oh right like twitter needed another reason to be awful

Rupert Murdoch Discovers Fun New Venue For Unrepentant Evil: Twitter

Almost makes Chuck Grassley's Twitter feed seem dignified.

What does a bored kleptocrat billionaire who has already lived past his expiration date do to pass the time while he is on vacation in the Caribbean? If it’s Rupert Murdoch, he takes a webcam picture of his moldy white raisin mug, tacks it to his brand-new Twitter account and sets about mocking the working slobs of Great Britain for trying to act like rich folk and have their own vacations, TEE-HEE.

Whoops! His wicked seaside ramblings threw his wife into an illiterate twit-fit, and then he deleted the post, because that is not how you show Great Britain you are CONTRITE about illegally spying on their citizenry, for money.

From the Sydney Morning Herald:

His wife, Wendi Deng, also appears to have joined the increasingly ubiquitous microblogging site, quickly replied: “RUPERT!! delete tweet!!”

Within minutes the Wendi Deng account, which has not yet been verified and may not be genuine, continued: “EVERY1 @rupertmurdoch was only having a joke pROMSIE!!!”

Minutes later: “explaining to @rupertmurdoch about being careful with humor on line. sometimes it comes out as rude!”

About five hours later Mr Murdoch revealed his Twitter profile was causing people close to him some angst.
“I’m getting killed for fooling around here and friends frightened what I may really say!” he wrote.

Oh, but don’t worry. It’s not like Murdoch’s feed isn’t still full of hilarious, demonic twatterings like this one:

Aren’t bazillionaires supposed to be sort of smart or something, to have figured out how to amass all that insane wealth? [Sydney Morning Herald]

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    1. Millennial Malaise

      Was that before or after Dr. Paul qualified for the gold plated congressional health plan, or the lifetime of retirement pay?

  1. Callyson

    “explaining to @rupertmurdoch about being careful with hacking phones of dead people. sometimes it comes out as rude!”

  2. Callyson

    The decision of the octogenarian billionaire to embrace Twitter has been greeted with surprise by many, given his previous view of the internet as the home of "porn, thievery and hackers".
    Yeah, because that territory belongs to Rupert Murdoch's publications…

  3. rocktonsam

    I'm not going to let Rupert ruin my new favorite holiday.
    The day after New Years Day day.
    Suck it you prick!

  4. PuckStopsHere

    Maybe Brits ought to tax shit out of Rupert Murdoch and then they wouldn't be a broke country.

    1. Negropolis

      If by a severe frown you mean a few thousand angry protestors mixed with some anarchists down on Whitehall, then yes, you'll get a "severe frown." lol

      Don't let the Brits fool you; they'll cut a bitch with the best of 'em. Hell, they are the originator of the term "knifecrime"."

  5. SexySmurf

    I really did not need to read Rubert's musings on the consistency of santorum. Thanks Internets.

        1. OneDollarJuana

          Or butthole. Or bleeder. Or blatherskate. Or bombast. Or bum. Or brigand. Or buttnugget. Or bugger. Or bandersnatch.

    1. assistantatlas

      Odds are that his password is probably something as stupid as "12345" or "password". Unless, you know, he learned a lesson from all those voicemails his hacks hacked.

  6. Guppy

    I recall a certain American president he was a fan of who took constant "holidays" and everything still turned out alright!

  7. BarackMyWorld

    Oh, leave Rupert alone. The man is an inspiration to anyone who has ever turned inherited wealth into even more wealth!

  8. Blueb4sunrise

    wait a minute, wait a minute, you ain't heard nuthin yet……

    person of interest in L.A. Arsons….

    The "person of interest" detained for questioning in a string of arson fires is a native of Germany who may have been in dispute with federal immigration officials, sources said.


    Also, thanks to everyone who got me cleaned up and on the bus back to Az.

      1. Blueb4sunrise

        A backwards somersault Godwin, with two twists, in the pike position.

        10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 9.5

          1. user-of-owls

            I've been practicing that move for years! 9.5. What a bitch. At least I think she's a bitch. Hard to say with all those muscles and facial hair.

          2. C_R_Eature

            Was a Bitch, I think. We won't know for sure until the genetic screening tests come back from the lab.

    1. Negropolis

      Sounds like they arrested some random Mexican for good measure, though. Can't let it just be some angry German.

    1. HateMachine

      No, after SOPA is passed, ol' Roop's twats will be the only ones allowed on the twatosphere.

      1. OneDollarJuana

        And that will kill Twitter. Kinda like the voter suppression laws aimed at Democrats are keeping Gingrich off the Virginia ballot.

        1. HateMachine

          Kill Twitter? Please. How many millions do you think Murdoch would shovel on to the Twitterati people for a personal vanity messaging service? It might not get any hits or serve any purpose whatsoever, but they'll sure as shit keep the servers lit.

    1. C_R_Eature

      Yes. Imagine what the rest of the year is going to be like, eh?

      *collapses in heap, sobbing*

      1. OneDollarJuana

        When I look at a list of everything that's happened this year (a lot!) it kind of makes me think of 1967, another busy year.

        1. C_R_Eature

          Funny, I've been getting that kind of vibe, too.
          The society seems to be in transition like 67 &68 – one can only hope to someplace better. I can do without the analog to the '68 summer city riots and the assassinations, though – if I had a choice.

        1. C_R_Eature

          *eagerly grasps tumbler, gulps it all back* AHHHH! *cough, wheese*."Smooth".
          "All better now. Thansk!" "Now, bakk tew werk." (slides off chair onto floor, grinning).

          1. C_R_Eature

            (Jumps up, runs towards door, misses, runs through new C.R. shaped hole in wall). Yelling "WAAAH_HOOOO" just like Major "King" Kong.
            Still gets to work late, but has a strangely productive day.

  9. Bezoar

    "Aren’t bazillionaires supposed to be sort of smart or something, to have figured out how to amass all that insane wealth?"

    I don't think it takes smarts so much as a predatory disposition. You could call it 'criminality', to be honest.

          1. jus_wonderin

            I kept going answering each time it gave me 3 more questions to vote on thinking "When is the going to end?" Then, when it finally did end I was sad because I wanted it to ask me more questions. I felt like I lost a friend.

  10. Texan_Bulldog

    Like it's a shocker to discover that Rupert Murdoch is a big dick! Sorry, Wendi, we kind of already figured that out.

    1. tessiee

      My most recent temp job included the task of getting the messages that people left on voice mail when the office was closed evenings and weekends. Although the outgoing message clearly stated our hours and gave directions for leaving a message, we'd invariably get at least one message along the lines of:
      "Hello? HELLO??? IS ANYBODY THERE?? HELLO?… [disappointed] Oh, it's one of those damn things… [trailing off] nobody's there…" [clunk of phone receiver being dropped]

  11. Ducksworthy

    The image of Santorum surging across the cornfields of Iowa is just horrifying. But those fields could use the manure.

    1. wonkettkinkster

      Unfortunately since it's human waste, it'll only be good for fuel ethanol. Not like Iowa grows anything else!

  12. Radiotherapy

    The whole "Santorum Surge" is, no doubt, journalistic "inside" joke. And it's even funnier when wankers like Murdoch are clueless.

          1. flamingpdog

            If the race "tightens", won't it require more lube and automatically result in a boost for Santorum? Sounds win/win to me.

    1. not that Dewey

      Are they clueless? He spelled "santorum" with a lower-case "S", but capitalized "Iowa".

  13. old_phineas

    Oh, holy fuckin' Jesus crimininy. I was so horrified/amused with this story, that I actually tried to post here under my real name (luckily that venture failed). When Ida Tarbell wrote the exposes of John D. Rockefeller at the turn of the last century, Rockefeller was equally clueless as to "what's the big deal?" On the other hand Rockefeller was actually producing something of utility to his victims. Murdoch's attitude is the result of international corporate inbreeding, and the result of that is not pretty.

  14. Rotundo_

    Oh Rupe, just die already and get the fuck over it. You've made your empire, time for the kids to fuck it all up beyond recognition. It should be interesting to see what his rental unit Wendi gets when the will settles. Maybe she will become the mistress of all media.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      You just know the years-long legal fight over the will will start as soon as his body is plasticized & put into a glass coffin in the Fox News lobby.

      1. Rotundo_

        I'm not so sure it would be at Fox News. More likely over at the Sun or one of the British tabloids. Now when Ailes kicks, they will have him in a glass box glowering over all the news droids and blond newreader/spokesmodels/vacant cranium-types at Fox News. Ailes *is* Fox News, the poisonous fuck. I'd love to know who will replace him. Perhaps Rove?

        1. Loaded_Pants

          Good point. Maybe they'll just divide Rupert's parts up and distribute them like the Catholic Church did with "relics".

  15. Manhattan123

    Oh great, now he's going to start telling us what he had for breakfast and if he took a big shit that morning.

        1. Loaded_Pants

          Why thank you! It's also so open to interpretation which is why I like it. How much is loaded in the pants? And with what? (Hint: no santorum)

    1. tessiee

      Grandpa Simpson: That's it! I'm not speaking to you!
      Homer Simpson: But how will I know what you had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day?
      Grandpa: You'll have to read my blog. [gestures to computer screen displaying picture of Grandpa and "WhyEverythingStinksNowadays.com"]

  16. MaxUdargo

    I've given up on the quaint idea that being rich means being smart. Too much contradictory data accumulating: Trump, Cain, Murdoch, etc. I'm beginning to think the key to wealth is knowing how to intimidate smart people. You start out bullying the nerd into giving you the answers for the test, you end up old, stupid, loud and owning a bunch of stuff.

      1. emmelemm

        Actually, it sounds like a pretty good way to go through life. For the person in question. Everyone around them, however…

    1. Loaded_Pants

      Shark #1: "How about this one?"
      Shark #2: "Nope. Smells funny and looks too old. Not enough meat. We'd probably be shitting ailes* for days."

      *ailes=new word for watery diarrhea.

  17. DerrickWildcat

    Santorum has surged into 3rd place. Let's have a ticker-tape parade.

    P.S. it's not really that Santorum has surged as much as it is that Newt and Bachman have de-surged.

    1. flamingpdog

      If the final vote count is so close that there is no clear winner, I foresee the possiblity of someone(s) filing a surge suit.

      1. smashedinhat

        He should have used a naked Prof. Farnsworth of Futurama fame with tassels on his naked man titties as a Twitter avatar. There's a mental image one won't easily recover from!

    1. Rotundo_

      Rest assured she's well compensated for the trouble. She may be a rental unit, but she's collecting good money doing so. She must have a hell of a time finding the damned thing. That's where a woman's natural advantage shines in manual dexterity, hands like a surgeon I'd imagine.

      1. tessiee

        "She must have a hell of a time finding the damned thing"

        What, you never heard of a bookmark?

  18. user-of-owls

    Rupert, I make fun of Rep. Pete Hoekstra's tweets. I know Rep. Pete Hoekstra's tweets. Pete Hoekstra's tweets are a meme of mine. Oligarch, you're no Pete Hoekstra.

  19. C_R_Eature

    "All I said was 'Let's have Cake' or something like that and everyone gets all Pissy!"

    1. PalinzADummy

      Pah! No one cares about dead children but their parents and a few sentimental ninnies.

      But hacking the British PM's email — now that's a different kettle of fish altogether, innit? That concerns the affairs of nations. Why is the heat not on for this egregious breach of security?

      1. Fare la Volpe

        Security? Dear, he's a prime minister. They're lucky to get the ADT people to call within the hour after a break-in.

  20. HedonismBot

    hEY WEndi! BEt U wisshs u wOUldA leT thatt GUy hit YoUr wrinlklY old SSSuGGar daddI in the fase with that CREEM pie AFtEr all, HUh??1?

  21. Isyaignert

    That last tweet about the Republicons is fake right? Or, does that evil fuk really think that way? That's a completely delusional thing for anyone to say if they've been paying attention.

    1. Rotundo_

      It's kind of a "good cop-bad cop" thing with PETA- one minute they have you staring blankly with a puddle of drool collecting on your keyboard, and then-WHAM! it's the gore and torture stuff with animal research facilities and stuff. I do understand the issues behind where they stand, but it loses something in the translation when you are gagging or getting an erection. It's difficult to get the message when autonomic reactions are already kicking in.

    2. HedonismBot

      I'm not afraid to admit, the first time I saw the "iced tea shocker," for the briefest of moments I actually thought I was looking at a nude female posterior. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one.
      Paging Dr. Freud…

  22. assistantatlas

    Unsurprisingly, the fake Rupert Murdoch feed can't even dream of being as blithely, unthinkingly evil as the actual Rupert Murdoch is. But for those who enjoy that sort of thing, I do think @RupertMurdochPR is rather well done.

    1. Isyaignert

      Okay, I'll bite, who else is glad to see Santorum surging?

      Also, too, tell me about your mother. My mom's new nick name is the momster (like monster), not like she's hip or anything resembling that.

      1. FlyOverGirl

        Today my mother has been half way decent. The bad run-in which I can tell in a coherent manner was at Christmas.

        I've developed a weird allergy/reaction to Soy Lecithin (it's an emulsifier found in most chocolates), and we worked like crazy to track down a chocolate bar without ingredient for me for Christmas. Finally found one at Trader Joe's without Soy Lecithin in it, and yeah, she was a part of the search.

        So December 26, I'm finishing up my breakfast and taking dishes to the kitchen to come back to the living room to find Mom sneaking a bite of the hard found chocolate bar. Not that I'd be okay with it at any other given time of the day, but goddamn, this is 8:30 am.

        So the YELLING begins from me about why she needed to do that. Notably that she purposefully snuck the bite while I was out of the room.

        Her reply varies from "I just wanted to know what it tasted like," to "the devil made me do it," to my nieces would have found it there anyway and eaten it (they showed no interest in it or any other chocolate to be honest).

        Seriously, WTF.?? The devil made me do it….

        So yeah, that's my Mom.

        New Year's Eve is a different issue. Not sure I can explain that one yet.

        And I was thinking Dan Savage would really like to see Santorum surging ;)

        1. FlyOverGirl

          The fun part I should add is — last night I had to explain Santorum to my mother. We never got to the actual realities of what Santorum is; just that it's something gross from sex and Dan Savage took revenge with Google on Rick Santorum being a jerk. Mind you, she doesn't have a computer or use the internet so I also had to explain the whole Google machine and how those web site thingys get propelled to the top.

          So should we put our mothers together?

    2. ProgressiveInga

      The owner of The Boone Pizza Ranch in Boone, IA?:
      "The Boone Pizza Ranch named their chicken salad after Rick Santorum on Monday after the staff asked him to try their signature dish and he said he liked it."

      You heard it right: Santorum Salad. Your move, Dirty Sanchez.

  23. ManchuCandidate

    Thanks for the advice Mr Burns.

    "I'll keep it short and sweet. Family, religion, friendship … these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business."

    1. Loaded_Pants

      A friend of mine used to work for Shank of America for years. He quit after he heard a conversation between two top executives in a elevator. My friend was up for a big promotion. But he concluded that they were complete psychopaths & he decided he had no interest in joining their ranks. Good call.

      1. Radiotherapy

        In all of my dealings with middle management and up over the last 25+ years I've come to the same conclusion: they are all sociopaths. The capitalism train is driven by these nerve-racking, avaricious, hardly fellow human beans.

        1. PalinzADummy

          Indeed. And they work hard on training themselves to be that way. To see their fellow humans as fungible cogs in the economic system they serve. Our overlords could not oppress we the people so thorougly without these banal Evils merrily manning the controls.

  24. An_Outhouse

    twuner – twitter for prunes. . Maybe Rupert will lay done some major cash for it like he did Myspace.

    1. Rotundo_

      Written on one of the columns of Stonhenge, in runes, it reads: "Mogg shat out Rupert here on third crossing of star at column four"

        1. HedonismBot

          Our friends across the pond refer to cats as "moggies." This makes perfect sense now. Rupert Murdoch is cat shit, quite literally.

  25. Tsunami Ali

    Aren’t bazillionaires supposed to be sort of smart or something, to have figured out how to amass all that insane wealth?

    If you are ruthless and a raging dick, intelligence matters not one iota.

  26. Bluestatelibel

    Yeah, you lazy Brits, get back to work. I expect you all thought you could leave early Christmas Eve, and show up a little late the day after, too – all on your employer's shilling! And you even thought you might enjoy a nice dinner with the family, including that little crippled kid, right? Bah, humbug.

  27. chascates

    Optimism: Bachmann also insisted that regardless of how she performs in Iowa, her campaign has the funds and structure to continue the fight to other states. “We’ve already bought our plane tickets,” she said indicating that they were ready to move on to New Hampshire.

    1. not that Dewey

      That "gotcha" liberal mainstream recent history is making the job of Cantor flak increasingly difficult.

    2. PalinzADummy

      These fucks want to fight reality and they're betting they'll win. No wonder they want control of the Internet. I'm just flapdoodled by them. They will NOT believe whatever happened, if they don't want to, and that's how the world works, so there.

    3. Fukui_SanYesOta

      I just watched that myself – the part where they just show the footage of Reagan saying "it's a compromise" is priceless.

    4. HedonismBot

      I saw a brief portion of that "60 Minutes" clip last night too, but I had the mute on and I didn't watch nor listen to any of it. I was nursing a hangover, but otherwise having a good day and feeling optimistic about what 2012 may bring. I had no desire to ruin these feelings by exposing myself to ratface fuck Cantor and whatever evil bullshit he's cooking up this time. Sometimes it's better just to ignore it all and say fuck it.

  28. anniegetyerfun

    Nothing useful to add except that Wendy's last name is pronounced "dung", not "dang" like everyone is always saying on teevee.

    1. HedonismBot

      People pronounce Boehner as "Bay-ner," and I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever heard a newscaster refer to George W. Bush as "George Bush Junior."
      Anthony Weiner may have been a (minor) sex creep, but at least he didn't cop out and pronounce his name as "Way-ner." The dude owned his unfortunate name (no dick jokes intended) and kicked ass as a proudly liberal politician, until the sexting caught up to him.

      1. anniegetyerfun

        Well, Mandarin has a softer d than English, but it's not a t, either. And it's not like it's missing a vowel.

  29. Negropolis

    Someone please tell me that the Nightmare Before Christmas's Doctor Finklestein was based on Rupert Murdoch.

  30. Negropolis

    BTW, greed doesn't have to be smart to attract and keep wealth. It just has to be overwhelming, willfull, and without real self-reflection. The more greed thinks, the more it puts itself in danger of finding or remembering a long buried conscience and responsibility.

    Kinda' discouraging, huh?

  31. Spurning Beer

    Aren’t bazillionaires supposed to be sort of smart or something, to have figured out how to amass all that insane wealth?

    Billionaires pay people to be smart for them. They also pay people to dress them, feed them, drive them, shop for them, communicate for them…. It's like being a queen bee without having to lay eggs.

    It's been like this since the Bronze Age, so we've got our work cut out for us if we're going to occupy this shit.

  32. ttommyunger

    Well, Rupert can just kiss my narrow Missouri ass. But his old lady? Do not fuck with her, I've seen her in action and she will kick your ass off and hand it back to you.

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