JUST SHUT UP FOREVER  8:23 pm January 2, 2012

Rick Santorum Dials Up Racism In Final Push For Iowa’s Bigot Vote

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

He will be reborn as an enslaved circus bear in New Delhi in his next life.

Iowa GOP caucus-goers may already know tragic loser Rick Santorum as a viciously anti-gay, anti-lady-rights sad sack of defective dildos, but do they know where he stands on that third portion that makes up the all-important trifecta of Republican qualifications for presidential nominee, racism? Do not WORRY, bitter white idiots (but still FEAR, always fear), our frothy fiend has sensed your concern and has this to say about welfare in response: “I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them other people’s money.” Good to know! More money for all the poor white people who make up the majority of welfare recipients then, we guess?

Come on, it’s just concern on Rick Santorum’s part after all — he just wants black people to be able to go to their designated black people jobs, in factories.

From RawStory:

After suggesting that an expansion of Medicare is really just a plot to make voters more “dependent” on Washington, Santorum added: ”I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them other people’s money.”

“I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn their money and provide for themselves and their families,” he added. “The best way to do that is to get the manufacturing sector of the economy rolling.”

Wow.

Anyway, ON THE LIGHTER SIDE, the manager at one branch of a Christian conservative-owned pizza chain in Iowa has now dubiously titled one of its menu items “Santorum salad” under the hilarious premise that this would make a human more inclined to eat such a thing (seriously, does Iowa not have Google?), which is somehow made even more awful/tragic/creepy because one of the pizza chain’s evangelical nutjob founders spent time in prison for molesting his teenaged male employees, for Family Values. [RawStory/ TPM]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 282 comments }

CapnFatback January 2, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Yummy! Santorum word salad!

Beowoof January 2, 2012 at 11:45 pm

The words yummy and Santourm never belong in the same sentence.

Negropolis January 3, 2012 at 12:54 am

If only.

starfanglednut January 3, 2012 at 9:54 am

I knew there was a reason I never eat balsamic vinaigrette.

nounverb911 January 2, 2012 at 8:27 pm

"he just wants black people to be able to go to their designated black people jobs, in factories."
Santorum wants to relocate all the blacks to China?

Sue4466 January 2, 2012 at 8:56 pm

China or Kenya.

SayItWithWookies January 3, 2012 at 1:21 am

If Santorum is elected president, he'll have it introduced in Congress as the Send Them Back Where They Came From Act of 2012.

rhubarbpie2 January 3, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Just like Lincoln, who wanted to export all former slaves to other lands. See how consistent the Republicans are!

Barb January 2, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Santorum salad isn't so bad if you don't mind the ice cold diarrhea it will give you.

Rotundo_ January 2, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Golly, that sounds almost, but not quite as unpleasant as spending time with Rick. Ice cold diarrhea would at least end at some point, where the experience of spending time with Rick would probably linger for considerably longer, even with counseling and medications.

Mojopo January 3, 2012 at 2:38 am

Oh Barb. Three words that made me laff-weep.

bumfug January 2, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Rick explained, "Well sure – once the manufacturing sector is rolling, black folk can work cleaning the homes of the white people who finally got their jobs back!"

RavenRant January 2, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Damn, you're good. Nice summary.

And the black children can scrub out the white kids' toilets at school vocational training.

Racial Transcendence FTW!

Nostrildamus January 3, 2012 at 1:34 pm

It's Santorum trickle-down.

nounverb911 January 2, 2012 at 8:30 pm

I see from the photo that Rick's daughter still has her stuffed Gabriel doll.

tessiee January 2, 2012 at 9:44 pm

*ominous music*
That's not a doll.

Nothingisamiss January 3, 2012 at 7:46 am

+++++++++++

Harry_S_Truman January 2, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Only black people are poor, eh, Ricky?

Guppy January 2, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Nah, it's just that poor blacks are less likely to be distracted by God, guns and gays than their white counterparts.

Slim_Pickins January 2, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Only poor blacks are undeserving, the white poors are called the "Republican Base," that is the people that you can fool all the time.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Iowa's 91% white, say the media, as if that explains everything.

Chet Kincaid January 3, 2012 at 10:06 am

Yes, the negroes will never hear about it!

Gawd, I'm so sick of Iowa, and having to pay attention to their well-fed fundie asses every 4 years, like bobsledding or rhythmic gymnastics.

valgal2342 January 2, 2012 at 8:31 pm

It's not the salad that gets you, it's the creamy dressing.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Blargh, I say, BLARGH, I R DED.

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 3, 2012 at 12:11 am

Ohhh, are those raisins or currants?

Dogless_Heathen January 3, 2012 at 12:39 am

Crunchy Iowa corn bits.

smokefillednewyear January 3, 2012 at 3:21 am

Side of 'molesties'.

CapnFatback January 2, 2012 at 8:31 pm

LET'S PLAY UNDERLINE THE HIDDEN POLITICAL MESSAGE:

”I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them other people’s money.”

Ooooh, an easy one.

Fukui_SanYesOta January 2, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Lee Atwater is taking a break from burning in hell to crash his yoghurt truck over the direction the Republican party is taking.

CapnFatback January 2, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Much easier than Michele Bachmann’s, anyway: “I have had many celebrities on my campaign bus, the Dream Arc US, like Spuds McKenzie.”

Sparky_McGruff January 2, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Even shorter:

”I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them other people’s money.”

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Yeah, that sounds more like it.

OneDollarJuana January 2, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Even shorter, considering that most of the right-wing protestations are filmy covers for their true desires:

"I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them other people’s money.”

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 10:19 pm

So you think the root of all this Republican hysteria is, they're all lusting for Barack's foot-long Taste o'Heaven?

I could buy that.

RavenRant January 2, 2012 at 11:29 pm

No problem, though, with making reckless, incompetent white bankers' lives better with other people's money.

And let's not get started on the white war profiteers that suck down taxpayer dollars while actively harming our troops. Or, as Santorum would call them, "job creators". (Undertakers need jobs, too.)

arihaya January 2, 2012 at 8:32 pm

from The New Yorker, result from Iowa that journalists are rooting for:

"Rick Santorum wins Iowa and much of the English-speaking world Googles his name"

Callyson January 2, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Tonight, we are all journalists…

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Who's betting that Dan Savage wins new fame and fortune shortly?

Limeylizzie January 2, 2012 at 8:32 pm

The salad is not bad but for God's sake hold the dressing.

Barrelhse January 2, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Yeah, it's served in a tied-off condom.

flamingpdog January 2, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Hold the undressing, too.

Limeylizzie January 2, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Natch

Negropolis January 3, 2012 at 1:01 am

Oh, Lizzie. This deserves so much more p-ness.

Limeylizzie January 3, 2012 at 1:05 am

That's what Rick said, as well.

Tundra Grifter January 3, 2012 at 9:19 am

We keep our refrigerator door shut at all times because the mayonnaise is dressing.

Pat_Pending January 3, 2012 at 11:25 am

Salad cream?

ProgressiveInga January 2, 2012 at 8:32 pm

It costs just a little extra to have your Santorum Salad tossed.

bumfug January 2, 2012 at 8:42 pm

"That's the frothiest oil and vinegar I've ever seen!"

HempDogbane January 2, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I have an occasional lunch meeting at Pizza Ranch, and a few weeks ago the buffet had an outstanding mixed greens salad – goat cheese, pecans, it was awesome. And it was beautifully tossed by the dedicated kitchen staff. Nevertheless, I think I'll just call in to meetings from now on.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Be sure to tell 'em to Google Santorum, and that that's why you won't eat there.

Ew!

Steverino247 January 2, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Twenty bucks, same as downtown.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I just want you to know that four little kittehs now hate you with a bitter, burning hate. I splorted them all out of bed, choked on the tea, and coughed so hard they thought (hoped?) I was dying.

ProgressiveInga January 2, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Lo siento mucho.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Oh, it's not like they didn't *need* the exercise. They're all starting to look like sides of beef, or sides of beeves, or whatever the correct plural form is. Slabcats. They've been sleeping all damn day.

tessiee January 2, 2012 at 10:23 pm

My cats used to do that thing where they sit with all four paws and tail tucked in so that you couldn't see them at all. We used to call that "Catloaf".

BarackMyWorld January 2, 2012 at 8:33 pm

As president, will his agricultural policies help the cotton industry so there will be more jobs for pickers?

Barrelhse January 2, 2012 at 9:35 pm
flamingpdog January 2, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Santorum knows pickers.

arihaya January 2, 2012 at 8:34 pm

also lately I encounter what could be called the dirtiest (and most unhygienic) words in US politics: Santorum surge

dizzeeboy January 2, 2012 at 9:06 pm

My favorite is from a Philly Inquirer blog:

"Santorum Surges from Behind in Iowa"

bumfug January 2, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I predicted the use of the phrase "Santrum surging" by our media a few weeks ago in a joke but it's getting completely out of hand – I've seen "Newt Smears Santorum", "Perry Blasts Santorum" (apparently after a burrito feast / gay orgy} and I'm fully expecting "Santorum Causes Paul To Slip" by morning.

cheaphits January 3, 2012 at 12:27 am

I'm still hoping for Newt and Mitt lick Santorum.

ShaveTheWhales January 2, 2012 at 10:48 pm

"Unprecedented Fluidity"

Negropolis January 3, 2012 at 1:03 am

It shows that our criminally incompetent and bought-and-paid-for media at least still has a sense of humor, at times. That's about all that can be said for them, though. "Santorum surge" has become the standard when discussing his rise.

Now, admittedly, some of them may only be using the phrase because of its alliterative nature,. But, most of them are aware of the internet usage of the term.

arihaya January 2, 2012 at 8:38 pm

what was the pizza chain's name ?

Papa Jerry Sandusky's Pizza?

Fukui_SanYesOta January 2, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Pizza Prance

flamingpdog January 2, 2012 at 10:07 pm

BlowJoes Pizza, a square state favorite.

Negropolis January 3, 2012 at 1:06 am

Pedobear's Pizza Palace?

ManchuCandidate January 2, 2012 at 8:39 pm

You don't want to know what the "secret" cream dipping sauce is…

OneDollarJuana January 2, 2012 at 10:12 pm

"You want that pizza with stuffed crust?"

"Yeah, and extra meat, too."

finallyhappy January 2, 2012 at 8:42 pm

This guy is such a pustule and for that matter so is anyone who votes for him. Hey, Iowa- no one cares!

Biff January 2, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Yeah, srsly. Not like they've done a decent job at picking winners or anything.

Terry January 3, 2012 at 8:13 am

Santorum winning the Iowa primary would make Romney's head explode, or at least mess up his hair. The Paultards would go apoplectic, too. A Santorum victory would be worth it for the sheer entertainment value of it.

C_R_Eature January 2, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Well, someone's got to post a link to Santorum to keep the Google rankings up. Might as well be me.

I don't know about anyone else, but all this Santorum's making me nauseous and that salad's going to put me off food for a year. Especially if there's anything Frothy in it.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Speaking of which, don't forget to do frothy. Click early and often.

flamingpdog January 2, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Multiple upsquirts to you, sir or madam!

C_R_Eature January 2, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Danke. Now, I'm going to go find a Bucket.

antifauxnews January 3, 2012 at 6:29 am

seriously, why do they keep having to say that Santorum is surging, of all the things they could say?

C_R_Eature January 3, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Because, uhmm, they're all bored smartasses that can't wait to slip rude things into print, past their dour copy editors? Just a guess.

Rotundo_ January 2, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Just when I thought that Ricky couldn't sink much further, he does it again. This may play well with the base, but if, by some miraculous twist of fate, he does manage to overcome the mountain of money Mittens has and overturn the will of the money people of the GOP and win the nomination, this one will probably be the second thing people think about when they hear the name Santorum. Anal sex residue and racism are not presidential things Rick. GIVE UP YOU IDIOT!

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:35 am

No, but those are exactly the two things the Republican base thinks about!

Local_Mojo January 2, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Does this call for a Yelp bombing?

EatFrankRich January 3, 2012 at 5:19 pm

done, but I'm sure your rave reviews would help.

Donner, Party of 1 January 2, 2012 at 8:47 pm

The rectum is just a hot pocket, when ya think about it.

Salacious Crumb January 3, 2012 at 12:15 am

One of natures pockets.

gullywompr January 2, 2012 at 8:48 pm

What? You don't want Santorum to help black people by not giving them money?

Then you're a racist.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I just had that exact argument lobbed at me by some Paultrad on Raw Story.

not that Dewey January 2, 2012 at 10:50 pm

He then proceeded to explain that water is supposed to be green and catch fire spontaneously.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 11:00 pm

He said a bunch of stuff about how progressives want soshulism because they don't respect black people and are the reel racists and even Ebony magazine said so because 33.7% of welfare benefits go to nea … blacks even though 66% of the population is Hispanic.

This was in response to a question asking what, exactly, Rick Santorum had proposed by way of economic/fiscal solutions for our current problems and the lack of jerbs.

not that Dewey January 2, 2012 at 11:18 pm

I don't suppose the Paultards could spend any of that energy on an examination of their own attitudes.

gullywompr January 2, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Sounds like he neglected to recite the mantra "librulz love the poor, that's why they keep making more of them". It's the requisite capstone to any discussion of social programs. Deduct 5 points from his score.

tessiee January 2, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Not at all; I help black people all the time by not giving them money.
Of course, I help everybody else by not giving *them* money, either (mainly because I don't have any money), so there's that.

user-of-owls January 2, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Please tessiee, don't help me. Please??

Geminisunmars January 3, 2012 at 4:31 am

Damn, I'ma gonna have to stop not helping people and withhold any future donations.

Slim_Pickins January 2, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Wouldn't it be more appropriate to describe the 'Undecided" Iowa caucusers as the "hold your nose" faction?

Harry_S_Truman January 2, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Yeah, that Santorum stinks on ice.

Slim_Pickins January 2, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Santorum may be the only substance to stink at absolute zero!

OneDollarJuana January 2, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Santorum still jiggles at 0 deg. K because of Brownian Motion.

PalinzADummy January 3, 2012 at 1:25 am

Very Brownian motion.

imissopus January 2, 2012 at 8:51 pm

I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them other people’s money.

He's so honest and unafraid to tell it like it is. Forget Ron Paul. Santorum in 2012!

Harry_S_Truman January 2, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Well, toss my motherfuckin' salad.

flamingpdog January 2, 2012 at 10:11 pm

With 91 percent honkies in Iowa, there's not much chance there'll be folks asking where their motherfuckin' salad is.

Fukui_SanYesOta January 2, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Surely "The Santorum" should be a variety of sticky fudge dessert served with whipped cream?

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 10:25 pm

It is.

Oh … you meant … right.

user-of-owls January 2, 2012 at 10:50 pm

I'm not gonna try it—you try it!. Let's get Ota. He won't like it, he hates everything.

[slides bowl of Santorum to Ota]

He likes it! Hey Ota!

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:37 am

Hey, you must have a restaurant or something…why don't you introduce it! (Yes, hate me).

deanbooth January 3, 2012 at 8:34 am

I'm thinking Chocolate-chip egg drop soup.

Beetagger January 2, 2012 at 8:53 pm

God's swill.

BTWBFDIMHO January 3, 2012 at 12:31 am

Brillant.

Callyson January 2, 2012 at 8:56 pm

“I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn their money and provide for themselves and their families,” he added. “The best way to do that is to get the manufacturing sector of the economy rolling.”
To return to the reality – based community: back in 2005, Santorum voted no on repealing tax subsidy for companies which move US jobs offshore. Yeah, that'll get manufacturing rolling again…just not in the US…
Prick.

AlterNewt January 2, 2012 at 8:58 pm

I don't don't want to parse this too much, or ascribe motivations to him that I can't back up with facts; but I'd say that he is not going after the Black Vote.

FlyOverGirl January 2, 2012 at 9:00 pm

But will the Black Vote be going after him?

AlterNewt January 2, 2012 at 9:17 pm

I don't (just one this time) believe that I will attempt to speak for the Black Vote either.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I hope Black Voters with torches and pitchforks will.

Dashboard Buddha January 2, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Don't rule out the Crazy Black Vote.

Fukui_SanYesOta January 2, 2012 at 10:02 pm

HERMAN CAIN LABEL errr LIBEL

Fare la Volpe January 3, 2012 at 1:51 am

That's not a nice thing to say about Uncle Clarence.

C_R_Eature January 2, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Rick Santorum ( rik san – TOR – um) n.
1. The frothy mixture of Racism, Ideology and Evangelical Christianity
that was the byproduct of heterosexual sex 53 years ago.

MosesInvests January 2, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Uhhhh-that would be *Catholic* Christianity, in Ricky's case.

C_R_Eature January 2, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Well, shoot – Research Failure! I am humbled, but Thank you!

Dammed IntenseDebate won't let me edit the post, but I posted a correction.

Embarrassedly Yours, C.R.

C_R_Eature January 2, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Rick Santorum ( rik san – TOR – um) n.
1. The frothy mixture of Racism, Ideology and Evangelical Christianity Roman Catholicism that was the byproduct of heterosexual sex 53 years ago.

Fixed. w/a big thank you to "MosesInvests"

FlyOverGirl January 2, 2012 at 8:59 pm

I am just almost at a loss for words.

Santorum surge.
Santorum salad
Santorum salad made from chicken (shocking, I know)

It just doesn't get any better than this.

Guppy January 2, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Keep fuckin' that chicken!

KeepFnThatChicken January 3, 2012 at 9:28 am

Ew. Take that back.

Barrelhse January 2, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Choked Chicken, or Jerked?

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 9:49 pm

You *didn't!*

BarackMyWorld January 2, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Chicken…as in hens or cocks?

OneYieldRegular January 2, 2012 at 9:00 pm

In much of Europe, Rick Santorum would be in jail by now for spewing such vile racism. And if Bertrand Russell were alive today to re-write his essay, "Why I Am Not a Christian, " he might just as well begin and it with the words: "Rick Santorum."

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:07 am

Bertram Russell was a crazy mf, but BR ref FTW.

Arken January 2, 2012 at 9:00 pm

I don't mean to question his frothiness, but unless he means Medicaid, not Medicare, it's not other people's money, it's the money they paid into the system in the first place.

But then he wouldn't be able to complain about the uppity negroes I guess.

Redhead January 2, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Have facts had any part in the Republican debates/race yet?

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:07 am

Hitler?

An_Outhouse January 3, 2012 at 11:31 am

Besides Medicare is for the oldz not the blax.

John Birf Society January 2, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Marcus Bachman took a break from the campaign trail to order a footlong hotdog, a super-sized Santorum Salad (double tossed), and a Tab.

FlyOverGirl January 2, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Oooo, where has Marcus been? Michele's really kept him in the closet of late.

Rotundo_ January 2, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Methinks that as old as Marcus appears, he would have graduated to the two foot long, three inch diameter beef sticks they sell in WalMart, but perhaps he went for the footlong out of nostalgia purposes. I am sure however that he would request that the staff toss the hell out of his salad though. And Tab? Hunter perhaps?

Monsieur_Grumpe January 2, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Sounds fabulous!

Bonzos_Bed_Time January 3, 2012 at 12:21 am

Buying new seat covers for his Miata.

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:09 am

And srsly Tab! Only gay men and fading beauty pageant queens know where to get that shit! And which one is Marcus?

Dudleydidwrong January 2, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Ricky sounds desperate. I think that Ricky was born desperate. Calm down, little Ricky. Go to that Boone Pizza Palace and eat up a big dish of santorum-covered chickenshit salad. It'll calm your nerves for the flight back to Philly and history's dustbin.

Each one of these pseudo-candidates tries to outdo the others in sinking to the bottom of the septic system. Ricky has made it, that's for sure.

Jukesgrrl January 2, 2012 at 10:41 pm

No fair insulting Philadelphia by implying that's where he's from. Little Rickie's a product of the hills of Western Pennsylvania and his strongest support was always in the middle of the state, often referred to as Pennsyltucky. Since 2001 he has lived in Leesburg, Virginia, another place his sentiments might be embraced.

angerbear January 2, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Shorter Santorum: "Them darkies is shiftless, amirite?!?"

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 9:52 pm

'Cept he ain't so polite as to think "darkies."

Mort_Sinclair January 2, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Pretty clear from that Raw Story excerpt that one of two things is true: The folks at Raw Story don't know the difference between Medicare and Medicaid and cited the wrong program or Santorum doesn't know the difference between Medicare and Medicaid. Candidly, that one's a toss-up.

Mort_Sinclair January 2, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Oh, and every time I see that pic of that Santorum spawn pouting at that press conference, I get happy.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 9:35 pm

It's mostly about Newt, but Rick's in there at the end. So to speak.

youtube.com/watch?v=AQSsMR

Radiotherapy January 2, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Now I know why Tommie Smith and John Carlos wore gloves. Because that loosey-goosey sphincter of Santorum needs an ass-pounding. (One of my favorite athletic endeavors of all time, BTW. The infernally corrupt IOC, Romney anyone?, banned them from further competition, yet had no problem with you know who's '36 salute)

chascates January 2, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Speaking of that bizarre crazyfest in the midwest:
NBC News has responded to criticisms that correspondent Andrea Mitchell stereotyped the state of Iowa as "too white, too evangelical, too rural" to represent the U.S. electorate Monday, telling The Atlantic Wire she was merely citing critics who feel that way. Mitchell's quote in question came during a segment on Sunday's Nightly News with Brian Williams. While interviewing Republican strategist Mike Murphy who said winning in Iowa is "by no means … the ticket to victory," Mitchell adds "The rap on Iowa: it doesn't represent the rest of the country — too white, too evangelical, too rural."
FoxNews, TheBlaze, and other regular suspects are calling for her head. I'd settle for the head of her husband.

C_R_Eature January 2, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Well now, all that just reminds me of This Guy.

Barrelhse January 2, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Fuckers are desperate for some head, eh?

tessiee January 2, 2012 at 10:38 pm

"criticisms that correspondent Andrea Mitchell stereotyped the state of Iowa as "too white, too evangelical, too rural" to represent the U.S. electorate Monday, telling The Atlantic Wire she was merely citing critics who feel that way."

So, if I'm to understand this…
NBC News has their panties in a bunch because Andrea Mitchell either a) suggested that Real America wasn't made up of white, rural, evangelical Christians (like it's fucking 1850 or something), or b) interviewed somebody (a Republican, yet!) who suggested that Real America wasn't made up of white, rural, evangelical Christians.

Well, *brushes palms together to indicate fait accompli* that sure sounds like Thoughtcrime to *me*. Time to get the rat cages, I suppose.

Jukesgrrl January 2, 2012 at 10:45 pm

A journalist should be fired for presenting accurate, factual information? How post-millennial.

NorthStarSpanx January 3, 2012 at 11:00 am

It's as apt a summation of the Iowa Caucus as Peggy Noonan and Mike Murphy's hot mike oops re: McCain's selection of Palin as a running mate.

CT: Yeah, I mean is she really the most qualified woman they could have turned to?

PN: The most qualified? No! I think they went for this — excuse me– political bullshit about narratives —

CT: Yeah they went to a narrative.

MM: I totally agree.

PN: Every time the Republicans do that, because that's not where they live and it's not what they're good at, they blow it.

MM: You know what's really the worst thing about it? The greatness of McCain is no cynicism, and this is cynical.

CT: This is cynical, and as you called it, gimmicky.

MM: Yeah.

Barrelhse January 2, 2012 at 9:45 pm

The Wife has the determined stare of a mother who is about to buckle-up the kids and drive off a boat ramp.

OneDollarJuana January 2, 2012 at 10:20 pm
PalinzADummy January 3, 2012 at 1:30 am

Isn't that de rigeur, in these cases?

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:39 am

Ya can't blame her. She hasn't had one since 9 months before the last ugly kid.

proudgrampa January 2, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Oh, the stupid just continues, eh?

We are so going to get the government we deserve this year…

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 10:30 pm

PLEEZ don't say that, grampa, PLEEZ! Pleez,just once, let us get something BETTER than we deserve.

proudgrampa January 3, 2012 at 12:39 am

I'm sorry, luv. I'm really, really trying to be more optimistic this year but it's proving a LOT more difficult than I thought (I know, I know — it's only January 2!).

PalinzADummy January 3, 2012 at 1:35 am

Well, I'll give you a New Year's hug anyway, and hope for the best. If humanity got what it deserved we'd be wiped out tomorrow. (sniff!)

Hey, maybe that's not such a bad idea after all …

Monsieur_Grumpe January 2, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Actually I think that kid's doll in the picture is a dead fetus from the Santorum's failed pregnancies. It could happen.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A61

Creepy no?

Katydid January 3, 2012 at 7:34 am

Wow, creepy it is. Those poor Santorum kids. Poor us.

I liked what Bob Kerrey said: "Is Santorum Latin for anus?" That's good too.

NorthStarSpanx January 3, 2012 at 11:03 am

Prize sentence: "The same has been said of Santorum. In so many words, or facial gestures."

tessiee January 2, 2012 at 9:50 pm

"the manager at one branch of a Christian conservative-owned pizza chain in Iowa has now dubiously titled one of its menu items “Santorum salad”"

Does it come with that cake that looks like a litter box? Because that would be kinda awesome.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 10:30 pm

You hung out on alt-dot-tasteless, din'tchu?

Barrelhse January 2, 2012 at 10:38 pm

I was picturing that chocolate pudding/cake thing that bakes in the same pan; warm, with whipped topping.

tessiee January 2, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Not to take anything away from Dan Savage, but Li'l Ricky would be a laughing stock even if Dan had never heard of him.

Barrelhse January 2, 2012 at 10:42 pm

I bet the little bitch has never even jerked off.

RavenRant January 2, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Tessie, starting strong in the New Year, I see.

Ricky has the unique ability to inspire revulsion even in the fringe dwellers who agree with his medieval 'positions'. (There is a 'Santorum/Positions' joke to be made here, but I'm too depressed to work it out.)

Redhead January 2, 2012 at 9:53 pm

"do they know where he stands on that third portion that makes up the all-important trifecta of Republican qualifications for presidential nominee, racism?"

It IS rather hard for today's repugnicant to stand out among the every-day usual racism and really get the voters' attention.

tessiee January 2, 2012 at 9:55 pm

“I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn their money and provide for themselves and their families,” he added. “The best way to do that is to get the manufacturing sector of the economy rolling.”

Setting aside the obvious considerations that nobody 1) takes Santorum seriously or 2) cares what the thinks, I think it would be just peachy keen if somebody called his bluff and said, "I agree that we should get the manufacturing sector of the economy rolling, so that people who are out of work now can provide for themselves and their families. What exactly are you going to do in order to accomplish this?"

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 10:31 pm

I've just been stirring up shit on the InterNutz by asking all the Santorum-followers exactly that. Oooh, girl, you never saw so much mad all in one place.

Geminisunmars January 3, 2012 at 4:53 am

Were they frothing mad?

Jukesgrrl January 2, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Yes, it seems to be far beyond the powers of most journalists to pose questions like that. Far easier to present Rick with another platform on which he can lecture us about our failure to live up to his moral standards.

ShaveTheWhales January 2, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Close OSHA and the EPA, natch.

starfanglednut January 3, 2012 at 9:57 am

bring back slavery, duh.

PuckStopsHere January 2, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Totes OT but important to note nonetheless: Pedobear is a big time Penn St fan! (w pics!!!) http://deadspin.com/5872516/pedobear-showed-up-at

Radiotherapy January 2, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Extem, I didn't know you admired the ground acquisition game.

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:12 am

I hear he also likes the Cuse.

horsedreamer_1 January 2, 2012 at 9:56 pm

& with ethanol welfare subsidies gone away, there will be plenty of corn for the Santorum Salad.

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:51 am

Santorum creamed corn! The local specialty in Bumfuck, IA!

starfanglednut January 3, 2012 at 9:58 am

Alright, now I'm seriously gonna puke.

user-of-owls January 2, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Hey Wonkett, seems everything is funny to you.

anniegetyerfun January 2, 2012 at 10:20 pm

I kind of miss Cindy, now that you mention it.

user-of-owls January 2, 2012 at 10:31 pm

When your pining gets too great to bear, just look at Gingrich's toy doll. A cheap imitator, I'll grant you, but it'll fill your trepanned "blond that does not occur in nature" political accessory fix.

Barrelhse January 2, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Speaking of which, it has been a while since the last "Dear Shit-for-Brains" fan mail column here.

Biff January 2, 2012 at 11:47 pm

True. I get some of my favorite temporary screen names from that.

C_R_Eature January 2, 2012 at 10:09 pm

I looked up the image (I just had to) and it looks like Potato Salad but, urgh… it …looks…FROTHY!

anniegetyerfun January 2, 2012 at 10:12 pm

So, I didn't think that you guys (via Dan Savage) could pull it off, but I now actually giggle out loud when I hear "Santorum" on the radio. The word, its meaning has changed.

starfanglednut January 3, 2012 at 10:01 am

I saw a headline the other day: Romney smears Santorum, and I could almost hear the journalistic interns giggling furiously in the background.

donner_froh January 2, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Do not WORRY, bitter white idiots (but still FEAR, always fear)

Listening to NPR this afternoon. The subject was the way religion (evangelicals) affected the Iowa caucuses. They usual blah-blah but when the host asked NPR religion editor Barbara Bradley Hagerty why the evangelicals were so opposed to Obama she tied herself in knots trying not to say the obvious: He is black, they are racists.

If circumlocutions were currency she could buy an island and retire after that performance.

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:14 am

As Umberto Eco once said: never trust women who use two last names. Also, never listen to NPR. It is just barely not stupid enough that you don't turn it off. That is its only virtue.

littlebigdaddy January 2, 2012 at 10:30 pm

I haven't heard about those welfare queens in their Cadillacs (do they still make them I wonder?) for so long, I have a huge santorum boner for that shit.

Negropolis January 3, 2012 at 1:27 am

You mean the Welfare Queen Supreme model of Cadillacs? No, those were discontinued in the 90's during Republican Congress' "welfare reform." Welfare Queens are now relegated to the cheaper "Prince Consort" and "Lady-in-Waiting" Cadillac models.

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:15 am

But they still get to keep the hair dos?

Negropolis January 3, 2012 at 9:16 am

But, of course! If nothing else, they will have their hair and nails did, as they say.

littlebigdaddy January 2, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Re alt text. Wouldn't the Black Hole of Calcutta be more santorum-appropriate?

DaRooster January 2, 2012 at 10:51 pm

So Herman Cain is behind Santorum?

user-of-owls January 2, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Maybe in Rick's case, we could reverse things and have it be dog-on-man. Anyone know what they did with Vick's pit bulls?

Donner, Party of 1 January 3, 2012 at 12:01 am

They're in doggy Heaven now.

PalinzADummy January 3, 2012 at 1:10 am

They were taken in by rescue organizations which managed to rehab many of them and find them new forever homes. To my great surprise, despite their ill-treatment, they don't seem to hate people.

flamingpdog January 3, 2012 at 2:05 am

I think they were Vicks Vaporized.

obfuscator2 January 2, 2012 at 10:56 pm

“i don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them other people’s money.”

that reminded me of him and lady crazy eyes signing that family values pro-slavery pledge a while back. i guess he's got no problem with making white people's lives better by giving them black people.

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:16 am

You know, it's just me, but I read that as "make black people's livers better" and I thought why the fuck not!

user-of-owls January 2, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Looks like The Legendary K.O. is gonna have a sequel!

scarface99 January 2, 2012 at 11:01 pm

‘dependent on washington’ yeah right asshole who collected a senator’s salary for 6 years or whatever it was jackass!

scarface99 January 2, 2012 at 11:04 pm

'dependent on washington' yeah right asshole collecting senator's salary etc etc.

johnnyzhivago January 2, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Seriously, I'm re-registering as a Republican ASAP so I can vote for Ron Paul in the primaries. Operation Chaos 2012!!!

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:17 am

Oh yeah, it is on!

flamingpdog January 2, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Marginally on-topic, but good for a quick head slap.

After this campaign is over, nobody is going to name their newborns Rick for the next 20 years.

Jukesgrrl January 3, 2012 at 12:06 am

You would think Nixon would've been enough.

Geminisunmars January 3, 2012 at 5:00 am

Well you don't meet too many Dicks, now, do you? Oh, wait…

Jukesgrrl January 4, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Yes, I meet more than my share here in Arizona.

HughDMann January 2, 2012 at 11:16 pm

The closer they get to being voted off of the island, the more the turn their 'asshole' knob up to full blast.

Neoyorquino January 2, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Santorum Salad. Oh please, dear god, those better be croutons.

UW8316154 January 2, 2012 at 11:46 pm

And that BETTER be Thousand Island Dressing.

ShaveTheWhales January 2, 2012 at 11:37 pm

So, I was browsing through the daily blather from Ioway, and discovered a speech by Ricky in which he attributes the decline of the the fucking British Empire to the introduction of "social safety nets" and universal healthcare.

Slightly overlooking the effects of the economic rise of Germany and the US, two world wars, international communism, oh, maybe Mohandas Gandhi and the unsustainability of white empire in black Africa, and a few other things. And the fact that the NHS wasn't created until 1948, after the Empire was no more.

And I imagine his audience took his words at face value.

Jukesgrrl January 3, 2012 at 12:05 am

Why of course. He woulda never bin a United States senator if weren't such a smart feller.

Chichikovovich January 3, 2012 at 12:58 am

Not that I'm trying to defend Santorum, because he's an ignorant fool so completely enslaved by his ideology that it makes him blind to simple principles of evidence and logic. And his thesis is on its face preposterous for the reasons you cite and others too. But probably the beginning of state health care and social safety nets in Britain would be pushed back to the Lloyd George budget of 1909 rather than the NHS:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Lloyd_George#P

Negropolis January 3, 2012 at 1:33 am

And, I imagine his audience's eyes glazed over like a ham on Christmas, having absolutely no fucking idea what he was talking about.

starfanglednut January 3, 2012 at 10:05 am

"glazed over like a ham on Christmas"

I love that.

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:19 am

You know, the great thing about the goopers, whether they are listening to Rick, One-L, or Newt, this is literally the first time they have ever heard of things like the British Empire, etc. It makes them feel, well, special, and they will of course agree with whatever interpretation is on offer.

DerrickWildcat January 2, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Can't wait to see what the Paul conspiracy kooks come up with when Paul loses tomorrow. It should be hilarious.

flamingpdog January 3, 2012 at 12:02 am

A true apaulcolypse.

PalinzADummy January 3, 2012 at 1:13 am

Even if he wins, there's gonna be some fur flying. Because if he takes Iowa and loses all the other states, it's gonna be PROOF that the LSM is in a CONSPIRACY against Doctor Paul, the ONLY truthful politician, you LIBTRADEZ!

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:42 am

How can he possibly lose! He has a fucking blimp goddammit!

Biff January 2, 2012 at 11:52 pm

I can't wait for him to update his family photo, including Gabriel and Bella, further burnishing his family values cred among the cretins that buy his schtick.

Antispandex January 3, 2012 at 12:07 am

Cause everybody knows those darkies are only qualified for them manafacturin jobs?

KeepFnThatChicken January 3, 2012 at 12:31 am

Rick Santorum is the transvestite Sarah Palin.

Neoyorquino January 3, 2012 at 7:42 am

I always thought Sarah Palin was the transvestite Sarah Palin.

Negropolis January 3, 2012 at 12:46 am

You want to know the very saddest thing I find about his comment? I bet you $10,000 Romneybucks that he thought he was clever by using "other people's" to mean "white people's". I bet you he honestly doesn't believe he was being racist, or at least thought he wasn't being overtly racist by just singiling out black people, instead of singling out white's, too. I bet you he think he has plausible deniability.

Coulda' fooled the fuck out of me. I wasn't aware that black people and white people had different American currency, and that we're crazing "other people's" money. Silly me, I thought we were all working to make the same buck to support ourselves and or families. I wonder what the exchange rate is, this days, between black dollars and white dollars?

I know this nation can be fickle and spiteful and downright mean when it comes to voting for politicians, but if this presidnet can't win against this field of race-baiting, women-hating, homophic and just generally American-hating — yeah, I fucking said it — crazies, I won't know what to think, anymore.

KeepFnThatChicken January 3, 2012 at 12:53 am

The most telling story about welfare I ever heard — from a die-hard Republican, no less! — goes like this: "Welfare is the price you pay to live in a civil society. If we didn't give the poor people something, you'd have to put bars on your windows and everyone would be armed in fear of all those poor people coming after your stuff.

"Plus, it's a very small amount on the overall budget. We can afford that."

Even though his words were crude, he at least touched on the sine qua non that the government (that's US) really should have a hand in doing something for the less privileged and needy.

Negropolis January 3, 2012 at 1:40 am

Welfare is the recognition in a society built around technological advancement which renders whole swaths of people unnecessary, or at least seemingly so, that you better fucking keep them from reverting back to their most primal urges by not dropping them and their families out on the street and expecting them to survive without taking. There is no such thing as "full employment" in a society where the entire point is making more shit with less people (i.e. "efficiency"). It is the very purpose and result of modern American capitalism to cut away as many people from capital as possible leaving more for the top. It doesn't care about employment; only the very few people near the top of the system recognize that you can only cut off so many people at a time and keep the society from crumbling completely beneath you. But, their greed left unchecked doesn't alert them to when this will happen.

The Republicans are only halfway right when they characterize welfare as "paying people not to work". The other half of that is that we pay people to make sure they continue to buy into society for long enough where a job may eventually open up for them. Civilization only survives so long as people believe in it. You toss someone out of the streets with a "thank and fuck you very much." you better prepared for the natural consequences of that. We're always put one generation of the experiment going to pot.

It's crude; it's also the honest-to-goodness truth.

starfanglednut January 3, 2012 at 10:21 am

As someone who lives on disability (psychiatric, and yes, that is a real disability) which is actually slightly more money than welfare, I can tell you that few people would choose to have such a tight budget. The stereotype of people receiving government assistance lazing around in luxury laughing at working slobs is profoundly inaccurate.

Don't get me wrong. I am very grateful to live in a society that cares for me, and perceive the justice in the social safety net on a personal level. I am working my ass off going to school to get off disability, because I would like to afford things like a car ( and not to end up in a state nursing home). Oh, and I'm white, also too. So the repubs with their welfare Cadillacs can just fuck off.

flamingpdog January 3, 2012 at 2:16 am

It's the same way with education. A lot of the oldz around here (not including me!) say, hey, I've put my kids through school, why should I want to pay (much less raise!!!) real estate taxes to pay for other peoples' kids to go to school. The best retort to ignorant people like this is, "Do you really want their kids out on the streets breaking into your house, stealing your car, and making it impossible for you to leave the house for fear of being mugged because they have no education???"

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:22 am

I don't think they will win, but just in case I wonder if we need to start looking at real estate in Argentina. You know, a Wonkette freedom anal sex and peaceful drugs collective!

Geminisunmars January 3, 2012 at 5:06 am

Do we have to have anal sex to be part of the collective?

starfanglednut January 3, 2012 at 10:23 am

Don't knock it till you've tried it…

Geminisunmars January 3, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Oh, butt I have.

KeepFnThatChicken January 3, 2012 at 12:47 am

Do you think Rick will just walk by the long lines of unemployed workers and tell 'em to "Get a fuckin' job, you losers!"? Because he sounds like he would say that, minus the "fuckin'" part.

PalinzADummy January 3, 2012 at 1:15 am

Rick's a coward. He wouldn't dare. And if he did, I certainly hope my fellow workers would tear him limb from limb.

starfanglednut January 3, 2012 at 10:23 am

He would never swear. He's too moral.

fartknocker January 3, 2012 at 12:54 am

I'm sure Faux news will say that MSNBC, John Stewart, Eric Colbert and CBS are taking Rick's statements out of context.

OT but related: No more Federal subsidies for ethanol as of yesterday. I'm sure the Ethanol Council is quivering in their boots and hoping for Iowans to support the corn and pig shit industries.

Negropolis January 3, 2012 at 1:00 am

Somehow, I can't imagine Santorum going to some church-going crowd in middle-class areas of Detroit pandering to them about their money going to poor "white people in Appalachia", call me crazy.

flamingpdog January 3, 2012 at 2:25 am

I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but your snark made me laugh darkly because I realized that as sad and sick as it is, at least poor black people are "recognized" in American society. Poor white people in Appalachia are pretty much "invisible" outside their own world.

Negropolis January 3, 2012 at 9:10 am

…at least poor black people are "recognized" in American society.

And I would like to make it very clear that that is because black people (poor and wealthy, alike) literally fought and died to make sure that we were, and a lot of other groups that put in their voice ultimately and rightfully benefited for that work (Chicanos, later, women, etc…). I wish others would have joined us before they were co-opted by some of the most tribal, base elements that turned them against the movement. MLK was on his way into trying to incorporate general economic justice movements into the greater civil rights movement when he was killed, but I question if they'd have joined in.

I hope this isn't taken the wrong way, either, but if Appalachia wasn't so convinced that government is unredeemable and that it is in fact evil, and so wary of "strangers", they could have a voice and be folded into the economic justice movement, too.

starfanglednut January 3, 2012 at 10:25 am

Somehow, I can't imagine Santorum going to Detroit, period.

iburl January 3, 2012 at 3:01 am

Now all that's left is for the white folks of Iowa do decide it they'd rather black people be janitors under Gingrich, be apartheided by Paul, work in factories under Santorum, or be assumed to know all the words to "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by Romney.

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:23 am

That "who let the dogs out" song is really hip!

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 4:54 am

You know I hate to admit this, but the picture of Santorum's wife, in all her long-suffering repressed sexy librarian persona gets me going. I bet she knows what santorum is from first hand experience.

littlebigdaddy January 3, 2012 at 5:09 am

I grew up in a world where Iowa and Kansas were places that were a little rusticated but were always on the front lines when it came to issues of racial equality. Where has that world gone?

Puffperney January 3, 2012 at 11:41 am

Having grown up in Kansas, I know what you mean. My ancestors came here in the Free Kansas immigrant wave. As a Kansas history buff, I am truly perplexed as to what happened to Kansas….

Come here a minute January 3, 2012 at 6:30 am

Was there every any doubt that Santorum would put browns into the mix?

Tundra Grifter January 3, 2012 at 9:24 am

CHAM:

A frothy mixture,at that…

Katydid January 3, 2012 at 7:48 am

After all this time reading Wonkette, after growing up in this country, and I still can't believe he thinks like that, let alone says it. Seriously, what in the motherfuck goes on his brain? Maybe he was the result of a partial birth abortion gone bad, and that's why he's so against them.

ThundercatHo January 3, 2012 at 8:08 am

Very clever theory, also explains why he is such a fucking idiot and why his head looks like it does.

starfanglednut January 3, 2012 at 10:26 am

Still got a piece of the coat hanger stuck in there.

ThundercatHo January 3, 2012 at 7:51 am

Rick's surge just got a little higher cuz the Duggar's are endorsing him. Probably bought their fetus jars at the same xtian bookstore (they're in the back, under the flails).

Bluestatelibel January 3, 2012 at 8:26 am

At least he didn't say, "I don't want to make bankers' lives better by giving them money," or we would have found him dead in a ditch somewhere this morning.

starfanglednut January 3, 2012 at 10:29 am

But if he had said "I want to make the banker's lives better by giving them black people's money.", he'd have the nomination in the bag.

Negligently_Joe January 3, 2012 at 9:08 am

It's funny how it almost seems like the whiter the white guy is, the more certain he is that he KNOWS just what The Blacks need. And also how inevitably wrong said white guy is.

All of this is just my way of saying that Rick Santorum is literally the whitest white guy I've ever known. Even his voice is basically a standup-up comedian's -like Chappelle's or Louis CK's- "white guy" voice. None of this makes him any more tolerable, I just feel the need to point this out.

starfanglednut January 3, 2012 at 9:57 am

What really gets me is repubs say this kind of thing out of one side of their mouths, while yammering about a "post racial society" our of the other.

An_Outhouse January 3, 2012 at 11:30 am

I thought Medicare was for old people, not black people.

Ducksworthy January 3, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Also those old white ladies in nursing homes who are sucking up all the Medicaid dollars must be made to SUFFER! Too.

DahBoner January 3, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Rick Santorum is as smooth as any explosive-diarhea bowell movement I've ever had…

HelmutNewton January 3, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Seriously, this whole Santorum Salad thing is yet another example of why we shouldn't let the first primary state be a bunch of ignorant lily-white farmers.

Negligently_Joe January 3, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Speaking of Rick Santorum being a bigot, constantly, about every minority group on earth, did you catch this recent thing:

The Huffingpo decided to do an interview with Rick's 20-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, for god knows what reason, and she offered this truly fascinating remix of the old "I can't be a bigot, I have gay friends" meme that Frothy Mix loves to trot out every once in a while:

She totally has gay friends who completely exist, and are planning to vote for Santorum, because of, you know, Santorum's "family platform".

The Huffingpo helpfully never bothered to ask who these friends are and could they please speak with them. Our liberal media at work, ladies and gentlemen!

ttommyunger January 3, 2012 at 11:08 pm

“I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them other people’s money.” Exactly, if, by black people you mean everybody and if by other people's money, you mean the one per cent.

Barrelhse January 2, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Say, are you a skier?

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Really. I mean, that would be such a tidy end to the current racing environmental catastrophe, not to mention our various ecological planet-crappage and endless dedication to war and destruction. This way, we'll all go quickly and if there's a Supreme Being, they can try again with, I don't know, maybe polar bears, or something.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 2, 2012 at 9:57 pm

You're more what I would call an optimist in today's world.

Spurning Beer January 2, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Santorum Blasts Mud-Slinging

tessiee January 2, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Like Kourtney, they're cravin' that muslin zucchini.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 10:50 pm

It's starting to show, innit? I wish they'd just do like McCain, remember at the debates when he just cold reached for Barry's buns and stuck his tongue out?

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 10:53 pm

I call mine that too. I'm so glad they don't have a clue what I'm saying, or I'd be on the hook for therapy bills for another decade or till whenever they went tits up.

HogeyeGrex January 4, 2012 at 2:52 am
PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 11:30 pm

I'm beginning to wonder if a majority of them are high-functioning Aspies, because they have obvious cognitive deficits and seem to become very easily overwhelmed by the prospect of holding multiple threads of thought in their impenetrable skulls.

PalinzADummy January 2, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Oh, that was right in there with the "you're the reel rasits becuase you want to keep black people poor and on welfare LIBRTa~DS!"

Fare la Volpe January 3, 2012 at 1:50 am

It also explains their rabid fury over Michelle Obama. Bitches be scared they got a mad case of the jungle fever.

PalinzADummy January 3, 2012 at 2:01 am

Hey, foxy one! (Hugs Fare) Happy New Year! Hope you had a good time and the new year is even better.

Tru dat. Damn Jim Sensenbrenner shoulda done the same thing as McCain. Just GRAB that ass, you cunts, you know you want to!

Geminisunmars January 3, 2012 at 4:29 am

This gives me an idea of how we can fight back against the Paultards: Just threaten to hug them, especially as they approach the voting booth. Aspies dislike being touched (gross generalization, I'm sure, but largely true) and if you are in physical proximity when arguing with them, be sure to reach out to touch them "reassuringly".

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