Fancy Old Man In Bejeweled Golden Hat Warns of 'Christmas Glitter'

A creepy old priest-king clad in Prada slippers, flowing robes of silken embroidery and an enormous bejeweled golden hat warned Christians that the true meaning of Christmas was being lost to a sinful pursuit of "glitter."

The man, former Hitler Youth soldier Joseph Ratzinger of Bavaria, has somehow become the leader of the Roman church supposedly established by Peter, the confidant of Jesus. (It is the birth of Jesus that is celebrated today, on the old Julian calendar's December 25 -- Winter Solstice / Mithra's Birthdate -- and now known as Christmas!) Anyway, the wealthy, powerful old man in the jeweled golden hat lectured Catholics dressed in holiday finery during a spectacular Christmas Eve mass to "see through the superficial glitter of this season and to discover behind it the child in the stable in Bethlehem."

The BBC reports on this major world media event led by the elegantly attired "Holy Father":

Pope Benedict XVI has attacked the commercialisation of Christmas, as he held the traditional Christmas Eve Mass at St Peter's Basilica in Rome.

In his homily, he urged worshippers to "see through the superficial glitter of this season and to discover behind it the child in the stable in Bethlehem".

The Pope also lamented the enduring presence of violence in the world.

The Pope did not, obviously, lament the enduring presence of pedophilia in his impossibly wealthy global church. Merry Christmas! Don't let your children get stuck alone in the cathedral with any priests! [ BBC via Wonkette Xmas Elf "Minion 43728970"]