endangered species

Jon Huntsman Donating To Himself For a Few Days

GOP primary voters don't like complicated math.

Republican fringe-moderate candidate Jon Huntsman sent out an e-mail to supporters the other day announcing that he would match any donations received until midnight on January 4, that being the first day of the rest our lives following tonight’s roll in the Iowa hay. While perfectly legal — there’s no limit to the amount of capital gains a bajillionaire can sink into his or her (her!!) political campaign — it doesn’t feel or sound or smell legal. “I am adding a wrinkle,” Huntsman wrote. A wrinkle?

The “wrinkle” is that the money would specifically go to the cost of airing a TV ad in New Hampshire. (The TV ad actually already exists in cheapo web form.) Huntsman also noted a surge in campaign contributions in the week or so around New Year’s, so as the Chicago Sun-Times politely observed, this is just (“just”) a way for Huntsman to “leverage his cash.” In other words, it’s less crass than having to admit in a few days or weeks that he had to funnel in a few million (more) to his campaign, just because.

Stiiiiill, this comes off as sounding a lot like those endangered species e-mail blasts that environmental groups send around: board member so-and-so will match your donation if you would just toss a few coins into the breeding campaign of the greater sage-grouse! The problem is, cerebral, anti-theatrical nice guy Huntsman is not nearly as cute as the least cute animal on the planet. Endangered? Yes. But look at what’s happened to the wild speckled Santorum in the past 72 hours. [Chicago Sun Times]

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

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    1. JustPixelz

      President Bachmann will wipe Iran off the map. The sterile land will be called Bachmannia in honor of her. We'll have no pistachio nuts, but we'll still have her.

  1. memzilla

    …[Huntsman] would match any donations received until midnight on January 4,"

    If I send him a bill, will he subtract that same amount of money from his campaign?

    1. DustBowlBlues

      This is such a common gimmick, the "matching funds." The DLCC, DNC, the DSCC and–wait–not the ODP. Oklahoma's party has no rich people.

      Anyway, sending them a bill so they subtract this much made me laugh. Thanks.

  2. Radiotherapy

    It's almost as good a business model as Trump, et. al.'s bankrupt 'em and buy 'em back at pennies on the dollar.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      OMG, Sarah Palin called it:

      Um, I think Huntsman should drop out because he didn’t even give it the old college try in Iowa, and I think that’s offensive to the entire GOP, and to the entire uh field in America where you know the the kind of the heart and soul of America there being represented in Iowa, and Huntsman doesn’t even want to give it the effort that I think most of us would have liked to have seen. So, I think Huntsman who, what, I think he’s pollin’ only 1, or 2, or 3, or whatever the single digits are today, perhaps he’ll be dropping out unless he wants to spend his own money and perhaps even go into debt to run for President. Yeah, Eric, I do think that we’ll see, perhaps, Huntsman uh, drop out.

  3. ManchuCandidate

    Of all the candidates, Huntsman would be the one who would leading and give Barry the hardest time in an election if not for his:
    1) Intelligence
    2) Talking the Ching Chong (aka Mandarin.)
    3) Being not a REAL Xtian
    4) Sanity
    5) being US America Ambassador to China thanks to the Kenyan

    1. lizcolville

      Thank you. That was the nickname given to me by my college cross-country team, so I'm thrilled.

    1. FlyOverGirl

      2012 GOP Primary = “And there ain't no party like a Liz Lemon party 'cause a Liz Lemon party is mandatory!”

  4. memzilla

    Huntsman also noted a surge in campaign contributions…

    Sorry, Jon, there's only one candidate that have the "S word" used about his campaign.

  5. BlueStateLibel

    Do I at least get a lousy tote bag or umbrella, or Ken Burns entire Civil War series for just $495?

    Also: there's nothing that stirs the soul like zillionaires begging for money.

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    I donated to my inebriation campaign over the last couple of weeks; I just hope they don't conduct a drug screening here at work for another week or two…

  7. JustPixelz

    LIZ COLVILLE! Welcome to the wonkette's world wide web of snark and satirical and sartorial … um, what was I saying? Oh yeah, pay no attention to Chuck Norris — a million too many hits to the head, if you know what I mean.

    1. user-of-owls

      I personally hate sage grouses of all sorts. Too many feathers, not enough meat. Always clogging up the ol' cloaca, if you know what I mean.

  8. Dashboard Buddha

    So, this is a kind of donation auto-eroticism? He'll stimulate himself by giving to himself. Sounds kinky. How long will it be before we find a dead body tangled in a masturbation harness in the closet?

  9. SorosBot

    Now I donate to myself fairly often, but don't normally talk about it in public like Huntsman here; and I thought the Mormon church was against donating to yourself (even though everyone does it).

    1. Dashboard Buddha

      I understand that instead of making your palms hairy, it makes them green. Also, you can go power-mad.

  10. MrFizzy

    Cuntsman's soon going to be adding the wrinkle of shutting down his campaign permanently. I think I may send him some money while there's still time.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Dude on the back of the ATV (?) obviously knows what's going to happen next with this video. Plus, Joe Walsh (the guitarist not the obnoxious congressman) behind the wheel there really needs to upgrade.

  11. Mahousu

    “I am adding a wrinkle,” Huntsman wrote.
    Listening to the other Republican candidates will do that to you.

  12. KeepFnThatChicken

    "Leverage his cash" is another way to say "have someone masturbate him through his magic underwear".

  13. Callyson

    I read that as "Jon Huntsman Donating Himself For a Few Days," and thought of how much Rick Perry and Marcus Bachmann will appreciate Jon's services…

  14. user-of-owls

    Huntsman also noted a surge in campaign contributions in the week or so around New Year’s

    So his 'wrinkle' is that he'll be relying on the new Drunk Dialers Superpac?

  15. An_Outhouse

    I'll rub out a 'donation' for Huntsman when I get home. He can match it or not. I don't want to know.

  16. Nostrildamus

    Browsing Wonkette for first time in weeks, perusing low-comment threads, I find this one – small, sad, no one paying attention – just like Huntsman's campaign.

Comments are closed.