Past and future failed Senate candidate George Allen held a Facebook town-hall with Virginia shut-ins and others who could not click the “X” button in time. Okay, wait. Were we not explicitly promised that the 2006 clip of Allen calling a rival campaign staffer “macaca” was THE END of his political career, which at one time included even some aroused grunting in the direction of the Presidency? Maybe not, because Allen’s still running for Senate. And, wouldn’t you know it, the camera set him up again!
In this episode of JUST STOP SAYING WORDS IT’S SO EASY, the former fluke governor/senator pulses with joy over having to actually talk to potential voters.
Of course, the campaign is blaming “technical difficulties” for Allen’s tantrum. Hmm. Can Virginia really afford a potential senator whom all technology has vowed to destroy, comically? [HuffPo]
{ 144 comments }
Why isn't he holding his football in the video?
Because he is sitting on it.
Why isn't he wrapped in the Stars and Bars? The least he could do is one of those Confederate doo-rags.
Oops, he did it again.
Isn't Rep. Eric "Ratface" Cantor from the same Virginia district that Sen. George "Macaca" Allen was?
I thought senators served "at large" rather than a certain district. Of course, Virginia; what the fuck do I know?
You're right. And further research shows they are both originally from Plutocrat Corners, Virginia.
West end Richmond, represent!
Eric Cantor is from Richmond and went to college and law school in Virginia. George Allen was born in California and lived there then Chicago, then back to southern California, following his father's career as an NFL coach. Allen was in college when his father became coach of the Redskins and Allen (the son) transferred to UVa when his family moved east.
Typical 'thuglican dickweed: they sprout wherever they're blown.
Shit, if that was the case, they'd be sprouting up all over the place. NOBODY likes to shoot their wad all over the nation as much as the Republicans. They're a fucking walking talking bukkake performance.
And if you criticize Cantor you're labelled an "Anti-Semite" so that ends all logical criticism of him. It's the lesser-known "Jew-card" that doesn't get played as much.
Only because any Jew worth their salt looks at the shitfaced little weasel and immediately mutters, "oy, such a shonda fur die goyim" under their breath and moves away fast.
Macaca is as macaca does.
George is also known for asking brown people "what position did you play?", the implication that all dark people are good at sports. George was also a body part double in his "Human Anatomy" class-he was the asshole.
You're much too kind. The anus serves a needed, if often unattractive, function.
the camera set him up again!
Camera is this generation's bitch.
And the Intertubes the pimp?
Tool
gross.
NEEDZ MOAR ORANGE TIE!!!!!!!!!
That's "camo" to Boehner.
Deep Shrimp.
MADE OF HEMP!!!
I can never get enough "God Bless America" stickers on imported cars myself…
Akin to your local Wal-Mart having a big-ass Murikan flag in the parking lot.
"I always feel like somebody's watching me,and I got no privacy." As the song go's.
Poor baby.
But I hit the delete button.
Worst web cam sexy time sex show EVAR!
Whaddya mean? He stuck it right in his mouth and swallowed!
George's nose is so big he can pick one nostril with two thumbs. Makes Rudolph jealous.
Wonder what potent potable he drank for breakfast.
right? he's so very fucking red.
Needz moar teleprompters!
I think he was hoping that zombie Alan Funt would have appeared saying he was on Candid Camera…. or better yet moaning "Brainz Brainzzzz" then being disappointed when it found none in Georgie Macaca.
You gotta love that stricken, frozen, utterly fake-looking smile during the uncomfortable silence.
Makes you want to see that vid of Wolfowitz licking his comb again.
No, no it does not.
I was just going to add: NOTHING could make me want to see that again.
I'll add to that. Ummmm (thinks carefully), no.
Not quite as creepy as Herman Cain in the Pokemon smokemon commercial….
Thanks, now the nightmares of what other non-traditional grooming habits he has are back.
Consider that evidence that he's a low life. A real man would have stuck the comb in the mouth of his aid.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/dubo…
Congratulations, George. You've just earned an Academy Award™ nomination for your deft portrayal of a grinning, moronic poopsack.
And the cameraman is a shoo-in for Best Score.
George didn't merely play a role, he became a grinning, moronic poopsack. Well, actually he didn't become a grinning, moronic poopsack, he already was one. Let's just say that being a grinning, moronic poopsack is something George was born to do, developed and honed to a razor's edge. A grinning, moronic poopsack among grinning, moronic poopsacks. He has transcended grinning moronically while being a poopsack. (Sorry, I just like the term grinning moronic poopsack, particularly when applied to someone who it sums up simply and eloquently.)
Next time Boner will be there to shut the camera off.
This guy has all the sincerity of a hand job.
Ahh, I am overcome with nostalgia whenever I see or hear the word "handjob." The lost innocense of youth, when the world was somehow brighter, and even a lowly handjob was a thing of wonder and joy.
Prommie, you have no idea the sick Country Time Lemonade commercial that is playing in my head right now. "remember the good old day, tire swings, drive-in movies and beating your man's dick like it owes you money"
Some time in one's 20s, it seems to me, the handjob ceases to be a stand-alone option, replaced completely by the blowjob.
According to Glamour Magazine the handjob is staging a comeback, some sort of Retro Revival thing. They even give tips (haha, tips!). Then again, they also talk about Kim Kardashian like she's an actual person we should pay attention to, so who knows? http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitte…
Milk, milk, lemonade. Round the corner fudge is made.
Obviously, you are talking about the "administered by others" variety. I never doubt the sincerity of a self-administered HJ.
BTF: As Woody Allen wrote, at least its sex with someone you love.
I gotta hand it to you, Barb. You always hit the nail on the head.
As for George’s sincerity, he looks down at his hands and sings, “Big hands, I know you’re the one.”
Upfist for all-too-rare VF ref.
With much less satisfying results.
What have you got against hand jobs….?
Um, what I saw in this clip is a guy reciting Mr. Rogers-style holiday tripe, followed by about 30 seconds of dead air, followed by 15 seconds of grade2-level complaint. In other words, about 790% less offensive language than you would hear if you set up a microphone to record the average dad setting up the Xmas train.
Did you edit out the part where he shoves Tiny Tim down the basement stairs?
Why isn't the fucking bitch of a transformer working? I spent a hundred and fifty bucks on the god damn thing last year and even put it back in the fucking box and stored it under the god damn bed and the mother fucker doesn't work?
Most Americans are incapable of dialogue which isn't more closely tied to the movies or tv:
"I'm tired of these muthafuckin snakes on this muthafuckin train (set)."
Wonkette would Nevar make a molehill into a mountain in order to score a cheap laugh, Nevar!
What is this, some kinda GOP cinema verite?
Needs moar handheld camera shakes.
The George Bitch Project.
What happened to the people who were sitting in the chairs behind him? Raptured? Or did they just get bored and leave? I know which I would have done.
The reindeer and elves ate them.
needz moar……something.
Occupiers! #Occupy!
Politicians emulating Hollywood celebrities now.
without the, you know, looks, brains and intelligence of your average b-list hollywood celeb.
Ohhhh.waaughhh… I have to pretend to like people for a living waughhh….
Yeah, get out of politics, douche.
The Senator has yet to learn his lesson that word choice matters that taping should be called enhanced not torturous.
I was just thinking, he calls sitting in a chair fake-smiling at a camera "tortuous"? Hey redneck fuck in the orange tie, tell it to the waterboarded. Oh wait, that's not torture, I forgot.
That video has all the appeal, quality, and content of a tranny webcam from Thailand at $5.99 per minute.
The feed from Alabama is only $1.99 per minute – and has guns and pink dildos!
I'm not going to ask how you know that.
Ladyboys has them for less and they're prettier.
Y'know how they say the most dangerous place in the world is between politician X…say, Chuck Schumer…and a camera?
For George Allen, the most dangerous place in the world IS the camera.
"Damn, blow makes ya thirsty."
Dudes! (and Dames!)
You gotta turn on beta closed captioning on the clip! It's even funnier than the actual words! (Click the "cc" box)
Ha, brilliant!
cerebrospinal painted three
Oh, this is just fan-fucking-tastic!
Being profoundly hard of hearing, I do that all the time. Makes nearly any YouTube video x2 the fun.
I do NOT look forward to him kissing me, evar!
cerebrospinal painted three is gonna be my next Quintet band name.
What are you accusing of that your questions your?!
He should have just asked: "What position do you like?" Problem fixed.
Lame. Why, he didn't even hurl an ugly, yet obscure, racial epithet.
Off topic.
Hey Ken,
Can you please take down the photo shopped Kim Jong nakid picture that keeps popping up in the corner. I find it very disturbing.
Translation: "Hey Ken wontcha gimme somethin' I can masterbate to, huh? Huh?!?!"
Maybe more like "wontcha give me something that doesn't turn me off from masturbating for the rest of my life?"
He won't listen unless you can prove you were only 4 blocks from that picture. So sorry.
Bring back the old man in the Walmart bag. I love that guy!
You need a few lessons, George, from the master: "Fuck it we'll do it live!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXZj4Wy58Pk&fe…
The video was, uh… "hacked?" Yeah. That's it. Terrorist left-wing camera hackers!
Oh, that's nothing — if you wanna see a whiny brat throw a tantrum, wait until after his concession speech.
Romney's found one way to avoid those pesky flip-flops:
In two TV interviews today, GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney refused to take a stance on the biggest issue in Washington today: the extension of the payroll tax holiday.
And managed to do so while blasting the Kenyan for his lack of leadership.
And now McConnell urges passage of short-term payroll tax cut extension.
They've finally gone too far on something. I mean, what the Democrats and the rest of this country's thick-headed voters consider to be "too far."
OT: In that ad to the right about the Medium Next Door, what the hell is a "Physic Insight?"
Some reference to Kourtney?
A colonoscopy? Or Boehner with his head up his ass?
oooh I detected — is it possible? — sarcasm in that last bit, "Let's do this again tomorrow!" From a Republican that's quite something.
Mostly though I'm disappointed Allen didn't display more diva-like qualities between takes, uttering streams of profanities in a complete reversal of the fake glib persona shown to the public. A friend of mine who shoots local ads for things like auto dealers and high-interest ("Pay NOTHING down until 2013!") furniture warehouses has compiled enough discarded footage of the local actor personalities shilling for these businesses to splice devilshly good blooper reels; he's shown them at parties sometimes and I can only say George here has nothing on the meltdowns I've seen in the name of getting some scripted message across.
Allen could probably make good money shilling products in Japanese TV commercials.
If this guy popped up in my Chat Roulette, I think I'd rather watch someone else jack off.
Sorry – not very interesting. Just a worn out redneck in a suit.
Does the schaden freude itself?
YES! I believe it does.
~
I can't listen to the sound at work, so I'm going to assume it goes a little something like this:
"Demand? Who are you to demand anything? I run this town. You're just a bunch of low income nobodies….."
Aide: "Election in November, election in November."
"What? Again? This stupid country."
Okay, that was really boring.
Maybe he's running for Pawlenty's seat?
Allen seems to feel the same way about filming promos for voters that us unemployed schlubs feel when the job interviewer at McDonald's asks us to explain "why do you want this job?"
Telling the truth – "I really need the money" – just doesn't fly. And every other answer is too insincere to give with a straight face. Sometimes, pretending to give a shit is just too much to ask, whether you're trying to get a minimum wage job or trying to impress those lowly voters.
Whom the gods hope to destroy they first render into a comical putz.
By Zeus, will Massa Geo'ge be plucking his eyes out next?
If that was a "tantrum," George Allen is the most whitebread-boring person on the face of this earth.
Hey Kaia, you looking for a schtick? You know, like The Ken & Angsty Show, or Riley's Violent Pacifism…something to stand out from the crowd?
How about Today's Greatest Pander with DJ Kaia? I think you're a swell gal and here's one to get you started:
Romney: I'd Deport Obama's Uncle!
Now that's the kind of tough guy talk from a milquetoast candidate the teabaggers want to hear.
Bachmann: I'd Dig Up Obama's Momma!
Perry: I'd Dig Up Obama's Momma & Kill Her Agin'!
Gingrich: I'd Dig Up Obama's Mother, Kill Her Again and Then Deport Her!
Blitzer: And??
Gingrich: I'd Dig Up Obama's Mother, Kill Her Again and Then Deport Her…To Space!!
Paul: If He's White, We Tight; If He's Brown, 'Outta Town'
They do know his momma was white, right?
And you forgot the Santorum: He would strap down the whole family, put rats on their abdomens, cover them with pots and heat the pots as the rats gnawed into their viscera to escape the heat…c'mon Obama is a baby killer Marxist and he deserves it.
Rick was planning to take that stance, but Jules Manson already trademarked it.
Hey! I read that story!
Allen is just another victim of the Gotcha media, although in this case the getters were working for him.
Just like Obstetro-Congressman Ron Paul, whose past statements, wherein he spouts insane racist bullshit to match his insane social bullshit, are getting raked over by the media. Why are the lamestream media doing this? Because they can't let him win! Plus they look like dipshits if he wins and that can't happen either.
He's a scary, awful, heartless man, and I do so hope he wins Iowa. Or Ricky S.
Your comment reminds me that Paul is (was?) an ob-gyn. I do think that if I were a woman, I would be fairly frightened by a guy like that looking at my hoo-ha.
I presume you are a proud grampa in real life too. How would you feel about having that dood looking at your daughter's or wife's hoo-ha?
I am, indeed, a Proud Grampa. I wouldn't want that guy looking at anyone's hoo-ha.
Yay and upfists all around for ProudGrampa. I'm betting on you being very popular wiv the grandkids.
President Obama made the Republicans choke on their Raspberry Kool-aid today !
Blue Raspberry(I know because I only use it to dye wool)
Ron Paul published some really nasty Racist shit even for a Republican.But let's remember Republicans don't hate minority's;They hate poor people,and the middle class!They don't have time to dice us all up.
The space bar is your friend; use it.
S p a c e Bar, N A Z I ?
Yes but have you noticed, intensedebate doesn't allow for double-space following punctuation or much elsewhere. Sort of ends up looking crowded either way.
I use a Voice headset kind of glitchy.I'm over it.
I noticed that right away, being a two-space grrl.
I agree with George Allen on something! That was torturous.
TUDW
too ugly ….
And the "Big Dumb Cunt of the Year" Award goes to……..You guessed it.
fuck it! we'll do it live!
Next thing you know, pubic hair will make a comeback!
My daughter attends Santacon in NYC as a "Hanukkah Bush." She wears a flesh colored body suit with masses of glued on pubic hair. (We're so proud!)
Upon seeing her last year, this older lady told her granddaughter: "See, I told you pubic hair was coming back!"
Nooooooooo!
So does she get the pubic hair from Borat or from some Brazilian wax place?
It's an old Catholic trick for those evil heliocentrists.
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