How did wicked gazillionaire Mitt Romney manage to eke out a 8-point vote win over prickly schoolmarm Rick Santorum? Well, there’s at least one reason we know of: he hates job creation. In his eleventh-hour victory-cession speech, Romney in fact bragged about his remarkable refusal to create jobs, in this case of the campaign variety. He cut his Iowa campaign staff by 90% since his 2008 run! Does someone maybe need a reminder of the CENTRAL PREMISE OF HIS CAMPAIGN PLATFORM?
The Des Moines Register reports on Romney’s one-man inverse stimulus program:
Romney did relatively little campaigning or advertising here until a few weeks ago, when he started pouring resources and time into the Iowa contest. He took advantage of contacts he made during his full-tilt 2008 campaign, and his staff quietly set up an organization that made him the eventual winner of Iowa’s GOP caucus, besting Rick Santorum by just eight votes.
[...]
Romney thanked his volunteers for helping carry the leaner campaign he ran in Iowa this time. “When I ran four years ago we had 52 members of our full-time staff. This year we had five,” he said.
Fantastic! With any luck, he can get that unemployment rate down to 30, maybe 40 percent. [Des Moines Register]
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Why should he give a fuck? It's all other people's money, anyway.
That was the corporate motto at Bain…
Quite honestly, I'm surprised he even bothered at all. In 2008, he got his ass handed to him by Hucklebee because the Iowa Evangelicals were pissed about his pro-choice stance while he was Governor of Massachusetts.
Has anyone heard anything out of Bachmann yet? Did she grab a high powered rifle, climb the watchtower and thin out the herd?
I think she's still at the bible-signing.
Yes, discussing Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ" movie. "Oh yes, the book was so much better."
She's holding a presser in a little while.
A "presser?" The bitch went back home to iron Marcus' shirts? About damned time!
And cancelled her trip to South Carolina.
I think she's still looking for the house that John Wayne grew up in.
She's wondering why god has abandoned her, after he told her to run and that she would win; someone needs to tell that woman that that voice is a symptom of schizophrenia, not god.
God called at least 4 of the morons in the GOP field according to their statements (Bachmann, Perry, Cain and Santorum all said it openly). Of course we all assume that Mitt and Jon's magic underwear buzzers went off telling them their future planets wanted them to practice being overlords, but they aren't admitting it, the damn cultists.
If I have a point, its that either God is a sick bastard, or being a GOP candidate is conclusive evidence of mental illness. Maybe both.
Oh, I'm waiting for her to go full Cassandra. And I'll settle for nothing less than an all-out shrieking, garment ripping, and hair-pulling meltdown.
I want her to say that God abandoned her and therefore there is no God.
Bobby Ewing came out of the shower and it was all a dream.
Is that a "before" and "after" photo for the new GOP diet?
No, fat fuck Christie ate Santorum, and that's how Mittens won.
Fat Fuck is a fat fucking fuck, alright.
In the event of consuming Santorum it is recommended that you induce vomiting and call a poison control center.
oh darn it. This is what happens when I take the time to read the article, stop to chuckle and ponder at things like "prickly schoolmarm" and stuffs.
This is why Romney makes the big money, because he can always trick ordinary folk into doing more for less. In comparison, Santorum is like an Indian grocer with 37 family members all working in the business, regardless of age. I know which vision of America I'm supporting.
Except the Indian grocer offers myriad unfamiliar and interesting items. Santorum only offers … santorum.
Santorum Chutney
Is that a Macy's Thanksgiving float on the right? Pretty cool. Seems to still have a lot of air in it even after a month.
Can we be sure Gov. Christie (shown, above; yeah, hard to miss) didn't just gobble up those 47 that got 'disappeared', when someone left him unattended?
"This sandwich tastes so young and impudent"
That is probably fewer people than those stupid rubes who where working to get Palin to run in Iowa.
Wait, is this a picture of Mitt's Mormon Missionary companion, in some sort of happy reunion? Are they off to knock doors in New Hampshire?
They're sharing old "how we avoided the war stories."
I dunno…maybe it's better to have people go out preaching their religion in countries that allow freedom of expression, instead of bombing Cambodia all the time?
I dunno. Hard to picture Christie on a bicycle.
Chris Christie: stealth Mormon
In Romney's America, Romney will be the ONLY one with a job. USA! USA!
Not true. Mittens himself has said that he's unemployed.
I'm Mitt Romney, and I'm You. Well, You with about 6 billion more dollars and hair plugs, but still You.
If he wins, his job will be president. All other federal positions will be "voluntary", with "stipends" paid by SuperPACs and the Koch brothers.
Mitt Romney is people too, my friend.
It just shows you how impressed Iowans are with good hair.
Christie embraces fat jokes so it's ok to to tell them.
Not so much embraces as sits on them until they scream for mercy.
haha! Mittens and Crisco Christie look like one of them there Before & After photos from some magic weight loss scam artist.
Government doesn't create jobs, my friend. Since Mitt is the next president he can no longer create jobs either… How is this so difficult to understand?
Unless the president is black. Then, he can create jobs, but won't because he's lazy/evil/lazy and evil.
According to Gingrich, Romney also outsourced his negative campaining to a superPAC.
Romney and Christie – brought to you by the number 10.
Staffers leave, Romney wins… You can't ex-Bain it.
Tim Tebow has just stated that he's going to be the Michele Bachman of the NFL.
He's going to marry a gay man?
Should this surprise anyone? Firing people was his Romney's main gig back in the private sector too.
I'll bet he finds a way to blame it on Obama.
He prefers the term "creating new job openings."
If Mittens is the ultra CEO he tells everyone he is then he should do what most CEOs would do when they have his "amazing" success; spread this limited campaign worker program nationwide because it "worked" in Iowa.
Mittens 12: "Less is more."
Wherever Fat Fuck Chris Christie goes, the fast-food economy explodes! Sandwich-makers, its full employment for sandwich-makers, and helicopter pilots. And toadies, bootlickers, and fawning courtiers, too.
And don't forget all the cardiovascular jerbs making stents, and pacemakers, and all those CV drugs.
Asthma inhalers also, too. He was hospitalize for shortness of breath a few months ago. What a surprise.
And the manufacturers of buckets and whaffer-thin mints.
Texas Tribune:
Gov. Rick Perry will come home to pray and reflect and decide whether to continue his presidential quest after a fifth-place finish in the Iowa caucuses. "I decided to return to Texas to assess the results of tonight’s caucus, to determine whether there is a path forward for myself in this race," Perry said in an emotional speech late Tuesday night.
I felt a sudden disturbance in the Force… as though dozens of SNL writers suddenly cried out in anguish and were silenced.
You don't "… best Santorum…" with votes.
It takes a strong cleaner and a boat load of Handi-Wipes…
Gotta love the good people at Next Media Animation TV (the goofy Taiwanese computer animation news stories). Their title: "Santorum Nearly Squeezes Come From Behind Iowa Caucus Victory."
Mitt Romney laying off 47 people to win? That's a republicunt check-mate.
OT, way to go Hopey, finally, recess appointment of Cordray. Your move Warren,,,, oh wait
God, I fucking hate this dull, soulless, phony corporate puppet with all my existence. There, I said it. Now I can get on with my day…
Which one?
All of 'em, Soros.
They have only themselves to blame, really.
Headline of the day (Yahoo News):
"Rick Santorum's Nephew Comes Out"
It does take a lot of guts to be openly Ron Paul supportive. Everyone knows the rich, entitled young white man is the most oppressed minority in America.
FIT guy and his adorable pecs!!
Wonkette, are you doing a "good cop," (FIT guy), "bad cop," (Christie) thing?
Thats the same look I get when I order a footlong Subway meatball.
Stop me if you've heard this one: a Mormon, a Catholic, and a non-church-going Libertarian walk into an Iowa Sunday School class….
I forget the rest, but the punch line is Chris Christie eats them all. I'm so bad at telling jokes…
Just a couple of lackeys for the real wealth. The problem with them is they don't see how quickly they would be dropped from the payroll if they don't do as they're told.
Well duh! He had no choice to lay those people off because NOBAMER is trying to tax him even more on his own personal income so he just CAN'T create jobs. Don't you see?
He probably thought he was addressing a Bain Capital board meeting.
Terrific. Now watch as the media tries to mainstream Rick Santorum.
Romney better make sure that platform of his is strong enough before he lets Christie on it.
Romney is out of the loop again. Just because he couldn't find 47 employees doesn't mean they didn't exist. Christie ate them.
Too much one-man inverted stimulus leaves you needing to shave your palms. Careful, Mittens.
He didn't lay off anybody………………Christie ate them!
I think he meant they only have five American workers.
He outsourced the rest to Taiwan, because cartoons work for almost nothing there..
Is that Mittens with the late Big Pussy Bonpensiero in that picture? Is Mittens going to give Big Pussy his own planet in the afterlife? And how much is the vig on that?
It's actually Bobby Baccala
Now tell me they don't look alike.
Willard is just a walkin' talkin' job-destroying machine!
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