Early-onset dementia victim Rick Perry managed to flub a basic question in his only known area of expertise, “gay stuff,” after a town hall participant asked him to explain how he manages to reconcile his constant, vapid harping about limited government with his public opposition as Texas governor to the 2003 Supreme Court case that ruled same-sex anti-sodomy laws an unconstitutional intrusion of government — an opposition that Rick Perry has evidently forgotten about. His response is a bewildered stare off into space as he repeats a few words, and if you look hard you can almost see the thought bubble forming over the top of his head reading, “Shit, gay sex is legal now?”
That lasts for a few seconds before his wires pick up an EARTH TO RICK PERRY signal from the crowd, and he moves into autopilot with a rant about government spending. As usual, however, the mean reporters can’t just let it go.
From ABC News:
Asked by Ken Herman, a columnist with the Austin American Statesman, for clarification on whether he knew what the case concerned, Perry responded, “I’m not taking the bar exam…I don’t know what a lot of legal cases involve.”
When told that the Supreme Court case struck down the Texas sodomy law, Perry said, “My position on traditional marriage is clear and I don’t know need a law. I don’t need a federal law case to explain it to me.”
The Texas governor referenced Lawrence v. Texas in his 2010 book Fed Up!, calling it one of the court cases in which “Texans have a different view of the world than do the nine oligarchs in robes.”
That’s right, y’all. There’s only allowed to be one oligarch, and he only gets to wear fancy gay cowboy boots, and be named Rick Perry. [ABC News]
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Perry should have deferred the question to his pal Marcus Bachmannn.
I understand that Santorum is all over sodomy.
Marcus's response (to anything, actually): "Super! Thanks for asking!"
it also struck down some pretty fun hetero sex stuff.
dammit- struck dow the OPPOSITION to some fun hetero sex stuff. Mainly the mouth stuff, since that's basically the only part I'm good at.
It's okay, I'm opposed to opposition.
Struck up, rather
"Knowledge? We don't need no stinking Knowledge!"
"Rick Perry Pleads Stupidity In Response To Question About Gay Sex"
However, Perry is an expert when comes to sex with fuzzy quadrupeds.
Where have I heard the, "…Gotchya question…" thing before….?
Aaauurrrgh!! NOOoooo!!
"Taking the Fifth": Refusal to self-incriminate.
"Taking the Perry": Refusal to self-incriminate (that you are a moron).
He could have gone with a "straights" understanding of sex (sodomy) :
"Well, if you as an American, want to wriggle around in excrement, that's your deal."
http://wonkette.com/?s=Nancy+Elliott
The Texas governor referenced Lawrence v. Texas in his 2010 book Fed Up!
I'm going to refer to the legal case that sums up Rick's campaign-
Smelt It v. Dealt It.
The Texas governor referenced Lawrence v. Texas in his 2010 book Fed Up!
The Governor cannot be expected to read a book he wrote, for crying out loud. He's a busy man, etc.
The Governor cannot be expected to write a book he wrote.
My head hurts.
Next thing people might expect him to remember major Supreme Court decisions his state lost while he's been governor.
Anyone who thinks Rocket Science Rick wrote the phrase "nine oligarchs in robes" is in serious need of a helping of Nigerian Prince emails.
One Tinker's Heck?
Is that a new position involving fancy gay cowboy boots and hair?
Likely he's hammered and having a ball with his peen.
Tink, tink, tink,
fap, fap, faptap, tap, tapWhat could be more gay than naming your boots, Gubbnuh Goodhair? Unless it's writing "Come and take it" on the right boot, too.
Naming the matching banana hammock.
He also had the boot maker brand one of them "LEFT" and another "RIGHT" so he could figure out which foot to put them on.
They also put "This side up" on the heels, so in case he decides he needs to poor piss out of them.
They're his "fuck me" boots.
Seems that at one point in his life he knew there were 9 Supremes, at least. I think if we can trace back to when he forgot that fact, we might begin to get to the bottom of his wingtardization.
That's Perry all right — a bottom wingtard.
"…the problem in this country is spending in Washington, D.C., it’s not some Supreme Court case.”
Gee, Rick, maybe one way for the government to cut its costs would be to stop trying to enforce the anti – sodomy laws that were overturned by the Lawrence v Texas ruling?
Moran.
Someone who doesn't think he needs to know the law is exactly who we want deciding whether to sign or veto new laws, and to enforce the laws of the nation.
Gawd Soros, you think Perry has time to open the US Constitution and read up on the job description for President of the United States? For shame.
He probably learned from his predecessor as Texas Governor that the President does Presidentin' stuff, and whatever the VP tell 'im to. Bomb peoples too.
According to his Iowa Campaign Manager, Rick carries a copy of the Constitution in his shirt pocket, so he understands it quite well.
And he often uses it to wipe off the flop sweat.
His position is clear, and he doesn't need a Consitution to explain it.
He's out of his element. Back in Texas, when he gets a question he doesn't know the answer to, he just takes out his gun and starts shooting it into the air.
Sounds about right.
Stupid is stupid. If you're gonna hate the gheyz ya'll should know them cases that gave them gheyz the ghey right to bugger one another…is this guys name Rick or Dumbfuck?
He's got a Texas-sized case of CRS:
Can't remember shit.
Oh, I guess it's obvious it wouldn't mean Congressional Research Services to him.
Needs moar Filipino porn stars.
Honestly, what doesn't?
Right? I wish they had them in church.
Ghey sex? In Texas we call it ass hammering. Hell that's alright! Thats how we spent them cold nights up to Niggerhead. Jest us shit kickers, mah happy happy donors, a gallon a lube and a two hundred dollar Anal Intruder Party Kit.
Vote Perry for President.
… and an Oath Keepers DVD called Tranny Hunter.
STATES' RIGHTS. Only states have the right to regulate awesome sex. Texas- missionary or nothing! I think it's on their flag.
Jesus fucking Christ, it's a sad day when the Wonkettariat has to be the ones to answer Rick Perry's questions for him.
Oops!
Ghey. They vote. Good luck, Mr. "I hate the Federal Gubbmint, but I aim to run the fukkin' thang, y'all!" "PeewwPewww"!
I thought "Oligarchs in Robes" was a glam rock band that Rick really, really liked.
I'd love to hear him try to spell it.
He probably mixed up sodomy with lobotomy. That's a real pretty ear you got there.
I once mixed them up with a girlfriend, and, boy, she never did forgive me.
Uh oh! Did she give you "the dolphin"? Eh eh, eh eh…
Shorter Perry: I can't even think about cornholing anonymous male prostitutes in cheap and darkened hotel rooms with this 15 trillion dollar debt hanging over my head.
I heard Perry is separating from Russel Brand. Brand couldn't take all the campaigning in Iowa. He's not going to win anyway, so he may as well go back to singing.
"Mr Perry, what time do you have?"
"Um….Uhhhhh. I'm not…..(looks about in confusion)…See….um…aaaaaa. Lower taxes for job creators."
Now I'm confused. I can only process web postings in "listicle" form now.
Without even hitting the play button on the clip you can already see the hamster wheel in Perry's head spinning, spinning, and spinning.
I'll pass the obvious joke about "gaining traction" there…
All I can see is a forzen status bar that reads "buffering."
That little digression about government spending is the same answer Rick gives when asked about foreign policy, too. It's also his answer to every question about domestic policy, monetary policy, what he wants for dinner, the names of his pets, and the infield fly rule. It's like the man has nothing but sodomy on the brain all the time.
He could use Herman Cain's "999" catch-all if there weren't so many damned 9s in it.
You left off being offside in soccer.
They must put somthing in the water in the Texas governor's mansion to make the governers more stupider.
Yes. Bourbon.
Isn't it time for it to burn down again?
More stupider than who? Or than they already are? Running for Gubner of the cowfukkin state makes you pretty fucking stupid before you start…
Quite a steep slide from Richards, for sure. Probably a record.
You can actually see him flip through his mental index cards of Rethuglican
liestalking points and come up blank… and then remember the all-important "Ignore the Question, Get Out Of Jail Free, Regurgitate Any Random RethuglicanLieTalking Point."*snf* I miss Tim Russert.
So Perry now isn't sure if he might be endorsing Santorum or not?
Ricky is so far back in the closet, he can see Narnia.
“Texans have a different view of the world than do the nine oligarchs in robes.”
"Although I do like a view of some of those guys in robes. If you know what I mean… heh… yeah Buddy."
Nine oligarchs in robes, bent on world domination – Nazgul!
Of all the clowns juggling around Iowa right now, you'd think Perry would be the one to have the best command of gay sex issues.
That depends – does Michele have Marcus with her?
I dunno, but I bet Marcus doesn't walk around with used condoms in his pocket.
Memo to Perry's handlers/ coaches/ hand-holders: "Quit letting Harold sniff the purple crayons."
You can't "cure" stupid. There is no Bachmann Clinic for that.
This man is as qualified to be President as the chimp used by American Tourister in their luggage commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2ZeIoLz8FE
Cheetah died the other day, you insensitive clod.
What does it say about Rick Perry that he makes Bush look like the "smart" Republican governor of Texas?
It says that the bar had been set very low and that Perry mistook a high jumping competition for a limbo contest.
The only thing that really disturbs me about Perry forgetting what Lawrence v. Texas was that he missed a golden opportunity to have his own internal inconsistency (of both wanting smaller government and having government dictate private behavior) blow his mind, like Captain Kirk using a logical trap to destroy an alien computer.
Problem is, Rick Perry's too dumb for a logic bomb:
GLaDOS: Hey Moron!
WheatleyRick Perry: Oh, Hello.GLaDOS: Alright, Paradox time.
GLaDOS: [slowly and deliberately] This. Sentence. Is. FALSE.
[to herself]
GLaDOS: Don't think about it, don't think about it…
WheatleyRick Perry: Um… "TRUE" I'll go with true. There, that was easy. To be honest, I might have heard that one beforeGLaDOS: It's a paradox! There IS no answer.
Dood, this is the "Secede from the US" guy who's running for POTUS; the "States Rights" guy who's taking the State of Virginia to Federal court to FORCE them to put him on the ballot. I think he might already be seriously, uh, impaired in the whole irony/logic bomb end of things.
I feel the need to point out that pleading stupidity is the only possible defence Rick Perry has on any subject.
As usual, Wonkette and the MSM take the quote totally out of context. As Perry went on to say "How can anything that feels that good not be illegal?"
Clearly Perry's gay sex knowings need more Santorum.
Do you think he will even know when his campaign is over or what it was?, or will he return to the Governors mansion like a child returning from summer camp.
It wouldn't surprise me if he keeps campaigning for President until Feb. 2013.
A petulant child, pissed off that the mean counselors didn't let him have his own way the every minute of the summer.
It's really going to suck when Rick has to come back to Austin. We've really enjoyed not listening to his bravado and bullshit.
If he really believed in what he was saying, he would voluntarily give back the state salary he took while he was campaigning for Fedrul Preznit and not attending to state bidness.
Thanks though, he's really filled the "completely incompetent" void left by Herman Cain.
For purely scientific reasons, I'd like to see the result of cross breeding Bachmann with Perry. Then again, I tend to slow down and stare at car crashes.
Santorum would be the result of breeding Rick Perry and Marcus Bachmann.
"For purely scientific reasons…"
There really couldn't be any other reason.
No need. I'll just call that guy I know in the traveling freak show and find out.
Perry is a medical case study in understanding anatomy and physiology, for he demonstrates every day the noise that an asshole makes when it is disconnected from a brain. That short video is Exhibit One. There are thousands of Exhibit Ones.
Perry: "Wait a darn tootin second! You sayin that it's LEGAL for a man to put his manhood inside the buttocks of another man? But the best part of puttin it in the butt was knowin it was so wrong. Oh so wrong. And here I thought I was getting away wif somethin all along, oh yeah. Legal? Now where's the fun in that?"
Is it just me, or does the current crop of Republiklan poo-flingers seem extra ragey this election cycle when questioned about their hypocritical stands on social issues or failure to grasp the basics of the Constitution?
a/k/a "gotcha" questions.
Palin gave them the idea that they didn't have to answer questions; they could get votes with a really good pageant strut.
And now, it seems, we will need some sort of sliding scale, indicating GRADATIONS of stupid.
AN:
What we got right through here is Code ORANGE!
Perry done slud right off the enda that scale.
Had you in mind something like the Richter scale, that measures how much energy (stupid) was actually released, or the Mercalli scale, that quantifies what it felt like on the receiving end (perceived energy, or apparent stupidity). For instance, anything that issues from the goppy lower primates is, of course, an Amdaman Quake on the actual stupidity released, but to the old white anger bears of the right is just a heavy truck passing two blocks away on the Mercalli perceived cretinosity scale…
Teh stoopid level is at high alert with this one.
Going through Perry's mind: Darn, we legalized it? It was so much more EXCITING when it was illegal!
According to one source, bestiality is legal to some extent in Texas…
I am not taking the bar exam, and I have never been to the gay bar that people say they have seen me in. NEXT QUESTION PLEASE.
Good Lord! Can you imagine the feeling having this joker deciding your plea for clemency?
I'd rather have a seven-year old flip a coin.
You want Bachmann then. She has three seven-year olds.
And plenty of coin from a variety of soshalist federal programs.
And she always appears about ready to flip. Out.
Turning coin tricks. What we've been reduced to.
He always leaves me feeling like I've just eaten a dirt sandwich.
The lamestream media and its "gotcha" questions has me so riled up. Why can't we put them on a big airbus and ship them to Syria, to stand in between the protestors and the gun toting thugs of the dictator in power there? Never was there a man more ready to be President. He will simply sell all the big offices and give the gomment contracts to all his biggest contributors/ supporters, like he did in Texas. We won't have gridlock any more, because everyone in power will be on a well-greased payroll.
Hell, intelligent candidates(or the republican equivalent of it these days) can't explain that sort of thing, why would any rational human expect someone as intellectually hobbled as Perry to have some sort of nicely prepackaged, plausible defense for it? The man can barely make it through a canned speech without fucking it up, let alone answer questions on the fly. George Bush is brilliant by comparison, and he damn near died choking on a fucking pretzel. Rick would have to devote the rest of his life to study to get to that exalted height of intellectual processing.
In fairness, I think he panicked because he thought the questioner was maybe going to trot out the video from the backroom of Oilcan Harry's from New Year's Eve 2009.
He is no expert as he is always catching, and can't see a thing.
S;
I guess the view never changes when you're always face down in the pillow, huh?
It's not gay if you can't see the other dude!
See, I'm not a lawyer either, or even a simple country Hyper-Chicken, so I don't remember every court case ever either, but I sure as hell remember the times that it's my ass that's been sued.
Futurama reference FTW.
I just referenced, in three consecutive posts, Portal 2, Futurama, and, obliquely, Roman History.
Aw yeah, I'm a colossal nerd.
That makes me an equally colossal one for remembering. You do not want to watch the Simpsons or Family Guy with me. I repeat the jokes while or before they tell them on the show. lol
tinker's heck! More gotcha questions from the lamestream town hall questioners. Perry/Palin for 2012 Porn awards!
I hear he wins the bareback competition every year at the Texas State Fair after-hours party.
I'm a bit tired of the "Perry-is-gay" jokes. At this point, I prefer to think that Perry was having sex with men but was too stupid to realize that it wasn't manly-man sex that involved a woman.
"oligarchs"
slow down there Hemmingway
"His response is a bewildered stare off into space as he repeats a few words…"
Trying to steal Sarah Palin's style isn't going to help…probably….maybe. Crap, he could be onto something here.
Oh, but 9 oligarchs are just fine when they give a greedy, unprincipled, warmongering, slow witted Texas governor the presidency, right?
What a maroon.
"…and if you look hard you can almost see the thought bubble forming over the top of his head reading, “Shit, gay sex is legal now?”
Second thought bubble, "Hot Dam! "
Rick Perry pleads Stupidity…
Ah, the old "George W. Bush" defense…
Little Ricky fared no better when asked to summarize the case of Lawrence v. Arabia.
It's been said over and over, but like all texans it takes a few times..
Even George W. Bush thought this man was stupid.
And for once, he was right.
My God. He's a babbling, blithering idiot.
I wish Molly Ivins were here to see this.
Zombie Molly Ivins responds: "Didn't I already warn y'all about this sorta stupid shit ?!"
Perry's position on traditional marriage is that it should involve lots of illegal gay sodomy.
Cutting spending? My God what an insightful mind. A thinker, who knew? And pushing the envelope, too. What a risky stance. That does it, I'm a Perry Man!
He's just confused about what putting in a new lawn has to do with ghey sex.
"I don't dislike goverment, I just want government that works."
That's a damned lie. More than even many other campaigns, his has been based on the blind hate of modern civilization and organization. I don't even care about the rest of what he said; he's a damned liar. He's as dihonest as he is stupid.
Come on, you guys. Bein' an unapologetic bigot is hard, y'all.
If you really want to blow his mind, mention that the incident that led to the case involved an interracial gay couple. I'm still convinced that was the reason Strom Thurmond died the day after SCOTUS handed down its decision.
Symptomatic of GOP Theocratic Party-think: Don't need no fuckin' laws, just the fuckin' Bai-bull!
Barebacked by $15T? Size queen much, Rick?
Too stupid, do not like. No wonder Texas was burning up.
"Who said robes are dresses?" asks the Pope.
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