Texas College Republican Would So Get an ‘A’ in Racist Twitter Poetry

  post-racism today

Hooray for the holiday spirit!

Aw, yet another awful tweet about Barack Obama from the second president of the U of Texas College Republicans in as many months. (The first one was from that other popular genre of Republican poetry, “assassination jokes.”) The group’s current president, Cassie Wright, has even twatted out her thoughts in an adorable rhyme format! Maybe if “college education” doesn’t work out so well for Cassie, she can write racist children’s books?

Here is the most important observation anyone could ever make about Cassie Wright, from commenter “Paul” over at the Austin American-Statesman “news story,” about things on Twitter:

Well, as someone who’s done plenty of crack, I can assure you that you do not snort it. So not only is the tweet in poor taste, it is ill-informed.

Texas blog Burnt Orange Report also notes that racism is literally Cassie’s favorite thing on Earth:

 
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On Facebook recently, Wright wrote that it was a “messed up world” because she was studying in the library while “the Asian guy next to me is watching America’s Next Top Model episodes on his laptop”.

When a commenter asked what being Asian had to with it, Wright responded:

“Because Asians study a lot…If you’re offended by my use of a stereotype then gtfo [get the f*** out].”

IN OTHER NEWS, American Jesus continues to ignore our only Xmas request, an IQ requirement for Facebook and Twitter users. [Statesman.com/ Burnt Orange Report]

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341 comments

      1. Chichikovovich

        I have a feeling Cassie comes from crystal meth country. I just hope for her sake that her teeth don't show its ravages as much as her mind does.

    1. Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Would be fun if he was her congressman, or she was one of the 4,000 child he conceived… er, delivered.

      Nah, she would be going to Baylor.

    1. leek801

      Lightweight Ignorant Amateurs. Who hopefully wasted a lot of money trying to snort crack. It burns! It burns! The picture makes me giggle like a little girl. Hee hee.

        1. V572 the Merciless

          GOP limerick:A young man from old Kennebunkport,Swigged booze and never refused snort.Though Daddy denied him,If ever they tried himHe’d surely get death in the World Court.Next:  the GOPer “Divine Comedy.”

  1. memzilla

    They're not racist FB and Twitter posts — they're interview questions for Ron Paul's next staffer position.

  2. freakishlywrong

    Really conservatards. The whole "we're not racists but the President is a nig-BONG!" shit is getting really tired. You're not even trying anymore. At least pretend that the extreme hatred isn't about race. For fuck's sake.

    1. GOPCrusher

      It's not racism. It's having a mature discussion about race relations in America. Damn, liberals. Always trying to keep the darkies on the Democratic Plantation.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Notice the clever way she explains her intelligent use of random letters.

      We see the world as we see ourselves. Knowing she'd need that crib to understand the point, she kindly provided it to her readers in advance.

      Good thing she only has one brain cell. If she had two they might rub together and spark an actual thought.

      1. comrad_darkness

        I see her more as the screw three or more married ones on the sly type. More whore diamonds that way.

    2. KeepFnThatChicken

      Not offended at all. Luckily, there are four more candidates looking for the one job you almost had, Cassandra.

  3. freddymcmurray

    Someone named Cassie ,
    an ass we've never known bigger ,
    thinks she's quite sassy
    when she rhymes words with…

  4. Barb

    Guys, help me work on my Wonkette Christmas story (poetry-lol). Anything you could add would be greatly appreciated.

    T'was the week before Christmas,
    and all through Wonkette
    Half of us were drunk,
    on this I would bet.

    Here we all sit political bloggin'
    about the condoms Rick fills,
    while he's out gay joggin'.

      1. KeepFnThatChicken

        "If I opened my windows," she said with some fear
        "I'll wager my Uggs that a black man is near.
        No person is foolish enough to come 'round
        Unless there's some quality crack to be found."

    1. jus_wonderin

      And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk,
      He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
      Took to laying his "corndog" aside of his nose,
      And giving a headbob, to make sure it grows.

      He sprang to this dong and he gave it a whistle,
      And away fluids flew like the down of a thistle.
      But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he dove down, out of sight,
      "Perry Sucks Cock for all, and for all I do it right!"

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    Maybe she's one of the two overweight republican white chicks from Cali that did the Rick Perry rap video there a while back.

    1. littlebigdaddy

      Wel, she is certainly white and I would say the odds are good she's overweight as well. Does she have the ability to bounce around on camera, though?

      1. SorosBot

        If you click through to her twitter-thingy, it has her picture and she does look good, in a generic Texas-(probably-fake)-blonde-with-big-(probably-fake)-boobs way.

          1. SorosBot

            I definitely prefer dark hair, and find it sad that so many women try to cover nice natural dark hair with blonde dye.

          2. poncho_pilot

            it didn't bother me so much when i lived in SD. maybe the many attractive Hispanic women distracted me.

        1. fuflans

          hey hey hey. some of us are born that way. and it's not exactly a picnic having people assume you're an idiot.

          not to mention the fucking sunburns.

          1. BaldarTFlagass

            "not to mention the fucking sunburns"

            See, that's the problem. If you're gonna be a ginger, go all in, not half-ass.

          2. SorosBot

            Nothing wrong with natural blondes! Just the fake ones. And as a redhead, I know all about the fucking sunburns.

  6. PuckStopsHere

    If she goes on e-harmony I'll bet the first hit she gets will be Jules Manson. Talk about MADE for one another. Yeech…

  7. Callyson

    /snark off
    How many fucking times are we going to have episodes where some GOP lackey slips and lets the racism show, then is denounced by the "official" GOP, only to see another incident the next month?
    Are there any decent conservatives out there–the kind that once existed, who had useful things to say about the limits of government power and the importance of liberty–who will get off their asses and form a respectable counterpart to the Democrats?
    Barring all of that, is there at least a website with the names of all these bigots, so no decent person inadvertently hires one of them?
    Assholes.

    1. Goonemeritus

      "Are there any decent conservatives out there–the kind that once existed, who had useful things to say about the limits of government power and the importance of liberty"

      Vaclav Havel? Oh no wait.

    2. Terry

      "Are there any decent conservatives out there–the kind that once existed, who had useful things to say about the limits of government power and the importance of liberty–who will get off their asses and form a respectable counterpart to the Democrats? "

      "Decent conservatives" are now called "independents".

      1. HedonismBot

        And that's the quickest way to get politicians to care about your opinion: declare yourself an independent voter. In the general election, anyway.

    3. fuflans

      oh man right there with you. we need a real opposition party, not a circus freak show.

      and yet? the democrats? still in danger of losing.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Good eye. Contradicting yourself before you've completed a single sentence is one of the marks of the modern GOP'er. I looked up verse three, and sure enough:

      The usurper is a Kenyan laddie, with Malcolm X as baby's daddy. Wrod. #2012 #obama #hater

      1. poncho_pilot

        Black Wrod.

        right winger white girls now known as Becca Vanilla
        when they make lazy jokes about Mecca-Godzilla.

  8. Indiepalin

    It can only be classified as a racist comment if it makes some sort of sense at all. This one doesn't even come close. Twat of the Year?

  9. SorosBot

    The college republican president is white, she isn't very bright, her name is Cassie White, having a black man for President keeps her up at night.

  10. SheriffRoscoe

    Imma take a wild guess here, Cassandra is one of those "portly" republican collegiates?

    Cassie Wright is white, with width the same as height. Holla. #stepawayfromthebuffet

      1. poncho_pilot

        i'm glad this is more widely noticed phenomenon than i realized. the big teeth thing scares me a little. a lot.

    1. GOPCrusher

      Hate to paraphrase Larry The Cable Guy but "Big girls don't get a belly button ring, they get a trailer hitch to tow them away from the buffet line."

  11. BaldarTFlagass

    “the Asian guy next to me is watching America’s Next Top Model episodes on his laptop”.

    And he still probably got a better grade than her on the statistics midterm.

    1. Buckminster

      Hey, Mama Cass, not my prob. if he's smart and doesn't have to cram for 3 hours to take a psych 101 class.
      (She sounds fat.)

      1. tessiee

        "(She sounds fat.)"

        I'm guessing that my ass is twice the size of hers, but I'd rather have a fat ass than half a brain.

    2. Chichikovovich

      He had time to take a break because he had completed his homework, double-checked all the answers, and emailed the prof about the typos in the problem set handout, half an hour before she had finished her first priority: library-socializing with the other white Republican sorority girls.

      1. Chichikovovich

        Communications, eh? Then perhaps our children is learning. Because she's evidently dumb, racist, and hostile, but as far as conveying with crystal clarity just what she is and how hateful her worldview is, she stands second to none. A++ for unambiguous message.

        1. tessiee

          "as far as conveying with crystal clarity just what she is and how hateful her worldview is, she stands second to none."

          *ahem*
          Except Jules Manson.

          1. Chichikovovich

            Ah, yes. Careless oversight on my part. And I should know better, since I've discovered that wingnuttopia is a mathematical anomaly: A finite set, but with the property that given any hateful element in the set, there is another element of the set even more hateful.

          2. ShaveTheWhales

            But that would imply a cycle and a violation of the transitivity of hatefulness which means your assumption of finiteness must be wrong.

            There are an unlimited number of the motherfuckers.

  12. HedonismBot

    Could someone please explain to me what "holla" means, and why the youngs feel compelled to use that silly word all the time?

        1. GOPCrusher

          Thank you. But it seems kind of lazy to shorten it down to one syllable. Ah, you kids these days and your reefer sticks.

  13. KeepFnThatChicken

    OH SWEET GOD, THANK YOU TEXAS.

    Keeping a low redneck profile in Tennessee (where we have our own famed "UT" system) has been pretty hard for us lately, but Allah be praised that the black hole of stupid is still weightier to our west.

    1. rickmaci

      "the black hole of stupid…" Pretty much the best description of Texas I have ever seen written anywhere. Kudos.

      1. KeepFnThatChicken

        I want to say, for the record, that I have never been to Texas. I have heard of Texas Instruments, and I know that Houston is Mission Control for NASA. Our failed attempt at a superconducting supercollider was being built in Texas — before the government voted Jesus back in. Also, Texas did agree to leave evolution in its schoolbooks, so that's a big-ass win.

        Texas may be worthy of some really awesome accolades. But:

        This bitch
        The Cowboys
        their attention-whore cheerleaders
        Baptists
        Dubya

        I will be kind and say "the jury's still out."

  14. ChernobylSoup

    Okay, who extinguished all those Texas wildfires before they reached her sorority house? God had a plan, I'm telling you, and some do-gooder firefighter ruined it.

    1. freakishlywrong

      The Federal Gubbmint'. After Fed Up Gov. Ricky threw a tantrum to get federal money because he cut forest fire fighting out of the budget. You can't make this shit up.

    2. GOPCrusher

      Seriously, I have a friend that lives in Texas that e-mailed me this morning complaining about the fact that it's been raining for three days straight.

  15. littlebigdaddy

    I like how she has to explain GTFO. I guess her twat followers are even stupider than she is. BTW is this Bristol's new BFF?

  16. SayItWithWookies

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue —
    Cassie Wright's ignorant racist fuckheadedness
    Isn't made funny by rhyming.

      1. tessiee

        "I don't understand why she's not barefoot and pregnant."

        Because she cut class on the day that Brisdull gave the lecture on abstinence.

    1. Rotundo_

      She may be at UT, but her soul is aggie. She'd probably flunk animal breeding just like Goodhair did cause she never quite "got" the concept of what an asshole is for, except as a political candidate, that is.

    2. mayor_quimby

      She couldn't complete the Horse Cock A&M pre-reqs, so she had to major in Disinterested Blowjobs at UT

  17. BaldarTFlagass

    IN OTHER NEWS, American Jesus continues to ignore our only Xmas request, an IQ requirement for Facebook and Twitter users.

    "Can't be more than 2 digits."

  18. smoothmineral

    Dammit, I keep losing seconds of my life reading about this moronic cunt.
    Can she just be banned from the Internet?

  19. Tundra Grifter

    There was a young Texan named Cassie
    Who was everything save very classy.
    Her racism arises
    For the President she despises.
    Her conduct is really quite assy.

    1. poncho_pilot

      oh! at first i thought you meant she was a big Doctor Who fan…

      so this is more like Lost In Austin: Cassie Tries Out For The Team?

  20. BaldarTFlagass

    Well, I once Tweeted, back in 08:

    My president's a joke, he does a lot of coke.
    #rolled_up_benjamin

    and got a lot of shit for that.

      1. MrsBiggTime

        You know what would be sweeter than a Texas creampie? Cassie goes backdoor and oozes forth Santorum.

  21. spends2much

    Hi Cassie! Not sure you're aware of this, but when you type things on to the Interwebs, all sorts of people can read them! Even black people and Asians!

    Just wanted to clarify that for you. Apparently you can get pretty far in your education in Texas without picking up on this fact.

    And do me a favour? STFU!

    1. OneDollarJuana

      I think Cassie is probably not too technologically savvy. Doesn't realize that tweets are forever, and future employers often know how to get them.

    2. imissopus

      Well, you can understand her confusion. She probably wasn't aware that blacks are now allowed the book-larnin'. It's been a whiplash-inducing 150 years in the South.

  22. paris biltong

    Also, what's this "holla" shit? Does she mean "hola"? "Holler"?
    And speaking of crack, she's a cracker.

    1. mayor_quimby

      It is derived from an 'urban' farewell shortened from 'holler at me later' as in 'I'll talk to you later'

  23. freakishlywrong

    Comment from "Tea Party Tina"

    There’s nothing wrong with either comment, if you ask me!!! Last time I checked this was America and we have the right to say what we like, unless Ayatollah Obama’s taken away that freedom too!!! And just like Ayatollah Obama’s birth certificate, I haven’t seen ANY evidence that he doesn’t snort a lot of crack!!! Sounds like a bunch of sensitive lib nonsense to me!!!

    I shit you not.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      We oughta pass a law that makes all ignorant racist teabaggers related to each other — that way they can all go to one Christmas/holiday/whatever party instead of ruining all the other ones for everyone else.

      1. tessiee

        An excellent start, although I feel that I must point out that this will not prevent certain family members from ruining Christmas for everyone else, just not for racist reasons.

        "My Momma always used to say, 'It ain't Christmas until somebody cries'." — Donkey, "Shrek the Halls"

      2. Biel_ze_Bubba

        A bunch of related rednecks at a big party? That's only gonna get you another generation of even dumber rednecks.

    2. LettucePrey

      And just like Tea Party Tina's excessive use of exclamation marks, I haven’t seen ANY evidence that she didn’t fuck a motel room full of black guys next to the Jacksonville IHoP last weekend!!!

      I mean, PROVE to me that she DIDN'T!!!

      1. HempDogbane

        What do you mean, "excessive"? She only used 3 each time, and kept the downpressure on the shift key. What you call excessive I call moderate and consistent !

    3. Tundra Grifter

      FW:

      That comment reads a lot like the Southern beauty queen's answer to a question about world geography.

      1. tessiee

        It's entirely possible that both Cassie and Tina suck at geography and/or expressing themselves coherently; however, my guess is that neither young lady will be winning any beauty contests in the foreseeable future.

    4. HedonismBot

      Can't argue with all those exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      (Edit: Ah damn, LettucePray beat me to the exclamation point joke. Oh well. People who use too many exclamation points are still the pettest of my pet peeves.)

    5. tessiee

      "I haven’t seen ANY evidence that he doesn’t snort a lot of crack!!! "

      Oh. Alrighty then.
      At this very moment, I have in my pocket an IOU for one million dollars signed by Cassie and *another* IOU for one million dollars signed by Tina.
      Prove that I don't.

    6. Biel_ze_Bubba

      "I haven’t seen ANY evidence that he doesn’t snort a lot of crack!!"

      Teabagging Tina needs to tell the world what sort of evidence might "prove" that Obama — or Ron Paul, or the Pope — doesn't snort crack. (Other than that famously liberal-biased thing called "reality", which is that nobody "snorts" crack.) Until then, she really does need to conceal her sub-80 IQ, and shut the fuck up.

    7. Negropolis

      I'm so damned tired of them with the "Freedom of Speech" bullshit, as if that's the issue. talk about a strawman.

  24. fartknocker

    She apparently isn't learning anything at U.T. I'm sure she's shooting for a 2.01 GPA that her our current Texas Governor and potential Presidential washout earned while at TAMU.

  25. SorosBot

    And of course, the comments on the Statesman site are filled with people defending her and actually claiming this wasn't racist and the paper is silly to claim it is.

  26. Blue Street Heathen

    Now THAT'S progress. She's willing to acknowledge that her President is the black guy near the coloreds water fountain….

  27. SoBeach

    At least she refers to him as "my president".

    Most right wing loons insist he's NOT their president. They pretend they're living in an occupied country and they're part of the underground resistance or something.

    Keeps 'em busy I guess.

    1. Chichikovovich

      Perhaps that manner of referring to African Americans has been common in those parts since the time of slavery.

    2. ShaveTheWhales

      Actually, they did the same shit about Clinton. "Your" president. That's not even (entirely) racist, it's just dumbfuck Republican.

  28. Mahousu

    I don't believe this part of the story for a second: Wright … was studying in the library … Unless by "studying" she meant "sleeping it off" or "doing her nails" or something.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      "Studying in the library"=uploading pics of the last weekend's keg party she attended where someone tried to tempt her into snorting some crack.

    1. SorosBot

      Well John Mayer has a racist penis, so I suppose she could have a racist cunt; I do wonder what that would be like though.

      1. tessiee

        "John Mayer has a racist penis"

        What th–???
        John Mayer has a racist penis???
        How does that even work?
        What does it do? Put on a teensy-weensy little KKK robe made out of a handkerchief and write sappy songs?

        1. SorosBot

          It's from something he said in an interview with Playboy – his exact words were "My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock," but the zeitgeist has shortened it to "racist penis". And yeah, it's insane.
          http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2010/02/wher

          And he hasn't done much since then, so that interview may have helped kill his career and spare us his pablum; hopefully anyway. But, sadly, the likes of Maroon 5 and Dave Mathews are still around, so the world is still not safe from fake-profound white-dude-with-an-acoustic-guitar fratboy "rock".

    2. Chichikovovich

      I am pretty sure she's even a fucking racist fucking c-nt who is fucking a fucking racist fucking dick.

    1. Loaded_Pants

      She misspelled "holler" which is where her cousin/uncle/daddy met her sister/aunt/mommy.

      Incest jokes, they never get old!

  29. prommie

    I am neither outraged nor surprised. Look at the headline: "Texas College Republican." When you are dealing with people who can be described with those three words, "Texas College Republican," the surprise would be if they said something that was NOT stupid and racist.

    1. tessiee

      "When you are dealing with people who can be described with those three words, "Texas College Republican," the surprise would be if they said something that was NOT stupid and racist."

      One of the many reasons I love you guys is that you always provide stuff for me to think about.

      I pondered on Prommie's comment for awhile — I mean, wouldn't "Texas Republican" be even stupider than "Texas College Republican"?

      Then I pondered some more. Then I decided that, no, "Texas College Republican" is stupider than "Texas Republican", because "Texas College Republican" is someone who a) is college age and b) has access to higher learning, or at least a book that is not the Bible — and is *still* a Republican. That takes an *aggressive pursuit* of ignorance.

  30. Generation[redacted]

    When she says "my use of a stereotype" she is referring to the ignorant racist white trash from Texas, which she portrays so well. I for one am impressed by the quality of performance art we get to enjoy. Today's Young Republicans are like "The Boys from Brazil" but with Andy Kaufman instead of Hitler.

  31. Guppy

    "an IQ requirement for Facebook and Twitter users"

    Now there's a Catch-22 if I ever saw one: a desire to use Facebook or Twitter would be an automatic failure.

  32. Chichikovovich

    Oh, to be in the world of classical drama, where people named Cassandra use beautiful language to say vitally important things that are ignored, rather than today, where Cassandras spew semi-illiterate, worthless offal that flashes around the globe in a millisecond.

    1. poncho_pilot

      i am surprised her name isn't spelled in a white trash way because i'm sure she has clever parents.

  33. Negligently_Joe

    On Facebook recently, Wright wrote that it was a “messed up world” because she was studying in the library while “the Asian guy next to me is watching America’s Next Top Model episodes on his laptop”.

    When a commenter asked what being Asian had to with it, Wright responded:

    “Because Asians study a lot…If you’re offended by my use of a stereotype then gtfo [get the f*** out].”

    That's not really possible. I have on good information that that girl went to UCLA.

    Incidentally, she's at least half-right, about it being a sad world. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      I'm sorry, but I couldn't hear UCLA chick's rank racism over the sound of her enormously fake titties.

  34. boobookitteh

    People who don't understand that what they write on the internet is public (regardless of "security" settings) are just too stupid to live.

  35. GregComlish

    Oh you stupid bitch.

    Look, if the guy is watching "America's Next Top Model" then he isn't studying in the library. Ergo he is not conforming to the Asian stereotype. See, Asians are broadly believed to study in the library while white people tend to conform to the stereotype of watching shitty videos on the internet instead of studying.

    Now if he was Asian, waifish, wearing a thin scarf and/or designer classes, and watching America's Next Top Model in the library then you could have stereotyped him as "Gaysian". You would still be a dumb bitch but that would have at least conformed to a consist model of bigotry.

    1. poncho_pilot

      is it ironic that to truly understand the diversity of stereotypes a bigot can employ you have to be somewhat worldly but the more worldly one is, the less likely they are to be a bigot?

    2. tessiee

      WTFF?
      So what it the Asian guy is studying (or for that matter watching "America's Top Model") in the library?
      Why would she care?
      What is her damn problem, anyway?

  36. orygoon

    You can see a bunch-o-photos of Cassie from her FB page–posting with Karl Rove, posing with Michelle Malkin, posing with other blond-sorority-type females. I think what pissed her off about the Asian guy was that he was looking at girls on teh interwebs, and not her. Daddy's girl expects to turn every head. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=772970292

  37. GregComlish

    Hey, what ever happened to that real live version of "Carlton Banks" that gave that speech at CPAC? I wonder what he would have to say about this episode.

  38. Antispandex

    In Texas she is considered to be the modern day Will Shakespeare….which she could turn into a spear chucker joke in two seconds! Ah, Texas, the place we most want to give back to Mexico.

  39. HarryButtle

    You kids are lucky…in the old days, we didn't have classes like Racist Twitter Poetry. It was called graffiti and it used to be written in Sharpie marker inside a restroom stall.

  40. sbj1964

    Texicans,have been Bringing down the national SAT scores for years.When you graduate from a Texas university you are guarantied to qualify for any job in the Fast Food,or Hotel industries.

  41. fuflans

    huh. here i thought cassandra was supposed to be prophetess.

    course, no one believed her and in some versions she was batshit insane.

  42. El Pinche

    It sucks being a "reader" (masters not from UT) in Texas. I'm constantly being asked to fix their 'puters' and translate the teevee guide for these poor stupid Texas racists.

  43. DaRooster

    Get real… here's a poem for ya-

    My Senate Leader is orange,
    And he smokes a lot of… uh… damn it!!

    (I knew shouldn't have snorted all that crack…)

    1. tessiee

      Oompa Loompa loompity lybaby
      My Senate leader is a big orange crybaby
      Oompa Loompa loompity lunk
      Boner's also a crybaby drunk
      What should we do with this big ugly slob
      Who thinks obstruction is doing his job?
      I wouldn't put him in charge of toy trains
      The tanning bed cooked his brains…

  44. Chichikovovich

    If you check the news stories about the last UT-Austin College Republican who got sacked (for "assassinate Obama" jokes, in that case, with a walkback of (giggling) "no, don't do that, it would only make things worse"), you'll find Cassie, VP at that time, putting her Communications major to work:

    "Insofar as she's a representative [of the College Republicans], maybe it shouldn't be said, but she's made a positive statement in a way," said Cassie Wright, the group's vice president.
    "I don't really see anything wrong with it," Wright added. "It's just a personal comment, not representative of any group. Just freedom of speech, you know?"

    The girl has a bright future in Republican politics.

    1. tessiee

      "The girl has a bright future in Republican politics."

      Yeah — racist, vicious, dumb as a door, and absolutely unwilling to be accountable for her actions.

  45. JustPixelz

    Hey this is a fun game!

    Newt is fat and white.
    Out to help billionaire's plight.

    Sarah Palin likes to hunt.
    Her "campaign" is just a stunt.

    The Speaker of the House is orange
    um … um … OK it's not fun anymore.

    1. tessiee

      Although I do have to give you mega points for restraint, considering what you could have rhymed with "hunt" in your Palin couplet.

  46. randcoolcatdaddy

    "So, young lady, I understand you just graduated and you're interested in a job here. I see, after seeing your Facebook posts, that your momma also raised in a barn … "

    1. tessiee

      Oh, great.
      Now I'm picturing Obama hitting Assy over the head with a bag of quarters and saying, "Bammy don't play that!".

  47. x111e7thst

    Kristen – you sound much to upper middle to have been smoking crack. Are you sure you were not freebasing instead?

      1. x111e7thst

        From some wiki or other since they say it better:Crack cocaine is a cheap yet inefficient method of freeing the base cocaine molecule from the salt. It uses baking soda to remove the proton from the base. However, this safe, cheap method does not involve any purification steps, leaving some water and baking soda (impurity) along with the newly formed “crack” which forms crystals and floats to the top. So freebase cocaine along with other impurities are what make up crack cocaine. Freebase cocaine is formed by a similar process. However, ammonia is used to remove the proton and free the cocaine base. Di-ethyl ether (extremely flammable and volatile) is used to dissolve and remove the freebase cocaine. This can simply be siphoned off the top since ethyl ether does not mix with the water/ammonia solution. The Di-ethyl Ether evaporates and pure freebase cocaine is left behind.Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_difference_

  48. Eve8Apples

    "Maybe if “college education” doesn’t work out so well for Cassie, she can write racist children’s books?"

    Cassie's not much for writin' or readin' books, but I believe she is destined to occupy the Texas Governor's Mansion one day.

  49. Loaded_Pants

    She was just blowing off steam because she's not been doing so well in her African-American Studies class.

  50. Eve8Apples

    The President was a Texas Honky.

    He loved to fuck a drunken donkey.

    HELLLLLL YEEAAAHHH BABY!

    You can send my Pulitzer to Eve c/o Wonkette.

  51. Loaded_Pants

    The Asian student probably gets more education from watching ANTM episodes than he would setting in a class at the average TX college.

  52. rickmaci

    I'm sure she's sitting around in Austin saying to herself: "WTF? We talk like that at home all the time. Everyone at the last state Republican convention was telling that joke. Why are they picking on me?"

    1. user-of-owls

      Her twitter feed is now 'protected'

      The FB photos though? Not yet!

      [Miserable twat went to fucking China. Obviously the whole, "travel broadens ones horizons" is a bald-faced lie.]

  53. __kth__

    She's probably auditioning to be the Ann Coulter/Monica Crowley of the 2020s. Flashing her beaver at Bill Maher would fairly well guarantee her the inside track (if she's asking me for career advice).

  54. soojank

    ugh, I just went to this bitch's twitter page and i literally couldn't look at for more than ten seconds.

    and then i thought, well, at least now that everyone knows she's inconsiderate, racist, dumb and close minded no one will want to hire her… wait never mind, people are hired to be all the above. i'm done with this planet.

  55. tessiee

    There once was a racist young lassie
    Who went by the name of Cassie
    In Texas she's bright
    Anywhere else, she's a blight
    And all of her twitters are assy.

  56. tessiee

    "she was studying in the library while “the Asian guy next to me is watching America’s Next Top Model episodes on his laptop”.

    When a commenter asked what being Asian had to with it, Wright responded:

    “Because Asians study a lot…"

    OK, this doesn't even make sense within the context of racism.
    Little Miss Snot is annoyed because a member of a racial minority is NOT acting in accordance with her stereotype of them?
    Are we supposed to believe that if the Asian guy had been studying and/or doing laundry and/or practicing martial arts, she would have been OK with that?

  57. Negropolis

    College Texas Republican

    Honestly, nothing else needs to follow that. That's like the entire thread, right there.

    Oh, and as a college Republican, she must know, intimately, that crack is smoked, not snorted.

  58. Negropolis

    So, how many black dudes has she let run through her?

    There once was a girl from UT,
    And it burned whenever she peed…

  59. ttommyunger

    I know you're frustrated, Cassie, but you'll never get your bell rung right fucking Conservatives and ignorance is a total cock-block for Liberals soooooo, I guess you're out of luck. Good luck with that job application to Fox.

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