flotus files

Michelle Obama Celebrates 2011 With One Last Fancy Clothes Scandal

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That's MRS. Flotus to you...The end of the year (world?) can be a good time to reflect on all of the happy times of the last 12 months, like gym sessions with Desmond Tutu, victories in world domination, and whatever is actually going on in this photo. Perhaps it is also an appropriate time to consider the past year’s mistakes and contemplate lessons learned. Not for our FLOTUS, of course, because she is too good for that second thing. She is pretty pleased with 2011 and has decided to close out the year the best way she knows how: in fancy clothes, on an island far away from most of the poor people.

It wouldn’t be a vacation without a Michelle Obama wardrobe controversy! Let us see what we have this time:

Michelle Obama successfully managed to rile U.S. taxpayers with her lavish $4m family jaunt to Hawaii this Christmas.

But it seems her expensive taste has not stopped there, as her vacation wardrobe has proved to be equally lavish.

Though the First Lady has only been spotted on a couple of occasions since arriving in Kailua, Oahu, some sartorial analysis of her fashion choices has revealed that her outfits have been consistently high-end.

There is nothing that can ruin the holidays for this country quite like a “high-end” FLOTUS. America prefers its FLOTUS to be like its Christmas gifts: picked up off the floor of a Kohl’s Department Store bathroom. America certainly does not want Michelle Obama wearing skirts and dresses that allegedly cost $2,000. In poor people terms, that’s like a thousand lottery tickets!

Many consider Mrs Obama’s penchant for expensive fashion labels at odds with her position as an everywoman who identifies with the average woman.

One comment on the Naked DC site read: ‘She claims to be a champion of the poor and a fellow bargain shopper, but yet, here she is, sporting a dress that no unemployed American can afford.’

That is not entirely Michelle Obama’s fault. She was going to spend the whole week in the unemployed American uniform (Pajama Jeans and a Slanket) but the Hawaii air is just a bit too humid for that. [Daily Mail]

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About the author

Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

View all articles by Blair Burke

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • SorosBot

    "Michelle Obama successfully managed to rile U.S. taxpayers with her lavish $4m family jaunt to Hawaii this Christmas."

    Really? I hadn't heard of that before, and now that I have I'm not riled because it's none of my fucking business. But wait, I'm not a racist Daily Mail reader who thinks black people shouldn't be allowed to have nice things.

    • DaRooster

      They should have a nice crack pipe. I'm sure they would agree to that.

    • ThundercatHo

      The DM readers would agree that black people should have a nice smile and some good dance moves.

    • V572 the Merciless

      Maybe a nice Gibson banjo, and some robes in which to sing spirituals, but that's it.

      • swordfis

        Gibson banjo? Washtub strung with pork intestines.

        • tessiee

          "Washtub strung with pork intestines."

          The pork intestines that they're not using for chitlins, I trust.

      • SorosBot

        They'll also let black people have nice balls of various types to run around with for white people's amusement; the important thing is that they are entertaining white folks.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Can you think of any *other* reason they might be allowed to exist?

          • tessiee

            Cleaning whitefolks' dirty houses?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Oh, right, right. I'm always forgetting *some*thing.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        I thought you said "ropes," but then I realized "robes" works just as well.

    • chicken_thief

      "…her lavish $4m family jaunt to Hawaii…"

      That's an absolute bargain compared to the $200M or whatever price tag Shelz came up with for the India trip.

      Needz moar over-the-top exaggeration!!!

    • Mojopo

      Every time this comes up I wish Michelle Obama would stuff her hair in a net, rent a maid’s uniform and start batting rocks in the Daily Mail’s window with a toilet brush.

      “How you like me know, motherfucker!” CRASH!

    • newsbird

      If it's none of your hm… biz then you must be one of those people NOT paying any of this excess…. the working people who DO pay taxes are offended by this free spending moocher.

      • SorosBot

        "Free spending moocher?" Really? That's ridiculous. Oh and your racism is showing, asshat.

  • Realbrother

    Real Brother here.

    Its wrong for Racists and Sellouts to argue that by showing poor and oppressed women of color that they can achieve and succeed by embracing their Black Race, Culture and Men that the First Lady is setting a bad example. The inspiration and hope that is gained from the role model the First Lady presents is priceless.

    TKCAL

    • user-of-owls

      rEAL rACIST HERE.

      Earnestness/Random Capitalization ———————————>

      TIKAL

    • newsbird

      How can a free-loading lying communist be an inspiration What has she ever done that amounts to anything where she or her husband DID NOT receive huge benefits? This MOOCHell is the polar opposite of Mother Theresa.

  • valgal2342

    When is Nancy Reagan going to come to Michelle's defense?

    • chascates

      I think after those Georgia hillbillies moved out of the White House the Reagan reign was referred as a 'return to class'.

    • user-of-owls

      She's always doing that. It's just hard to hear her voice since Michelle carries Nancy's teensy-weensy body around in her First Purse.

    • Tommmcattt

      Or Barbara or Laura Bush? I seem to recall a certain Holiday dress that the First Librarian wore in 1995 costing around $8000.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Complete lie! We all know Laura shopped at Burlington Coat Factory just like real 'merkins.

    • user-of-owls

      She's always doing that. It's just hard to hear her voice since Michelle carries her teensy-weensy body around in her First Purse.

      • tessiee

        "Help me!"

        • user-of-owls

          Just saying "bzzz, bzzz" over and over again is not helping Nancy!

    • Mojopo

      I remember Nancy complaining about the conditions of the cloth napkins at the White House, after the Carter's puttered off in their jalopy with Jethro, Elly May, Granny and a goat. Poor Nancy cut her lip on the damn thing, probably dabbing away a drip of beluga caviar.

  • Barb

    The FLOTUS could learn a lot from America's goodwill ambassador, Sarah Palin. Have you ever seen Sarah wear anything that looked like it didn't come from Goodwill?

    • SorosBot

      Sure – back when she was scamming the RNC to buy all her (and her kids') shit.

      • Barb

        And silken underpants for her husband! Sarah recently tweeted that congress should "stop lining their pockets" This from a woman whose husband is farting through silk, thanks to donations.

    • Mahousu

      That is a talent she has, making that $173K wardrobe look like a $173 one.

    • PuglyDoRight

      At least Michelle and Barack can afford their clothes, instead of grifting donors for their wardrobe.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Goodwill LIBEL!

  • MrFizzy

    I heard Marcus Bachmann loaned Michelle his entire Mu Mu collection for the Hawaii trip.

  • lochnessmonster

    That photo was totally wild!

    • DaRooster

      Wonder if there were any comments on the "incredibly expensive" workout outfit she had on?

    • mayor_quimby

      You can see her thinking "I swear to god I am gonna kick Barry's ass for putting me through this. And put away that damn camera!"

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    First Lady Callista Gingrich (assuming Newt doesn't throw her overboard) will never be caught wearing low end diamonds from Wal-mart. Because she loves her country too much, I assume.

  • pukebot

    one comment from the Wonkette site read, "lick my taint, haters"

    • V572 the Merciless

      Feel the love!

    • Limeylizzie

      Fabulous.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Is this a meme I have missed?

        Lovers are welcome to it, also!

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          Oh never mind, I see that's a line from the quote in the post. However, I will be using "lick my taint, haters!" where appropriate in the future.

          • Limeylizzie

            Good morning, baby, I will be in your city for 2 months as of next week due to reshoots, you will sense my presence.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            Warmest Chicago winter on record?

          • tessiee

            "I will be using "lick my taint, haters!" where appropriate in the future."

            *raises hand hesitantly*
            Um, just a suggestion, here…
            If you exclude the word "haters", it greatly increases the number of appropriate occasions.
            *scuffles toe of shoe on ground*
            I'm just sayin, is all.

          • Loaded_Pants

            "appropriate occasions" = holidays? family reunions? church services?

          • tessiee

            My, but Thanksgiving at your place must be great fun!

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            Other convivial variations include "Lick my love pump" (as popularized by Nigel Tufnel).

    • chicken_thief

      To which Santorum replied "I got that covered."

    • Guppy

      Only one?

    • user-of-owls

      Goad much??

      FROM: Utiliser of Owles
      TOWN: Lower East Hampfordshiretonington-Upon-Bay Leaf

      "Righto chappies! Give the bloody Yanks the wot's wot about the SCANDALOUS waste of private money by their spendthrift First Lady. Impudent little bastards could learn a thing or two about FRUGALITY by watching our beloved Divine Right Taxpayer-Funded Royal Leeches Family, I daresay!"

      • Limeylizzie

        Thanks Owls, I loathe the aristocracy, chinless fucking wonders.

        • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

          Do you loathe the very idea of the aristocracy or do you just, like me, think that Philip is a bit of a daft old racist, but comical in his own way?

          • user-of-owls

            Oh yes, I find Philip quite the comic, if by 'comic' you mean 'parasitic apologist for genocidal culture war and syphilitic pathological xenophobe apartheid lover.' He really tickles my funny bone, that guy.

            And I certainly wouldn't be fervently praying for him to die a lonely, painful death in say, the next 24 hours or so. Oh no, that wouldn't be cricket, would it?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Despise the fucker. Utterly despise him.

          • Limeylizzie

            I loathe the concept of them, but a few I find amusant.

  • edgydrifter

    Shorter Daily Mail: When you see a dark-skinned lady wearing something nice, it's because she stole it. In this case, from America.

    • chascates

      Just like Godfrey Cambridge in Watermelon Man!

      • tessiee

        "I am not a Negro, I am me!!"

  • BarackMyWorld

    What do they expect her to do? Walk around naked…

    …okay, maybe they have a point!

    • DaRooster

      I'll be right back…

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      As wonderful as that would be (for me), they already object to her bare shoulders in church.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        She's got some serious def on those delts. *Cut* muscles, dood. Totally *cut.*

    • tessiee

      ??

      There's that BOINGing sound again…

  • DaRooster

    I don't know that most employed Americans can afford the dresses that The President's Wife wears… and that, frankly, is as it should be… you stupid Fuckers.

    • chascates

      There were posts about Nancy Pelosi staying in a $10,000 a night suite in Hawaii over Christmas. SHE HAS THE FUCKING MONEY! If Rush Limbaugh stayed there it would be just an example of capitalism at work. Or play.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        And most likely a crime scene involving narcotics and underage rentboys.

      • Biff

        El Rushbo did stay in a fancy room in Hawaii, one time.

      • GOPCrusher

        I doubt if Rush Limbaugh has ever had to spend 10,000 a night to stay in a suite in the Dominican Republic.

      • tessiee

        "If Rush Limbaugh stayed there it would be just an example of capitalism at work."

        True story:
        I once wanted to wear an expensive piece of jewelry (specifically, my diamond engagement ring) to a compulsory "party" given by the former Mr. Tessie's employer. Mr. Tessie asked me not to.
        Me: Why not? Mike's wife has a diamond three times the size of mine.
        Mr. Tessie: You don't get it. If *Mike's* wife has a huge diamond, it means Mike is successful. If *you* have a diamond, it means they're paying me too much.

        • DaRooster

          So the life of a "working man".

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            wife of a lurking man

  • Oblios_Cap

    I'd volunteer to do some balloon tricks with the FLOTUS, if you know what I mean…

  • sbj1964

    Hey now,Michele has to look Fly!

  • Indiepalin

    That's why a Gingrich presidency would produce a first lady who is truly a woman of the people.

    • chicken_thief

      Or a Mittens as C-in-C. Nothing says "common folk" like the interest income off of $250M.

    • MrFizzy

      The people of the remote planet known as Plastic-White 3099.

    • NellCote71

      Or beneath the stadium after football practice.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Which people, we'd better not say.

  • Oblios_Cap

    One comment on the Naked DC site read: ‘She claims to be a champion of the poor and a fellow bargain shopper, but yet, here she is, sporting a dress that no unemployed American can afford.’

    Yeah! I claim to be a champion of the homeless and hungry, yet I have a house and eat well. Damn me!

    • DaRooster

      Yeah, and I never bargain shop for decent whiskey.

      • chascates

        What this country needs is a cheap barrel-aged bourbon!

    • Crank_Tango

      So what dress can an unemployed american afford exactly? A burlap sack?

    • tessiee

      OK, so now it's not enough to say that the poor and unemployed aren't *really* poor because they have TVs and cell phones and such. Apparently the latest "in" meme is that the poor and unemployed aren't *really* poor because *anyone* has TVs, cell phones, nice clothes, and such, also.

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    Sounds like the Daily Mail wasn't able to hack the First Lady's cellphone so they decided to make up this bullshit instead (not that anything they publish isn't bullshit), which will likely end up as the basis for Michele Bachmann's next stump speech…

  • SexySmurf

    ‘She claims to be a champion of the poor and a fellow bargain shopper, but yet, here she is, sporting a dress that no unemployed American can afford.’

    Mitt Romney is unemployed, and he could afford it.

    Check and mate.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Ditto on the (thankfully) unemployed Sarah Palin.

    • tessiee

      "Mitt Romney is unemployed, and he could afford it."

      Plus, it would look kickass with his magic lingerie.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Which, I am reliably informed, once was made from broderie anglaise.

  • chascates

    It's all part of the 'Big Lie'! Believe in climate change? Then you can't live in a big house or fly in a plane. Think the poor should be helped? Then you can't eat out or wear expensive clothes.

    Think government is the problem? Then elect idiots.

    • Loaded_Pants

      "Think government is the problem? Then elect idiots."

      American logic since 2010.

      • tessiee

        "Think government is the problem? Then elect idiots."

        American logic since 2000.

        ftfy

  • hollywooddood

    Clothes don't make the woman. I identify with Mrs. Obama because we both have a uterus.

    • swordfis

      Best dressed uterus 2011

  • proudgrampa

    She's young enough and pretty enough to be the President's wife.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      And, dammit, people like her!

  • SenileAgitation

    Uppity has gone upscale!

  • freakishlywrong

    Please, just shut the fuck up. The FLOTUS took a vacation to get away from frivolous hatred and nonsense. Deal with it. Fuckers.

    • DaRooster

      That alone is worth a couple of Mill…

  • SayItWithWookies

    Between wearing cheap discount outfits that demean the office of First Lady and wearing expensive, ritzy sundresses that lord it over the people Michelle is supposed to be championing, it's a wonder she hasn't completely alienated the entire nation.

    And it never stops, either — she's either eating vegetables and exercising, which is the hand of big government telling us how to raise our children, or she's having an indulgent snack, which is the very height of hypocrisy. And then she's wishing people a happy Kwanzaa or Hanukkah or Eid and stomping on Baby Jesus, or else wishing people a Merry Christmas in that horribly poisonous way that everyone can tell is fake. And you know, I still haven't seen her birth certificate…

    • swordfis

      Kenyan baby stomper for FLOTUS!

    • tessiee

      I, personally, resent her toned triceps, although not to the extent of being guilt tripped into joining a gym.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Over on the link, commenter "BarryLIES" offers this assessment:

    why is obama constantly groping his oldest daughter? What’s next for their church attire – bikini bottoms with halter tops? Show some respect you crass bunch of idiots. Cover your shoulders in church.

    I’m so ashamed for America with these morons parading around like peacocks.

    First, imagine if Michelle said something like "I'm ashamed of America". Actually, you don't have to imagine. She did say something vaguely similar and got shit on for it.

    But the "bare shoulders in church" gripe prompted a lot of righteous indignation (and hints that the Obamas aren't Christians, of course). I suspect it's not the bare shoulders but the dark skin they don't want to see in church. And it makes me wonder how most wedding gowns and baptisms are supposed to work.

    • SexySmurf

      Cut them some slack; it must be hard for the Taliban to go from running a country to spending their free time posting grammatically incorrect comments on blogs.

    • chicken_thief

      "why is obama constantly groping his oldest daughter? "

      I haven't heard him deny having sexual relations with her!!! When is the lame stream media going to ask the tough questions?!!! Why do they always give Barry a pass on these issues?!!! He should be creating jerbs, not boffing, as some people might claim, his daughter! Arghhhh! I want my America back!!!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      the dark skin they don't want to see in church.

      White folks reflect more of Jesus' light. It makes it easier to text on your iPhone from the pew.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        White folks give the Baby Jesus Melanoma. That's why black churches, where he prefers to hang out, are more fun.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Plus, rhythm. The first time I went to a black church service, I about died when everybody got up and started dancing and singing. The nuns used to smack our little tushes off for so much as *looking* googly-eyed during Mass.

    • freakishlywrong

      I agree with BarryLies only in the sense that the entire world is watching the Republican primary. And shaming America.

  • freakishlywrong

    She is history's greatest monster.

    • Lascauxcaveman
      • freakishlywrong

        He really must be a monster if he can time travel back to 2007 and destroy the economy. Zombieeezzz lies!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        They really go insane with hatred at the mention of either Barry or the Beauteous Michelle, don't they? I mean, screaming, yelling, poo-flinging, batshit-crazing, wild-eyed wooha-wallah insane.

    • tessiee

      You know who *else* was history's greatest monster?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Darwin? Freud? Liberace?

        • tessiee

          I was thinking Godzilla, but yours are good, too.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        The Id Monster in "Forbidden Planet"?

        • tessiee

          "'Scuse me, but I *really* need to go walkies!"

  • ThundercatHo

    I'll bet those assholes don't realize that the high-end designers give their clothes to our FLOTUS for the same reason that they give/lend clothes to Hollywood starlets – advertising. Maybe they think that she should make her own clothes on Betsy Ross's old sewing machine.

  • ProgressiveInga

    I ♥ FLOTUS.

  • zappadoo76

    Michelle is an attractive and presentable Negress, and as far as I am concerned, my tax dollars are well spent on her upkeep.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I always thought that she was a Nubian Goddess.

      • zappadoo76

        That's our tax dollars at work.

    • Lynne

      Negress? Wow, what century are you from?

      • MozakiBlocks

        Psssstttt…it's called sarcasm…

    • Crank_Tango

      Well-spoken, also.

      • prommie

        yes, so articulate.

      • tessiee

        And she seems quite clean.

    • tessiee

      "Michelle is an attractive and presentable Negress"

      It should also be pointed out that at no time has she been heard to ask the waitstaff for muthafuckin' iced tea.

  • mavenmaven

    Back in Republican days, only J. Edgar Hoover got to wear dresses like that.

  • freakishlywrong

    Remember when the venomous wingtards griped and bitched about all of Dubya's vacations and the Bush's lifestyle? Yeah, me neither.

    #uppity Negros.

    • Rotundo_

      Yes, but you never saw the Bush family do anything either, Barry and family don't hole up in the middle of nowhere where they can control the press and keep them out of sight and mind for weeks at a time and frequently throughout the year. These assholes would bitch if they wore nothing but Sears house brand jeans and tee shirts and cleaned national park bathrooms (they missed a spot!). Fucking losers!

      • tessiee

        "you never saw the Bush family do anything either"

        I never saw them do anything as a family, but I did see a few tabloid pictures of the two drunk slutty daughters falling on their ass in bars.

        I wonder whatever happened to that photographer, anyway?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      I seem to remember paeans of sweaty-moobed praise for Dubya's codpiece and the rolling "cowboy" walk caused by overlarge balls clanging between his spindly, rickety legs, or something. Christ, it was nothing short of disgusting, listening to the likes of David Brooks and Broder and Russ Douthat overslopping their drool cups as they rushed to lave the feet of a pablum-parroting pinhead who could barely manage a single grammatical sentence out of years worth of speeches.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    No snark. From just the few public service announcement-type ads I've seen Michelle doing (re: Veterans services; nutrition education) — and for me seeing the person animated or in action, trumps the still shots and hearsay — it's struck me that rarely in these spots has she bothered to tress up her hair (even my local tv news anchor seems to have spent more time on hers) but keeps it so simple & pulled back. Not uncomfortable in front of a camera but clearly driven by other priorities than being photographed etc. as the "comes-with-the-job" for the moment. I have no doubt this is the least pretentious FLOTUS I've ever witnessed and as odds are she could be the only unpretentious first Lady in my lifetime, I wish her all the bonbons and crumpets and boutique-bestowed frocks &whatnot her heart desires. It seems she knows better than to let it go to her head.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Comes from being the most professionally accomplished FLOTUS in history.

      She was a bigshot attorney and member of several boards, etc. All the rest of the FLOTi (even the good ones) were all first and foremost rich men's wives.

      • Geminisunmars

        Hilary?

        • zappadoo76

          Failed the Bar the first time around. The Rose law firm hired her only after Bill became Arkansas Attorney General, and made her a partner when Bill was Gov. The firm was a big player in the Whitewater scandal. Of course, correlation is not causation.

          • Geminisunmars

            Interesting. I admit to limited knowledge about her, but I still wouldn't classify her as having just been “a rich man's wife”. If Bill became rich and/or powerful I think she played an integral role.

      • tessiee

        "She was a bigshot attorney"

        I don't know exactly how much a bigshot attorney makes, but I'm guessing that it would be enough to buy nice clothes, huh?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Yah.

    • zappadoo76

      She looks better "tressed up." I would like some extra tax dollars to go for that purpose. I would regard it as an entertainment expense.

    • Biff

      Did you see her at the Kennedy Center Honors? Ssssssmokin'!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Well said, mumblety! In many ways, Michelle is the best advertisement for Barack Obama. She's a woman of strength and grace, who looks as if she doesn't suffer fools gladly. One can't help feeling, if SHE loves him, he can't be all that bad.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        Thank you for saying! I came back here prepared to ask y'all to 'pardon my parentheticals', as they make me sound like I"m interrupting myself constantly, but grateful my clumsy prose didn't sidestep my message~

  • Blueb4sunrise

    I think it's like one of those physics paradoxes where, try as you might, it doesn't seem possible to make fun of The Daily Mail.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Poe's Law in action.

  • fartknocker

    Completely OT: Remember the "Women for Cain" website? Now we have "Pets with Newt" as the new GOP brainchild.
    http://petswithnewt.com/home/page

    Really? Newt is seeking the endorsement of my 10 year old tabby named Boudreaux.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      It was created by Mitt's dog.

      • Mojopo

        The one he tied to the car roof when it had the runs?

        • tessiee

          That right there is a god damn lie and also Mitt Libel!!
          He did NOT tie the dog to the car roof!
          He SUPERGLUED it to the car roof!
          Kindly get your facts straight!!!!!!!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Well I love the pic of the protohominid on the front page. The lemurs he's holding are cool, too.

    • chascates

      My cats would scratch his eyes out. My ducks would crap on his shoes. My pigs would chase his ass all over their pasture.

      Come to think of it, I'd like to see Newt visit the farm!

      • Biff

        Or alternewtively, buy it.

      • tessiee

        "My pigs would chase his ass all over their pasture."

        For sexual purposes, on the reasonable assumption that anything that looks like Newt must be something in the swine family.

        Come to think of it, they wouldn't be entirely wrong, and he'd probably enjoyEEWWWWWW!!!
        *dies*

    • proudgrampa

      My mini-Schnauzer would probably not stop growling at him until he left the house (not that I would invite him in the first place).

    • Limeylizzie

      My elderly cat , Fiona, would put his eyes out .

    • oldmayfly

      Oh noes! Don't let those little creatures near Newt. What if Newt gets hungry?

    • user-of-owls

      My cat just came back from the post office. She was out doing errands and said she pooped in an envelope and sent it to Newt asking him to autograph it. Good kitty.

    • Loaded_Pants

      After clicking the link, I thought: "It this site supposed to be a joke"?
      Then I realized that, like all other things Newt-related, that…yes, yes it is.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Does he know how most animals "endorse"?

      For Gustav, endorsement follows upon close personal anal inspection, often giving cause to fears that his entire person below the shoulders will disappear up the nearest bunghole. He's welcome to the feline endorsements of La Casa de Los Gatos, but methinks he'll regret it.

  • DemonicRage

    If you're going to run this as a story (so far only one of two new ones today, you really ought to accompany it by a gallery of photos that prove your point….not one you have to click to find among all the dense clutter of this poorly edited, marginally interesting non-story.

  • Mojopo

    Did they crab when Nancy Reagan was wearing designer outfits and buying new china? No. Oh wait – she was a white lady.

    Please explain to me what the successful wife of the President of the US is supposed to wear. Are they mad because she's not wearing black leggings, a tube top, hair extensions and acrylic nails? Is she supposed to bobble her head like a chicken and smoke Newports? Bitches, I'm sorry but the woman has the money, the figure and the class to make it work. Step off! Almost all of the Republican candidates spouses look like bar bags, including Marcus Bachmann, and Mrs. Gingrich looks like a blonder Mayflower Madam. Fuck them all.

    • swordfis

      She should be wearing a chador, her usual attire. Expose the Obama Lies!

    • Bluestatelibel

      I think they're advocating a look like this: http://elizainhollywood.files.wordpress.com/2008/

    • tessiee

      "Are they mad because she's not wearing black leggings, a tube top, hair extensions and acrylic nails? Is she supposed to bobble her head like a chicken and smoke Newports?"

      All of which would then be cited as proof that Those People (if you know who I mean) don't know how to dress or act.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Seriously? This is the best the right wing can come up with, that Michelle Obama, in an effort to promote American-made clothing, wears expensive photogenic duds? Which were mostly borrowed or donated, as so many First Ladies' outfits are?

    Really?

    Wow. There is a true dearth of ingenuity on the far right. I would have gone with recycling tampons or using the cat as a mop.

    • freakishlywrong

      Don't forget, they all call her fat as well and make disparaging comments on her "posterior". Yes. That's all they've got.

      • Rotundo_

        Sensenbrenner apologized for that one, mostly for getting caught, but apologized for it anyhow. The senile turd is not from my district, but on behalf of Wisconsin and the portion of its citizenty capable of being embarrassed by our idiot politicians, I apologize to the first lady and humanity in general. We are working to correct some of our mistakes, though in some quarters stupidity is relished as if a deity in and of itself. We also thank you for your patience in this transitional phase back to relative sanity.

        • NellCote71

          What Rotundo says, but for Texas, too. Also. On behalf of all Texans, we are so very sorry, and we will never do it again.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

          Here's the part that gets me: I Googled Sensenbrenner (img). The guy is disgustingly fat, pasty, and out of shape. The FLOTUS has back, no denying that, but all the muscle I can see is pretty toned and cut. The only cut muscle Sensenbrenner will *ever* have is if one of them takes a knife to him for criminal failure to exercise.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Quite frankly, that is just about some white men's sexual attraction to their ideal of a woman who looks like a skinny adolescent boy with big tits.

        • tessiee

          "their ideal of a woman who looks like a skinny adolescent boy with big tits."

          "Tits on a Stick", as I've heard it called.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          I am interested in your ideas, and would like to know if you have a newsletter or perhaps a website I might peruse for more information.

      • Loaded_Pants

        They had no such complaints about Barbara Bush, of course, because she was so trim & athletic.

    • Fukui_Jong-un

      They had a quick go with some story about Bo the dog being flown back from Hawai'i for a photo op, but it turned out to be a dud.

      edit: good christ, I made the mistake of reading the comments on that site.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        That reminds me, they've just announced a new black comedy for the Easter season: Billy Bob Thornton IS "Bad Christ".

        • ShaveTheWhales

          I'd pay money to see that flick.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Isn't that Glenn Beck's site? The comments are revolting. I take some small pleasure in knowing that Beck has been consigned to the rubbish bin of history. I hope his kids change their names and leave home ASAP.

    • tessiee

      "There is a true dearth of ingenuity on the far right. I would have gone with recycling tampons or using the cat as a mop."

      Whereas using the cat as a tampon will result in certain tragedy.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Well, it would probably be tragic for the cat. And also te woman.

  • prommie

    The first lady bores me. And this is as it should be. Post something about Condi Rice, her pompous, pretentious dimwittedness never failed to delight. Where is Princess Sparkle Pony?

    • vulpes82

      He's hypnotized by Callista's sphere-hair and Tiffany sparklies.

    • chascates
      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        My God, was that woman EVER attractive?! Paint her green, stick a broom between her legs and book her for school visits in October.

        • Loaded_Pants

          Maybe she was cute when she was a baby?

        • NellCote71

          I don't understand, with all that plastic surgery, why hasn't she had her nose fixed?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        She is like some ungodly gene-splicing of Laura Bush and Cindy McCain.

      • http://wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

        Ye gods, you could fit manhole covers in those nostrils.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Those ravenous eyes are truly frightening.

        • tessiee

          And why wouldn't she be ravenous? She hasn't had good sex or a good meal since her junior year of high school.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I bet Condi has a badonkadonk as big as Michelle's.

      I think we need a "thong off"

    • tessiee

      "Post something about Condi Rice, her pompous, pretentious dimwittedness never failed to delight."

      I always enjoyed the way she tried to distract everyone from all the blood on her hands by feigning a crush on her boss.

  • proudgrampa

    Condi was the secretary of state we loved to hate!

  • prommie

    "Has proved to be slavish?" Its "Has proven," and "slavish" does not mean "lavish." Fucking illiterate idiots.

    • swordfis

      Don't waste your time, Canute.

    • GOPCrusher

      When you type ragey, your words tend to run together. Reminds me of Darrin McGavin's character in A Christmas Story when he gets on a swearing jag.

      • prommie

        I call it "mental patient string cursing."

    • tessiee

      ""slavish" does not mean "lavish." Fucking illiterate idiots."

      I'm not sure "slavish" is the result of illiteracy, rather than a Freudian slip because of that whole "the FLOTUS is near" thingy.

  • OCcupied_Surf_Serf

    Oh, just leave Michelle alone!!

    If Laura Bush was the wife of a DemocRat Preznit a typical news story in the reight-wing press would of been "First Lady of Vehicular Manslaughter Laura went to a ribbon cutting ceremony"

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    When did we start adding up the cost of first families to travel? Oh, right. Just for this President. Like they are adding things up to present him with a tab when they discover he is a Kenyan muslin

  • Callyson

    I know it does no good to argue facts with people who read the Daily Fail, but…fr­om politicsus­a.com:
    Bush Spent 5 Times More On Flights To Texas Than Obama‘s Christmas Vacation Costs
    Those who criticize the cost of Obama’s Christmas vacation don’t want you to know that George W. Bush spent at least $20 million taxpayer dollars just on flights to his ranch in Crawford..­.
    Not only did Bush spend more days on vacation than any other president, but he used Air Force One more often while on vacation than any other president.
    During Bush’s two terms, the cost of operating Air Force One ranged from $56,800 to $68,000 an hour. Bush used Air Force One 77 times to go to his ranch in Crawford, TX. Using the low end cost of $56,800, Media Matters calculated that each trip to Crawford cost taxpayers $259,687 each time, and $20 million total for Bush’s ranch flights.
    If cost of the flight was the only expense involved to taxpayers Bush’s vacations would still seem rather economical­, but there is more, much more. Unlike the Obama’s $4 million Christmas vacation price tag, which includes the cost of everything from transporta­tion to accommodat­ions for the First Family, the White House staff, and the White House press corps, Bush’s numbers only include the cost of flying the president to Crawford. The cost of transporti­ng and accommodat­ing staff, media, friends and family is not included in Bush’s vacation numbers.”

    • Geminisunmars

      There you go again, trying to interject some reason, facts, and rationality into the argument. When did that ever work?

    • DaRooster

      That's crazy talk… what with facts and shit… get real you… you… Libunatic.

      And besides… Obama is black… HELLO!

    • GOPCrusher

      Just further proof of the Democratic Plantation.

    • tessiee

      Yeah, but Brawndo's got electrolytes.

  • vulpes82

    History's greatest monster.

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    I always quote comments on the internet when I am looking for credibility.

  • Troglodeity

    The chivalrous Rep. James Sensenbrenner has now come to the First Lady's defense, pointing out that it's not her fault that she needs expensive tailoring to accommodate her gargantuan hindquarters.

    • Loaded_Pants

      So that's why he can't look away?

      • NellCote71

        Sounds like the same people obsessed with what teh gayz are doing.

    • tessiee

      "it's not her fault that she needs expensive tailoring to accommodate her gargantuan hindquarters"

      So, those of us who have lovely voluptuous hineys should have more expensive stuff because we need and/or deserve it, and this Steinbrenner or whoever is gonna give us munnyz.

      OK, then.

  • owhatever

    Malkin wears high-priced rags, too, but still looks like a Chinatown streetwalker. Ann Counter wears expensive clothes and still looks like an anorexic man. Laura Ingraham wears prices togs but remains ugly, as well as sounding like an air raid warning. And the Foxy Woxy gals news are nice eye candy, with brains that rattle in their little skulls. None of the above give a damn about the poors. Bag of cats.

    • Loaded_Pants

      I forget…is Malkin still hiding in Colorado because of those imaginary death threats she got?

  • Arken

    Once Rick Perry is president, he'll see to it that she finally gets the outfit that Republicans know every black woman deserves: A maid's uniform.

    • tessiee

      ???
      What is that sound I hear, like a thousand distant repetitions of "BOIIINNNNGG!!"?

  • V572 the Merciless

    Much as I hope Barry gets reelected, I'm really looking forward to the time when he's out of office and Michelle can start to show the world what she can do.

    • DaRooster

      Maybe she will run for POTUS?

      • GOPCrusher

        Michelle/Hillary 2016!

  • joshleefolsom

    Somewhat relevant commentary from Lenny Bruce: "I used to do a bit, four years ago, "Religions Inc.," so my view at that time was, here's a rich church, Catholicism, next door is poverty, so it's hypocrisy. Obvious view. So I started digging, digging, reading, reading, getting into it, then I realized, the reason for the baroque church, the grand church in the poverty neighborhood is that, what the church is is a school… . A raggedy-ass guy won't go into a raggedy-ass temple. He says, "I'm living in a shithouse, what do I gotta go in one for?" But if you can show him something nice, he can understand, you can instruct him." We don't need a raggedy-ass First Lady, either.

  • Guppy

    Did she buy the clothing with an open-ended, interest-free line of credit (a/k/a the Gingrich Plan)? No? OK then.

  • user-of-owls

    The English Daily Mail is bloody well right to call its readers' attention to the bloody scandalous spending habits of the American First Lady. After all, their 'First Lady' (and First Racist Lout and First & Second Brats and all the Other Distant Relations, Hangers-On and Lickspittles) is the very paragon of frugality.

    Our Honored 'Divine Right, WTF??' Republic kneels before you, Daily Mail, in abject gratitude.

    • Fukui_Jong-un

      I say old chap, that was somewhat below the belt. Not Queensberry rules, dontchaknow.

      Brenda's state-funded income is offset by receipts from the "crown estate", held in trust. Those Saxe-Coburg-Moochers technically own huge swathes of Britain, but not in a private capacity – and they can't sell it. The hun freeloaders are actually net taxpayers.

      • user-of-owls

        Quite so, pip pip. I'm given to wonder, though, just how much of that tax bill is paid with the hard-earned moolah that the kingly forebears got for working the mines versus how much comes from, oh, I don't know, the systematic rape and plunder of half the world's population from the Middle Ages to the 20th Bloody Century.

        Just a smidge curious, old thing.

        • Fukui_Jong-un

          We said sorry.

          • user-of-owls

            Ha! Well then, grievous no harm, no foul!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

            Right. That won't wash, young fellow-me-lad. But you will! (seizes Fukui's ear and drags him to Basin of AntiColonialist Rinse)

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          But the Common Wealth floats all boats, innit?

    • Limeylizzie

      Am I the only good Limey?

      • user-of-owls

        Surely you've always known that, dear chippy.

        • Limeylizzie

          Just fishing.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Most mesmerizing eyes, certainly!

        • Limeylizzie

          Flutters eyelashes.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        You're much too sweet and cute and gorgeous to have to pay for the sins of your forefathers, my dear. Except in a, ahem, voluntary sort of capacity.

  • user-of-owls

    I find it a bit suspicious that the comment on the Naked DC site that these Englishers conveniently quote reads:

    ‘She claims to be a champione of the poore and a fellowe bargaine shoppere, but oy, here she is, spourting a dress that noe redundantized Yank can afforde.’

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Dame Peggington Noonington astroturfs?!

  • AlterNewt

    I would pay serious money for that Slanket when FLOTUS is done with it.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      "Slanket" sounds so dirty.

      • tessiee

        As well it should, since it's a slutty blanket.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Hater's gonna dress badly. Fuck 'em.

  • user-of-owls

    What the fuck is up with all the "Earnest Retread Comments" on this story? Jim Varney, Borgnine and Che are all dead, dead, dead.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    I'd like to announce that I have taken a position with Johnson Publishing as the Editor-In-Chief of a new magazine replacing stodgy old "Ebony":

    UPPITY.®
    The Magazine For Today's African-American Who Enjoys The Finer Things That Make White Folks Seethe With Resentment.™

    • GOPCrusher

      The first editorial should be titled "Where Are All The White Women At?"

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        We'll be avoiding that topic, so as not to piss off half of our intended demographic. The Obamas will be featured on 13 out of 12 covers, also.

    • prommie

      Who do you think you are?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        hehe

    • tessiee

      I keep trying to respond to this, but my comment keeps getitng eated by "administrator".
      ???

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        I had that happen earlier today also. Too.

    • tessiee

      Your ideas interest me…

    • tessiee

      …and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    • mayor_quimby

      Can I write a column pretending to be the conservative black guy who serves as a voice of reason for 'gracious white folks' on the back page?

      • tessiee

        Please do, if for no other reason than how much it would annoy Michael Steele, Clarence Thomas, et. al.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

        Go for it.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Sounds SO cool.

  • Lynne

    Desperation and sour grapes will always find something new to whine about.

  • PuglyDoRight

    Were these people keeping track when W flew Air Force One back to Crawford every weekend? Just wondering. Oh, and I'm happy we have a kick-ass First Lady. She could take any one of the GOP contenders in a cage fight.

  • tessiee

    "gym sessions with Desmond Tutu"

    Lulz, in little shorts with a sweatband?
    "OK, Ladies! Feel the burn!"

  • Loaded_Pants

    What's all this foreign talk…speak English dammit!

    • tessiee

      "I nicked it, in just that split second when you let your guard down, and I'd do it again." — English guy who stole Homer Simpson's sugar for his tea

  • LakeLucilleLoon

    But what about Scott Brown groping his bikini-clad daughters? That Nekkid DC site totally over looks that old Teabagger custom.

  • fuflans

    oh just fuck off you fat stupid white oldz.

  • ttommyunger

    She's the First Lady of America. She's young and hot. She has two lovely children. She has a handsome, intelligent husband who loves her. She has lots of money to spend on whatever she wants. So fuck off!

  • 102415

    I remember when they tried to put Nancy in jail for taking all those fancy free dresses and not paying any tax. Good times!