SENIOR MOMENTS  3:37 pm January 6, 2012

Old Walnuts McCain Accidentally (?) Endorses Obama Instead of Romney

by Wonkette Jr.

The monsters in those Twilight movies don't look like this, jeez!John McCain wandered away from the rest of his senior-housing group at the indoor mall and next thing you know he had wandered onstage with Mitt Romney, in South Carolina! Seems like a good opportunity to give Mittens an endorsement, right? Eh, or just endorse “President Obama,” maybe that guy can “turn this country around.” Will you laugh or cringe at this excruciating old-person video? Both? All of them?

The great thing is that Romney doesn’t even respond in a human way, because he’s not human. Besides, he’s probably thinking about something totally different. Probably counting money in his head. “And there’s a million over there …. and I can sell those extra mansions in Aspen or wherever, and then there’s some more money for that pile. Money money money! I’ve got a very large collection of money, don’t I?”

This is a good excuse to feature another classic John McCain moment on the YouTubes, from Campaign 2008:


[YouTube/Another YouTube]

 
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{ 161 comments }

Barb January 6, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I'm surprised her didn't endorse Taft. "I'm daft for Taft and you should be too." "Where did I leave my fighter plane?"

Chillwaver January 6, 2012 at 3:54 pm

For a sec there, I thought you said "draft," which ironically enough, none of the Romneys ever endorsed.

Fare la Volpe January 6, 2012 at 4:12 pm

I Still Like Ike.

Dudleydidwrong January 6, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Which Taft? W H or R A? He could compare the two from personal experience. "Uh, one of them was bigger than the other…"

finallyhappy January 6, 2012 at 5:21 pm

tippicanoe and Tyler too!

Callyson January 6, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Oh, you beat me to it!

nounverb911 January 6, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Senility is still a bitch.

Barb January 6, 2012 at 3:41 pm

And so was his running mate……….

nounverb911 January 6, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Nikki Haley just pooped her pants.

flamingpdog January 6, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Senator Vitter just fell in love.

horsedreamer_1 January 6, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Smells the same excreting as eating.

Negropolis January 7, 2012 at 1:33 am

You're confusing her with McCain.

DrunkIrishman January 6, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Might be the smartest thing McCain has ever said.

nounverb911 January 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Or the truest.

NewtsChicknNeck January 6, 2012 at 5:28 pm

definitely the truest thing he's said since bush broke his will by intimating to S.C. republicans that he had a black kid (something he'd have in common with S.C.'s other favorite republican).

after some shit like that, you know, you really got to kowtow to the assholes who did that and spend the rest of life trying to earn the love the kind of people who would hate you for it (unless you're strom thurmond and you were just banging the help–then, totally cool).

somehow he's become 40% as mean as cheney which i didn't think was humanly possible.

4TheTurnstiles January 6, 2012 at 3:41 pm

"Uno! it's time to say Uno right?"

skoalrebel January 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I think McCain was distracted by the fact that he'd filled his Depends with a warm, slimy butt dumpling. [spit]

actor212 January 6, 2012 at 3:52 pm

So his ass was endorsing Santorum?

DaRooster January 6, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I did NOT wanna picture McNuts with a Santorum flow control issue… thanks.

Chillwaver January 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm

T-Romney 1000 not amused. Executing program RINO Endorsment 2.0…

NorthStarSpanx January 6, 2012 at 4:28 pm

So, when we are comparing Romney to an alien or a robot, what does that now make Gore2000?

deelzebub January 6, 2012 at 7:17 pm

That one was ManBearPig in a Gore suit. You can tell it was a bear by the mauling of Tipper.

ShaveTheWhales January 7, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Authentic wood.

OkieDokieDog January 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Applesauce 14 McCain 0

Applesauce is going to the SUPER BOWL !

Nostrildamus January 6, 2012 at 4:25 pm

McCain made a huge gooey mess on aisle 5.
Fortunately, none of the apple sauce containers were damaged.

Rosie_Scenario January 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I like the juxtaposition of a McCain post right above Palin. Just in case anyone has forgotten that Gramps is the one who foisted the grifter on all of us. Has it been FIVE AND A HALF YEARS yet? Seems like twice that already.

BlueMonkeh January 6, 2012 at 6:44 pm

for that alone he should be in the new alzheimers cell block in gitmo

OzoneTom January 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Someone slipped some truth-serum into his Geritol.

CliveWarren January 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm

This is good news for… John McCain?

Lucidamente1 January 6, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I was waiting for him to mention Joe the Plumber.

SorosBot January 6, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Doesn't this make you wish he had won and we were governed by an Alzheimer's-addled moron again? It we be the ultimate in 80s nostalgia.

SayItWithWookies January 6, 2012 at 4:09 pm

"I thought it was a neat idea then, Senator — and I still think it's a neat idea."
– Ollie North

Loaded_Pants January 6, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Ah, the good (bad) old days.

NewtsChicknNeck January 6, 2012 at 5:35 pm

1981-88: Alzheimer's
1989-92: CIA
1993-2000: Boners (but economic prosperity for all)
2001-2008: Dry-drunk
2009-2012: Republican who doesn't hate gays or blacks…or the poor (very much).

I can haz haiku?

Negropolis January 7, 2012 at 1:35 am

Can I haz Bonoers and Economic Prosperity for All, again? Pleazes?

LiveToServeYa January 6, 2012 at 3:45 pm

This despite all those people holding up signs to remind him who to endorse.

MissTaken January 6, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Oh, you mean the Omney-flavored Aquafresh ads?

flamingpdog January 6, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Next time they'll write it on his hand.

satyricrash January 6, 2012 at 3:45 pm

How about that President Obama, HENNGHH?

starfanglednut January 6, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Now get offa my lawn!

DahBoner January 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Psst!

Have you noticed?

He's black!!!!

trampndirtdown January 7, 2012 at 6:50 pm

That one.

RavenRant January 7, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Excuse me, the correct term is blah. Just ask Frothy.

Texan_Bulldog January 6, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Ahh…Walnuts, we've missed you–in the same way that you miss your cranky grandfather who thumps you with his cane, yells at you to bring him some Doublemint gum and causes your parents to fight over who gets to put their head in the oven first. Good times!

emmelemm January 6, 2012 at 4:00 pm

You've met my grandpa??!!

deelzebub January 6, 2012 at 7:21 pm

I think he's talking about my husband's Grandpa Larry. He stabs you in the side with a fork at the table if you exhibit bad manners. He doesn't discriminate either; I as an in-law have been jabbed, a cousin's boyfriend got it once, and he even pokes my husband's mentally and physically handicapped little brother. Cranky old SOB makes Miss Manners his bitch.

Texan_Bulldog January 6, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Oh, and I forgot: he always calls you by your sibling or the family pet's name. As in: 'Sparky, get me some gol-darned Doublemint gum–I ain't got all day!'

DemmeFatale January 6, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Don't forget how much he looks like a cadaver when he takes his (frequent) naps!

tessiee January 6, 2012 at 9:50 pm

"your cranky grandfather who thumps you with his cane"

"Li'l Tessie! Go bring me something to hit you with!"

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 3:46 pm

This is bigger for Obama than Colin Powell's endorsement in '08!!

Chillwaver January 6, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Will you laugh or cringe at this excruciating old-person video? Both? All of them?

All of 'em, Katie.

Joshua Norton January 6, 2012 at 3:47 pm

So do you think Palin would be President if the unthinkable had actually happened and Walnuts won? Camp David is just rife with opportunities for "hunting accidents".

Dr_Zoidberg January 6, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Hell, Walnuts wouldn't have made it past the third day in office before he 'fell down the stairs' or 'slipped in the bathtub'.

Loaded_Pants January 6, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Sarah: "I didn't push him. He fell."

Dr_Zoidberg January 6, 2012 at 5:29 pm

'Pinky swear!'

Ms_Anthrope January 6, 2012 at 7:41 pm

(wink)

tessiee January 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm

JMcC: If I weren't in this chair…
SP: But-cha ARE, John! Ya ARE!

Negropolis January 7, 2012 at 1:38 am

ROTFLMAO!

Tina Fey joked on Letterman the other night that Palin will probably start her own party sometime at the end of the primaries and name it the America or Patriot Party, and then she did the accent, and I just near about died.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 6, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Romney will get some his TOP Reptiloids on this problem, right away.
~

FakaktaSouth January 6, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Best part is the way they are closing in on McCain at the end as it fades to black. I'd like to think Mitt put him in a sack and carried him away over his shoulder like Santa, threw him in the trunk of a big black car, slapped it closed, and had someone already at the wheel just drive off with it. That would be awesome.

RavenRant January 6, 2012 at 4:11 pm

He's more a 'tie him to the top of the car' guy than a 'throw him in the trunk' guy.

tessiee January 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm

That's Mitt's usual MO anyway.

LesBontemps January 6, 2012 at 4:28 pm

For me, it's sufficient to imagine Romney and Haley wrestling him to the ground.

FakaktaSouth January 6, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I would totally watch that. Over and over.

DahBoner January 7, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I'd like to think Mitt put him in a sack…

Actually, he lured him in there with a 15 cents off coupon on a single piece of fruit….

slowhansolo January 6, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Is it wrong to feel sorry for this withered, dimwit fossil? I just want to know for the day it happens.

ifthethunderdontgetya January 6, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Just remember all the people around the world who are growing up impoverished, maimed, or not at all, thanks to the GOP and this entitled douchebag.

The moment will pass.
~

Goonemeritus January 6, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Has he finally given up wearing an onion on his belt?

Fare la Volpe January 6, 2012 at 3:57 pm

As was the style of the time.

Generation[redacted] January 6, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Anyway, Obama won the election, but McCain walked away with the turnips!

tessiee January 6, 2012 at 9:54 pm

In those days, a turkey was called a "Walkin' Bird".

DahBoner January 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm

And nickels had pictures of Bees on 'em…

BigDumbRedDog January 6, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Sorry, I missed yours when I posted mine.

Geminisunmars January 6, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Sheesh – they forgot to tell him he was supposed to lie!

tealsheart January 7, 2012 at 4:50 pm

…they told him, but he forgot…

actor212 January 6, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I was looking for the shuffleboard court. Is it this way? Please pardon my onion.

BigDumbRedDog January 6, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Why is he fiddling with his ass? Did he realize that he lost his wallet? No, I think he just pooped his pants. And the smell hits Romney there at the end and he reaches for the microphone to get the old geezer off the stage.

DerrickWildcat January 6, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Why are you people in my house? Go away!

BigDumbRedDog January 6, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Is that an onion on his belt?

DahBoner January 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Shelbyville.

MissTaken January 6, 2012 at 3:55 pm

That picture still confuses me after all these years. Was he going to toss Obama's salad? Did he belch and the liver and onions he ate for dinner at 3 pm repeat on him? Did he just see the picture of Sarah's twat while she stuffed her face with potato chips?

StarsUponThars January 6, 2012 at 4:04 pm

It's the alien space lizard trying to escape.

RavenRant January 6, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Not that it really explains his behavior, but he was trying to leave after the debate, and he went the wrong way, and had to turn around and follow 'that one' out.

Steverino247 January 6, 2012 at 4:51 pm

That's Sarah's twat in that picture? I thought she was just wearing black shorts or something. Shouldn't there be tentacles or something coming out of it?

MissTaken January 6, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Nothing, not even light, can escape a black hole.

Steverino247 January 6, 2012 at 6:12 pm

OK. I give up. I tried to top that one for about an hour. Can't be done!

SorosBot January 6, 2012 at 4:58 pm

He farted, and is reacting to his own old-man fart's stench.

tessiee January 6, 2012 at 9:55 pm

I figured he was in search of BRAAAAAIIIINNNNZZZ!

Canmon January 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

I'd like to think it was on purpose, a way of apologizing for foisting Palin on us.

Dr_Zoidberg January 6, 2012 at 4:13 pm

There is no apology big enough for that ongoing tragedy.

DaRooster January 6, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Romney, as always, is the absolutely most uncomfortable person on the planet. Pretty scary as he has been doing this for freakin' ever…

Donner, Party of 1 January 6, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Dying changes a human being.

MissTaken January 6, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Bomb bomb bomb
Bomb bomb, Romney

elviouslyqueer January 6, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I haven't seen that much flying tackling since West Virginia put the beatdown on Haley's alma mater this past Wednesday.

What? We can appreciate college football too, y'know. And not just because they have Tight Ends.

Fare la Volpe January 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm

And broad shoulders, and rough hands, and hard…calves…

Sorry, what?

Dr_Zoidberg January 6, 2012 at 4:14 pm

And tight uniforms….I love a man in uniform…or out of it.

Loaded_Pants January 6, 2012 at 5:28 pm

I'll be upstairs.

FakaktaSouth January 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm

She went to CLEMSON? Or as my MAJOR Cock fan (aren't we all?) friend would say, OF COURSE that cunt went to Clemson.

BigDumbRedDog January 6, 2012 at 3:59 pm

"You guys promised if I said this stuff I would get jello. Where's my jello dammit!"

Dr_Zoidberg January 6, 2012 at 4:15 pm

'I'm gonna miss Matlock! Maaaaatlooooock!

DahBoner January 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Where's my jello dammit!"

ROAD TRIP TO LUBY'S!!!

SheriffRoscoe January 6, 2012 at 4:00 pm

They should have let the clip run for a few seconds longer. The real entertainment was going to happen after they told McGrumpy what he'd said.

Fare la Volpe January 6, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Say good night, Gracie.

LibrulEleet January 6, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Good night, Gracie.

tealsheart January 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Is she running for POTUS?

weejee January 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Looks like McWalnuts was hitting too much South Carolina moonshine and had a serious hennghh-over.

emmelemm January 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

54 40 or fight!

SheriffRoscoe January 6, 2012 at 4:04 pm

FUCK! I misspelled 'Tippecanoe' before realizing I could have let it be for the purpose of mocking McCain.

littlebigdaddy January 6, 2012 at 4:04 pm

And meanwhile you know Megs was backstage ass-grabbin some Romney boys!

BornInATrailer January 6, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Good thing Megs has hands cuz there's 5 of 'em.

Donner, Party of 1 January 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm

lolz.

Cranky McPants seems to be deliberately sabotaging Romney. He's prolly thinking, I ain't gonna be the only person to lose to a black guy.

pinkocommi January 6, 2012 at 4:08 pm

That's so maverick-y, you old Senator Maverick, you.

DaRooster January 6, 2012 at 4:11 pm

If this is old news… sorry… I found it to be great portrayals… http://screen.yahoo.com/yahoo-news-funny-or-die-g

DemmeFatale January 6, 2012 at 4:38 pm

What a great way to spend 13.16!

DaRooster January 6, 2012 at 4:14 pm

It really is a bummer he didn't beat Oblahma… we would have been so much better off.

DahBoner January 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm

99 years of war on the wall….

SayItWithWookies January 6, 2012 at 4:14 pm

There's nothing that's right about John McCain that can't be fixed by what's wrong with John McCain.

Negropolis January 7, 2012 at 1:42 am

Well played, good sir; well played.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 6, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Of course Romney didn't respond. If input is outside the acceptable range, his programing just ignores it and continues on as if nothing happened.

weejee January 6, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Seems that McWalnutz also said today that Mittens won't lead from behind like Saint Ronnie

BigDumbRedDog January 6, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I love that second video. It's cute the way he's never ever been to a grocery store before.

Loaded_Pants January 6, 2012 at 5:33 pm

And he probably paid in nickels & pennies.

BigDumbRedDog January 6, 2012 at 6:28 pm

He probably waited until the cashier was done ringing everything up to fish around in his pants for a checkbook. Then wrote a check but had to tear it up because he wrote Walmart when he was actually at Safeway. Then wrote a second check but had to tear that one up to when he remembered he had a coupon for applesauce. Then argued with the cashier about why he couldn't use a coupon that expired two years ago and was actually for peanut butter. Then finally wrote the correct check for the correct amount but had to come back and argue because those prunes were supposed to be half off, only to have the cashier explain that those weren't prunes, that was his scrotum.

tessiee January 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Then Ron Paul showed up and did the exact same things.

flamingpdog January 7, 2012 at 12:35 am

Then zombie Ronald Reagan showed up and BRAAAAAIIIINNNNNNZ!!!!!

Negropolis January 7, 2012 at 1:43 am

Then, argued over the price of his cereal, so a worker had to go to aisle 100 to confirm it while the line got longer…

Biff January 7, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Gimme 5 bees for a quarter!

owhatever January 6, 2012 at 4:21 pm

President Obama is a maverick, just like me. Joe? Is Joe the Plumber out here? Lindsey? I have thirty-five cents in my pocket.

Isyaignert January 7, 2012 at 2:40 am

…and a lint-covered Werther's candy.

DahBoner January 7, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I have thirty-five cents in my pocket

That's 35 cents that could be spent on an abortion.

For Freedom!!!!!

meatlofer January 6, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Most of his accidents these days are in his pants.

DahBoner January 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm

#DEPENDS

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 6, 2012 at 4:22 pm

And, in McCain's defense, Matlock was on, and he was in a hurry.

DahBoner January 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Matlocks not real, grandpa….

OneYieldRegular January 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm

It's impressive how much more quickly they move to get him off the stage than they did when Kim Delaney was drunkenly saluting the veterans.

LesBontemps January 6, 2012 at 4:30 pm

"And another thing …Get off my lawn!!"

Steverino247 January 6, 2012 at 4:54 pm

And therefore I endorse…uh… that other one…for President of the United States.

UnholyMoses January 6, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Best pic from the same event at TPM: http://media.talkingpointsmemo.com/slideshow/mcca

Caption: "In my younger days, I'd kill this motherfucker with my bare han— … I smell tapioca. I hate tapioca. In my younger days, I'd kill that motherfucking tapioca with my bare han–I just made a poopy, didn't I?"

Loaded_Pants January 6, 2012 at 5:34 pm

God, I love that pic.

tessiee January 6, 2012 at 10:07 pm

He looks like he REALLY, REALLY wishes he'd saved his money.

WinterOuthouse January 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

I think McCain is wearing the "Oops I Shit My Pants" brand diaper now.

WinterOuthouse January 6, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Maybe he could be a games show host or have his own cooking show. Cooking with Walnuts. (Toasted)

not that Dewey January 6, 2012 at 5:23 pm

"President Obama will turn this country around. Where is that marvelous ape?"

Tommmcattt January 6, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Good thing he wasn't using a teleprompter.

NewtsChicknNeck January 6, 2012 at 5:36 pm

It's actually kinda brilliant. S.C. hates McCain too.

Harry_S_Truman January 6, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Didn't he have a blah kid there?

Harry_S_Truman January 6, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Okay, Nicki. Take Grampa back to the home now.

rickmaci January 6, 2012 at 6:21 pm

It's because Obama is Blah….

Callyson January 6, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Funny, but it would have been more hilarious had he said this in 2008.
Then again, by picking Palin, he pretty much *did* say as much in 2008…

Redhead January 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Talk about a man who NEEDS a teleprompter…

Guppy January 7, 2012 at 12:32 am

Next week he'll endorse Osama bin Romney.

flamingpdog January 7, 2012 at 12:37 am

Too soon!

Negropolis January 7, 2012 at 1:26 am

HA! I love how it takes a full few seconds for this coment to register with Haley and Romney before they swoop in as if the old man is having a series of small strokes.

gurukalehuru January 7, 2012 at 3:15 am

Seems like Romney needs to get some of his younger, less senile supporters up there on that stage. Paging Christine O'Donnell.

ttommyunger January 7, 2012 at 7:38 am

Thought bubble over Nikki's head, judging by her expression: "If I let this fart slide out will anybody be able to hear it? I am fucking dying up here!"

not that Dewey January 7, 2012 at 8:49 am

One could argue that we're already in Evangelical Christian hell.

cheaphits January 7, 2012 at 10:45 am

Wow, they stopped Walnuts before his planned big finish –

"I just want to say how great it is to be back here in Hanoi, thank Miz Nikki, the Prime Minister of India for inviting me and let;s have that nice boy, Nitwit Romsey, from the Moron Choir join me in singing, 'Bomb, bomb, bomb…bomb, bomb Iran.'

Thank you very much"

DahBoner January 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm

President Obama will turn this country around….

Uh, isn't that Rick Santorum you're thinking of?

Or perhaps Larry Craig (R-Widestance)???

DalePues January 7, 2012 at 3:30 pm

He needs a teleprompter.

JimNauseam January 8, 2012 at 4:14 pm

This guy could've been president. Hold me.

horsedreamer_1 January 6, 2012 at 7:51 pm

[Starburst crotch]

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