President Obama is having a grand old time this recess! He’s proposing a change to the U.S. immigration policy Friday that amounts him to actually doing something (again!) without the help of the recessing puppet masters. The proposal would allow certain illegal immigrants to stay in the U.S. while they apply for legal residence status, thus preventing families from being separated during the lengthy green card application process. So, seems the President of the United States has remembered he is the President of the United States and not, like, the host of The Bachelor.
As the law stands now, most illegal immigrants have to wait ten years to reenter the U.S. once they leave it. They can apply for waivers to shorten that time, but that application process typically takes place in Ciudad Juarez, the most dangerous city in Mexico, and not surprisingly a place that the State Department has urged people not to travel to.
Amazingly, our crazy system in this instance works in the President’s favor: Obama doesn’t even have to get permission from Congress to enact the policy. Though Obama’s been trying to “overhaul” the immigration system, we all know that overhauls equal dollar signs spinning vertiginously upon the eyeballs of congresspersons, so this is a quick fix that Obama can accomplish because apparently he is the most powerful guy in the country?
Oh, it’s also a ploy to win back the enthusiasm or at least polite complacency of our Latino population, two-thirds of which voted for Obama back in 2008. Funny, people didn’t seem to like the fact that since Obama’s election, “ICE has deported more than 1.2 million illegal immigrants, more than any administration in six decades.” The Administration has been trying to focus on “deporting the worst offenders” — as of late 2011, at least. [LA Times]
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"The proposal would allow certain illegal immigrants to stay in the U.S. while they apply for legal residence status,"
Sounds like Obama's sucking up to Orly Taintz.
That made me throw up a little.
There's an equivalent scene in "Kingpin" that will make you throw up a lot.
Oh cmon. It wasn't THAT bad.
Ugh. Visual too soon after lunch.
Hey, Orly Taitz is here perfectly legally, as far as I know. Or not. Who knows.
Just finish the danged fence.
… along the Mason-Teatard Line. With alligators.
Those of us in the Old Line State (Maryland) object to this idea. The Potomac River is a much more appropriate barrier, although we might suggest you let Old Town stay in the North as it is a nice place with some good restaurants.
Duly noted. Us Northerners are reasonable… we will allow certain exceptions and amnesty zones — Austin, for example.
I think Maryland and Delaware can get retconned into being treated as if they were north of the line, since despite being slave states they did not commit treason but fought for the right side. Also culturally they're now pretty much like the rest of the Mid-Atlantic, not the South.
Ich bin ein AustinWeirder!
Can Nashville come too?
And sharks with freakin' laser beams!
And Gorillas to throw the sharks!
Instead of a fence howz 'bout the smell of napalm in the morning in Nogales?
Do you think it is just a coincidence that Obama tries to be nice to the Latinos just days after Mitt Romney gets the endorsement of Panamanian strongman Juan McCain?
Can we keep the pretty ones please?
Huh? Please?
Can we?
Like Michelle Rodriguez – she can stay. But only if she wears a grease-stained wife beater at all times, unless otherwise nude.
She can stay because she is pretty and it looks like she can fix trucks.
Another American jerb lost.
My favorite illegal is that half-lesbian one, whats her name?
Anne Heche?
Sonia Sotomayor?
User of Canadian healthcare, Sarah Palin?
Hiya Salma.
Shakira!!!? That's Columbia.
Praise be to beautiful half-Mexican women everywhere.
Michelle Rodriguez, except that I think she's a full-bloodied lesbian.
Jon Huntsman, that you?!
And Salma Hayek. I am straight, but if I were in women's prison…
Thats the one, Salma Hayek. Yoweee yow yow Yowza!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvyxEBNHk-0
fap, fap, fap, fap, fap
He has to do something without the recessing puppet masters because they won't fucking do anything. If Congress worked for a private sector "jerb creator" they'd have all been fired for sitting around with their thumbs up their asses!
Don't mistake dildos for thumbs.
Pink? While watching tranny porn?
Time to google up all the Rethuglitard bloviation about how much they lurved the "unitary executive" when (a black guy wasn't / Shrub was) preznit.
[Liz, we're so glad you've cured the alt-text deficit!]
She's a fast read!
He's just pandering to the brah people again.
Now he's pandering to the Irish??
Secret
KenyanIrishman O'Bama.Or the Israelite Irishman Aaron go Brah.
Win.
Southern Californian surfers?
Another WIN.
How dare he try and do something without the republicans there to obstruct just for the hell of it! HOW DARE HE!
I got thumbed down on Yahoo comments big time for posting how this was the Obama we had voted in to office in 2008 for using his recess appointment powers to start filling seats that the Republiklans were dragging their feet on.
Evidently, the concept that Obama would get uppity and actually try to do the job that he was elected to do, is bothering a lot of people.
Who is this handsome gentleman doing all these wonderful things that he was elected to do? And can we keep him?
I hear that he's up for re-election. I'm suspicious that he's just pandering to his constituents.
Go ahead and gladhand this maligned subpopulace as much as you want, Barry. It's a ripple-tide compared to the groundswell of opinion exacerbating their plight: "Scourge my back and I'll scourge yours."
The pro – family party is going to freak out in 3…2…1…
Please. Families are only created by White People having sex once a year in the missionary position, as God intended. You can't have a family if you are two men, a man and a dog, or your skin has melanin in it. Just check with Rick Santorum.
If we outlaw illegals then only outlaws will have illegals!
They can have my Salma Hayek when they pry my …. well, you get the idea.
Obama's like the nerdy kid doing his homework at recess while the cool kids are out on the monkey bars.
Except, in your analogy, Republicans = cool kids.
No.
Where are their blah certificates?
Here's a solution: auction off 5 million green cards. Let the market decide what US citizenship is worth. How hard is that? Supply side citizenship FTW!
Yeah, the whole thing should work like how you have to get on a waiting list for Bulls or Bears season tickets! Or, you could have "Passport Brokers" at the border who can get you in that day, if the country is sold out.
Might reduce the debt, too
And the turnover in the cartel staffs should disrupt … ahem, certain supply chains.
It's time Americans did the hard work of maintaining those illegal grow sites deep in national forests anyway.
Why not allow Americans to sell THEIR citizenship to foreigners – or sell their children's citizenship.
I won't sell mine, but I'm certainly willing to barter. Now I just have to find a Canadian dumb enough to want to trade.
Problem with that, Ticket
mastersbastards buys them all up and scalps them at even more inflated prices."Funny, people didn’t seem to like the fact that since Obama’s election, “ICE has deported more than 1.2 million illegal immigrants, more than any administration in six decades.”
Why does everyone assume that this is just to assuage the Latinos? I mean, it doesn't say "1.2 million illegal Latino immigrants." I'm sure they've deported illegal Chinese and Canadian immigrants, too.
It's the Santorum Rules. Food Stamps=blahs, Illilegals=lahs.
Canadians actually move here??
They work the comedy clubs Americans won't.
This will just lead to more Irish on our shores!
Or worse yet – Polish. Quick! Hide our lightbulbs!
We might get more of the dirty Italians too.
Yes, but the good news is we'll add more Lithuanian to our diet. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jungle
Finally, Obama does something to justify a little of the far right's anger towards him.
Zactly, this kinda talk from W pretty much made him a RINO.
It was the only good thing W ever tried to do (well besides the time he tried to choke himself with that pretzel); so of course it pissed off the base.
Think the Republiklans will cut their own throats and try to impeach him for making recess appointments?
McCain responded by saying immigrants were taking jobs nobody else wanted. He offered anybody in the crowd $50 an hour to pick lettuce in Arizona.
Shouts of protest rose from the crowd, with some accepting McCain’s job offer.
“I’ll take it!” one man shouted.
McCain insisted none of them would do such menial labor for a complete season. “You can’t do it, my friends.”
You can't do it, my friends.
Years ago, I was on a guided tour of a museum. The guide was talking about railroads going across the US. He said that the railroad companies used Irish immigrants to blast the tunnels through the mountains because the Irish have a natural way with explosives.
I asked him if he meant from the fighting associated with the Troubles. He said, no, just in general. I was compelled to tell him it was probably really because the company could accidentally blow up a few Irishmen and no one would care that much, that they'd just hire more coming in off the boats. The guide didn't agree with my theory.
It's good to be King
Pissboy! Where is my piss-bucket?
Wait for the shake, boy!
And he's a damn good looking one, too.
If the switch to democracy did nothing else, it ensured our leaders would only be mildly inbred, as opposed to tongue-too-huge-to-even-fit-in-mouth inbred.
Well, except John King, that smug, pig-faced, Masshole bastard.
Oh, great, and all these shiftless illlegals will be eating our food stamps, too, I suppose?
Food stamp con queso, of course.
As one of "The Blacks", I'm partial to food stamp con pollo, myself.
Fuck me. Just when I was going to quit my desk job where I can piddle on Wonkette occasionally and move to California and start picking cabbage the arrogant sonzabitch has the audacity to essentially bail out the farmers.
at least polite complacency of our Latino population, two-thirds of which voted for Obama back in 2008.
Sorry to break it to you, O-bots, but those Latinos are going to be flooding to the Republicans. Didn't you hear? Newt's going to go talk to them too.
Oh please, can the DNC PAY Newt to talk to the Latinos? (He'd take the money, too.)
They'll all flood to Perry 'cause he has a heart and gives them in states rates at Texas colleges. And he likes to blow the really buff ones.
But only if they serve food stamps.
What the puck? Does this mean Barry is finally responding to the many ICEing calls?
Looks like a two line pass.
A brief play in two sentences:
Obama: "Take a knee, Boner!"
Cap'n Orange: "Don't ICE me, bro!"
–Sponsored by Smirnoff Ice…
It is a careful plot to deport Liz Colville back to socialist Canadia, because she is causing trouble by writing words.
Or we could deport Nickelback and Michael Buble instead.
It's the Sasketchewan Puck Mines for you, bitch!
Believe me, the neighboring Sasketchewan tar fields are so, so, so much worse than the puck mines.
This is a good move for Democrats — because if one member of a family had to leave the country, they'd never believe all the crazy shit their kids were telling them Newt and Mitt and Santorum were spewing.
So, I guess this is Obama's Risky Business moment? The "grown-ups" are out of town and there he goes with the pantsless white socks fake microphone Bob Seger thing.
And featuring the GOP as Faberge eggs?
Also, pix or GTFO
Gee, thanks for keeping families together in time for the holidays. Wait-
Gee, I wonder what the far right will think about this? Oh, that's right… I don't fucking care.
I would love to see him host the Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony Ever!
"I have…just one green card left."
This is sure to piss off the Know-Nothing Party; so good.
I'm kind of enjoying this whole marginalization of a marginally awful, fucked up congress. So, you go, grrrrl!
You'd think the 95% disapproval rating would give them a fucking clue.
OT but looky here: Scott Walker's appointees (from his County Exec days) are getting arrested for being crooks!
http://www.jsonline.com/news/statepolitics/three-...
(How do you do the turn the link into words thing? I'm old and do not know Internet very well.)
Edited to add: Getting arrested for being crooks who stole from the troops! And child enticement too, somehow.
< a href="LINK" > text < /a >
All that, except without the spaces.
Thanks!
Oh, sorry, there's a space between a and href, but the rest is all spaceless.
Ah, thuswise
(Same link as above FWIW)
Okay, you post the link. Then you immediately click edit. (Hopefully, nobody will reply immediately, because then you can't edit.
When the edit box opens, you will see your link. Look for the last pair of < > with text between them. Replace that text with your chosen words, then repost.
Viola!
Damn it. Nevermind. (Tried and failed, will try again another day while not at work).
Yeah, I tried to send this to wonkette? Why aren't they covering it? It writes itself. I think he is accused of stealing from *wounded, purple-heart* troops!
Indeed he is. Maybe there's just too much going on already today.
You're old. Old people are stupid.
It's true. Once you hit 30 the brain begins to eat itself.
Brian Pierick, Russell's domestic partner….I would prefer it if journamalists went back to the less ambiguous term "gay lover."
We might as well enjoy our second Obama honeymoon while it lasts.
Bad Barack returns in January, 2013. I doubt if many banksters will get indicted in the mean time.
~
There is no reason for Bad Barack to return in a potential second term, but keep fuckin' that chicken.
He would never get away with this if he was a blah.
What can brown do for you?
The arrogance of that man, thinking he's president or something.
"He's not my president," or "look what your president did," or "their president is worse than Carter, " or… well, you get the idea.
According to the TeaTards, he's only President of The Blacks and the illegals, since no self-respecting American citizen would of cast a vote for him.
Side note: As part of the Affordable Health Care Act, we now have to track the employer's contribution for health insurance to be put on the employee's W-2 at the end of the year. You would swear that the man pissed in people's Wheaties, I haven't heard so many "Fucking Obama" as I have in the last week.
Obama came here to kick some ass and chew some bubblegum…and he's all out of bubblegum.
About damn time. He must have had a whole fucking pallet.
Cut some slack–quitting smoking is hard!
The lure of Hispanic votes has a very strong appeal.
As well it should.
I really love it at those odd times Barry tells Republicans to go fuck their mothers. It's an election year – maybe he'll do it a lot!
Let me guess – this was a Republican idea up until yesterday? But now McConnellBoehnerCantor will be all over the teevees with their panties, once again, all in a wad 'cause they didn't get to officially block it?
MEXICO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCr9KpZ63vo
At last. We've reached the point where el Bruno has finally realized the futility of kowtowing to to the nutbars. He's now inciting foaming at the mouth, on the assumption that Atticus Finches everywhere will grab their rifles and do what has to be done.
You don't need that much ammo if you're a well-trained marksman, you know… I have occasional encounters with kunckleheads that complain about Obama taking their guns and ammo. I just smile and ask why they need all that shit. "If you guys could hit the broad side of a barn, you wouldn't be squawking so much. You're piss poor shots so you need to carry a squad's worth of weapons and ammo at all times."
I was speaking to a gun dealer. He started in on Obama, the usual BS. I said that he ought to thank Obama for all the extra business. He smiled sheepishly, and told me that he and his gun dealer friends refer to O as their 'Top Salesman'.
I asked him what Obama has done to take away guns. He admitted that absolutely nothing had been done to restrict gun rights. But he still didn't trust the guy.
They're such children, aren't they?
Children of the Corn. (Syrup.)
Good Lord, have you seen the audiences in these Rethuglican primaries? They're so all-white you'll get retina burn if you don't wear sunglasses.
Thanks to C-SPAN, these primaries are the best advertisement for what this party really is there could possibly be.
Or as the waitress said in The Blues Brothers: "Oh we got both kinds. We got country and western!"
Truly a Red, White & Blue audience:
They all got red necks.
They're all white.
The women all have blue hair, the men all drink blue ribbon.
Not sure about New Hampshire but Iowa is the whitest place I have ever been.
Never been to Iowa, but one can go snow-blind in New Hampshire in the middle of August.
It's amazing how effective our President is when the House of Representatives is on vacation. I hope he works all weekend just to piss off those goat fuckers (since today's theme is goats).
But he's still letting in all the Al Quida an' Hezbolla ninjas flooding through Mehico, right?
Soooo… with 11 months until the election, BO decides he'd better make nice with the Latinos after deporting the population of Mexico three times over. I assume that next he will let the African Americans know he's one of them after ignoring them pretty much since he was elected and asking the Progressives and liberal minded independents for their support after letting his administration ridicule and mock them since the inauguration, after failing to close Gitmo, after continuing the war in Afghanistan, after renewing the bush tax cuts, after signing the NDAA…
Yeah, good luck with that Barry!
Right–now that he has a chance to get something done since the slimeballs in congress aren't in session he should do nothing.
Works for me.
Most Latinos would rather see a bit of pandering from Barry than they would electrified fences and moats filled with alligators.
Of course, the GOP will have no problems with this. After all, look how calmly they reacted to Obama's perfectly legal recess appointment. Because Bush NEVER made a recess appointment. Except for those 130 or so recess appointments he made.
According to Wikipedia, Bush(W) made 171 recess appointments, Clinton made 139.
So it's a routine, unremarkable action for a president to take.
Or, in this case, TREASON!
Teddy Roosevelt made 160 in one afternoon.
While wrestling a mountain lion with his NON-dominant hand.
And writing legislation to submit to congress to reign in the Robber-Barons in the other hand.
No one is trying to "split up families" here. The legal children of illegal parents are well and able to return to Meh-hee-ko if they want to stay together. It's their choice.
This is the same logic Mrs. Bachmann applied to the gays being able to marry in the USA, anywhere, anytime they want.
Boehner shed a tear.
Recess was always my favorite subject in school. Now I remember why.
Is it wrong that I think Barry looks kinda hot in that outfit?
(Except the shoes. The shoes are weird and tiny.)
You like any of these better?
At first I thought those were funny, and then I read the captions. It appears most of them are of the "How dare those uppity Blah people take vacations/eat at restaurants/travel for state business/Michelle Antoinette/Let them eat cake" variety of bullshit.
I wonder why we never heard about the cost of vacations or official state travel for any previous POTUS and FLOTUS.
Yeah, it was kind of hard to figure out what the point of the web page was. There's a much better picture than any of those, of "Baroque Obama", but Intense Debate wouldn't let me turn the link into a red word thingie.
So the Kenyan is all "I got mine, Jack"?
Just to rub salt in the wound, he should go on Meet the Press with David the Gregory, look straight into the camera, and howl "Git 'er Done!"
Can it be I was correct in hoping Barry was just doing the old rope-a-dope on McConnell and Boner? If so, this move is just a left jab, the round-house right is coming soon. Oh, BTW, did anyone but me notice the jerbs picture is brightening? My Rightard friends here in Dumfuckistan are discounting that news as "Liberal Media Bias".
Yes, if you bring the moonshine.
Yay! You're officially a child of the internet!
You can never leave.
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