'SANTORUM' SOUNDS ICKY IN EVERY LANGUAGE  12:47 pm January 4, 2012

Even Taiwan Cracking ‘Come From Behind’ Jokes About Rick Santorum

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson


The busy animator-slaves in Taiwan watched the Iowa GOP caucuses, too! They apparently also had pretty good drugs, since we missed the awesome part of the evening where a giant Octopus ate Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney was pelted with Bibles. At least they correctly understood that all Iowa caucus newz items are required by law and decency to come headlined with a gross Rick Santorum zinger like “Santorum nearly squeezes out come-from-behind Iowa caucus victory.” [NMA.tv]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 60 comments }

Barb January 4, 2012 at 12:49 pm

He "squeezed out a come from behind…." Looks like Rick's been working his male Kegel exercises.

nounverb911 January 4, 2012 at 12:49 pm

This is good news for KY Jelly.

edgydrifter January 4, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Santorum is slippery and foul. And so is the candidate.

ProgressiveInga January 4, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Buttsecks humor is no respecter of culture.

Crank_Tango January 4, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Jizz, Poo & Lube Libel!!!!

BaldarTFlagass January 4, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I reckon that them Oriental folks are rooting for Mitt, due to his record on reducing Asian unemployment over the years.

SexySmurf January 4, 2012 at 1:05 pm

If I didn't already know that America is the greatest, bestest, most bitchin' thing Jeebus ever blessed, I'd think we were the laughing stock of the world.

memzilla January 4, 2012 at 1:06 pm

"…we missed the awesome part of the evening where a giant Octopus ate Newt Gingrich…"

Look closer. Cthulhu always reclaims His Own.

BaldarTFlagass January 4, 2012 at 1:25 pm

The giant squid scene in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea was one of my favorites.

finallyhappy January 4, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Cephalopods are really intelligent so I don't think one would eat Newt.

PalinzADummy January 4, 2012 at 5:21 pm

The silent version or cartoon version or what?

BaldarTFlagass January 4, 2012 at 6:45 pm

The one I remember from my youth was a disney pic, I think made in the 1950s?

PalinzADummy January 8, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Haven't seen that. Will put on list. Nothing like a good cephalopod tentacle-fight.

Grief_Lessons January 4, 2012 at 1:08 pm

He who cannot be Googled cannot be elected.

littlebigdaddy January 4, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Better political analysis than I heard on Fux Newz.

BaldarTFlagass January 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Far more comprehensible, anyway. Maybe Fox should go with the subtitles.

Rotundo_ January 4, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Their target audience is illiterate, who would read them?

PocketsTheClown January 5, 2012 at 12:40 am

Bears. Or (redacted)tards.

weejee January 4, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Isn't that Santorum's US Rep?

NorthStarSpanx January 4, 2012 at 1:14 pm

I'm glad all this political comedy gold is not lost in translation.

Mumbletypeg January 4, 2012 at 1:15 pm

You know what else "sounds icky in every language?"

ProgressiveInga January 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

gefilte fish?

SayItWithWookies January 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Chris Christie and Marcus Bachmann getting it on in an airport bathroom stall?

elviouslyqueer January 4, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Callista Gingrich?

Rotundo_ January 4, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Lutefisk.

sarjo January 5, 2012 at 5:13 pm

yo mama?

SayItWithWookies January 4, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Silly me — I would've sworn it was going to be Rick Perry who most needed to worry about Santorum on his back.

superdave January 4, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Oh man! That is all kindsa awesome! As a person of Taiwanese descent, I'm going to bask in their reflected glory.

natoslug January 4, 2012 at 1:39 pm

As someone who ate Korean food a few weeks ago, I'm also going to bask in their reflected glory. Korea's in Taiwanland, right?

hagajim January 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Gotta love the buttseks humor. And now we get to pull off the hilarious Santorum jokes at least through South Carolina.

MissTaken January 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

The world thanks you, Dan Savage.

Callyson January 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Today, we are all a giant octopus…

chascates January 4, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Must be something in the rice.

PsycWench January 4, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Dammit, I managed to distract my 69-year-old mom when she asked what the other meaning of Santorum is. Keep this in the news and I'll eventually have to dish out my signature daughterly line "I'm going to ask you to trust me when I say YOU DON"T WANT TO KNOW".

JustPixelz January 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm

You're back! That evil psychology gig didn't work out, eh?

If you haven't seen it already, watch Julia Sweeney's "Sex Ed." monologue at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ry-LwxR746s&no

It's a funny (to me) account of how a little misdirection discussing sex with a child, leads to unforeseen (yet foreseeable) consequences.

finallyhappy January 4, 2012 at 3:09 pm

You underestimate your mom. my husband is almost 70- and he knows all about this!

Dashboard Buddha January 4, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I thought Marcus came from behind.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 4, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I thought Marcus came from a reach around.

LionHeartSoyDog January 4, 2012 at 1:40 pm

"Hi yo, waiting ma!"

mavenmaven January 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Maybe Wonkette needs to have Weather Girls, like they have http://www.nma.tv/wednesday-weather-girl-mimi-50/

Beowoof January 4, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Maybe we could get Stephanie Abrams over at the Weather Channel to change her reporting style. It would wake me up in the morning.

KarenJ503 January 7, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Or life-size doll Weather Girls…
http://dollforum.com/forum/index.php

(NSFW – but then, most of Wonkette isn't either)

pinkocommi January 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Finally, a serious Republican presidential candidate that is a piece of shit both figuratively and literally!

FakaktaSouth January 4, 2012 at 1:48 pm

This Santorum Mass Mockery Iowan Surge is nothing but good for me. I know it sounds crazy but the more sunlight, the more this shit is shown for what it is and the less people around here will cleave to it. Even more Santorum all over the place – it's so good for the stupids, so much bad comes from the "just barely knowing" around here, I swear.

dijetlo January 4, 2012 at 2:39 pm

This article from Catholic.org

You can't make this shit up…..

Pres.Libunatic January 4, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Especially the double-entendre comments which made it past the censors.

Joe Grundy
January 4th, 2012 9:00 am

It's been tight, but somehow things have opened up for Santorum. He'll finish strong, you'll see. You'll be seeing Santorum all over the place.

Rick Pahr
January 3rd, 2012 9:03 pm

Santorum is the comeback story of the year. He came out of nowhere into this murky field republican candidates, all tight in the polls but very different in character. Santorum is truly the only candidate who represents true Christian values. No one comes back like Santorum! He's the only one who will beat back the brown come November.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 9, 2012 at 6:12 pm

A. Wolf
January 6th, 2012 9:08 am

I agree it is invigorating to see Santorum squeaking out a number-two victory. After a long push from behind, Santorum has clearly emerged from the rear of GOP contenders. If Santorum can come from behind today, we should expect to see more of him coming up in the near future.

paris biltong January 4, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Her in France, people are kinda taken aback by Sahnto-room, still identified on TV news as "le sénateur de Pensylvanie". They mistrust his religiosity and are flabbergasted by a politician who thanks God for his election results, things not seen since the nineteenth century.

PocketsTheClown January 5, 2012 at 12:51 am

Pennsylvania does share a border with West Virginia.

MaxNeanderthal January 4, 2012 at 4:24 pm

I hear his wife doesn't know which way to turn…..

ttommyunger January 4, 2012 at 8:07 pm

With all the top contenders sucking on the God Teat so hard it's beginning to look like the Taliban is winning over here without even setting foot on American soil.

C_R_Eature January 4, 2012 at 9:17 pm

I remember thinking in January, 2009 that "Whatever happens now, we'll never be this embarrassed by our leaders in front of the whole wide world again!"

So, So wrong.

Snarkfest January 4, 2012 at 11:13 pm

That's because Taiwan is hipper than Iowa.

OneYieldRegular January 5, 2012 at 9:49 am

I can usually take or leave these Taiwanese animation bits, but I find that throwing bibles thing hysterical.

Canmon January 5, 2012 at 3:12 pm

"Santorum" is Mandarin for "frothy".

Numbat_Dundee January 5, 2012 at 5:49 pm

It's actually close enough to "San Tou Ren" which sort of means "Three headed man".

Tommmcattt January 5, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Was that lil' Andy Breightbart hanging himself in shame and despair in the video there?

I think I just had a spontaneous orgasm.

Redhead January 6, 2012 at 9:49 am

Usually these animations are hilarious, but if there is one thing I do NOT want a visualization of, it's Santorum.

DahBoner January 7, 2012 at 2:36 pm

9 Things You Need to Know About Rick Santorum

I swear I thought it said nine things you need to know about Ringworm….

HistoriCat January 9, 2012 at 8:36 pm

I think that's the one with Kirk Douglas.

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