it gets better

Homophobic Anti-Robot Bachmann Thugs Bully Gay Iowa Robot

Another bad day for Strong Sad.It was another day of thuggery on the Iowa campaign trail as Michele Bachmann’s remaining followers mercilessly booed and taunted a sad gay robot. The pudgy homosexual android just wanted to make a case for itself, but the slob wingnuts just chanted BOOOOO because that’s how they “cure homosexuality.” Speaking of pudgy gay robots, has anyone seen Marcus Bachmann lately?

In many ways, this is the precious story of Christmas all over again: The sad outsider only wants shelter from the Iowa cold, and also to heckle a demon (Michele Bachmann), but there’s “no room at the sports bar” for this mother of god:

Here’s some more heartwarming Gay Iowa Robot video, from outside the manger:

Sponsored Video

Hark the herald angels sing, glory to our robot king, peace on Earth, good will towards gays, God gave Marcus Bachmann AIDS. [NY Daily News]

Related

About the author

Wonkette Jr., everybody! Hooray!

View all articles by Wonkette Jr.

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

132 comments

    1. Walkinwiddaking

      I vision a wide-eyed Michelle Bachman thanking the Gay Robot Soldier for their servicing her husband.

  1. memzilla

    Dear Crazy Eyes Supporters:

    You only out yourselves when you make Hatred your Number One campaign tactic.

    And to Ol' Crazy Eyes herself: you wanna run a campaign based on hatred and disunion, go campaign in Uganda or Zimbabwe or North Korea or Somalia, someplace where you can have all the AK-47-mandated power you crave.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      Not just one L but most of the GOP candidates. Paul, Perry, Gingrich–they all seem to think that if they became Prez, they could do whatever the fuck they want, which is exactly how dictators think.

  2. V572 the Merciless

    Which insane legislator or legislature wanted an exemption from an anti-bullying law if their religion required them beat up homos?

      1. V572 the Merciless

        Seems fair. The Michigan legislature should definitely spend its time deciding how to legalize bullying instead of trying to create jobs, help Detroit, or clean up past environmental messes. It's a matter of priorities.

      1. Negropolis

        Well, Michigan is under Sharia Law, after all, according to the wingnuts (and The Simpsons), so it all makes so much sense, now, on (false) context

    1. flamingpdog

      They would have welcomed him with open arms if he had been wearing a diaper at a rally in Louisiana.

        1. Geminisunmars

          Jaysuss – I've seen that every year for some years now, and I'm always taken unawares by the endiing.

        2. Isyaignert

          You are so going to h3ll for that one! I'll see ya down there as I shared it with my friends. LOL!!

    1. Callyson

      What, no love for The Angel Makers book advertised on the side here? With this plot?
      With their men at war, the women of a small village discover a freedom they'll hold onto at any cost
      Someone send a copy to Shelly, stat…

  3. valgal2342

    Why didn't Marcus jump in and try to reprogram the homobot?

    Meanwhile, somewhere far from Alpha Centauri, Will Robinson weeps.

  4. SexySmurf

    I know this isn't a popular thing to say, but I believe robots are unnatural. Sorry, it was just the way I was raised.

    1. Chichikovovich

      I think that's very narrow minded of you. We should be accepting of those among us who happen to be robots, so long as they never act on their robosexual desires.

      1. tessiee

        "their robosexual desires"

        It's one thing to be roBosexual, and quite another to be roMosexual.
        But that's just the way Robot Jesus programmed them.

        1. Chichikovovich

          Romosexual? Is that where you make sexytime with the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys?
          (As in: "Jessica Simpson used to be a romosexual, but then she dumped him. Or he dumped her. Whatever – some dumping took place.")

  5. cheetojeebus

    This Christmas we are all sleek metallic fellas with a desire to be accepted, and also a desire to be neat and tidy. god bless us each and everyone.

  6. weejee

    Happy Newtonmas to all.

    ♪♫ We three quarks fine particles are
    Bearing charm we travel afar
    Fields and forces, spin of course is
    Multiplied by h-bar

    Oh, quarks are wondrous, quarks are light
    Quarks have colors, clear and bright
    Still misleading, still exceeding
    All the physicists' insight ♫♪

    1. V572 the Merciless

      Okay, but if physicists are calling the Higgs-Boson "the God Particle," that proves doG exists and it's okay to hate gays.

      1. weejee

        'Scusies, but the sciguy writer Leon Lederman wanted to call his book about the Higgs the Goddamn Particle 'cause they couldn't find the goddamn thing. His editor, however, said no. Ergogo, from a science paradigm:
        ♀♂ = ♀♀ = ♂♂ = solo fapping

        So a very festive spiritual, scientific, or secular Merry XmasHanukkahKwanzaaAshuraNewtonmas to all

  7. finallyhappy

    Not that I care about Andrew Sulllivan but just saw the article where he retracted his support of Paul-still not agreeing he is a racist but sort of saying he is responsible for the newsletters. Next week, I expect Sullivan to say Paull is a racist.

    1. Geminisunmars

      I thought they were unhappy that he was a poorly attired gay robot – isn't that some sort of oxymoron?

  8. flamingpdog

    And what the virgin mother fucking hell is Che1y doing campaigning on the eve of the birfday of her LORD AND SAVIOR™???? Maybe that's really Robot Bachmann there?

  9. ThundercatHo

    Y'all are just lucky that he didn't come to your fucking "event" with a glitter bomb strapped to his chest. Way to celebrate the love and tolerance of your savior. Assholes.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      Secretly, Marcus would have loved the glitter bomb. After it went off, he'd start dancing in the rain of glitter.

    2. Spurning Beer

      Slightly OT, did you see Mitt's snide wisecrack to a reporter who asked what he would wish for President Obama? "A permanent vacation," he quipped.

      Imagine any reporter you want asking Barack the same question. See if you can imagine him being nasty and petty like that.

      Call Barack morally weak or spineless, but he is a gentleman. Unlike these Christian wannabes.

      1. Callyson

        I agree, Mitt…the President deserves a permanent vacation from obstructionist Republicans.
        What a jerk…I wish his dog would bite him in the ass.

  10. flamingpdog

    Well, Happy Darwinmus to all 15 or so Wonketeers so far that haz nothing better to do on this day than lurk or just happen to get lucky and log onto teh Wonkette around the time a new post comes up on the board. Hopefully by the time I finish writing this I won't face the embarassment of three consecutive comments, but I just had to tell you I luvs ya all, ya keep me from getting too cranky and punchy holes in my refrigerator box when the stoopid gets almost too much to bear, and I hope you all live to be a hundred (and for some of us, that isn't all that far off).

    I'd post some hilarious Darwinus poetry, but I have only scienterrific talents, not the poetic kind. (I actually got through college without taking a single English course because I was able to opt out because of my English Advanced Placement scores.) And to those of you who don't worship Chas Darwin or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, sincere wishes for a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Wonderful Winter Solstice, Kwality Kwanzaa, or the celebration of whatever imaginary friend you bow down to.

    1. One_Man_Band

      I'm at my parents for the weekend BUT THEY HAVE WIRELESS NOW.

      I brought my laptop.

      Best Christmas ever.

    2. Geminisunmars

      Wonkette is how I procrastinate. Thank g-ddess there was a new post. And thank you for your comment, FlamingP. Wonketteers have helped me laugh at this bizarro world many a time. Now I'd better go get those walks shoveled before the phambly starts arriving. (Just kidding – let them struggle through the drifts if they want their frigging presents.) And merry Krishnamas to all, and to all lots of light.

    3. V572 the Merciless

      Well, the Italian relatives are visiting. They're delightful but we share no common language, so here I am at my place, giving the GF a respite from endless simultaneous translation. Season's greetings to all!

    4. Loaded_Pants

      We finished with shopping today (we ran over only one old lady with our shopping cart this year). The tree is still naked because the cat has been fucking with it since we put it up, so we were just seeing what damage she'd do to it first. Finally decided: Fuck it, we'll just put the lights on it but not the ornaments (we have a shitload of ornaments).

      Having over three orphans for dinner tomorrow. One's a Brit with a wicked sense of humor so I can't wait to ask her her opinions about…well, hell…anything. The wine will be plenty. So I'm looking forward to the goose & my post-dinner black out. Monday morning, I'll wake up, once again, to the living nightmare that's now America.
      Happy Whatever, everyone!

  11. One_Man_Band

    Can't we have another post about Ron Paul and his racist newsletters? It's so much fun seeing members of the reEVOLution get all pissed off.

    1. Callyson

      These days, it's the best part of going to HuffyPo. They do get themselves worked up, don't they? Hee hee hee…

  12. coolhandnuke

    Mr. Marcus Roboto

    I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin
    My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M.
    So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised
    I'm just a man who needed someone, and somewhere to hide
    To keep me alive-just keep me alive
    Somewhere to hide to keep me alive

    1. Loaded_Pants

      I've tried praying in the gay into certain individuals who caught my fancy. It only works about one third of the time.

  13. mavenmaven

    Bachmann will solve all our robot and electronics issues by declaring war on China and their ameros.

  14. MzNicky

    O/T, but the Newtster failed to qualify for the Virginia super-Tuesday primary. So did Rick Perry. Not enough signatures on the petitions to qualify, haw haw haw! Newt blames "the system." Face it, Salamander, they're just not that into you.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      Newt: "It's a failed system."
      Commonwealth of VA: "Fuck you, Newt."
      Yeah, blame "the system" when you aren't popular in one of the most conservative states even among your own party, you fucknut.

        1. starfanglednut

          And all that socialist "love thy neighbor" shit.

          Note: the bible does not say "love thy neighbor only if he is a rich, white, straight christian middle aged male, all others can fuck off ", now does it?

  15. JustPixelz

    I'm not sure the robot is really gay. Did any one check his/her I/O ports? (ha ha) Did they see if he/she uses Unix? How are the male and female adapters aligned?

    1. chicken_thief

      I'm not sure, but according to baby doctor Ron, the black ones can run really fast. Even in heels.

  16. owhatever

    Brief skirmish in the War on Christmas. No wise men or women were harmed in the making of this video, because none were there.

  17. Numbat_Dundee

    I was wondering what the connection between robots and gays was. Then I realised – the importance of lubrication. I wonder if the lard on a Bachmann supporter, if rendered efficiently, could serve?

  18. ttommyunger

    Stocky grinning Bachmann supporter telling Gay Robot to "Just leave!". Gay Robot heard to reply, "I'm trying to, but you'll have to let go of my dick!".

  19. Negligently_Joe

    So, for those of you following the political clownshow, because you need a bit of misanthropy this Christmas, apparently both Perry and Gingrich have been disqualfiied from Virginia's primary, for not having enough signatures, on account of being too amateur-hour to observe the "submit at least 150% of the required signatures, since some will be thrown out" rule of thumb.

    Gingrich's campaign director has furiously attacked Virginia's ballot rules, because it's obviously Virginia's fault, and not Gingrich's amateurish campaign, and has promised to conduct a write-in campaign. Oh, and also, Virginia state law prohibits write-in candidates in primaries. Which is probably something a "campaign director" should be aware of, I think.

  20. chascates

    Gayz? Different and scary.
    Robotz? Different and scary.
    Coloredz? Different and scary.
    Foreignz? Different and scary.

    Present day existence and the future? Different and scary.

  21. MosesInvests

    ALL HAIL THE CYBER KING! (just wanted to get a Dr. Who reference in there). Happy/Merry Whatever, everyone!

  22. wrdof

    I'm wishing I didn't even click on this. If you people? think you're helping the gay cause, I don't think so. No wonder people are so against them–if they weren't before. This is the most disgusting stuff. Keep on laughing because someday the laughing will stop.

    1. Callyson

      They're scared that they'll get hit by the next G – bomb. A very real possibility for some of them, and by some of them I mean the FOX news contingent…

  23. demoncat4

    guess to Michele even robots better be straight or she will want to try and save them and cure them from what nature and god intended them to be sexualy

  24. blahblahblah911

    I thought religion was supposed to fill your heart with love and tolerance, not hate and ignorance (Isn't that the devil fills you with?).

Comments are closed.