CAMERA SET ME UP!  10:32 am December 22, 2011

George Allen Again Victimized by Functioning Video Camera (VIDEO)

by Kaia Mursi

A fitting tribute to a great statesman.Past and future failed Senate candidate George Allen held a Facebook town-hall with Virginia shut-ins and others who could not click the “X” button in time. Okay, wait. Were we not explicitly promised that the 2006 clip of Allen calling a rival campaign staffer “macaca” was THE END of his political career, which at one time included even some aroused grunting in the direction of the Presidency? Maybe not, because Allen’s still running for Senate. And, wouldn’t you know it, the camera set him up again!

In this episode of JUST STOP SAYING WORDS IT’S SO EASY, the former fluke governor/senator┬ápulses with joy over having to actually talk to potential voters.

Of course, the campaign is blaming “technical difficulties” for Allen’s tantrum. Hmm. Can Virginia really afford a potential senator whom all technology has vowed to destroy, comically? [HuffPo]

 
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{ 144 comments }

SorosBot December 22, 2011 at 10:35 am

Why isn't he holding his football in the video?

Chillwaver December 22, 2011 at 11:01 am

Because he is sitting on it.

Jukesgrrl December 22, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Why isn't he wrapped in the Stars and Bars? The least he could do is one of those Confederate doo-rags.

memzilla December 22, 2011 at 10:37 am

Oops, he did it again.

Isn't Rep. Eric "Ratface" Cantor from the same Virginia district that Sen. George "Macaca" Allen was?

BaldarTFlagass December 22, 2011 at 10:54 am

I thought senators served "at large" rather than a certain district. Of course, Virginia; what the fuck do I know?

memzilla December 22, 2011 at 11:31 am

You're right. And further research shows they are both originally from Plutocrat Corners, Virginia.

Loaded_Pants December 22, 2011 at 6:55 pm

West end Richmond, represent!

Terry December 22, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Eric Cantor is from Richmond and went to college and law school in Virginia. George Allen was born in California and lived there then Chicago, then back to southern California, following his father's career as an NFL coach. Allen was in college when his father became coach of the Redskins and Allen (the son) transferred to UVa when his family moved east.

yyyaz December 22, 2011 at 6:36 pm

Typical 'thuglican dickweed: they sprout wherever they're blown.

PalinzADummy December 23, 2011 at 1:55 am

Shit, if that was the case, they'd be sprouting up all over the place. NOBODY likes to shoot their wad all over the nation as much as the Republicans. They're a fucking walking talking bukkake performance.

Loaded_Pants December 22, 2011 at 6:59 pm

And if you criticize Cantor you're labelled an "Anti-Semite" so that ends all logical criticism of him. It's the lesser-known "Jew-card" that doesn't get played as much.

PalinzADummy December 23, 2011 at 1:56 am

Only because any Jew worth their salt looks at the shitfaced little weasel and immediately mutters, "oy, such a shonda fur die goyim" under their breath and moves away fast.

user-of-owls December 22, 2011 at 10:38 am

Macaca is as macaca does.

EatsBabyDingos December 22, 2011 at 10:39 am

George is also known for asking brown people "what position did you play?", the implication that all dark people are good at sports. George was also a body part double in his "Human Anatomy" class-he was the asshole.

PalinzADummy December 23, 2011 at 1:57 am

You're much too kind. The anus serves a needed, if often unattractive, function.

user-of-owls December 22, 2011 at 10:39 am

the camera set him up again!

Camera is this generation's bitch.

weejee December 22, 2011 at 10:41 am

And the Intertubes the pimp?

Schmannnity December 22, 2011 at 10:39 am

Tool

fuflans December 23, 2011 at 12:12 am

gross.

Baconzgood December 22, 2011 at 10:40 am

NEEDZ MOAR ORANGE TIE!!!!!!!!!

chicken_thief December 22, 2011 at 10:46 am

That's "camo" to Boehner.

WunkRocker December 22, 2011 at 11:48 am

Deep Shrimp.

PalinzADummy December 23, 2011 at 1:58 am

MADE OF HEMP!!!

DaRooster December 22, 2011 at 10:41 am

I can never get enough "God Bless America" stickers on imported cars myself…

Chillwaver December 22, 2011 at 10:55 am

Akin to your local Wal-Mart having a big-ass Murikan flag in the parking lot.

sbj1964 December 22, 2011 at 10:41 am

"I always feel like somebody's watching me,and I got no privacy." As the song go's.

Troglodeity December 22, 2011 at 10:42 am

Poor baby.

weejee December 22, 2011 at 10:44 am

But I hit the delete button.

Baconzgood December 22, 2011 at 10:45 am

Worst web cam sexy time sex show EVAR!

OneDollarJuana December 22, 2011 at 10:57 am

Whaddya mean? He stuck it right in his mouth and swallowed!

EatsBabyDingos December 22, 2011 at 10:47 am

George's nose is so big he can pick one nostril with two thumbs. Makes Rudolph jealous.

Buckminster December 22, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Wonder what potent potable he drank for breakfast.

fuflans December 23, 2011 at 12:18 am

right? he's so very fucking red.

johnnyzhivago December 22, 2011 at 10:48 am

Needz moar teleprompters!

ManchuCandidate December 22, 2011 at 10:48 am

I think he was hoping that zombie Alan Funt would have appeared saying he was on Candid Camera…. or better yet moaning "Brainz Brainzzzz" then being disappointed when it found none in Georgie Macaca.

V572 the Merciless December 22, 2011 at 10:49 am

You gotta love that stricken, frozen, utterly fake-looking smile during the uncomfortable silence.

Makes you want to see that vid of Wolfowitz licking his comb again.

Limeylizzie December 22, 2011 at 11:42 am

No, no it does not.

V572 the Merciless December 22, 2011 at 11:44 am

I was just going to add: NOTHING could make me want to see that again.

starfanglednut December 22, 2011 at 3:28 pm

I'll add to that. Ummmm (thinks carefully), no.

Buckminster December 22, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Not quite as creepy as Herman Cain in the Pokemon smokemon commercial….

Not_So_Much December 22, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Thanks, now the nightmares of what other non-traditional grooming habits he has are back.

Dudleydidwrong December 22, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Consider that evidence that he's a low life. A real man would have stuck the comb in the mouth of his aid.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/dubo

elviouslyqueer December 22, 2011 at 10:49 am

Congratulations, George. You've just earned an Academy Award™ nomination for your deft portrayal of a grinning, moronic poopsack.

user-of-owls December 22, 2011 at 11:13 am

And the cameraman is a shoo-in for Best Score.

Rotundo_ December 22, 2011 at 5:53 pm

George didn't merely play a role, he became a grinning, moronic poopsack. Well, actually he didn't become a grinning, moronic poopsack, he already was one. Let's just say that being a grinning, moronic poopsack is something George was born to do, developed and honed to a razor's edge. A grinning, moronic poopsack among grinning, moronic poopsacks. He has transcended grinning moronically while being a poopsack. (Sorry, I just like the term grinning moronic poopsack, particularly when applied to someone who it sums up simply and eloquently.)

Chillwaver December 22, 2011 at 10:50 am

Next time Boner will be there to shut the camera off.

Barb December 22, 2011 at 10:51 am

This guy has all the sincerity of a hand job.

prommie December 22, 2011 at 11:06 am

Ahh, I am overcome with nostalgia whenever I see or hear the word "handjob." The lost innocense of youth, when the world was somehow brighter, and even a lowly handjob was a thing of wonder and joy.

Barb December 22, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Prommie, you have no idea the sick Country Time Lemonade commercial that is playing in my head right now. "remember the good old day, tire swings, drive-in movies and beating your man's dick like it owes you money"

prommie December 22, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Some time in one's 20s, it seems to me, the handjob ceases to be a stand-alone option, replaced completely by the blowjob.

MissTaken December 22, 2011 at 2:33 pm

According to Glamour Magazine the handjob is staging a comeback, some sort of Retro Revival thing. They even give tips (haha, tips!). Then again, they also talk about Kim Kardashian like she's an actual person we should pay attention to, so who knows? http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitte

Bonghits4Jesus December 23, 2011 at 2:04 am

Milk, milk, lemonade. Round the corner fudge is made.

BaldarTFlagass December 22, 2011 at 11:24 am

Obviously, you are talking about the "administered by others" variety. I never doubt the sincerity of a self-administered HJ.

Tundra Grifter December 22, 2011 at 12:35 pm

BTF: As Woody Allen wrote, at least its sex with someone you love.

WhatTheHeck December 22, 2011 at 11:37 am

I gotta hand it to you, Barb. You always hit the nail on the head.
As for George’s sincerity, he looks down at his hands and sings, “Big hands, I know you’re the one.”

ShaveTheWhales December 22, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Upfist for all-too-rare VF ref.

Buckminster December 22, 2011 at 12:33 pm

With much less satisfying results.

Toomush_Infer December 22, 2011 at 6:12 pm

What have you got against hand jobs….?

JackDempsey1 December 22, 2011 at 10:52 am

Um, what I saw in this clip is a guy reciting Mr. Rogers-style holiday tripe, followed by about 30 seconds of dead air, followed by 15 seconds of grade2-level complaint. In other words, about 790% less offensive language than you would hear if you set up a microphone to record the average dad setting up the Xmas train.
Did you edit out the part where he shoves Tiny Tim down the basement stairs?

Baconzgood December 22, 2011 at 11:01 am

Why isn't the fucking bitch of a transformer working? I spent a hundred and fifty bucks on the god damn thing last year and even put it back in the fucking box and stored it under the god damn bed and the mother fucker doesn't work?

JackDempsey1 December 22, 2011 at 11:51 am

Most Americans are incapable of dialogue which isn't more closely tied to the movies or tv:
"I'm tired of these muthafuckin snakes on this muthafuckin train (set)."

prommie December 22, 2011 at 11:07 am

Wonkette would Nevar make a molehill into a mountain in order to score a cheap laugh, Nevar!

BaldarTFlagass December 22, 2011 at 10:52 am

What is this, some kinda GOP cinema verite?

V572 the Merciless December 22, 2011 at 10:53 am

Needs moar handheld camera shakes.

user-of-owls December 22, 2011 at 11:14 am

The George Bitch Project.

BaldarTFlagass December 22, 2011 at 10:55 am

What happened to the people who were sitting in the chairs behind him? Raptured? Or did they just get bored and leave? I know which I would have done.

Buckminster December 22, 2011 at 12:33 pm

The reindeer and elves ate them.

Huevos Ocupados December 22, 2011 at 10:58 am

needz moar……something.

PalinzADummy December 23, 2011 at 2:07 am

Occupiers! #Occupy!

chascates December 22, 2011 at 10:58 am

Politicians emulating Hollywood celebrities now.

fuflans December 23, 2011 at 12:13 am

without the, you know, looks, brains and intelligence of your average b-list hollywood celeb.

edconley7 December 22, 2011 at 10:58 am

Ohhhh.waaughhh… I have to pretend to like people for a living waughhh….

Buckminster December 22, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Yeah, get out of politics, douche.

Goonemeritus December 22, 2011 at 11:00 am

The Senator has yet to learn his lesson that word choice matters that taping should be called enhanced not torturous.

MzNicky December 22, 2011 at 11:14 am

I was just thinking, he calls sitting in a chair fake-smiling at a camera "tortuous"? Hey redneck fuck in the orange tie, tell it to the waterboarded. Oh wait, that's not torture, I forgot.

Pres.Libunatic December 22, 2011 at 11:01 am

That video has all the appeal, quality, and content of a tranny webcam from Thailand at $5.99 per minute.

chicken_thief December 22, 2011 at 11:12 am

The feed from Alabama is only $1.99 per minute – and has guns and pink dildos!

starfanglednut December 22, 2011 at 3:32 pm

I'm not going to ask how you know that.

PalinzADummy December 23, 2011 at 2:08 am

Ladyboys has them for less and they're prettier.

actor212 December 22, 2011 at 11:06 am

Y'know how they say the most dangerous place in the world is between politician X…say, Chuck Schumer…and a camera?

For George Allen, the most dangerous place in the world IS the camera.

DaRooster December 22, 2011 at 11:08 am

"Damn, blow makes ya thirsty."

actor212 December 22, 2011 at 11:09 am

Dudes! (and Dames!)

You gotta turn on beta closed captioning on the clip! It's even funnier than the actual words! (Click the "cc" box)

user-of-owls December 22, 2011 at 11:19 am

Ha, brilliant!

cerebrospinal painted three

Oh, this is just fan-fucking-tastic!

Lascauxcaveman December 22, 2011 at 11:21 am

Being profoundly hard of hearing, I do that all the time. Makes nearly any YouTube video x2 the fun.

Biff December 22, 2011 at 11:21 am

I do NOT look forward to him kissing me, evar!

WunkRocker December 22, 2011 at 11:57 am

cerebrospinal painted three is gonna be my next Quintet band name.

user-of-owls December 22, 2011 at 4:23 pm

What are you accusing of that your questions your?!

RadioYKWE December 22, 2011 at 11:15 am

He should have just asked: "What position do you like?" Problem fixed.

neiltheblaze December 22, 2011 at 11:18 am

Lame. Why, he didn't even hurl an ugly, yet obscure, racial epithet.

Baconzgood December 22, 2011 at 11:22 am

Off topic.

Hey Ken,
Can you please take down the photo shopped Kim Jong nakid picture that keeps popping up in the corner. I find it very disturbing.

Mumbletypeg December 22, 2011 at 11:42 am

Translation: "Hey Ken wontcha gimme somethin' I can masterbate to, huh? Huh?!?!"

HedonismBot December 22, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Maybe more like "wontcha give me something that doesn't turn me off from masturbating for the rest of my life?"

natoslug December 22, 2011 at 12:13 pm

He won't listen unless you can prove you were only 4 blocks from that picture. So sorry.

BigDumbRedDog December 22, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Bring back the old man in the Walmart bag. I love that guy!

donner_froh December 22, 2011 at 11:32 am

You need a few lessons, George, from the master: "Fuck it we'll do it live!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXZj4Wy58Pk&fe

edgydrifter December 22, 2011 at 11:34 am

The video was, uh… "hacked?" Yeah. That's it. Terrorist left-wing camera hackers!

SayItWithWookies December 22, 2011 at 11:36 am

Oh, that's nothing — if you wanna see a whiny brat throw a tantrum, wait until after his concession speech.

chascates December 22, 2011 at 11:36 am

Romney's found one way to avoid those pesky flip-flops:

In two TV interviews today, GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney refused to take a stance on the biggest issue in Washington today: the extension of the payroll tax holiday.

chicken_thief December 22, 2011 at 11:59 am

And managed to do so while blasting the Kenyan for his lack of leadership.

chascates December 22, 2011 at 11:38 am

And now McConnell urges passage of short-term payroll tax cut extension.

HedonismBot December 22, 2011 at 12:13 pm

They've finally gone too far on something. I mean, what the Democrats and the rest of this country's thick-headed voters consider to be "too far."

proudgrampa December 22, 2011 at 11:42 am

OT: In that ad to the right about the Medium Next Door, what the hell is a "Physic Insight?"

chascates December 22, 2011 at 11:49 am

Some reference to Kourtney?

chicken_thief December 22, 2011 at 12:01 pm

A colonoscopy? Or Boehner with his head up his ass?

Mumbletypeg December 22, 2011 at 11:43 am

oooh I detected — is it possible? — sarcasm in that last bit, "Let's do this again tomorrow!" From a Republican that's quite something.

Mostly though I'm disappointed Allen didn't display more diva-like qualities between takes, uttering streams of profanities in a complete reversal of the fake glib persona shown to the public. A friend of mine who shoots local ads for things like auto dealers and high-interest ("Pay NOTHING down until 2013!") furniture warehouses has compiled enough discarded footage of the local actor personalities shilling for these businesses to splice devilshly good blooper reels; he's shown them at parties sometimes and I can only say George here has nothing on the meltdowns I've seen in the name of getting some scripted message across.

HedonismBot December 22, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Allen could probably make good money shilling products in Japanese TV commercials.

KeepFnThatChicken December 22, 2011 at 11:45 am

If this guy popped up in my Chat Roulette, I think I'd rather watch someone else jack off.

MrFizzy December 22, 2011 at 11:46 am

Sorry – not very interesting. Just a worn out redneck in a suit.

ifthethunderdontgetya December 22, 2011 at 11:55 am

Does the schaden freude itself?

YES! I believe it does.
~

Jerri December 22, 2011 at 11:57 am

I can't listen to the sound at work, so I'm going to assume it goes a little something like this:

"Demand? Who are you to demand anything? I run this town. You're just a bunch of low income nobodies….."

Aide: "Election in November, election in November."

"What? Again? This stupid country."

Sue4466 December 22, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Okay, that was really boring.

user-of-owls December 22, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Maybe he's running for Pawlenty's seat?

HedonismBot December 22, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Allen seems to feel the same way about filming promos for voters that us unemployed schlubs feel when the job interviewer at McDonald's asks us to explain "why do you want this job?"
Telling the truth – "I really need the money" – just doesn't fly. And every other answer is too insincere to give with a straight face. Sometimes, pretending to give a shit is just too much to ask, whether you're trying to get a minimum wage job or trying to impress those lowly voters.

SpiderCrab December 22, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Whom the gods hope to destroy they first render into a comical putz.

mereoblivion December 22, 2011 at 1:06 pm

By Zeus, will Massa Geo'ge be plucking his eyes out next?

Tundra Grifter December 22, 2011 at 12:37 pm

If that was a "tantrum," George Allen is the most whitebread-boring person on the face of this earth.

user-of-owls December 22, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Hey Kaia, you looking for a schtick? You know, like The Ken & Angsty Show, or Riley's Violent Pacifism…something to stand out from the crowd?

How about Today's Greatest Pander with DJ Kaia? I think you're a swell gal and here's one to get you started:

Romney: I'd Deport Obama's Uncle!

RadioYKWE December 22, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Now that's the kind of tough guy talk from a milquetoast candidate the teabaggers want to hear.

user-of-owls December 22, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Bachmann: I'd Dig Up Obama's Momma!

Perry: I'd Dig Up Obama's Momma & Kill Her Agin'!

Gingrich: I'd Dig Up Obama's Mother, Kill Her Again and Then Deport Her!
Blitzer: And??
Gingrich: I'd Dig Up Obama's Mother, Kill Her Again and Then Deport Her…To Space!!

Paul: If He's White, We Tight; If He's Brown, 'Outta Town'

Radiotherapy December 22, 2011 at 6:02 pm

They do know his momma was white, right?
And you forgot the Santorum: He would strap down the whole family, put rats on their abdomens, cover them with pots and heat the pots as the rats gnawed into their viscera to escape the heat…c'mon Obama is a baby killer Marxist and he deserves it.

user-of-owls December 22, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Rick was planning to take that stance, but Jules Manson already trademarked it.

PalinzADummy December 23, 2011 at 2:17 am

Hey! I read that story!

V572 the Merciless December 22, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Allen is just another victim of the Gotcha media, although in this case the getters were working for him.

Just like Obstetro-Congressman Ron Paul, whose past statements, wherein he spouts insane racist bullshit to match his insane social bullshit, are getting raked over by the media. Why are the lamestream media doing this? Because they can't let him win! Plus they look like dipshits if he wins and that can't happen either.

He's a scary, awful, heartless man, and I do so hope he wins Iowa. Or Ricky S.

proudgrampa December 22, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Your comment reminds me that Paul is (was?) an ob-gyn. I do think that if I were a woman, I would be fairly frightened by a guy like that looking at my hoo-ha.

PalinzADummy December 23, 2011 at 2:18 am

I presume you are a proud grampa in real life too. How would you feel about having that dood looking at your daughter's or wife's hoo-ha?

proudgrampa December 23, 2011 at 11:58 am

I am, indeed, a Proud Grampa. I wouldn't want that guy looking at anyone's hoo-ha.

PalinzADummy December 23, 2011 at 8:01 pm

Yay and upfists all around for ProudGrampa. I'm betting on you being very popular wiv the grandkids.

sbj1964 December 22, 2011 at 1:19 pm

President Obama made the Republicans choke on their Raspberry Kool-aid today !

finallyhappy December 22, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Blue Raspberry(I know because I only use it to dye wool)

sbj1964 December 22, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Ron Paul published some really nasty Racist shit even for a Republican.But let's remember Republicans don't hate minority's;They hate poor people,and the middle class!They don't have time to dice us all up.

SorosBot December 22, 2011 at 1:37 pm

The space bar is your friend; use it.

sbj1964 December 22, 2011 at 1:42 pm

S p a c e Bar, N A Z I ?

Mumbletypeg December 22, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Yes but have you noticed, intensedebate doesn't allow for double-space following punctuation or much elsewhere. Sort of ends up looking crowded either way.

sbj1964 December 22, 2011 at 6:08 pm

I use a Voice headset kind of glitchy.I'm over it.

Jukesgrrl December 22, 2011 at 8:13 pm

I noticed that right away, being a two-space grrl.

PolitiComm December 22, 2011 at 2:19 pm

I agree with George Allen on something! That was torturous.

yyyaz December 22, 2011 at 6:32 pm

TUDW

too ugly ….

ttommyunger December 22, 2011 at 9:52 pm

And the "Big Dumb Cunt of the Year" Award goes to……..You guessed it.

fuflans December 23, 2011 at 12:10 am

fuck it! we'll do it live!

prommie December 22, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Next thing you know, pubic hair will make a comeback!

DemmeFatale December 22, 2011 at 3:16 pm

My daughter attends Santacon in NYC as a "Hanukkah Bush." She wears a flesh colored body suit with masses of glued on pubic hair. (We're so proud!)
Upon seeing her last year, this older lady told her granddaughter: "See, I told you pubic hair was coming back!"

SorosBot December 22, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Nooooooooo!

finallyhappy December 22, 2011 at 6:18 pm

So does she get the pubic hair from Borat or from some Brazilian wax place?

Radiotherapy December 22, 2011 at 6:47 pm

It's an old Catholic trick for those evil heliocentrists.

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