Just as millions of decent people around the world were marking the death of revolutionary Czech philosopher/playwright (and former president) Vaclav Havel with the realization that it is very rare to actually mourn a public figure’s death, North Korean clown-monster Kim Jong Il kicked the bucket, and the world found it could laugh again. What next, Jane Goodall followed by Michael Vick? The Dalai Lama followed by Dick Cheney? Will this ceaseless parade of political-celebrity deaths end with Santa Claus himself … followed immediately by the double-penetration suicide of the Koch Brothers?
The Guardian reports:
Kim Jong-il, the “dear leader” still venerated by many in North Korea but reviled abroad, has died aged 69, state media announced on Monday morning.
The North Korean leader suffered a heart attack on Saturday due to physical and mental over-work, the official KCNA news agency reported. He was on his train, travelling to offer “field guidance” to workers, when he died.
In other words, pictures like this have suddenly become collectors items:
But we are still saddened by the death of Havel. So sad, in fact, that we don’t have any jokes to make about it! So thanks, Kim Jong Il, for at least providing a little cover here in a Wonkette post — it was probably totally worth it, all the evil you did to your people! [Guardian]
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Santa Klaus is believed deceased after his sleigh went down over the Pacific en route to North Korea. It is believed that foul play was involved, with Jesus and his angel army suspected of shooting him down to regain his stranglehold on Christmas. The North Polian government has passed a resolution authorizing force against Heaven for the suspected assasination of President Saint Nicholas.
Eat death, bloated lackey of the capitalist toy mongers!
Nice find!
Ah, the good old days … before China became the world's toy monger.
A spokesangel for Jesus replied that President Klaus was in possession of weapons of mass distraction and had it coming.
I didn't even know Kim Jong was Il…
Plagiarism fail!
http://wonkette.com/458461/70-of-america-dreading...
apologies – I didn't steal it from you, it was another site…
here, let me give you a fist -
Not me, Chernobyl Soup.
Neither did Rick Perry.
Rick's role model George once referred to the late despot as, "Kim Jong Two,"
This stunned me because you just don't expect that sort of slip-up from an intellectual of such renown.
Dear Leader,
Lil' Kim, my fool is hanged. Goodnight, sweet prince of darkness, and may a thousand demons badly sing thee (American Idol-style) to thy most hellish nightmare scenario.
The golfing world mourns a true legend.
End of Iraq War / Death of Christopher Hitchens. Proof of the existence of God's sense of humor?
We've known that God has a sense of humor ever since he created the platypus.
Actually, the platypus is proof that God drinks.
KIm Jong Il was only 69- he looks like he is in his 80s!
Because he was trying to continue living in the 80s..
1 = Kim The Greater
2 = Kim The Lesser
3 = Kim The Least
So you think Kim Kardashian will be named the next leader of DPRK?
Haven't the poor blighters suffered enough already?!
3 = Kim the Last
4= Kim the Nahga, Nahga… Naghana work here anymore anyway.
One wonders if Kim died of ronriness.
"Fuck Yeah!"
Poor widdle him.
Is it wrong that this was my first thought on hearing of his death?
(It was also the first thing that occurred to Mr. Fatale.)
This is why Tebow lost yesterday. God was busy elsewhere.
Now that's funny!
Here I thought it was because he had to go against a non-shitty team for once.
Also God was busy making sure Kyle Orton put in a star turn to lead a feeble KC team over previously undefeated Green Bay. Now Denver knows why the corners of God's lips were twitching and he shot a quick wink at Vishnu and Odin the All-father when Denver cut Orton and promoted Tebow to prime time. Between telling Santorum, Bachmann and Cain to run for President at the same time, and then getting talibangelist hopes up with low scoring wins against weak teams, He hasn't had this many laughs since he created the platypus.
"What next, Jane Goodall followed by Michael Vick? The Dalai Lama followed by Dick Cheney? "
Anybody, followed by Carrot Top.
Or Rush fucking Limbaugh
Really great people always die in pairs. Think Mother Theresa and Lady Diana. Or Michael Jackson and Billy Mays.
"Anybody, followed by Carrot Top."
*puzzles, jotting down ideas on note pad*
Anybody followed by Donald Trump…
AHA!
Donald Trump, followed by Carrot Top!
I'd make it a trifecta by adding Don King, but really, that only fits if you're going with an Egregious Hair Theme, rather than, say, an Egregious Asshole Theme.
No I'd say all three fit under the Egregious Asshole theme.
Orders of magnitude, friend, orders of magnitude.
Very nicely done Jack! woo hoo!!
All of Condi's admirers are dropping like flies.
Guess that means Cheney will be around for awhile. And Rumsfeld. Drats.
They were becoming inconvenient now that her latest beau can supply her with polonium.
Coincidence??? I DON'T THINK SO!!!!
If all of Condi's admirers are dropping like flies, why is she still with us?
"Field Guidance" = "Put Mass Grave #347 right about here."
As I said last night, he will never be ronely again….
Vaclav Havel has always been my go to example of a non-evil politician. I love the idea of a career in the arts as preparation for supreme executive power. Little Kim conversely has always been my go to example of an evil politician and why political dynasties are usually a bad idea. As recently as last Friday I threw Vaclav’s hat in the ring on Wonkette as a third party candidate imagine my horror Sunday morning.
Great, he saw your comment and dropped dead at the thought of entanglement in US style politics.
Yeah. Thanks a lot, Goonemeritus.
Well, as long as you have the power, how about suggesting Cheney throw his hat in the ring?
Anyone who likes trains can't be that bad….
You know what other leader was known for his involvement in rail travel…?
Ringo Star? George Carlin?
Trotsky?
Al Stewart?
Joe Biden?
Jonny Cash?
Bin Laden?
That's a real mystery. Train? Maybe Elvis?
Screamin' Jay Hawkins?
Cat Stevens?
Y'know, it's always "Hitler Hitler Hitler" in these little pop quizzes. Benito "Trains on Time" Mussolini almost never gets love.
Damn straight! Did Adolph ever walk around with his shirt off or get photographed flying airplanes? Advantage, Benito!
Hitler? And here I thought we were expected to answer with an Atlas Shrugged reference.
Ding Ding Ding!
Don Cornelius?
Ayn Rand?
Stephen Hawking followed by Louis Gohmert.
Aretha Franklin followed by Little Jimmy Dickins.
Condoleeza Rice followed by Alborosie.
Pat Boone followed by Ozzie Osborne.
Black Sabbath libel!
I think you got that last one messed up. Wait, a few of them look messed up, now. I haz a confoosed.
Sorry. I guess the decaf hasn't kicked in yet. My muddled thinking was that the pairs diverged, respectively, with respect to intellect, funkiness, the racial group with which they identify, and fundamentalism.
I can understand your confusion. Pat and Ozzie and Aretha and Jimmy are all consummate musicians, and Stephen and Louis have similar voice patterns.
I thought the formula was to put the good/talented people first, and then the lesser second?
Great. Now I have to go back to Excel and re-sort my list.
We can take comfort that "mental over-work" has never been a threat to any recent US Presidents.
Or Wonketeers!
Wha?! This mostly quality snark requires quite a bit of nimble mental work.
Or "work scotch".
That's a pretty rough photo for Wonkette to be posting first thing on a Monday morning, thanks.
That naked photo did get my eyes wide open without the coffee. Of course now I'll have nightmares for a week.
double penetration of the cock brothers… oh, i see what you did there.
Nobody cares about the railroads anymore.
This train's got the disappearing railroad blues.
Posting "You know who else…" again
Wonketeers will please refrain
I hear the train a-comin'
It's rolling round the bend
I haven't see Kim Jong Il
Since I can't remember when.
Their tastes in music were also quite different. Kim Jong Il was an Elvis fan; Havel listened to Lou Reed.
There's a bit of magic in everything
And then some loss to even things out
Havel wrote absurdist satirical plays. Kim inspired them.
Under Kim, North Korea was an absurdist satirical play….
OH I GET IT – performance art!
I always thought that Vaclav Havel and Lech Walesa weren't real people, rather, playful names used in textbooks to trip up students reading them as some kind of inside joke among textbook publishers.
I see that I was wrong. Gotta read up on some Vaclav.
They're a bitter reminder that you're not allowed to use personal names as Scrabble words.
Also, it's one thing to go through life *being* a lech, and quite another to go through life with the *name* "Lech".
they sound like desserts.
Kim Jong-un, the Un-leader.
Let us now imagine that one day something in our greengrocer snaps and he stops putting up the slogans merely to ingratiate himself. He stops voting in elections he knows are a farce. He begins to say what he really thinks at political meetings. And he even finds the strength in himself to express solidarity with those whom his conscience commands him to support. In this revolt the greengrocer steps out of living within the lie. He rejects the ritual and breaks the rules of the game. He discovers once more his suppressed identity and dignity. He gives his freedom a concrete significance. His revolt is an attempt to live within the truth.
Power of the Powerless, Vaclav Havel, 1978
Lemme guess. Rick Santorum?
And Kim Jong Il replied, "What the fuck is a greengrocer?"
Whereupon Dick Cheney said, "Never mind greengrocer, slanty-eyes, what the fuck is conscience?"
To which Obama replied, "Will both of you shut up? I'm trying to figure out what the fuck is solidarity!"
Nice!
I don't know why, but there's something kind of creepy and special about world leaders being photographed in their underwear.
Does this mean that Silly Sarah's collection of Putin lingerie shots is… I don't know… maybe a little weird?
Newt the Gingrinch in his tightie-whities or GTFO.
Eyeballs, meet bleach.
*passes spork*
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss…
I didn't know "physical and mental over-work" came in 9mm packages.
"double-penetration suicide of the Koch Brothers"
Hey…when did you see my Christmas list?
I think it's important, at this moment, to keep in mind the real hero of this story: George W Bush and his policy of jailing and torturing Arabs pretty much at random while ignoring North Korea.
I mean, it's so obvious that America was able to give Kim Jong Il cancer or whatever thanks to information we obtained from torturing random Arabs the better part of a decade ago that I don't even need to back that claim up with facts, really.
Barb couldn't be here today but asked me to post this on her behalf:
"He is suceeded by his son, Kim Jong Healthy, aka, next of Kim. Say HELLO to Saddam, Osama and Moammar, you FAT FUCK!"
I'll forward all your upfists to Barb.
Must be the meds…
What meds would that be , DaRooster?
I thought this "Merciless" fellow's entreaty sounded fishy. I'm terribly astute in spotting such things, you know.
Nah, we were up late last night and goofing. Jeff is on vacay and I asked V to post this for me today. It's snowing here in New Mexico and we're stuck in the house now.
This owls guy or gal or bot is casting aspersions on our Platonic relationship and my very veracity, and I won't stand for it!
Geez, you people with Aspersioner's are pretty damn touchy.
I'm waiting for Assad to die of acute lead poisoning.
He looks like somebody it’d be fun to shoot.
Or at least become Syriasly il.
Kim died of physical over-work? Was he pulling that train himself?
p.s. Are we sure that's not a tray of cinnabons?
He was "pulling a train" in the Jenna Jameson sense.
Nelson Rockefeller LIBEL!!!
So which world leader will die next? These things always come in threes, you know. The laws of karma dictate that he be neither as beloved as Havel nor as detestable as Kim, so that narrows it a bit.
Can it be Al-Assad? Please, hung upside down by his toes in Damascus' central square?
"The laws of karma dictate that he be neither as beloved as Havel nor as detestable as Kim, so that narrows it a bit."
OK, I know he recently stepped down to spend less time with his family, but what about the comic relief of Silvio Berlusconi?
"neither as beloved as Havel nor as detestable as Kim"
Other than ruling out Dick Cheney and Santa Claus, how does that narrow the possibilities at all?
Sar Cozy might.
They say you should only speak good things about the dead. So, um, let's see:
Kim Jong Il is dead. Good.
I find that first picture very difficult to mast…Ah forget it.
I see what you tried to do there.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJNBfBr-OGU
That is all.
Goddamn, that's funny.
We may have just lost the world’s best choreographer.
Needs moar utterly GAY military dancing and prancing, also.
You know who *else* likes regiments of attractive, scantily clad, young men and women goose-stepping?
"…due to physical and mental over-work…"
So someone finally worked him over physically? Good… I always knew he was mental.
Did he choke on a whole chicken?
If they had just taken an online Photoshop class, Kim could have lived on forever:
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/03/on_the_s...
What's going on in fourth picture from the top:
Kim: So then, the walrus says, "Pardon me, good sir, haz u seen mai bukket?'
Henchmen [pulling nervously at shirt collars]: Aha ha ha! That's very funny, Sir! You see, because he's got a bucket there… and… he's a walrus… and so he probably can't spell… and… That's very funny, Sir!
But who will starve the North Korean people, keep them cut off from the outside world and crush their spirits now?
Oh, his son, that's right; never mind, their lives will still suck horribly.
It's a cushy job being an egomaniacal leader, but somebody's got to do it.
There's more to the job than that. You also have to go around North Korea looking at things, occasionally gesturing at them with your right arm only.
"Oh, his son, that's right; never mind, their lives will still suck horribly."
Oh, I dunno, look how well it worked he–
Oh, shit. Those poor people.
Don't worry, Kim 3 will crush them thoroughly. It's the perk of being the only person in the entire country allowed to eat food. And oh does he eat the food.
How can they tell?
The Kim dynasty: Garbage Out, Garbage In
How quickly will the Republicans claim Kim's death is the result of the Bush doctrine, but Havel's death can be blamed on the Muslin-in-Chief?
Fox News already has a picture captioned Kim Jong Il [D-North Korea].
Havel was a poet and playwright, an intellectual; Republicans will have never heard of him.
In the topless picture he looks like he's saying "What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
If I hadn't been so distracted around those early 90's by Jeff Koons running around with his porn star bride/ parliamentarian Cicciolina I might have tried to avail myself of these more grounded literary politicians whose books I was shelving at the time, Havel's as well as Mario Vargas Llosa. It is one reason I was grateful to have Harper's for excerpting and interviewing such figures that fleshed out what minimal exposure I could take the time for.
You know, we have an idiotic and ineffective national legislature, but so far as I know it doesn't have any members who are porn stars, unless you count Miche1e Bachmann. Yet another reason to hate them.
Don't forget Scott Brown!
"I am thy father's spirit,
Doomed for a certain term to walk the night,
And for the day confined to fast in fires,
Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature
Are burnt and purged away."
Heck of a job, Kimmie.
Kim can be a Boys name and a Girls name.
alt text: "even the president of North Korea sometimes must have to stand naked."
Well thank God he's not "standing" in that photo. Jeezus Christ, looks like he's wearing a spangled thong as he waits for his pants to come out of that dryer.
I'm trying to remember a picture that nauseated as much as this one.
Perhaps the Newt-in-a-diaper….
Vaclav Havel was also a Velvet Underground and Lou Reed fan – which is just more reason to love him. He was the one leader I can think of who could listen to "Heroin" and not either have a stroke or want it banned.
I'm glad we don't publish pictures of our leaders in their underwear. Imagine GWB or Dick Chenney sitting around in their thongs. Oh I made myself sad.
Just another scumbag dead,yet David Hasslehoff still lives?
…As does Mel Gibson.
Havel and Vick both did their time.
Will this ceaseless parade of political-celebrity deaths end with Santa Claus himself … followed immediately by the double-penetration suicide of the Koch Brothers?
Sorry Santa – that's just too good a deal to pass up.
Let's hope Lil Kim gets the same dignified burial that the Ayatollah Khomeini got from his horde.
"the same dignified burial"
Neck-deep, in the middle of a crowd armed with swords and baseball bats?
And falling out of his coffin, yes.
So… how's Robert Mugabe? What's he been up to lately?
How come none of our horrible politicians ever die? I swear to god (the diety of your choice) I am going to have a party when Cheney dies.
So is everyone else, including his wife and kids.
Lost another leader over the weekend. RIP Warren Hellman, most beloved capitalist ever.
matt and trey weep quietly in a corner.
I still think Kim Jong Il looks like that cartoon Chicken Little.
i think you're, i say, i think you're on to something.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_13KXQo7-RcI/TGT0VmQskfI...
Needz moar duckface.
oh. you said duck.
That picture can actually made semi-enjoyable with the simple addition of a sound file of the words, "SQUEAL LIKE A PIG, BOY!!" in a Southern accent.
What does this mean for the next season of 30 Rock?
The Dalai Lama followed by Dick Cheney?
Can something die that is not really alive?
he died of "mental over-work"…hahahaha that would never happen to Bush…
No mo' Margaret Cho.
Kim = puppet of Soviet Union and Communist China.
Kim forever in the minds of Americans = puppet of Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
Cheney! Party of one!
Vaclav Havel, Kim Jong Il, and now Cheetah, the rule of three is satisfied. North Korea's reaction hits home with me and all Tarzan fans.
No prob, Bob, we'll still be here.
I was referring to the medical procedure from last week. I thought that was happening… did you save me some ham?
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