Dead old racist warmongering anti-Semite misogynist criminal Richard Nixon might also have been a tender lover in the handful of moments in his life when he wasn’t up to something terrifying, sayeth a new book! Not to his wife, of course; she, like everyone else in America, was often brutalized by Tricky Dick. No, it seems Nixon may have been a giant self-loathing closet ‘mo who found secret happiness in a spirit-marriage to a smarmy Mafia goon he picked up in Florida. According to this book from veteran journalist Don Fulsom, Nixon even gave his special friend his own room at the White House, took him on adorable gay vacations to the Keys and allegedly held hands with him under the dinner table, AW. What else did they do, sing show tunes together?
AS A MATTER OF FACT, via Queerty.com:
Due out next month, Fulsom’s racy bio, Nixon’s Darkest Secrets, asserts that Nixon carried on a decades-long affair with Mafia-connected Floridian Charles “Bebe” Rebozo, unquestionably one of the 37th U.S. President’s closest confidants. Rebozo often vacationed with Prez Dick in Key Biscayne, both with Nixon’s wife Pat along and not. During the men-only visits, the twosome reportedly frolicked together in and out of the water, and gushed over their shared passion for Broadway musicals.
We can’t really process that last sentence! Next bizarre detail, about Richard Nixon practicing his make-out skills on his military aides, from the Daily Mail:
Fulsom claims one of Nixon’s former military aides had a secret job ‘to teach the President how to kiss his wife’ so they would look like a convincing couple.
How much of this can we believe? Nixon died in 1994 and his reputation is pretty much irredeemable. As with [Clint] Eastwood’s [J. Edgar] Hoover film, there is no definitive proof, but plenty of ‘supporting evidence’.
Fulsom quotes a former Time magazine reporter who, at a Washington dinner, bent down to pick up a fork and saw the two holding hands under the table. It was, the reporter judged, sufficiently intimate to suggest ‘repressed homosexuality’.
Ha ha, “repressed” seems to imply some kind of ambiguity or something. A Republican politician holding hands with another dude under the table at dinner in the 1970s is like the modern-day equivalent of Larry Craig waving his hands around under an airport bathroom stall — pretty clear cut! [Queerty.com/Daily Mail]
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So, he wasn't "Tricky Dicky" he was "Licky Dicky?"
And apparently his buddy was Bebe ReBlowzo.
I remember hearing about how "close" they were when I was growing up. Now that I think of it, there were all kinds of implications to that "closeness" that I didn't recognize at the time.
One of my best friends, Jayson D's dad was Nixon's personal chef. I need to get me some gossip about this.
Oh, you are the BEST for juicy gossip! Thanks! Report back ASAP, trooper!
Yes please!
"Jayson D's dad was Nixon's personal chef."
Why would a guy who put ketchup on cottage cheese need a personal chef?
Nixon was not Gay! However his boyfriend was.
Not that there is anything wrong with that – tee hee!
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
This is Nixon, you can't just throw up a little in your mouth.
Or perhaps we just misunderstood what "Tricky Dicky" meant. It referred to RMN all right, but it wasn't all of him that was being called tricky. This is an example of the device that literary theorists call synecdoche (Pars pro toto).
By the time you get dressed, drive out there, play 18 holes and come home, you've blown seven hours. There are better things you can do with your time.
Richard M. Nixon
Yes, you could blow seven mobsters.
Barb:
Did you ever see a clip of Nixon trying to play golf?
One thing for sure – he wasn't a swinger!
Well, the gave "W" a library, so anything is possible.
Man – seven hours blowing…jaw might be tired.
Ah, a chance to resurrect one of my favorite '60s slogans: "Dick Nixon, Before He Dicks You."
Or, "Don't Change Dicks in the Middle of a Screw."
"… Vote For Nixon In '72!"
When he had phlebitis the graffitti read: FREE THE CLOT!!!
Saddest thing? We look back at this as the Good Old Days.
Who'd'a thunk we'd ever get to the point when we looked back fondly, with regret, upon that miserable scumbag?
Second saddest: Nixon would nowadays be left of all the current Rs.
Mostest saddest: Nixon couldn't get elected as Democrat these days with his "Abortion? Who the fuck cares? Getta dozen goddamned abortions! Just keep those little crumb-snatching bastards away from my goddamn scotch! *grumble* Hate those little bastards, stealing my Seconal and smokin' their roofers.*"
Not to mention that history, with the help of Nixon's Plumbers and Jedgar Hoover's book-burnin' hoe-downs, has forgiven Nixon for being the biggest ever American Surrender Monkey to Red China. Doug MacArthur killed a lot of our grandfathers and great-uncles tryin' to keep China American. And there goes Nixon with his Peking Duck-eatin' self, sitting down at the table with Deng Xiao Peng. That pinko wouldn't stand a chance in hell of getting elected in 2012.
The Bebe Rebozo thing was pretty standard wink-wink Nixon biography fare before the 2000s when, just as a single example, the widely-accepted falsity of the Warren Commission Report, by dint of Faux News and Ailes' epic Jesuitry, became discredited enough to join Area 51 as a laughable topic suited only for conspiracy theorists. The re-writing of history for the public mind in the Aughts has really been phenomenal, on par with the dialectic revisionism of Stalin's wonder years. Except it's just us few chickens who seem to have noticed.
Nixon did, however, in the process of his Rethug-Commie Authoritarian Jamboree, remove McCarthy-era laws that banned, among other things Chinese and Communist, the sale of Peking Duck and Dim Sum. The wild (and wonderful) proliferation of Szechuan and authentic regional Chinese cuisine in the 70s and 80s was a direct result of his Group Hug with the Chinese Politburo. It also marked the beginning of the irrevocable and final decline of Egg Foo Yung.
Hail to the Thief.
Or, during the antiwar protests, "Pull out, Dick, like yer faartha shoud have!"
You left out the "before it is too late" part.
Frolicgate?
Not twattergate
EW……….EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW……EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nah, actually EWW is the fact that I asked Jeff this morning if he thinks Nixon fucked the pandas, Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing, too. Thanks China!
They didn't call her Ling-Ling for nothing.
You're AWFUL!!! Did it wake him up, like you wanted?
I take it that you are finding this hard to masturbate to.
No, not really. I knocked one out of the park earlier.
Jeff wasn't available to help, or what?
I mean, you know, married folks tend to take care of this little issue for each other (mutters jealously, shuffles away).
Yes I do!
Seconded.
Do you think Dick and Bebe created some frothy mix "Santorum"?
So, THAT'S why they called him Tricky Dick.
Little known fact: Nixon's Secret Service name was "Sticky Dicky."
Me, I have trouble believing Nixon had sex with anything, except for the two duty humps required to produce Julie and Tricia.
All that Julie and Tricia prove is that Pat had at least two dirty humps, or knew her way around a baster.
No proof that Nixon's Dick ever got wet.
And I hear that's not Pat's dress in the Smithsonian.
Nixon in a dress? I think I might Hurl.
The question is whether or not Tricky Dick could rock a dress better than J. Edgar Hoover. also, with or without seamed fishnets?
Fishnets come with seams? Who knew?
No, really. I've never been big on stockings on men or women.
Bebe 'N Dick? This, now, gives Teh Gheys a bad name.
Next you'll be telling me that Rick Santorum is gay.
Nah – just filled with Santorum – and self loathing.
Well I am thinking he doth protest too much.
Srsly. NOBODY spends so much time thinking about gay sex as a closeted gay dude, OK? And NOBODY BUT NOBODY has ever spent more time thinking about gay sex than Rick Santorum.
When Ricky was whining about what his surname is associated with now, I thought: Is he really that stupid? Does he really think the best approach to ending the problem was to remind EVERYONE what his name is now associated with? How about ignoring it completely & then maybe people would start to forget?
All though, to be fair, Savage would people remind people if they started to forget.
If he'd shut up about it … but Rick Santorum is unable to quit whinging about how HE is the victim. Dan Savage gave him plenty of opportunities to quit beating up on gay people. All he had to do was apologize and do something good for the victims of his hate, like start a "stop bullying" campaign, or merely participate in one, and Dan would have taken down the site. But no. Rick Santorum spends every minute of every day yawping about what a virtuous soul he is as a cover for the bilious hate that seeps through his veins. Although gay people have not directly harmed him in any way, he feels justified in encouraging the bashers who would happily kill us all if they could, leave us bound and naked tied to a cross to freeze to death. Too many people I know have been attacked, beaten, silenced, even killed. Santorum deserves *everything* that sticks to him.
Totally agree.
What puzzles me is how there are some people who don't think their words/actions have an effect on others. This lack of empathy/awareness is truly monstrous in those who hold, or are running, for public office. I just don't get it. The only conclusion I can come to is that there is something really, really wrong with such people.
Marcus Bachmann said that "Rick was straight like me…"
Are there any Republicans that aren't gay?
IIRC, David "Diaper Man" Vitter is into chicks…unfortunately for those of us of the female persuasion…
No he is into a mommy fetish, he wants a woman to change his diaper to get him all cleaned up for his sexy time with Frank, Bill, Larry or whomever.
I see. Not sure if this news is reassuring or terrifying…
Yes
Mitt Romney? Which might explain why 2/3rds of the GOP can't stand him.
I dunno. I think Mittens Romneycare is a bot and incapable of interacting in the sexual manner.
Agreed. But still not gay.
Recently, some of my friends have "come out of the closet" as asexual. Being an enthusiastically sexual person myself, when I get half a chance, I find that incomprehensible, but they assure me that they just don't find sex that interesting. I'd put Mittens in that category. I don't think he *has* sexual feelings, just a life-script. He was supposed to spawn, so he found a wifebot and plugged her five times (give or take a few accidents). If the script called for him to take a manly hairbeast to bed, he would have tupped George Clooney with just as much enthusiasm as he displays for his current temple-approved wifebot.
Newt and Herm seem to focus their attention, and wallets, on the ladies. With varying degrees of success.
In the case of Herm, it was varying degrees of fail.
Only the dead ones. Which, coincidentally , is also the answer to the question: re there any good Republicans?
I heard the Gipper was the Gaper?
I heard Nancy gave the best head in Hollywood, so maybe he was just a top.
I heard she she takes her dentures out and still gives a mean skullfuck.
Tip her well and she'll keep an eye out for you…
"Are there any Republicans that aren't gay?"
Perhaps there are, and perhaps there aren't; it's hard to tell.
What we do know for certain is that there are no Republicans that aren't loathsome hypocrites.
We will neither confirm or deny that any republicans are gay.
The Party of Lincoln.
with their Lincoln logs if you catch my meaning, if you get my drift
DB:
Too subtle.
And Lincoln was known for his "rail splittin'" if my drift you get.
That's a great point…great prez that he was, how far back does this go? What if it's Closeted Republicans all the way down?!
Phyllis Schlafly?
The judges would have also accepted this is as an answer for "nazis who aren't gay."
Schwarzenegger?
As an Italian American I find the depiction of a member of my community stereotypical and insulting. I personally would need more definitive proof that Mr. Rebozo liked musical theater (Opera excluded) before I was willing to believe it.
Eh, he was Cuban. But not any kind of hot sexy Cuban.
"not any kind of hot sexy Cuban"
Leave it to Nixon, the most boring man who ever lived, to find the one Hispanic man on earth with absolutely no sex appeal.
RICKY RICARDO LIBEL!
Wait, wut?
I didn't say Ricky Ricardo had no sex appeal, I said *Bebe Rebozo* had no sex appeal.
Ricky was cute!
There are some Italian gays, I believe the term is "finocchio"
Sure there are gay Italians but they are all way to butch to love show tunes.
Ronnie Libel.
"I believe the term is "finocchio" "
You are correct.
*offers beowoof a puppy treat*
However (and I say this with all the love in the world for my father, uncles, and boy cousins), in a group where the straight men dress to the nines, have perfectly styled hair, listen to opera music, can cook as well as any chef, and wear approximately fourteen pounds of gold jewelry, the finocchios can be kinda hard to spot.
Can I REPEAT this? ZOMG, I am howling my ass off! My gay Italian friends will KILL!
It's possible that your gay Italian friends have already had this discussion with Cousin Vinny, probably while Vinny was cooking linguine carbonara, but *hand wave* ma sicuro, go ahead.
You forgot the profumo e gelato.
Oh, and that warped chili pepper penis all the guidos wear around their necks. Really, not gay at all Luigi, not gay at all.
I recently read a very interesting biography of Jack Anderson. Nixon was astonishing corrupt – no regard for campaign finance laws, happy to accept wads and wads of corporate cash, etc.
What a Dick!
Now it seems he may have been accepting more than the cash wads.
And that separates him from all politicians thereafter in what way?
…as was Anderson.
Meh, he still bowled better than Barry.
That's because Nixon is used to handling balls.
Didn't Barry have the Richard M. Nixon Memorial Bowling Emporium ripped out of the White House and a basketball court built in it's place?
I think the House only has an outdoor court.
Posters should get extra points for comments that do not include a "Dick" reference.
How about Peter,cock,shclong,Pecker,Penis,Anaconda,wanker,Trouser snake,or GOP member?
One eyed trouser trout? Heat seeking moisture missile?
Kissing? I heard there were other things he couldn't get down Pat.
Please tip the waitress.
Well, when the president does it, that means that it is not gay.
The young people (under 55) won't get it but I appreciate your reference! Well done!
51 here. Anybody else want to lower the age of Nixon reference consent?
You know who else wanted to lower the age of Nixon consent?
28, booyah. I was always kinda precocious, though.
I just made everyone here suddenly feel really old, didn't I?
Whippersnapper.
Get off my lawn – and pull your pants up!
Win.
Historical ref FTW x 1000!
So, was Tricky Dick hoovering Hoover?
Probably not, but Hoover knew who Nixon was dicking.
No, Checkers usually looked worried thought.
Winner: Ugliest Mental Image of the Day!
Eye of the beholder, dude. Since Beowoof is a small, cute dog, he probably thinks Checkers was hawt.
All of a sudden, I feel an urge to readjust my viewpoint. I wonder what *else* Beowoof thinks … especially about us who might not be, you know, small cute dogs.
Failed Nixon Re-Election Motto: "Nixon: A candidate we can get behind"
Was replaced with "Nixon: A candidate who gets behind you" at Nixon's insistence.
Positively CREEP-y.
The EPA is part of the homosexual agenda. This finally proves it–WAKE UP, AMERICA. Nixon is cramming it down your throat!!!
He also took us off the gold standard and took silver out of our coins! Wake up, sheeple!
And opened up the
marketswalmarts to shitty Chinese products!Cramming it down our throats like a big zucchini!!
*runs away in panic*
shared passion for Broadway musicals
Um, OK, maybe I can believe Tricky Dick was a closet case…but a fan of Broadway musicals? That requires suspending too much disbelief…
…with the possible exception of "Springtime for Hitler." That, I can see Nixon singing along to with gusto…
Stupid reporter. They weren't holding hands in a gay way. They were merely exchanging long protein strings.
Kodos '72!
"If you know of a better way to do this, I would like to hear it." — Kang
Holding hands under the table? Nixon was Gay? Well most the things the Republicans do is under the table.
I'll paraphrase a funny thing one of my friends used to say in high school, just to shock us: "Heck, I'm as straight as they come, but even I would jump into bed with
Mick JaggerBebe Rebozo."Being a part of that whole Roy Cohn twisted nastiness contingent of the 50's republican "patriotism" brigade, I suppose it shouldn't come as any surprise. The mention of Nixon and sexuality of any sort is just icky though. What is it with repressed authoritarian types and self loathing that produces this wonderful sort of human?
"What is it with repressed authoritarian types and self loathing that produces this wonderful sort of human?"
Excuse the pun, but it's gotta come out somewhere, and if you repress something forcefully enough, with no healthy release, it will come back at you with a pitchfork.
You see it a lot with the sadism of the really repressed religious fundamentalists and Type A superachievers, too.
The most glaring example I can think of is Michael Jackson. If he'd just been allowed to be (forgive me) a big ol' homo, he could have been another Smokey Robinson. Instead, he went crazy (yeah, that's right, he went crazy; there's no other way to describe it, really), and his name was synonymous with "child molester/surgery junkie/freak show", instead of "amazing talent" like it *should* have been.
Poor Michael Jackson, instead of being the Biggest Pop Star In The Universe, universally recognized for his talent despite his personal bizarreness, he could have been a lesser R&B crooner and frozen soul food mogul:
http://www.iceboxdiner.com/brands/Smokey+Robinson...
There is no evidence that Smokey is gay, also.
Everybody's entitled to their personal favorites, but I don't think Smokey Robinson is a "lesser" crooner. I wasn't suggesting that he's gay; if even half the stories are true, he's a ladies' man who is anything *but* sexually repressed.
Also, try as I might, I cannot imagine anything whatsoever staying "frozen" around that voice, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
It's probably a girl thing, I guess.
BTW, I wasn't *making fun* of Michael Jackson for going crazy; I felt *sorry* for him. I'm also aware that he had other things going on in his life/upbringing that almost certainly contributed to his problems, and "Mo vs. Crazy" is an oversimplification. However, I do think my larger point — that over-repression with *no* healthy outlets can backfire in very unpleasant ways — still stands.
I get your larger point, I just don't think MJ's artistic career would have turned out any better had he been a publicly-declared homosexual. Would his personal sense of style and musical choices have been any different? I doubt it. Might he have been personally happier? Maybe. Would he be alive now? I don't think all of his medical problems were about being gay. Would he have molested boys? Well, if we ask that, aren't we equating gayness with pedophilia? Would he have still tried to surgically and chemically slice and peel himself into a Franken-Diana Ross/Brooke Shields? I don't know if telling everyone he was gay would have stopped him from doing that.
Great point. Future generations are in trouble of forgetting that MJ was a musical genius before he went nuts. Remember that Kraftwerk heard "Billie Jean" and their reaction was "we just became obsolete".
Kissinger knew everything. I wonder if he watched and coached. "No, Bebe, he likes it ven you do zah reach around. Verk it ahnd yerk it like so. Oooooo, daht's nice"
As if the idea of Dick and Bebe wasn't repulsive enough, you've got to throw Kissinger into the picture? Sadist.
at Nixon's request, Hoover filmed this. Ben Stein wrote and directed the screenplay. Nixon didn't like the original draft as Stein wrote himself into the movie as the hero. the original title? Win Ben Stein's Money Shot.
Upfists. Upfists everywhere.
yes! Upfists! Upfists Everywhere! was the final title of the movie. not many people know that bit of trivia. i'm impressed!
That was before he decided to call it…The Aristocrats!
Or, as The Onion called it: "Outwit the Stingy Jew."
I recall reading that it wasn't even Ben Stein's money at all but Comedy Central's.
I wonder if this is why Kissinger got on his knees and "prayed" with Dick.
OT, EatsBD, but I've been looking for you with this update http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/12/19/new-hearing...
Nice story, and about time. Crikey, they're wild dogs. If Nixon can be gay, then some dog could eat a baby. I've been eating metaphoric dingo babies for years.
Onward through the fog.
History of the Republican Party:
1974: Nixon/Rebozo
2011: Dicks 'n' de bozos.
No fucking way. Look at the way he used to dress, for cripes sake. I'm registering a 0.0 on the gayometer. If he were gay, it would have improved him, as it is, he had no redeeming features whatsoever. If he were gay, there would have to be something.
Stealth.
I refuse to believe it. Even if there is audio of him playing "Daddy/Boy" with Tommy Smothers. Even with polaroids of him doing blow off David Bowie's naked ass with Andy Warhol and Tiny Tim. Even if they have 9mm of him being gang-banged by the entire defensive line of the 1971 Baltimore Colts I REFUSE TO ACCEPT IT.
It is too horrible to contemplate.
Does this theory apply to Parry too? I mean except for the hair and the Brokeback Mtn. fashion thing.
Take a look at some of the pics of him and Bebe "swimming" in the pool at their hide-away. They're both dressed in the pool. (Thank FSM. What is it with these grotesqueries like Gangrene thinking it's okay, or *cringe* hot, to have his photo snapped on vacation with no shirt on?!?) Nixon wore a LOT of pretty fucking gay flowered leisure shirts and printed bermudas. There is an aroma of gay, my friend, a slight one, and a putrid one, but it's there nonetheless.
Actually, most pre-2000s books that mention Nixon and Bebe's relationship speculate that there was no consummation– just a serious, life-long bromance for the ages. Nixon was absolutely homosocial by preference. But then denials of consummation could be due to The Rules of Journalism pre-2000 that required any fluid-producing gayness to be described as "a bond between men who just prefer the company of men so they could smoke and drink and take Seconal* without the presence of nagging bitches."
I find it most likely though, that denials of fluid-exchange were simply the result of the widely-held belief that Nixon was incapable of having sex with anyone, or thing, whatsoever. Which is a pretty strong argument, even decades after his foul flesh has rotted from his evil bones.
* Nixon's favorite cocktail was Scotch – Johnnie Walker Red, I think. This was before Bud Light-drinking lick-spittle fund managers posed with the most expensive single malts they couldn't appreciate – and a handful of Seconal. When I manage to cadge a few out of my ex-hippie, Tricky-loathing shrink, I plan to create the Red Dick cocktail, taking into consideration that the combo usually kills those who haven't already joined Faust on his merry escapades.
" 'Cause in a 69 you know my humpty nose will tickle you rear"
-Richard Nixon-
i think i love you.
but what am i so afraid of?
i'm afraid i'm not sure
of a love Marcus says he has a cure for.
Hubert Humpty LIBEL!!!1!
I see what you did there. Oh man, I bow to you.
Digital Underground and Nixon combined. It's a weird world, alright. Nice one!
Nixon-Rebozo has got to be the worst. gay. pr0n. evar.
This is clearly a dirty trick on the part of the right to stop the Ghayez's agenda by making homosexuality look totally uncool.
Since they long ago disowned Tricky Dick; that's as good an explanation as any.
That and there's always a little money to be made from publishing the the next "OMG Guess Who Was Gay You'll Never Believe It!" unauthorized biography.
I look forward to the John Wayne & Charlton Heston gay bios.
No, not really.
Seriously doubt that RN and Bebe were fuck buddies. Nixon sucked up to him (so to speak) because he had shitloads of money. And, from a historical perspective, why do we need additional stories about what a skeezy motherfucker he was. It's like finding another mass grave attributed to Joe Stalin. We don't need any more evidence. Let him rot in hell.
Old news.
Ruthless Reviews took care of this back in April. http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/11350/the-hidden-p...
And I thought Ronnie was just a dick because of his politics.
For some reason, I can believe the Reagan rape rumors more than the Nixon-was-a-big-showtunes-queen rumors.
…his Navy days, when onboard poker games often descended into fanatical orgies, when the night’s best hand was rewarded with golden showers, Cleveland Steamers, and the occasional Yorba Linda Cupcake….
Wow.
Makes you wonder what Nixon wanted when he told Kissenger "I want you to get down on your knees, Henry."
Sock it to me?
Worst. Bébé's Kids. story pitch. EVAR.
Wasn't Sen. Lindsey Graham serving in the armed forces at this time. Just saying
"serving"… giggle … "serving"
Serving with forced arms? Like arms forced up…..uck, nevermind.
I'm sorry.
That Asian lady behind him seems awfully repulsed…is he playing "2 guys, 1 cup" with Bebe?
Compared to W., Nixon was the statesman of the century.
Compared to W., Stalin was statemanlike.
Different centuries, different millennia, even
Well, after all, Nixon was a known supporter of United Fruit.
Dick, withdraw like your father should have.
What kind of second-rate Queen buys his beard a respectable cloth coat?
"Fulsom claims one of Nixon’s former military aides had a secret job ‘to teach the President how to kiss his wife’ so they would look like a convincing couple."
No, no, no, Mr. President, you don't have to swallow her cock…
"No, Mr. President, you're not supposed to try to stuck the tip of your tongue into her nostril."
Just to check this out, I had my favorite sooth-sayer channel Tricky Dick. The verdict: "I am not a goober-smoocher!" (Gives double victory signs). FIXED!
I sorta think of Nixon as bi, in that he was so socially stilted that he was equally repressed sexually in either direction. And that's still more thought than I want to give to the subject.
In Bebe's defense, he thought Nixon was offering him a position as a cocaine salesman when he said "how about a blow job"?
So that's the real secret behind the 18 minutes of deleted tape…
It was 18 minutes of slurping sounds.
Deep Throat.
Huh. First time I've ever had a kind thought about ol' Rose Mary Woods and her Freedom-saving defective recording foot.
We can thank Helen Gahagan Douglas for the nickname, "Tricky Dick."
~
Perhaps this is why he called her the "Pink Lady…."
Perhaps Marcus Bachmann leaked some false rumors to the reporter as part of his scared straight campaign.
Hidden, forbidden faggotry in the GOP is nothing new is that what you're saying?
Oh for fuck's sake.
"Oh Bebe, oh Bebe …" Explains why Nixon got all sweaty around JFK.
He was sweating because he was trying not to look "too homosexual" on camera.
Nixon a homosexual? Why, that's absurd! The nest thing you know, they'll be saying that J. Edgar Hoover was gay…. What? Oh.
Never mind.
Nothing about "sociopathic workaholic with mommy issues" really screams "gay" to me.
Wow. So he really was Tricky Dick?
All right wingers are GAY! Self hating little Queens.Some are just better at hiding it like Andrew Breitbart.
Andy sure had me fooled. I thought he was totally butch.
Butch? Andy Breitbart,or Andrea as he is known to his friends is a turd burglar.
Emmm…"NO COMMENT."
The pic-
"Nixon and his Boi Toi Poi."
As a straight person with a lot of gay friends, I hope you know what I mean by this, but Richard Nixon and Bebe Rebozo is just plain fucking disturbing – sort of like Gloria Steinhem making out with Larry King.
I can hardly wait for Cheney to kick it so we can hear all the gay stories about him. Those will really give us the willies.
Read Jerry Stahl's short story Bunker Buster. That should tie you over.
"I can hardly wait for Cheney to kick it so we can hear all the gay stories about him."
I'd be content if Cheney were just to kick it.
With the best socialized medicine the American tax-payers can(not) afford, combined with the Devil's Own life-benefit that seems to attach to those most evil (I'm lookin' at you, Strom "Massa's in the Slave House Again" Thurmond), I think we can look forward to a long, wicked, preening, image-rehabilitating dotage for ol' 4-packs a-day-even-after-his-4th-heart-replacement Cheney.
He almost kicked it the first time when he found out he had a lesbian daughter.
And all during that time, who thought there was anything more than subversion of the constitution, illegal wars, plumbing, and the rest. But Queer too?! THAT would be wrong!
So Nixon was as gay as the beach volleyball sequence in "Top Gun?" The thought of him riding someone's tail is too repulsive for words.
"The thought of him riding someone's tail is too repulsive for words."
Although, to be strictly fair, the thought of him having straight sex is also too repulsive for words.
Topic for discussion: what about the thought of him masturbating? Disturbing, or okay? Discuss amongst yourselves. Use specific examples.
I was looking for a reason to stop masturbating & you provided it. Thank you.
Now I have some motivation to get a real sex life.
"what about the thought of him masturbating?"
Pardon me for just a moment, won't you?
*leaves room*
*vomits noisily and violently*
*returns*
There was an online article (fortunately or unfortunately, I can't remember where), about Nixon jerking off while fantasizing about Nancy Reagan.
I believe he was a bottom. I find it instructive that, after the utter hypocrisy, lies, corruption, sanctimonious corporate theft and depravity of the last 30 years, we are actually able to discuss Nixon fucking things, or getting fucked, without all dying of unchecked vomiting. We have declined as a nation.
"Veteran" journalist Don Fulsom? Isn't the name a bit of a clue? Check out his work in this fine "journal".
And hey, Kirsten: thanks for coming in!
Yes, I feared she was abducted by aliens or something.
He was probably just handing Nixon an envelope of "campaign contributions" under the table. After all, everyone got so testy about the grocery bags of cash being left by the door.
haha. you said, "testy."
"During the men-only visits, the twosome reportedly frolicked together in and out of the water, and gushed over their shared passion for Broadway musicals."
Sounds kinda stereotypical to me…
I just threw up on my keyboard….
Nixon, even from beyond the grave, gives new meaning to the phrase "Blowing a joke."
Dude…you got to come OUT of the closet before you IN to the grave.
And when he climaxed, he would cry out "ah-rooooo", like the noise Robot Nixon makes on Futurama.
Oh, God!!
Thanks for turning me off sex forever!!
That did make me laugh, though.
I laughed. A lot. That headless body of Agnew "Arggggghrrhgh!" and Nixon's Futurama "Ah-Rooooo" provided me with moments of pure laughter to break the monotony of the depression that seems to grow at a rate similar to the rate of decline of the empire. Still needs more lions.
Forget "pray away the gay", just read the names of a few of these non-heterosexuals out loud and teh gheys will switch teams faster than Judy Garland can click her heels together.
The mental picture of Bebe and Dick in the throes of passion would be enough to scare a gay man straight – or a gay woman for that matter.
I wonder if Snooky could identify that substance Dick is eating.
(Dick is eating!!! Lol, I kill myself sometimes.)
Last night, on the news, I saw a person identified as a "Santorum Consultant." Did Nixon have one of those?
So, it turns out he had reason to be paranoid.
"Let me make one thing perfectly queer!"
That was followed with "Ooops."
My best friend has just announced her wedding with a great man who is a cele+brity!
They met-via { santorum.com }
It is nice club for rich men or pretty girls mate.
You do not need to be wealthy or famous, but you can meet your true love, it's worthy a try.
So when he said "You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore," he was admitting he was a bottom?
And a masochist.
RIP Cheetah the Chimp (1931-2011) .
At he least he outlived Licky Dick*
* ref Barb
I know Pinche, I saw that. The lucky monkey lived to be 80 years old. They said he would watch football (Tebow?) and fling his poopoodoody when he was mad. But now our vigilant media are calling him into question. Glad to see journalism is as strong as ever.
He probably hated Tebow since we know that all chimps believe in evolution.
WHERE'S CHEETAH'S LONG FORM DEATH CERTIFICATE !!1?!!
I heard he wanted to rip Tebow's face off.
Did Cheetah have an identity crisis because he was named after another animal, a la "A Boy Named Sue"?
Did Tarzan also have a pet cheetah named Monkey?
What a mind job (perhaps to enable interspecies buttsecks?) In any case, Tarzan was a dick.
I should have known something was up when he drove through Venezuela in that motorcade and the people there pelted his limo with raw eggs and he rolled down the window, scooped up some of the egg drip in his fingers, put it in his mouth and said (in Spanish), "Reminds me of something I like to scoop up off of Bibi Ribosa's chest hair!"
Ahh, that's a film clip I never tire of.
Why is Dick Nixon's right hand attacking him, Dr. Strangelove-style, in that photo?
Unfortunately for our nation and the world, his left hand came to his defense.
"Why is Dick Nixon's right hand attacking him, Dr. Strangelove-style"
THAT's the title of that movie where the strangler's hand gets run over and escapes and goes around strangling people?? I thought it was "The Horrible Haunted Hand". Anyway, MST3K does a great job with it.
tessiee:
There is no doubt "Dr. Strangelove" is a classic. Still hilarious. According to the book "The Dead Hand," it turns out the Doomsday Machine actually existed.
When satire becomes reality you know you're in Dick Nixon's world.
The horrible thing for Dick, though, was when he and Bebe had to chill their illicit romance, Dick lost his entire Barbara Streisand record collection.
I must be in a weird space today, because the idea of that poor loveless bastard holding hands with someone under the table just makes me sad.
perhaps I'm coming down with something, and am feverish.
Maybe it's a combi-virus of spinal meningitis, dengue and Marburg. And don't worry about that old saw. Dead men do snark.
Check his graveside for a candy dish, a Joan Crawford postcard, and a bottle of mineral water.
oh, come on. a lot of people drink mineral water. it's come a long way.
Yes, but these are Republicans. I mean, if you don't have a brewski in your hand, you might as well be wearing a dress.
Es-kimo.
My President is a homosexual, and I love him. I LOVE MY DEAD GAY PRESIDENT
Oh for God's sake, have you ever seen a picture of Bebe Rebozo? Why must you always plant images that disturb my enjoyment of buttsecks, mean Kirsten Boyd Johnson?
So: Trick Dick's tricky dick spent some time in Bebe's Log Cabin?
Yet, Nixon had more heart (soul, whatever) than ANY GOP candidate currently riding in the GOP clown car.
OT: Add "cheating sore loser" to Newt's long list.
I just got a non-Kardashian related CNN breaking news : "A person hired to collect names to get Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich on the ballot for the Virginia primary turned in fraudulent signatures"
So, that means we will get to hear about how this person was a Democratic plant. Probably even a former ACORN agent.
Pretty much
Whoa!
Good thing I was sittng down, or I probably would have fainted from shock!
[Yawn]. Call me when Reagan's secret lover comes forward, with photos.
That's just all sorts of wrong.
You go and apologize to the fairies RIGHT THIS MINUTE, young lady!
I don't think rape victims consider themselves to be lovers, in the strictest sense of the word.
I wish we still had Nixon to kick around.
Yeah. That's a
Bohenercan that is fun to kick down the road.I suppose you could dig him up.
We'll have George W. Bush, Revered Elder Statesman, sooner than we know.
Just not as fun though. Nixon was, aside from the fact that his criminality sparked the decline of the Presidency and American Democracy, a truly sick fuck: plagued with very, very serious and interesting neuroses. He was hated always, by others and himself. He spent his entire life feeling despised and ridiculed. And he knew it. He saw a fancy New York shrink for 40-something years. The shrink btw is awesome, Dr. Hutschnecker. Check out some of his writings and comments on the sociopath-in-chief.
Nixon had twisted, murky, strange depth. And a brain. He was psychotic; he had mommy issues of staggering proportion; his paranoia was staggering; he was a being trapped in a hellish psyche taking it out on others. But he was not stupid, not even close. He was a pig-fucking criminal of the first magnitude. The parallels between him and Richard the III do not stretch belief. In other words, he was worthy of being kicked around.
Nevertheless, as is the way of the world, Geo. W. Bush will be rehabilitated as a Wise Elder Statesman and we'll have to listen to him misspeak, pronounce inanities, and giggle and sneer for another 40 years. And most of the American people will internalize the propaganda and will give him his due as a wise former leader of great consequence. The war on education has certainly achieved many of its goals.
Stalin (and the tories of the 19th C., and ruling classes everywhere) always recognized the danger of eduction and, worse yet, education that encourages critical thought. Our Klown Kar passengers, despite their astonishing ignorance, would find themselves nodding their heads in agreement with many of Stalin's opinions. It's all about division, control and suppression.
So, the myteriously erased 18.5 minutes of the Nixon Tapes was the recording of Nixon giving head to the Joint Chiefs?
Satan: Richard Nixon!
Nixon: But I'm not dead yet!
Satan: Shut up!
Nixon [submissively]: Yes, Master.
– Simpsons "forbidden donut" ep
Seeing a pic of Bebe made me think of another Simspons moment. The gay Latino lothario trying to seduce Grandpa Simpson: "Your neck skin dances when you talk."
(Use a Ricardo Montalban accent when you read it.)
"Gave a couple to Bebe Rebozo… gave a couple to Pat Boone… gave a couple to the new Vice-President… he said he'd stick with me through thick and thin…"
Yeah, Zappa was in the know.
Frank was always a fairly astute observer of American life.
OT: What happened to that one Wonkette ad with the self-published Kindle novel about Bill Clinton, Private Detective? The book cover should have featured Bill fellating a giant cigar, or nekkid with his heels covering up Little Willy.
Next someone is going to claim that dick was "spray-painting" Robert Abplanalp on those trips to Walker's Cay.
say what you want but compared to current GOP field Tricky Dick is like Mahatma Gandhi
at least he was a tree huger,, that should count for something
It's settled: Richard Nixon was the ORIGINAL Teabagger.
If the Tea Party wants to revive their "movement" they should probably run with that.
Next you'll tell me that Nixon's "V" sign wasn't really for vagina.
Just the thought of Nixon frolicking at all, gives me the willies.
Heeby-Jeebies too!
Or as Dick
would saysaid, "The Heebies are all over the government…generally speaking, you can't trust the bastards. They turn on you. Am I wrong or right?"Gamboling, frisking, and capering are still OK, though, right?
OT
Cable Newz Nuthouse reports a frothy explosion in the Iowa poll. Looks like Jebus love has turned Santorum into a floater who is rising above his previous polling ménage à trois with his evangelical fellows Batshit She1ey and Little Dickie Rickie.
Romney on top, Santorum rising.
I was wondering when the Frothmeister was going to get his 15 minutes as Not Mitt.
Oh, man, this is going to be great! Republican Big-Money Command Central clearly is emptying out the safes full of damaging information they've kept on ice just in case they needed to destroy Shelley, Cain, Paul, Newtie,… The moment they pull ahead of the Dauphin, trash bins full of crippling revelations suddenly appear in Republican-connected organs and above the bylines of the usual reliable stenographers of Republican party lines. (Leaving Rush nothing to do about the collapse of yet another candidate he's been puffing except to huff about the eeeeevil Demon-Rats who somehow engineered it all, when presumably they either kept out of it, or even did everything they could to keep the latest Fire-ship candidate from sinking before doing maximum damage.)
So now we're going to hear the reams of Santorum-scuttling material spewing forth from RBMCC for about a week and a half, 24/7. Oh, baby! – I wonder if I can stay home in front of my computer, claiming to be sick for that long.
Could it be there's more to that award Santorum engineered for Penn State Assistant Coach and Chief Molester Jerry Sandusky? (Please, please, pleeeeeezzzze!…)
Or maybe (oh, I can hardly even type it I lust for this revelation so much) it will turn out to be providential that Spotted Rick pulled ahead of Mittens at the beginning of Tranuary?
There's a Tranuary now? Or have just I not being paying attention long enough?
Naw, I just made it up. Or rather, I made it up about a month or so in a different connection, and drag it out of the root cellar whenever situations seem to call for it.—
Just when you think they've finally hit rock bottom, they break through and reach Santorum! The Great White (sortof) Foam has been unleashed!
The Froth Also Rises. Also.
Bah, this story is still not as queasy as an interview some 20+ years ago where Nixon said he wished there was rap when he was young, as it might have gotten him interested in a career in music. Mind you, Trick Master Dickie always was as gangsta as they come.
Huh. That's something. MC TrickyD.
I'm mired in the depths of a foetid pool of melancholia, if I surface, perhaps I'll turn my pen to writing some rhymes for TrickyD. So much potential material. Before the Aughts did me in, I had started creating a track with Nixon audio samples.
It's in the photo. Dr. Strangelove disorder. Clear and simple. Explains pert-near-all !
All I could think of is Bebe Gallini. The fancy snotty lady that wanted Mike to design a weird building in the shape of some make-up thing for her. I guess this is a different Bebe.
Seriously. I dare you to name a single other head of state who would pick "eating a corndog" during a game of Charades. Go ahead, try. It can't be done.
Perhaps you are unfamiliar with the black-hole of highly energetic, ionized doofus particles that is Steven Harper.
I used to say, "the chicks just call me Nixon". This news wrecks that joke.
Watch out when your sucking his dick. That Bebe will put your eye out.
I finally get that Laugh-In line, "Sock it to ME?"
Tricky Dick, Bebe and J. Edgar walk into a bar…
I think the punchline is 'Checkers'.
Love the "flirty eyes" that Hoover is giving Bebe.
Yeah, no kidding.
If I could do the Fuck Eye like that, I'd rule the world.
WaterGAYte.
Why did Nixon watch Deep Throat 3x?
He wanted to get it down Pat.
How come when Dan Rather was the CBS correspondent to Tricky Dick's White House he never asked the Prez if Bebe or Nixon got the upper berth?
Just the idea of it and the immediate picture that comes to mind can make anyone throw up.
Before he was into Ken Layne's Cranberry Sauce punishing him, Ol' Dick was the punisher.
(Cannot wait for speculative "undead presidents" scenarios to hit kink.com.)
Dick, with Kirsten Dunst? Who's the Brit?
Well, I heard Kirsten Dunst's hoohah was sideways, and that's a British thing, right?
No one recalls this tidbit from the old National Lampoon,"The Boys in the Bund" starring "Dixie Nixon"? The person who unearthed it reprints it for strictly informational purposes on the grounds that it is an attempt to fagbait Tricky Dick. Well, I guess we all know better now: http://ukjarry.blogspot.com/2009/04/252-k-y-comic...
Oh, that's AWFUL. I wonder whom I should select as the potential victim-recipient for this one?
That's right! You guessed it!
All of them, Katie.
My friends and fambly are all gonna be hatin' on you so hard as I mow them down, one by one.
I mean, srsly. Do I *look* like someone who needs encouragement for this kinda shit?
Eddie the Eagle is Gay.
Of course, there's the Ronald Reagan/Steve McQueen rumored affair. Reagan did seem like a chicken hawk .
I'd be more than happy to appall you, but you're going to have to be more specific.
What, exactly, are you deploring here: Richard Nixon's existence, Richard Nixon's gayness, or Richard Nixon's choice of Bebe Rebozo as his gay lover? I'm sure that, given the opportunity to snark, the assembled multitudes of the Wonketteverse could find *something* to appall you with in any or all of those things.
Duh. Everyone, I mean everyone around the forest knew that years ago. The giveaway was when he averted his eyes every time a tit flew by.
Santorum's not so stupid that he doesn't *know* that nutcases of a background similar to his see his words as tacit approval for their acts in furtherance of the vicious ideas he espouses. When they actually get caught with their knickers down, these nutbags are vociferous and quick in their attempt to disassociate themselves from the Loughners and similar crazies. They're doing the same thing fascist provocateurs routinely practised during their time: put the inflammatory ideas out there and wait for others to act on them.
Yes, there's something really wrong with these people. Let's hope the whole country soon wakes up to the threat they pose, and pushes them out of the public space.
What's most wrong with them is that they call themselves Christians. And yet they would have us believe that "do unto others" is the foundation of Judeo-Christian morality.
"If the script called for him to take a manly hairbeast to bed, he would have tupped George Clooney with just as much enthusiasm as he displays for his current temple-approved wifebot"
I'm sensing the potential for a pr0n movie here. "Catcher's Mitt"?
^^
^
Nobody who is not related to me could possibly be that uncomprehending of the law of cause and effect.
Frothy realizes, on some level, that the gayfolks don't like him because he constantly harangues them, but thinks they should accept verbal abuse because that's what they deserve; and She Who Shall Not be Named, as brain-dead as she is, realizes that putting gunsights over people's faces is going to encourage the stupid and violent to shoot them. It's plausible deniability, and clumsily done plausible deniability at that.
Tabasco is so much better.
All of them, Kathy.
(1) My family was There At The Beginning. Some of you Liberal Communist Pinko SKum may have started hating Nixon (retroactively, perhaps, for you younger KCPSK) when he ran against Helen Gaghagan Douglas for the Senate in 1950.
Johnny-Come-(or perhaps more appropriately "Cum")-Latelys, the lot of you.
In contrast, me Australian Mum began hating Nixon when he ran against Jerry Voorhis for the House in 1946. It is with deepest regret when I think that she died this year, before she could have read that Dick was a Flaming Poofter.
(2) The idea that Nixon was gay should make any self-respecting homo immediately "Go Straight." Without the Tender Ministrations of Marcus Bachmann.
(3) The choice of Bebe Rebozo as a "Boy Toy" makes J. Edgar Hoover relationship with Clyde Tolson look like Damon and Pythias.
But, seriously, nothing you Communist Liberal Pinko SKum could really appall me. To borrow from that Bog Irish, No Talent Dirtbag, Elvis Costello: "I used to be disgusted. Now I'm just amused . . . ."
Neilist, Wonkette Adjunct Director
Committee To Re-Elect The President ("CREEP")
The Basement
Watergate Hotel
Washington, D.C.
I think, you know, grandchildren now don’t write a thank-you for the Christmas presents, they’re walking on their pants with the cap on backwards listening to the enema man…
Not just the enema man – also that snoopy poopy poop dog!
Having been raised on I Love Lucy, I was very disappointed to grow up and learn that the charming "You got some splainin to do" is not what most men yell when they are really, really mad.
Let's do it! Bet it will sell *really* well in Utal.
I meant, "they'll kill *me,*" but grazie!
I thought it might be grey poop-on
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