SOMEONE WANTS THE VEEP SLOT  12:32 pm January 9, 2012

NJ Strongman Chris Christie Will Not Share Pie with Obama or Anyone Else

by Kaia Mursi

No pies, no piece! Apparently since dull turd Mitt Romney’s campaign message “Comrade Barack Obama is only here to steal yer munnies” comes across like he is just some anxious unlikable rich guy worrying over his fortune, hahaha which he is, Mittens’ sweaty-shiny new campaign trail attack frog Chris Christie will polish it up with something a little bit more relatable to the oversize Republican base, like a dessert food metaphor. Ready for it? Chris Christie is not about to let Barack Obama steal his chunk of the pie, guys!

On Sunday, Christie addressed a gaggle of New Hampshirites who had the misfortune to accidentally wander into a Mitt Romney “rally” (euphemism). The National Review catapults the propaganda thusly:

Referring to President Obama’s class warfare rhetoric, Christie said that Obama’s solution was to take “pie” from those who had a bigger “piece,” keep the bulk of it, and then give some to those with a smaller piece. In contrast to that,  “what Mitt Romney believes [is] that the size of the American piece is infinite,” Christie said.

Extended metaphor about infinite pie? Someone sounds EXCITED!!!! [National Review]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 183 comments }

Barb January 9, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Christie has more Chins than the Shanghai white pages.

OneDollarJuana January 9, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I almost made a correction, but I didn't.

JustPixelz January 9, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Fun fact: In China most people have one of a small number of surnames. They call them "The 100 Families" (Bǎijiāxìng). It's part mythology, as there are many more than 100 family names. But most Chinese have one of those 100 names.

My Chinese name — given to me by a member of the Wang family (stop it! are you in third grade?) — is Qing Wa. Which probably means "smart and good looking".

HateMachine January 9, 2012 at 1:11 pm

It's entirely possible that I misunderstood in my Mandarin 1010 class last semester, but the doesn't character for the "Wang" surname means 'king'?

Somehow that just compounds the entendres for me. Especially since my textbook featured a person in its sample dialogue that kept being called Xiao (little) Wang.

PalinzADummy January 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Zhen de ma? Looks more like it means "small yellow frog."

Radiotherapy January 9, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I'll bet there are plenty of Pei's.

PalinzADummy January 9, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Dammit, Barb, that's MY line! Besides, it's "more Chins than the HongKong telephone book." Sheesh.

(Hugs the Barb sneakily anyway)

CapnFatback January 9, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Saaayyy . . . I think I saw your act. Did you open for Joey Bishop at the Sands in '62?

Loaded_Pants January 9, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Christie yells at the microwave: "Hurry!"

My apologies to Joan Rivers.

nounverb911 January 9, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Sorry, Christie already ate all the pie.

cheaphits January 9, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Bye, Bye, American pie.

SorosBot January 9, 2012 at 12:34 pm

A guy the size of Christie is talking about pie? He's making it awfully hard to avoid the easy fat jokes.

Barb January 9, 2012 at 12:45 pm

He makes it easy to talk about the 500 lb gorilla in the room.

Tundra Grifter January 9, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Remember what Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said about Boss BlunderRush?

"They call him the 800-pound gorilla in the room. That really isn't fair. He probably doesn't weigh more than 400."

VinnyThePooh January 9, 2012 at 12:35 pm

That's a big Twinkie.

Come here a minute January 9, 2012 at 12:35 pm

The Republican philosophy is that the pie is infinite, but I'm still not giving you any!

starfanglednut January 9, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Absolute. Win.

RavenRant January 9, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Seconded.

pinkocommi January 9, 2012 at 12:35 pm

“what Mitt Romney believes [is] that the size of the American piece is infinite”

Kind of like Christie's waistline.

nounverb911 January 9, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Needs more Monty Python exploding diner jokes.

proudgrampa January 9, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Your link didn't go anywhere for me. But "Bring me a bucket!" is the best line ever in all of moviedom.

Steverino247 January 9, 2012 at 2:08 pm

After all, the Republican platform is wafer thin.

Loaded_Pants January 9, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I'm starting to wonder what the daily average is for references/links to Monty Python are among the comments.

Also "The Simpsons", too.

Come here a minute January 9, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Mmmmm…..pie…..

Dashboard Buddha January 9, 2012 at 12:36 pm

"that the size of the American piece Christie's belt is infinite,”

Fixed

Spurning Beer January 9, 2012 at 1:15 pm

The Vast Waistband.

Loaded_Pants January 9, 2012 at 5:54 pm

America's current patriotic motto.

x111e7thst January 9, 2012 at 12:37 pm

So maybe Christie has to be helicoptered everywhere because it is the only way to convey all that infinite pie.

Loaded_Pants January 9, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Christie's fantasy is to be lowered by helicopter onto an infinite pie.

Gratuitous World January 9, 2012 at 12:37 pm

the pie is infinite. just like election season.

Lascauxcaveman January 9, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Infinite Pie is going to be the name of my next rock band.

Loaded_Pants January 9, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Infinite pi?

Dashboard Buddha January 9, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Yeah, right Mitt/Christie

A unionized public employee, a member of the Tea Party and a CEO are sitting at a table. In the middle of the table there is a plate with a dozen cookies on it. The CEO reaches across and takes 11 cookies, looks at the tea partier and says,"look out for that union guy, he wants a piece of your cookie."

CZL January 9, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I'm upfisting you so hard right now…

Dashboard Buddha January 9, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Thank you! I wish I could take credit for writing that.

Dashboard_Jesus January 10, 2012 at 1:08 am

I've heard/ seen that one a hundred times and I STILL love it, cuz it's EXACTLY how these motherfuckers operate…and the brain dead teabaggers ALWAYS fall for it

Loaded_Pants January 9, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Mmm, hard upfisting…and cookies!

memzilla January 9, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Dear Gov. Christie:

I sincerely appreciate your use of a baked-goods metaphor in regards to leadership of a country. It worked out so well for me!

Kind regards,
Marie Antoinette

coolhandnuke January 9, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Pi X50= Christie's waist.

EatsBabyDingos January 9, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Mitt the fit could eat no fat
Wife Chrissy could eat no lean
And so between them both, you see,
They licked the Santorum clean.

Lascauxcaveman January 9, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Ew. And here I was thinking nice thoughts about limitless pie.

freakishlywrong January 9, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Chris Christie invoking pie is as outrageous as Mittens invoking how fun it is to fire people..wait, what?

ThundercatHo January 9, 2012 at 12:40 pm

#OccupieInfinity

smokefillednewyear January 9, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Christie probably explains everything in food metaphors. Birds and bees = hot dogs and donuts.

Spurning Beer January 9, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Cannoli and stuffed shells, gumbah!

MittsHairHelmet January 9, 2012 at 12:40 pm

"Stay far from timid, only make moves when your hearts in it, and live the phrase 'Pie's infinite'" -The Notorious BIG

SexySmurf January 9, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Christie added, "Obama is like those jerks at the Old Country Buffet, who claim it's 'all you can eat', but won't let you remove the steamer trays and take them into the bathroom with you."

Chet Kincaid January 9, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Nice.

Kaia Mursi January 9, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Dead.

PsycWench January 9, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Pi is infinite. The American pie is clearly not. Someone misunderstook high school algebra.

Generation[redacted] January 9, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Pi is irrational, much like today's Republican party which has infinite irrationality.

ShaveTheWhales January 10, 2012 at 1:12 am

Pi is transcendental, very much unlike the GOOP.

MissTaken January 9, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Let them eat cake!

BarackMyWorld January 9, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Ok, fat jokes aside…

….yeah, I got nothing.

Loaded_Pants January 9, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Fat jokes are never a side dish.

chascates January 9, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Romney/Christie 2012. Obama second term.

RavenRant January 10, 2012 at 12:09 am

Republican/Republican 2012. Obama second term.

(Second term, could he choose a Chief of Staff who's not a Clinton retread/bank whore?)

freakishlywrong January 9, 2012 at 12:43 pm

“Somebody’s going down tonight, but it ain’t going to be jobs, sweetheart,” Christie rejoined from the stage as the chanting continued from a cluster in the audience.
What the fuck does this even mean? Are jobs people too now, my friends?

MissTaken January 9, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Blowjobs are people, too!

Biff January 9, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I love people!

Generation[redacted] January 9, 2012 at 1:19 pm

You want the job, don't you?

starfanglednut January 9, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I want the blow job, if that's what you mean.

Steverino247 January 9, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I was going to write something witty, but all the blood suddenly left my brain when I saw the word "blowjob."

ShaveTheWhales January 10, 2012 at 1:14 am

Where'd it go? Oh, nevermind.

Callyson January 9, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Rick Perry is pissed that Christie stole his pick up line. It was working so well with all those hot campaign volunteers…and WTH else does anyone think he's still running?

RavenRant January 10, 2012 at 12:12 am

Those hot, anst-y, gay-hatin' closeted gay campaign volunteers?

SorosBot January 9, 2012 at 12:49 pm

He was talking to a female protestor, so I guess he was offering to give her a good pussy-licking; which must have disgusted her, because Chris Christie, ew.

PsycWench January 9, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Pass the brain bleach, Soros.

SorosBot January 9, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Are you saying you wouldn't want Gov. Christie's big, slobbering mouth with his multiple chins to go down on you?

PsycWench January 9, 2012 at 1:50 pm

YOU ARE EVIL. AN EVIL, EVIL, EVIL MAN.

starfanglednut January 9, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Srsly. The thought of that meaty tongue emerging from that gaping maw is enough to…

#passes out

RavenRant January 10, 2012 at 12:14 am

Busy scribbling horror movie proposal – $$$.

MissTaken January 9, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Oh dear!

GOPCrusher January 9, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Now the Occupy protestors are Obama's soldiers in his class warfare agenda. But Tea Baggers were a "grassroots" movement?

Lascauxcaveman January 9, 2012 at 5:24 pm

“Somebody’s going down tonight, but it ain’t going to be jobs, sweetheart,”

I'm pretty sure he was talking about the deceased Apple Computer CEO's interment, correctly noting it took place probably a couple weeks ago, at least.

BigDumbRedDog January 9, 2012 at 12:43 pm

It would do Christie some good to give up a piece or two of pie now and then. And maybe go out for a walk while your at it, you disgusting fat fuck.

ttommyunger January 9, 2012 at 12:43 pm

…Goes without saying; I mean, look at the man!

MissTaken January 9, 2012 at 12:43 pm

If the piece of pie is infinite, then how big is the whole pie? Still not as big as Christie's waistline I'm sure.

littlebigdaddy January 9, 2012 at 12:44 pm

What type of pie, though? I hate anything with coconut.

smokefillednewyear January 9, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Lard ass Lard ass Lard ass! Chow down, wide load!

DaRooster January 9, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Barry, it sounds like Michelle should handle this one…

KeepFnThatChicken January 9, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Christie's weight: ∞

bureaucrap January 9, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Not so much an attack frog as an attack walrus. Ook-ook a chook.

smokefillednewyear January 9, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I think he's the eggman.

trondant January 10, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Cotton, Cotton!

BigDumbRedDog January 9, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Ha ha. Don't tell the republicans, but I put santorum in the chocolate cream pie.

proudgrampa January 9, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Damn! I will never eat chocolate cream pie again!

Chet Kincaid January 9, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Gettting ideas from "The Help"?

SnarkoMarx January 9, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Back in the 70's Rush Limbaugh was brodcasting under the name "Jeff Christie". Now we see "Chris" Christie with the exact same silhouette as Rush. Coincidence? I'm not so sure.

DaRooster January 9, 2012 at 12:48 pm

"Me want MORE PIE Han Solo!!"

Biff January 9, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Because making the pie higher worked so well for george the 2nd.

jus_wonderin January 9, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Pie???!!! What kind???

proudgrampa January 9, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Not the chocolate cream! See BigDumbRedDog.

Callyson January 9, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Christie ended with a plea to Granite State voters.
“New Hampshire, everyone is watching you,” he said. “Send a strong message back, when America is watching on Tuesday night. You tell them we’ve seen presidential candidates up and down in this state, and we know a president when we see one, and he is right here.”
A pie in the face…you can do it, New Hampshire!

KeepFnThatChicken January 9, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Notice that the campaign never devolves into fractions — but then again, Americans suck at maths.

elviouslyqueer January 9, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Somebody's piehole needs welding shut, is the real point here.

Schmannnity January 9, 2012 at 12:52 pm

The unfortunate downside from Greenpeace's efforts at whale protection.

freakishlywrong January 9, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Don't the fucking Republicans already HAVE all the pie?

mrblifil January 9, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Fucking pies. How do they work?

Not_So_Much January 9, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Infinite pies go in Christie's piehole, infinite…never mind.

starfanglednut January 9, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Don't go there. Please, please don't go there.

SexySmurf January 9, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Mmmmm, infant pie.

mrblifil January 9, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I, for one, would like to know how many pies had to be sacrificed in order to torture that metaphor.

RavenRant January 10, 2012 at 12:19 am

I believe you meant to say, "robustly interrogate" that metaphor.

Schmannnity January 9, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Tundra Grifter January 9, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Schmannity:

When I was in college the dorm has a pie-eating contest. Only a couple of kids entered – and there were dozens of pies.

My room mate started to take off and I said "Stick around; this is going to be fun."

Sure enough, one of the contestants shoved loose pie into the face of another one, and the fight was one.

These were, of course, real pies. I remember several kids grabbing one, starting to throw it, thought twice about actually eating it and then figured this chance was never going to repeat.

The air was full of pies.

Schmannnity January 9, 2012 at 1:25 pm

I guess I truly have arrested adolescence if I still laugh at an 80-year-old Three Stooges piefight.

DaRooster January 9, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Infinite pie sure makes Trivial Pursuit go on forever…

smokefillednewyear January 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

They look like a vaudeville act.

lulzmonger January 10, 2012 at 1:35 am

Frick & Frack?

smokefillednewyear January 10, 2012 at 3:32 am

Hambone and Willard.

zappadoo76 January 9, 2012 at 12:59 pm

“What Mitt Romney believes [is] that the size of the American piece is infinite."

No it isn't. The market has limits, and we have hit them. Now comes starvation and fascism–with or without a sacred garment. With or without blackface. With or without Big Pussy Bonpensiero as VeePee.

bikerlaureate January 9, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Class warfare rhetoric-slingin', medical care for the poors'-lovin', Consumer Protection Agency empowerin' Obama's problem here is that he refuses to accept that those with bigger pieces of the infinite pie baked 'em up themselves, with absolutely no resources provided by all of the jealous little pie-envying serfs.

Negropolis January 10, 2012 at 1:44 am

So, President Obama is "blackface" in this description, right? Stay klassy.

zappadoo76 January 10, 2012 at 11:34 am

An Oreo. If you don't get it, you don't get it.

johnnyzhivago January 9, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Infinite pie??? Sounds like a Herman Cain idea to me!

Generation[redacted] January 9, 2012 at 1:18 pm

That would be "Infinite pie for $9.99"

BigDumbRedDog January 9, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Except this is a shit pie with a nice santorum meringue and Romney is going to make sure each and every one of us gets a facefull.

MissTaken January 9, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Dough goes in, pie comes out.

SorosBot January 9, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Now you're making it sound like Christie is bulimic.

MissTaken January 9, 2012 at 1:05 pm

He makes me vomit, maybe that happens to him, too?

Limeylizzie January 9, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Ok, due to my legendary, on Wonkette, size 34Gs I would never tuck in a shirt, I would look as if I was about to topple over, Chris Christie needs to learn by my example.

jus_wonderin January 9, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I do wonder which Defense Contractor makes his belts.

MissTaken January 9, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I thought I won with 36E's. I bow down to you, well two inches down before my boobs hit the ground.

And yes, shirt tucking-in is definitely a no-no

Limeylizzie January 9, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Really, anything over a “D” cup is a tad excessive, don't you think?

Steverino247 January 9, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Anything over a hand/mouth full is excessive, but what the hell. This is America, dammit!

SorosBot January 9, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Oh great, all this breast discussion is making it heard to think – aaah boobs.

proudgrampa January 9, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Casabas! I LOVE me some casabas!

SorosBot January 9, 2012 at 2:49 pm

It's the breast comment thread ever.

MissTaken January 9, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Yay for Boobies! Speaking of, what's Kitty Harris been up to these days?

Radiotherapy January 9, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Sewer rat might taste like infinite pie, but that don't mean I'm gonna that shitty metaphor.

mavenmaven January 9, 2012 at 1:05 pm

I wish you hadn't directed me to the NRO "corner", because I would have been a better person not knowing that Todd Palin endorsed a candidate http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/287595/gingr

jus_wonderin January 9, 2012 at 1:07 pm

This HAS to be a case of Todd believing Newt is "a man he could share a hooker with."

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 9, 2012 at 1:07 pm

No, it's okay, just keep your hands and feet away from his mouth.

mrblifil January 9, 2012 at 1:14 pm

The American piece may be infinite, but Chris Christie's piece could be squeezed into a thimble.

GOPCrusher January 9, 2012 at 1:14 pm

I blame Steve Guttenberg and Police Academy.

KeepFnThatChicken January 9, 2012 at 2:48 pm

…but I love his bibles.

Geminisunmars January 9, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I like how with photoshop you can make it appear like the "before" and "after" are in the same shot.

meatlofer January 9, 2012 at 1:17 pm

HE IS NOT FAT! (he's just real easy to see)

widestanceshakedown January 9, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Even from space.

Generation[redacted] January 9, 2012 at 1:17 pm

I like his plan to fix the economy. With an infinite GDP we can have a 0.01% flat tax rate and still have infinite funding for highways, wars, and other government programs.

mavenmaven January 9, 2012 at 1:19 pm

And on the subject of tools making me sick, who is this moron? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkA88Cnn-Ts&fe…!

Thurman Munster IV January 9, 2012 at 1:20 pm

IQ=3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510

Indiepalin January 9, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Headline of the day (RedState):

"Ron Paul: Elitist Pig"

Bluestatelibel January 9, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Judging from the looks of Chris Christie, it would actually do him a LOT of good to let a few other people at that pie.

Allmighty_Manos January 9, 2012 at 1:25 pm

They should both shut their pie holes

Indiepalin January 9, 2012 at 1:25 pm

He should have taken that offer to replace Charlie Sheen in "Two and a Half Tons"

WhatTheHeck January 9, 2012 at 1:29 pm

99% of the pie is eaten by 1% of the population.
1% of the pie is left over for the remaining 99% of the population.
Do the math. Pie charts create jobs.

neiltheblaze January 9, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I, for one, wouldn't think of trying to stand between Chris Christie and his pie.

widestanceshakedown January 9, 2012 at 1:34 pm

His transformation into Eric Cartman is coming along nicely.

Tundra Grifter January 9, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I'm rather surprised Christie hasn't abandoned a belt for suspenders. That's usually the route taken by folks with Dunlaps Disease.

widestanceshakedown January 9, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I like it better when Christie talks about belt tightening, something he knows all about, albeit from within, and not as an austerity measure.

slowhansolo January 9, 2012 at 1:55 pm

*mrmph*

*snerk*

Must… resist…

"I heard that guy's ass has its own congressman."

FAIL

ManchuCandidate January 9, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Christie lives for the infinite feedbag.

Rosie_Scenario January 9, 2012 at 2:08 pm

"Make the pie higher." George W. Bush (gone, but not forgotten, though I wish I could.)

hagajim January 9, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Wrong message from the wrong guy. How do you get any sympathy when the messenger looks like he ate the whole fucking pie – about 17 times?

Steverino247 January 9, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Christie's sexual orientation isn't straight or gay, but food.

owhatever January 9, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Wet-dreamin' about Boston Cream Pie. Just sayin'.

NorbertsRevenge January 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Make the pie higher!

HarryButtle January 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Them good ol' boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye, singin' this'll be the day that I die.

raygotaway January 9, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Too easy. Christie pie eating jokes write themselves.

SayItWithWookies January 9, 2012 at 2:33 pm

The pie is infinite — so everybody gets all the pie!

BornInATrailer January 9, 2012 at 2:40 pm

All that pie talk gave Christie a chubber. Thankfully he's fat enough that no one could tell.

Chet Kincaid January 9, 2012 at 3:03 pm

"And our mommas would say, 'did y'all eat the pie?!', and we go, 'Naw, the fat fuck Governor of New Jersey ate the pie!!'"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaDVkoCNw0s

Steverino247 January 9, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Some people have attack dogs. Mitt Romulan has an attack pig,

starfanglednut January 9, 2012 at 3:56 pm

All this talk of pie is making me hungry. I love pie.

Eve8Apples January 9, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Infinite pie –Tell that to the folks who are underwater on their mortgage, the folks who have lost their home in foreclosure and the workers who have been unemployed for two years. "Don't worry dude – the pie is infinite. One day the pie will trickle down on you."

Thedongsofwar January 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

This man knows his pie.

Data Exactly January 9, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Relevant political commentary. Sometimes you just gotta toss the gummies and see where they land.

user-of-owls January 9, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Short Fat people got no reason to live.

ttommyunger January 9, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Word bubble over Chris' head: " Mitt, I can't find my dick, how 'bout giving me a hand?"

Negropolis January 10, 2012 at 1:28 am

The bullshit is strong with this one.

Infinite pie? Sounds so existential; it's like what he imagines heaven to be in a visual. He probably jizzed his pants just saying the words.

lloydstool January 10, 2012 at 10:18 am

According to this PIE CHART, Christie's PIE HOLE is a victim of owner abuse, and in need of a helicopter ride to that great PIE IN THE SKY. Either that, or a gig on Fox.

DahBoner January 10, 2012 at 1:04 pm

His job is to grow the pie higher!

MissTaken January 9, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Like the sun, I can't look directly at him nor avoid his gravitational pull.

Limeylizzie January 9, 2012 at 1:25 pm

My poor spouse would agree with you, tell her to get professionally measured and then shop online, makes my life so much easier.

MissTaken January 9, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Try Agent Provocateur, my dear.

Biff January 9, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Being of a size that could easily eclipse the sun, remembering to not look at him directly will undoubtedly save your retinas.

SorosBot January 9, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Be careful you don't go beyond his event horizon, or you'll never be able to escape.

Limeylizzie January 9, 2012 at 2:34 pm

They don't go up to a 'G' cup, I always go to Figleaves.

proudgrampa January 9, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Well played, sir!

Limeylizzie January 9, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Yes they do, they are the best bra shopping site bar none! They have a UK and US site.

Limeylizzie January 9, 2012 at 3:31 pm

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