Barack Obama is on vacation in Hawaii, where he is sampling the taste of the local infants.

It’s sort of cute, until you realize this child is probably already halfway to Gitmo.


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  • chascates

    And so the socialist Kenyan does feed off our children!

  • He decided to chomp on the blondest, whitest baby on the islands.

    • mayor_quimby

      My people are from a different group of islands, but the eatin' white babies for Christmas tradition is the same. I am still full….

      • Hey, my people too! Mmm-mmm, good.

      • horsedreamer_1

        If by "white babies", you mean "attractive Sunset Strip jock chasers", then you & I are so money. & we know it.

        • mayor_quimby

          I'm pretty sure that my peeps are known for cannibalizing outsiders, jerk bbq style, but your tradition sounds much more DVD-worthy.
          I would like to subscribe to your (F-F-M) pamphlet.
          EDIT – You are so money, and I am so totally out of references here, that I need a thesaurus.

    • Probably the only damn haole baby on the islands, and Barack had to go eat him.

  • TheJasonAlexanderFanClub

    'ssamatter, Barry? Baby got yer tongue?

  • Barb

    Waterboarding this kid should be easy, probably could use an eyedropper.

    • flamingpdog

      Let's try this again and see if Intense Debate will accept it this time:

      Gives new meaning to the car window sticker, "Baby on Board".

    • It's called "enhanced parenting", not "waterboarding".

    • Toss a wet diaper across him face.

    • Negropolis

      Oh Barb, that was really good.

  • That baby is no baby!

    • ZOMG, it's a SEKRIT Muslin Turrrrrrst BayBee! Thank deity Prez Barack is equipped with the All-Seeing Eye and swiftly responded to Protect and Save America Herself by biting off the Li'l Turrrrrst's fingers!

  • just another birther looking for proof.

    • Arken

      He was checking Obama's dental records.

    • flamingpdog

      Where's the tongue-form birf certificate?

  • Just finger-lickin' good!

  • proudgrampa

    Can't wait for Fux News to interpret this event. Probably something along the lines of "Worst Massacre in Hawaii since Pearl Harbor!"

    • dadanarchist

      They'll play the old Twilight Zone episode, "To Serve Man," and claim it as an exclusive home video from Barry Hussein's college days…

      • I mean, he's actually been FORCED to DENY that he is SPOCK!

        But I saw him give the Vulcan salute, and I know he's an (illegal) alien.

    • It just shows that Obama is morally weak. Duh.

  • Not to get all kinky where it's uncalled for (but of course it is, called for): this explains maybe how mutating Michelle Obama grew her third hand?

  • sbj1964

    I ATE A BABY! Get in my Belly !

  • dadanarchist

    "Blonde, rolly-polly white babies are meringues, essentially." – Megyn Kelly

  • flamingpdog

    Uh huh, and exactly where is the left hand of that little kid getting the life squeezed out of him at 0:07? Why is the Preznit laughing so hard?

  • Arken

    That kid is going to be able to tell one heck of an anecdote if he's able to survive the detention camps.

  • user-of-owls

    When the President says he wants finger food, he means it.

  • sbj1964

    Tastes like Chicken.

    • Biff

      Tastes like chicken Spam.

  • V572 the Merciless

    At K-Bay, they start 'em young.

  • That little germ factory probably just assassinated our president with some horrible diaper spawned bacteria.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Biological terrorism?

    • user-of-owls

      Mrs. Owls works at an elementary school. I swear those places, especially in the younger grades, are an unholy cross between an EPA Superfund site and a bio-warfare laboratory.

      Last year I got a combi-virus of spinal meningitis, dengue and Marburg that she brought home from school. I died from it, which is why I'm dead. Really. Can you see me? No you cannot. That means I am dead. From the combi-virus, from my wife, from the elementary school. The end.

      • Blueb4sunrise

        You got all of them? Katie.
        Bar the door.

      • Loaded_Pants

        Oh yes, I do have fond memories from elementary where we were a very snotty, coughy bunch. Not to mention the 4th grade chicken pox outbreak, the regular occurrence of lice, and the kid that had watery diarrhea in kindergarten.

      • flamingpdog

        The ex-Ms.pdog did daycare in the home for 10 years and I was sick for ten years. Hardly ever used any sick leave for myself in all the years since. I'd wear a NASA space suit to vist the grandchillun if they were in daycare themselves instead at home with the pdogette.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        When I did my internship at Armwood Highschool back in the day, over the course of the semester I came down with:

        two colds
        one flu
        one case of strep throat


        Mother fucking Chickenpox!!

        Given this was a rural school, I'm surprised I didn't come down with Neosporosis

        • finallyhappy

          Definitely I have had more colds./illnesses this year since I am working with school kids and tourist kids(bringing god knows what from god knows where)

      • I never thought I'd say this to someone; I'm sorry you're dead.

        • user-of-owls

          Eh, you learn to live with it.

          • LesBontemps

            The trick is keeping up with the commenting, apparently.

          • user-of-owls

            P-Score Potential > Autonomic Nervous System.

          • LesBontemps

            At times, Wonketeering has given me the strength to go on. But there's probably an equal number of times that Wonkette has had me longing for my death panel.

          • user-of-owls

            Tired of waiting for a Panel that never seems to come? Frustrated by commenters who can't snark, can't spell and sure as hell can't punctuate? Wish that you weren't utterly Pavlovian when it comes to random, infrequent posts here?

            Now you can avoid all this by following one simple tip: Die! That's right, Death is this generation's Life, the solution to all the vexing problems that arise from continued corporeal existence. Call today for my free introductory pamphlet! It's time to quit living and start dying!

      • This is why elementary school personnel are advised not to marry for the duration of their term. It's bad enough *they're* exposed to the little germbags.

  • flamingpdog

    I'm surprised Barry settled for the fingers. You'd think he'd want to eat the haole baby.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Wing Nut Daily headline: "President Snacks on Innocent Baby's Fingers. Proof Of His Pro-Cannibal Policies!"

    • Mariecohn

      WIN, Mr Fpd, giving rise to much laughter and many deep bows from Maui.

      • LesBontemps

        You mean Mau Mau-i.

    • Bad (smack!), bad (smack!) pdog!

      And, you said it first, damn your eyes.

  • Come here a minute

    A military tribunal would be too good for that tiny-fingered monster.

  • Obama's just fulfilling that old William Blake prophecy-like verse:

    "I will not cease from Mental Fight,
    Nor shall my Sword sleep in its scabb'rd:
    Till I have noshed on all the digits
    Of ev'ry plump and pleasant babeh"

    • Limeylizzie

      That seriously is my favourite piece of music , makes me cry like a baby.

      • I had no idea it was set to that music, which I am familiar with.
        Growing up we had this playing on my mother's turntable often, far as Jerusalem-themed pieces: "The Holy City", which I'm finding online either by Jessye Norman, whom I am in awe of, but the full choir version we had was closer to this by Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
        Neither measures up to what I listened to back then, however.

      • flamingpdog

        Hey, Lizzie, I read in the "American Prospect" the day before yesterday about how "One older woman, a Manhattanite volunteering at the park but not living there, set to knitting wool hats in preparation for winter." That wasn't you, was it? (Not that I can picture you as an "older woman", mind you.)

  • user-of-owls

    Ok, I want you people to follow this very carefully. I'll start with the conclusion, then work backward through the obvious, logical causal chain:

    1. O-Hitler did 9/11
    2.…because he hates NY
    3.…because it’s ‘Heimytown’
    4.…because Jewish refugees
    5.…from the Netherlands bought it
    6.…from the Indians for shiny trinkets
    7.[…because, hey, Jews, right?]
    8.…which prevents him from bombing Israel
    9….for his lover Mullah Omar
    10.…but back to the Tulip-Heads
    11.…who cheated the Noble Savages
    12.…anyway, where was I?
    13.…right, the Dutch
    14.…[who are also skinflints, connect the dots!]
    15.…who all would have drowned
    16.…like bubonic rats
    17.…as Nature intended
    18.…if it wasn’t for that retard Hans Brinker
    19.…who pulled his finger outta his ass
    20.…just long enough to jam it
    21.…in a leaky dyke dike
    22.…and that’s obviously why
    23.…Mao-bama is chewing the fingers
    24.…off a white baby
    25.…just like Saul Alinsky taught him to.

    I know this is true because it was in an email forwarded to me by my church pastor. Wake up sheeple!

    • flamingpdog

      Barry, is that you??? I always thought you commented at Wonkette, but I had you pegged as one of the other commenters.

    • Ron Paul? Is that you?

    • horsedreamer_1

      You know who else was called Dutch?

    • ChernobylSoup

      All those eggheads running around CERN and Owls has the Grand Unified Theory all sorted out right here.

  • Babies know who has a soul. I'd dare anyone to let their kid anywhere near Newty's piehole.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Actually, I think the baby was reaching in thinking, "hey…there used to be a soul here, wasn't there?"

  • True story this guy is a good friend of mine from high school, saw the pics on his fb yesterday. He's a Marine captain who served overseas and an awesome guy

    • Geminisunmars

      He looks a little young to have graduated high school, much less be a Marine. But with finger dexterity like that I suppose he could manage the fb.

      • I haven't seen him since graduation actually since he's been in the Marines but we've got our ten year reunion comin up soon.

    • Be sure to ask him how the President liked (the taste of) his baby!

  • "No spine, huh? How about if I eat a living white baby on camera while laughing at it? Is that tough enough for you?"

  • Loaded_Pants

    "And I'll eat the bones, too!"

  • ttommyunger

    …alert Secret Service Agents then immediately wrestled the infant to the ground.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      After which, pursuant to new NDAA rules, the baby was taken to an undisclosed location.

      • ttommyunger

        HOOOOhhhrraaaaaah! Number One, Number One!

    • gullywompr

      Should I be proud or embarrassed to be old enough to remember the origin of that joke?

      • ttommyunger

        You should be proud to have lived long enough to know its origin. If I'm not mistaken, it was a SatNtLive line, Chevy Chase, maybe; back when it was funny.

  • BarackMyWorld

    You can take the anti-colonial African tribesman out of the jungle, but not the jungle out of the anti-colonial African tribesman.

    • sbj1964

      Tarzan was his grandfather! The good Tarzan Johnny Weismuller

    • GOPCrusher


  • arihaya

    just like what Glenn Beck said: "This person [Barry] ate white people, and white culture."

  • Limeylizzie

    I would have no problem with Barry eating me.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      and now I'm nicely set up for the week.

      • Limeylizzie

        Happy to be of service.

        • Dashboard Buddha

          You never disappoint…always delight

        • Steverino247

          That's what Barry said…

    • Negropolis

      And, I take it the fingers would only be the start.

  • Dear Miss Manners,

    Should baby meat be eaten with the fingers?

    – Hungry in Hawaii

    • flamingpdog

      Gives new meaning to the words "home-prepared baby food".

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Dear Hungry in Hawaii,

      Eating baby with or without fingers depends entirely on the type of dinner party one chooses to hold. If it is a formal dinner, baby fingers are considered gauche, even rude. Whereas if the soiree is of a more relaxed nature, say a riparian picnic or a cook out, then your guests will almost certainly be on the lookout for the tender morsels.

      – Miss Manners

  • I know it's boxing day, but jeez, somebody make some news!

    Da Wonkette is becoming Katie Couric

  • LetUsBray

    The prez is just doing his Cheney impression.

  • Geminisunmars

    I ate a baby and I liked it.

  • ingloriousbytch

    That baby was really trying to get a cheek swab from Obama so the Tea Party could test his DNA and discover once and for all what part of Africa he was born in. Or he was trying to set off the cyanide capsule Obama has buried in his teeth.

    For real though, Barry sure has some serious mojo over white babies. Almost as much as Michelle has over Marines.

    • I'm impressed. Babies generally react to me by shrieking and freaking out. My preferred method of quieting them (always works) is to immediately leave the vicinity. Either Barack has some kind of baby-soothing pheromone or every camera around him mysteriously goes dead when he's holding a baby and it gets upset. He hath charms, it seems, to soothe the savage beast.

  • PuglyDoRight

    Babies sure love this guy.

  • Naturally Newt and the Go-Pee'ers feel that if Obama is eating people, they should come out in support of people eating politicians.

    If you want this posting to be about oral sex, turn to page 32.
    If you want this posting to be about Newt's whale-like physique, turn to page 45.

    • HistoriCat

      Choose Your Own Adventures has really gone downhill.

  • SayItWithWookies

    The problem with Hawaiian food is that half an hour later you feel like eating another baby.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Kid watched too much Mystery Science Theater, and then thought it would be funny to say, "Bite me, pal."

    I'M HUGE!

  • Baby. It's what's for dinner.

  • BarackMyWorld
  • fartknocker

    Maybe the dingo ate your baby.

    I'm sure I screwed that up after watching Anthony Bourdain's "The Layover", drinking bourbon and curled up on my couch with my wife, who also consumed some single barrel Jack Daniels. Sorry but I had a Seinfeld moment. Corrections and/or embellishments are welcome.

    Old married Wonketters in South Austin.

    • Sounds like y'all had a wonderful holiday. Warm hugs to you both.

  • DaRooster

    Baby- The whitest White Meat.

  • HedonismBot

    Through force of habit, Obama tried taking a drag.

    • Are you implying that babies are a drag?

      • HedonismBot

        I'm implying that Obama wanted a cigarette. Because he's morally weak.

  • Zombama: Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanes we can believe in.

  • El Pinche

    Mmmmm white babies are the best. Taste like veal.

  • Negropolis

    Mmmmm….White babies: the other other white meat.

    Hide yo wives, hide yo husbands, and hide you babies, 'cause 'Bama's eatin' erreybody up in here.

  • Negropolis

    Didn't you hear? Children under 10 get into Gitmo free!

  • Soylent Green

    Lucky the kids not in New Jersey meeting up with Chris Christi.

  • Finally, someone finally had a valid reason to be acting like a baby around President Obama.

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