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Romney Likes Firing People

i fart money

After Mitt Romney’s on-the-defensive appearance in Sunday morning’s MSNBC/Facebook debate, the frontrunner showed up at the Nashua Chamber of Commerce in Nashua, NH Monday to give an address in which he admitted that he “likes being able to fire people who provide services to me.” The context was health care: Romney evidently thought that the word “fire” would be an appropriate term for what Americans could do if they weren’t happy about their health care provider. But ummmm, can you go away now, The Man?

The video:

Just. Stop. Talking. The awkward comment comes just a day after Romney made a very baloneyesque remark about pink slips at an event in Rochester, NH, as he attempted damage control after Sunday morning erased our knowledge of his careen through Saturday night’s ABC debate. Standing before a seated crowd of 30 white people, the candidate leapt into the fire by announcing that he knew first-hand what it was like to worry about losing one’s job. That would presumably be gloved hand. The crowd looked psyched! Ann Romney most of all.

I know these are tough times. I’ve learned what it’s like to sign the front of a paycheck, not just the back of a paycheck. And to know how frightening it is to see if you can make payroll at the end of the week. These are experiences that many of you know … I know what it’s like to worry about whether you’re going to get fired. There were a couple of times I wondered if I was going to get a pink slip.

What were those times? Hey, shut up! It’s none of your business!

A Romney spokesperson said the campaign couldn’t pinpoint exactly when or in which job Romney was worried about having to borrow money from his father, but that it probably occurred when he was a young man working his way “up the career ladder.” That his father carved for him with his bare hands.

Perry joined in the criticisms Monday morning at a campaign stop at Mama Penn’s restaurant in Anderson, SC, saying:

Now I have no doubt that Mitt Romney was worried about pink slips — whether he was going to have enough of them to hand out because his company Bain Capital with all the jobs that they killed, I’m sure he was worried that he’d run out of pink slips.

Go, cattle rancher or whatever you are, go!

And we’ll leave the second-to-last word for an, ahem, Santorum supporter (friends close, enemies closer and all that), who heads up a New Hampshire-based PAC that is supporting the candidate (good luck with that). Said Jerry Delemus:

There’s a difference between getting fired and having millions of dollars in the bank and getting fired and not having any money to rely on.

And the last word:

soothsayer?

DARE TO THINK, AMERICA. Dare to think. [The Caucus, CBS News]

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville
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120 comments

  1. Barb

    They should have fired the people at Mattel who manufactured him.
    Liz, your twitter link to this story is broken.

    1. CthuNHu

      You know who else "likes being able to fire people who provide services to (him)"?

      Newt. After they get too old. That's who.

  2. pinkocommi

    Romney stands a fair chance of being "fired" by Republican voters as they desperately search out another candidate they like better than Mitt.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      This is the part of the primary season where all the Republicans are breaking their 11th Commandment.

      Popcorn, please.

  3. SorosBot

    Is Romney tired of being the front runner and trying to sink his own campaign? He's suddenly contacted a worse case of foot-in-mouth disease than Rick Perry.

  4. LetUsBray

    I'd like to think this nasty little android has provided the prez and the Democrats with more than enough sound bites to ruin him come the general election. But I've been following the Democrats' so-called act for a looooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnng time.

  5. SexySmurf

    …he admitted that he “likes being able to fire people who provide services to me.”

    But not as much as he likes having them deported.

  6. memzilla

    All Obama is going to have to do is edit together video clips of what the Rethuglican candidates are saying about each other.

    Romney, the Nosferatu of vampire capitalists, compares favorably to the bug queen from Aliens: takes over planets (companies), fires (kills) workers, off-shores (off-planets) their jobs, and poops out a small number of ruthless ruling class predators (ruthless ruling class predators).

    1. paris biltong

      He also believes that people who provide services for hims are in his employ, so that he can fire his doctor, dentist, lawyer and the guy who delivers his groceries. He's never heard of contracts?

      1. Dudleydidwrong

        I thought that was Trump's line. Oh, well, they're both assholes so they steal lines from each other.

  7. BarackMyWorld

    This guy is walking Democrat ad reel.

    At this point I'm expecting him to come out wearing a monocle and a tie with a dollar sign on it.

    1. GOPCrusher

      I'm beginning to get the impression that the Republiklan Party has decided to tank this election on purpose.

  8. Steverino247

    Think? Americans? Are you fucking kidding me? If the majority of voting Americans could think would we be in the mess we're in now?

  9. EatsBabyDingos

    "I hated to fire the guy that lights my cigars with hundred dollar bills, but he used a twenty! Can you believe it? A twenty!"

  10. Baconzgood

    "Now I have no doubt that Mitt Romney was worried about pink slips — whether he was going to have enough of them to hand out because his company Bain Capital with all the jobs that they killed, I’m sure he was worried that he’d run out of pink slips."

    BOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. kissawookiee

    Next, Mittens assures us he knows what it's like to choose between getting your kid's cavities filled or filling your gas tank so you can go to work, and what it's like to worry that the check you wrote to cover an alarmingly red-colored utility bill will bounce in the middle of winter, and what it's like to wonder if the ten-for-a-dollar ramen or ten-for-a-dollar mac 'n' "cheese" will be more delicious this week.

    Mitt: The Knower.

  12. EatsBabyDingos

    "Or the time I fired Mom for not cleaning my shirts right, and I got ring-around-the-collar!"

  13. freakishlywrong

    I wonder if corporations are people too, my friend counts when all that corporate money is funding really vicious anti-Romney super PACS? From here, it's simply fucking delish.

  14. SorosBot

    Mitt knows what it's like to fear losing the roof over your head because you can't afford the mortgage or rent, as he once was afraid he might have to sell one of his vacation homes.

  15. JustPixelz

    Romney touts his executive experience as a "job creator" at Bain Capital, let's remember he managed about 100 people. As governor of Massachusetts, he had vastly more employees but government experience doesn't count, right? And during his short tenure at the Olympics he probably spent most his time speaking French, "ce vin est-il frais?"

  16. Beetagger

    He forgot to finish the thought…. "and then after firing them, I like pissing on them and having my way with their vacant, empty eye sockets." Fixed.

  17. paris biltong

    Madame Romney probably wears pink slips and he's almost been able to get hold of one to wear on his face.

  18. Callyson

    “I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.”
    OK, the Obama re – election ads are done now, everyone can go home. Just remember to vote in November.

  19. Tundra Grifter

    So Mittens was for jobs ("I created 100,000 new jobs") before he was against them – unless, of course, a poll shows people are kind of scared of a candidate who brags telling workers to hit the bricks, in which case he'd be for jobs. Again.

  20. Callyson

    "There were a couple of times I wondered if I was going to get a pink slip."
    What were those times?
    Well, from what I've heard from people I know in Mass., one of those times might have been when he was considering running for re – election. The story I hear is he "chose" not to do so before the voters could fire him…

  21. chascates

    You'd think 8 years of GWB would have disabused people of the notion of having a businessman run the country. In 43's case his business acumen was abysmal and he made money only through his family connections. In Mitten's case his fortune was made as a corporate raider who laid off thousands.

    A community organizer doesn't look too bad after all.

  22. mrblifil

    Only pink slips he ever worried about were the ones he placed back in his Mom's lingerie drawer, hoping to approximate the exact position in which he found them.

  23. ttommyunger

    Gee Mitt, do you and your Stepford Sons like being punched in face real hard? You don't know, do you? 'Cause it's never happened; and it prolly never will, either. Entitled elitists are so funny.

  24. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Added Romney "Why should a person worry about being fired. I know I never did. Surely everyone has millions of dollars in their father's money to fall back on."

  25. JustPixelz

    The Go-Pee'ers and their Taliban-style religious supporters earnestly believe that firing and layoffs is how the economy has to work. If you (and your company) can't compete, you'll die in the marketplace. Any attempts to interfere — with regulations or bailouts or consumer protection — are artificial and involve "picking winners and losers", which is against god's will.

    Why then are they equally opposed to evolution? Nature evolves through competition, red in tooth and claw. Also through starvation, dehydration, migration and luck. (Ask the dinosaurs about their bad luck with that meteor.) The anti-evolution position is that God has organized nature with us (humans + Callista) on top as the winners. (Hooray for us!)

    But if God picks winners and losers in nature, why not in the market too? Put differently: God seems to love China. God also loves Saudia Arabia and Lady GaGa. Just look at their P&Ls. He doesn't seem too fond of Christian America these days. I sure it has something to do with the non-heterosexuals. You're move Pat Robertson.

    1. GOPCrusher

      But Pat Robertson said the other day that God told him who the next President was going to be, but then God told him to keep his pie hole shut about it.
      Guess it would take all the fun out of it, if Pat came out and said Obama is going to win in a landslide.

  26. elviouslyqueer

    Um, Mitt. Failing epically in a re-election bid and then falling back on your $125 million (or so) family fortune is not, I repeat, NOT the same as being pink-slipped.

    Just go away, High Bains Grifter.

  27. EBGrey

    "I like firing people who provide services to me."

    Gov Romney went on to explain, "My 'shine boy' did not not adequately buff my penny loafers…You're fired! My footman did not obsequiously bow whilst I entered my Bently…You're fired! My personal chef failed to adequately slather Grey Poupon on my terrine? He's fired! I'm sure you all have had similar experiences with your help. Amiright?"

  28. JackDempsey1

    The humiliating part of being fired isn't the "ever-so-gay" pink slip.
    The humiliating part of being fired is carrying your work life to your car in a box.
    If he had actually worked somewhere in the past 2 decades, he'd know this.

  29. Terry

    "There were a couple of times I wondered if I was going to get a pink slip."

    Elections don't count, Mitt.

  30. neiltheblaze

    Romney's often really good at this sort of thing – saying utterly clueless shit that makes him look utterly clueless. When he ran against Kennedy for the Senate back in 1994, he thought he'd score some points by vilifying the entire Dorchester section of Boston in the final debate (which was also notable for how efficiently and cleanly Kennedy surgically removed Mitt's jugular without breaking a sweat) in his most sneering and patrician manner. The result? The voters in Dorchester and South Boston came out to the polls in droves to vote against him.

    So, not only is this completely in character, it's not over. Expect this very sort of thing from now until November if he makes it to the nomination. Good times.

    1. Negropolis

      I'm interested. How exactly did he scapegoat/vilify Dorchester? I've really love to hear about it.

      1. neiltheblaze

        The direct quote from the debate: “I was in Dorchester not long ago. Someone said, ‘This is Kennedy country,’ and they handed a sign to me in front of my face. And I looked around and I saw boarded-up buildings, and I saw jobs leaving, and I said, ‘It looks like it'."

        Writing it out like this doesn't quite register the sneering contempt with which he said it – which was an essential element. Dorchester then was predominantly Irish Catholic and African American – both huge constituencies of Kennedy's. The crack, on paper, looks like a crack against Kennedy – but that wasn't how it was perceived in the community. It was perceived as a crack against the Neighborhoods of Boston – which is like stepping on a socioeconomic land mine. Romney was regarded as a snooty outsider who didn't understand or even care about Dorchester or their problems.

        I believe we'll see a lot of that very same quality in the new year – because this is who Mitt is.

  31. proudgrampa

    "Has become thinkable that Romney could lose tomorrow. Certainly not likely but thinkable."

    One can only hope…

  32. Wilcoxyz

    I know what it's like to be homeless. When we quadrupled the size of our La Jolla beachfront home, we couldn't live there. We had to go to Aspen to ski. And that's expensive, my friends.

  33. BaldarTFlagass

    "I’ve learned what it’s like to sign the front of a paycheck, not just the back of a paycheck. "

    "But my specialty is signing pink slips."

    1. Loaded_Pants

      "I’ve learned what it’s like to sign the front of a paycheck…" As though that's some sort of accomplishment. I learned what it was like, too…y'know back when I could actually write them.

  34. owhatever

    Mittens and his family get to share a single can of hobo beans every day, and let the dog lick the can. A life of struggle on the trail of tears. Sadz

  35. Chet Kincaid

    There's a new anti-Mitt TV campaign featuring some guy named Ben Grimm, who apparently was horribly disfigured by a scientific experiment Mitt convinced him to participate in. This Grimm also claims Mitt caused his own brother-in-law to burst into flames.

  36. cheaphits

    The right wing is always telling us with "rights go responsibilities". – the problem that an upper tier business manager has a golden parachute, a legislator may not be reelected, but he gets a large retirement and moves to lobbying (where he may have more influence than he did in congress) and a judge who wrongly convicts someone pays no price at all.

    Small businessmen end up in bankruptcy, people who get laid off or fired may get unemployment benefits a few weeks and how many people are given (or can count on) retirement benefits now? And it goes without saying that if you lock someone away where others beat and rape them bad things can and should happen to you.

    There is no price for these people to pay…bring back tar and feathers!

  37. Nostrildamus

    "There were a couple of times I wondered if I was going to get a pink slip."

    I've underestimated Ann Romney. She's clearly a kick-ass dom.

  38. stew1

    Just watching their faces light up when they realize they will no longer be able to pay for their kids' medical bills….Ahhhh! Sex, baby!

  39. Data Exactly

    Wow, Mitt Romney should go from inevitable winner in New Hampshire to 3rd place at best with this gem. We like firing people too, Romney.

  40. jakegittes

    I hear the jobs a leavin'
    They're headed to Shenzhen,
    And I ain't paid the same tax,
    As most American men,
    I'm stuck in a Boston highrise,
    As money keeps rollin' in,
    But those jobs keep a leavin',
    On down to Vietnam.

    When I was just a baby,
    My Papa told me, "Son,
    Always be a rich boy,
    Don't ever play with poors,"
    But I fired a man in Reno,
    Just to watch him cry,
    When I see those jobs a leavin',
    I get in my jet and fly.

    You know there's rich folks eatin',
    In a fancy dining car,
    We're always drinkin' Starbucks,
    And smokin' big cigars,
    But you know you had it comin',
    You know you can't be free,
    Because you people keep a-losin',
    And that's what enriches me.

    Well, if they freed me from this highrise,
    If that railroad train was mine,
    I bet I'd get more income,
    As well as a coal mine,
    Far from a Boston highrise,
    That's where I want to stay,
    In my mansion in La Jolla,
    While I blow those jobs away.

    MITT ROMNEY'S BOSTON HIGHRISE BLUES

    With apologies to Johnny Cash

  41. lulzmonger

    "What I like to fire are people, my friends!"

    Romney still hasn't quite taken it all the way into "My fellow prisoners …" territory yet, but give the poor thing time to work up to it. Proof that MittBot has some Teflon goin' on: compare this to when Dean got burned down over a yell. IOKIYACyborg.

    One wonders if the RNC is now actively throwing the elections for POTUS (which looks bound to remain a weakened scapegoat gig for the foreseeable future) to try to maintain a lock on seats in Congress, where all the REAL money is. But such crazy-talk assumes that they would put mere filthy lucre over their own country – & that would be utter madness!

  42. Negropolis

    Mitt also likes pleasuring himself atop a bed of pink slips, but I guess this is neither here nor there…

    Mitt wishes he was half the man his daddy was.

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