
Is that yours? Poor ifthethunderdontgetya.
But of course he had to drop out, he lost the all-important Ames straw poll, I mean look how much winning it has done for Michele Bachmann's campaign.
Good analogy, except for the surviving part.
And the exciting part.
This is what happens when you privatize bungee cord inspectors. You end up in an African river full of Crocodiles and Lions.
Does the African river full of Crocodiles and Lions not trickle down? Huh? It does, so there!
Yes it does, all the way to the Indian Ocean.
The crocodiles are bad enough, but the most dangerous is actually herbivorous hippopotamus.
This is true. A few years ago my Coffee connection guy told me he could get me some special African coffee and I pre-ordered 2 lbs. It took like 3 months to get because it was Hippo breeding season and the African guys were too afraid to bring the coffee down the river by boat. They had to wait until the Hippos were done with their business before they could get the coffee down the river to market.
Those Hippos. What a bunch of Nazis.
A moose once bit my sister…
I wouldn't want to get fucked by a hippo either.
Chris Christie has a sad
I know! The SF Zoo had one named Puddles that could shit on people from across the moat!
Puddles 2012! Why bother with candidates who only shit on you figuratively?
Hey now, Chris Christie only attacks when someone tries to get some of his pie.
The image of Christie stuffing his face with pie is a great appetite suppressant.
Not to him.
Tim Pawlenty's remarks are adequately incoherent but lack racism and stuff about the Bible. I am afraid I cannot take them seriously
Hey Tim, timing's a bitch, isn't it.
Oh please, like Timmeh would ever do something as remotely exciting as bungee jumping. I imagine his idea of cutting loose would be driving 2 MPH over the posted speed limit on the interstate.
14 items in the express check-out at the grocery. Livin' dangerous!!
His predilection for hockey fight videos makes him pretty butch though.
Sorry T-Paw, your run was a 6 month long blooper reel that wasn't really funny.
T-Paw works for Mittens now? It's the bland leading the bland!
Reblanding his image…
Some of their best friends are Blands.
They need a Codfather like Marlin Blando.
In the general he going to need all the Bland vote he can get because he surely won't get much of the Blah or Brah vote.
I'll be sorely disappointed if T-Paw did not deliver this self-mockery in his classiest Yosemite Sam dialect. Flailing at the end of a rope facing a long drop into the deep beyond, is an motif befitting this great nation's Looney Tunes heritage.
That Timmy. So Wile E!
I can identify with Tim. Whenever I read or hear about something really amazing or unexpected, I immediately make it all about me.
This post can't be improved upon, but it reminds me of the time I………………..
I see what you did there! Just like that time I…..
Needs moar Pete Hoekstra, also, too.
Sarah P, is that you?
Let me guess. You teach Psych 350/PoliSci 350 Narcissism in American Electorial Politics.
A survey of American history, also too.
That you, Sarah?
I'm sure that after being in the water after her fall, Langworthy must have vomited when she got to shore, which is exactly the same experience as endorsing Mitt Romney.
She should sue!
Look, if you're going to jump off a bridge wearing nothing but a big rubber-band and free fall 365 feet into an African river full of Crocodiles, the last thing you want to worry about is that it is safe or not.
That thrill-seeking Sheila, at least, got her fucking money's worth and then some!!
Also, a great story to tell. Now T Pawly, on the other hand…
Geography clarification: The Zambezi River is in Southern Africa, not in the country of South Africa.
Sarah Palin says "Huh?"
Wait. I thought Africa was a country?
The lady who fell into the Zambezi dropped 365 feet before she hit the river. Tim's campaign was just like that, except it was more like jumping off a footstool and landing flat on one's face on the kitchen floor.
The lady who fell into the Zambezi dropped 365 feet before she hit the river. Tim's campaign was just like that, except it was more like
jumping off a footstooltripping over one's shoelaces and landing flat on one's face on the kitchen floor.Fixed.
The analogy would be better if the bungeer (???) fell into a river, went over a waterfall, crawled up on shore only to fall off a cliff into a cactus patch, crawl out the patch into a rattlesnake den, escape, find a road and hitchhike only to get picked up by someone in a pickup with Trucknutz and a bumper sticker that says “Jeffrey Dahmer for President”.
…hauling a refrigerator.
Like the time Homer Simpson fell down a ravine (after skateboarding mishap?) only to have his head repeatedly banged on the side of the cliff as helicopter brings him back up strapped to gurney. "D'Oh, D'Oh, D'Oh, etc.
That is my absolute favorite, tho I'm also fond of the sarcasm detector.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjCms0X_4RE
365 feet!?! Hell, my nuts suck themselves up into my abdominal cavity when I have to get on a stepstool to get the oversized salad bowl out of the cabinet above the refrigerator. Don't think I could handle that…
And Tebow thinks Jayzus is looking out for him.
GOP economic analysis of the situation at 364 feet: "so far, so good!"
The invisible hand of gravity.
Today, we are all jumping headlong off a bridge.
Hell, it seems like we have been falling off this bridge for a long time. Which dream depth level are we in?? Second? Third? Fourth?
Are there donuts here?
Poor Timmy. There has to be a bunch of crocodiles and snapped bungee cords to make a post about him remotely interesting.
It's like nascar, boring as hell aside from the occasional 5-car pile-up.
Can we sic Lassie on Timmy?
Would someone just push this guy off a bridge already? I mean, he's asking for it. Essentially.
Probably the only self-insightful and true thing a Repub has uttered in the last 10 years.
Equating a GOP Presidential run to jumping headfirst into a crocodile infested river 365 feet down? That sounds about right to me.
A Democrat taking on the Presidency, with the current crop of morons in Congress, is an even better analogy.
I'm just glad he didn't somehow turn it into a Nazi metaphor.
That's Rich Iott's job.
My mom, at 63, actually went on a zip-line over the Zambezi river last summer, at Victoria Falls; my dad chickened out in it. I'm kind of proud of her for that.
Your mom kicks ass!
Thanks!
She is awesome, we all bow down to Mother of Soros Bot.
Shit- I could be your mom- not the zipline- the age! I did however bravely eat many pastries and chocolates in Paris this year- also a dangerous thing at my age.
I'll bet not a day goes by that Timmah doesn't wake up and wish hateful shit on Michele Bachmann.
Why in Tim's Minnesota you didn't even need a bungee cord to crash into the Mississippi. With astute republican leaders such as Tim, I know we will be bungee jumping or some other crazy shit, just to get enough cash together for dinner.
Erin can jump my bungee any time, if you get my drift.
Eeyore libel
Good thing Santorum didn't bungee jump…think of the mess that gravity and the sudden stop would cause.
I certainly wish this young lady all the best – and she's been through a lot already.
However, given the nature of her experience she must have swallowed about 5 quarts of that river water, which probably is full of gastly microbes and other nasty tiny creatures. She'd better haul off and get every shot known to man and beast.
Otherwise, this story may not have a happy ending, after all…
Thank fucking God Chis Christie didn't come up with that analogy, we would still be vomiting at the thought of his pie-laden arse going off a bridge.
If that Dirigible-With-Limbs had a bungee jump failure, it would make the collision of Haley's comet into earth look as though someone had dropped a billiard ball on the lawn.
Those crocodiles would have had food for a year.
I don't think there is such a thing as a Chris-Christie-strength bungee cord.
I don't know, but I'm really liking the basic idea of the entire field of GOP candidates jumping off a cliff into a crocodile infested river. The surviving part… meh. Not so interesting.
I can imagine them not even noticing their plunge into the water, just blathering on and on about the usual stupid shit as the crocodiles masticate their legs.
I would like to see one l's skull implode in the crocodiles jaws as she screams "I'm a legitimate candid–" *CRUNCH*
I was hoping for video; I've got five bucks riding on him growing that Mullet back.
And here you come up with the one option I would rather get fucked by a hippo. Very good.
At least after the hippo fucked my I could have some self respect.
Oh, God, I fear this comment is too late in the thread's life to get the many pee points it deserves.
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