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12 Hot Tips to make Rick Santorum want to sex you up, for Jesus.Now that he’s just eight paid Romney supporters away from being the most popular Republican presidential candidate in all the land, Rick Santorum is getting a “second look” from many who had mostly forgotten about the Pennsylvania oddball back when he lost his Senate seat by 17 points, to a Democrat, in Pennsylvania. But Rick Santorum has not quit being Rick in the half-dozen years since history tried to wash him away like a weird stain. And now that he’s theoretically closer to being the Republican nominee, it also means it is scientifically possible he could end up as president of the United States. Many gentleman and ladies will be wanting to know some of his sex tips!

All of these are REAL THINGS RICK SANTORUM HAS SAID, about sexytime and its tragic consequences:

You may be wondering, after enjoying this erotic collection of mental misfires, if anyone outside of a few thousand deranged weirdos in Iowa trying to “teach Mitt Romney a lesson” ever took Rick Santorum seriously. Well, yes, there was one person. Peggy Noonan. Peggy Noonan took Rick Santorum seriously. Probably still does. This is what she actually wrote for publication about Rick Santorum in 2006, the year he was brutally thrown out of office by Pennsylvania’s repulsed voters:

But here’s an exception: the state of Pennsylvania, which has been this year a bright patch of meaning. Its U.S. Senate contest has been the great race of the cycle, the one about which conservatives in their hearts most care. And not only conservatives, but those who know, for whatever reason and in whatever way, that there is something truly at stake here, something beyond mere red team and blue.

That would be Sen. Rick Santorum. The sense among so many people — including politicians and journalists — is that the Senate needs his sort, his kind.

Never forget.

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