How did you celebrate your New Year, dear readers?! Barack Obama celebrated by signing the National Defense Authorization Act — the exciting “detain all the fishy Americans the government feels like without trial, forever” bill — into law. Obama decided to wait until New Year’s Eve, when America was already halfway through its second six-pack, to sign this shameful piece of legislation and then pray no one besides the ACLU and a couple handfuls of weary reporters trudging through the holiday weekend shift would bother to notice. To demonstrate that he, a former Constitutional law professor, still felt at least a little bad about signing an unconstitutional bill into law, he also added a contrite signing statement promising not to use his powers for Evil. This would only really be helpful to FREEDUMB, however, if Barack Obama were always going to be President, forever. Does he know something that we don’t?
From the signing statement, via TalkingPointsMemo:
Ultimately, I decided to sign this bill not only because of the critically important services it provides for our forces and their families and the national security programs it authorizes, but also because the Congress revised provisions that otherwise would have jeopardized the safety, security, and liberty of the American people. Moving forward, my Administration will interpret and implement the provisions described below in a manner that best preserves the flexibility on which our safety depends and upholds the values on which this country was founded.
Hahaha, he should have just written “SIGH” in the margin next to his signature, since all these other words basically mean nothing. HOW MUCH NOTHING, you ask? Here is newly-elected Barack Obama in 2009, promising not to support this exact kind of criminally insane nonsense:
“We must have clear, defensible and lawful standards for those who fall into this category,” said Obama, speaking of protracted detention. “We must have fair procedures so that we don’t make mistakes. We must have a thorough process of periodic review so that any prolonged detention is carefully evaluated and justified. . . . And so, going forward, my administration will work with Congress to develop an appropriate legal regime.”
…
Mark D. Agrast, deputy assistant attorney general for legislative affairs, and Brad Wiegman, a principal deputy and chief of staff in the National Security Division who heads an interagency task force on detention policy, told a group of about 15 activists that the government has all the detention authority it needs and will neither propose nor support any new legislation, according to several people who attended the meeting.
OOPS! At least he managed to sign the bill on New Year’s Eve, so that those 68 #OWS protesters that the NYPD arrested at Zuccotti Park on New Year’s Day will be able to enjoy their nice surprise vacation, to Gitmo. [TPM/ ACLU]
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OH, it's about the troops and their families. Ok, carry on!
"The troops and their families." I'm sorry, but anytime I hear that expression it evokes hazy images of redneck idiots shooting up a kindergarden, all sort of simultaneously overlaid with Smartphone video of a herd of Fats unloading a Chevy Suburban full of Walmart-bought chocolate-covered Slim Jims, the fat little kids telling their parents to fuck off in between texts and slurps of Corn Juice.
I don't hate the soldiers who got roped into it by the lure of college, nor am I against any of the guys who pause to question this giant Exxon scam for one second. But some, just a few, of those guys want to live out real-life levels of Call of Duty. They really think it's fucking funny when some old lady gets pasted. It's those guys that the politicians want doing the fighting, don't kid yourself.
Mean people suck. Draft Liz Warren, FFS. Just… anything.
Speaking of our troops and their families, does that Wikileaking Bradley Manning fellow have any family? I bet they'd have liked to have seen him over Christmas. Is he still being beaten with rubber hoses 24/7 in a freezing solitary cell?
More than likely yes, I'm sure that the "perfectly legal manner of questioning and interviewing the Airman" has yielded confessions to everything up to and including the Kennedy assassination, though the Airman wasn't born at the time. And the Lindberg kidnapping, which was before his parents' time. Though these transcripts in highly redacted (for editing purposes for "clarity") will be used to full effect by the prosecution at the kang, oops military tribunal that will address this matter.
Slightly OT but not:
Lindbergh was a Nazi sympathizer.
Henry Ford was a Nazi sympathizer.
Grandpappy Bush was a Nazi sympathizer.
"It's OK if you are Republican."
He was transferred to Leavenworth months ago, where presumably they have better long term accommodations than the brig at Quantico. No word on the quality of the rubber hoses.
Did he belt out Bette Midler's "For the Boys" at the signing ceremony?
You know, just to add insult to injury, he attaches a "signing statement," which is basically the way a president says, "I'm signing this into law with the understanding that I am above the law I'm signing."
Hope and Change ain't what they used to be. I guess I'm supposed to feel satisfied that he at least feels bad about betraying his constituency and his country. But did he betray himself? I guess we'll never know. Anything. Because we don't matter. And we'd better learn to keep our mouths shut.
I tried to find some funny place to go with this, but I can't find a funny place. So it's just another pathetic, irrelevant, liberal lamentation on the internet. I hope that's not terrorism yet.
I can hardly wait to see what happens when "the Troops" are ordered to detain their own families. I guess we'll see where loyalty lies then…
This is why I put one of those yellow support the troops stickers on the back of my SUV.
Yellow? Why how un-American; you're obviously not red-white-and-blue blooded enough. Off to Gitmo with you!
Please use the correct title of the bill, "The Federal Tropical Vacation and Tourism Industry Incentivization Act."
… so Boehner can claim he's creating jobs.
2012: Get-mo' change.
Santorum is already preparing to detain all black people who aren't in favor of personhood amendments. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/01/santorum…
Prez Mittens would like to thank him for making it easier to fill all those reeducation camps in Utah.
So is Fox Newz against this then?
Yes/No.
Fox Poll:
Yes 122% / No 176%…
According to their own rulebook, if Obama is for it, they're against it.
Even if it means imprisoning Muslins? I think Barry has them over a barrel, here.
The fact that Fox News hasn't said anything makes me think they are a little nervous about being the first to be disappeared.
We should be so lucky.
If they are for it, then they will have to disagree with the reasons that Obama personally had for signing it.
"But was Mr. Obama really SINCERE? Does he really want to keep our children safe?"
"We're for it, but not because stupid-head Obama said so. We thought of it first."
♩ ♪ ♫ I can't Gitmo satisfaction. ♩ ♪ ♫
When I'm watchin' my T.V.
And Obama comes on to tell me
How fascist my state will be
But he can't be a president 'cause he doesn't have
the same constitution as me
constitutioncomplexion.He can't be a man
cuz he doesn't smoke
the same cigarettes as me.
But he can't be a preznit 'cause he doesn't have
the same birf certif'cate as me…
"hey you Gitmo off my cloud"
The Dems in congress get some blame as well. Carl Levin, chairman of the Senate Armed Services committee and formerly staunch civil libertarian, was one of the leaders of this shit.
Right on, donner. This fucking shit should NEVER had been written in to this funding. And Obama should have vetoed it. Fearing the inevitable "the muslin hates the troops"! bullshit, they backed him in to this crap.
What did Carl Levin do which showed he was once a "staunch civil libertarian"?
Words. Lots and lots of pretty words.
I'm not sure I'd call him a "staunch civil libertarian" because so very few of them make it to Congress. But, he has a lifetime ACLU rating of 85% which is pretty fuckin' good. It makes his sposoring of this bill downright confusing and a major betrayal.
Hey, evil in the service of good is a step up from evil in the service of evil. See, it's the change I can believe in.
Seriously though, I can see President Obama thinking about vetoing the whole freakin' defense bill and then imagining nine months of Carl Rove commercials that go "That socialist in the White House was willing to let our troops in Afghanistan die over whether we should coddle American citizens by not throwing them in jail before we actually accuse them of a crime." Just treat it like Dubya did to the unwanted fetus of a high-school girlfriend and quietly kill it when nobody's looking, okay?
Hey Wooks, it's Karl, as in KKK.
For some reason I thought the K spelling was just how I pictured it in my mind.
Yes I think the story here is that Obama was outwitted/boxed in by Republicans in Congress, not that he's a terrible autocrat intent on creating a fascist state.
So, I say boo to this, but for different reasons than most people. It's just another example of Obama getting outmaneuvered by people we consider to be stupid.
And while it will take years to resolve and will suck for those involved, once someone is actually detained under these powers that detention can be challenged in the courts. I'm sure the ACLU is already going to challenge it already. Get the courts to toss it out, just as they did with Japanese internment.
Uh, the Supreme Court UPHELD Japanese Internment at the time.
Well yes and no. In Korematsu they said that in theory detention was legal, but then with Ex parte Endo they said the gov't could not continue to hold someone once the government itself determined said citizen was indeed loyal. And that decision provided cover for FDR to rescind his executive order.
Lincoln was also challenged by the courts with Ex parte Merryman. So my point is, it's not like there are no ways to challenge this authority, if and when it is used by a future president.
Of course, by then they'd already been stripped of their sweet beachfront California acreage, so the threat level was like zilch. Oddly, I actually know more Manzanar detainees than I know WWII vets.
"Obama was outwitted/boxed in by Republicans in Congress" & "It's just another example of Obama getting outmaneuvered by people we consider to be stupid."
Yes, the only possible explanation.
As noted above, this shit was utterly bipartisan – Carl Levin as the ranking Dem was inisistent that this was perfectly okay and utterly necessary, and cited Supreme Court dicta from the Gitmo/habeas cases in support of the same.
So more like the President getting painted into a fucking corner by 4/5ths of Congress, just like Congressional Dems pussied out on transferring the Gitmo Gang to Illinois and North Dakota and putting them on trial in civilian courts.
So boo Congress, both sides – they suck. Unfortunately, they suck in ways that individually and collectively will get 90+ percent of them re-elected for as long as they feel like it.
So remind me, just how does the President kill that part of the bill he just signed with only the ability to propose legislation? Specifically, to propose the repeal of this heinous act to a legislature controlled by people to whom this is just what they wanted, totalitarian control masked by hagiographic love for our military?
And I just betcha the telecoms are still listening in to every phone call, tweet, and forum post.
He gets someone to sponsor it. Meanwhile, he doesn't have to authorize any military detentions, since he has final authority over that. From his signing statement:
Moreover, I want to clarify that my Administration will not authorize the indefinite military detention without trial of American citizens. Indeed, I believe that doing so would break with our most important traditions and values as a Nation.
Not that he should have this power at all, but ideally it will remain a purely theoretical error until it can be killed.
Shouldn't we be demanding that the Administration clarify how long this state-of-emergency law will be in effect, and what will constitute sufficient evidence that it is no longer needed?
Except Obama still keeps some Gitmo prisoners untried and indefinitely. And he's had an American citizen assassinated without trial.
Except that he's now negotiating with the Taliban over their release.
I'm confused. So, we get to lose our civil liberties, because Karl Rove is scary? Seriously? He gets to save his presidency (and even that is far from certain), but we get to lose serious freedoms in the process? What's the major difference in the result between him and whomever his successor would be if he was defeated because of not signing something like this?
I'm tired of the excuses. They don't even make any sense, anymore.
Have they outfitted the FEMA camps yet?
Haha, because the FEMA camps totally haven't been doing their thing for decades.
I call the cell with the window!
I call the cell with the toilet.
I call the asbestos-free cell!
I don't think you and I are gettin' out alive anyway, so what's the diff?
You have the right to remain incarcerated !
Upfisted solely for your avatar.
Ha-HA-HAAAAA!
Peace dividend FAIL. We sow the wind and reap the woodwinds in a persona non grata cantata. Say good night, grace notes!
"Defense" spending tripled since the late '90s. Just sayin'
And so, going forward, my administration will work with Congress…. blah blah.
"Going forward" is a Wall Street expression that has oozed into the vocabulary of our Dear Leader's speechwriters. Going forward, I think there should be a moratorium on the use of the expression, "going forward."
YES YES YES!
I loathe the term "going forward." It is creepy. Whatever happened to "from here on out?"
The other word I loathe? PIVOT.
PIVOT PIVOT PIVOT
Gah it makes me want to throttle someone.
Every single Politico article must contain at least 3 uses of the word pivot.
I generally stop reading an article as soon as I encounter the word, on principle.
So, the "take away" is that you don't care for the phrase?
So, you're prepared to hit the ground running with a new outside-of-the-box paradigm so that the job creators don't have to keep kicking this can down the road?
At the end of the day, yes.
Yes, because he doesn't give one tinker's heck about it.
he should touch base around this with marketing when they have the bandwidth to. you really have to use your resources if you want to have visibility on this type of project.
"Going forward, I think there should be a moratorium on the use of the expression, "going forward.""
Yeah, the expression "going forward" has totes jumped the shark, and needs to be thrown under the bus.
I long for the days of the go-go eighties when the corporate word of action was "thrust." Oh, so manly.
"Going forward" makes me feel stabby, which word also makes me feel stabby. THERE ARE NO WORDS LEFT!
It's only the 2nd day into the New Year and I nominate that the first word to be banned this year should be "surge".
"Going forward" reeks of "we're not going to revist any decision ever, so don't even dare fucking ask, again, got it?" There is a threatening finality that comes with the use of the term.
No habeus corpus for you bitches.
I got yer habeas corpus right here, sucka.
Ya can't Gitmo habeas corpus.
If you have nothing to hide, you don't need habeus corpus. Besides, everybody loves palm trees.
"habeus corpus"
Sounds French.
Close enough. Greek.
It's Latin for "you may have the body".
Oh, those sexy, sexy Latins…
If NDAA had been called "The Worldwide Indefinite Detention without Charge or Trial" bill the Pres would have signed it.
aka Star Chamber. That has a nice ring to it, sort of Hollywoodish…
First they came for the Fishy-Americans, and I said nothing because I am not an Fishy-American. Then they came for the Amphibian-Americans and I said nothing because I am not an Amphibian-American. Then they came for the Avian-Americans and we all just flew away.
Happy New Year, beloved Avian pal, I hope it's a better one for you than last year. Kisses Owls on beak and gently fluffs his feathers.
And the same to you old girl! And it will be a better year for me and for you!
*whirrr whirrr*
Are we eloping?
How about if we e-lope instead?
Yes, Happy 2012, Owls — "Only 353 more days until everybody abruptly stops talking about Mayans."
" Then they came for the Avian-Americans and we all just flew away."
To Avia?
I don't know that all of you are Latino. Some of you look a little Avian to me.
Cuando el tecolote canta, la Angle/a muere.
That was beautiful. If only we all had wings or means of flight.
I HOPE they allow us to CHANGE our prison jumpsuits more than once a week…
Probably nothing to worry about under a Bachmann presidency.
With POTUS Gringrich, we'd all be xtra safe now.
Run Hillary, Run.
I would support her if she ran.
If she were taking a long run off a short pier,
I'd be the wind beneath her sails.
I miss Jimmy Carter.
That old guy who keeps harping about human rights and free elections? So 1980s.
Solar panels! Solar panels on the White House!
….
D'oh!
Do you reallly think she wouldn't have signed it too? I do not want to start a Hillary flame war here; I'm really curious.
I think she would have signed.
Especially if she were up for reelection.
I learned about the signing by way of a very smug statement. Your president signed the NDAA bill. To which I replied, "And a Republican president would not have signed it, amiright?"
Maybe our new Democratic Congress take some action on it.
That's a typo in the 2009 statement. Barack was actually talking about protracted dentition.
Alternate headline: "Obama Quashes Magna Carta."
Magna Carta? Jus' more a' that fancy-pants Latin, I reckon.
Death to King John!
EDIT: Also, too, we almost made it to 900 years…from 1215 to 2015. Dammit.
Nice run, wasn't it?
Sigh.
Man, could we use The Clash right now, or what? White, (and avian), Riot indeed.
Well, at least we have the right not to be killed. That's something. The White Sea/Baltic canal never would have been built if they just killed everybody.
Isn't there a name for people who say one thing and do another?
"Politician"
Lying Kochsuckers?
Fuckwit?
Larry Craig?
"Republican"
I'm guessing the VETO stamp was in the shop for repairs?
This is an incredibly stupid decision, as evidenced by the signing statement. It's basically the POTUS version of "Bush v Gore"
You can't veto a defense bill. Political suicide. Troops/families/flag/homeland/security/mom/applepie/etc.
Yea, I get that.
You can, however, spend some of your political capital to get the amendment taken off the bill before passage. Just a, you know, thought.
Well, finally. Hope and change I can believe in. THIS is why I voted for Barry.
Nobody/Nothing '12.
Come now, there's always the third-party folks from the Socialist Peoples' Front!
Boo, I'm from the People's socialist Front!
Say, who you know who else was in favor of indefinite extraterritorial detention of his citizens… ?
[first Godwinian post of 2012]
John Wayne Gacey?
Kang and Kodos?
Oh, no, wait; they're in favor of indefinite extraterrestrial detention.
Xenu!
I'll take "Famous Scientologists" for $100, Alex!
Are there any other kind?
Word. If you're gonna fleece people, make sure they have money.
Sauron?
Wait, I know!
Abraham Lincoln?
Jehova?
Oh no, I said it!
I don't know why anybody is complaining. I just expect all politicians to be complete sons of bitches, and I have yet to be disappointed.
The terrorists have won. Or better yet, "we" have allowed the terrorists to win.
We IS the terrierists.
OK, sorry to be serious for a moment, but what gets me the most is how Americans do not see, at all, that Al Qaeda beat us more than if they had invaded. We haz lost, we iz lost, and it keeps getting worse.
Also, since you're a small, cute dog, you're offended by the word "terrierists".
I wonder if anyone in Al Qaeda actually came up with this master plan? "All we have to do is destroy some of their buildings & that's it. They'll then pass laws that will shred their own constitution. They say we're trying to destroy their 'freedoms'? Hahaha, they'll just end up destroying their own 'freedoms'!"
If so, you have to admit it's a genius plan. It seems like it may have worked.
To paraphrase Sun Tzu, it's known as provoking an arrogant, warmongering bully to do some crazy, evil, twisted shit, also.
Obama will never misuse this sort of thing. When the next Dubya is elected, complete with Cheney clone, they'll have to boot Castro's ass off the island to make room for the additions. That and Utah will be a popular destination for people who don't know where they're going, how long they're staying, and what the hell they did to deserve winding up in Utah forever. Hasta La Vista Habeus Corpus!
Wouldn't mind winding up in Utah, except for all the Utahns.
And Utah Philips is dead, Man!
Crap, when I was clicking on the reply button, your profile embiggened and I inadvertently became a follower. Sorry…
Nobody deserves being stuck in Utah for any length of time, much less 'forever.' If they'd tried to put up OBL there the courts would've ruled it "cruel and unusual."
Nothing but jello, no coffee, no booze, just jello man, just jello! Don't get off the boat man! Fucking jello, fucking jello, I just wanted some mangoes man, fucking jello. (Transcript of first detainee at Camp Joseph Smith re-education and detention center for people behaving suspiciously, Wendover, Utah)
"That and Utah will be a popular destination for people who don't know where they're going, how long they're staying, and what the hell they did to deserve winding up in Utah forever."
I think you're talking about everyone in Utah who is not Mormon.
Some citizens are more Corporate – and Equal – than others.
I'm all in favor of this law if it is used to Gitmo all Wall Streeters and Republican House members.
And Carl Levin.
Whither the Senate? Why only the House members?
Nothing to worry about, this will never get past the Supreme Court…
Hahahahaha, sometimes I crack myself up.
Citizens United. In detention. In definitely. In communicado.
I would like to give Obama credit for playing the n-level chess game with this, signing a bill that he knew would be challenged in court, hopefully taking long enough to reach SCOTUS that a more liberal justice will have been appointed in the meantime, such that this legislation would be forever struck down and never brought up again.
Now excuse me while my talking unicorn bartender serves me up another martini.
Those horns come in handy for spearing the olives don't they? It's how they shake them with their tail and fart tropical floral scent with glitter that amazes me. Selling me on striking down the fourth amendment is so easy when you're distracted by flowers and glitter and a well shaken drink.
On Magic Rocks, with a cumulus-cloud-stuffed olive?
"I would like to give Obama credit for playing the n-level chess game with this, signing a bill that he knew would be challenged in court, hopefully taking long enough to reach SCOTUS that a more liberal justice will have been appointed"
*slapping knee and howling with laughter*
Oh, mem, you kill me!
*wiping tear from eye*
Seriously, though, we're fucked, right?
Even a Constitutional Law Professor knows how and when to totally ignore the Constitution to do whatever the fuck he wants.
For Frrrrrrrredom!
Nobel Peace Prize and indefinite detention without habeus corpus. Compare and contrast.
It's been decades since the Nobel Prize committee hasn't been more cynical than we are.
America: a Country of Laws, not men (unless the President writes a note).
Does this mean we can indefinitely detain repubs, neo-cons, right-wingers, Tea Partiers and other stupid fucking people we simply do not like? Yes? OK, I'm good with this wonderful new law.
translation: "C'mon squeal! Squeal louder! Squeal like a pig."
Since it is law now, can we start with Bush and Cheney?
Good point. I don't even mind if it's done secretly and I don't know about it. That way the Prez can save himself some embarrassment for having taken this long to get those war criminals.
Look. How do you expect to preserve our precious freedoms if we don't surrender our precious freedoms?
Hope this does not end up the way Clinton signing off on all that bank deregulation ended up, in a huge clusterfuck of bad. Why cant they ever use the VETO when we really need it?
I've seen enough. Fuck 'em all.
Ot, but it's happened – there's now a term for the Santorum Surge:
Santorumentum.
I thought the best way to describe surging santorum was "frothy septic-tank-like mess".
So, Santorum is now in the public's eye?
Yes, brown eye.
I thought Santorum Surge was anal backpressure experienced during Man on Dog sex.
Or a gay orgy that went horribly, horribly wrong.
So the same wingnuts who are convinced with zero evidence that Obama is plotting to have the UN confiscate their guns, aren't at all concerned that he now has the power to "disappear" them into military detention without trial?
It's not like they'd trust Romney with this power either, as a Mormon Socialist is only marginally preferable to a Kenyan Marxist. Fear of Brown trumps all, I guess.
First they came for the Muslims, and I said nothing as I was busy building a fence to keep out the Mexicans.
Then they came for the Mexicans and I said nothing as I was busy keeping the Blacks from voting.
Then they came for the Blacks and I said nothing as I was busy attending a Tea Party rally.
Then they came for the Tea Party and I said "hold on buddy, I'm upholding the constitution", and they apologized and went to find some Hippies to pepper spray.
When the law break in, how ya gonna go?
in the era of protest my money's on the guns of brixton.
Geez, don't get your panties in a twist. We'll all be safe in our brand spanking new hamlets!
It's probably a good thing that I can't afford to travel outside the country because then I'd have to admit (or people will know me by my crappy accent) that I'm American and then I'd want to crawl under the nearest fucking rock and hide. I've spent so many of my adult years embarrassed by this nation in the way so many people are embarrassed by their families. Need to work on improving my fake New Zealand accent if I want to go anywhere.
Just tell people you're from Canada. Easier than a Kiwi accent, eh.
The Canadians are onto us, btw.
The Euros were onto us in the 70's, what with all the USAmericans and their Maple Leaf flags sewn onto their backpacks, stinking up all the hostels and such.
I have found that, since I only speak English, that my options are very limited. If I had known, 20 years ago when I was in high school, how crappy things would become I would have kept my head down, got better grades, learned a 2nd language and set things up nicely so that I could eventually move out of this country.
This a completely snark-free comment.
…I spent my new years day looking at my reflection in the water of my toilet! I think I just re-defined the meaning of "black-out drunk"!
Ripple. How Zen.
word
Haven't seen you here for awhile, darlin'. How many days did that bender last??
Well, to ring in this year, probably not long enough.
"the safety, security, and liberty of the American people"
You know how what's his face said, "When I hear the word 'culture', I reach for my revolver"?
When I hear the word "liberty", I know some right-wing asshole is about to do something flagrantly unconstitutional. I don't think I've been wrong yet.
Chains we can believe in.
oh, so thats what he was saying, I need to get my ear wax removed sometime soon
Come on, guys…this so-called "Death Star" the Empire is building is just a precaution. They'd never actually use it to blow up a whole planet!
That cunt.
New TP at the White House
Left behind by the previous occupant?
And it's the worst, it's only 1-ply.
And parchment, too, also.
It's snowing here in Ohio, and it's a Federal holiday, technically. Does that mean I should plan on waiting until at least tomorrow or Wednesday to be rounded up? I'd like to get my affairs in order.
If you'd have listened to Martha Stewart, your affairs would already be in order. You didn't see her asking for extra time to prepare for the pokey.
Poor Barry. He wants to be Teddy Roosevelt, but is starting to act like Mitt Romney.
Sheesh!
One day — ONE DAY — into 2012, and my hope that it would be less crappy than 2011 is shown up as the pitiful delusion that it is.
Thanks a fuckload, Barry, you putz! I'm sure this horseshit is *way* more important than creating jobs, fixing the economy, saving health care, saving Social Security, reining in the banks and Wall Street's reign of terror, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
Oh, and also, I'm done defending BO. The next time somebody calls him a socialist (which you *know* they will) or what-not, I'm just going to hum a little tune while filing my nails. And I'm not going to the prom with him, either!
Ultimately, I decided to sign this bill not only because of the critically important services it provides for the troooooooops! and their families and the admittedly illegal Bush detention regime it authorizes (too bad, but he was a two-termer), but also because the Republican Congress will say mean, nasty, and ugly things about me, and this is an election year, bitches. Moving forward, my Administration needs to get re-elected and so I will interpret and implement the provisions described below in a manner that best preserves my chances in November. After that, our safety depends upon whether the GOP lets me do anything at all; and so, your rights are now dangling by a thread. Sorry, bitches, but that's just life in the Tea Party's America.
If that troubles you, I'd suggest a move to Yellowknife, Canada; Bergen, Norway, or the Marlboro Region of New Zealand.
How about Iceland? They basically kicked out their entire government for playing a poker game with UK banks using the country's money for chips (see the Icesave scandal) and are now rewriting the national constitution so it can't happen again. And their prime minister is a gay-married lesbian. And their cops don't carry guns. And they have no standing army…. now, if you can stand winters with 3 hours of weak sunlight and a downtown which is populated by drunken Nirvana-member lookalikes, Reykjavik is a pretty awesome place.
björk björk björk!
My bags are packed, I'm ready to go! The question is, will they have me?
pfeu. you people. just don't do anything wrong.
So I was talking about this to my boss, a Muslim immigrant, the other day, and he was bemoaning the loss of American values that attracted him to this country in the first place.I was embarrassed that I couldn't tell him it would be all right, because it won't. Just throwing that out there.
"So I was talking about this to my boss, a Muslim immigrant"
The fact that your boss is not only an immigrant, but a MUSLIM immigrant, proves that THOSE PEOPLE are taking over and we need to imprison even more citizens FOR FREEDUMB!!!!!!
"Have you every talked to a Muslim?" = the new opening question from the FBI guys paying you a little visit.
Oh, thank Jeebus! When I finally got onto Wonkette this day I am glad that we're only looking at trivial stuff, like Hopey's transmogrification into Bush III, indefinite detentions, destruction of the Constitution, and turning Blackwater into the latest version of the SS. I was afraid that someone would be live-blogging the Rose Bowl Parade. Al Roker is a fucking dork. I offer him as the first candidate for enjoying unlimited freedum in some Utah canyon.
Roker/Bachmann 2012
Roker/Formerly-Known-As-Roker's Fat 2012!
Strangely enough, heavily-armed Patriots have so far failed to take the cue from the latest Fed-killing hero to crop up. This time it was a rugged individualist who killed a park ranger who tried to infringe on his freedom to drive without tire chains.
Sometimes I start to think that these people aren't serious about their second-amendment remedies.
But it's legal to carry loaded weapons into national parks, so…
It looks like the Fed-killing hero was just found dead in the park. Whether it was due to him exercising his Second Amendment rights on himself remains to be seen.
And now it's time to play out the inevitable explanation that he was actually a liberal, and that the whole thing is just a setup to make right-wingers who have wet dreams about shedding the blood of tyrants look bad, somehow.
It appears that US Fish and Wildlife can discontinue that Lone Wolf Reintroduction program now. The species is finally getting a toehold.
Apparently, the species is actually getting a toe tag.
"the whole thing is just a setup to make right-wingers who have wet dreams about shedding the blood of tyrants look bad, somehow"
Hawkeye Pierce: We were just trying to make you look foolish, Frank.
Frank Burns [highly indignant]: Well, I don't need your help!
Worse than librul, I hear he was a godless heathen socialist Canadian!
pfft. i'm sure it's just another isolated incident.
It's just as well because I wouldn't want to be a citizen of a country that wouldn't secretly detain me indefinitely without a trial..
Good policy, bad policy, who cares the public is buying the bullshit that this will only be used on ragheads and other undesireables. It would never be used on corn syrup consuming fat bastard freedumb loving Americans who vote republican.
Once they figure out that those corn-fed bovines are easier to catch than skinny Muslins, the game is up. Head 'em up, move 'em out. Into the stockyards. Soylent Green anyone?
"It would never be used on corn syrup consuming fat bastard freedumb loving Americans who vote republican."
*looks around slyly*
Uh, yeah… never… that's the ticket…
I, for one, want sparkly ones.
I'm in Arizona, so I'll get a pink one. But the joke's on Sheriff Joe because I look good in pink.
Oh, Hussein didn't really have reservations. He wanted the language for indefinite detention. IOW he lies.
http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2012/01/obama-exp…
Well, of course we're Fucked. Look on the bright side, though…we've been Fucked ever since Bush V.Gore installed a malleable simpleton surrounded with truly evil men into office and Loki the Trickster God dumped 9/11/2001 into their laps for fun.
The American National Security state has been on a glide path ever since then and I think that no matter who's in office Certain Things Must Be Done. No matter that the individual most responsible for those horrible attacks is dead and his supporting organization is all but destroyed now, we absolutely must repeal the Magna Charta. For Freedom.
I feel charitable today, so I'm going to pretend that Barry's heart's in the right place and he's just fighting a rearguard action in office and President Palin (shudder) would be far worse.
I do think that instead of "Hail to the Chief", we should just have the Marine Band play Pink Floyd's "Welcome to the Machine" from now on.
Interestingly and off-topically, I watched Thor this weekend. I mean, Loki was an asshole, but not even he would have fucked our shit up like that.
OK, carry on.
Good point. I don't think Raven would be up to that either, but I could see Coyote pulling it off, pinning the job on Loki & crouching back on his haunches to watch the fun.
None of them, Katie.
Bill of Rights
Rest in Peace
December 15, 1791 – December 31, 2011
"To demonstrate that he, a former Constitutional law professor, still
*felt at least a little bad*
about signing an unconstitutional bill into law, he also added a
*contrite*
signing statement"
If all the handsome and charming gentlemen on Wonkette will forgive me for mentioning this…
There used to be a series of jokes along the lines of, "Why dogs are better than men", one of which was, "When a dog does something wrong, he feels guilty about it".
This reminds me of that, and I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing.
As someone very experienced in the ways of Dogs and (to a lesser extent) the ways of Men I know several things:
1. Dogs cannot experience guilt. That would require abstract thinking and their brains are not wired that way. What we see and interpret as "guilty" behavior is a fear-and-submission posture evolved for pack society communication.
2. Politicians cannot experience guilt. That would require an informed electorate and a functional Media environment. Their jobs are not wired that way. What we see and interpret as "guilty" behavior is a cover-my-ass posture adapted from political consultants.
In sum, you are correct and it really isn't a good thing.
You know who else promised to relinquish emergency powers after a crisis, real or assumed?
I don't see exactly how this goes back on anything he said, except that what he considers "appropriate" and what we do don't match up to say the very least. Truth is, he was already hedging as a candidate. There is no "appropriate legal regime" beyond what is set out in the Constitution. Anything he said beyond that is obviously an admission to his plan all along to continue the tradition of illegal, unconstitutional shit, but wrap it in a pretty bow.
I get tired of this idea that he portrayed himself as something other than he wasn't. On the issue of liberty, any candidate that told you anything other than that he or she would not trade liberty for security was telling you that they would break the law. Period. On this particular issue, only Paul and Kuchinich of the mainstream candidates have ever promised that.
oh, can I add a note to Hillary? Remember when both you and Barry promised 'Fair Trade", the re-negotiation of NAFTA, CAFTA, et al, during your "political campaigns"?
And all we got – with both of you in the highest office in the land- was 3 more 'FREE trade' deals that only profit Multinational corporations?
Fuck both of U. U suck.
*giggles flirtatiously*
Ooh, guilty as charged!
*looks around nervously at sound of door being kicked in*
Oops.
I have never met a Scientologist in all my life. They opened a center here a couple of years & it closed within a year. Even people from the weathly west end of Richmond (represented by guess who? Cantor, of course!) didn't buy into that shit.
Xenu is a tad in conflict with Jeebus. Don't most people in Richmond belong to that club, at least superficially?
Ya know, that was pretty hawt until your ex showed up…
Very superficially. I've lived here for over ten years & have heard lots of juicy rumors that disprove the notion that Virginia conservatives care about Jesus, "family values", and live clean-cut wholesome lives.
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