Famous Texas rodeo queen Rick Perry can’t seem to get away from the “Rick Perry is a homosexual” rumors, maybe because of how he acts. Here’s a report of a fun (?) encounter between Perry and some kind of “bisexual activist,” which prompted Perry to talk about his warm feelings:
“Here’s my issue. This is about my faith, and I happen to think, you know, there are a whole hosts of sins. Homosexuality being one of them, and I’m a sinner and so I’m not going to be the first one to throw a stone.”
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But what kind of sinner are you Ricky? The brokeback mountain coat makes us all curious.
(If the coat was a sly joke by some stylist, then that might be the best trolling ever, bravo!)
He is not clever enough for that joke.
Everything is bigger in Tejas, even the closets.
I’m not going to be the first one to throw a stone.
So Rick is catching rather than pitching?
No, he just prefers inserting the IV to throwing a stone.
"I'm not going to be the first one to throw a stone. You throw it first. Go on. Throw it hard, because I've been soooo sinful. Or if you're more comfortable spanking my sinful ass…"
"It's such a sinful body part really. It so deserves to be punished."
Rick Perry,is a big ole Texas Queen!
But I will throw a huge fucking boulder of bigotry and tell you it's because of my "faith".
And I thought it was the love of the gay sex that he is busy trying to hide.
It's all right because that's the way he was raised.
Hey, why is the commenting disabled on the prev. racist teabagger post?
If I had to take a flying guess, it's probably because the reactionary hate speech we'd have generated to counter his hate speech would be hypocritical and morally reprehensible.
We're assholes, but we're not *assholes*.
I blame Andrew Breitbart. And his monkey children.
The BartBots,are nothing more than Butt Monkeys! vile,evil,whiny,little racist shitheads!
Ha ha, silly rasta. Everyone knows that the, "Thou Shalt Not Have Sexual Congress With That Man" commandment is observed by all simians, not just the gay sapiens variety.
Also observant of this rule: all other mammals and avians, the vast majority of reptiles, a healthy chunk of the amphibian genus and certain types of igneous rock.
I used the first five letters of the r-word, in sequence. That might have brought out a lockdown and hazmat suits.
"I’m a sinner and so I’m not going to be the first one to throw a stone." Gov. Perry then went on to say, "Someone, however, should assassinate fucken queers and their children."
"One of my other favorite sins is appointin' people in return for certain, let's say, rewards. Another great one is where you say shit that isn't true. y'know. lie! And the third one is, uh, let me think, uh, nope. Can't. Oops."
Ron Paul: "Heifer fuckin?"
Yeah, that's the one.
The sin against the Holy Spirit?*
*Whatever the fuck that is.
"I'm not going to be the first one to throw a stone"
But I'll happily watch while someone else is and maybe join in later.
So Rickie's a member of Voyeur's Anonymous?
Why aren't women allowed to go to stonings, mum?
You've got to haggle.
All I did was say to my wife, "That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!"
He won't throw stones, but he'll pitch a tent.
He won't throw the first stone. After that…
Everybody must throw stones.
Between his rambling possibly medicinally induced speeches, his homophobic commercials, and this non-answer, the boy is definitely asking for help. And by 'help', I mean 'a reach-around'.
This is what's known as a Kinsey gaffe, if I'm not mistaken.
Or a Kinsey Kinsey gaffe, in this case.
Fruedian slip much?
On Rick Perry's part? Totally.
I on the other hand, know exactly what I wrote, and meant it.
As we speak, some enterprising grad student is submitting a dissertation proposal titled, Rick Perry: A Case Study in Gratuitous Stupidity.
I'll suggest that to my friends in the Mineralogy department.
Don't forget to bring a bag!
I thought Rick Perry had executed all the homosexuals in Texas already.
Not to needle a sinner, but isn't thou shall not kill on the list?
Hate the sin, love the sinner.
So sending someone to the great beyond is just tough love?
If you love someone, set them free. But Rick got confused on the meaning of "releasing" prisoners. He wants them to be with Jesus.
Besides, sin is something that other people do.
If you just snip the very last word in that sentence, I think you have a pretty good idea of just how remorseful that bastard is when it comes to murdering American citizens.
You're innocent? Tough.
That there's a pre-Muscular Jesus mindset.
They gloss over that one because it's an obvious assault on their second amendment freedumbs.
"But I will be the first to put a couple 'stones' in my mouth and swish them around like Baoding balls."
"I won't throw the first stone … but strap that guy to a table and put a needle in his arm, and it's a whole different thing."
UUUUGH. Finish that sentence dude. I just believe it is a sin "…that will cast people into a hell fire of doom for all eternity – but I am also told not to judge, lest I join them there, so basically this is just another one of those circular, bullshit, fucktard statements that doesn't have a logical conclusion, it's just a way to get votes, by making people feel superior. IT IS OUR WHOLE GAME GUYS. Stop looking for methods behind madness."
Here's my issue: this is about your faith, which has absolutely no fucking place in determining actual public policy. Laws should be based on actual, real morality and reason, not faith and what some stupid old book says. If your faith says homosexuality is a sin, then don't fuck members of your own sex, even if you want to; but don't use it to tell other people who don't share your stupid faith what to do.
Your P-ness is HUGE. I bow down before you.
That's your Christmas gift, don't ask for anything else.
Oh, that's rich. The 1% complimenting the other 1% on how big their p-junk is. Unseemly is what that is. Utterly lacking in seem altogether.
Plus, you know it's all zero-sum, right? For everyone one of you pee-tite bourgeoisie, there must be a corresponding p-roletariat. How else do you explain metamarcisf?
I didn't even know that his P-ness was HUGE until his butler told my butler. We fired them both after forcing them to lick our Jaguar's clean.
But your p-ness is rather large as well, owls, so congratulations!
I'm hooking my P-ness up to the PosTvac. It needs to be bigger.
Aw but I wanted Skyward Sword!
You'll get nothing and like it!
HEMINGWAY: I am getting to know the p-rich.
OWLS: I think you’ll find the only difference between the p-rich and other people is that they have more pee.
This, so much. This actually touches on the thing about the same-sex marriage issue that really irks me to the core. Namely, that the last time I checked, there were a number of religious denominations that do affirm and celebrate same-sex relationships and marriage (Universalists, most American Quakers, Reform and Reconstructionist Jews, many Buddhists, and of course Wicca and Neopaganism) , and by consequentially, prohibiting and refusing to recognize same-sex marriage is effectively an endorsement of one set of denominations of Christianity over many other faiths.
But hey, these dicks really do think the First Amendment is only there to protect (the Southern Baptist denomination of) Christianity, so no surprise there, really.
"Throwing a stone"? Is that what they call it these days?
Also, I would tell Rick Perry to take his "faith" and shove it up his ass, but he would probably like that.
I bet his wife has laundered more than one outfit that had a used condom in the pocket.
Pocketing the evidence. Might ruin the suit, because you have to dry clean those.
Also from the linked article:
20,000? Wow, those automatic cuts to defense spending sure kicked in…
"his base" = Congress?
Except for the joint chiefs of staff, of course.
Perry's ratio of gaffes-to-words is approaching critical mass.
I happen to think as a commander in chief of some 20,000 plus people in the military
20,000? Wow, those automatic cuts to defense spending sure kicked in…
Perhaps he has let slip the secret that the Republicans are already counting the rest of the million or so as their own private army.
Governors love to tout their role as commander of their State national guard units, to show that they have experience with matters military and are thus ready to be Preznit.
Ah, now I parse it. Perry was saying that he is commander-in-chief of his own private army. Thanks.
Yes, he's the commander-in-chief until the ACTUAL Commander-in-Chief says "Yer nationalized".
Gah, Perry doesn't even have enough wits to qualify as a half-wit.
I'm sure Rick has a simple explanation for his whole gay/not-gay fandango. Something along the lines of, say, "Now to someone who doesn't understand this, homosexual is what I am because I have sex with men. But really, this is wrong."
No snark. That "whoever is without sin, cast the first stone" remark, from the "Woman taken in adultery" story, is, I am given to understand, one of the few passages in the Bible that virtually every scholar agrees is a late addition to the original. (Only appears in later manuscripts, not in the best early ones, etc.) Which is too bad, since it's a great bit of the New Testament, but them's the facts.
In other words, Perry can't even do mindless rote fundamentalist Christianity right.
Well, the entire New Testament is a belated addition in absolute terms, so let us appreciate the bits that actually make sense.
Rick needs Dick
Does Rick Salsa dance?
He won't throw the first stone…but he'd be more than happy to catch one.
Snark aside, the "bisexual activist" was a 14-year-old. That warms my heart during this miserable holiday season.
Sounds like Ricky just admitted to liking a little tube steak in the butt.
The only sin Rick Perry commits is breathing.
I will, however, be the first one to bust a nut once I'm up in the sling.
God told me to have sausage for breakfast this morning. The salsa was my own idea. But anyway, my point is, God often puts temptation in our way to test us.
This, my son, is why it is not enough to simply avoid sin, you must avoid "the near occasion of sin," you must avoid situations in which you might be tempted. Ol Ricky here, he probably should avoid highway rest-stops and airport bathroom stalls, for example.
Or, you could embrace sin, to have a more impressive forgiveness.
He doesn't want to throw the first stone because he probably throws like a girl.
Ah, now there's a win.
Hey, its easy to understand his conflict, the old "how can something that feels so good be wrong" thing, we have all been there, amiright?
I love when human rights are trodden upon by a shallow dimwit's interpretation of metaphysics. At least he doesn't have a prayer.
"… I'm not going to be the first to throw a stone…"
"… but if you are a cute guy between 18-25, I will be the first to get my rocks off… if you catch my drift."
Perry also wears a toupee so he's used to hiding things.
"You're only gay if you don't feel dirty and guilty afterward." Republican Jesus
"there are a whole hosts of sins. Homosexuality being one of them, and I’m a sinner"
This is the closest we're going to get to Rick Perry coming out….
Also–I love how the side ad is for the Dalai Lama's "Beyond Religion" audiobook. Someone should slip that into Perry's MP3…
I can tell he's just jonesin for some niggerhead.
C'mon, Rick, isn't it time you came on homo?
Oh, I'm sure Rick's been coming on homos for a while; he just doesn't publicly admit it.
For haters I've been using Dan Savage's logic, "Do you remember when it was exactly that you decided to be either heterosexual or gay?" For some reason I get the feeling that Rick hasn't quite figured that out yet.
Sure, Rick Perry is a "sinner." I bet he "sins" a LOT. And usually with a meth-addicted transvestite hooker, like the rest of the high and mighty bible thumpers.
Will somebody PLEASE give this closet queen a reach-around?
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