GIFZETTE DAILY BRIEFING  9:39 am January 6, 2012

BREAKING: Santorum Said Something Stupid

by Matt Langer

LOOK AT THOSE EYEBROWSNEW YORK—Boy what a feeling it is to wake up and read every newspaper and blog post and tweet in the English speaking world and discover that apparently the only thing newsworthy that happened anywhere in the world yesterday could pretty effectively be summed up by the headline “Santorum Said Something Stupid.” And then to realize that this basically means we’re living in 2006 all over again! (Or is it not again so much as still? Hard to say.) And then to realize that no, sorry, we didn’t sign up for this, please stop the internet bus, we’d like to get off now thanks.

But we are where we are. But at least he’s making it fun, right? Because thank you, Rick Santorum, you’ve just said the single stupidest thing to come out of a politician’s mouth since Jon Kyl’s storied “not intended to be a factual statement.” At a campaign stop in Iowa on Sunday, you may recall, Santorum said “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money.” Which is nothing if not an appallingly stupid thing to say. And people have been letting him know this! So as a defensive maneuver, Santorum took to CNN yesterday to defend himself: he didn’t say black people, he said blah people! [ed.note: right now we're doing that thing we do where we just blink a lot real quick-like at our laptop in stunned disbelief.] Blah people. Blah people! BLAH PEOPLE.

But the last word should go to Digby here, who nailed it:

In any case, his whole thesis about Medicaid making people dependent so they’ll vote for Democrats is offensive whether he was referring to blacks, Blues, Blands or Blahs.

(something something this has been another edition of What Digby Said)

Anyway, Santorum got roughed up real good yesterday at New England College in New Hampshire. After being questioned on his opposition to gay marriage he shot back with his standard issue defense of “if gays can marry gays just to make themselves happy then straights can marry as many other straights as they want just to be happy,” becuase one plus one equals three, or something like that. He was roundly booed by all the marriage-hating young co-eds.

And in other Santorum news, there’s apparently nobody on the internet right now who isn’t talking about the fact that Mitt Romney maybe didn’t win Iowa. As if this matters at all, why are we still talking about Iowa, let’s move on now please.

And moving on we are, since it’s time to add another contradictory epithet to the list of Terrible Things About Barack Obama. Since it wasn’t enough that he be a radical America-hating Christian at the same time that he’s a radical America-hating Islamist, he is now, in addition to being a Soviet-style czar-appointing socialist, also a crony capitalist! A crony capitalist. Because he, you know, appointed a guy who’s going to make sure poor people don’t get screwed by payday loans.

So we’re well familiar with the feeling of completely losing one’s mind in the run up to a major Republican nominating contest (Tuesday was only three days ago, mind you), but New Hampshire is really taking things to the next level here. After it was reported that (heh?) any new legislation in the state of New Hampshire must find its origin in the Magna Carta of all places, news is out today that the state is now effectively ending compulsory education. Schoolchildren across the state will soon believe the Earth is only 5,772 years old.

Oh so maybe keep an eye on the Strait of Hormuz? Things have been heating up there all week (and oil futures have been see-sawing as a result), but now things are about to get even realer.

[READ MORE AT THE GIFZETTE.]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 251 comments }

forgracie January 6, 2012 at 9:41 am

In other news water is wet and fire is hot……

hagajim January 6, 2012 at 10:59 am

And now Newt has jumped on the black welfare bandwagon. So 1970s.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 11:16 am

Newt has been the leader of that bandwagon since the '80s.

Texan_Bulldog January 6, 2012 at 9:42 am

Umm….did Queer Eye for the Straight Guy give Rick a makeover in that picture? He actually looks do-able (from a woman's perspective).

vulpes82 January 6, 2012 at 9:46 am

That's because it's not Rick Santorum in the picture. It's that actor guy. You know, the one with the eyebrows. (I can't think of his name.) Now THAT'S a makeover!

Texan_Bulldog January 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

I know–I just can't figure out why that picture is being used when there are so many awesome sweater vest pics of Ricky available. (It's early & the hangover hasn't worn off yet.)

Texan_Bulldog January 6, 2012 at 9:53 am

Peter Gallagher–that's who it is. Sorry, it was bugging me.

Rosie_Scenario January 6, 2012 at 9:55 am

Beat me to it.

Rosie_Scenario January 6, 2012 at 9:54 am

Peter Gallagher?

kennymfg January 6, 2012 at 10:14 am

I think the picture is of the author, Matt.

elviouslyqueer January 6, 2012 at 10:49 am

Oh. Well FAP FAP FAP then. (You're welcome, Matt! *blows coy kiss*)

vtxmcrider January 6, 2012 at 11:02 am

And a vigorous FAP FAP FAP to you, too, elviously.

Chichikovovich January 6, 2012 at 10:35 am

That's actually a picture of me. But I'm taller than the picture makes me look.

wondering where i am January 6, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Are your eyebrows taller too?

neiltheblaze January 6, 2012 at 9:42 am

Why, some of my best friends are blah people.

chicken_thief January 6, 2012 at 10:38 am

I have one, too! We play basketball and shit. He's great at parties 'cause, man, he is one dancing mo-fo.

C_R_Eature January 6, 2012 at 11:23 am

I Was Born A Poor Blah Child.

SayItWithWookies January 6, 2012 at 11:30 am

You know how wha people walk like this, but blah people walk like this?

FlownOver January 6, 2012 at 11:44 am

Once again, the message gurus try to reduce everything to blah and why.

C_R_Eature January 6, 2012 at 12:43 pm

I don't mind having Blah people around, as long as they act Wha in public.

Tundra Grifter January 6, 2012 at 1:18 pm

NTB:

Actually, some of my best friends are Blahs.

I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one.

WunkRocker January 6, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I only consort with Maccacas m'sef.

imissopus January 6, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I have a great relationship with the blahs.

Swampgas_Man January 6, 2012 at 5:19 pm

The difference between the blues and the blahs is that you can't sing the blahs.

MittsHairHelmet January 6, 2012 at 9:43 am

I see a red door and I want it painted blah.

OneYieldRegular January 6, 2012 at 10:02 am

I'm begging you to put that on a big sign and take it to a Santorum rally.

Allmighty_Manos January 6, 2012 at 9:44 am

BREAKING: [Insert name of GOP candidate, office holder, National Review/Weekly Standard Blogger, AM Radio/Fox News Host here] Said Something Stupid

freakishlywrong January 6, 2012 at 9:44 am

Breaking news would be for him to NOT say something stupid. Blah.

GOPCrusher January 6, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Winner, winner, TV dinner!

neiltheblaze January 6, 2012 at 9:45 am

I once dated a blah girl in college.

forgracie January 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

Once you go blah you'll never…..wait what?

kimjongillest January 6, 2012 at 12:36 pm

go bah?

hollywooddood January 6, 2012 at 9:56 am

Macaroni and cheese on Thanksgiving? Is that a blah thing?

chicken_thief January 6, 2012 at 10:40 am

She play ball for Rutgers by any chance?

Guppy January 6, 2012 at 10:56 am

Was she blah in bed, though?

What about that one girl who ended up being a closeted blah?

Fare la Volpe January 6, 2012 at 11:34 am

I knew a chick who was Blah Until Graduation.

Guppy January 6, 2012 at 11:46 am

This brings up an interesting question: would Santorum support using federal Medicaid funds to cure blahness?

memzilla January 6, 2012 at 9:45 am

"…[Santorum] shot back with the standard-issue defense…"

If your Santorum is shooting back, you've got to lay off the breakfast burritos.

kennymfg January 6, 2012 at 10:13 am

this is so many kinds of hilarious I cannot stand it.

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 9:45 am

♫ And the band played on… ♫

(in super deep basso profundo Barry White-esque voice)

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Melvin Franklin libel!!

not that Dewey January 6, 2012 at 12:16 pm

He couldn't resist the Temptation.

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Guess I should have said "Barry Why."

Goonemeritus January 6, 2012 at 9:45 am

Please won’t you give to the Blah people’s college fund even a blah mind is a terrible thing to waste!

cheaphits January 6, 2012 at 6:28 pm

All of the blah people I know are conservative republicans…they don't lack the money to go to college, just the brains to get in anywhere but places like Orel Roberts, Bob Jones university and trailer rental and U. of Phoenix..

Texan_Bulldog January 6, 2012 at 9:46 am

Once you go blah, you never go back?

kissawookiee January 6, 2012 at 10:14 am

No, you never go bah.

chicken_thief January 6, 2012 at 10:40 am

That's what she(ep) said.

Swampgas_Man January 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

You never go Hoo-hah!

Beetagger January 6, 2012 at 9:46 am

You say tomato, I say homo… Blah.

Pragmatist2 January 6, 2012 at 9:47 am

Is it too early to get drunk?

prommie January 6, 2012 at 9:50 am

Never.

LesBontemps January 6, 2012 at 10:02 am

It's only too late to stay drunk.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 6, 2012 at 10:00 am

isher wirt bogggl frumpthg%4!!!!!!11!!
Erp?

DaRooster January 6, 2012 at 10:01 am

It's perpetual these days…

anniegetyerfun January 6, 2012 at 10:21 am

Is anyone going to come up with a Santorum-inspired cocktail for the season.

Heh. Cock. Tail.

C_R_Eature January 6, 2012 at 11:43 am

Someone did. Urgh, it's too early for this.

Cunning_Linguist January 6, 2012 at 2:58 pm

That can't be good for you. Or your bedsheets.

Loaded_Pants January 6, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Gag!

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 10:27 am

The sun's over the yardarm in some time zone.

widestanceshakedown January 6, 2012 at 10:55 am

Waiting for it to be late enough to drink is no way to live, son.

Texan_Bulldog January 6, 2012 at 9:47 am

Donald Trump: I have a great relationship with the blahs. (Okay, I'll stop!)

neiltheblaze January 6, 2012 at 9:49 am

It's a blah thing – we whys don't understand.

Fare la Volpe January 6, 2012 at 10:23 am

Well all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a why guy.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 10:33 am

Brilliant! Whys and Blahs!

SorosBot January 6, 2012 at 10:02 am

George Bush doesn't care about blah people.

Moonbatting Average January 6, 2012 at 10:14 am

Fear of a Blah Planet

Fare la Volpe January 6, 2012 at 10:15 am

You can't say blah – that's our word.

HempDogbane January 6, 2012 at 10:21 am

He's clean and articulate, for a Blah guy…

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 10:30 am

James Blaown: Say it loud, I'm blah and I'm proud!

sunmusing January 6, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I wonder if'n Callista gives a good blahjob.

Barb January 6, 2012 at 9:47 am

If there were a santorum sex tape, it wouldn't leak. It would OOZE….

SorosBot January 6, 2012 at 10:24 am

Oh god, now that awful image is going to be stuck in my head all day.

Barb January 6, 2012 at 10:27 am

Sorry, I'll send you some naked pictures if that would help change what's in your head.

prommie January 6, 2012 at 10:34 am

cc me, please!

Chichikovovich January 6, 2012 at 11:13 am

Is this going to be some kind of practical joke, where I get all excited and then when I open them they turn out to be naked pictures of Santorum?

deanbooth January 6, 2012 at 12:57 pm

At certain moments of lucidity, the mechanical aspects of Santorum's gestures, his meaningless pantomime makes silly everything that surrounds him. He secretes the inhuman.

prommie January 6, 2012 at 9:49 am

Today, we are all Bozos on this bus.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 6, 2012 at 10:04 am

We Bozos have a saying: 'When you put on the nose, it grows.'

GOPCrusher January 6, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Well, you know what they say about guys with big clown shoes.

Chillwaver January 6, 2012 at 9:49 am

Ron Paul would kill for those eyebrows!

Rosie_Scenario January 6, 2012 at 9:56 am

Luckily, he can purchase them. The free market works.

Chillwaver January 6, 2012 at 10:20 am

He already did, but the "invisible hand" doesn't seem to be keeping them in place.

Goonemeritus January 6, 2012 at 9:50 am

"Schoolchildren across the state will soon believe the Earth is only 5,772 years old."

Well when you count the begat’s in the Bible it’s hard to come up with a much bigger number unless people had children much latter in life than we do now. I think we can all agree that just doesn’t seem scientific.

Geminisunmars January 6, 2012 at 1:11 pm

You statement deserves considerable consideration.

EatsBabyDingos January 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

New Hampshire shouldn't play with a Magna Doodle, let alone a magna carta.

Barb January 6, 2012 at 9:52 am

Wow, nice headline to awaken to:
Rick Santorum-Linked Universal Health Services Facility: Fraud, Assault And Alleged 'Exorcism' Wonder if there is split pea soup in santorum? Yeah, split pea and hamster soup!

Chichikovovich January 6, 2012 at 11:20 am

Ah, this was what I was waiting for. Republican power-broker central is opening up it's files of damaging stuff to get the latest not-Romney out of the way before he does damage to some Republican other than himself. Just as they did with all the other not-Romneys these past months.

It's a chilling story, I must say. Who would have thought that Rick Santorum would be involved with a hospital where an autistic child would be treated with "exorcism" to cast out the autism demons?

But that is what appeared to be happening in an empty room at Marion in May 2007, according to a facility teacher who passed by the room, which was occupied by at least one nurse, a supervisor, a janitor and a boy with autism. Several in the room appeared to be hovering over the boy and praying, according to the teacher, who recounted the incident shortly after to Barbara Jones, the center's director of education at the time.

The severity of the boy's autism left him hardly able to speak and unable to walk on his own, Jones says.

"'They were trying to exorcise him. That's why he had the autism, he had a demon in him,'" Jones recounted what the teacher told her to The Huffington Post. "The cleaning lady was trying to cast out the demons."

wondering where i am January 6, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Wha? Not blah at all.

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 9:53 am

Wouldn't it be more of a headline if Santorum actually hadn't said something stupid?

hollywooddood January 6, 2012 at 9:53 am

I saw the video. He totally said "blah". And then he went on to say "blah, blah, blah, blah."

GOPCrusher January 6, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Ah, a Dracula movie.

Geminisunmars January 6, 2012 at 1:14 pm

I won't vote for anyone who says "blah, blah, blah."

Yada, yada, yada, on the other hand…

Baconzgood January 6, 2012 at 9:54 am

This is how wars are started.

prommie January 6, 2012 at 9:54 am

Alls we need right about now is a shootin' war with Iran (where the Roman Empire went to die) to firm up this barely tumescent economic recovery, what ho?

ManchuCandidate January 6, 2012 at 9:54 am

Blah is the new Black.
Santorum is the new… um… Santorum.

SorosBot January 6, 2012 at 9:55 am

Man, blah people just gut all the breaks.

littlebigdaddy January 6, 2012 at 9:55 am

But what about that hawt man on dog action with which Rick is so obsessed?

Dudleydidwrong January 6, 2012 at 10:24 am

It must be somewhere in the Magna Carta.

Radiotherapy January 6, 2012 at 9:56 am

I've always had a good relationship with the blahs.

MrsBiggTime January 6, 2012 at 9:56 am

Santorum just pulled that excuse out of his ass.

Geminisunmars January 6, 2012 at 1:18 pm

No, I believe he actually thought about it, which might be even scarier. Oh, wait, I see what you did…

Serolf_Divad January 6, 2012 at 9:57 am

He didn't say "black" he said "nigra." (Guaranteed frontrunner status in South Carolina).

Barb January 6, 2012 at 9:57 am

I'm just stunned that he didn't call them "nigs"

prommie January 6, 2012 at 10:00 am

'Groids.

Barb January 6, 2012 at 10:04 am

Jungle Blahnees.

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 10:02 am

No, he's too polite. "Neeeeee-gros" would be more his speed. And he would NOT understand why anyone could possibly take offense.

ManchuCandidate January 6, 2012 at 10:03 am

Nearers.

DaRooster January 6, 2012 at 10:03 am

Jiggablahs?

Ms_Anthrope January 6, 2012 at 10:46 am

Bligga, please

emmelemm January 6, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Hee!

mrblifil January 6, 2012 at 10:56 am

That was the reason for his "hesitation." So many choices…

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 10:00 am

I was gonna go with Blahfrican-Blahmericans.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 10:29 am

(Well shit, this was double-posted, so I deleted one and both got deleted. The original wisecrack was:)

We're not "Blahs" anymore, Frothy. We're "Ablahca-Ahmablacahs"!

Barb January 6, 2012 at 10:31 am

I got fired up there for a minute thinking that someone deleted your post.

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 10:41 am

Does this mean that Chet is The Administrator, i.e. The Man?

prommie January 6, 2012 at 10:45 am

I'm waiting for my man.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 10:55 am

Probably one of the proprietors was helpfully deleting the double just as I was, so both got deleted (he lies to cover the fact that Chet was KBJ all along!).

ManchuCandidate January 6, 2012 at 10:02 am

As for war with Iran…
1) Who was the geninuz that thought "Hey, wouldn't it be a great idea to conduct war games on the doorstep of Iran… with Israel"? Outside of the neocons that is. I can understand in the Eastern Med cause that's where Israel is…
2) On the other hand Iran, your histrionics and drama queen posturing isn't going to help when your navy is made up of subs that rarely leave port and consists of 2 squadrons of frigates and corvettes aka in navalese, tin cans which are named such because they're very expendable.

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 10:19 am

I think they also have some zodiac boats, a couple of service boats for the offshore oil rigs, and FROGMEN. I always dug that term. Frogmen.

swordfis January 6, 2012 at 10:37 am

Diplomacy is dick-waving by other means.

DaRooster January 6, 2012 at 10:02 am

Rick, trust me… straights do NOT get married to be happy… at least not the first 2 times apparently.

EatsBabyDingos January 6, 2012 at 10:04 am

Blah people's names anagram style: I Rank Scrotum. Or is Ranki Scrotum better?

elviouslyqueer January 6, 2012 at 10:04 am

"Blah people didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on us."

Tah dah! Rick Santorum, sorted.

Tundra Grifter January 6, 2012 at 10:05 am

According to today's "Morning Money" from POLITICO, Santorum doubled his wealth since leaving office and has been on the ClusterFox payroll.

Of course, one could well ask which GNoPee candidate hasn't been on the Murdoch gravy train.

Would it be too much to ask when FoxPAC talking heads conduct infomercials with fellow employees that the network identifies them as such?

Fare la Volpe January 6, 2012 at 10:06 am

All civil rights must be enumerated by the Magna Carta
No one is required to learn anything in school

The GOPers are trying to reinstate a new permanent slave class, aren't they? And who better to fill it with than with all those new blah people?

DahBoner January 6, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Blah is the new yada…

emmelemm January 6, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Are there many blah people in New Hampshire? Methinks not.

freakishlywrong January 6, 2012 at 10:07 am

Blahk is the new white.

Tundra Grifter January 6, 2012 at 10:07 am

Bobby "Blue" Bland (last time I checked, he's Black) libel!

But certainly not Blah…

Blueb4sunrise January 6, 2012 at 11:08 am

His song 'I Pity the Fool', done by Shemekia Copeblahnd and Roblaht Cray, is one of my favorites.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m80A9GPsbLQ

Tundra Grifter January 6, 2012 at 1:23 pm

His classic remains "Nobody Loves You When You're Down and Out."

Unless you're a failed GNoPee candidate, in which case The Manwill make you a millionaire.

See"Santorum, Rick." And Duh Gov'Nuh. Ole Newt. et. al. Also.

Blueb4sunrise January 6, 2012 at 2:35 pm

?

OneYieldRegular January 6, 2012 at 10:07 am

Just how much longer do we have to watch Rick Santorum's histrionic, convoluted pathology play out in public when he should be handling it in the comfort and privacy of a therapist's office?

LesBontemps January 6, 2012 at 10:07 am

"Shameless" just got a brand new definition.

ManchuCandidate January 6, 2012 at 10:07 am

So does this mean the NAACP can boycott Bob Loblaw's Law Blog because it took "their" word?

Monsieur_Grumpe January 6, 2012 at 10:08 am

New Hampshire is now effectively ending compulsory education. You mean they haven't already? I thought I had an explanation for this fine crop of moron republican candidates.

subsum January 6, 2012 at 10:08 am

"…then straights can marry as many other straights as they want just to be happy.”

They do, Mr. Santorum: people get married, they get a divorce and they get married again. Then they get another divorce and they marry someone else and so on. Didn't you know?

Fare la Volpe January 6, 2012 at 10:17 am

I wonder if Li'l Ricky's head would explode if he knew just how many times the Jabba impersonator next to him on stage had been married.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 12:03 pm

The hot rumor du jour is that they have a non-aggression pact so they can gang up on Mittens.

GOPCrusher January 6, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Worked for Mickey Rooney.

Limeylizzie January 6, 2012 at 10:10 am

That is not Rick Santorum, is it, looks like a low-rent Chris Noth.

ManchuCandidate January 6, 2012 at 10:12 am

In fairness to Santorum, Chris Noth is a low rent Chris Noth.

Barb January 6, 2012 at 10:15 am

The guy in the photo is mantastic. Santorum is manthrax.

Fare la Volpe January 6, 2012 at 10:26 am

I think they established up top that it's Peter Gallagher.

Limeylizzie January 6, 2012 at 10:30 am

That sounds right.

BornInATrailer January 6, 2012 at 2:08 pm

And to be fair, Chris Noth is probably more of a low-rent Peter Gallagher.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 10:42 am

By the way Sweetie, the trailer for "French Tail" – I mean, "Red Tails," looks action-packed with Nazi shoot-downs, but light on the romance. "Take that, Mr. Hitler!"

I think it's awful that Lucas went back to Episode IV 34 years later and made everyone Blah with CG, also!!

Limeylizzie January 6, 2012 at 10:59 am

No French Girl/Heroic Negro action????? What kind of film is that??

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 11:13 am

I mean, we've given them all the script-doctoring they need right here on intensedebate!

Limeylizzie January 6, 2012 at 11:16 am

Bring on the Gouda.

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 11:02 am

I'm sure that, as a movie about blah men in WWII, this film will stand with such classics as "A Soldier's Story," but with P-51 Mustangs instead of smoke-generating trucks. Too bad Adolph Caesar isn't still around to keep those "worthless geechees" in line.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 11:12 am

Is he the one with that delightful line-reading of "The race can't afford any more like yew!"

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 11:39 am

You know what OTHER Adolph thought he was Caesar?!

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 10:12 am

Stop talking that
Blah blah blah
Think you'll be getting this
Nah nah nah
Not in the back of my
Car-ar-ar
If you keep talking that
Blah blah blah blah blah

weejee January 6, 2012 at 10:14 am

Reading the Wonkette each morning helps to see the world more clearly in blah and wine.

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 10:14 am

What, he said blah, not black??
Oh, I'm sorry. Never mind.

-Emily Litella

paris biltong January 6, 2012 at 10:16 am

1) To Iran's credit, at least they don't carry out those exercises half way around the world, like some other countries' navies
2) Would it be a good idea to avoid all mentions of Republican party politics for a few days, just to see how it feels?

Mojopo January 6, 2012 at 10:30 am

2) No. That's how King Paultard and Frothy Mess got free passes in Iowa. Sorry, but the magnification lenses have to be stronger now.

Arken January 6, 2012 at 10:17 am

New Hampshire is going to have trouble with the section of the Magna Carta dealing with the return of Welsh prisoners, but they'll probably be okay with the 'you don't have to pay back the money your dad owes to Jews' clause.

Redhead January 6, 2012 at 10:18 am

BREAKING: Sarah Palin quit something, John McCain forgot where he put something five minutes ago, Cain sexually harassed a woman, Bachmann made crazy eyes while Marcus gazed longing at some new purse, Perry got drunk and tried act sober, Romney put his foot in his mouth trying to act like one of the everyday people instead of a rich ass, Gingrich divorced his old trophy wife for a new trophy wife and everyone ignored Huntsman.

In other breaking news, sky is blue, etc.

SorosBot January 6, 2012 at 10:22 am

Did Ron Paul say something sensible, then go off on an insane rant about the Fed and goooooold that made no sense but got lots of applause from his cult followers too?

Redhead January 6, 2012 at 12:51 pm

He did but no one noticed except the cult followers because everyone ignored him even more than Huntsman.

Mojopo January 6, 2012 at 10:21 am

This is the part when Judge Judy bangs her gavel and instructs Mr. Santorum to stop peeing on her leg and telling her it's raining.

What is the great great googly moogly is happening in NH? Is this about home schooling? I do think there are instances when home schooling works, provided that the parents are educators themselves, or they hire educators and give their kids a chance to socialize. But too often the "socialization" part of home schooling is considering a pinko code word and the kids only get to hang out with other bored home schoolers. Plus, colleges require specific courses and parental preferences do not trump their standards. I just don't see how this education plan can have proper oversight. It would cost money, and those baggers won't spend dime ONE on education.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 12:01 pm

The answer, of course, is Home Universities. Which will of course lead to the establishment of Amish/Hardcore Mormon-like religious communities for the kiddies' adult lives. Oh wait, I'm describing the New South.

Mojopo January 6, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Chet, as far as I can tell there has been no threat to home schooling in NH. So – gee – I'll go out on a limb and suggest that this recent bit of fucking nonsense is the educational equivalent of reaffirming "In God We Trust" on moneee. These baggers in NH waste time better than anyone. They are the guys on road crew shining the guard rails with their ginormous rears.

emmelemm January 6, 2012 at 2:53 pm

This is the part when Judge Judy bangs her gavel and instructs Mr. Santorum to stop peeing on her leg and telling her it's raining.

That's always my favorite part!

Radiotherapy January 6, 2012 at 10:21 am

You know who else didn't like the blahs?

Barb January 6, 2012 at 10:29 am

The NHL?

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 11:07 am

Dustin Byfuglien libel!!

imissopus January 6, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Wayne Simmonds libel!

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 10:34 am

That "I Don't Like Mondays" chick?

SorosBot January 6, 2012 at 10:37 am

Baba Wawa?

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 11:10 am
Fare la Volpe January 6, 2012 at 10:38 am

There was some obscure German chancellor who wouldn't shake hands with the blah athletes at the Olympics.

What was that guy's name again? Hmmm….

elviouslyqueer January 6, 2012 at 10:55 am

Bull Connor?

James Earl Ray?

The South until yesterday?

jus_wonderin January 6, 2012 at 10:57 am

Karen Carpenter?

Radiotherapy January 6, 2012 at 11:05 am

Rainy Days and Sundaes Always Bring me Down.

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 11:06 am

Well, she usually brought the sundaes back up after she ate them, if you know what I mean.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 11:11 am

Too soon (to bring up the sundaes)!

not that Dewey January 6, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Cathy?

GOPCrusher January 6, 2012 at 12:54 pm

The inventor of Abilify?

HarryButtle January 6, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Walt Disney?

imissopus January 6, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Sylvia Plath?

mookwrthwilson January 6, 2012 at 10:21 am

What did Sandy Cohen ever do to you to be associated with ol Brown and Frothy?

BlueStateLibel January 6, 2012 at 10:22 am

And I didn't say you were a douchebag, Rick Santorum, I said you were a dunderhead. Big difference.

SorosBot January 6, 2012 at 10:24 am

Saying something racist, then denying that he ever said it, even though it's pretty clear he did; Santorum is trying to rip off Ron Paul here.

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 10:25 am

For his next autobiography, he can paraphrase the title of John Howard Griffin's seminal book of the civil rights era, Blah Like Me. Kinda fits.

Rest at pale evening…
A tall slim tree…
Night coming tenderly
Blah like me.
(apologies to Langston Hughes)

johnnyzhivago January 6, 2012 at 10:27 am

Wait a minute…

Whenever I feel blah I cheer up if someone gives me somebody else's money.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 10:30 am

Today we are all Blahs.

Chichikovovich January 6, 2012 at 10:53 am

I'm going to put on the drabest, blandest glove I have, and thrust my fist in the air in honor of this moment.

GOPCrusher January 6, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I wondered why I always felt different then the rest of the kids in my class. Now I know.

Dudleydidwrong January 6, 2012 at 10:33 am

Santorum will climb (or get squirted) all over that Magna Carta idea and will promise NH voters that if he's elected all acts of congress will be vetoed unless they can claim a clear link to the ancient document. Newt, it's your turn. Top that one, I double dare ya.

Now we're getting real serious-like about this history thingy.

Guppy January 6, 2012 at 11:42 am

Santorum can't go along with the Magna Carta thing. The folks who wrote it were excommunicated.

Radiotherapy January 6, 2012 at 10:34 am

Hermann Cain is a real blah man.

Terry January 6, 2012 at 10:36 am

The people of Pennsylvania realize that Santorum is a profoundly stupid man and tossed him out of office by a margin of 18%. That's massive for an incumbent.

Now, if only the GOP'ers would come to the same realization. What am I saying? When has stupidity been an impediment to a successful career within the Republican Party?

DaRooster January 6, 2012 at 10:36 am

Sorry, I am still voting for Blahrak Oblahma.

DonnyKerabotsos January 6, 2012 at 10:39 am

I took a blah studies class when I was in college. It was kinda boring.

DerrickWildcat January 6, 2012 at 10:41 am

I think they should give this tape to the Ghost Hunters because they are very good at hearing a noise and then can tell that that noise was no noise but something a ghost was saying.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 10:56 am

Don't ever change.

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 10:43 am

Do blah people still like to drive Cadillahs?

Radiotherapy January 6, 2012 at 10:49 am

Kools are so blah.

Chichikovovich January 6, 2012 at 10:47 am

"if gays can marry gays just to make themselves happy then straights can marry as many other straights as they want just to be happy,"

Y'know, Rick does have a point. Once people use "marriage" and related words to mean something other than specifically a union between one man and one woman, then anything could happen. For example, Rick Santorum could be wedded to dozens of hateful, crazy ideas.

?

OMIGOD! It's already happened!

widestanceshakedown January 6, 2012 at 10:50 am

I wear blah on the outside, as blah as I feel on the inside.

Chichikovovich January 6, 2012 at 10:51 am

I am breathless with anticipation for next week's denial/"clarification" from Santorum:

"No, no, I said "Those naggers are the real racists."

DaRooster January 6, 2012 at 10:56 am

So I can bully Santorum due to religious beliefs correct?

HIS?

DocChaos January 6, 2012 at 10:57 am

How is it that the same country capable of launching technology into space that can determine if the speed of light in the ancient part of the universe was marginally different than it is today, can entertain the idea that Rick Santorum is a viable nominee for one of its major political parties?

The march of civilization is all the more impressive when one considers that all progress is made by a tiny minority while the masses are exhorted to club them with sticks.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

" all progress is made by a tiny minority…"

Gary Coleman was the Starchild?!

imissopus January 6, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Emmanuel Lewis libel!

mrblifil January 6, 2012 at 10:57 am

It might have been smarter had he gone with "Macaca."

Generation[redacted] January 6, 2012 at 10:58 am

I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. Some of my best friends are blurred people, especially when I've been drinking.

widestanceshakedown January 6, 2012 at 10:58 am

Santorum is the suppuration of church and state.

Tundra Grifter January 6, 2012 at 11:06 am

WSSD:

I would have said Ricky is the church suppository for application into the state.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 11:19 am

Pussy mix.

widestanceshakedown January 6, 2012 at 11:33 am

Is that available in fun flavors. like Slammin' Slime and Hairy Cherry?

[promise, no more puns that bad for the rest of the week]

DaRooster January 6, 2012 at 10:59 am

It would be nice if Mr Deeds would do to Santorum what he did to Peter Gallagher while playing tennis…

Guppy January 6, 2012 at 10:59 am

Great, so now Santorum wants to criminalize threesomes as well?

There goes my porn collection.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 11:01 am

(Nature Show Host hushed voice:) And so, the circle of life revolves again! A newborn, baby Meme pecks its way into the larger world to feel the air on its fuzzy skin and take its first trembling steps. Listen to its cry… "Blah!…Blah!"

(Is stealing from myself a sin, Frothy? It feels so good…)

jus_wonderin January 6, 2012 at 11:22 am

"Oh no! The Blah Meme is chasing Jim. No, no, no, it caught him. Oh I can't look. Oh my!"

jus_wonderin January 6, 2012 at 11:06 am

Ricky is subscribing to the "KISS" theory.

chicken_thief January 6, 2012 at 11:07 am

“if gays can marry gays just to make themselves happy…."

Way to gloss over all the legal ramifications of not being wed, dumb fuck. And if sex is forbidden unless one is procreating, what difference would it make who got married?

Generation[redacted] January 6, 2012 at 12:46 pm

For a reasonable price, I am offering a 100% legal pre-nup, marriage, and post-dated (by one night) divorce combined into a simple form you and your new friend can both electronically sign from your smart phones. Have fun, but keep it legal, blah people!

mrblifil January 6, 2012 at 11:11 am

Hey when do we get to talk about Karen Santorum's late abortion, wherein termination was "chosen" to save her life (she had already come down with sepsis)? Because I think this information puts Santorum in the annals of anuses.
http://oursilverribbon.org/blog/?p=188

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 11:44 am

Fucking hypocrite liar, and then has to make special fucking arguments to justify saving his wife's life??!! God, I hate this fucker. Thanks for bringing that to our attention – I thought he was a buffoon, but now I'm mad!!

mrblifil January 6, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Thanks. It is simply outrageous, and I say that with no irony at all.

emmelemm January 6, 2012 at 2:58 pm

It's even more outrageous than Newt trying to impeach Clinton while fucking Calista on the side, and that's a HIGH hurdle to clear.

Geminisunmars January 6, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Another case of (for?) Exceptionalism.

SayItWithWookies January 6, 2012 at 11:19 am

Oh, it's a blah thing — no fuckin' wonder I don't understand.

Ruhe January 6, 2012 at 11:29 am

The "black/blah" thing sounds bad, I admit, but the bright side is that "blah" is the sound you make when the demons leave your body. My cleaning lady told me so. So Rick's probably all better now.

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 11:37 am

Was your cleaning lady serviced by Piyush "Bobby The Exorcist" Jindal?

DaRooster January 6, 2012 at 11:31 am

This town guy needs an enema!

chascates January 6, 2012 at 11:47 am

He's not surging so much as overflowing.

Rayn_And January 6, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Blah couple moved in next door…I figure if they can afford to live in this neighborhood, they might as well be white.

cheetojeebus January 6, 2012 at 12:18 pm

My hate for this fucking douche is now surging.

not that Dewey January 6, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Just wait until the blahggers catch wind of this.

DahBoner January 6, 2012 at 1:26 pm

#SANTORUMSAIDSOMETHINGSTUPID

This hashtag has the potential to overload the whole intertubes…

Tundra Grifter January 6, 2012 at 1:26 pm

As we say on St. Patrick's Day, "Erin go Blah!"

BornInATrailer January 6, 2012 at 2:02 pm

What does Blah Walnuts think of this nonsense?

WinterOuthouse January 6, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I'm going to marry a goat named Billy.

Cunning_Linguist January 6, 2012 at 2:55 pm

It's just that I'm not sexually attracted to Blah people.

Neoyorquino January 6, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Can't you see that man is a ni?

ttommyunger January 7, 2012 at 8:15 am

I guess you used the pix of Santorum's self-image instead of the reality-based Johnny Tambourine image, right?

BaldarTFlagass January 6, 2012 at 10:46 am

Settle down, Lou. He's stuck in the crosstown traffic.

prommie January 6, 2012 at 11:13 am

They always make you wait.

elviouslyqueer January 6, 2012 at 11:35 am

This comment has been deleted by KBJ, masquerading as Chet Kincaid.

elviouslyqueer January 6, 2012 at 11:37 am

MAMA CASS LIBEL, also.

Fare la Volpe January 6, 2012 at 11:47 am

Cass only failed to swallow once.

forgracie January 6, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Honey, I'd take you to Lillian's Music store and then the Hippodrome if I weren't already…ahem…committed. We probably crossed paths in Gainesville in the eighties and just didn't know it.

GOPCrusher January 6, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Whats even more hilarious is that Dobson, Bauer, and other members of the American Taliban are meeting to try to find someone even more insane to run for the nomination, because they hate the Mormons and Romney that much.

GOPCrusher January 6, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Where's Jim Garrison when we need him?

Chet Kincaid January 6, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Back and to the left.

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