Do you ever wish you had the opportunity to personally inform the Stay-Puft madman Newt Gingrich that he is a “fucking asshole,” to his face? You are not alone! Tom Sorensen of Iowa City shares your dream! So this is exactly what he did, in a grocery store where Newt was stomping around burping his own praises at unsuspecting shoppers. Newt then responded ominously, “luckily, it’s a free country.” FOR NOW, he means. Newt Gingrich’s first act as President will be to open a gulag in the basement of a foreclosed Radio Shack outside Tempe named for its initial occupant, Tom Sorensen.
Ha ha, also “luckily” for Sorensen, this will never happen because Newt Gingrich will never be President. Why? Mostly because Newt is sinking in the polls, which may or may not be tied to the fact that he is going around telling people not to vote for him.
From the Des Moines Register:
Newt Gingrich told a gay man and longtime resident of Oskaloosa here today that he should vote for President Obama.
“I asked him if he’s elected, how does he plan to engage gay Americans. How are we to support him? And he told me to support Obama,” said Scott Arnold, an adjunct professor of writing at William Penn University.”
Arnold, a Democrat, said he came to the event at Smokey Row coffee house with an open mind. But he wanted to ask Gingrich about how he would represent him as president after reading past comments the former U.S. House Speaker has made about gay and lesbians.
“When you ask somebody a question and you expect them to support all Americans and have everyone’s general interest,” Arnold said. “It’s a little bit frustrating and disheartening when you’re told to support the other side. That he doesn’t need your support.”
Yep, “fucking asshole” about says it. [TPM/CNN]
{ 373 comments }
Three cheers for freedom of speech!
Another instance of speaking truth to fuckwads.
Hooray! Moar plz.
Sadly enough, these pieces of shit don't get told often enough that they are, as a matter of fact, pieces of shit.
Somewhere around the Reagan era, the journalists whose job it is to call politicians on their shit got the idea that it was bad form to ask questions and hold people (by which I mean Republicans) accountable for their actions. Since they won't uphold their responsibility, someone's gotta do it.
Please, let's be precise. Speaking truth to "fucking assholes".
I've always wondered what is a "wad" of "fucks"? The group of potential GOP Presidential candidates this year finally answered that question.
I would have gone with 'Fucking rotund cunt" but whatever works.
Oh, they would have bleeped that out for sure!
You have an unerring ear for the poetry in every English word.
"Fucking rotund cunt." I think I'll Tweet that.
and as the kids say: " FRC"
"Rotund fucking cunt" works, too.
I'm partial to "Cunt-Fucking Rotund."
I'm sure Newter's getting so little strange under Callista's watchful eye that using "fucking" in the same sentence as his name probably causes him as much delight as orgasms once used to.
$50 says he's already schtooping a new future Mrs. Gingrich.
I ain't takin' that bet honey. Mama didn't raise her no dumbass kids. Taught me not to take off my hat in front of no woodpeckers, neither.
WIN
Though "Rotund Fucking Dozy Cunt" would definitely classify as an honorable mention.
Loathsome fucking narcissistic demagoguing mountebank.
He's also fat.
Sorenson is no Oscar Wilde or Limeylizzie, but "fucking asshole" does have the virtue of directness.
Newt's new campaign motto: "Gingrich–much like an odoriferous orifice, he's dedicated to the elimination of waste."
too many syllables for the morons, keep it simple…"Gingrich- much like an asshole he's full o' shit"
Shorter slogan still — 'Newt Gingrich: a fucking asshole'
(parsimony is where it's at, ladies and gentlemen)
Unfortunately, this insult is way too highbrow for America.
Rotund cunt libel!
Wolf is such a tool. "I didn't exactly hear what that guy said to Newt…I know he used a bad word." What. A. Fucking. Asshole.
The only bad words Newt can't stand is "till death do us part"…
Leslie is such a dainty flower.
Dullest motherfucker on cable news. I wish Fox News would hire him already.
Faux News reporters are many things, but "dull" is never one of them.
Not blonde or Doocy enough.
Blitz really earned his place on Pareene's annual Hack List with that one.
But he is a fucking asshole. And in Newt's circle, and amongst his peers, that's a compliment.
While I wouldn't go so far as to call the guy a 'babe,' there certainly is truth coming outta his mouth!
The gheys are very sneaky. The guy looked just like a real Iowa-American: well padded, dressed in head to toe camouflage, gray hair and goatee. No wonder poor Newtie was fooled into talking to him.
He could have taken it to extremes and been dressed as a war vet. Ask Mitt how that worked for him.
Just like that old
queenViet Nam Vet in New Hampshire reeled in Romney!Do you really think Newt would have been fooled by a lisping twink? Please, Newt is the "intellectual" of the GOP & would have seen right through that clever disguise.
Sometimes it takes a fucking asshole to be the defender and restorer of civilization. Have any of you ever thought of that, huh, wiseguys?
We tried that for 8 years, no worky to well for the rest of us.
You know who else was a fucking asshole who promised to be the defender and restorer of civilization?
Aw, now, SNACKY!
Ralph Nader?
Upon hearing him described as a fucking asshole, Newt's approval rating with Iowan evangelicals went up eleven points.
I'm you!!
If he had been called a "freakin' you-know-what-hole", his approval ratings would have went up by 30 points among Iowan evangelicals. They don't like all that cussin' so much.
"They don't like all that cussin' so much."
Yeah, but judging by how many evangelicals get caught with rent boys, apparently they *do* like fucking assholes.
So how long until the media start clutching their pearls about the vile nature of discourse these days? Oh my stars and whiskers – naughty words! Tsk, I say – TSK!
Yes, I'm afraid I rather let fly with colourful invective upon hearing that. Geezus Christ, Wolf "because everyone's child should be named after a predator" Blitzer tsk-tsking and tut-tutting over the BAD WORDS used by that filthy, unethical, slimy, wife-dumping, mother-fucking, intern-diddling, money-grubbing WHORE might, I dunno, make the sound waves on the tv thingy stop working.
Fuck all these tardlitards sideways with cheap Chinese quick-rust chainsaws.
It's okay when Dickie Cheney says it, though. "Major league asshole," about a reporter, or "Fuck yourself" to a senator, for example.
This left wing hate rhetoric must stop!
It's only freedom of speech when it's about "lynching", "niggers", or "monkeys".
This gives 'fucking assholes' everywhere a bad name.
At about 0:48 Acosta says, "it is something that he will admit himself." I of course thought he meant Gingrich thinks of himself as a fucking asshole. Which he probably does.
Please respect assholes! And fucking! And the two put together!
What should Newt really be called?
a vulgar pox on America?
Vulgar Pox sounds like a breakfast cereal.
Much like "Colon Blow"?
Herpes on a lightly salted rat dick works for me.
A particularly condecending plastic grocery bag stuffed with mashed potatoes?
I'd say "an also – ran," but I think his presence on the Greedy One Percent ticket will only help Obama…
Fascist taint cheese.
I am always reminded of that word scrofulous when i see a pic of newt.
Tainted Fascist Cheese? The stuff that's right next to the Boar's Head in the cheese case?
Fecal-crusted hemorrhoid?
That's unfair. There are fecal-encrusted hemorrhoids who could offer significantly smarter policy proposals than that shitclown.
Hey now! Some of my best friends are shitclowns
Shitclowns, huh? For some reason, I DON'T want to see that circus act.
These are excellent suggestions, gang. Really top drawer and I admire them all. But so far I haven't seen anything here that is nearly so five-minutes-of-incessant-spasmodic-dry-heaves revolting as simply "Newt Gingrich".
Santorum. Oh, wait…
I've always thought of him as a burning bag of dog shit on America's front door step.
I said, "Fat pasty cancer-wife-divorcing serial adulterer", and I *meant*, "Fat pasty cancer-wife-divorcing serial adulterer".
You know who else was a fucking asshole?
The rest of the GOP lineup running for President?
Dick Cheney for continuing to postpone his ultimate demise.
The question, when referring to the GOP, is "who isn't a fucking asshole?"
i'll take "fucking assholes" for 200, Alex.
That's "Fuck in Gas Sholes," Mr. Connery.
Thats what your mother said to me last night, Trebeck.
Todd Palin?
Marcus when he is with Michele?
Marcus Bachmann's asshole?
(Moved from below, after Lionel H deleted his original, identical comment this was a response to.)
Denis Leary?
Is he ever. Fucking hump.
All of the… *oooof*
This comment has been deleted by User-of-Owls.
Damn! Is user doin' his own enforcin', now? Better watch what *I* say around that motherfucker, I'm tellin' ya.
Try being a freakin' ground squirrel with UofO in enforcement mode.
Ayn Rand?
No, she wasn't a fucking asshole. But she had a talking asshole which was often mistaken for her mouth.
(With apologies to William Burroughs).
"Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth" — someecards
"There was an F word involved." HA HA HA
Fiddlesticks? Fudge? Flying? DON'T KEEP US IN SUSPENSE, WOLFIE.
FABulous.
I dare say it was "Fuddle Duddle", as we say in the north country.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuddle_duddle
Wolf Blitzer is exactly the kind of fuddy-duddy that I would expect to use terms like fuddle-duddle.
Yeah, Blitzer couldn't pull it off. But on Pierre Trudeau's lips…., He typically radiated contempt at stupid questions that he felt were a waste of time, and in this case he was sending out disdain-waves of an intensity thought only possible from Her Majesty the Queen, and then only if a drunken subject tried to cop a feel. I'm still amazed that TV tubes weren't fried across the country when he told the pack of yapping journalists – just a hint of a sneer on his lips – that no, he couldn't remember what he said, or mouthed, or whatever, but it may have been "fuddle duddle", then just walked away. Thing of beauty really.
Fairy? Fairness? Fuddruckers? Freedums?
Just like Herman Cain's 'Run for President Book Tour' Newt will make money even if he ends up dead ass last. And I'd look for a new Mrs. Gingrich if Ellis the Elephant doesn't start moving more copies.
Note to CNN programming staff: If you type the letters F**CKING A$$HOLE on your scrolling graphics, we in America will understand what he said.
This man deserves numerous kudos.
Fracking Armhole?
Correction: "Fucking assholes,"…Newt requires two toilets on his campaign trail.
Today, we are all adjunct professors of writing at William Penn University.
Is that a real place?
"…and that goes for that lizard-ass bitch you're fucking, too!"
"Sorry, meant 'diamond-sucking lizard-ass bitch….' "
Those diamond-sucking lizards are the worst. Just ask Newt.
ROTFLMAO!
I asked him if he’s elected, how does he plan to engage gay Americans.
Am I the only one that would be more interested in Rick Perry's answer?
Or Marcus Bachmann's?
What is Marcus' position on Santorum?
Perverse cowgirl.
We know that Marcus will be at his clinic trying to suck the ghey out of them.
Marcus would be all too willing to "engage gay Americans" as First Lady.
Tiffany's has an excellent meat department.
/DerrickWildcat
What you mean? I'm keeping records of people saying good things about me and people that say bad things about me and I don't know which category to put this in.
It occurred to me after leaving it that my comment inadvertently called to mind your much appreciated Hedbergian sense of humor.
Also, severed feet make great stocking stuffers.
Wow, thank you. This guy is about perfect.
Your new avatar is truly HeadBeargian.
But, srsly, Mitch left us way too soon.
Pedo Claws is always on the lookout for more little helpers.
"Breakfast at Tiffany's" is what Newt calls oral sex.
Is "Tiffany's" Newt's sexy parts or Callista's?
Never mind. Just asking the question has made me ill…
EDIT: Why would I think either of them had "sexy parts"? UGH. I'm off the hang myself now.
Country garland in the wind and the rain
Wherever he goes the people all complain
Is it St. Stephen's Day?
I suspect Newt has been called an asshole to his face all his life. Just not in public.
So yay!
Possibly by a certain ex-wife, when served divorce papers in the hospital.
At least two. He dumped the second ex over the phone. She was over at her Mom's house celebrating Mother's Day, having just found out that she had MS. Newt calls and tells her he wants a divorce to marry Callista. What a winner.
That Newt has a heart of gold. Unfortunately, it's in a safe deposit box in a Swiss bank.
Asspole rhymes.
The video would've been a lot more interesting without Wolf on it. Totally ruined it for me.
You know who else was a fucking asshole?
Reagan.
Way to ruin the game.
Srsly. I blame Reagan as the original architect of the apocalyptic implosion of our economy. Trickle down economics. What a farce.
Oh, its tricklin' alright…
Lex Steele?
Yes, he is.
Better a thousand fucking assholes than a single fucking Newt.
Or, God forbid, fucking a single Newt.
You see, this is why, as annoying as it is for Iowa and New Hampshire to go first, it at least forces everyone to actually go out and talk with people. There is something about having a potential president show that he can handle whatever random ass person comes up to him. Hell, I would think it would be perfect experience for dealing with Iran…., or Congress.
Wait, I though Marcus Bachmann was fucking assholes….
HAHAHA. Like Marcus is, in any universe, a top! HAHAHA
I agree. Definite bottom, that one.
Michele: "You want me to strap this on? But why?"
Marcus: "Just shut up & do it! Remember that you should submit to your husband even before he submits to you!"
The experts who have been polling the electorate say that if you look directly below Bachmann, you'll see Santorum.
Yep, all over the sheets.
And then we have CNN apologizing for the fuckwad by citing his talking point the "he arouses passions" as if somehow Newtie was turning people on to something other than nausea. Fucking CNN.
Well, if you regard ipecac syrup as "arousing passions" CNN may have a point.
Another example of "False Equivalence," the corporate media's presentation of two sides of an issue as having equal merit. Not to be confused with "Objectivity."
Funny you should say that. Just as I turned that clip on, I suffered the most horrific attack of nausea I can remember. (This from someone who eats sea urchin gonads, i.e., not much makes ME puke.)
Oh please, I called bullshit on the whole clip after Acosta claimed that he was anchoring a "family program such as this." You aren't on fucking Sesame Street, you fucking moron.
This is way better than that "Joe the Plumber" stunt last election.
I'm not sure I agree. I mean, "Joe the Plumber" was at least intentionally funny.
He was intentionally funny, right?
Rick "Don't Google Me" Santorum is the original fucking asshole. Sorry.
No, no, no. Ricky Santorum is the original FUCKED asshole. See http://www.spreadingsantorum.com for details.
I bow to your obvious expertise in this area.
You sound so willing to assume position. You, too, can become an expert.
Hitler?
Sexy Smurf beat me to this. Damn great minds, and quicker fingers.
I know, I was going to answer: Wonkateers who don't read the comments before posting?
But Hitler, or Stalin, always works.
I know, I was going to answer: Wonkateers who don't read the comments before posting?
But Hitler,….
This comment has been deleted by the user.
This comment has been deleted by the user.
"Fucking asshole."
Is there any other kind?
Well assholes are more often full of shit.
No one is more full of shit than Newt.
Two toilets worth!
The other kind is the asshole that is being fucked. But that is always a much better kind whether it applies to individuals and/or sexual acts.
There's just something so therapeutic about the word "asshole," the way it rolls off the tongue. AAASSSSS-HOOOOOLE. And adding the modifier "fucking" is just gravy.
It's the santorum on the cake!
Did you know that when crowds around the world chant "asss-hole," they use the same two notes?
“I asked him if he’s elected, how does he plan to engage gay Americans. How are we to support him? And he told me to support Obama,”
Adulterers and Homosexuals are both in the, "Shall be put to death" bible boat. You'd think they'd want to team up and help each other.
I'm just trying to be helpful.
I'm neither of those. But I do like to eat bugs.
So sign me up!
no one is to stone ANYONE until I blow this whistle !
Their name is Legion, and they are many.
As a fucking asshole, I'm offended that this guy called Newt a fucking asshole.
Really. The nerve!
I'm only an asshole to other assholes so it evens out, karma-wise, as far as I'm concerned.
Now is the time to make the word "Newt" synonymous with something as disgusting as "Santorum."
I was thinking "anal fistula," but that's a little obscure.
How about we call it "Newt," that yellow-green pus that oozes from one's genitals from a syphilis or gonorrhea infection? As in "Doctor, it hurts when I take a leak, and I've got all this Newt coming out!" Or "Honey, my Newt's really bad tonight, I don't think we should f*** right now."
Any other Wonketeer suggestions?
Anal polyps?
Maybe "Fucking Asshole Drainage"? Oh wait, that's Santorum.
That crusty stuff that collects in the areas old or obese people can't reach when they bathe.
The mixture of blood and feces resulting from severe hemorrhoids?
"I was thinking 'anal fistula,' but that's a little obscure."
I don't know where you live but here in Arizona …
Since Gingrich is such a fat, bloviating gasbag, it is appropriate for "newt" to mean simply "comically tiny cock," as in: "Callista has to fumble in the dark for his newt."
Prolapsed rectum, maybe?
Rectum? It damn near killed him!
smegma…….smegma junkie?
Seems like only yesterday afternoon that Chet Kinkaid was telling us about some guy calling Newt a f—ing a–hole. You mean it happened a second time?
Now that you mention it, you'd think someone calling a fucking asshole like Newt Gingrich a fucking asshole would be your classic example of a dog bites man story, as cliche as a rainy day in Seattle or a "Family Values" conservative caught diddling rent boys. You almost wonder how it's still news.
I'm guessing that fella will now be known as Tom the Truther, for ever, even if it turns out his name is not Tom but Richard.
If Gingrich were a true statesman, like our form Veep Dick Cheney, he would have told this gentleman to "Go fuck himself." Gingrich is clearly not presidential material.
Goddammit, 2012 is going to suck long and hard.
Both Rick Perry & Marcus Bachmann approve of this assessment.
You know who else sucked long and hard?
That's what she said.
But, seriously, it's going to be so satisfying at the end if this thing keeps on going like it is.
You know who else said to fuck off in a public forum? That's right, Darth Cheney.
That's right, the late Darth Cheney.
fixed
Man, you had me frantically googling, thinking I'd just missed something.
You mustn't tease us like that, dear.
Show me the pulse.
WHERE'S THE CARDIAC STRIP.
LONG-FORM, also too.
You're such a tease weejee!
The late, flesh-eating zombie Darth Cheney.
Someone told him to fuck off one time, right? A survivor of Katrina.
NEVER FORGET.
Yeah right, Dick, you were a "Fuck Off" virgin.
milton friedman?
Today, we are all Tom Sorensen.
I've been Tom Sorenson for years and years.
In *that* case, it would appear we have just been arrested for brutally nutpunching Newt.
If, by "Tom Sorenson", you mean, "think Newt is a fucking asshole", then yes.
Newt is running to be the President of Republican People in the United States. It's not like he would be the president for gay, black, latino, or muslim people, you know.
What an inspiring inaugural speech Newtie would give, as he addressed the segments of Murrica he gives a shit about, while telling the rest of the populace to cover their ears or go have gay sex on a pile of bibles, or whatever it is he thinks we perverted Libruls do.
Pile of Qur'ans, I think?
Newt doesn't want to represent gay Americans – like his own sister. The fucking asshole.
exactly.
I'm pretty sure the President is elected to represent everybody in Real America, i.e., white rural high-school-educated evangelical Christians.
"white rural
highhome -school-educated evangelical Christians."There you go sir/ma'm. Fixed right up as good as new.
"white rural
highhome-schoolededucatedevangelical Christians."Because don't kid yourself: home "schooling" and education are two different things. One of them gives you empathy for others, the ability to function in society, an understanding that everything isn't about you, and a respect for legitimate figures of authority.
The other one can easily make you a narcissistic asshole. Newt wasn't home-schooled, but went to high school in Columbus GA, where every other kid was an Army brat like him, and you can bet he spent several years at DoD schools when his father was stationed overseas. They can be very good schools, but it's a closed environment, even moreso overseas.
Very true. Good eye. And while we're at it:
"white rural
highhome-schoolededucatedevangelicalsChristians."“fucking asshole” about says it
I could also go with "inbred, bloated, lard clown dripping rancid diaper gravy".
Really that is a spectacular piece of work. All future efforts to refer to the thin-skinned toxic salamander should begin with that. Now if only we could find a way to fit the expression "suppurating venereal chancre" in there, it might never be surpassed. But should we change "gravy" to "gravied" and put it at the end, or make "S-V-C" the adjective and put "chanchred" before "diaper".
It's such a tough decision, because posterity is watching.
This is how Emily Dickenson must have felt.
Great. Now I've got Frank singing
'Cause you're an asshole,
You're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
Yes, yes
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
in my head. And it probably won't go away.
BTF, try the Wonkette brain bleach.
Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.
That's because chicks dig Eldorados.
Not in New York.
"I have sniffed the reeking buns of Angel, and acted like it was cocaine." Thats pure poetry there.
I like the way he strung out "co-cay-ee-ay-ee-ay-ee-ayn."
Another great line: "And the plumber he said, never flush a tam-pone."
Shit. You gave ME the earworm, too. Where's my iPod when I need him?
I guess I'm a fucking asshole, now.
I can take about a hour on The Tower Of Power, as long as I gets a little Golden Shower.
God oh God I'm so fantastic, thanks to freddy I'm a sexual spastic, and I'm a miserable son of a bitch, am I a boy or a lady, I don't know which.
Try singing in your mind, to the tune of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch", "your'e an asshole, Newt Gingrich". It rhymes, it scans, and it's Christmas-y.
Some of my best friends became fucking assholes.
September 11 2001 was a defining moment for many fucking assholes.
Some fucking assholes became my worst friends.
“I asked him if he’s elected, how does he plan to engage gay Americans. How are we to support him? And he told me to support Obama.”
Well, Newt has embraced the Catholicism with the righteous fervor of the newly converted. What's next? Will he fondle an altar boy?
"It is a very ugly moment for the former speaker. It is something he will admit himself."
So what you're saying, Jim Acosta, is that Newt will readily admit to the fact that he is indeed a fucking asshole. Good to know. I think we're done here.
Did I mention how full of Win your reference to him a few threads ago as "fetid turdbucket." With that insult I wondered if it was possible to come up w/ another to top it.
*blushes*
Actually, the "fetid turdbucket" was in reference to Allan West. But since Newtie is apparently trying to be Allan West with a severe case of morbid obesity and vitiligo, the insult can still apply.
We could keep things straight by reserving "fetid turdbucket" for AW. It's more appropriate to call the thin-skinned toxic salamander a "fœtid turdbucket", him being a PhD Doctor what knows lotsa fancy talkin'.
I like gravy sucking pig. It doesn't get bleeped.
I hope this starts a new trend, telling Newt to his face what you really think of him.
As the weeks goes by, it seems each republican candidate rises to the occasion and proceeds to through away what little chance they have to become a major world leader.
By the way, you know who else threw away the chance to be … forget it.
Reagan? He forgot a whole lot of stuff.
Al Gore?
Can't believe Newtie didn't engage the guy and lecture him condescendingly: "Frankly, your statement is palpably and factually incorrect. Although I may, in the estimation of you and some other misguided individuals, be an asshole, I prefer to fuck others in their assholes, both actually (in Callista's case) and virtually, through legislation, outrageous assertions and insults, and negative advertising."
"In fact, I'm fucking you in the asshole right this minute. And not in a good way."
"I've been fucking everyone I can since 1995. And not in the way I fuck Callista after I ask her to take off that white helmet of hers."
That's just a little too pitch-perfect.
You're scaring me now.
Frankly, whenever a person begins a statement with “frankly,” you know that everything following it will be bullshit.
And that was today's installment of V572's popular "How to Spot a Fucking Asshole" series.
Tune in tomorrow when the Merciless Mentor presents, "Yes, it is Perfectly Appropriate to Deliver Blunt Force Trauma to a Fucking Asshole Who Begins a Statement with 'Bluntly Speaking.'"
Who is this Frank Lee & why do so many people have his name?
Because they're Chinese?
Condescending assholes always start with "What you don't understand…" or words of similar import.
Note to self: Take statement out of all public speeches and high-handed browbeatings.
I would also add:
"Frankly…"
"Actually…"
"Despite what's being reported…"
and
"He was just trying to show those boys how the shower…"
Wait. IS Newt an actively fucking asshole? Doesn't that make him gay? At least as a catcher? So doesn't that mean that Newt can't even vote for himself?
The catcher is so rye.
Such a bad weej. Come sit by me and tell me *everything.*
"Luckily, it's a free country, because if it were a crime to be a fucking asshole, I'd be on death row."
Winning!
"Support Obama"
Wow, Newt Gingrich and I actually agree on something. Will this be his new campaign slogan?
I'm sure it will be used by his opponents, in carefully and properly edited form.
I could die a happy man if somebody animated a gif of him saying that ala The That's Not Racial Transcendence Kid.
For that idea, I hope you get awarded the first Nobel prize for Super Awesomeness.
Brilliant. Can the gifzette guys do it? I have absolutely no idea how.
Please, like the Democratic Party has ever properly harnessed footage of anything happening, EVER, in order to win an election.
Not true! They had that footage of Dukakis riding in a tank.
Wait, you wrote "win an election"…
There's always a catch!
That is still a disturbing image. * shudder *
I'm just thinking of the primaries, here.
Oh, fair enough. The Republicans will use this in brilliant, evil ways. It'll be fun to see how they twist it to make Newt look like he is bad for being mean to a gay guy, though.
Anyone else notice the resemblance between Mr Sorenson and our own tttommyunger (well, at least his avatar)?
The right has been obsessed with the idea of re-education camps because they were afraid the Dem's were going to steal their plan.
The Met is advertising on Wonkette?
Why isn't THAT guy running for President? He seems to have the pulse of the nation much better than Hopey.
Today, we are all fucking assholes.
“It’s a little bit frustrating and disheartening when you’re told to support the other side…"
Really? You had best get used to this… I am.
"Won't say it," because CNN is now family programming?
And "Won't rhyme it" either? Jesus, why watch CNN at all, if you can't even conjure up a "TRUCKING CRASSMOLE"?
Clucking casserole?
They couldn't even pull a Cee-Lo and change it to "forgetting asshole".
Now we see what happens when Newt finds a stranger in the Alps.
Heh; that reminds me of watching Die Hard on network TV: Yippie kai yay, melon farmer.
I am so sick of these mother-loving snakes on this monday-to-friday plane!
I don't give a hoot about the Newt, I wander about in my birthday suit, it's fun, it's free, it's twiddle de dee, it's not about you, it's always me!
As uh historian, I can tell you that the man said 'fishing a shoal', which is a specific way of guiding the bait around in shallow water, now come into more general use in the South as a term for 'deft maneuvering'.
Thanks! I thought the man said "fracking a shale", so it's good to be set right.
Any number of words are evoked when Gingrich's name comes up.
"Deft" is absolutely not one of these.
Ha ha. Someone got Newted.
Saying Newt "arouses passion" in people makes me feel sick in ways I didn't think were humanly possible. Thanks CNN.
Poor Newt — I'll bet he's thinking that if he knew he was going to be called a fucking asshole this much he should've gotten married more often.
Do you have a very favorable, somewhat favorable, somewhat unfavorable, or very unfavorable opinion?
Yes.
"F***ing @$$hole"? That's what Rick Perry likes most, in private…
Old Newt's having a bad day….read the story starfanglednut posted in the other thread:
After Gingrich finished speaking, the protesters chased him and his wife, Callista, down the stairs of the capitol.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/2011/12/21/pr...
Needz moar inchoate violenz.
Meanwhile, in a cheeky attack on the former House Speaker, the super PAC American Bridge has bought NewtGingrich.com and programmed it to redirect to other websites, including Tiffany's, Craigslist, and Freddie Mac's site.
For the win.
Think how truly wonderful it must be to be an Iowanite.
If he wants to win, Newt better hurry up and turn up the old charm and sex appeal, of which he is famous for.
What goes around comes around. Long ago Newt developed this list of words to call his friends and opponents.
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article4...
These are real Iowans, and they are the reason I love my adopted home state of Iowa to this day. Fuck yeah Iowa!
Fucking asshole is not a bad word. It's a fucking stupendous pair of words.
Hurry up and post another story please. I'm about ready for my beer nap.
I feel badly for all the twitter lemmings who won't see the cliff's edge in time to jump ship into the figment-factory of another candidate's imagination.
"Some Ugly moments"? That's the whole point of the GOP Primary, isn't it? Moment after moment after moment. Ugly, Ugly, Ugly.
So, who are Newt's people? Half senile codgers who only hear every other word spewed on Fox News?
OT, but Biden said the unthinkable: the Taliban are not our enemies.
If that's true (and it is), what the fuck are we doing in A'stan? Because if we're going to go to war against every murderous theocracy in the world, we should've started with Saudi Arabia.
The makeup sex between W and that prince would have been epic – forget holding hands!
"Because if we're going to go to war against every murderous theocracy in the world, we should've started with the confederacy."
Fixed that for– oh, wait.
Ha ha! Good thing the “lost.”
OT but we've got another GOP nomination drop-out: Gary "who?" Johnson, who has switched to running for the Libertarian Party nomination:
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1211/70727.h...
Who?
Heh. "Johnson."
Did he consult Ron Paul about this? I mean, look at well that works out.
This is reason #486 why I won't move to Iowa:
Presidential wannabes trolling around the grocery store when I just want to buy some Salsa Verde Doritos and B&J's Mint Chocolate Cookie in peace. What a fucking asshole.
Newton Leroy Ginrick that's his real name. You can stop running now the House Republicans are handing the Victory to President Obama right now with there shenanigans over the Payroll tax cut! Talk about shooting themselves in the foot!
"the House Republicans are handing the Victory to President Obama right now with there shenanigans over the Payroll tax cut!"
Yeah… you'd *think* so, wouldn't ya?
What I saw in that video was disgusting, offensive, and completely uncalled for. But the guy insulting him was right on.
today we are all ghey longtime residents of Oskaloosa.
What a fucking fuck of an asshole.
Speaking of assholes. Does anyone else put a little stuffing in the asshole of the turkey as well as the inner cavity? Sounds sexual doesn't it? whoops
I believe Marcus Bachmann's clinic can help you. They take medicaid, you know.
Oh look — here's two more people Newt would like to support President Obama. And let me just say how proud they make me — among other things — of our soldiers and sailors.
Thank you for that. I'll be in my bunk.
I'd hit 'em.
For some reason I am reminded of the opening montage of Watchmen…. carry on, sailors!
Personally, I prefer the ghey mens but that is hawt, too.
Maybe he said, "You're ugly and your third wife dresses you funny." That works too.
Mr. Speaker, I want you to know that I do not believe those YouTube pictures of Calista giving Herman Cain a blowjob for Christmas. I do, however, believe you are a fuckin' asshole.
Iowans just went up a notch in my estimation.
As a resident of flyover country I feel I should point out that Newt is not being called a fucking asshole at a grocery store. All Iowa grocery stores have only one level as it makes it easier to clean when the local bumpkins visit trailing pig shit from their filthy, shoeless feet.
If I had to guess, I would guess that he is being called a fucking asshole at the Old Capitol Mall, a dying institution (SYMBOLISM) near the university campus. Don't count on a retraction from Wolf and Co., though, as I am sure they are too busy counting their ill-gotten lucre from Soros for spreading this vile YouTube slander of a great American statesman who also just happens to be a fucking asshole.
What the fuck did camo guy say?
O/T But….. http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/iowa-evangelic...
Is it just me or does this Vander Plaats person seem a bit pathetic?
He's a hateful little shit that ran in the Republiklan primary for Governor on the promise of banning same sex marriage in Iowa by any means necessary. He even talked about abolishing the Supreme Court since they ruled that banning same sex marriage was Unconstitutional.
A case of casting poop before swine?
This primary season is really starting to look like a total cluster. The irony is that the one candidate who would have a real shot at beating Nobama (Huntsman) is being totally ignored.
Seriously, though, what sort of dipshit tells you to vote for the guy you hope to run against?
The kind that believes that white, evangelical, Xtians make up the majority of America.
Who the fuck names his kid Wolf Blitzer. I'd like to tell him you are a fucking asshole.
Blitzer may indeed be a fucking asshole, but his real first name that his parents gave him is Leslie. I'm sure that the nickname Wolf was chosen completely at random and is totally not a desperate attempt to overcompensate for anything whatsoever.
And this third and final post concludes Your Wonkette for 21 December.
Must say it doesn't seem like we're getting our money's worth with only three posts today.
When do they put up the "See You in 2012" banner?
"…money's worth?" You mean, you've actually been paying for this? Seriously, I pay for the pleasure of seeing cute videos/pics of cats & just consider the posts on Wonkette to be freebies.
No no, they pay me. $4/upfist. Thought everyone knew that.
They're out buying us presents!
At Tiffany's!
I am not able to vomit on command, which makes expressing my feelings about Newt directly a bit difficult.
Speaking of fucking assholes Sarah Palin complains about Obama's Christmas Card:
"It's odd," she said, wondering why the president's Christmas card highlights his dog instead of traditions like 'family, faith and freedom.'"
"Even stranger than that was his first year in office when the Christmas ornaments included Chairman Mao," Palin said. "People had to ask that it be removed because it was offensive."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/21/sarah-pa...
(Link includes card which features Bo.)
yeah cause jesus was all up on that freedom stuff dontcha know.
dozy cow.
Why does Sarah Palin hate Normal Rockwell??
http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/saturday-evenin...
I love how she speaks like a coward (i.e. "It's odd" and "Even stranger than that").
Shut the fuck up, you moose-sucking, meth-making, ice-licking, frostback icebilly.
You know who else put dogs on their White House Xmas Cards? That's not a rhetorical question, because actually it was George W. Bush (and note the shocking lack of anything Xmasy) http://static.businessinsider.com/image/4ef22318e...
Obama's Christmas card should say "Thank you GOP for the excellent X-mas present"Noth'in but love yall"..
So what's the deal? Three posts today? I don't mind if these guys take it slow for the holidays, but maybe they could at least let us know what the hell is up. Only Ken ever deigns to chat with us hoi polloi/rabble anymore; hell, even the Rude Pundit lets you know if it's going to be a while before a post; and he's fucking Rude. I feel like a resident of Plato's Cave, or maybe a member of one of those New Guinean cargo cults.
Since when is Whoof Bitchboy a "family program"?? When he gushed over his mom meeting Snowbilly, I stopped thinking he was anything worth listening to.
Before he's done, Newtie will be reduced to flouting "Callista" as something positive for the cuntry: "She can suck and blow better than Nancy Reagan".
So a guy asks his friend to look after his cat while he's gone on vacation. After a few days, he calls the friend to check in and the friend says, "Bad news. Your cat's dead." Mortified, the guy says, "Geez, you don't just blurt something like that out. You need to sort of ease into it, you know, like, 'Your cat is on the roof and she won't come down.' Then, 'Your cat is still on the roof and she's not eating.' That sort of thing, see?" Friend says he understands and won't do something like that ever again.
Week later, guy calls the friend again from his vacation spot and asks how things are going. "Fine," says the friend, "but your mother's on the roof."
Wonket is on the roof.
newt gingrich's campaign, brought to you by lily allen:
Look inside
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
so sick and tired of all the
hatred you harbor
So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who
can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval
Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch
Newt is just hoping the current administration won't tweak NDAA too much. Then, he can just detain people who oppose him in Guantanamo.
The truth hurts right wingers are morons!
Did Wolf really do what I just thought he did? What a fucking asshole.
Fucking CNN wouldn't even say the words. Wolf Blitzer is a fucking pussy
This is what I would say "I refuse- I REFUSE to have a president named Newt Gingrich! Or Senior Iguana! Or Robert Salamander Fitzgerald! At least Obama is man's name god dammit."
In fairness, I do think that Senor Iguana is awfully cute with his tiny poncho and little sombrero. I might not vote for him for President, but I'd gladly put his tank on a sunny windowsill.
“I asked him if he’s elected, how does he plan to engage gay Americans. How are we to support him? And he told me to support Obama,”
You guys, a friend of mine was car shopping, and she saw this car she liked, and she tried to get a better price by telling the salesman (truthfully) that the Toyota dealership in the next town had the same car for $700. less. His response was, "So go buy it from them". I don't work in sales (thank god) or politics (thank god), but I cannot help feeling that this is not a good strategy.
This comment has been delete
T
Y'all are so cynical.
All the world's a circle…..
Didn't LBJ once say to a journalist, "Are you gonna ask the leader of the Free World a chicken-shit question like that?"
ROTFMLAO!
I heard the story of LBJ saying something to the effect of, "I may not know everything, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad", but yours sounds like something LBJ would have said.
Because they left out billionaire CEOs, right?
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