oh right like twitter needed another reason to be awful

Rupert Murdoch Discovers Fun New Venue For Unrepentant Evil: Twitter

Almost makes Chuck Grassley's Twitter feed seem dignified.

What does a bored kleptocrat billionaire who has already lived past his expiration date do to pass the time while he is on vacation in the Caribbean? If it’s Rupert Murdoch, he takes a webcam picture of his moldy white raisin mug, tacks it to his brand-new Twitter account and sets about mocking the working slobs of Great Britain for trying to act like rich folk and have their own vacations, TEE-HEE.

Whoops! His wicked seaside ramblings threw his wife into an illiterate twit-fit, and then he deleted the post, because that is not how you show Great Britain you are CONTRITE about illegally spying on their citizenry, for money.

From the Sydney Morning Herald:

His wife, Wendi Deng, also appears to have joined the increasingly ubiquitous microblogging site, quickly replied: “RUPERT!! delete tweet!!”

Within minutes the Wendi Deng account, which has not yet been verified and may not be genuine, continued: “EVERY1 @rupertmurdoch was only having a joke pROMSIE!!!”

Minutes later: “explaining to @rupertmurdoch about being careful with humor on line. sometimes it comes out as rude!”

About five hours later Mr Murdoch revealed his Twitter profile was causing people close to him some angst.
“I’m getting killed for fooling around here and friends frightened what I may really say!” he wrote.

Oh, but don’t worry. It’s not like Murdoch’s feed isn’t still full of hilarious, demonic twatterings like this one:

Aren’t bazillionaires supposed to be sort of smart or something, to have figured out how to amass all that insane wealth? [Sydney Morning Herald]

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  • Arken

    Rupert Murdoch is so old, he remembers when Ron Paul qualified for social security.

    • Millennial Malaise

      Was that before or after Dr. Paul qualified for the gold plated congressional health plan, or the lifetime of retirement pay?

      • OneDollarJuana

        But, but, he refused those because he's a libertarian, right?

  • Callyson

    “explaining to @rupertmurdoch about being careful with hacking phones of dead people. sometimes it comes out as rude!”

  • Callyson

    The decision of the octogenarian billionaire to embrace Twitter has been greeted with surprise by many, given his previous view of the internet as the home of "porn, thievery and hackers".
    Yeah, because that territory belongs to Rupert Murdoch's publications…

    • Fare la Volpe

      Didn't Murdoch INVENT the so-called Page Three Girl?

  • rocktonsam

    I'm not going to let Rupert ruin my new favorite holiday.
    The day after New Years Day day.
    Suck it you prick!

  • PuckStopsHere

    Maybe Brits ought to tax shit out of Rupert Murdoch and then they wouldn't be a broke country.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Then he wouldn't be so worried about other peoples' vacations. Win-win.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Don't mess with the Brit's holidays or you'll get a severe frown.

    • AlterNewt

      ..or a drive-by snubbing.

    • Negropolis

      If by a severe frown you mean a few thousand angry protestors mixed with some anarchists down on Whitehall, then yes, you'll get a "severe frown." lol

      Don't let the Brits fool you; they'll cut a bitch with the best of 'em. Hell, they are the originator of the term "knifecrime"."

  • SexySmurf

    I really did not need to read Rubert's musings on the consistency of santorum. Thanks Internets.

    • marrcus

      The consistency is different when it's surging.

      • Loaded_Pants

        It also depends on what one eats.

    • emmelemm

      "Rubert" – best typo ever?

      • SexySmurf

        The "b" is for bargain. Or bastard, either one.

        • OneDollarJuana

          Or butthole. Or bleeder. Or blatherskate. Or bombast. Or bum. Or brigand. Or buttnugget. Or bugger. Or bandersnatch.

          • flamingpdog

            Cess-a-me Street brought to you today by the letter "B".

  • GuanoFaucet

    Motherfucking please let someone hack his twitter account.

    • http://assistantatlas.blogspot.com/ assistantatlas

      Odds are that his password is probably something as stupid as "12345" or "password". Unless, you know, he learned a lesson from all those voicemails his hacks hacked.

      • Loaded_Pants

        "rupertsawesome1"?
        "moremoney$"?
        "hackdisbitches"?

        • http://dailyworldwatch.wordpress.com/ dailyworldwatch

          My bet is on "Wendisdong".

  • Guppy

    I recall a certain American president he was a fan of who took constant "holidays" and everything still turned out alright!

    • Harry_S_Truman

      Now watch this drive . . .

      • flamingpdog

        You've covered your ass, now get outta here.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Oh, leave Rupert alone. The man is an inspiration to anyone who has ever turned inherited wealth into even more wealth!

    • Guppy

      I'm sure Donald Trump has his picture hanging on the wall.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    wait a minute, wait a minute, you ain't heard nuthin yet……

    person of interest in L.A. Arsons….

    The "person of interest" detained for questioning in a string of arson fires is a native of Germany who may have been in dispute with federal immigration officials, sources said.

    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/01/la-

    Also, thanks to everyone who got me cleaned up and on the bus back to Az.

    • user-of-owls

      Well I'll be damned. I had no idea that Marinus van der Lubbe had a kid!

      • Blueb4sunrise

        WOW!
        A backwards somersault Godwin, with two twists, in the pike position.

        10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 9.5

        • C_R_Eature

          9.5? 9.5?! Those East German judges never give anyone a break.

          • user-of-owls

            I've been practicing that move for years! 9.5. What a bitch. At least I think she's a bitch. Hard to say with all those muscles and facial hair.

          • C_R_Eature

            Was a Bitch, I think. We won't know for sure until the genetic screening tests come back from the lab.

      • C_R_Eature

        Awesome. I had to look him up. Just awesome.

    • flamingpdog

      BUILD THE FENCE AROUND GERMANY!!!

    • Negropolis

      Sounds like they arrested some random Mexican for good measure, though. Can't let it just be some angry German.

  • CrunchyKnee

    That old fucker is on Twitter? They can't pass SOPA quick enough.

    • HateMachine

      No, after SOPA is passed, ol' Roop's twats will be the only ones allowed on the twatosphere.

      • OneDollarJuana

        And that will kill Twitter. Kinda like the voter suppression laws aimed at Democrats are keeping Gingrich off the Virginia ballot.

        • HateMachine

          Kill Twitter? Please. How many millions do you think Murdoch would shovel on to the Twitterati people for a personal vanity messaging service? It might not get any hits or serve any purpose whatsoever, but they'll sure as shit keep the servers lit.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            You mean like he did with what was that thing, Myspace?

          • Fare la Volpe

            Wait, that was Ole Rupe's doing? Yeegads, I couldn't have left that pile sooner.

  • Radiotherapy

    Glad to see it's only Jan. 2nd and the stupid is aflow.

    • C_R_Eature

      Yes. Imagine what the rest of the year is going to be like, eh?

      *collapses in heap, sobbing*

      • OneDollarJuana

        When I look at a list of everything that's happened this year (a lot!) it kind of makes me think of 1967, another busy year.

        • C_R_Eature

          Funny, I've been getting that kind of vibe, too.
          The society seems to be in transition like 67 &68 – one can only hope to someplace better. I can do without the analog to the '68 summer city riots and the assassinations, though – if I had a choice.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        There, there, dear. It'll be OK. (pats c_r_eature on teh back)

        Here, have a slug of bourbon.

        • C_R_Eature

          *eagerly grasps tumbler, gulps it all back* AHHHH! *cough, wheese*."Smooth".
          "All better now. Thansk!" "Now, bakk tew werk." (slides off chair onto floor, grinning).

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Snicker. (Wait till s/he figures out it's laced with red bull and speed.)

          • C_R_Eature

            (Jumps up, runs towards door, misses, runs through new C.R. shaped hole in wall). Yelling "WAAAH_HOOOO" just like Major "King" Kong.
            Still gets to work late, but has a strangely productive day.

    • flamingpdog

      I don't think the stoopid spigot can be turned off.

      • C_R_Eature

        Spigot's stuck open with Santorum. It's everywhere.

  • Bezoar

    "Aren’t bazillionaires supposed to be sort of smart or something, to have figured out how to amass all that insane wealth?"

    I don't think it takes smarts so much as a predatory disposition. You could call it 'criminality', to be honest.

  • jus_wonderin

    OT: Anyone answer the "What Do You Think" questionaire?

    • Radiotherapy

      What do you think?

      • jus_wonderin

        "I do not have a strong opinion."

        • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

          I think I'm not afraid of snakes, but I may be wrong.

          • jus_wonderin

            I kept going answering each time it gave me 3 more questions to vote on thinking "When is the going to end?" Then, when it finally did end I was sad because I wanted it to ask me more questions. I felt like I lost a friend.

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

            A friend wouldn't send all your responses to doubleclick. Resist the temptation!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Me too, but it hasn't ended yet, I don't think. I'll miss the little bugger when it goes. Or when they take me off the drugs, whichever comes first.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      What do you think?

      • user-of-owls

        What do you think?

        • ProgressiveInga

          What DO you think?

          • http://www.wonkette.com Salacious Crumb

            Think, do you what?

          • user-of-owls

            Stink, you poo what?

          • Radiotherapy

            This comment has been deleted by the user.

            What do you think about that?

          • user-of-owls
          • Radiotherapy

            And the horse you Rodin on.

          • user-of-owls

            Have you lost your marbles?

          • Radiotherapy

            Fo' chizzle!

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

            A sphincter says what?

          • ShaveTheWhales

            What, do you think?

          • user-of-owls
          • Radiotherapy

            No more Santorum!

    • Blueb4sunrise

      I agree.

    • nounverb911

      Same here.

  • Lucidamente1

    You can never have enough Santorum surging in Iowa.

    • nounverb911

      Doesn't it make the streets slippery?

      • jus_wonderin

        I read that as sheets. And yes, it does.

        • OneDollarJuana

          How about the Hershey Highway? After all, he was from PA.

    • Mahousu

      It's a good fertilizer; just make sure it doesn't get washed into the rivers.

    • Isyaignert

      I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

    • An_Outhouse

      One of the few states with wedded Santorum. The more the married-er.

  • Redhead

    Phew. I don't have a twitter account – one less thing to worry about being hacked.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Like it's a shocker to discover that Rupert Murdoch is a big dick! Sorry, Wendi, we kind of already figured that out.

    • Loaded_Pants

      She probably often thinks: "The stupid shit I have to deal with for the money."

  • Loaded_Pants

    It's like when my great-grandmother finally figured out voice mail.

    • tessiee

      My most recent temp job included the task of getting the messages that people left on voice mail when the office was closed evenings and weekends. Although the outgoing message clearly stated our hours and gave directions for leaving a message, we'd invariably get at least one message along the lines of:
      "Hello? HELLO??? IS ANYBODY THERE?? HELLO?… [disappointed] Oh, it's one of those damn things… [trailing off] nobody's there…" [clunk of phone receiver being dropped]

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Aren’t bazillionaires supposed to be sort of smart or something, to have figured out how to amass all that insane wealth?

    Nope, just evil.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Oops, should checked further up the thread.

      Sfn!! DELETE COMMENT!!

  • Ducksworthy

    The image of Santorum surging across the cornfields of Iowa is just horrifying. But those fields could use the manure.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Maybe it's useful as a weed killer?

      • Loaded_Pants

        It's good as both! Now, that is American innovation at it's best!

    • ShaveTheWhales

      A Photoshop opportunity, using some Fukushima footage?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Go for it!

        Ew.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      HNY, Ducks!

      I dunno. Can't we use something less likely to spread death and disease? You know, like duck poop. Or something.

    • wonkettkinkster

      Unfortunately since it's human waste, it'll only be good for fuel ethanol. Not like Iowa grows anything else!

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    With Santorum surging & Paul & Romney tied, does this mean it's She1ey's last putsch?

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Willard, Paul, and Perry.

      Worst folk group EVAH.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        All the sheets are brown …
        And our hair is gray …

  • Radiotherapy

    The whole "Santorum Surge" is, no doubt, journalistic "inside" joke. And it's even funnier when wankers like Murdoch are clueless.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      If Rick gets back into office, we can have endless headlines about how Santorum leaks this-or-that.

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

        And if he should ever play basketball with Barack, the headlines would be "Santorum Dribbles Up and Down the Court."

        • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

          But if he gets out of the politics game and gets a journalism job at Fox News, promos will be all "Santorum Covers Washington."

          • Loaded_Pants
          • ProgressiveInga

            After a Mittens victory tomorrow: "Romney Licks Santorum"

          • Radiotherapy

            He'll be good at rectifying the situation.

          • Radiotherapy

            He's the only one who will give Ron polyp Paul lip.

          • Loaded_Pants

            That one did me in…where's my "puke bucket"?

          • ShaveTheWhales

            Try the Veal Santorum. Tip your waitress.

          • Loaded_Pants

            I think I'll skip the "wafer-thin mint" just in case.

          • Radiotherapy

            That's a compliment coming from Loaded_Pants.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            AAAAUUUGFFFHHGHTH!!! NOOOEEEZ!!!

          • flamingpdog

            If the race "tightens", won't it require more lube and automatically result in a boost for Santorum? Sounds win/win to me.

          • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

            PERRY'S HUGE OPENING NARROWS AS FRICTION DRIES UP SANTORUM MOMENTUM

    • not that Dewey

      Are they clueless? He spelled "santorum" with a lower-case "S", but capitalized "Iowa".

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        You need to ask?

        • not that Dewey

          Well, he didn't get rich by not paying attention.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            And I'm saying Rupert's a vile old wretch and probably did it deliberately for laffs.

    • rocktonsam

      there have been 7 santorum surges.

      • tessiee

        Oh, goody!
        A story!
        *sits attentively at rocktonsam's feet*

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Maybe Murdoch's in on the joke. (yech)

  • old_phineas

    Oh, holy fuckin' Jesus crimininy. I was so horrified/amused with this story, that I actually tried to post here under my real name (luckily that venture failed). When Ida Tarbell wrote the exposes of John D. Rockefeller at the turn of the last century, Rockefeller was equally clueless as to "what's the big deal?" On the other hand Rockefeller was actually producing something of utility to his victims. Murdoch's attitude is the result of international corporate inbreeding, and the result of that is not pretty.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Hello, and welcome to the poo flingfest.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

    Yeah, if there's anything Murdoch knows a lot about, it's humility.

  • tessiee

    That cunt.

  • Rotundo_

    Oh Rupe, just die already and get the fuck over it. You've made your empire, time for the kids to fuck it all up beyond recognition. It should be interesting to see what his rental unit Wendi gets when the will settles. Maybe she will become the mistress of all media.

    • Loaded_Pants

      You just know the years-long legal fight over the will will start as soon as his body is plasticized & put into a glass coffin in the Fox News lobby.

      • Rotundo_

        I'm not so sure it would be at Fox News. More likely over at the Sun or one of the British tabloids. Now when Ailes kicks, they will have him in a glass box glowering over all the news droids and blond newreader/spokesmodels/vacant cranium-types at Fox News. Ailes *is* Fox News, the poisonous fuck. I'd love to know who will replace him. Perhaps Rove?

        • Loaded_Pants

          Good point. Maybe they'll just divide Rupert's parts up and distribute them like the Catholic Church did with "relics".

          • Rotundo_

            Send the genitals to be displayed in Ailes mouth. Fitting final resting place for them.

        • Fare la Volpe

          I hear Manson's not doing much these days.

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    STFU, Rupert!

  • Schmannnity

    When does Rupert start tweeting pictures of his crotch to Anthony Weiner's followers?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      ewww, just eww.

    • http://assistantatlas.blogspot.com/ assistantatlas

      Do. Not. Want.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Srsly.

  • x111e7thst

    A surging tide of santorum raises all ??

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Butts?

  • Beowoof

    Careful Rupert or you will take away all doubt that you are a huge douche bag.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      There's doubt? (rolls up sleeves) Show me these doubters. I will straighten them out.

  • Manhattan123

    Oh great, now he's going to start telling us what he had for breakfast and if he took a big shit that morning.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Gah!

    • Loaded_Pants

      Metamucil finally kicked in LOL

      • emmelemm

        There's some beautiful synergy there, with your username.

        • Loaded_Pants

          Why thank you! It's also so open to interpretation which is why I like it. How much is loaded in the pants? And with what? (Hint: no santorum)

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefillednewyear

      @murdochsboweljournal

    • flamingpdog
    • tessiee

      Grandpa Simpson: That's it! I'm not speaking to you!
      Homer Simpson: But how will I know what you had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day?
      Grandpa: You'll have to read my blog. [gestures to computer screen displaying picture of Grandpa and "WhyEverythingStinksNowadays.com"]

  • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

    I've given up on the quaint idea that being rich means being smart. Too much contradictory data accumulating: Trump, Cain, Murdoch, etc. I'm beginning to think the key to wealth is knowing how to intimidate smart people. You start out bullying the nerd into giving you the answers for the test, you end up old, stupid, loud and owning a bunch of stuff.

    • Geminisunmars

      Old, stupid, loud and owning a bunch of stuff is not way to go through life.

      • emmelemm

        Actually, it sounds like a pretty good way to go through life. For the person in question. Everyone around them, however…

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Actually, the usual path to riches is much simpler: inherit them.

  • SpiderCrab

    Repulsive old geezer. When he swims the sharks are repelled by his stink.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Shark #1: "How about this one?"
      Shark #2: "Nope. Smells funny and looks too old. Not enough meat. We'd probably be shitting ailes* for days."

      *ailes=new word for watery diarrhea.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Hie thee over to UrbanDictionary.com and enter that right away, dood.

    • Geminisunmars

      Wouldn't make good chum.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Santorum has surged into 3rd place. Let's have a ticker-tape parade.

    P.S. it's not really that Santorum has surged as much as it is that Newt and Bachman have de-surged.

    • Loaded_Pants

      They slipped in the santorum.

    • not that Dewey

      The surge is working!

    • flamingpdog

      If the final vote count is so close that there is no clear winner, I foresee the possiblity of someone(s) filing a surge suit.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Sounds wonderful. I hope it leaves them all broke.

  • smashedinhat

    That senile old fuck. Bet Wendi has to hold his withered dick when he goes for a whizz.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      …annnnd there goes my lunch. hey…when did I last have pastrami?

      • smashedinhat

        He should have used a naked Prof. Farnsworth of Futurama fame with tassels on his naked man titties as a Twitter avatar. There's a mental image one won't easily recover from!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          I join with DBB in offering you my lunches past in ho-ho-hork! mage.

        • tessiee

          Nah. Professor Farnsworth is smart.

    • Rotundo_

      Rest assured she's well compensated for the trouble. She may be a rental unit, but she's collecting good money doing so. She must have a hell of a time finding the damned thing. That's where a woman's natural advantage shines in manual dexterity, hands like a surgeon I'd imagine.

      • tessiee

        "She must have a hell of a time finding the damned thing"

        What, you never heard of a bookmark?

    • Loaded_Pants

      "Wait, wait! Rupert, I have to find it AGAIN, first!!"

  • AFKensington

    "Santorum Surging from Behind."

    Is there any other way?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Yes. It can also trickle down – the santorum economic plan

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Maybe this twit has too much time to be an utter douche bag.

  • user-of-owls

    Rupert, I make fun of Rep. Pete Hoekstra's tweets. I know Rep. Pete Hoekstra's tweets. Pete Hoekstra's tweets are a meme of mine. Oligarch, you're no Pete Hoekstra.

  • freakishlywrong

    King of all muthafuckin' media.

  • sbj1964

    What would Heir Murdoch say to this? NINE,NINE,NINE!

  • user-of-owls

    Ruprecht is just cranky because Kim Jong Un got his dream job.

  • C_R_Eature

    "All I said was 'Let's have Cake' or something like that and everyone gets all Pissy!"
    @marieantonette

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I think the last thing a guy who steals phone messages from dead children ought to want is for people to pay MORE attention to him.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      I think he should get plenty of attention, in jail.

      • tessiee

        Ya think Really Big Buckaroo could find it even faster than Wendee?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Pah! No one cares about dead children but their parents and a few sentimental ninnies.

      But hacking the British PM's email — now that's a different kettle of fish altogether, innit? That concerns the affairs of nations. Why is the heat not on for this egregious breach of security?

      • Fare la Volpe

        Security? Dear, he's a prime minister. They're lucky to get the ADT people to call within the hour after a break-in.

    • Negropolis

      That kind fo assumes that the person in question isn't a hopeless sociopath, though.

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    "Can you hack this shit too? Just kidding! Relax ppl!"
    @ruppertmurdoch

  • subsum

    @wendideng: you go now.

  • chascates

    Chuckle it up, Rupert. Death is headed your way. Soon. Old motherfucker.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      May it come soon, last long, and pain excruciatingly.

  • HedonismBot

    hEY WEndi! BEt U wisshs u wOUldA leT thatt GUy hit YoUr wrinlklY old SSSuGGar daddI in the fase with that CREEM pie AFtEr all, HUh??1?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      yeh, shut up wendi ur such a fagget

  • Isyaignert

    That last tweet about the Republicons is fake right? Or, does that evil fuk really think that way? That's a completely delusional thing for anyone to say if they've been paying attention.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    OT, but can we please, please, please get rid if the iced tea shocker and bring back kortney?

    • Rotundo_

      It's kind of a "good cop-bad cop" thing with PETA- one minute they have you staring blankly with a puddle of drool collecting on your keyboard, and then-WHAM! it's the gore and torture stuff with animal research facilities and stuff. I do understand the issues behind where they stand, but it loses something in the translation when you are gagging or getting an erection. It's difficult to get the message when autonomic reactions are already kicking in.

    • HedonismBot

      I'm not afraid to admit, the first time I saw the "iced tea shocker," for the briefest of moments I actually thought I was looking at a nude female posterior. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one.
      Paging Dr. Freud…

      • Fare la Volpe

        You're not the only one.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        I'd go with Jung on this one. It'd probably turn out better that way.

  • http://assistantatlas.blogspot.com/ assistantatlas

    Unsurprisingly, the fake Rupert Murdoch feed can't even dream of being as blithely, unthinkingly evil as the actual Rupert Murdoch is. But for those who enjoy that sort of thing, I do think @RupertMurdochPR is rather well done.

  • FlyOverGirl

    You know who else is glad to see Santorum surging?

    • Isyaignert

      Okay, I'll bite, who else is glad to see Santorum surging?

      Also, too, tell me about your mother. My mom's new nick name is the momster (like monster), not like she's hip or anything resembling that.

      • FlyOverGirl

        Today my mother has been half way decent. The bad run-in which I can tell in a coherent manner was at Christmas.

        I've developed a weird allergy/reaction to Soy Lecithin (it's an emulsifier found in most chocolates), and we worked like crazy to track down a chocolate bar without ingredient for me for Christmas. Finally found one at Trader Joe's without Soy Lecithin in it, and yeah, she was a part of the search.

        So December 26, I'm finishing up my breakfast and taking dishes to the kitchen to come back to the living room to find Mom sneaking a bite of the hard found chocolate bar. Not that I'd be okay with it at any other given time of the day, but goddamn, this is 8:30 am.

        So the YELLING begins from me about why she needed to do that. Notably that she purposefully snuck the bite while I was out of the room.

        Her reply varies from "I just wanted to know what it tasted like," to "the devil made me do it," to my nieces would have found it there anyway and eaten it (they showed no interest in it or any other chocolate to be honest).

        Seriously, WTF.?? The devil made me do it….

        So yeah, that's my Mom.

        New Year's Eve is a different issue. Not sure I can explain that one yet.

        And I was thinking Dan Savage would really like to see Santorum surging ;)

        • FlyOverGirl

          The fun part I should add is — last night I had to explain Santorum to my mother. We never got to the actual realities of what Santorum is; just that it's something gross from sex and Dan Savage took revenge with Google on Rick Santorum being a jerk. Mind you, she doesn't have a computer or use the internet so I also had to explain the whole Google machine and how those web site thingys get propelled to the top.

          So should we put our mothers together?

    • C_R_Eature

      The OxyClean Company?

    • Radiotherapy

      The Butthole Surfers?

    • BarackMyWorld

      Ted Haggard?

      (Yup…that joke works on 2 levels!)

    • ProgressiveInga

      The owner of The Boone Pizza Ranch in Boone, IA?:
      "The Boone Pizza Ranch named their chicken salad after Rick Santorum on Monday after the staff asked him to try their signature dish and he said he liked it."

      You heard it right: Santorum Salad. Your move, Dirty Sanchez.

      • Radiotherapy

        It's a toss up.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Jesus wept.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Thanks for the advice Mr Burns.

    "I'll keep it short and sweet. Family, religion, friendship … these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business."

    • Loaded_Pants

      A friend of mine used to work for Shank of America for years. He quit after he heard a conversation between two top executives in a elevator. My friend was up for a big promotion. But he concluded that they were complete psychopaths & he decided he had no interest in joining their ranks. Good call.

      • Radiotherapy

        In all of my dealings with middle management and up over the last 25+ years I've come to the same conclusion: they are all sociopaths. The capitalism train is driven by these nerve-racking, avaricious, hardly fellow human beans.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Indeed. And they work hard on training themselves to be that way. To see their fellow humans as fungible cogs in the economic system they serve. Our overlords could not oppress we the people so thorougly without these banal Evils merrily manning the controls.

    • BarackMyWorld

      You had me at "Mr. Burns."

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      D'oh!

  • BarackMyWorld

    OT, but I like this tweet better.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      That is genius.

      • valgal2342

        Indeed.

  • An_Outhouse

    twuner – twitter for prunes. . Maybe Rupert will lay done some major cash for it like he did Myspace.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Let's see his birth certificate!

    • Rotundo_

      Written on one of the columns of Stonhenge, in runes, it reads: "Mogg shat out Rupert here on third crossing of star at column four"

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Now, was that "Mogg," or "Dogg"? Because Rupert looks eerily similar to early drawings of the Antichrist … jes' sayin'.

        • HedonismBot

          Our friends across the pond refer to cats as "moggies." This makes perfect sense now. Rupert Murdoch is cat shit, quite literally.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Pity the Mogg didn't have the good sense of her species, and bury him deep, then.

  • cheetojeebus

    It would be really shitty if Maybe next time he got a "Santorum salad" in the face?

    I shit you not: http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/updates/335

    this shit just writes itself

    • DonnyKerabotsos

      That's it! New Year's Resolution: I'm a vegetarian!

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Not frothy enough!!!

  • http://theaccidentalenvironmentalist.blogspot.com Tsunami Ali

    Aren’t bazillionaires supposed to be sort of smart or something, to have figured out how to amass all that insane wealth?

    If you are ruthless and a raging dick, intelligence matters not one iota.

  • Bluestatelibel

    Yeah, you lazy Brits, get back to work. I expect you all thought you could leave early Christmas Eve, and show up a little late the day after, too – all on your employer's shilling! And you even thought you might enjoy a nice dinner with the family, including that little crippled kid, right? Bah, humbug.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      I'll bet he's never read the book, or if he has, that he doesn't see the parallels.

  • chascates

    Optimism: Bachmann also insisted that regardless of how she performs in Iowa, her campaign has the funds and structure to continue the fight to other states. “We’ve already bought our plane tickets,” she said indicating that they were ready to move on to New Hampshire.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      She also believes Marcus likes girls so there's that.

    • HedonismBot

      I tried really hard to find you a motivational poster about optimism. This will have to do, because life sucks and I can't find a better one. http://www.motifake.com/55155

  • BarackMyWorld

    I finally saw the clip from "60 Minutes" where Eric Canto's press secretary flips out when Leslie Stahl mentions that Reagan raised taxes. http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7393514n

    • not that Dewey

      That "gotcha" liberal mainstream recent history is making the job of Cantor flak increasingly difficult.

      • BarackMyWorld

        I guess we'll never find out what newspapers he reads or what he knows about Paul Revere.

        • not that Dewey

          And that video still should be the new Bitch Face.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      These fucks want to fight reality and they're betting they'll win. No wonder they want control of the Internet. I'm just flapdoodled by them. They will NOT believe whatever happened, if they don't want to, and that's how the world works, so there.

    • Biff

      That fuckweasel almost cost me a flatscreen. And a .357 cartridge. OTOH, way to go Leslie Stahl.

      • C_R_Eature

        Elvis! Is that you?

        When did you get back from Kepler-22b?

    • Fukui_SanYesOta

      I just watched that myself – the part where they just show the footage of Reagan saying "it's a compromise" is priceless.

    • HedonismBot

      I saw a brief portion of that "60 Minutes" clip last night too, but I had the mute on and I didn't watch nor listen to any of it. I was nursing a hangover, but otherwise having a good day and feeling optimistic about what 2012 may bring. I had no desire to ruin these feelings by exposing myself to ratface fuck Cantor and whatever evil bullshit he's cooking up this time. Sometimes it's better just to ignore it all and say fuck it.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Maybe Brits have too many Murdochs for a broke country.

    • not that Dewey

      England is not going to bankrupt itself!

  • anniegetyerfun

    Nothing useful to add except that Wendy's last name is pronounced "dung", not "dang" like everyone is always saying on teevee.

    • HedonismBot

      People pronounce Boehner as "Bay-ner," and I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever heard a newscaster refer to George W. Bush as "George Bush Junior."
      Anthony Weiner may have been a (minor) sex creep, but at least he didn't cop out and pronounce his name as "Way-ner." The dude owned his unfortunate name (no dick jokes intended) and kicked ass as a proudly liberal politician, until the sexting caught up to him.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Except it's not really "dung," either, but more like a soft t followed by an "ng".

      Very hard to tell, le, must hear.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Well, Mandarin has a softer d than English, but it's not a t, either. And it's not like it's missing a vowel.

  • Negropolis

    Someone please tell me that the Nightmare Before Christmas's Doctor Finklestein was based on Rupert Murdoch.

  • Negropolis

    BTW, greed doesn't have to be smart to attract and keep wealth. It just has to be overwhelming, willfull, and without real self-reflection. The more greed thinks, the more it puts itself in danger of finding or remembering a long buried conscience and responsibility.

    Kinda' discouraging, huh?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Aren’t bazillionaires supposed to be sort of smart or something, to have figured out how to amass all that insane wealth?

    Billionaires pay people to be smart for them. They also pay people to dress them, feed them, drive them, shop for them, communicate for them…. It's like being a queen bee without having to lay eggs.

    It's been like this since the Bronze Age, so we've got our work cut out for us if we're going to occupy this shit.

  • sati_demise

    Dear #RupertMurdock,
    go fk yurslf, mk?
    thks,
    evry body

  • ttommyunger

    Well, Rupert can just kiss my narrow Missouri ass. But his old lady? Do not fuck with her, I've seen her in action and she will kick your ass off and hand it back to you.