Woah! Ha ha, so in the last 48 hours the political narrative in Washington has followed a life cycle from “House Republicans won’t agree to the Senate’s two-month extension of a payroll tax cut for the freebie-loving middle class” to, now, “House Republicans are LITERALLY SETTING FIRE TO THE PARTY ITSELF,” and the Republican party will be Over and Dead basically by, eh, maybe Friday. Everyone is so confused. The Republicans are bravely destroying their party in order to raise taxes?
No one understands why John Boehner is stubbornly insisting that a temporary two-month extension of the tax holiday is so awful that the only cure for its terribleness is to force the Senate return to Washington and create a deal to make it last for, uh, twelve months instead of two. Somehow a two-month payroll tax cut for employees “creates uncertainty for employers” or whatever, which is just an economy-issues equivalent of the old standard “need to spend more time with the family” excuse for feeling embarrassed about being a fuck-up.
So, uh, does Eric Cantor have any clue what’s going on?
“I think the people of this country are tired of hearing what Washington can’t do and want to see what we can do,” said Mr. Cantor, adding, “the people of this country are beginning to wonder about the body on the other side of this Capitol and are wondering what the leader over there has against the middle class of this country.”
That’s more or less a description of the complete inverse of the situation, so — nope.
How about over on the House floor this morning? Hahahaha, no, that was mostly Steny Hoyer screaming as Speaker pro tempore Rep. Michael Fitzpatrick cold fled the chamber to prevent the Democrats from requesting an up-or-down vote on the bill, for democracy.
Hooray! And now even crusty old country club bulletin The Wall Street Journal is incredibly pissed at the House Republicans, for finally giving away the “secret” that the GOP loathes almost nothing more than the middle class:
Senate Republicans say Mr. Boehner had signed off on the two-month extension, but House Members revolted over the weekend and so the Speaker flipped within 24 hours. Mr. Boehner is now demanding that Mr. Reid name conferees for a House-Senate conference on the payroll tax bills. But Mr. Reid and the White House are having too much fun blaming Republicans for “raising taxes on the middle class” as of January 1. Don’t be surprised if they stretch this out to the State of the Union, when Mr. Obama will have a national audience to capture the tax issue.
Good job, Tea Party! [NYTimes/The Hill/WSJ]
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Answer for 10, is the reason they're a bunch of fanatical morons Alex?
Time for a Night of some, I dunno, Long Knives or something.
Extra Röhm-ing charges may apply.
Were you the A/V guy in high school, Memz?
Nope: Class Clown. Good guess, though!
I found out that making women laugh could get me laid.
Once you get them laughing, yer halfway there. Tequila shots are usually good enough for the second half.
Always worked for me. I'm a sucker for a man with a wicked sense of humor.
Ah, so that's what I should have done. 'Cause I must tell you that showing women how to design maximally efficient algorithms for NP-complete problems didn't work at all.
I found out that getting laid could make women laugh.
SO! RE-MEM-BER-WHEN-YOU-TELL-THOSE-LI-TTLE-WHITE-LIES-THAT-THE NIIIIIIIGHT… has a thousand eyes!
Oh, LONG KNIVES! Hahaha that's a bit of a misunderstanding.
Rest in Pieces GOP and take Cheney with you.
Will he be carrying Liz?
I love seeing to Republicans drones Wallow in there own pig shit.
"But Mr. Reid and the White House are having too much fun blaming Republicans for “raising taxes on the middle class” as of January 1. Don’t be surprised if they stretch this out to the State of the Union, when Mr. Obama will have a national audience to capture the tax issue."
Damn, WSJ, the Dems are playing politics and shit. How fucking dare they!!! The nerve!!
Don't worry, it won't last.
Right wing dumb asses are their own worst enemy. This level of stupid takes practice.
The Republiklans are working so hard to not do anything that President Obama wants, they are willing to slit their own throats to do it.
And if he weren't such a codependent wimp, he'd use a little bit of mental judo to turn that against them, a la, "Whatever you do, DON'T [name of thing he secretly wants them to do]".
"Congress is so strange; a man gets up to speak and says nothing, nobody listens, and then everybody disagrees."
–Will Rogers
He forgot to end it with: "…and then they go on vacation for a month."
"It's time to turn the page."
–Mark Foley
I see what you did there.
Seems to me Mr. Boner has been "on board" on quite a few occasions and then flipped. I guess his reputation and credibility don't matter any more, if it ever did.
Seems to me Boner is as much in charge of the party as the guy cleaning up after the elephants is in charge of the parade.
Well put. And well pooped.
Does this extrapolate out to Mittens/Boner 2012, aka the Flipper ticket?
That would give the Republicans a new porpoise for 2012.
Speaker Drunky McNicotinestain realizes that his caucus has been co-opted by the Tea Baggers.
Look, throwing a few hundred thousand people out of their homes when their unemployment checks are cut off is certainly worth it to make a point.
Besides, there's no poor people in America. Because color TVs and cell phones.
Toaster ovens, also, too.
Not their fault the proles live hand to mouth!!1! Why didn't they get on the Blackwater board of directors like the smart people did?
I love this meme. I can't tell you how much and how appropriate it is when talking about the GOP.
And those luxurious refrigerators and indoor plumbing.
Stop depending on others for a jerb! Create your own! Arrgle Bargle Fleen!
The delicious part is the Rethuglicans figured they could explain away their machinations and come away clean.
Unfortunately for them, following their logic relied upon the American public being able to follow four bounces of the legislative ball, when they only have the attention span to follow two.
FAIL, Corporate-Owned US Media! Your training has backfired!
It's hard to gauge the will of the people when the only person you ever talk to is Grover Norquist.
"It's
hardimpossible to gauge the will of the people when the onlypersonasshole you evertalklisten to is Grover Norquist." Fixed.You can be my editor anytime!
They started off by trying to claim that Obama was stealing from the Social Security Fund to pay for this tax cut, until they realized that since 2005, they have been trying to do away with Social Security.
“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.”
–Will Rogers
I think it might be worth updating Rogers' remark, given that nowadays the choice seems to be between "getting the government you're paying for" versus "getting a fifth of the government we're paying for plus ten times the military manpower, equipment and weapons of mass destruction to conquer the combined forces of the rest of the world several dozen times over, funneling billions into the pockets of well-connected military contractors and their expensive lobbying operations, and requiring a ginned-up state of perpetual war to keep people from asking to look at the books".
Not wearing my glasses, at first I thought you wrote "…to keep people from asking to look at the boobs", and for a brief moment I can't tell you how my mind raced with the possibilities.
Hey, Republicans! Obama is going to try to take away the guns of anyone who tries to play Russian Roulette! Are you going to let him dictate to you that way?
That nanny-state Kenyan also wants to make it a crime to drink Tilex! Let's show him!
I heard he just appointed a Don't Stick Your Hand Down the Garbage Disposal When It's Running Czar!
Is his name Lefty?
Nah, he's a guinea. Guido "Two Fingers" Scungilli.
I've been waiting for Lefty.
Obama just came out for making illegal for dudes to suck dick………
If you're going to drink Tilex, make sure to have an ammonia chaser to wash it down smooooth…
President Obama is kicking it back watching the GOP implode.
not to, or purposely to be, confused with:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tylex
This is what you get when you vote into office a bunch of people who are always saying how much they hate government.
"Durr."
That has been so galling for me lately. Now that I think of it, that sounds like something a suicide bomber would do.
…oh God…!
"Government is the problem! So elect me & I'll make it even worse!" = the motto of anyone running for public office in the United States of Teapartistan since 2010.
Voting for a Republicon to run your government is like hiring a carpenter who thinks tools are evil.
What's left of Abe Lincoln's shattered skull must be spinning in his grave. Ok, maybe not spinning. How about 'whirring' or 'swirling' or maybe, 'Abe's Broken Skull's Pixie Dust Goes 'Poof!'
Honest Abe needs this like he needs a hole in the head.
Oh, …
All we can hope is that they succeed.
At something, finally.
All we can hope is that if they don't succeed that they secede, instead.
CBS's Bob Schieffer intones:
Forget who is at fault. They all are for letting it go this far. Both sides are so determined to undermine the other that they can't even figure out how to do something they both want: Extend the payroll tax cut.
This is objective journalism?
So I've got yet another journalist to add to the "fucking moron reporters" list, do I? Just ONCE I'd like to hear someone outside of MSNBC come out and say that the problem is that the Democrats have been compromising time and time again, only to be hit with more and more obstructionism from the Party of No…
"He should be doddering around Texas somewhere pissing his pants and telling the young whippersnappers about the "good ol' days" and eating lots of tapioca."
He's doing everything you list there, I am sure, he's just doing it in the NY studio and not in TX.
No, this is yet another example of the "False Equivalence" I have been ranting about for the past two days: that the corporate-owned media presents both sides of the issue as if each side has equal merit.
NO THEY DON'T!
False Equivalence masquerades as Objectivity, but it's the failure to call a fail a fail.
The old joke (Jon Stewart?) that if today's media were back in Galileo's time, the headline would be "Opinions On Shape Of Earth Differ."
Mem, Mem…
*shakes head gently*
We could play the blame game all day, if we wanted to talk about who obstructs everything Obama tries to do, or who has an orange fake tan that's made even oranger by the nicotine stains…
Oh, wait. No, we couldn't.
Carry on, then.
Bob Scheiffer sucks out loud, always has. He's been dead how long now?
No it's not.
However, this might make more sense.
http://www.denverpost.com/nationworld/ci_19437003...
That bullshit is the only kind of "opinion" that "objective broadcasters" are allowed to state on "legitimate outlets" — tsk-tsking "both sides" on not getting something done.
Very cool (finally!) when Jay Carney told the White House press corps, "You misunderstand. There is no political quid pro quo here." when asked at a briefing what the President was offering Boehner to reverse himself.
Right on, chascates–when someone says, "forget who is at fault," you know he/she is working for the guy who is at fault.
Barney Frank may have retired and took his with him, but there are still at least 242 boobs left in the House of Representatives.
He's not retiring until after the 2012 election, right? Pleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyes…
Because at this point we can't stand to lose even one librul in the House. Also for the lulz he brings us.
good ol' Barney "Glass Cutter" Frank.
"Speaker pro tempore Rep. Michael Fitzpatrick cold fled the chamber to prevent the Democrats from requesting an up-or-down vote on the bill, for democracy."
Run away!!! Run away!!!
Bravely turned his tail and fled!
Boy Hannity, Rush et al. are going to deliver Speaker pro tempore Rep. Michael Fitzpatrick a series of stern rebukes when this gets out. Remember how appalled they professed to be about the Wisconsin state senators who fled the state to prevent Walker's allies from getting a quorum to vote in Walker's union-busting bill? How undemocratic they thought it was?
I swear I read somewhere early today that Michael Fitzpatrick was just "following orders" of his leadership. Which of course raises an entirely new line of snark.
EDIT: Ah, here.
Brave sir Robin, indeed.
Could you imagine the pearl clutching that would be occurring now, if it had been Speaker Pelosi or Steny Hoyer that made the same move?
Well, of course the Reeps are starting to eat their own. They must have given up trying to figure out how to put a winning spin on raising taxes on the poor and middle class while cutting them for the rich (that "job creators" excuse wearing thin as it becomes clear that the rich are *not* creating jobs…)
And let me guess–FOX News is doing another segment on the War on Christmas.
Happy fucking holidays to you too, Greedy One Percent (with thanks to another Wonketteer for that gem…)
And happy fucking holidays to you, my fellow native Pittsburgher Callyson. Murry Christmas 'n 'at.
Kenny Rogers should do an update to that old song and call it Cowards of the COUNTRY.
If I recall that song correctly, from an old buddy of mine who listens to that stuff, the coward of the county ended up whooping some asses after his woman got attacked by a bunch of thugs. So maybe we should send the original version to the Dems in Congress, not to mention the White House…
Oh, yeah. It's bubbling back up from the cauldron of mental muck that my childhood memories have congealed into. Folks call him a coward because he's a peace-loving man, not given to violent words or acts. But then they push him too far. Fisticuffs ensue. Righteous beatings, whuppins, ass-kickings, thrashings, and stompings are then served up by the CotC to local ruffians. Townsfolk are suitably chastened.
Now that, my friend, is the 100% all-American classic storytelling and musical entertainment we've come to expect from the ol' Silver Fox.
i can imagine the seed of this song forming: "sooo, dude. what if like i wrote a song about some dude who was all "peace, love, dope' and people were harshing his mellow. but then, but then… but then. but then he like…kicks all their asses! epic, dude." *gurglegurglegurgle*
One of the only guys at my school that had longer hair than I did in the 60's was also a Golden Gloves boxer, one bad-assed hippie…
"call it Cowards of the COUNTRY"
Emphasis on the "cunt".
I believe it is a parliamentary maneuver known as "Feets, don't fail me now."
In my youth, we called it "H.A. Theory." Haul Ass!
"And now, for my next impression: Jesse Owens."
Last one into the bathtub is a strangled Republican!
Why am I thinking that Cantor engineered this revolution to ratfuck Boehner out of the speaker post and come to the rescue? He certainly has the shit-weasel cred to be trying to drive things off the rails, either that or there is literally no cohesion left in the republican camp. Fun to watch from the sidelines, but it sucks large for anyone waiting on a check to survive. Remember to vote these fuckers out folks!
The problem with voting the fuckers out is that then a whole bunch of new fuckers get voted in.
At this point I'd settle for the lesser of two fuckers.
Don't count on it from Virginia.
Virginia is for Fuckers.
We voted them out in 2006 and 2008. Then, a bunch of teatards voted the fuckers back in. Even if Americans wise up and vote them out again next year, there's no doubt in my mind they'll be back again in 2014.
Remember this? http://www.google.com/imgres?q=time+magazine+enda...
Seems like only yesterday, doesn't it?
i for one will take your analysis as comfort when i lose my unemployment check.
(i am not snarking. cantor is a disaster for republicans. and odious to boot. couldn't ask for a better face for the right).
(Snark off) I am well and truly sorry for you and everyone else who are looking for work due to the blessings of the unregulated (read-Casino) economy we are struggling in. Somewhere pragmatic policy lost out (during the Reagan administration, but chugging along through a bipartisan series of congresses and administrations) and here we are. The biggest suck of all of this is the amount of energy and intellect just waiting for the opportunity to do some god damned thing. Hang in there, unless tenured or independently wealthy, many of us are hanging on by a thread about to join you, if not for the first time, perhaps a second or third round. My best wishes to you, stay strong out there.
thank you for that. fortunately mr. fuflans still has his job, our mortgage is very small and we've never carried any debt, so we're much better off than many other people.
but yeah, we've dropped a couple of classes in the last two years.
thanks job creators!!
If I remember correctly, aren't the Tea Baggers planning on mounting a primary challenge to Boehner over the compromise of raising the debt ceiling?
Cantor wonders what his cult's leader has against the middle class of this country? Seriously?
That was completely rhetorical. Cantor's never held a non-governmental job outside of working for his daddy's real estate company that sold slum-grade real estate to the poors. Cantor probably considers himself as being from a "middle-class" background. Which he isn't. So I can understand Cantor's confusion about who's "middle-class".
"Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." — Mark Twain.
"There's nothing wrong with our Congress; we have the best Congress money can buy."
Also Mark Twain
"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."
Also by… drumroll… Mark Twain. (Chapter VIII, Following the Equator)
Anyone still listens to Eric Cantor? Why?
To the villagers horseshit is preferrable to dead air. If there is a camera within eyeshot, the beady eyed little shit will dance for it. Just don't get between him and the camera.
I figured out why Cantor talks the way he does: Paul Ryan's dick.
Bingo!
"Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it." –PJ O'Rourke
Cantor is a smirky little rat. Everytime I see his little rat-face on TV, I seriously want to take a swing at that jaw. A hard swing.
For a time, we tried to attach, "filthyweasel" to him. Not just the noun, the verb too:
"On a happier note, Scott Walker was convicted of 17 counts of filthyweaseling with the recall election returns today…"
Sadly, it did not catch on.
kids today really, really like the portmanteau. maybe "sleasel" as in sleaze weasel?
edit: apparently, someone was thinking along the same lines as me. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sl...
House Members revolted over the weekend
A-rab Sprang fail!
The members are revolting…in more ways than one…
You said it. They stink on ice!
Pete Hoekstra just tweeted: "now i know what it was like 2 b jew in warsaw getto n 1943."
Warsaw ghetto history fail.
Who could have imagined that people who have nothing but contempt for government could completely screw it up?
I wonder what's flowing harder at this point Boehner's tears or his whiskey …
Does it have to be a contest?
He follows his Macallan Fine & Rare with a tears chaser.
He's probably crying orange tears into a double.
A Boehnerita.
Nice to see I'm not the only insomniac hanging out on wonkette in the middle of teh night.
It has already been established (by me) that Boehner weeps bitter, bitter Cointreau.
Wouldn't hose be more like Campari tears?
close enough to Grand Marnier for this recipe. you may also substitute Reagan's Embalming Fluid for Regan's Orange Bitters which makes the name more appropriate.
http://cocktailvirgin.blogspot.com/2009/09/root-o...
Grover is checking his list for who's naughty and nuts.
When you elect tinfoil-hatted, flat-earther, paint-huffing, RaptorJebus-worshipping, Randroid assholes to Congress, you get tinfoil-hat, flat-earth, paint-fume, RaptorJebus, Randian assholish results.
That the Rich Cunt Gazette is shocked, shocked, that Congress is incompetent, is just icing on the shitcake.
"Let them eat shitcake." Sounds about right.
We never did find that shitcake uranium, did we?
American exceptionalism is a two edged sword.
If they keep this up, they can make the Oklahoma legislature look wise.
Obama looks like a miracle worker when he gets anything done with these ass-clowns.
Well, he IS the Messiah.
And Jesus was a Socialist.
and Jesus Was a Capricorn. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCdfYkUPvTs&fe...
Rick Perry is OK with the 2 month plan since he can't remember the other 10 months in the year.
"Oops."
Ooh, does anyone else read Newsweek? I'm reading the latest issue (the one with Meryl Streep dressed as Maggie Thatcher), and came across this sentence:
"Ayn Rand was a virulently anti-Christian uber-libertarian whose turgid prose and supremely selfish philosophy has inspired decades of trust-fund kids to smoke dope at boarding school and mock homeless people."
Golf clap… well done, Newsweek! Well done!
Unfortunately, no one reads Newsweek these days (except you, obviously. And the people waiting in my dentist's office).
Eh, I get 'em free from work. Y'all are missing out. That same article also contains this sentence of beauty: "Michele Bachmann seems to love to go right to the brink of crazy and then leap."
I think Paul Begala is my new favorite writer!
Begala has had a couple of good ones lately in Newsweek. He's unabashedly biased, which is such a nice change of pace.
Damn… that's awesome!
And yet again:
“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
― John Rogers
I loved me my LOTR when I was a kid.
Frodo gave his finger for you.
My kid just finished ROTK today… I'm so proud!
Congrats!
I do. Thought I was the only one. It's gotten almost….good….
Yeah! Suck it, Time!
Now, I don't want to go out too far on a limb here, but the GOP might quite possibly manage to pull of a feat that, until very recently, most educated observers considered to be a political impossibility equivalent to squaring the circle: yes, I'm talking about the GOP being so unabashedly, undeniably, inexcusably, cynical, unreasonable and intransigent that the mainstream media finds no plausible excuse for blaming both parties equally for the gridlock in Washington, or insisting that the fault lies with President Obama for not being willing enough to compromise.
Please see chascate's post, and replies thereto, upthread a ways.
Mother Fuck!
I mean, really… words escape me…. the only phrase I can cling to at the moment is "Mother fuck."
Fuck the fucking mainstream media. Yeah…. fuck them.
The MSM ain't getting it, but the voters are.
http://www.denverpost.com/nationworld/ci_19437003...
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!" – Sinclair Lewis
"yes, I'm talking about the GOP being so unabashedly, undeniably, inexcusably, cynical, unreasonable and intransigent that the mainstream media finds no plausible excuse for blaming both parties equally"
Ch'yeah, right.
Those fuckers could run down the street holding the severed head of a Cub Scout, and the mainstream media wouldn't call them on their shit.
GOP, that be my name; overreach, that be my game!
Oh I thought it was the reacharound–I guess that is just Rick Perry's game…hey-ooooooohhhh….
The Crank ABIDES!
Wish I could take long vacations like that.
I suspect he's been locked up
Not if that guy's story from Gawker is true – sounds like ol Rick can't be bothered to give a reacharound. Just drop those sweaty shorts, jump on and go to town, For a minute.
The schadenfreude would be fucking delicious if the state of our alleged governance weren't so abjectly sad and disgusting. Fuckers.
I settle for the House Repooplicans being shot and fried.
Shorter Cantor: "It's all Obama's fault!"
Wait, Obama wanted the extension to pass? Well, it's still his fault it didn't pass.
(Fingers in ears.) "Nyah nah nah, I can't hear you!"
The #2 in the Republican-held House blames the Democratic POTUS for the bill not being brought to a vote in the House, by the Republican leadership that controls it.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense to me, honestly.
It's like a headline in The Onion:
"Republicans Blame President for Putting up Insufficient Resistance to Them".
If you're talking about his quote about the "body on the other side of this Capitol," I think he's referring to the Senate. But your larger point is still accurate.
Going from a circle jerk to a circling firing squad is a vast improvement.
I guess Boehner is the pivot man, in either scenario?
The cleanup is nasty in both cases, but they have private firms that handle that I guess.
Xe.
Thereby making them job creators?
Died of a theory.
"“I think the people of this country are tired of hearing what Washington can’t do and want to see what we can do,” said Mr. Cantor."
Oh, Mr. Can't-or, you don't have a fucking clue what the people of this country are tired of, elsewise you'd take a straight razor to the throats of just about every other motherfucker in Congress, and then to yourself, for democracy.
According to Boehner, Cantor, et. al, the people of this country are tired of whatever Boehner, Cantor, et. al, say they are.
I'm a people of this country, and I am SO tired of Republicans and their shit.
I'm torn…on the one hand I pay a lot more in taxes. On the other, we get to bury the goopers.
Some dilemmas are rather delicious.
That would be a reasonable investment, but for the fact that the Donkeys will manage to trip over their own limp dicks and – like herpes or the clap – some newer, more reason-resistant mutation of the GOP will manage to slide along their slime trails into office…..
" but for the fact that the Donkeys will manage to trip over their own limp dicks and – like herpes or the clap – some newer, more reason-resistant mutation of the GOP ….."
*wipes a tear away*
Beautiful. "Reason-resistant"? Fuckin' poetry.
I'm perfectly willing to pay more in taxes if it means taking the goopers down.
Hey Cantor, the people of this country are too busy eating themselves to death to give a shit who you are or what you're saying. Maybe if you spent less time staring in a mirror and more time at Wal Mart you'd realize this.
Beat them senseless, every payday, forever. The 2% tax increase is worth the show they will put on!
Agreed. In my case, 2 percent of not much equals not much (if I remember my math). What about, duh, raising the salary ceiling for paying into SS? Oh, wait. That would be taxing the job creators. Never mind. Sorry. Too. Also.
I so wish Saturn would eat Boehner . Then Cantor, then Newt, then…
Please – like Saturn would have room for anything else after eating Newt.
That's why he was saved for third! Maybe a nice brandy after Newt and he'd want to keep going with the Koch bros.
Not Rick Perry, though, because Uranus.
The header picture makes me think of "OM NOM NOM". It's mildly discomfiting.
President Obama: I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya!
(Narrator) President Obama created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat!
And Boehner is left standing there with his tongue frozen to the pole.
The Classic 1955 Cha Cha……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrsioTFddKo&fe...
I don't know why you posted that, but I like it.
I dunno. Was reading and laughing and started addiing cha cha cha…to comments……then pictured a couple hundred wonketeer gravs doing a cha cha . Just sharing.
I crack myself up sometimes.
Glad you liked it.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Og1QRtcWdEY
It's an anatomical first. Teabagging yourself.
I actually saw a guy* in Thailand once who could do that. I never dreamed I see it on these shores.
*OK, "guy" might be pushing it.
I'm almost there.. it's those last 1 or 2 spinal disks.
I guess Obama finally won that game of 11-dimensional chess, nu?
you know what? i am so looking forward to family christmas dinner this year.
the only thing i'm still wondering is, should i go with 'baggers are the boil on the ass of the american polity' or 'HAHAHAHAHHA republicans!! least effective party since communist party!"
also, i would welcome any other suggestions.
I plan to go with "nah nah na nah nah."
Throw in a reference to the Whig Party. That will get their cross-sex underwear in a twist.
Give them the chart where Congress is less popular that "the US going communist"
As counterintuitive as it may sound, I’ve taken to faking a concerned look and asking , almost in a whisper, “What’s going on with your party?” They’ll give you this look and,if you’ve faked the sincerity well enough, you’ll get this sad scared little inner child response that can be a refreshing change from watching the veins swell on their foreheads.
You can, of course, follow up with raucous laughter and get their veins too if you feel so inclined.
i like the way you think!
You WON me!!!
I almost want Republican relatives just so I can do that.
That's a great holiday survival tip. Thanks!
Eh, my wingnut relatives cling stubbornly to their deep deep denial. They still insist everything would be JUST FINE if those dirty hippie "OccupyMainStreeters" or whatever they call themselves would just go get a job.
wow. i just took a random survey of the news sites i use and they are ALL blaming republicans (and no, i'm not counting the WSJ).
this is the first time i've seen this since this shithole congress got elected.
wow. christmas gifts indeed.
Those who hold the leash and buy the golden collars and doggy treats for the Tea Party are fed up with the bullshit, and have rolled up their newspapers. It's time for Cesar to show them who's alpha!
I think the people of this country are tired of hearing what Washington can’t do and want to see what we can do,” said Mr. Cantor
"And what we can do is make sure that there is nothing left but a smoldering pile of ruble where this once great country stood. Down with the New Deal! Galt Gulch Lives!!!"
That "Galt Gulch" has never been anything other than a pit.
Can you really blame the GOP? Every time they move the goal post, the Dems usually give in. Here they got their pipeline and everything else, while the Dems gave up their millionaire tax. Can you blame them for trying to get even more when the basic issue (unemployment, the middle class) they don't really care about, and they know the Dems do? Who would have expected the Dems to suddenly grow a back bone.
I honestly don't see how the Dems have done anything different than usual. What happened was that the bill passed the Senate a whopping 89-10. If anyone is giving anyone cover, it was the Senate goopers for the Senate Dems. What's different isn't that Dems have grown a backbone, but that theygave the House goopers everything they wanted…and the House goopers totally stopped responding.
To be fair, thy Dems can't even actually cave at the moment. If they could, they would. But since the bill passed the Senate with bipartisan support, and the Senate is on vacation, and the Repubs are (cynically) claiming that they want something that the Dems would have happily given them right off the bat… well, I mean, all anyone can do is scratch their head a bit.
The media has to keep up a see-sawing narrative. If there was no horse race, how would Rasmussen, Roper, QueenOpeepee, and Tweety Matthews go on making a living? Job Creation!
OT, but I was just watching that smug shitball Scott Pelley on the CBS evening news and there was a story about 64% of refined oil being exported. 64%.
So all this bullshit about "energy independence" and "drill baby drill" wrt oil is just an excuse for enriching the execs and shareholders of oil companies, right? Right? Oh wait, we won't hear that.
We need to know more to tell if this is relevant to energy independence. Is the crude oil that is subsequently refined into those exports itself imported or domestic? Is it just that the US refineries have so much excess refinery capacity compared to, say, Canada or Mexico then it might make economic sense, both for the companies involved and the country to import twice or three times the US needs, refine it, and then ship over half of it back out again?
Mostly imported – this is a gross figure.
There is a large refining capability in the US – which puts the lie on the '08 republican claim that EPA rules were preventing new refineries and thus pushing up gas prices – but once the oil is imported, it's treated as a fungible commodity and priced as such.
It's not like some refineries only buy cheap oil from Mexico and sell the refined products overseas whilst others buy American oil and sell to gas stations in the US. It's a commodity market.
edit: I know this isn't *strictly* true wrt fungibility, but often imported oil is worth *more* than domestic depending on what you're refining. In general crude is fungible.
On one hand, Americans are independent and self-reliant people, and boy howdy, drill-baby-drill is the route to energy independence for America.
On the other hand, if China goes on a diesel fuel spending spree, refineries in Texas are going to shift gasoline production over to diesel, making both more expensive in Evanston and in Shanghai. Petroleum is fungible, and the Free Market is God's will.
It's a paradox, and the only way to deal with those is to ignore one side at a time. Legalize the Constitution! But also arrest activist judges!
Free speech-money for all corporate-Americans! But also we'll arrest you for terrorism if we don't like what you say or where you say it!
The American people will get not a drop of gasoline, not a dollar of income, not an ounce of "energy security" from the Keystone XL pipeline.
It terminates in Port Arthur, Texas, a tax-free Foreign Trade Zone export terminal. A TransCanada official, speaking before Congress, specifically refused to guarantee in writing that the oil would stay in the US.
No US study has been made of the corrosive effect that its DilBit product (diluted bitumen) has on pipe — so there are no Federal regulations.
DilBit pipelines rupture ten times more often than regular oil pipelines. Keystone XL's route over the Ogallala Aquifer imperils a $60 billion agriculture industry. Even a small leak can migrate and pollute the entire formation.
Lastly, Koch Industries, through its Flint Hills subsidiary, owns a substantial interest in the tar sand fields, refineries, and fuel terminals along the route.
The Canadians have refused permission to build a pipeline west to Port Vancouver for export to China, so Keystone XL is the only economical way to get this DilBit to market.
US taxpayers should not subsidize the construction of, and receive no money from, a pipeline which sends oil out of the US, enriches the Koch Brothers, and risks ruining a $60 billion industry — in return for "50 permanent jobs."
__________________________________________________
[ SOURCES: http://bit.ly/t3FD9P-- http://bit.ly/vQlMos -- http://bit.ly/tbYx5I -- http://bit.ly/s7UfUr -- http://bit.ly/hZ3k0X -- http://1.usa.gov/tacyaG -- http://bit.ly/q47A2n -- Congressional Research Service report: http://bit.ly/w0CjT8 -- US State Dept report: http://bit.ly/tATsHz -- Cornell University study: http://bit.ly/oBVEe9 ]
Sweet fucking non-jebus.
Thanks memzilla. I knew these cunts were corrupt, but this level of corruption and blatant disregard for ANYTHING else beggars belief.
Please help spread the word. It's so repugnant, it's why I have posted the source links. You know, for those Faux News hypnotees. For them, I love leading off with the "If this is for our energy security, then why did TransCanada refuse to guarantee the oil will stay in the US?"
Funnily enough, the oil will not go to China; Port Arthur exports to Europe and South America. The Canadians refused to permit the pipeline to cross the Canadian Rockies to Port Vancouver, which is the most direct route to China.
Supertankers of the VLCC and ULCC classes are larger than Panamax, so would have to round South America to get to China, adding significant cost and transit time.
You know, somehow I entertained the fantasy that once Dubya and Co. were out of office my outrage fatigue would fade away. Oh silly silly me. It's now been upgraded (?) to chronic outrage fatigue.
The thing about this entire past year that confuses the fuck out of me is that thing where somehow the Senate is the prompt and effectual body on Capitol Hill, self-imposed procedural hamstringing and all.
Well, it helps that the Senate doesn't have too many members that should be legislating with helmets on. The same can't be said of the House.
This is a lot like the person who stands on the edge of a 10 story building and threatens to jump, but in this case, I say "have at it".
only Tebowz can help us now
Hehe…hahaha! It's so cute that Cantor is pretending to know that the "middle class" is an actual group of people. Has anyone told him that they no longer exist?
"Under God"? Fuck those guys.
That clip was posted because of the stupid pledge, right?
“House Republicans are LITERALLY SETTING FIRE TO THE PARTY ITSELF,” and the Republican party will be Over and Dead basically by, eh, maybe Friday."
Let's hope Dick Cheney lives at least long enough to see this happen.
No snark, I never had much of the impression that Dick Cheney gave a rat's ass about the Republican Party, or anything other than his own sorry ass. If he cared about the Republican Party, he would have decided to commit suicide back in 2000 rather than annoint himself Vice-President in order to pay back the corporation he (also) nearly drove into the ground.
Spot on.
Let's see, Republican politicians, driving corporations into the ground, then coasting to electoral victory on their "business experience" in the private sector. Then driving USAmerica into the ground. Seems to be a common theme.
What would Vaclav Havel do?
Probably give up and guzzle a fifth of vodka. Remember, he only had to deal with Communist dictators.
Congratulations GOP your Nazi Teabaggers have got you by the short hairs ! Suckers
OT Paul's brief flicker of hope as the next republican darling is cut short by an embarrassing cnn interview hissy fit. So…who's next?
Who's left? Maybe it's Mr. Frothy Anal Lube's turn.
Unless the Draft Grifterella movement takes wing like a rabid dodo.
I read at first "rabid dildo." Right before going to bed . So, thanks. Can I call you when I wake up at 3 a.m., being attacked by rabid dildos launched by Sarah Palin.
Oh, definitely the Santorum surge. Definitely.
"Clean up in aisle 2"
"For whatever reason?"
The Grand Old Party is the party of the Perpetual Death Wish and Self-Sabotage. The Republican Party is, quite frankly, the party of the Apocalypse; it's the party of Uncreative Destruction. The GOP is dangerously dull, but serious as sin.
I can haz gud guvermint, pleazes?
But, but, but, they were for it before they were against it. Surely that is worth something.
Man, the route Republican Party will choose just because "the president is a Near." I wish he'd have used this to his advantage way sooner than he has. Usually, self-immolation is done for more noble goals.
The FUCK!?! The bill passed the Senate fucking 89 to 10, a bill which included shit like the Keystone XL decision you wanted, didn't include a millionaires tax, etc..! I agree. Let's see what the country can do. Let's see if you can do your fucking job and round up the votes needed in the House to pass this bill you sniveling, little weasel of a man-shaped-humanoid.
Oh, lawdy, lawdy, lawdy, y'all's testin' my last damn never.
Isn't Rep. Eric Cantor from the same Virginia district that Sen. George "Macaca" Allen was?
[Edit: Oops, he did it again.]
a bill which included shit like the Keystone XL decision you wanted, didn't include a millionaires tax, etc..
Aside from Obama playing an 8-level cheese move on these fucks — maybe so he can rub their noses in Grover's shit pledge, what does the center and left get out of this deal? A paltry, cheap payroll tax bonus that comes out of Social Security? How is that any better than Bush sending everybody $300 bucks whilst he cut taxes on the rich by billions. Same bullshit here, the Bush/Obama tax cuts stand. What an awful and demeaning diversionary tactic. I, for one, find this whole game insulting. It keeps the MSM and political discussion so far away from the real issues. While it's fun to watch the teabaggers flail, the country is in a lose-lose situation.
I've been saying this from the beginning. We are left to "winning" by blowing up SS. We're literally arguing over whether to keep raiding SS or not, which is a GOP thing. It's distressing to say the least.
The whole thing is fucked at the moment.
Here in a little bit of CA we're seeing record receipts for crimble shopping. It's a kinda tony area.
The reason I mention this is because I'm of the opinion that the 25% at the top are seeing far less threat to their jobs now. The economy might have been moribund for the last year, but the top-end have seen that it's not going to fuck them.
This, in turn, should revitalize corporate spending. Top 25%-ers are dumbfuck high-middle-management cunts who decide this shit. There's opportunity out there now, so these mongs should see it.
I really hoped this'd happen before 2012, and if it does it's my Christmas present. It'll mean the economy has a slow-but-definite growth over the next year, with corresponding decrease in unemployment. Proper growth, not GWB horseshit bubble growth.
As much as Hopey has pissed me off, I want him to get a second term, especially if the economy starts on its inevitable resurgence.
Fingers are crossed.
edit: I kinda got off point there. I want hopey to win a second term and refactor the tax code (removing the Bush tax cuts) and start doing a Clinton. Reduce the deficit. He can do it with a good economy.
I haven't given up on our beloved leader quite yet. I can truly understand his fear of being an OTP. And at the same time, no matter how trite it seems, his best chance of avoiding that shame is an economy on at least stable footing — it's the economy stupid. I like how he has already addressed the "are you better off than you were four years ago" crap.
The huge difference between him and Carter (whom I respect) and Bush Sr. for that matter is the total clown car the GOP has got. There is no Reagan or Clinton on the other side. They hate Romney, and anybody else is a total asswipe.
So I can see Obama winning this thing, and then, my last refuge is that he totally kicks some ass. Naturally, a less than teabagger Congress will help, but it's possible that for four years we could have someone who is, at minimum, Left of center and intelligent and knows how to get things done.
Merry fucking Solstice you guys.
this is what i have been shrieking here in the comfort and safety of my kitchen for the last three days.
i think harry reid said it best (which is hard to believe): we already reached agreement, the republicans and democrats in the senate reached agreement.
oh, and no, cantor can't.
There's video over at TPM of Karl Rove of all people telling the GOP House members they blew it on this one. He then throws in the desperate Hail Mary plan that the House should wait until Obama gets on the plane to Hawaii, then vote on the two-month extension and use the vote to beat up on the president and Harry Reid somehow for not being there. Not quite sure how that would help, since presumably they would be voting on the Senate bill and I'm betting the president could have someone bring him the damn bill in Hawaii to sign, not to mention no one is going to be paying attention anyway. But watching Karl wave his stubby little arms like a beached seal trying to crawl back towards the ocean is kind of fun.
The president should pull a Coleman A. Young (former mayor-for-life of Detroit), and from the beach send back a videotapped message opening his greeting with "Aloha, motherfuckers!"
i knew nothing about this guy until i clicked your link. fascinating.
as he also said, "Swearing is an art form. You can express yourself much more exactly, much more succinctly, with properly used curse words."
Young was a hell of a man. He not only fought against racism for most of his life, he put himself in positions where he would be a target for the racist hoodlums who ran things. He was a union organizer and a socialist when it was dangerous for whites to be either one.
White people didn't understand where Young was coming from–they didn't get that he grew up with crosses burning on the front lawn amidst the unchecked political power of the KKK. When he said that he favored gun ownership because black people needed to protect themselves against whites he wasn't (only) being outrageous–he could remember when it was absolutely necessary.
i think it's sad we don't seem to have very many politicians these days who are willing to be so blunt in a way that's not just trying to appeal to their base. this made me lol last night:
"I'm smiling all the time. That doesn't mean a God damned thing except I think people who go around solemn-faced and quoting the Bible are full of shit."
At least a seal's voice is easy to listen to. By comparison.
as is the screeching of dolphins.
"But watching Karl wave his stubby little arms like a beached seal trying to crawl back towards the ocean is kind of fun."
I didn't know Karl was a thalidomide baby.
Too soon?
House GOP Trying to Murder Their Own Party
Finally, a GOP agenda I can whole-heartedly support.
In an especially classy move, Boehner apparently had C-SPAN cameras cut off:
http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2011/12/21/39399...
I'm guessing their next parliamentary procedure will be setting fire to the Reichstag.
Funny how some of the politicians think the burden on employers to figure how much to pay employees is just too great for extending the payroll tax holiday. Hello, you've been using this system! And if you are a small biz, it's a tiny adjustment in Quickbooks or Quicken. Call me.
Yeah, I love that pic. I want congress to start an American idol sort of contest in which the losers voted off are consumed from the head first. I would totally watch that shit.
In re the graphic: it is a nice reminder that the religious tribe eats its own.
Just because I haven't said this in a while:
WHERR ARE THE JOBZ, BONER?????3??33??????????!!
I guess it's round #2 of keeping OWS out of the MSM news. They just hoped the 99% would go away. And a modicum of hope.
Way back in the olden days there was this thing called The Reichstag Fire. I know, history is boring. Long story short, the Nazis burned it down, blamed it on innocent Jews, there was a war, lots of dead people on both sides including the innocent Jews &c. So, there is a long history of the right wing doing shit, blaming it on others, and toasting over the flames. My point is that Boner is unlikey to care even if his own party crumbles around him. He's an asshat.
Yeah, but the Reichstag Fire didn't happen in the time of Twitter. There is no way Boehner effectively gets away with sticking this one on the president or the Senate. No fucking way. Even the rag that is the WSJ editorial page prevents this, now. The House is already on record as having set this proverbial fire.
He doesn't have to care. The fucker is (burnt) toast.
Tell if I got this straight…
Senate Republicans didn't want the payroll tax cut extension at all, but in a deal with the Democrats, finally agreed to let it go for 2 months. House Republicans said 2 months isn't enough, so we're going to hold our breath until we get a 12-month extension?
And since Democrats will vote for ANY payroll tax cut, so this is basically just brinksmanship between two groups of Republicans, but they're still trying to blame the Democrats for it?
Is this story really that absurd, or am I missing something?
well there is the part about boehner's speakership in jeopardy but other than that, no, you're spot on.
That teabagger experiment didn't work out so well, did it ?
These bastards are more destructive than Kali, destroyer of worlds.
Republicans: No. No. No. No. D'oh! No. No. *spin*
Also, too: Yes. Yes. Yes. Wut, you agree? No. No. No.
Overreacharound.
My Schaden is very freude over this reversal of roles.
All those jobless who will lose their unemployment compensation…hang on. Calista Gingrich is coming. Her soothing words to the nation will make you forget your pain.
Ya know, they can have the 40 (+ or -) from my check. I am just loving the Teabagger standoff. <<<<Fuck them. They're the party of Blow Me!
I guess it's funny watching the Republicans fight internally over how best to screw us.
I only hope enough voters have awoken from their Ronald Reagan/Koch Bros/Fox News-induced right-wing Stockholm Syndrome to send the GOP into the dustbin of forgotten political parties in 2012.
No matter how this clusterfuck plays out, one thing is certain, the 99% are the ones that will get hurt the most.
“House Republicans are LITERALLY SETTING FIRE TO THE PARTY ITSELF,”
Pictures/video or it didn't happen, although I hope it did.
*crosses fingers and wishes real hard*
"But Mr. Reid and the White House are having too much fun blaming Republicans for “raising taxes on the middle class” as of January 1. Don’t be surprised if they stretch this out to the State of the Union, when Mr. Obama will have a national audience to capture the tax issue."
Because when you accurately describe the actions of the Repukes and their corporate overlords, it's class warfare.
As long has he has a six-figure income and rock-hard abs, henghnhgh?
Heh. Suck-er.
While not required, such attributes never hurt; might help.
je je je
Six-figure abs are nice and all, but "brainy" is the defining factor.
John Candy, when asked what was the most important part of the male body, quipped: "His wallet. It should be bulging at all times."
I don't know how to explain this, but my panties just hit the floor.
what's this "getting laid" thing i keep hearing about?
My experience is that laughing comes before, and crying comes after.
You're asking the wrong person!
I think we might know each other.
I dare say my teenage years would have been very different if I had gone to a high school populated exclusively by young Wonkettistas. Perhaps if I'm very, very, very, very good, it will happen in a future life.
that's crazy. i've never seen a hippie fight! those must've been truly different times. all the hippies i've known could barely get off the couch to, you know, do…something.
but these are third or fourth generation hippies who have made smoking weed a lifestyle and seem to lack substance or coherent thought. probably because they're always super fucking high. it's all hacky sack and Phish.
Works both ways. That's why Michelle O'B is so hawtt.
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