Forgotten anger bear Sarah Palin has made an annual ritual of publicly turning down her standing invitation to speak at premiere wingnut swinger meetup the Conservative Political Action Conference for the last four years to prove the point that she was too good to go around jabbering for free, since the communists at CPAC don’t pay speakers. But the TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGIN’, and America’s attention span is moving on to other shrill idiots, so this year she has at last found some time in her busy schedule full of Nothing to claim a few more minutes of attention.
Or, who knows. This has the methane odor of the exact kind of public obligation Sarah Palin most loves to quit, for consistency’s sake, so we will only really believe this exciting newz several minutes after she finishes her yapping. THEN AGAIN, maybe she will really go thru with it solely to spite Rick Santorum for stealing all the attention these days and for going around (correctly) telling everyone at last year’s CPAC she was skipping out because she wanted money.
Ha ha, this was Sarah Palin’s venomous response to Santorum’s accusation in February of last year:
She described Santorum as uninformed, adding: “I will not call him the knuckle-dragging Neanderthal. I’ll let his wife call him that instead.”
So what do you think, readers? Will it be LAZINESS or SPITE to “win” the day? Does InTrade have odds on it yet? [ABC News]
{ 173 comments }
I hope they pay her with food stamps.
She'd take 'em. She's at the point now where she would show up to the opening of an envelope just for the mini quiche she will stuff in her purse on the way out.
I'm sure she's been taking them for the last 23 years
It never even occurred to me, but Sarah Palin is totally the type to steal towels from hotels and bread from restaurants wrapped in a little napkin. She's too lazy to even pay for her own amenities.
God, what a cunt.
The ketchup, mustard, mayo, and sugar caddies are always empty in the McDonalds after she and her brood leave.
I think Bristle's meth dealer probably takes the food stamps in trade.
My workplace hosted a high tea for our members just before Christmas, and as the volunteers were wrapping up the food, some little old blue hair dottered by and started grabbing Splenda packets like she could trade 'em for cigarettes in lockdown.
Gosh darn you, how many compliments are ya gonna give her?
Remember the pre-Oscar Oscar gifting suite grab she and her entourage were invited to a couple of years ago? They cleaned the place out so fast and thoroughly that the place had to completely restock.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/03/palin-at...
(Note: Melissa Lemer was a Palin supporter, and had a vested interest in "debunking" the previous reports)
"I hope they pay her with food stamps"
I heard her contract specifically states: Only Euros, Crack, Crystal Meth or Black Tar heroin are acceptable forms of payment…
And bendy straws.
her FAV bendy straw is Tawd. Have you seen his fine azz?
She'll change her tune when she sees…
.
.
.
These MAGIC BEANS!
I hope she is very busy on Sunday, the 8th of Jan. The one year anniversary of Gabby Giffords being shot. I hope she crawls into a hole and stays there.
That awful shooting (and her "blood libel comment" and reinterpretation of "surveyor's marks/ rifle sights") was the beginning of the end for SP, I think. Though, like so many other horror movies, you never know when the monster will return.
Yep…the hand is starting to emerge from the water.
Hopefully the sequel will jettison her into space, or better yet, Hell.
In space, no one can hear you whine.
No. No. No. Not possible. Unmöglich. Non è possibile. Even the Republicans are smart enough to know she cost them the election in 2008. Cannot bear to hear that voice anymore.
Not all of them. There is still a Draft Sarah Palin for President movement out there.
You would think so. But I still know some
tardsacquaintances that swing to the Right that believe she's a friggin' genius. Boggles the mind…I'd like to believe that it was those remarks that was the beginning of the end for her, but I have no such faith in her teatard fans/Koch brother overlords.
I hear the Marianas Trench is nice this time of year.
Seriously, if she knows at all what's good for her, she better go home, lock the door, unplug the phone, turn off the computers and pull the Sim card from the iPhone that day. I know I'm not the only one who's sick of her shit.
Nah, people like $arah are sociopaths. They have no guilt, no shame, and no accountability for anything they do or say.
Look for her to release, (FauxNews) her 1 yr anniversary video.
She's gonna have one of her Jews for Palin robots on, explaining how she isn't libel for her blood libel comments. And how she's so pretty, and smart, and brave, and conservative, and godLoving, and truthful, and a GOOD mom, and good for amerryCa & shit.
mute
So are you new guys going to be covering CPAC like Jack and Riley did last year? That was fun, but it could be dangerous for your sanity so I can see why you might want to skip it.
You might take notice of the fact that neither Jack nor Riley are still here, for whatever that's worth.
That's why I said "you new guys".
I think you mean "you fresh meat."
Sorry, my comment was meant to be addressed to the new guys.
D'oh; didn't get that.
Their footage of Jimmy McMillan (sp?) at CPAC was priceless.
Isn't CPAC where Breitfart molested our precious Riley?
Kirsten and Liz are going to have to butch it up quite a bit to get any attention.
Holy shit, SorosBot, that's what fucking happened to them!!!!! Slow acting mental poison from the shock and trauma. Our boys, they came back from the war, but they never really came back.
It explains the 500 yard stare.
Hey, those speaker's fees aren't gonna grift themselves, ya know.
Sarah and Rick need to stop the flirting and get down with the hate sex.
If rumors are to be believed, Sara is really really really really not Rick's type for an extra marital fling.
But only in missionary, with no condom.
Knowing fundie fecundity, a bouncing little Splooge Palin will be arriving in nine months.
It might change Rick's life if the woman actually moves during what Catholics call "The Act."
For procreation purposes only, of course.
Will they at least pay for the minibar and softcore porn charged to her hotel room?
Softcore? Is she slowing down?
She forgot to steal the batteries needed for her rabbit.
Take them out of the hotel remote control?
You can't. It's attached to the bedside table for a reason.
So Mamma Grifty has lowered her price to zero? What's next? Can we expect hookers and meth dealers to just start givin' it all away? Don't look now, Sarah, but you just dropped a load of fully un-lubed socialism all over the country! Pinko.
Hope that hotel it's being held at has a lockdown on all its towels & linens.
Pillowcase libel!
February 11? That still gives her plenty of time to quit.
She doesn't need more than an hour.
Can't turn down free food.
Who cares about her…what I want to know is where is the amateur porn with Bristle or Willow in it? Or Bristle AND Willow, I don't care.
Only Levi's hard drive knows for sure.
I see what you did there.
I agree. This is day 1222 of the Official Bristol/Willow/Piper Sex Tape Watch. How long can America remain vigilant?
Would anyone want to watch those sex tapes though?
David Letterman, perhaps?
Last I heard one was still qualifying for Porn-again Christian eligibility, while the other is still honing her Porn-Again Virgin status. No doubt being absentee-parented by a frigid, amoral Ice Queen complicates their higher ambitions.
Higher ambitions in Wasilla are easily achieved at MethMart.
MethMart: I love their cheap prices & the wonderful green smiles of their always helpful, happy employees.
filmed on location firming their little camping trip. Poke inside their little canvas tent. Wine cooler and sleeping bags included. Extra poking points for drinking the most without fallingTheFuckOut (Bristols FAV game).
Dang that woman needs to trim her bush.
Every time that I see that picture I think "Heart of Darkness."
Todd likes that old school 1970s-style bush.
Knuckle-dragging Neanderthal? Did they conduct exorcisms, too?
Wait. Sarah who?
Benincasa?
Connor?
Plain and tall?
Tacky and stupid?
Lee? (I'd eat her.)
"Sarah, you're the poet in my heart, never change, and don't you ever start."
Two Mules for Sister…?
Ferguson, who is also a grifter?
Free? Free my ass, what are you a fucking commie? Huh?
Snowmobiles are expensive.
Snow MACHINES, dammit!!!!!! MACHINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She'll do it for free. But Sarah ain't about to bring her own bendy straw.
NOBODY puts Sarah in a corner.
Looks like someone is finally ready to announce her run for president.
Godfather's Pizza needs a new president?
Hey, at least she wants the job.
Until she quits it after a little more than a year.
It's never too late, right? Except, you know, when it's actually too late.
More snow blowin' by the US Grifter in Chief. When she walks in will they play "Hail to the Thief"?
It would be well worth it if they turned around and played "Jail to the Thief" as they frog-marched her out.
I like Sarah. Her existence reminds me to take my birth control pill every single day.
She'll appreciate that. It's nice to be needed.
You'd better stockpile them in case we end up with President Santorum.
I'm also currently stockpiling sex for pleasure, just in case.
I'm more than happy to add to your stockpile.
We all come together in times of need.
I'd stockpile that if I could only get any sex for pleasure in the first place.
Let's see: Laziness…..spite……laziness……spite….. ok…….I'll vote "spite".
You really need a three-sided coin for that: Laziness.. Spite… Compulsive desire to be the center of attention every waking second…
Sarah Palin upskirt?
DO! NOT! WANT!
She will smear Santorum!
On what?
So Herb Cain declined?
Speaking of YoMama jokes, what's Brisket up to nowadays?
You know, it's just as easy to satisfy the attention-whore jones by forming a terrible bar band that plays nothing but covers.
"Hey, hey, hey Bobby McGeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, YEAHahjehejhenghcough. Now who's going to buy me a drinkee?"
Please enter the race, Sarah!
Please enter the race, Sarah!!!!!
Seems like there would be a HUGE demand on CafePress for women's panties that say:
Front: THIS TWAT WON'T RUN.
Rear: SARAH PALIN 2012…
Maybe they'll let her introduce Joe the Plumber.
A guy who's name isn't "Joe"?
And who isn't a "plumber"?
And who doesn't make over $250K a year and thus won't have his taxes raised by Obama?
YEAH, SIGN ME UP! THAT FELLER IS SURE DUMB ENOUGH TO REP'RESENT MAH INTERESTS….
'A guy who's name isn't "Joe"?
And who isn't a "plumber"? '
I have my suspicions about the legitimacy of that "the", too.
Well, these are the same people who pissed down their legs about the "Ground Zero Mosque" *gasp* *shudder* that wasn't a mosque and wasn't at ground zero, so…
When she pre-quit last year, she also said "I'm the proud mother of five‚ my kids don't hold me back from attending a conference."
She wears the sackcloth of having a special needs child. Yet that child has so few needs (of any kind) she can scurry off to conferences at will.
To say nothing of a "special needs" husband, amirite?
That was a lie; she's not proud of her kids, if she was she wouldn't just use them as political props.
She's such a loving mother, isn't she?
The weird thing is Santorum's comment in the original article:
"Asked if he would have turned down the CPAC invitation, he said no. 'I'm not the mother to all these kids. And I don't have other responsibilities, like she has, other opportunities that she has. Other business opportunities that may be in conflict with what she's been asked to do.'"
Did nobody point out that, while he may not be the MOTHER to a boatload of kids, he's the FATHER to an even bigger boatload of kids? So, why is he more free to go to CPAC? Oh, right, only mothers take care of children.
Hahaha.
I'll make the popcorn. I can't wait to see Jennifer Rubin and Chucky 'Cheese' Krauthammer weigh in.
~
Dear KIRSTEN,
The only thing that would improve that photo would be "surveyor's marks" on her twat…
A bullet would get lost in that canyon.
Hell, a Humvee would get lost in that canyon.
Stipulation #64: Customer agrees to allow Speaker to set up bargain bin for the purpose of selling Speaker's books. Furthermore, Customer agrees not to use said books for utilitarian purposes, including, but not limited to, propping doors open, throwing at stray cats, etc.
Maybe she's got a new book or TV show she wants to pimp.
I hope she tells the pitbull lipstick joke but I suppose that would cost extra.
That one always kills. That, and the drill baby drill one she stole from the Man of Steele.
Poor baby's fifteen minutes are up and she's got to grovel for attention now. So now that the bucks aren't rolling in, how long do people think it will be before she declares bankruptcy?
I dunno – how many products does John Deere make?
how many products does John Deere make?
As many pins that fits on the forehead of an angel.
Go dammit! Even in this short sentence she manages to irritate the jesus out of me!
"I will not call him the knuckle-dragging Neanderthal."
THE neaderthal? WHY WOULDN'T YOU JUST USE "A"?!?!! JESUS FUCK SHITFUCK I'M TIRED OF HER!
Because "a" would imply that there are more than one, and that therefore evolution happened. If there is just one, than God just made a special edition.
His name was Adam.
This is GREAT NEWS for John McCain!!
A picture of Sarah's crotch?
Please!
Can we all refer to her twat by the technical term?
"ham wallet"
"grift slit"
Sarah has now stooped to Bristol's level in popularity. Now they are both giving it away for free.
"This has the meth
aneodor of the exact kind of public obligation Sarah Palin most loves."(fixed)
I am surprised Sarah Palin hasn't cashed in on her fame with a blow-up doll in her own likeness. She could make so much money, especially if the Sarah Palin likeness can fuck herself.
I'm still betting on the Playboy Pictorial, but she's really falling out of the limelight now, maybe Christine Hefner won't touch her. But I bet Larry Flynt would be willing to throw a few sheckels her way for a Sarah-Brisket mother daughter photo shoot.
Oh, no. All those Photoshop hours would really eat into the profit margin, I think. Those two have seen some hard road.
From the Late Nite with Conan O'Brien writers who brought you "Max on Max", in conjunction with Hustler Video, Larry Flynt presents "Sarah on Sarah", starring Sarah Palin & Lisa Ann.
Some of the bimbos at dollforum.com look an awful lot like The Grifter Mama.
My fellow conservatives.
When I first entered the national spotlight, few knew the true meaning of being a Conservative politician. Over the last four years, we have all learned what it takes to be a true conservative. Money.
Before me, there were the few, proud conservatives who learned how to milk the movement for all its worth. Newt Gingrich made millions off of books and films that no sane person would ever care about. Rush Limbaugh of course has been a great leader, finding ways to get people to give him money for ghost written books and bad ties when I could only dream of getting something for nothing.
But in the years since I ran and totally re-clothed my entire family on the GOP's dime, we have seen a great surge in favor of the grifter. Hermann Cain, Michele Bachmann, even Newt himself, have made this current campaign what it should be: A great haul that will give them money and speaker fees beyond their wildest imagination. If I helped move the movement that way, I have finally completed something I am proud of.
If I helped move the movement that way
Ah, just like the old Aerosmith song, eh?
Fart this way…
Were that I had more than one upfist to give!
I can only hope and pray that she:
Quits
Flops horribly
Or the Glen Rice issue surfaces in the most embarrassing way possible
The elusive final nail in the coffin has to come soon.
Alternately, she could launch a third party run that obliterates what's left of the Republican Party. That would make continuing to see and hear this festering disgrace to womanhood tolerable. Barely.
Maybe there's a simpler explanation for her change of "heart." Maybe she finally got her old talking points scrubbed off the palm of her hand.
Who the hell is she? Did she used to work for Shelly?
The queen is dead, long live the queen. Marcus not included.
Do Jonah and K-Lo roll with this?
Hope so, since Bonah and K-Y don't.
"Now returning to the limelight this Tuesday afternoon at the county-famous Plywood Room of the Skagway Municipal Airport Econo Lodge!"
That there's real plywood, son….
Her's is one one boat I wish the Somalian Pirates would sink.
Note to the author: Methane is odorless.
"Methane is odorless."
Whaddya know?
And here I was, thinking that methane was what (excuse the crudity) gave farts their characteristic odor.
** The more you know…
Natural gas used in homes is compounded with mercaptans, such as butyl sulfide. These are odorants added as a safety precaution to make leaks more easily detectable.
In the case of flatus, there is a similar principle at work. Hydrogen sulfide, along with other volatiles (depending on diet) are the organoleptically active agents.
"Will it be LAZINESS or SPITE to “win” the day?"
Can't it be both?
I bet Piper gets knocked up while getting her CPAP.
damn it, shut your legs Sarah/Bristol
This Is Palin Tap.
"if I told them once, I told them a hundred times: put 'Sarah Palin' first and 'Puppet show' last. Also, too."
In this case, the line between stupid and clever is not very fine at all.
OT, but I heard Glenn Rice loves Sarah's bare-a-cooter.
Tawd's a cuckold, also.
Holy fuckfarts, will this dizzy bitch *never* go away?
OT, but I heard Glenn Rice loves Sarah's bare-a-cooter.
Sarah Palin is an older version of Kim Kardashian.
Both are media whores and both love blah cock.
"(Palin) described (someone) as uninformed"
Excuse me, I seem to have gotten Coca-Cola on my monitor…
I used to have a cold shower to knockdown a raging hard on.
But thanks to Wonkette's pic of Sarah, that puppy goes down in record time.
Must be why Santorum hates her so.
She is such an effective form of birth control.
Actually, I have it on good authority that she plans to give only half a speech and then quit-for freedom.
What's with all this "hate Palin"? I don't hate Palin, I love Palin – and Idle and Cleese and Jones and Chapman and Gilliam!
I've seen this picture of her thousands of times and I never did pay much attention. Today, however, I did for some reason and it looks to me like those bikini bottoms are actually photoshopped. Was she really going commando there?
An early agenda for the 2012 CPAC house of horrors includes a Friday night chocolate pudding nude wrestling match between Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin, with Michelle Malkin officiating in a bikini. That will likely be the highlight of the weekend.
"I can bake a cake if I get enough of them!"
Their excuse is, "Poor me, I'm barely getting by on my fixed income," then they go and vote for the person who would take the whole damn thing away. Voter dementia.
"Insulted," or "called out"?
Not just females. My dad does it too. Last time I was at his house I sorted all of the sugar, Splenda, ketchup, mustard, and mayo packs.
Ah, so someone we know has already tried, yes?
Comments on this entry are closed.