WAR ON SOLSTICE  11:59 pm December 22, 2011

Happy Winter Solstice, Third Night of Hanukkah, Etc.!

by Wonkette Jr.

We have failed to provide the usual amount of tangential holiday nonsense this week, and for that we Truly Apologize, sort of. Here’s a quick post to wish you all a very happy third “magic olive oil” night of Hanukkah, plus a very merry “death of the sun” Winter Solstice Night. Here are a few video choices to make your season merry and whatnot!

Haha, sorry!

Haha, what?

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 150 comments }

Barb December 23, 2011 at 12:04 am

Eric Cantor can spin my dreidel. By "spin" I mean "suck" and "dreidel" I mean "dick"

Steverino247 December 23, 2011 at 12:09 am

And just WHERE did you get one of THOSE, young lady?

Barb December 23, 2011 at 12:27 am

If you are on Santa's "naughty" list you will have many. Oh, you mean the dreidel? I got it at Goys R Us.

BaldarTFlagass December 23, 2011 at 9:32 am

Maybe "Barb" isn't short for Barbara.

Barb December 23, 2011 at 11:41 am

Well, it must be short for hermaphrodite, because I'm still going to have Miss Mookie yanked on Feb 8th.

Nothingisamiss December 23, 2011 at 12:16 am

No wonder you're so popular.

JustPixelz December 23, 2011 at 8:58 am

Then your "barb" really is a pointy thing on your body! (Suddenly I'm thinking of several pointy things on a woman's body.)

Eric Cantor should be good at spinning — listen to him talk up the Go-Pee agenda. Also should be good at sucking — he's a Repubican and they all suck.

AlterNewt December 23, 2011 at 12:21 am

Comment pending.

Extemporanus December 23, 2011 at 12:25 am

Reply pending.

Barb December 23, 2011 at 12:35 am

Patent pending.

Extemporanus December 23, 2011 at 12:57 am

Results pending.

poncho_pilot December 23, 2011 at 4:07 am

gender pending.

ttommyunger December 23, 2011 at 6:59 am

Depending.

Extemporanus December 23, 2011 at 7:48 am

'P'-ending.

weejee December 23, 2011 at 8:47 am

Congressional spending – aka Boehner blows Harry

AlterNewt December 23, 2011 at 9:15 am

"Comment pending" was in reference to the dearth of posts on Thursday.

That being said, which is worse? Being attacked by O'Reilly or being defended by O'Reilly?

Extemporanus December 23, 2011 at 12:25 am

JEWS DID WINTER SOLSTUS!!1

Chichikovovich December 23, 2011 at 9:16 am

The Jews kidnapped Persephone!

mavenmaven December 23, 2011 at 12:25 am

I know there needs to be some kind of joke about eating latkes and not Weiner…

BarackMyWorld December 23, 2011 at 12:32 am

Didn't Anthony Weiner's wife finally have her baby? It's a Hanukkah miracle….that they're still together.

I'm a little worried about him posting baby pictures online, though.

A Muslim and a Jew had a kid together this close to Christmas! Fox News outrage in 3, 2, 1….

SayItWithWookies December 23, 2011 at 2:41 am

They probably didn't even give thanks to Jesus.

BelleSC December 23, 2011 at 7:52 am

They named him Jordan but I think I read somewhere that his nickname is Hot Dog. I could be wrong.

deanbooth December 23, 2011 at 11:12 am

Weiner: "I can't say for sure that's a photo of my baby."

Biff December 23, 2011 at 12:33 am

First they came for the Jews…
Whut?

Chichikovovich December 23, 2011 at 9:24 am

…And I said nothing, because that Mel Gibson movie said they killed Jesus.
And then they came for the Muslims, and I said nothing because… well, duh!!
And then they came for the Atheists, and I said nothing because I was too breathless from helping to push them into the plane to Gitmo.
And then they came for the gays, and I said nothing because they wrecked Amy Koch's marriage.

But then they came to pass a law preventing good, moral Christian kids from beating the crap out of other kids they believed to be gay.
See! See! Christians are the really persecuted ones in this society!

Steverino247 December 23, 2011 at 11:22 am

Been there, done that.

littlebigdaddy December 23, 2011 at 12:34 am

So, I'm going to circumcise myself and eat a latke.

natoslug December 23, 2011 at 12:40 am

I'd join you but I'm not quite drunk enough. And don't know any women named Latke.

Barb December 23, 2011 at 12:48 am

Please, do NOT circumcise yourself! Imagine the bleeding and how you are going to explain that shit at the emergency room:
1. I was whittling in the dark….
2. My wife was trying to cut the tags off my PJ's, while drunk.
3. A game of "got your nose" gone horribly awry"

SorosBot December 23, 2011 at 9:06 am

Plus, it's kind of hard to do if you, like most American men, have already been circumcised, against your will, as a baby.

finallyhappy December 23, 2011 at 9:13 am

Actually, if you convert to Judaism(and maybe Islam too), you are recircumcised – just enoough for one drop of blood. really!

DaRooster December 23, 2011 at 9:50 am

Don't forget the…
Well you see doc, my neighbors wife stopped by…

… and then my wife came home and…

… here I am.

Spurning Beer December 23, 2011 at 10:07 am

4. I was field testing my new invention, the Smegmatron 4000….

LesBontemps December 23, 2011 at 11:07 am

Hey, Father Abraham was 99 when he circumcised himself. Whaddaya mean, senile dementia?

Radiotherapy December 23, 2011 at 12:50 am

Worst. Jerky. Boys. Evah.

Radiotherapy December 23, 2011 at 12:53 am

Why doesn't anybody respect the sacred high holiday of Kwanza? Why??!? Bro-Libel??

Extemporanus December 23, 2011 at 12:56 am

BLOODS LIBEL!

Radiotherapy December 23, 2011 at 1:34 am

Don't be Crippin' my Style, yo!

Biff December 23, 2011 at 10:53 am

He-bro libel!

mavenmaven December 23, 2011 at 1:18 am

While we're talking about Latkas, here is the greatest of all of them, oddly echoing Rick Perry's debating style http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmZAxRH3Ibs

SheriffRoscoe December 23, 2011 at 1:19 am

To anyone who is still confused, Jesus was born in the springtime. The midwinter solstice is the time for celebrating consumerism…..and it's a lot of fun!

paris biltong December 23, 2011 at 5:20 am

"Noel" probably comes from the Latin word for "birth" but probably referred originally to the rebirth of the sun rather than the birth Jesus. As for "Yule" it seems to be derived from words meaning "yell" or "jolly". So just be happy the days are again getting longer.

Biff December 23, 2011 at 10:58 am

I know, because baby sheeps.

Geminisunmars December 23, 2011 at 12:34 pm

That means, gasp, that Hayzeus was born AND died in the spring. This must mean something.

yyyaz December 23, 2011 at 1:54 pm

And anytime you feel the pain, Hayzeus, refrain,
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.

MosesInvests December 23, 2011 at 1:35 am

To all my fellow MOTs on Wonkette-Happy Hanukkah! To everyone else, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Diwali, God Jul, Happy Festivus! And to Bill-O and the rest of the Fox and Fiends, Happy Holidays!

finallyhappy December 23, 2011 at 9:17 am

Diwali was a while ago but It has the best food. I like my latkes and jelly donuts(sufganiyot for purists) and my peppermint hot chocolate and gingerbread but you can't beat a masala dosa, a mango lassi and some payasam(ok, gulub jaman -if that is your choice).

whoa- sounds like a fighter jet went over my house!(I am in close in MD suburbs)- usually, we get warnings for this stuff.

GOPCrusher December 23, 2011 at 1:01 pm

To our druid friends, Happy Saturnalia!

Bonzos_Bed_Time December 23, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Remember kids, if Saturn is your dad, time to hit the road before he gets the munchies!

sbj1964 December 23, 2011 at 1:39 am

Why do Jewish women prefer a circumcised member? 10% off it's a sale!

sbj1964 December 23, 2011 at 2:07 am

Hanukkah,The lamp has to burn for eight days.We only have enough oil for one day.It burned for 8 days.A miracle,or is it just a myth all Jews are good at math?

JustPixelz December 23, 2011 at 8:49 am

I like Hanukkah. Around the longest night of the year (North Hemisphere edition), we light more candles each night to bring back the light. It's nice.

Christmas attempts similar symbolism, but with Jebus being the light bringer. Nice try Xtians, but we like a our light to be physical, not metaphysical.

sunmusing December 23, 2011 at 2:48 pm

I'm not Jewish, but I really like Hanukkah, and the lighting of the candles. Soooo, I thought I would do a little crossover and put candles on my xmas tree. I now have the family trained to wait for the curtains to catch fire, BEFORE calling the fire dept. Merry Merrrry holidaz to all the wookies who have made my depressing year a little less depressing.

finallyhappy December 23, 2011 at 9:17 am

definitely a myth in this family!

Blueb4sunrise December 23, 2011 at 11:08 am

Burning for 8 days–> penicillin

ShaveTheWhales December 23, 2011 at 8:05 pm

Notice, there is no Asian Hannukah.

SayItWithWookies December 23, 2011 at 2:46 am

Solstice is coming, the tofu's getting fat
Please to put a gift card in a hipster's hat —
If you haven't got a gift card,
An EZPass will do
If you haven't got an EZPass
I'll take Mastercard, too.

finallyhappy December 23, 2011 at 9:19 am

Chanukah is coming, Make those latkes soon
Put them in the oil with a great big spoon
If you don't like applesauce
Sour cream will do
If you don't like either
Are you sure that you're a Jew?

CliveWarren December 23, 2011 at 4:24 am

Hey Lord-y,
It's your birthday,
We gonna party like it's your birthday,
We gonna sip Bacardi like it's your birthday,
And you know we don't give a fuck it's not your birthday.

ttommyunger December 23, 2011 at 7:03 am

Nothing like Bill-0 to give one a dose of the Christmas Spirit; if, by Christmas Spirit, you mean cranky, egotistical assholery.

freakishlywrong December 23, 2011 at 7:43 am

Happy Hollydaze, bitches! I love my pretend internet friends, one and all!

Barrelhse December 23, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Thank you, although we're only too real.

HistoriCat December 23, 2011 at 7:51 am

We have failed to provide the usual amount of tangential holiday nonsense this week, and for that we Truly Apologize, sort of.

We'll let it go this time Junior but now you're on probation!

Numbat_Dundee December 23, 2011 at 7:59 am

SUMMER SOLSTICE back at you you northern hemisphere chauvinists. Think of us as we try to cook roast turkey in the middle of an Australian summer with only a handy beach to wash off the grease.

Numbat_Dundee December 23, 2011 at 8:01 am

PS. Was that holiday nonsense tangential enough?

Spurning Beer December 23, 2011 at 8:19 am

Alright, mate. I see you've played knifey-spooney before.

Biff December 23, 2011 at 11:02 am

Wish I could trade, so jealous!

GOPCrusher December 23, 2011 at 1:03 pm

HA! Your toilets flush backwards.

ShaveTheWhales December 23, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Chests 'n' nuts roasting on an open beach.

BaldarTFlagass December 23, 2011 at 8:00 am

Happy fucking holidays, y'all.

Dashboard Buddha December 23, 2011 at 8:07 am

Things were pretty bad when I was a kid…we called it the Season of Plights.

Spurning Beer December 23, 2011 at 10:00 am

Yeah, it was the same in my family. Our oil ran out 15 minutes into the first night. And our "gelt" was Alka-Seltzers wrapped in aluminum foil.

Geminisunmars December 23, 2011 at 12:41 pm

We made our latkes using stale matzohs from Passover.

Steverino247 December 23, 2011 at 8:12 am

Happy Festival of Retail! Many happy returns (of shitty gifts for stuff you really want)!

weejee December 23, 2011 at 8:28 am

Mazel tov, Jr., and a Happy Hanukkah to all, and to all a good snark.

Guppy December 23, 2011 at 8:36 am

With all this commercialism and competition between holidays and faiths, it's easy to forget the true meaning of Hanukkah: fuck the Greeks.

I'll be showing my support for this by avoiding gymnasiums for the duration.

Chichikovovich December 23, 2011 at 9:31 am

No doubt out of sincere remorse for the horrors of the German past, Angela Merkel is stepping up to celebrate Hanukkah in a big way.

Guppy December 23, 2011 at 10:31 am

On a similar note, we should also keep in mind the universal message of the Christmas narrative: fuck the Census.

SorosBot December 23, 2011 at 10:34 am

And here I thought the universal message of the Christmas narrative was: if you get pregnant while cheating on your husband in a way that he knows he couldn't possibly be the father, tell him god did it; he'll believe it.

Guppy December 23, 2011 at 11:43 am

Nah, that's more for the Annunciation holiday back in March (where the true meaning may be "fuck divorce lawyers," but it will require further meditation). Catholics (et al) may find some extra meaning in Mary's miraculous hymen that survived even childbirth, but ultimately all the bullshit of sleeping in a barn and hiding from a genocidal king wouldn't have happened if it weren't for those damned census takers.

It's similar to the true meaning of Easter, where things were fine until the arrest at Gethsemane: "fuck da police."

Biff December 23, 2011 at 11:05 am

My gym is the only place I can go where I'm not overwhelmed by all that Xmassy crap. Also, chicks.

Spurning Beer December 23, 2011 at 8:40 am

I look forward to January 6, and the celebration of the ceremonial birthday of Emperor Haile Selassie I.

We usually just eat left-overs and maybe go for a walk if it's nice out.

SorosBot December 23, 2011 at 9:09 am

It's got to be very weird to discover that a bunch of people on the other side of the world think you're god and are worshiping you.

user-of-owls December 23, 2011 at 9:27 am

…if by "other side of the world" you mean right here on Wonkett.

Chichikovovich December 23, 2011 at 9:34 am

No reefer madness? How can you celebrate Haile Selassie without that?
Kids these days just have no respect for religion.

Spurning Beer December 23, 2011 at 9:44 am

(Psst! That wreath isn't really Fraser fir. And the Yule Log? Look again.)

Chichikovovich December 23, 2011 at 10:06 am

OK, but my Festivus pole is a 100% real pole.

Spurning Beer December 23, 2011 at 10:12 am

Man, you are frum. I mean, really old shul.

flamingpdog December 23, 2011 at 7:48 pm

How do they celebrate it in Ethiopia? I didn't think they had any left-overs there.

Spurning Beer December 23, 2011 at 11:04 pm

Yeah, it's usually too hot to go for a stroll, too.

JustPixelz December 23, 2011 at 8:45 am

I like the part in the "O'Reilly" video where the narrator says "in a real display of fair and balanced reporting". That's the headline: Fox did something fair and balanced.

BaldarTFlagass December 23, 2011 at 8:50 am

I like how Jewish correspondent/news host guy in the top video would not say the word "Christmas," only "Ex-mas." That's pretty good.

Spurning Beer December 23, 2011 at 9:02 am

Maybe his bubbe will give him a Christ-Box for Hanukkah.

Spurning Beer December 23, 2011 at 8:57 am

My favorite Kwanzaa principles are Ujima and Ujama: Collective Work and Responsibility, and Cooperative Economics.

I would like to hear a discussion of this at the next Republican debate. Or alternatively, I would like to hear Newt Gingrich's suggestions for the principles Black Americans should really be promoting. Maybe "Janitorial Skills" could be one.

Kwanzaa yenu iwe na heri!

user-of-owls December 23, 2011 at 9:29 am

A very sincere wish for peace and happiness, brother zvi.

Spurning Beer December 23, 2011 at 9:48 am

And with thy spirit, my friend.

BaldarTFlagass December 23, 2011 at 9:28 am

Fucking Phil Hendrie. I remember the first time I heard one of his shows, the "guest" was one "Rudy Canoza," who was telling Phil that the employment problem in the US would be solved if women would just stay home and let the men work. Men should tell their wives "Montè mè è gruños," which he said translates to "Stay home and keep warm my hearth." I thought to myself, "No, that means 'Mount me and growl.'" Then Rudy said the men should keep their womenfolk happy in the home by going down on them regularly ("You should be practicing the technique of La La La La LAH"). I couldn't believe what the fuck I was hearing. I listened the next night and he had some guy on that said motorists should pour oil on their tires during rain events, since oil and water repel it would make driving in the rain much safer. I finally figured out that all the guests were actually Phil, but he did manage to fish in some calls from outraged listeners who didn't get that the whole show was a gag. Funny fucking guy.

SorosBot December 23, 2011 at 9:41 am

Well he's right about one thing – men should go down on their womenfolk regularly; not just because it makes them happy, but because it's fun.. Otherwise fuck him.

Sue4466 December 23, 2011 at 9:29 am

The best part is the guy talking about "Henikah" who thinks using "Jewish" is insulting or not politically correct.

SorosBot December 23, 2011 at 9:51 am

I'm just hoping someone will show up soon today – come on, it's the last day of work before a long weekend when most of us will be stuck with our families!

BaldarTFlagass December 23, 2011 at 10:04 am

I've been designated by the boss, who is on leave, as acting section chief today, in case anything needs signing. I've looked around, and the only person from my section that's here is… me. Sure wish I had brought my heroin to work with me.

Steverino247 December 23, 2011 at 11:24 am

Picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue, too?

SorosBot December 23, 2011 at 11:30 am

It 11:30 and still nothing; here we are now, entertain us!

johnnyzhivago December 23, 2011 at 9:52 am

If these Druids could add some retro touches to their religion – like re introducing sacrificing of virgins, they could be on to something.

actor212 December 23, 2011 at 10:34 am

I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that Wonkette didn't do the GOP Christmas calendar…SHOCKED, I TELLS YA!

PS Bring sunglasses. No, welding shields. No! Paint your eyeballs with tar!

Geminisunmars December 23, 2011 at 1:08 pm

It was all very amusing until I got to Rick Perry. That was LOL-worthy.

actor212 December 23, 2011 at 10:35 am

Oh. And for my friends and fellow travelers on Wonkette….

Falalala, la, la, bite me.

Merry happy, all!

BornInATrailer December 23, 2011 at 10:40 am

Wait, there are a whole pile of Lovecraftian Christmas songs???

WHY AM I ONLY FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS NOW?

SexySmurf December 23, 2011 at 10:42 am

I would like to take this opportunity to inform everyone there is one, and only one, good Christmas song–which, of course, is never played at Christmas time–and that song is "River" by Joni Mitchell. And anyone who disagrees can kiss me in my bathing-suit area.

SorosBot December 23, 2011 at 10:49 am

There are a few other tolerable Christmas songs – The Kinks' Father Christmas, The Waitresses' Christmas Wrapping, The Pogues' Fairytale of New York, Weird Al's Christmas at Ground Zero and The Night Santa Went Crazy, and Bruce Springsteen's version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town. And that is all.

Biff December 23, 2011 at 11:33 am

Or pretty much any holiday song deemed worthy of Dr. Demento.
At the gym yesterday, I heard what sounded like AC/DC doing some Xmas song or another. Coulda been a parody, I don't care enough to look it up.

chascates December 23, 2011 at 11:20 am

I'll add the singing reindeer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ooc5eJc5SHA

SexySmurf December 23, 2011 at 11:53 am

I see your reindeer and raise you some Communist cats.

BigDumbRedDog December 23, 2011 at 2:57 pm

No, no, no. That's not a Christmas song. That's just a song that happens to mention Christmas. And if I have to kiss your bathing suit area for saying so, then so be it.

ifthethunderdontgetya December 23, 2011 at 11:30 am

Is Amy Koch going to be leering at us for the next several days, he wondered.

(Nervously!)
~

GOPCrusher December 23, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Mr. Koch probably asks the same thing.

Geminisunmars December 23, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Instead of coal in your stocking, that is what you get for Xmess.

chascates December 23, 2011 at 11:33 am

And in the spirit of the holidays here's Son of Erick celebrating the death of Christopher Hitchens:
What good is found in understanding a world that holds no mystery, no beauty, and nary the promise of a beneficent coda? To Christopher Hitchens, and the hard-core, militant atheists of his ilk, little in life is worthy of celebration. When there is no light, they cannot enlighten; but only mock instead. The political leaders who grow steeped in their nihilistic philosophies; through enstupidating maleducation, predictably spew this bile at those who cling bitterly to their Bibles and guns.
To hear Barack Obama’s poisonous contempt for simple, but honest people like Joe the Plumber, is to see whole-cloth the moral desolation wrought by men who think and believe like Christopher Hitchens. Hitchens attempted to destroy the meaning of life for billions of human beings groping as best they could through the terrors of our harsh mortal coil. He saw nothing to celebrate in life, therefore I see nothing much to celebrate in his existence. He did do us one favor at last. Merry Christmas, Mr. Hitchens!

BaldarTFlagass December 23, 2011 at 11:39 am

I'd like to send that guy one of those "caganer" things, but instead of Sarah Palin I'd want the figure to be Jesus Christ. Fuck that motherfucker.

SexySmurf December 23, 2011 at 11:41 am

"Good" "Christians" like Erick the Red have done more to promote Atheism than Christopher Hitchens ever could.

MosesInvests December 23, 2011 at 11:42 am

"Simple, but honest" Joe (not his real name) the (not actually a) Plumber? Really?

SayItWithWookies December 23, 2011 at 1:01 pm

To Erickson it's vile and nihilistic to love the world as it is, whereas it's honest and simple to make up a whole bunch of stuff and hope it's real in order to get through the day. Impressively, he carries that ethos into politics, economics, history, and every other part of life as well.

BaldarTFlagass December 23, 2011 at 11:40 am

Fuck, it's almost noon over on the east coast. Looks like this might be our "weekend post" right here. Ugh.

chascates December 23, 2011 at 11:42 am

Yes, I fear there's trouble in Wonkette-land.

Limeylizzie December 23, 2011 at 11:56 am

We have our Krishnamas Feast and present-giving tonight, due to our family being comprised of lapsed Catholics, Jews, Pagans, Wiccans, Hindus and atheists, several years ago we decided to forgo a traditional celebration and now we eat Indian food and decorate a huge whirli-gig that is an oil derrick with two men operating a saw atop it, it's folk-art similar to this… http://www.narrowlarry.com/nlvollis.html
So, Happy Krishnamas to all my imaginary Wonkette friends, I love all of you, ok some more than others!

chascates December 23, 2011 at 12:06 pm

I hope you've ditched the flu but keep drinking much alcohol just in case!

Spurning Beer December 23, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Love you too, LL. Namaste, and Marishka Hargitay!

user-of-owls December 23, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Same here…Owls' Annual Food Pellet Fiesta tonight! Smaller 'family', menu varies (tonight it's pistachio/pear/softshell crab salad, vichyssoise, port stew and Irish scones and a tamarind cheesecake….oh, and since I'm stumped on appetizers, I'm gonna have the couples, 3 plus us, scavenge the kitchen and come up with an appetizer from whatever they find; I'll cook, 15 minutes from say to table, can't be something 'as is.')
One of the ex's told me the only thing she regretted about the divorce was that she lost her seat at the table. ;) Wishing you and yours a fabulous, memorable Feast!
With love as always, old thing. What's that? Is that mistletoe above your head you precious scamp? I do believe it is!

Limeylizzie December 23, 2011 at 2:04 pm

That's not my head, you fool.

DahBoner December 23, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Needz 3 French hens!

slowhansolo December 23, 2011 at 12:23 pm

I'm just going say Merry Christmas, because I assume you're all Christians. What else is there?

SorosBot December 23, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Also, to our demonic friends, have a happy feast of Gurenthar's Ascendance!

Extemporanus December 23, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Ja!

Mumbletypeg December 23, 2011 at 1:24 pm

All I want for Christmas is, well to be frank, the opportunity to just waterboard the hell out of Marion "Pat" Robertson with macaroni-&-cheese… and I suppose to see my wonkett rescued from being taken over by freakin' AMWAY™, wth?.. Meh, I guess it wouldn't be a Xmas 'miracle' without its corresponding Xmas purgative.

Tamaranorbust December 23, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Thanks Wonkette, for your plug to my solstice post on my blog, 'Histories of Things to Come' http://historiesofthingstocome.blogspot.com/

I really appreciate it! Cheers, ToB

BelleSC December 23, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Well, I can think of one good reason to be here together and celebrate today.

IT"S MY BIRTHDAY!

Thank you all in advance for your kind words. Not necessary really. Just don't ever wrap my birthday present in holiday paper.

TYVM

Fukui_Jong-un December 23, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Happy birthday!

My gift to you is the mental image of Dick Cheney dressed as little bo peep being set on fire.

BelleSC December 23, 2011 at 3:29 pm

How'd you KNOW? That's perfect for me!

Bluestatelibel December 23, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Happy Holidays to all, and may we all sleep tonight with visions of half-humanoid fish monsters dancing in our heads!

GOPCrusher December 23, 2011 at 3:11 pm

The Creature From The Black Lagoon is a holiday classic!

chascates December 23, 2011 at 2:24 pm

The 12 Lies of Christmas
(Sung to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas")

On the first day of Christmas
Republicans told me
Obama's born in another country.

On the second day of Christmas
Republicans told me
Gay marriage is like box turtle love and
Obama's born in another country

On the third day of Christmas
Republicans told me
Thank the one percent
Gay marriage is like box turtle love and
Obama's born in another country

more at: http://crooksandliars.com/jon-perr/twelve-lies-of

BigDumbRedDog December 23, 2011 at 3:48 pm

May Jesus Claus bless you and keep you all on this most holy of all the capitalist holidays. May all of your credit card limits be high and all of your egg nogs be alcoholic. Amen.

Doktor Zoom December 23, 2011 at 5:13 am

Pants pending

Extemporanus December 23, 2011 at 5:45 am

Ex pending.

paris biltong December 23, 2011 at 8:12 am

Anus temporarily pending

SorosBot December 23, 2011 at 9:04 am

This comment has been deleted by the user

Chichikovovich December 23, 2011 at 9:15 am

Deletion pending.

weejee December 23, 2011 at 9:28 am

Oh being defended. If he's attacking you, then obvs you're on the proper path. If he's defending you, you'd have to start poking and kicking your position to see where your thinking went awry.

Chillwaver December 23, 2011 at 11:37 am

SORRY. You've already voted on that comment.

slowhansolo December 23, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Deep ending.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: