cookie monster is so not on board with this

Mitt Romney Vows To Balance Budget With Reforms To ‘Sesame Street’

Hardass Mitt Romney is now the actual GOP frontrunner, so it’s finally time to get serious, take a real stand on some issues, go IN DEPTH instead of standing around waffling on the margins always looking no matter what he wears like a dork in a turtleneck clutching an asthma inhaler while waiting for the base to grow weary of his psychotic opponents. No more. Now it’s time for “TUFF TALK MITTENS.” First things first, educational children’s teevee shows with puppets are way too free in America. A President Romney will no longer provide commercial-free programming like Sesame Street for children at a cost of a sixth of a penny per year or whatever to each taxpayer. THAT IS MONEY THAT COULD BE GOING TO WARS.

From TalkingPointsMemo:

“I like PBS,” Romney told a town hall in Clinton, Iowa Wednesday. “We subsidize PBS. Look, I’m going to stop that. I’m going to say PBS is going to have to have advertisements.”

Funding for public broadcasting played a big part in the battle over the budget that nearly led to a government shut down after the Republicans took over Congress. Republicans aimed their rhetoric at NPR, but PBS funding would also have been cut (from basically nothing to nothing) under their plan to government funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

Romney would also go after CPB funding, as well as funding for the National Endowment for the Arts, another favorite Republican target. He has promised to increase funding for the military.

Yeah, seriously, what is with all this free stuff kids are getting these days, like education? Shouldn’t they have advertisements on chalkboards or desks or lunch trays or something, by now? Shit, we’re probably giving him ideas. [TPM]

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    1. hagajim

      Obviously Mittens needs to talk to "The Count" because there is no way this idiocy adds up to more than "1"!

    2. GOPCrusher

      The Republiklans have been saying they were going to defund PBS almost as long as they've been saying that any Democrat running for office is going to take away your guns.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Don't forget outlawing abortion & amending the U.S. Constitution to enshrine heteronormative marriage as the only marriage.

        Wedge issues work, though, so it's never going to happen. Well, maybe the abortion ban, but after ten years of vaginal devastation & female death-rate spike — namely, rich, white, suburban girl deaths — it will go the way of Prohibition & the Missionaries to the Preborn will have as much sway as the Women's Christian Temperance Union.

  1. SorosBot

    But hey, he promises to increase funding to the military; it's horrible that our military is only the size of the entire rest of the world's combined; how is America going to conquer Earth with that small a military?

    1. friendlyskies

      We can't let the taxpayers keep their money, pool it, and use it to provide themselves infrastructure, that's socialism. Instead, we must use taxpaying apparatus to steal all of their money and give it to our friends, the defense contractors, lobbyists, banks, and oil companies, for Jesus (Republican Jesus, not Mormon Jesus), capitalism, and the Founding Fathers. Amen.

    2. Callyson

      Well, we could try a charm offensive, led by the characters on Sesame Street…
      …nah, let's bomb the hell out of everyone. Come on, Pakistan, what's a little collateral damage among friends?

    3. hagajim

      It is horrible – how are we gonna employ people if we all don't work for the gubmint military-industrial complex.

      1. Swampgas_Man

        Waitaminnit — If WE'RE working for the military, and the Illegal Mexicans are drafted into the military, then who's Joe Arpeio gonna shoot at?

    4. Ducksworthy

      And with a Mormon President we will finally be able to realize the conquest of earth using Plan 9 From Outer Space (which includes a lot of fucking.)

  2. Barb

    They should have commercials on Sesame Street. How else will the little girls, age 8-11 know to find the morning after pill in the bubblegum aisle? Am I right, Michele?

    1. TheGyrus

      They already do have commercials on Sesame Street. They call it, "sponsorship", but either way, the show always starts with 30 second spot for McDonalds. But they do it in a low-key, PBS voice, so I guess it doesn't count.

      1. Designer_Rants

        Just like before NOVA they always thank The David G Koch Foundation for their generous donation. Nothing says "science" like a Koch Brother uh… Not trying to discredit it?

    2. mormos

      fuck it. let's bring back the 80s where every kids show was just a half hour advertisement for toys. Why have commercials when the show itself can be a commercial?

    1. Sparky_McGruff

      I bet those Muppets could provide a useful service, like stripping out asbestos from old buildings, or cleaning the lead sludge at the smelter.

      1. Dudleydidwrong

        They could also be used to clean up the sets after a day's hard work. I mean, if it is good enough for school children it is good enough for Bert, Ernie, and Big Bird.

    2. anniegetyerfun

      You know, if Newt gets in Mitten's cabinet, he can head up the task force on showing kids how to clean the school bathrooms. Oscar would make a great spokesmonster.

      So would Newt, though, I guess.

  3. Schmannnity

    Worth borrowing money from China: war, corporate subsidies, tax cuts; not worth borrowing money for: education, health, disaster relief.

  4. memzilla

    Let's blend these two ideas, and simply weaponize Sesame Street. That way we could increase its funding.

    Oscar The Grouch as the irascible sergeant… Counting Vampire as the wonky budget analyst… Ensign Elmo as the Lt. Pulver-y morale/laundry officer… Big Bird as (what else) a colonel… hell, since DADT was repealed, even Bert and Ernie can serve…

  5. Mort_Sinclair

    Under a "President Romney," (ugh in every context) we'd be lucky to get off (ugh again) with just commercials on Sesame Street. What would happen if he found out Elmo was a black guy? Discuss.

    1. FlyOverGirl

      Jeez, what about the whole "using a Grouch in a trash can to teach kids it's okay to be homeless" thing?

    2. WIDTAP

      Could be worse. If were Palin or Bachmann, they would simply imply that Kevin Clash was a pedophile and demand that public money not longer be use to officially sanction possible child molestation.

        1. natoslug

          Yes, but most religions like to figuratively pull their religion out of a hat. The LDS went whole-hog and literally did so. At least it made for a great South Park episode (and was quite useful in helping my wife break a lifetime habit of Mormonism. At some point even the True Believers are willing to say "Okay, now you're just fucking with me. Rocks in a hat? Really?")

          1. Negropolis

            I've always said that Mormonism is extra cynical in that they start off as fundamentalist, literalist Evangelicals, and then add extra fundamentalist and literalist shit on top of that. The only religion more cynical is Scientology.

          2. horsedreamer_1

            By the time L. Ron & Joseph Smith & Elijah Muhammad came around, there was little for earthly religion to explain. That's why all three are so science-fictiony & outer space heavy.

  6. EatsBabyDingos

    wilLARD fights the Lard and the Pink Robots of Distopia with his trusty sidekicks, Flipper and Flopper.

  7. Harry_S_Truman

    "Funding for public broadcasting played a big part in the battle over the budget that nearly led to a government shut down after the Republicans took over Congress.

    Looks like Mittens needs to learn his fractions; .01% of the budget is not "a big part of the battle."

    1. Swampgas_Man

      No, but the GoOPers spent 99% of their time holding their breath and turning bluer than Grover over .01% of the budget. That's Responsible Politics!

  8. El Pinche

    You know Mittens hates Sesame Street ("I like PBS" ~ "Im not a racist"). He wants to put every Muppet in ventilation-less cage on his car and drive cross country between his town mansions.

  9. CivicHoliday

    La la la la
    La la la la
    Romney's world
    La la la la
    La la la la
    Romney's world
    Romney likes his soldiers
    Corporations too
    Thaaaat's Roommmney's woooorrrrllllldddd

  10. CivicHoliday

    (P.S. snark off, I have a 2 year old and right now Sesame Street is the only program I feel safe letting her watch precisely because it is FREE of the awful advertising and product placements she already gets pretty much everywhere else on the planet. So, yeah, fuck you Mittens, keep your filthy hands off my PBS)

  11. chascates

    Replace the 50 stars on the flag with the logo of Microsoft. The Statue of Liberty could be renamed 'Statue of General Electric'. Army tanks and humvees could have ads on the like cabs do. It takes someone with business experience to change things in Washington.

    Although Mittens' experience is about corporate raiding and massive layoffs.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Vietnam Memorial & Pho on the Mall.

        The Viagra Memorial.

        The Bic John F. Kennedy Eternal Flame.

    1. real_dc_native

      "Although Mittens' experience is about corporate raiding and massive layoffs. "

      That's exactly the expertise that the Republicans and their corporate sponsors need in Washington!

  12. starfanglednut

    What gave them this hard on for CPB anyway? I can't remember. Did someone on the network utter a liberal sentiment or something? I bet if Sesame Street promoted homophobia, racism, and war, they'd want to double its funding. I love PBS. I'm sick of these fucking bastards. And if they think this won't increase piracy, they're smokin cow dung.

    1. Rotundo_

      On rare occasions, extremely rare these days as the board is composed of corporate idiots and the shows are all underwritten with corporate money (advertising is already there folks, just 'cause it ain't tattooed on the bird's ass doesn't mean it isn't there) there are some bits of truth to be found. You have to sift a lot of turd for the nugget or two of truth to be found, and it outrages them to think that the 1/5000th of a cent their net contribution to it was spent. Fucking morons.

    2. Guppy

      I believe the main problem is that public media carries news broadcasting that isn't in lockstep with Fox.

      In other words, Jim Lehrer needs blonder hair and bigger tits.

    3. FlownOver

      Simple – Nova = science = liberalism = Godless socialism. The only cure is extensive advertising that proves crude oil helps build strong bodies twelve ways.

  13. joshleefolsom

    The Muppets need to get in Romney's ass. Pull the asshole open, step into the asshole, close the door behind them. Spray paint Big Bird was here, wash me, all that shit, fuck his whole asshole up. Turn over Oscar's garbage can, throw that on the floor, fuck his whole asshole up.

  14. arihaya

    also Romney is the type of man who made his fortune the "Open Sesame" way, i.e: by being born from the right vagina

  15. user-of-owls

    The real reason the GOP wants to pull the plug on PBS is that they're still sore about the whole "Dysfunction Junction" affair.

  16. Mumbletypeg


    When Mittens is Prezident, he probably won't pardon the turkey either, it just has that guilty look of resource usurper about it. Never mind "a chicken in every pot," Mitt is all 21st century now with "a Zynga® ad in every textbook" and Ritalin dispensers affixed where you used to go sharpen your pencil in a wall-mounted gizmo. Forget about foreign languages cloying our academics; let the kids refine their multi-lingual chops listening to parent-financed RosettaStone on the rides to/ from kickball practice. It's the most pragmatic way to groom them for the distant lands they'll never have their appetite whetted to visit, orchestral variations they'll never divine without wondering which commercial jingle it reminds them of, visual masterpieces whose significance they'll not be burdened with knowing how much they've been robbed of the opportunity to fully apprehend.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      They don't need any of that fancy stuff anyway — it would just take away from their soldiering duties (or in the case of Mitt's five service-eligible sons, campaigning for their dad).

    1. ThundercatHo

      What about those xtian vegetable dudes? They'd probably taste better with a little bit of pepper spray.

  17. freakishlywrong

    "I like PBS,” Romney told a town hall in Clinton, Iowa Wednesday. “We subsidize PBS. Look, I’m going to stop that."

    I've ceased to have the patience to decipher all this bullshit; I mean, really, what the fuck is he talking about?

    1. hollywooddood

      They're just words he strings together that teabaggers can listen to and then nod and grin at their ability to get behind his deep insights.

    2. yyyaz

      It's the thought process of a psychopath: if you love something that doesn't love you back, you must kill it.

  18. DonnyKerabotsos

    Mitt is on the something, but why stop there? Maybe we should require churches to carry advertizing in exchange for their tax-exempt status. You know, maybe plaster the Golden Arches on Communion wafers and have Glade scented candles in the sacristy.

    Riding one of those "little or no cost to you" scooters? NASCAR type jumpsuits with Metamucil and Dr Scholl's orthotics logos out to bring in a few bucks.

    Want that social security, gramps? Just slip into this Chuck E Cheese costume, old timer, and the check is in the mail!

    1. DahBoner

      Anerican taypayers SUBSIDIZE Christian Chuches????


      When's the last time a church gave YOU a job, my friends?

  19. Rotundo_

    It is good to know that Mitt has priorities, it is sad to find that they begin at something that doesn't amount to 15 minutes of services from XE or whatever they're called these days, or the office party budget of the fucking Air Force.

    1. OhNoGuy

      But his pig-ignorant listeners know that foreign aid is 25% of the budget and PBS has got to be about the same and THAT'S WHY OUR TAXES ARE SO HIGH!

  20. chascates

    So far as military funding being the top priority these people should consider moving to North Korea, where that idea has borne fruit for decades.

  21. CapeClod

    I'm wondering if we are going to see product placement when the next round of 'Downton Abbey' comes up.

    "Carson, I think my gout is acting up."

    "Indeed, Lord Grantham. Might I suggest trying Uloric? Its the number one remedy for gout treatment. Let hold that beaker of green fluid for you."

  22. DerrickWildcat

    Our Army guys need to get top secret Ninja training like in the James Bond film if we are to defeat the Northern Korea. Did you see how hard they can cry? That means they are probably good fighters.

  23. ThundercatHo

    Spoken like a man who has never sat with his children watching TV on a cold, rainy day. Actually, more like a man who could give two shits about his children after he pulls his magic underwear back on.

    1. Eve8Apples

      At least he didn't tie his kids to the top of a station wagon and drive across the country – well, at least that story hasn't been reported yet.

  24. V572 the Merciless

    THAT MONEY COULD BE GOING TO WARS Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Haliburton, Raytheon, etc…But not the VA.

  25. fartknocker

    Really? The most important item on Mittens agenda is to cut PBS funding? This fingerbanging turdblossom flips more than the China ballet acrobats.

    Has anyone else noticed that when Mit talks to his constituents, he sounds like an excited 8 year old? Sort of like "Mommy, I saw Newt take a giant shit in Ron Paul's ice cream bowl!"

    1. BelleSC

      Has anyone else noticed that when Mit talks to his constituents, he sounds like an excited 8 year old? Sort of like "Mommy, I saw Newt take a giant shit in Ron Paul's ice cream bowl!"

      Ding, dong. Hello, My name is Elder Romney! <ear to ear smile>

  26. GregComlish

    Sesame Street needs to find real sponsors. The worst part of Sesame Street is how it doesn't relentlessly shove consumerism down the necks of our impressionable children. Where else will kids learn turn to become screeching vultures for overpriced plastic figurines and high fructose corn syrup?

      1. CivicHoliday

        Actually, kids hear about Tickle Me Elmo on other channels. They may learn to LOVE him on Sesame Street but the toy mania come separately.

    1. BarackMyWorld

      I hope she has her papers in her BACKPACK BACKPACK! BACKPACK BACKPACK! YEAH!

      (Yes, I have a 5 year-old.)

  27. Naked_Bunny

    Yes, we should require educational shows on PBS to show ads every five minutes. It has worked so well for TLC, after all.

      1. Naked_Bunny

        Understandably so, after reviewing their list of shows. Still, at least they will teach me how to use coupons to facilitate my hoarding.

        Quite a step down from airing James Burke documentaries. But that's the free market for you, right Mitt? It gives us shitty, vacuous TV shows, just like it gives us shitty, vacuous politicians.

  28. Dashboard Buddha

    Hi, My name is Dora the Explorer. Just because I travel to exotic places doesn't mean I don't want to feel fresh. That's why I use Summer's Eve.

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        Hi, I'm Dora's Monkey. Have you ever had a candiru swim up your privates? It's not fun. That's why whenever Dora and I have to cross a South American river, I wear Hanes IronLock briefs.

        1. Naked_Bunny

          This adds a whole new dimension to items that Swiper can swipe.

          When does Dora After Dark start airing?

      1. Naked_Bunny

        I feel like I should point out that Dora is shown on Nickelodeon, not PBS. Unfortunately, nobody gets Between the Lions jokes.

    1. natoslug

      Why the WTF? They have a need, we have the product. It's simply a matter of supply and demand. What could possibly go wrong with supplying weapons to a potential tyrant? Besides, it's not our job to be the world's police force — if those Iraqis start getting too uppity, I'm sure someone will step in and settle things down. It's not like they have a history of instability or extremism in that region.

  29. proudgrampa

    You can let my grandchildren watch Sesame Street commercials when you pry the remote from my cold, dead hands!

  30. Guppy

    "I’m going to say PBS is going to have to have advertisements."

    You first. "This campaign 'town hall' was brought to you by…"

  31. SayItWithWookies

    Shit, there's no reason to fund PBS if Mittens becomes president — the kids'll be too busy mopping the bathrooms after school to watch it anyway.

      1. mavenmaven

        Yes, if the people think they are special, how will they and their children work cheaply all day for their wealthy overlords?

  32. chascates

    When Blowhards Collide:
    Gingrich Floats Choosing Sarah Palin as Vice President, Energy Secretary
    Last night during a tele-town hall hosted by Ralph Reed’s Faith and Freedom Coalition, a caller asked Newt Gingrich if he would consider choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate if he wins the Republican nomination. Gingrich responded that Palin “is certainly one of the people you would look at” and told the caller that he is “a great admirer of hers,” saying “she was a remarkable reform governor of Alaska.” He also floated appointing Palin to a Cabinet position such as Energy Secretary because he “can’t imagine anybody who would do a better job of driving us to an energy solution than Gov. Palin.” Earlier this week, Gingrich pledged to fill the judiciary with graduates of the far-right Liberty and Regent University.
    from RightWingwatch

    1. Indiepalin

      Gingrich also plans to appoint Bryan Fischer to the post of Secretary of the Interior so he can pursue the extinction of the grizzly bear, who Fischer calls the "Jeffrey Dahmers of the animal kingdom."

    2. SayItWithWookies

      He also floated appointing Palin to a Cabinet position such as Energy Secretary because he “can’t imagine anybody who would do a better job of driving us to an energy solution than Gov. Palin.”

      Shit — Thelma and Louise could drive us to a better energy solution than Gov. Palin.

    3. natoslug

      At least he and I agree about something — I also think Sarah Palin is a floater. What I want to know is when will the media fucking flush and finally rid us of her?

      1. GOPCrusher

        Actually, I was just thinking how pleasant it has been not hearing anything about her lately. I fully expect between today and Tuesday, she will rear her ugly head.

  33. Indiepalin

    The dirty little secret is that not only would any republican administration cut all funding for NPR and PBS, they would also try to and destroy their tax-exempt status so that contributions from the public would not be tax-deductible.

  34. El Pinche

    Of course the independents and swing voters (or "r33tards" as I like to call them) are soaking this all up . "DURFFH, UH YEAH, PBS IS SOSHELISM, ..HAHA BIG BIIIRD!! ROMNY IS GOOD! ROMNY IS GOOD! ME HUNGRY , ME WANT SLIM JIM."

  35. sbj1964

    I have the solution to the problem! Dress Burt & Ernie up like NASCAR drivers. Then have Corporate America sponsor nap time with Cigarette,and Alcohol sleeping mat's.

  36. mavenmaven

    Romney will run commercials for the military and from the church of latter day saints on Sesame Street.

    1. chascates

      I've seen the ads running on local TV that show what appears to be an average American and then ends with a tagline, "And I'm a Mormon'.

    2. OhNoGuy

      Maybe he could do a pitch for enlistment? "Mitt Romney here. My boys are too good to be cannon fodder but ……"

  37. randcoolcatdaddy

    Well … eliminating the CPB/PBS funds should reduce the Federal budget by .0001%.

    You have to start small, I suppose.

  38. cheetojeebus

    And using Mitt's business model, I just made my entire mortgage with the proceeds from the sale of this can of pork n beans. This whole case of ramen noodles should cover my vacation home in the Hamptons. You can just call me Duke Van D'Campin' Out !

  39. natoslug

    Panic on the sets of SciGirls
    Panic on the street of Sesame
    I wonder to myself
    Could life ever be sane again ?
    The thoughtful shows that you gaze upon
    I wonder to myself
    IQs may rise on the WordGirl
    But Honey Pie, you're not safe here
    So you run down
    To the safety of the town
    But there's Panic on the sets of Arthur
    Barney, Carmen, Super Why!
    I wonder to myself

    Burn out the Hoopers
    Hang the blasted Big Bird
    Because the words that they constantly say
    Hang the blasted Big Bird
    Because the words they constantly say . . .

    Education, or even simple mindless escape free of corporate influence is NOT ACCEPTABLE for the fucking poorz.

  40. Eve8Apples

    Corporations are people.
    Puppets are not corporations.
    Children are not corporations.
    Therefore, children and their puppets are screwed.

  41. Zombie_Reagan

    So the fact that PBS receives (what seems like $5,000) annually from the federal government is just "destroying" this country? Really? Obviously, that money is better spent spying on Americans or paying for 0.0000000000028 of a shiny new death drone.

    I'm all out of snark for these goddamn fuckwits.

    1. chascates

      The normal retort from 'wingers is that PBS (especially NPR) is supposed to be politically neutral but obviously is not, since it doesn't parrot Faux News talking points.

  42. chascates is running their best of the year videos including:

    Cindy Jacobs claiming that birds were dying in Arkansas because of the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
    Jerry Boykin explaining that the 2008 economic collapse was part of a plot by George Soros and the Council on Foreign Relations order to help Barack Obama win the election and install a Marxist, one-world government.
    Mike Bickle warning that Oprah Winfrey is a harbinger of the Antichrist.
    John Benefiel warning that the Statue of Liberty is actually a demonic idol.

    This is the Republican base.

  43. owhatever

    Under the Romney Reign, Kermit Dodge Ram the Frog can marry up to eight Miss Sony 3G Piggies at the same time.

    This message is brought to you by the letters F-U-C-K-M-I-T-T.

  44. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I'm waiting for the great twist, when it is revealed that Romney is actually an evil Muppet gone rogue.

  45. Troglodeity

    He will also aggressively balance the budget by cutting wasteful subsidies to the North Western Railway on the Island of Sodor.

  46. AnAmericanInTO

    Hell, half the programs on cable are all based on the message behind ANTIQUES ROADSHOW: Yes, YOU have something very valuable collecting dust in your attic just waiting to find the right buyer. See also, picking through other people's trash, storage lockers, Cash4Gold ads…

    Seriously, SESAME STREET could actually do alright for itself since all those dolls, knick knacks and books (THE MONSTER AT THE END OF THIS BOOK, forever!) send the profits back to the CTW, but the Repugs just loathe FRONTLINE and any documentary that isn't about the history of Krispy Kreme.

  47. Monsieur_Grumpe

    There are a few things that the government does right and PBS is one of them. So naturally Numbnutz Mttens wants to cut them off of what little federal funds they get. Only in wingnut world does this get applause.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Marian the Librarian is a lazy unionized educator who needs to be stopped from inculcating her crypto-Stalinist agenda to the nation's young people.

  48. rickmaci

    You have to understand, it isn't about the money. PBS and CPB have been around since 1967. They have become very easy dog whistle topics for the RebuliKKKan base. The programming is so "urban". Sesame Street has become another way for the RebulicKKKan's to use the "n" word in public, that's all. Willard is using CPB and PBS as code words in his stump speech, to get the white sheets and cross burning crowd all stirred up.

  49. BlueStateLibel

    According to Romney's plan, by the age of 12, kids (unless they're Romney kids) should be either out in the fields or in the sweatshops, or the wives of guys three decades older than them.

    1. Barrelhse

      But don't forget that Romney's kids are performing a critical service to Our Country by helping to get Mittens elected, instead of them serving in the military. Can you think of ANYTHING more important than that?

  50. proudgrampa


    The Romney campaign has hired Jonathan Swift, author of "A Modest Proposal," to help define future administration policy toward children.

    Edit: Swift said, ""A young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragoust."

  51. Biel_ze_Bubba

    One puppet calling out a bunch of other puppets? Obviously, what really matters is whose hand is up your ass.

  52. Eve8Apples

    If Sesame Street is going to have ads, all of our military equipment should have ads plastered on the sides. I can't wait to see a convoy of tanks covered with KY lubricant, Trojan and Tampax ads rolling across the Afghan desert.

  53. ttommyunger

    Every time Mitt opens his mouth he reveals just how out of touch he is with the real world. PBS has had paid advertisement for years. True, they don't sandwich glitzy ads between shows as on basic cable, but they are there, they are identified by name at the beginning of shows and between shows and they are plentiful. Public and Government funding are only two of a three legged stool for their finances. It is painfully obvious Romney has never watched a PBS Program in his life.

  54. miss_grundy

    I hope this asshole never walks into my favorite diner here in southeastern Michigan. I volunteer at my local PBS station and I probably would drop a carafe of coffee in this jerk's lap.

  55. Negropolis

    Hey Willard, we wouldn't have to borrow that much money from China if your party would actually let us, you know, tax shit at responsible levels in a nation as developed and wealthy as ours.

    Actually, I have a better idea, Willard. Why don't we, the people of these United States, balance the budget by just cold snatching your ill-gotten gains, you rube?

    Yeah, Big Bird says hi, you greedy bastard. Just because you're a whore doesn't mean everyone else wants to be one.

  56. SaintRond

    Romney reminds me of one of those Mormons Howard Hughes used to like having around to do the messy job of keeping his vitamin B and morphine drip dripping and attach his catheter each morning before changing his piss bag and wiping up any of those pesky infections that would accrue. Hughes felt these people were naturally clean and good for the sterile environment he wanted to maintain, and to show his appreciation would purchase them bottles of distilled water and coupons for chili dogs at Tommy's, a diet Hughes felt would maintain the highest standards of blood purity.

    Basically, he's a cold blooded automaton who's used to maintaining a mask of sanity in a world of complete and utter insanity, which makes him come off robot like. That's Mitt. That's Mormonism.

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