Just one more day 'til PayDay!Giant toddler Newt Gingrich is in full crybaby force today, effectively doing a number on himself while attempting to do a number on vague front-runner Mitt Romney. On the CBS Early Show this morning, Gingrich sort of called Mitt Romney a LIAR. This followed some other not-nice-to-Mitt comments he made on last night’s Piers Morgan show on CNN. But it took CBS anchor Norah O’Donnell to spoon-feed the actual word “liar” into Gingrich’s mouth. And Newt Gingrich had no problem with that.

Discussing the super PAC ads that essentially dismantled Gingrich’s Iowa campaign (and perhaps national campaign … have patience), O’Donnell was basically trying to get Gingrich to repeat his claim that Romney is a duplicitous (triplicitous?) scoundrel. The exchange went as follows:

O’Donnell: You scolded Mitt Romney, his friends who are running this Super PAC that has funded that, and you said of Mitt Romney, ‘Someone who will lie to you to get to be president will lie to you when they are president.’ I have to ask you, are you calling Mitt Romney a liar?
Gingrich:: Yes.
O’Donnell: You’re calling Romney a liar?
Gingrich: Well, you seem shocked by it. This is a man whose staff created the PAC, his millionaire friends fund the PAC, he pretends he has nothing to do with the PAC – it’s baloney. He’s not telling the American people the truth.

Um, Newt. Just because you don’t have your own super PAC (to our knowledge) doesn’t mean you can attack a super PAC as some extraordinarily evil thing! But the real problem is not the bait-y “liar” comment but the fact that he is essentially faulting Romney for running a political campaign. He goes on to say:

I just think he ought to be honest with the American people and try to win as the real Mitt Romney, not try to invent a poll-driven, consultant-guided version that goes around with talking points, and I think he ought to be candid. I don’t think he’s being candid and that will be a major issue.

Is not “poll-driven” and “consultant-guided” the very definition of a political candidate? The nail in the coffin is Gingrich’s delusional belief that there is a “real” Romney. All told, Newt is starting to sound more like an election-night CNN pundit than a candidate, as he glumly rehearses for the role he intended to play all along, just more lucratively than ever before. [CBS via The Caucus]

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  • Barb

    I'm afraid that if Newt gets elected he will cheat on us with another country. Sure, he says he was in China and he will come back smelling like a clam house dumpster on the 4th of July.

  • slithytoves

    Which number? One or two? Either way, better on himself and Romney than the rest of us.

  • Radiotherapy

    Real politicians are all "pole-driven."

    • nounverb911

      Just ask Marcus and Lindsey.

    • hagajim

      Pole driven by Koch.

    • Baconzgood



      • rickmaci

        Damn. Takes one to know one, huh? Newty certainly knows all about being a pole driven politico.

  • memzilla

    "Newt is starting to sound more like an election-night CNN Faux News pundit than a candidate…"

    Fixed, LC.

    And welcome aboard ♪ ♫ the oldest established permanent floating ♪ ♫ etc.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      If we contribute a lousy little grand,
      Newt could be a millionaaaaire!

  • chascates

    And Calista knows who many diamonds this campaign has cost her.

    • nounverb911

      All of them, Katie?

  • Joshua Norton

    Newt was for air power against Libya. Then, when Obama announced that he was for it, Gingrich promptly came out against it. Both of these utterances were on television news shows, so we have a wonderful tape loop for anyone thinking that Gingrich might be the answer to our problems.

    • Streiffert

      Obama's campaign strategy for the general election should be:

      Republican Candidate (yeah I know it will be Romney): "We should lower taxes on the job creators"
      Obama: "That's a really good idea…"
      Republican Candidate: "Lowering taxes on the job creators is socialism!"

      Republican Candidate: "Abortion should be a a crime!"
      Obama: "That's a really good idea…"
      Republican Candidate "Banning abortion is socialism!"

      And on and on until October when the Obama campaign starts its "Romney (yeah, it will be Romney) is a flip flopper" campaign.

  • nounverb911

    "Are you calling him a liar?
    Gingrich:: Yes.
    O’Donnell: You’re calling Romney a liar?"

    Finally, truth in campaigning.

    • GOPCrusher

      Sadly, if Romney wins the nomination, Gingrich will deny that this conversation took place, and his defenders will claim that the entire interview was taken out of context by the vast Left-Wing Conspiracy.

  • hagajim

    Welcome to the post Citizens United world dipshit! Now ya know, he who has the most $$$$ wins! American democracy, bought and paid for by Kochs! I'm sure when li'l Johnny Roberts and the boys decided to sell 'Merika to the highest bidder they weren't thinking about all the Koching of one another that would happen in the primaries.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    GO LIZ, GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Goonemeritus

    And letting the American public see the real Newt is working out well?

  • Come here a minute

    I thought Santorum was the one with the "doing a number two on himself" joke.

  • hagajim

    The "real" Romney is the one his handlers tell him to be at any given time.

  • Callyson

    "Here's a Massachusetts moderate who has tax-paid abortions in 'Romneycare'"
    Wow, Mittens has abortions? So much for the magic underwear…

  • tihond

    Gingrich then went on accuse Romney of being too much of a Homo Sapien to be the Republican nominee.

    • MissTaken

      Today we are all Homo Sapiens.

      • SorosBot

        Not me, or Mittens – we're both robots.

    • THAT is definitely true. The second part, anyway. I'm not sure Romney qualifies as anything but a Homobot.

  • johnnymeatworth

    If Newt loses Iowa, Tiffany's might cut off his credit line! THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!

    • memzilla

      Are you saying Newt hasn't earned his whore diamonds?

      • johnnymeatworth

        Not at all, just that he needs to KEEP earning. Whores don't get Christmas, or for that matter the Iowa Caucus, off.

    • DahBoner

      Tiffany's might cut off his credit line?

      If Tiffany's cuts off his credit line, Wife #3 ain't puttin' out no more…

  • It's always fun to see bullies cry like titty babies after someone bigger stuffs them in a locker.

    PS — The HEY ABBOTT pic never fails.

    • memzilla

      It's more fun to imagine Newt not just as Bud Abbot, but as the Warner Bros. cartoon character Babbit the Cat… especially when we get to Tweety Bird's "Uh oh… wan outta piddies."

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Newt, there's this thing called Karma. Look it up–you & Callista probably have quite a reckoning still to come.

  • Baconzgood

    A liar calling a liar a liar…..Isn't that like a double negitive or somthing?

  • chicken_thief

    I bet the real Mittens is the fucking Chuck Norris, – no the RONALD REAGAN of party animals. Charlie Sheen, sit down, shut up, and take notes from the master.

    • DahBoner

      Party animal!???

      Fuck, Sheen is an amateur when it comes to scoring coke!

      When Ronald Reagan wanted some coke, he had the god damn CIA fly in a whole plane load, complete with Costa Rican whores….

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Dude wrote a book about how the South won the Civil War and he's calling Romney a liar? Man.

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Hey Baldar,
      re: Cheering Liz……….I dunno, just feeling meta today I guess. It's like having our own caucus.
      Or not.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Ha! I think it's the first time one of the Wonkette staff has had a cheering section! Of course, I've only been here a year or so…

        • LesBontemps

          Well, Sara Benincasa had a following during her time here, but first day out and Liz is in for a hat trick already.

  • Baconzgood

    "'Cause I'm The Mitt Romney, yes I'm the real Mitt Romney
    All you other Mitt Romney's are just imitating
    So won't the real Mitt Romney please stand up,
    please stand up, please stand up?"


    • Swampgas_Man

      Mitt and Mutt?

  • If you have lost Iowa, you have lost America.

    • LesBontemps

      Is there some way they could all lose? Because then that would be encouraging.

      • GOPCrusher

        Probably why they don't have a "None Of The Above" option on the ballot.

    • Obvy, people need to check their sofa cushions better.

      Have we grown so careless as a nation that we can so casually discuss … wut?

      Oh. Never mind.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You would think that Newt would be in favor of Romney, given the whole multiple-wives thing.

    • Mormons tend to collect them, rather than go through them like a sailor with five hundred dollars and a bottle of whiskey.

    • Professional jealousy.

  • SorosBot

    How can Mittens run as "the real Mitt Romney" when such a creature does not exist, though?

    • Baconzgood


    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Surely there is some core programing deep inside the Mittbot that keeps it functioning should there be a system error.

      • SorosBot

        I think the Mittbot's core command is just "pander".

        • terriblyfamous

          1. A Mittbot may not fail to pander by inaction.
          2. A Mittbot must obey the directives given by his handlers, except where such directives conflict with the First Law.
          3. A Mittbot must protect its own campaign's existence, except where such protection conflicts with the First of Second Laws.

  • UnholyMoses

    "… he ought to be honest with the American people and try to win as the real Mitt Romney

    You mean the real Mitt Romney who, while gov. of Mass., instituted the EXACT SAME health care plan as the Affordable Care Act he now trashes as soshulizms?

    The real Mittens who strapped a dog kennel to the roof of the family truckster when going on vacation … with the dog still inside it and so scared it shit all over the car?

    Or the real one who dumped his second wife when she was recovering from cancer because he was banging a Congressional aide, all while simultaneously asking for Clinton to resign due to adultery?

    Oh, wait — forget that last one. But the other two are still valid, and can be summed up as: WHICH MITTENS IS THE REAL ONE? Because no one seems to have the foggiest idea.

    Including Mitt.

  • Baconzgood

    He's a liar….But is he the "pant's on fire" variety Newt?

    • Chichikovovich

      Of course not! You have to say something completely out there, like "The Ryan plan, though it retains the name "Medicare", actually destroys everything that people value about the program" to get that label.

    • bikerlaureate

      It's amazing (though it really shouldn't be, by now) that the Salamander can utter "I don’t think he’s being candid" without his head exploding from the incongruity.

  • elviouslyqueer

    In related news, the pot insisted that the kettle was indeed black.

  • edgydrifter

    Gingrich will never be able to force the "real" Romney out from behind the curtain, because Romney is the curtain.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Apparently today's GOP has room for only one poll-driven, corporate cronyist, big-money-loving, information-averse, above-the-fray establishment weathervane at a time. And Newt's too damn important to be left to fight it out amongst the conservative crazies or that nobody Huntsman, and just too damn principled to call that cheap lying slut Mitt Romney what he really is — oh, wait.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I saw an interview with Newt yesterday where he spent half of the time accusing Mittens of hating Regan, being more liberal than Ted Kennedy, and trying to make Massachusetts into a Socialist Nirvana.

    All of which is true. Which makes you wonder why the other candidates have not been beating up on Romney and instead wasting time with Ron Paul and Newt. Has Romney promised them all jobs in his administration? Or are they all at a lost at how someone who has governed to the left of Obama is leading in the GOP contest (If getting the same 25% you got four years ago as a loser now counts as a win).

    • Baconzgood

      They know a morman won't carry the Jebus Emerica so why bother.

    • LesBontemps

      What will be hilarious is how Mitt will keep getting that rock-solid "front-runner" 25% even as the field shrinks down from 9 to 7 to 4 to 3 to 2.

    • I'm amazed that nobody has pointed out that Mittens is not getting the kind of big establishment $$ he got in the last round. The media ran ONE story about how Obama pulled in more $$ in the first quarter than all the Republican candidates combined, and it came mostly from individual donors, which sorta gives me hope for the American people. But why aren't the media telling us how little support these dolts actually have, and how MUCH the President seems to have by contrast?

  • nounverb911

    Isn't one of those "Mitts" actually a "Newt"?

    • UnholyMoses

      He got better … *

      (* Obligatory Monty Python quote)

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    What an annoying man. He reminds me of someone gets into the 15 items or less line in a grocery store with a full cart… only worse.

    • And crushes an 85-year-old woman to get there.

      • jus_wonderin

        On his forehead.

      • Terry

        …while delivering a crushingly boring and factually inaccurate lecture.

      • DahBoner

        And he tries to return a single piece of fruit.

        With an expired coupon….

    • Streiffert

      He's an express-hole?

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      What is this thing you call a "full cart"?

      • Chichikovovich

        Y'know. It's what you get when they have a half price sale on the 10-kilo sacks of puffed wheat at Bargain Warehouse Supermarket and Animal Mortuary, so you buy five of them. That's good eatin', with some water and powdered milk, if you add a couple packets of the good sugar you can snatch from Starbucks.

    • And Pays for it with pennies.

    • GOPCrusher

      And stands there going through his box of coupons.

  • Ducksworthy

    Introducing once and future Mormon King Mitt Romney. Brought to you by Citizens United and the Wall Street bankers.

  • Antispandex

    "Um, Newt. Just because you don’t have your own super PAC (to our knowledge) doesn’t mean you can attack a super PAC as some extraordinarily evil thing! "

    IF that were what the Newt was doing, then he would not be a "liar". "Hypocrite". is still up in the air though. We have lots of time left, before the Meso-American terrorist inspired end of the world, to see if he can pull off the Exacta.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Super-PAC's are people too, y'know!

  • People who have Million Dollar Interest Free Credit lines from Tiffany's shouldn't throw whore diamond accusations.

  • Gingrich is running what he calls a "Zen campaign."

    Q: What is the sound of one asshole farting?

    A: Newt Gingrich

    See? Zen.

    • Tundra Grifter

      As in "zen Ole Newt's campaign went down in flames."

      • LesBontemps


        • Tundra Grifter

          Part DUHH !

    • DahBoner

      Dat was Zen.

      Dis is Tao

  • Liz, the alt text for the photo ought to be "HEY, ABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"

    • Tundra Grifter


      I'd say Ole Newt has eaten far too many Paydays. And Snickers. And Mars Bars. Heck, he looks like he's eaten the Three Musketeers.

      Or was that Gov. Perry?

    • OneYieldRegular

      If this were a caption contest, you'd win hands-down.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Given this degree of shrewdness about the modern political process, it's difficult to believe that this guy's campaign staff failed the basic competency test of getting their candidate on the Virginia primary ballot.

    • Rotundo_

      Yeah, but one has to remember that Newt! is an idea guy. He just doesn't pend his time on trivial matters like actually appearing on the ballot: He's already measured for the drapes and named half of his cabinet, how the hell could he be bothered with making sure that he has people to make sure that he's on the ballot. He's about the thirty thousand foot view, not checking the fuel supply on the plane or whether it has tires on it. He is a vision guy.

  • Ugh, Newt.
    In terms of scruples that you fancy yourself possessing: you're a hypocrite.
    In parlance of your romanticized aulde English figures-o'-speech: it's the pot calling the kettle black.
    In the words of another contender who somehow received credentials despite a D-grading: you don't have to have sat in a pew putrid blowhard's presence to know something's wrong with this baseless mudslinging.
    And for the love of practicing what you preach: do as the schoolmarms once reminded us and "go back and read it out loud to yourself again before you decide it's ready to hand in to me." Today's fourth-graders may continue to blow off these directives but at least they understand, unlike yourself, why they were given.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    Newt, you talking maggot, this is what you get for letting a woman with an extruded face and injection-molded hair run your campaign. Oh, and Tiffany's called. They don't want you or your peroxided harpy back any time this millennium.

  • Tundra Grifter

    You'd think an "historian" like Ole Newt would know that American campaigns can be rough and tumble.

    He wanted to push the "be nice" meme because he didn't have the funds to run attack ads. The other candidates smelled blood in the water and took advantage of his weakness.

    Sen. John McCain said it best – "It's Presidential politics – it's not beanbag."

  • LesBontemps

    Hahaha. It's a bitch when Citizens United comes around to bite Republicans in the ass. Careful what you wish for, kids!

  • Mitt's going to buy his way into office whether anyone likes him or not….

    • Fare la Volpe

      The technical term is "Pulling a Bloomberg."

  • Remember when Reagan called Carter "insane"? Fun times…

  • owhatever

    I keep trying to see the top of Calista's head, trying to figure out what Newt's viewpoint.

  • Hera Sent Me

    Every time I look at Newt Gingrich I think, "Man, I didn't know hypocrisy is fattening".

  • prommie

    Newtie-Newt's mommie told him that he is the most special-est boy ever, and he considers it an insult to her memory when he is not treated as such.

  • mavenmaven

    Hey, knock "talking points" and you've alienated the entire republican base, who can't have any thoughts of their own other than those rammed into their empty little heads by fox news, rush, or beck…

    • DahBoner

      The ironic thing is that if any Republican reads this, they will have to go back to fox news, rush, or beck to get their talking point to know how to respond…

  • prommie

    In today's GOP, to be a viable candidate, you either have to be batshit insane, in which case you are attacked for being batshit insane, or you have to pretend to be insane, in which case you are attacked for being a fraud. You just can't win!

    • Geminisunmars

      Let's just hope that they get used to losing.

      • Don't count on it. The Paultards are panicking about the election being STOWLEN from Doctor Paul. Hysteria is spreading on teh InnerNetz.

    • LesBontemps

      From your keyboard to the Goddess's ear.

  • MissTaken

    Poor Newt, he just wants to run a clean campaign and let the American voters decide based on the candidates merits and not on corporate influence. It's sad really.

    HAHA sorry, I just did the Filbert Steps and the post-holiday calorie purge has obviously gone to my head. Newt, you are a fat, lying, hypocritical fattie. Carry on!

  • Streiffert

    "Someone who will lie to you…"

    Yep. Just ask the first Mrs. Gingrich. Or the second. Or the third. Even though, technically, the third Mrs. Gingrich was one of the liars and not the lie-ees.

    • DahBoner

      "third Mrs. Gingrich was one of the liars"

      That's why she had her eyelids permanently opened, so she could always keep both eyes on Newtie…'

  • Baconzgood

    He was spoon fed word liar like his 1st wife was spoon fed on her cancer bed while he handed her the divorce papers.

  • DemonicRage

    Didn't one Wonkette poster refer to the Bush-Romney era earlier today? The Election is over. People are tired of Hopey. Get ready to start getting treated like that dog in a little plastic box strapped on top of a car. Yes. Romney, the Strap-On President. It's coming.

    • Rotundo_

      I really hope you're wrong on that one. Unfortunately I think we all will be strapped to the tops of the vista cruisers blasting diarrhea out the back. At least in the figurative sense, if not the literal sense.

    • Don't count on it. Going into Iowa, Romney remains steady while all the other Not-Mitts recede, leaving Santorum standing.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    The real Romney is in a cryogenic freezer in a bunker somewhere in Utah.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Fine, Newt. So when you beat Barry in the general election, will you sic the Justice Department on Americans for Prosperity?

    I mean, you goddamn better — if lies are what you consider important.

  • LiveToServeYa

    Next, he'll be complaining that Mittens forced him to sit at the back of the airplane and leave by the rear exit. It's funny: the closer you look at Newt Gingrich the more he looks like, well, Newt Gingrich.

  • Chichikovovich

    Newt! Rookie mistake! Now that you've said that what Mitt says isn't true, Mitt just has to say "What Newt just said is true." So, what you said is true, but that means that what he said isn't true, so what you said isn't true, so….And then you, like, explode or something. I haven't quite figured out what is supposed to happen, but I'm sure it's real bad.

    • Sounds like a ST episode (the orig, natch) where Lt. Uhura gets to run around showing a LOT of her lovely gams.

      • Chichikovovich

        I'm not sure that Uhura running around showing her legs counts as “real bad”.—

  • Geminisunmars

    Can we call you Liz, Liz?

    • chascates

      Liz Glover libel!

  • finallyhappy

    wow, Iowa – something going on today? Hmmm, I'm going to the movies tonight it is $2 candy night at Regal theaters- now that is something!

    • jus_wonderin

      I once met a girl named Candy at the Regal Theaters. Wow, 2 bucks is a deal!

  • MissTaken

    Hypocrisy, it's what's for dinner.

  • BarackMyWorld
  • Troglodeity

    "He's a no-good, god-damned, liar: a poll-driven coward who doesn't tell the American people the truth. But hey, I'll still support him if he's the Republican nominee."

    I guess for Newt, "for better and for worse" only applies to political bedfellows, not marital ones.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Just noticed that Liz made a Trane reference.
    How fucking cool is that!!

  • DahBoner

    "I just think he ought to be honest with the American people…"

    Wait a minute!

    Is this the same guy who was getting blowjobs from an intern, so he could claim he wasn't having sex with her, all the while whining on and on about how the president should be impeached because he shamed the country by getting a blowjob from an intern???

  • chascates

    PAUL 31% ROMNEY 24% SANTORUM 17%

  • chascates

    We may be in for a long night. The way the Iowa Caucuses work is:
    Only registered Republicans may vote but they can register at the caucuses with photo ID. The 1,774 precincts meet in public buildings, schools, or orderly well-kept homes. This year paper ballots will be used in case of computer malfunctions, which could only happen if a Democrat was on the ballot.

    Before the vote itself, state party rules allow each campaign one “surrogate or volunteer” who may speak on behalf of the candidate for a few minutes before balloting begins.

    Republican caucusgoers each cast a single ballot for their preferred presidential candidate. At the close of balloting, a caucus official phones the tallies in to the state party. Results recorded report the percentage of ballots won by each candidate.

    An Iowa Democratic caucus, on the other hand, involves a ‘viability threshold’ where a supporter must select another candidate unless their preferred candidate has at least 15% of the caucusgoers support. In which case those 15% join arms and do a line dance around the remaining people. Once a democratic candidate has more than 50% support this is recognized by that percentage of those present doing the ‘Iowa Corn Borer Mating Dance’ which resembles the 1960s-era dance ‘The Watusi’ with both less grace and black people.

    The Democratic caucus is tonight but with President Obama seeking re-election little drama is expected, other than wailing and gnashing of teeth.

  • Guppy

    "he pretends he has nothing to do with the PAC – it’s baloney."

    Why, yes, that's exactly how a PAC works. They're not allowed to coordinate with a candidate's campaign, or vice versa.

    You'd think that a former elected lawmaker would know something about election law…

  • Rotundo_

    The only thing that will be really determined is just how much self inflicted damage these idiots will do before rallying around the flag and Mittens. It will be fun to see what happens in South Carolina, since if the yahoos are going to ditch Mittens it will start there.

  • DaRooster

    It's like a spade calling a spade a spade… you know.

  • ttommyunger

    Well, if anyone knows anything about lying, it has to be the Newtster. Take it from the Master, Norah.

    • WinterOuthouse

      Atlanta is responsible for this freak show Tommy. Why has Atlanta forsaken us?

      • ttommyunger

        Got to fill that air space with something, I guess.

  • WinterOuthouse

    Whiny little titty baby.

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