camera set me up!

George Allen Again Victimized by Functioning Video Camera (VIDEO)

A fitting tribute to a great statesman.Past and future failed Senate candidate George Allen held a Facebook town-hall with Virginia shut-ins and others who could not click the “X” button in time. Okay, wait. Were we not explicitly promised that the 2006 clip of Allen calling a rival campaign staffer “macaca” was THE END of his political career, which at one time included even some aroused grunting in the direction of the Presidency? Maybe not, because Allen’s still running for Senate. And, wouldn’t you know it, the camera set him up again!

In this episode of JUST STOP SAYING WORDS IT’S SO EASY, the former fluke governor/senator pulses with joy over having to actually talk to potential voters.

Of course, the campaign is blaming “technical difficulties” for Allen’s tantrum. Hmm. Can Virginia really afford a potential senator whom all technology has vowed to destroy, comically? [HuffPo]

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    1. BaldarTFlagass

      I thought senators served "at large" rather than a certain district. Of course, Virginia; what the fuck do I know?

    2. Terry

      Eric Cantor is from Richmond and went to college and law school in Virginia. George Allen was born in California and lived there then Chicago, then back to southern California, following his father's career as an NFL coach. Allen was in college when his father became coach of the Redskins and Allen (the son) transferred to UVa when his family moved east.

        1. PalinzADummy

          Shit, if that was the case, they'd be sprouting up all over the place. NOBODY likes to shoot their wad all over the nation as much as the Republicans. They're a fucking walking talking bukkake performance.

      1. Loaded_Pants

        And if you criticize Cantor you're labelled an "Anti-Semite" so that ends all logical criticism of him. It's the lesser-known "Jew-card" that doesn't get played as much.

        1. PalinzADummy

          Only because any Jew worth their salt looks at the shitfaced little weasel and immediately mutters, "oy, such a shonda fur die goyim" under their breath and moves away fast.

  1. EatsBabyDingos

    George is also known for asking brown people "what position did you play?", the implication that all dark people are good at sports. George was also a body part double in his "Human Anatomy" class-he was the asshole.

  2. ManchuCandidate

    I think he was hoping that zombie Alan Funt would have appeared saying he was on Candid Camera…. or better yet moaning "Brainz Brainzzzz" then being disappointed when it found none in Georgie Macaca.

  3. V572 the Merciless

    You gotta love that stricken, frozen, utterly fake-looking smile during the uncomfortable silence.

    Makes you want to see that vid of Wolfowitz licking his comb again.

  4. elviouslyqueer

    Congratulations, George. You've just earned an Academy Award™ nomination for your deft portrayal of a grinning, moronic poopsack.

    1. Rotundo_

      George didn't merely play a role, he became a grinning, moronic poopsack. Well, actually he didn't become a grinning, moronic poopsack, he already was one. Let's just say that being a grinning, moronic poopsack is something George was born to do, developed and honed to a razor's edge. A grinning, moronic poopsack among grinning, moronic poopsacks. He has transcended grinning moronically while being a poopsack. (Sorry, I just like the term grinning moronic poopsack, particularly when applied to someone who it sums up simply and eloquently.)

    1. prommie

      Ahh, I am overcome with nostalgia whenever I see or hear the word "handjob." The lost innocense of youth, when the world was somehow brighter, and even a lowly handjob was a thing of wonder and joy.

      1. Barb

        Prommie, you have no idea the sick Country Time Lemonade commercial that is playing in my head right now. "remember the good old day, tire swings, drive-in movies and beating your man's dick like it owes you money"

        1. prommie

          Some time in one's 20s, it seems to me, the handjob ceases to be a stand-alone option, replaced completely by the blowjob.

          1. DemmeFatale

            My daughter attends Santacon in NYC as a "Hanukkah Bush." She wears a flesh colored body suit with masses of glued on pubic hair. (We're so proud!)
            Upon seeing her last year, this older lady told her granddaughter: "See, I told you pubic hair was coming back!"

    2. BaldarTFlagass

      Obviously, you are talking about the "administered by others" variety. I never doubt the sincerity of a self-administered HJ.

    3. WhatTheHeck

      I gotta hand it to you, Barb. You always hit the nail on the head.
      As for George’s sincerity, he looks down at his hands and sings, “Big hands, I know you’re the one.”

  5. JackDempsey1

    Um, what I saw in this clip is a guy reciting Mr. Rogers-style holiday tripe, followed by about 30 seconds of dead air, followed by 15 seconds of grade2-level complaint. In other words, about 790% less offensive language than you would hear if you set up a microphone to record the average dad setting up the Xmas train.
    Did you edit out the part where he shoves Tiny Tim down the basement stairs?

    1. Baconzgood

      Why isn't the fucking bitch of a transformer working? I spent a hundred and fifty bucks on the god damn thing last year and even put it back in the fucking box and stored it under the god damn bed and the mother fucker doesn't work?

      1. JackDempsey1

        Most Americans are incapable of dialogue which isn't more closely tied to the movies or tv:
        "I'm tired of these muthafuckin snakes on this muthafuckin train (set)."

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    What happened to the people who were sitting in the chairs behind him? Raptured? Or did they just get bored and leave? I know which I would have done.

  7. Goonemeritus

    The Senator has yet to learn his lesson that word choice matters that taping should be called enhanced not torturous.

    1. MzNicky

      I was just thinking, he calls sitting in a chair fake-smiling at a camera "tortuous"? Hey redneck fuck in the orange tie, tell it to the waterboarded. Oh wait, that's not torture, I forgot.

  8. actor212

    Y'know how they say the most dangerous place in the world is between politician X…say, Chuck Schumer…and a camera?

    For George Allen, the most dangerous place in the world IS the camera.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Being profoundly hard of hearing, I do that all the time. Makes nearly any YouTube video x2 the fun.

  9. Baconzgood

    Off topic.

    Hey Ken,
    Can you please take down the photo shopped Kim Jong nakid picture that keeps popping up in the corner. I find it very disturbing.

      1. HedonismBot

        Maybe more like "wontcha give me something that doesn't turn me off from masturbating for the rest of my life?"

  10. SayItWithWookies

    Oh, that's nothing — if you wanna see a whiny brat throw a tantrum, wait until after his concession speech.

  11. chascates

    Romney's found one way to avoid those pesky flip-flops:

    In two TV interviews today, GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney refused to take a stance on the biggest issue in Washington today: the extension of the payroll tax holiday.

    1. HedonismBot

      They've finally gone too far on something. I mean, what the Democrats and the rest of this country's thick-headed voters consider to be "too far."

  12. Mumbletypeg

    oooh I detected — is it possible? — sarcasm in that last bit, "Let's do this again tomorrow!" From a Republican that's quite something.

    Mostly though I'm disappointed Allen didn't display more diva-like qualities between takes, uttering streams of profanities in a complete reversal of the fake glib persona shown to the public. A friend of mine who shoots local ads for things like auto dealers and high-interest ("Pay NOTHING down until 2013!") furniture warehouses has compiled enough discarded footage of the local actor personalities shilling for these businesses to splice devilshly good blooper reels; he's shown them at parties sometimes and I can only say George here has nothing on the meltdowns I've seen in the name of getting some scripted message across.

  13. Jerri

    I can't listen to the sound at work, so I'm going to assume it goes a little something like this:

    "Demand? Who are you to demand anything? I run this town. You're just a bunch of low income nobodies….."

    Aide: "Election in November, election in November."

    "What? Again? This stupid country."

  14. HedonismBot

    Allen seems to feel the same way about filming promos for voters that us unemployed schlubs feel when the job interviewer at McDonald's asks us to explain "why do you want this job?"
    Telling the truth – "I really need the money" – just doesn't fly. And every other answer is too insincere to give with a straight face. Sometimes, pretending to give a shit is just too much to ask, whether you're trying to get a minimum wage job or trying to impress those lowly voters.

  15. Tundra Grifter

    If that was a "tantrum," George Allen is the most whitebread-boring person on the face of this earth.

  16. user-of-owls

    Hey Kaia, you looking for a schtick? You know, like The Ken & Angsty Show, or Riley's Violent Pacifism…something to stand out from the crowd?

    How about Today's Greatest Pander with DJ Kaia? I think you're a swell gal and here's one to get you started:

    Romney: I'd Deport Obama's Uncle!

      1. user-of-owls

        Bachmann: I'd Dig Up Obama's Momma!

        Perry: I'd Dig Up Obama's Momma & Kill Her Agin'!

        Gingrich: I'd Dig Up Obama's Mother, Kill Her Again and Then Deport Her!
        Blitzer: And??
        Gingrich: I'd Dig Up Obama's Mother, Kill Her Again and Then Deport Her…To Space!!

        Paul: If He's White, We Tight; If He's Brown, 'Outta Town'

        1. Radiotherapy

          They do know his momma was white, right?
          And you forgot the Santorum: He would strap down the whole family, put rats on their abdomens, cover them with pots and heat the pots as the rats gnawed into their viscera to escape the heat…c'mon Obama is a baby killer Marxist and he deserves it.

  17. V572 the Merciless

    Allen is just another victim of the Gotcha media, although in this case the getters were working for him.

    Just like Obstetro-Congressman Ron Paul, whose past statements, wherein he spouts insane racist bullshit to match his insane social bullshit, are getting raked over by the media. Why are the lamestream media doing this? Because they can't let him win! Plus they look like dipshits if he wins and that can't happen either.

    He's a scary, awful, heartless man, and I do so hope he wins Iowa. Or Ricky S.

    1. proudgrampa

      Your comment reminds me that Paul is (was?) an ob-gyn. I do think that if I were a woman, I would be fairly frightened by a guy like that looking at my hoo-ha.

  18. sbj1964

    Ron Paul published some really nasty Racist shit even for a Republican.But let's remember Republicans don't hate minority's;They hate poor people,and the middle class!They don't have time to dice us all up.

      1. Mumbletypeg

        Yes but have you noticed, intensedebate doesn't allow for double-space following punctuation or much elsewhere. Sort of ends up looking crowded either way.

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