When Michelle Obama is bored from exercising with toddlers all day, she takes on her second hobby: supporting The Troops. After all, that is what her recent NASCAR horror and teevee appearance were all about. We thought she was doing these things out of her respect for military families. But as it turns out, she really just thinks Marines are super hawt. Our FLOTUS was spreading the low-fat holiday cheer at a Toys for Tots event last week when a braver, younger, more dashing and more uniformed Barack Obama made a move on Michelle, as Mariah Carey sang in approval. Sasha and Malia, meet your new step dad!
Michelle Obama was just hanging out, meeting some soldiers, when a daring young Marine channeled his massive cojones to ask out our First Lady. With the unbearable Christmas pop blaring over the speakers and 3-D Eiffel Tower puzzles piled in a giant heap, the scene was as romantic as could be:
The first lady also got a surprise invitation from a soldier to be his date at next year’s Marine Corps Ball.
Lance Cpl. Aaron Leeks, 20, of Frederick, Md., said he asked Obama to accompany him because he’s a fan and admires her work to support the military.
When Obama was sorting toys at the charity event and came close to Leeks, he leaned over a toy bin and got her attention to pop the question. The first lady smiled and called over a staff member as she chatted with Leeks.
“She said she’d love to go,” Leeks said. “Actually, she said I’d need to speak to her husband, too, but she said she’d love to.”
And here is the video of their innocent exchange.
The Marine Corps Ball happens to be in November 2012. Our FLOTUS will probably be relieved to have something pleasant to look forward to that month. [AP]
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Well, Barry could really use a kick in the ass right now.
Particularly in the left cheek.
That's MY territory. You leave Mister Barry's ass ALONE.
Is that the other one? The one he keeps turning?
Fox Noise is reporting that Michelle is leaving Barry.
See, without going to their website, I can't tell if you're joking.
Along with millions of Democrats.
Michele O'Bachmann is leaving the fag??? Are u kidding me?
I don't care what your politics are, I still think you can have a weakness for military uniforms.
it's a story because of the race thing, right?
He was a lance corporal. For some reason his rank is now private. And he's been dispatched to the Korean DMZ.
The Northern side of the Korean DMZ.
On-her guard duty at the funeral?
Ballin' with Pak Un. Pak's wearing his trusty Kukoc jersey, Leeks is rocking John Wall.
Where the entire north Korean military will play dong chim with him.
DAAAAAAAAAMN!!!! No wing man, no booze, she's married to a rich and powerfull dude, never talked to her before, and he just asks for a date out of the blue! Lance Cpl. Aaron Leeks, Baconz doffs his cap to you.
"she's married to a rich and powerfull dude"
His boss no less!
He truely is a hero for ALL American men.
Dem sex scandals are so romantic.
In espionage circles his codename is Wikidleeks.
Yeah, this boy's got cojones! For the next thirty minutes, anyway.
On a scale of 1 to 10 I'm going to score this a "Mac-tacular".
(sniff!) I see. So *that's* how it is. Only *Baconzgood* luvs meh. (sniff!)
I'm goin' in the garden and eat worms. Soon's I figure out how to get down all these stairs. (sob!)
That took balls considering the 82nd Airborne works for her husband.
(Old "West Wing" joke, I know)
No has tee vee. Pls 2 explain teh joke.
So Charlie, the President's aide (fictional version of Reggie Love) wants permission to date Zoey Bartlett, the youngest daughter who is a freshman in college. Funny scene where he goes into the Oval Office to ask permission from said President who was played by Martin Sheen. The Prez says yes but gives Charlie the reminder that "the 82nd Airborne works for me."
Oh, and Charlie is black and Zoey is white which will cause issues later during the first season.
I'll bet the outtakes from this were werf a elebenty brazilian.
Edited to add: Also, thanks, too.
I hope a gay marine asks Barry. That would be awesome.
And when the two couples bump into each other on the dance floor?
Awkward!
And Barry accepts. Even awesome-er!
You must hate Amurkkka. You know half the population would be wiped out from heady-explodey that selfsame night.
All part of the master plan…..
i want this to be a movie.
Left's Behind?
The Rupture?
Scanners 6?
Dr. Strangelove 2: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Obama?
Radio Silence Of The Shams?
I am so with you. Let's do it.
Amurkkka 2day: Silence of Teh Hamz.
"half the population would be wiped out from heady-explodey that selfsame night"
Only the weak half.
Then he would have to behead himself as part of sharia law.
That's what happens when you creep.
No sacrifice too great for country! I'm there!
No, wait, I'm not. Gimp.
Thank you SO much for this. I was running out of subjects for my fapping fantasies.
"I was running out of subjects for my fapping fantasies."
Fran Drescher has a threesome with Gilbert Gottfried and Bobcat Goldthwait. You're welcome.
"Ms. Tessiee? Ma'am it's the Hague on Line 2 and it sounds like they're awfully upset."
Oh, the Hague, the Hague!
I am SO SICK of those guys!
I can't fart in elevators!
When I'm in the store, and the muzak is playing the Twelve Days of Christmas, I can't sing along really loud with the part that goes FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!
I can't do my Fran Drescher laugh, even though it's identical to my regular laugh!
What the hell CAN I do???
they sing We Are The World after the money shots.
Frau Blucher?
It's teh drugz, I swarez!
The FLOTUS and I have yet again something ELSE in common. I think Marines are hawt too! Throw a bag over their IQ and turn up the lights!
What they lack in IQ is made up for in stamina.
Preach, sister.
Huzzah!!
Major Leeks will have a bright future in the military.
It is nice to see stories about happy things.
Your comment made me watch the video, thanks. That is one fine looking young man.
Does look like a young Barry too.
Yes, he IS! Tasty like ice cream, to be et wiv a spoon.
Hey, PAD, how's the knee?
Hey, pretty lady. It's bleeding. I don't think it's supposed to do that. I have a call in to one of those stern nurse ladies who will doubtless scold me in a meaningful, dominatrixish sort of way (I do adore a woman in a crisply tailored uniform). Also, drugs. Woo-woo.
Impeachment hearings for the first lady starting in 5… 4… 3…
Brought about by newt, obvs.
Immediately followed by newt putting the moves on her.
She could — and probably would — break his back with one hand.
A thousand stud diamonds to the young Lance Cpl. if he asked Michelle to "ditch the zero and get with a hero."
"Ditch the schoolboy and get with a loverboy."
Quick! He's not Aaron Leeks. He's Smoove B on a very deep, some might even say 'bass', cover.
Girlfriend, he's smart and gutsy, not suicidal, OK?
Instead of a War on Christmas can we start a War on That Mariah Carey Song. If I hear it one more time, I swear to Bieber, I'm gonna have to cut a bitch.
At least it's not as bad as that Paul McCarty Christmas song, or any version of Twelve Days of Christmas (yes, even the ones that are meant to be funny). Or *shudder* Don't They Know It's Christmastime?, probably the most patronizing song ever made.
Oh no, that Wham! song is NOT getting a pass. Worst. King of Worst. The Paul McCartney song has to let the Wham! Christmas song have sex with it.
Hopefuly the Wham! song can't conceive.
Thank you very much for lodging that infernal song in my brain.
♫Simply having
murderous thoughts about Sorosbot♫
Kenny G is the one that makes me more ornery than a rattler with a tooth abscess.
You *do* realize that I have a twisted imagination, don'tcha?
Of course you do. Of course.
Kenny G makes my ears bleed.
Oh that is the absolute worst. Do they know it's Christmas time? They're African, not fuckin stupid.
But tonight thank god that it's them instead of you! Ugh; most patronizing song ever.
But there won't be SorosBot in Africa this Christmas time! The greatest gift SorosBot will get this year is LIFE!
"tonight thank god that it's them instead of you!"
I always thought that was kinda cold, like "sucks to be you, starvin' Marvin".
"Don't They Know It's Christmastime?"
Yeah, "there won't be snow in Africa this year".
There won't be snow in Africa *any* year, because it's freakin' Africa!
Only acceptable Christmas songs:
1. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire
2. You're a Mean one, Mr. Grinch
3. Chipmunk song with "I still want a Hula Hoop".
These songs may be played a maximum of ONCE between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
My sole ambition every Christmas season is to get to Boxing Day without hearing The Little Fuckin' Drummer Boy all the way through. Unfortunately last Friday at a department store blew it for me, so maybe next year. But it should be illegal to play any commercial jingle to the tune of The Carol of the Bells.
Ever hear Marlene Dietrich croon that Christmas chestnut? Oooo, you'll never think about it the same way again.
I just saw Destry Rides Again, and I never ever want to have to hear Marlene Dietrich "sing" again.
You're still OK with Lili von Schtupp, though, right?
Mine is "The 12 Days of Christmas". Never gonna happen.
Although that song is longer than the unplugged version of "Free Bird", and even less fun, I do like the part that goes:
FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!!
Wait, wait, wait. Hold the phone. Boxing Day? What nationality are you?
I'm enjoying John Lennon's "Happy Xmas/War is Over" more than usual this holiday season, what with the Iraq unpleasantness having ended and all.
"Iraq unpleasantness"
That sounds like something GWB would say, or,well, mangle, really.
"The Eye-rack Inpleasantful."
And a very merry "one-war-down, x-1 to go" Xmas to you too, MzNicky.
Try this one instead, SexySmurf.
I will cut anyone who mumbles that inane spanish song, Feliz Navidad . I can stand almost everything else but that one inspires homicide.
Antidotes:
Merry Christmas From the Family (Sweet, in its way…but then, I think Roethke's "My Papa's Waltz" is sweet, too.)
White Wine In The Sun (Best Atheist Christmas song EVAR)
And either the "Xmas in Frisko" or "Christmas Lounge" streams from Soma FM, for people who are into That Sort Of Thing
Soma FM is great, as is The Reindeer Room: A Christmas Chillout
How about "Walking Around in Women's Underwear" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDX04uo5Lvk
If I have to hear Mannheim Steamroller's take on Carol of the Bells one more time…
Is this the same GIrine that asked Mila Kunis?
Cuz that would make an aawesome threesome.
OK, I'll be in my bunk…
Can you imagine a Marine asking Laura Bush to the Marine Corps Ball? No?
That is all.
In fairness, I'd be afraid of dying in a car wreck
Taking Back Sunday predicted the Bush years.
Maybe an undertaker.
As a former Marine, I asked Kate Bush to accompany me to the Marine Corps Ball back in the late eighties. Never heard back from her. Went to the 9:30 Club to see the Butthole Surfers instead of attending the Ball.
Kate the offer is still valid, although it will be the Ugly Sweater Holiday Party or the Hookers Ball at our fine Oregon Coast watering hole.
Soundz like a job for ttommyunger.
Don't hurt me ttommy.
Despite all the things said about her, Laura Bush is a nice lady (in that middle-America-bland-I-pop-Valium-like-candy-because-my-life-sucks-ass kinda way), but I don't think even George would ask her to the Ball. Any Ball.
Or Nancy Reagan for that matter. Or Betty Ford. Or Pat Nixon. Or Mamie Eisenhower. How come Republican presidents have such unsexy wives?
Well, if the rumors about Nancy are true, I'd imagine she'd be very popular.
I can't imagine anyone asking Laura Bush anywhere. She may be a very nice person, but let's face it, the woman looks like The Joker, and that's just plain creepy.
Marine….Leeks……Marine…..Leeks…..render that fucker to Gitmo
–CIA
That guy does indeed look like a younger version of Barry! Sure, why not?
But I really wish it had been a white dude asking Michele out. Then if she'd said yes. I mean, just imagine the Freeper response to THAT! (In their heads, black soldiers out defending our freedoms don't really "count" and in their mind whenever they think "brave soldier" well, guys like the one in this video don't really come to mind)…
Kind of looks like a shorter Barry, Good on him and good on our First Lady. I have to say he better brush up on his “White gloves and party manners” if he embarrasses the Corp his life is going to get real craptacular.
Once you go black oh wait a minute.
Yeah? Hitting on the bosses wife not smart.Trust me.
The Invincible Tornado is a really good toy. I broke mine, but that is because I took it apart to see what made it invincible and couldn't put it back together.
That reminds me of a particularly sadly funded Christmas when Mom and Pop (err, Santa) gave me an Invisible Puppy.
That's the saddest thing I ever heard.
Is this a tie-in to the Marine Corps Reserves Toys for Tots program? Because I got some pretty shitty gifts back then, too.
(Hugs Biff very much)
You get an early Invisible Xmas Present too. And it's not gonna be shitty, either.
'tis you mi amiga to turn the mistle on its toe.
An imaginary hummer? Just what I've always
wantedgotten!(Hugs jus_wonderin very much)
I'm sorry the Xmas was sadly funded, but srsly, Invisible Puppies make the best pets, seeing as you don't have to scoop poop and all. Because I'm higher than two fucking kites, I would like to give you an early Invisible Xmas Present. I'll tell you what it is when it arrives.
LOL. Did you tell UPS that they could put in on the porch if I wasn't there to sign for it??? Another sad fact, one time he got lost and we couldn't figure out how to describe him, much less, put a flyer on the light pole.
Hell to the yeah.
And, I don't see what the problem is, jus. I mean, he's invisible, so it's not like anyone can tell if he matches the description.
It might have been an Invisible Tornado. In which case, it wouldn't matter whether, or if, you put it back together, since you wouldn't see the tornado anyway.
Huh. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFY2zDvBn3c It appears to be an RC car that sort of breakdances. Looks really annoying.
Just FYI, I'm almost done with The Warden, and find, to my chagrin, that I have read it before AND watched a film based on it too. Also. And stuff.
Funny that I should have not-remembered, even in my drugged state I automatically remember my surgeon's office telephone number and the insurance adjuster's, too. Next, Can You Forgive Her?, from The Palliser Novels. Light reading, indeed, and a quick read to boot. It usually takes me around two to five days for most nonfiction, but this has barely taken a day. If I could only keep my eyes open, that would help, of course.
Enjoyable read, tx for teh recommend.
"I broke mine, but that is because I took it apart to see what made it invincible and couldn't put it back together"
A rip-off unheard of since the book "The Never-ending Story".
Blair:
I'm pretty darn sure if Lance Cpl. Leeks had the opportunity to meet you, he'd drop Mrs. Obama like a bad transmission and ask you out.
The tots get toys, the First Lady gets a boy toy. Everybody wins, right?
Oh how adorable, I would like to join those two…I wouldn't know which way to turn.
Oh. Lizzie, any way but loose….
LL, is just staying in the middle an acceptable answer????
A Limey Lizzie Sandwich!
Man, she wouldn't have to ask anyone… just meet me at my house tomorrow around 3… no one needs to know.
*Lance* Cpl, eh? The boy had better be careful where he points that thing. However, this might just be a step up to *full* Cpl.
If Leek's lance leaks, there could be trouble!
Oh, I agree. This calls for a lance-protector.
Lance Cpl Leeks is most certainly not behaving as one of the few, the proud. This is more like taking your cousin to the prom. If Michelle shows up at the Marine Corps Ball, she will consider it strictly charity.
Have some stones and get a Real Date, young man!
"Sasha and Malia, meet your new step dad!"
I call dibs on Barry.
Get in line, girl.
Is there a way to weaponize the massive, brass balls on that young man?
She liked his Power Ranger, too.
The secret-servicey looking white guy in the suit that Michelle motioned over handed the Lance Corporal a slip of paper with Michelle's private, not through the switchboard number.
I wonder if Barry will politely ask for his wife back.Like she's a drone aircraft?
I wonder what kind of compromise he would accept in this case.
ROBERT REDFORD LIBEL.
That one took me a minute.
He wasn't so polite to a few of the guys in the range of them drones, of late.
Hunk – a – licious! Ladeez, amirite?
I sense a little bias here. Wut, doodz can't find POTUS Teh HOTT?
Why Marines have bigger balls? They sell more tickets!!!!! !
OK fine Lance Corporal Leeks, but I get her next.
Wait — all he had to do was ask?! [Thumps head on desk.]
Barry needs to step up Newt Gingrich style and pay a visit to Tiffany's before Michelle ends up introducing Sasha and Malia to their new daddy.
It will be easier for them to hang out after Newt becomes president, and all of us liberals, blacks, and hispanics are in the same detention camps.
All the minorities and liberals together- we will have the best food, books, movies, theater, clothing and music!
I'll take him if you don't want him, Michelle. I consider it my patriotic duty to show that marine a good time.
You'll have to unfasten 13 buttons to achieve your goal.
"Annnnnnticipation, you're makin' me wait….."
♡Flotus got BACK♡
Just sayin'.
And she *hugged* him! (swoon)
No kidding. I'm sure she smells good, too……and those arms!!!
Stop it, yer making me drool. What I wouldn't give for an hour alone with this lovely woman.
…with a name like "Leeks" it might be a good idea to have him take a quick STD test, just saying!
'Home' for the holidays Guy?
The OG ABG? Anger loves company.
The few, the proud — and the ballsy. I look forward to reading about this guy, 20 or 30 years into his career.
Pfft, he's just another reason Barry will never close Gitmo.
Oh great. Thanks a lot Lance Cpl. Aaron Leeks. Now Barry's gonna have to start a brand new war just so he can send you off to die in it.
It's all fun and games until someone asks the First Lady out.
There's precedent, dammit! (Solomon? David? Uriah? Somebody done did this before!)
You got two out of three — David got Bathsheba's unfortunate husband Uriah put in mortal peril since he refused to leave his comrades, which meant that it would be evident Uriah hadn't fathered the impending child. It's not the oldest trick in the book, but it's up there.
So, bitch set 'em up?
King David's been called worse, but yeah.
7:32 AM
9:20 AM
9:43 AM
10:30 AM
11:30 AM- zzzzzzzzzz
Premature enjoculation?
Time to catch up on stringing the branches about your aerie with festive lighting.
Ugh, I just had a premonition of how talk radio will react to this news.
"Those Black women with all their boyfriends."
It's the culture. And the rap music. Now if they would just send their kids to work as janitors … etc etc.
Damn welfare queens!
So many baby-fathers.
I dunno, I thought Neal Conan handled it quite tastefully.
Wow. I think I'm'a sign up right away. HAWT.
This could do wonders for military recruiters.
We're gonna run out of FLOTUS way before we run out of eager Marine recruits …
Oops. Sorry, Mrs. O, but I can't go. My unit just received unexpected emergency orders to be shipped out to Bypakiitzstanstan for the next five years. Well, not my entire unit. Just me.
I hope y'all got it by the gallon bucket, 'cos I have some irritation that needs plenty o' bluntin'.
I can imagine that I would be able to define the shortest length of time that can be measured if I had leaned over and asked Michelle to go-with at one of my balls.
Can we say Gitmo for JW at warp speed?
He could ingratiate himself with the First Lady by giving
this item from Sears to the First Daughters.
I'm beginning to reconsider my life-long hatred for the song, "Accentuate the Positive."
3-D Eiffel Tower puzzles
at a US AMERICA MILITARY event?? wtf??!?!
this country really has gone to hell.
Anybody remember this?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/13/obama-ho...
I remember. The locals cheerfully refer to this town as "Cheekta-Warsaw".
All the hotties at the party shake your booties, yeah.
ot but palin's flapping her mouth again "not too late to get in race'
sighhhhhh.
The dog on the porch always barks the loudest.
There's not a chance in hell my dreams could come true and she would run; this is just her way of saying, "Pay attention to ME!!!"
Notice how nobody reports anything she says or does anymore? It's gotta be killing the bitch.
Are you saying that Michelle is suffering "buyer's remorse" over Hopey just like the rest of us?
Was the Wonkette Christmas party this evening? Everyone phoned in their story early and went home to gussy up for the big event?
And surprise, surprise we weren't invited.
Now, I'm pissed. I bet they're at some fancy restaurant wearing formal evening wear and there's an open bar and those little hot dogs on sticks. Either that, or Hopey didn't appreciate this post and went all predator-drone on them. Oh well.
And all of Layne's Republican friends come dressed as clowns in tuxedos. And I don't think those hot dogs are exactly little.
Or maybe SOPA was signed into law.
Not going to click that link. But it is weird that Wonkette seems to have died right after the funny post about the handsome young Marine hitting on Michelle.
You think the whole staff has been Gulag'ed?
"those little hot dogs on sticks"
And those miniature Reubens! What mad genius came up with that?
Yeah, you know what those socialist snoots are doing. Eating their cruelty-free tofu, drinking their vegan micro-brew, and visions of gay co-ops dance in their heads. Secret Santa prolly gave away Canadian dildos, too.
No love for the wonketteers.
It surely does seem like we're the nerds who're just waitin', waitin', waitin' for that phone call to the party.
no hookers and blow for us…
Back to drinking and hitting "refresh" like a monkey with Parkinson's for us …
that's good. i was worried i was the only one who did that. maybe that's the difference between those of us who frequent Wonkette vs. Breitbart's Big Ego: Parkinson's monkeys vs. rage-infected monkeys. more Michael J. Fox and less Fox News.
fuck. i'm bored.
Oh, snark-free, how cute is HE?
pretty goddamned cute. i would even venture 'handsome'.
You better sit on a towel.
so i don't know whether nikkid lil kim or sarah palin pooping is grosser but i sure do know i'm on the wonkette.
cheers!
Well, if the Wonkette staff won't play with us, we'll have to play with ourselves!
Wait…
Anyway, thanks to fuflans for pointing this out, that Sister Sarah is flapping her gums about running for Prez (oh please oh please oh please):
http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/sarah-pali...
There are just a few comments at the WaPo….<hint hint>
Wouldn't it be great if the Griftette fired up the roadshow and went independent? Form a new conservative splinter party and just Nader the living shit out of this election? If there was only more of them down ticket to gum up the works.
I love how you used "Nader" as a verb.
Also calling $arah's threatened candidacy the down ticket.
Palin told Fox News Channel over the weekend that she felt no enthusiasm for anyone in the current GOP field and that she needed to feel something before she would offer an endorsement.
I've got something she can feel, but I have to be blindfolded and her mouth has to be gagged.
Now, now, flamingp, that's not nice. You know she won't do anything for free. Offer to pay and be a gentleman, at least.
OK, does he have to offer to pay AND be a gentleman? Or can he just offer to pay and then Nader the living shit out of her?
Fuck the overlords. who needs 'em? Katydid and AngryBlakGuy back on the same thread. Run, Sarah, Run — you grifter, idiot bitch.
Sarah who?
Why, Sarah Lou Who, of course.
I can't snark about this exchange: nice looking young Marine, classy First Lady doing her usual classy thing. Nice! No rejection, no harm, no foul. I love it!
A Child's Garden of Free Republic comments on this story:
I think this is a pretty obvious setup. But whether it is or not, it is very inappropriate. She is married, and the wife of his CIC.
In college, we called that the Buffalo Hunt. $20 into the pot, winner is the one who takes home the ugliest chick.
I thought the Marines had vision requirement minima. Or maybe he’s planning to go hoggin’ afterward?
Its wrong on many fronts if it true she should have politely declined and then offered her daughter
What a crass peas of Sh!t TOTUS and her husband.
Political Stunt by the White House. Because of the Celebrities being asked to the ball, then the White House said look we can score points!!!
Does this mean that Moochelle is standing up her Secret Service lover for one night?
[Seriously, is this a "thing" in Greater Wingnuttia? Hadn't heard of that one....DZ]
I thought Bill and Hillary were the most bizarre couple ever to occupy the White House, but Bambi and Bubbles have got them beat!
Pure KKKlass. And TOTUS ? Really? You carping little creeps.
What does the first T mean?
Halfrican & Mulatto don't fit. Nor Cuckold.
Teleprompter, hurr hurr hurr
T
I couldn't work out TOTUS – I think I'm being slow.
http://michellemalkin.com/2009/03/23/fun-with-tot...
Sorry to unleash the beast here.
Well, ok, but that still doesn't explain:
What a crass peas of Sh!t TOTUS and her husband.
Unless this is just freepers attempting comedy? Or just being knuckle-dragging fuckwits. Probably fuckwits.
That's Garry Trudeau level weak. Clinton as a waffle, Bush as an asterisk — right wingers better look at their game, or I'll think them corny as that libtard Yalie.
And the knocks on Michelle, as fat, are laughable. No fat ass has clavicles like hers.
their game is weak and always has been. i think there must exist a Wingnut Magic 8-Ball they consult to decide which random 1 of 20 insults/jokes they will use on any given day. or they found the ancient and secret asshole edition of the I Ching.
I think it was Rushbo who started this "Michelle is fat" thing. And to be fair, compared to … say, a 10 year old Dominican boy … she is a lot heavier.
Its wrong on many fronts if it true she should have politely declined and then offered her daughter
I know the past 3 years have seemed like a decade, but last time I checked, Sasha and Malia were criminally underage. Freepers are even more sick and twisted than I had previously believed.
Michelle was supposed to offer up a virgin daughter sacrifice to Kochthulhu.
He so vain.
Back in 2008, when the President was sworn into office, I took one last look around the wreckage there, and, srsly. That site is for kiddie pornsters and sodomitic rapists. You can't go there without hip waders and a brain bleach recycler set to endless loop.
"Bambi and Bubbles have got them beat!"
Not that I really care, but which one is Bambi and which one is Bubbles?
I can't take anyone who calls our beautiful and brilliant FLOTUS "a peas of shit" seriously.
"What a crass peas of Sh!t TOTUS and her husband."
I don't care for peas, either, but I think it's just unnecessary to drag them into the discussion.
Really, any member of the Obama family could be sitting in a chair reading the Bible to blind children in the leukemia ward of the hospital, and these assholes would find something hateful to say about it, even if they had to make it up out of whole cloth.
Everyone must be on strike.
Adultery club "endorses" Gingrich: http://blogs.mcall.com/penn_ave/2011/12/adultry-c...
Marcus Bachmann Announces His Anti-Gay 'First Spouse' Agenda: http://www.towleroad.com/2011/12/marcus-bachmann-...
The uninformed are essential to a working democracy, study finds: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-20...
Gingrich: 9 million immigrants will ‘go home’ voluntarily: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/12/18/gingrich-9-...
Ah, my favourite British newspaper (this is about the uninformed in democracy):
The uninformed are essential to democracy because their apathy helps to dilute the effect of powerful minority interests – for instance, highly educated elites – who would otherwise dominate public life.
The less interest someone has, the more they are likely to side with the majority, the researchers found – leading them to speculate that in human societies, the uninterested could be a vital 'counterbalance' against powerful groups.
Yes, because it's the educated elites who have the most money to fuck with the process. Those bastard university teachers and other educated people! BASTARDS!
There's a reason it's called the Daily Heil.
No snark- Toys for Tots and Salvation Army angel trees are fantastic programs, and they are sadly needed now more than ever. Since my son has 10 spoiling grandmothers, I don't get him gifts and instead have him help me shop for charity gifts and clothes for less fortunate kids.
0:28–Found the bra clasp.
Well, mercy sakes!
I'm usually partial to blonds, but he sure *is* a cutie pie!
All you'd need with that one is a straw and a spoon!
I heard Justin Timberlake asked her first, but she knew if she went with him, she'd have to put out. This way it's just safer, for the whole world.
Barry should "support" this troop with his right foot up the troop's ass. Time for someone to show him who his boss is. We all knew these wise-asses, you know the kid in school who'd push the boundaries and make borderline inappropriate comments to the teachers.
It'd be super awesome if she broke him out of jail and went with Bradley Manning to the ball…
Um, anyone else note with some discomfort that the post ^^^ there was shut down for commenting almost as soon as it went up?
Yeah. It's pretty fucking jarring to see a post get sealed on a site as comment-driven as this one. An explanation might be nice.
Yeah, what the fuck is going on there? A good chunk of the views are driven by people reading the article and then viewing the comments. Kaia is getting done out of cash by locking it.
I sense a great disturbance in the Wonkette, as if 100 comments suddenly died.
Just one more note regarding the now cryogenically sealed post ^^^ there. Actually, more like a link that some of you might find interesting:
http://julesmanson.com/
What's that? Why yes, yes I believe it does in fact allow commenting.
He's railing about psychopaths in the manner of a real psychopath. Stunning.
SOPA — Dingell approved.
But we can still up-cloaca you over there. WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot?
Header at this shitbag's web page: "Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself"
perfect. sorry, no sympathy for this devil.
You can also go to his Facebook page and comment.
Oddly enough, a comment from one "Yooser O'Fowles" suggesting that Julio's (his real name before he Frenchified it) dead father would not in fact be,
…very proud of you! To have such an honest and loyal son trying to make a difference in a City (community) he loved so much.[sic]
was splinched by the 'moderator.' How enormously ironic is it that this cunt could have that descriptor attached to his filthy hate-addled name.
Don't look now, but your comment got a response from NONE OTHER THAN JULES HIMSELF!
Totally OT, but I was just remembering some news I heard a few hours ago that totally got me angry. So, the insufferable Scott Pelli interviewed Leon Panetta, and they show a 60 Minutes clip of Panetta basically ramping up for a war with Iran. All this bullshit about how we'll use "any means necessary" to stop them, and that they are a year away or less **gasp** from getting a nuke.
Are they fucking kidding? I can promise you that if they got into Iran there will be blood in the streets of America. We will not tolerate this, again. We simply won't. You thought OWS and the Tea Party were bad, just you wait if Obama ever gets around trying to build up another war. I'll tell you right now, I've marched one other time in my life, but if they don't bring down this rhetoric, I'll be out there.
Anyone else see the interview?
Also OT, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who dislikes that smug cunt Pelley. How he got the CBS anchor job god only knows.
Rachel showed a clip tonight of Ron Paul during one of the Republican debates talking about how he feared the propaganda machine is stoking the flames for war in Iran, and though Rachel said the crowd applauded his line I suspect that was only Paul’s supporters.
“The World is 6000 years old” religious conservatives can’t wait to get over there and start blowing shit up and bring on the end times. That was after all the game plan when they went into Iraq and it failed miserably, but they won’t give up because they believe it is God’s plan and their responsibility to fulfill biblical prophecy. Scary bit is, the pentagon and government in general is running amok with these 6000 year folks and they have the means to ignite the fire.
I know I sound like I should have my tin foil hat on, but those folks really are a scary bunch.
Maybe someone who knows more than me can chime in, but I'm under the impression that a lot of military types – especially in the air force – are really quite nutty Christians. Evangelicals and Baptists, gnome sane?
Is that off the mark?
My impression from working with them: Air Force: pretty nutty, Army: little nutty. Navy, Marines: pretty normal people….
Yeah, the Air Force has become almost like a cult, unfortunately, at least the officers. We're talking the whole "good vs. evil" "clash of civilizations" nutty bullshit they try to push.
The religious conservatives are always for war. What I'm worried about is Obama's own Sec Def talking up war. There is absolutely no justification for this kind of talk on national television. Panetta's no fool, so I do wonder what he's up to.
Today as Wonkette was eerily quiet I thought it might be a good time to link to one of Ken’s great posts about how we all needed to get off our asses once in a while and live life. After multiple searches and reviewing many fine posts tagged “corn syrup” and “teevee” I have come to the conclusion that the post has been removed. Where did it go? Does anyone remember this besides me? Is Ken pilfering away the best of his work to compile some tome of Wonkette wisdom?
Just to prove I am not completely insane I found the related Wonkette facebook posts dated January 4, 2011 that links here: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/03/business/media/... with a heading that reads: “All people do in America is watch the goddamned teevee, 34 hours a WEEK”
Oh well, never mind. I guess hoping our Wonkettes would take the time to go for a walk and clear our collective blackened soul of political snark for a bit was more fantasy than reality anyhow.
I remember:
Revelation:
Facebook is the new AOL.
This soldier must have never heard the story of King David and Uriah the Hittite
Your knee is bleeding? Ouch!
That doesn't sound good. There must be easier ways to get drugs. And to get dominatrixed.
Hmm. It's definitely starting to sound as if it shouldn't be doing that. I think I'll go lie down now.
You'd think. Or one would. Well, unless one wuz Rich Purreh.
You are getting proper medical attention, yes? And booze and wonkette don't count.
Could be. Maybe we'll see this tomorrow morning when we turn on the Wonkette: http://a.abcnews.com/images/Politics/ap_Obama_int...
Where is the other hand?
Opening another fifth of rotgut scotch.
"…haf a hally, jally Christm- ::HAACK:: mas.."
You have my pen. (Kneels)
You know what? These drugs give you hallucinations, that's wut. Amazing ones, too.
Even *those* were imaginary? Geez, dood. Life was pretty fucking shitty.
OTOH, did you know that there really is an ailment called "micropenis"? The things you learn from reading Dan Savage, honestly!
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ .haf a hally, jally Christm.haf a hally, jally Christm- ::HAACK:: ♩ ♪ ♫ mas♠♮ And er happpy **Burp** new ye-y-year♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♠♮
Please, "King" David?
**cough, cough…mince…**cough**…sashay…**cough**
i wish i hadn't let my drawing skills fall into a state of disrepair like unto Bachmann's unattended Play-Doh Baby Fun Factory. at the very least this would make one hell of a comic book.
after all this time fucking One-L would be like opening the Ark. by that i also mean Nazis would be the ones to finally pry it open, also too.
Hamz Solo.
Of course, compared to *him,* the hippo-in-a-tutu star of Fantasia is a veritable sylph, but hey. I'm a speciesist, I know.
As it turns out, I doodle with real pens – because smelling them is half the fun. After the holidays I would be happy to help you meet your Obama-slash-Marine porn needs.
This is us caroling!
That's all I can figure. I refuse to go to Freep to search for clarification. Love the "peas of Sh!t," also, too.
Our precious Wonkette is on the blink tonight. A blight of posts, shutting down comments on a post that is hardly worse than Russ or Maulskin. Hug me PAD. Did SOPA get through fucking cloture?
Let's just say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When I see a 10 year old Dominican boy, I see a cheerful little scamp who should probably be in school. When Rush sees a 10 year old Dominican boy, he reaches for the little blue pills.
Allegedly.
I think not. That silly bitch still hasn't called back. If a customer called and said one of my company's products was making them bleed, I'd at least call back for the sake of the PR, know what I mean? I wouldn't want them telling our competitors that we let them bleed to death. Tomorrow I call the lawyer.
Isn't it funny how everybody hates a lawyer until they need one? And then they're all "Oh, yeah? Well, mine's got frickin' lasers on its head, OK?"
Oh, hellz, yeah. I don't think I realized till now how MUCH Blazing Saddles owes to Destry Rides Again.
{Holds the little Radio tightly} Fear not, my friend! I haven't the first clue whether I'm clasping a ham to my bosom or a radio, but we'll get through this somehow!
Hey PAD, are you still with us? Do we need to take some sort of action?
Could you take out Nurse-Practitioner Maggie Hermoso, plz? I can't believe she *still* hasn't fucking called me. I changed the dressing myself, yesterday, no mean feat since the bandages were soaked through with fresh blood. Ew. Anywho. Not bleeding any more, which is good. Surgeons tend to be very unsympathetic to complaints about their technique. Feeling a bit dodgy this morning, but that should go away with tonight's (final) injection of blood-thinner.
Don't mind me, everybody, I'll be in the corner with my cushion. Just throw me kibble throughout the day.
Actually, I think they're called "Viagra." Or maybe it's "Allegra."
Wutever.
Do you have any contact up the chain? Call her supervisor. Call a number where you get through and be obnoxious if you have to. Be polite, but insistent. Ask them if they prefer that you bleed out. This is unconscionable. Do you have anyone with you who can act as advocate? One thing I've learned when dealing with the medical world is you need a hard ass advocate to help you.
Unfortunately, no. But — tell the truth now — it was the part about throwing me kibble that tugged at your heartstrings, warn't it?
I have an appointment with them on Thursday, and plan to give them a piece or two of my mind. It's not like anyone will notice it's missing anyway.
Fortunately the bleeding has stopped, but what if it hadn't. I wouldn't wait until Thursday to give them shit. It wasn't the kibble that did it to me, it is the *&^*%^$^%)*)(**^ medical system that gets me fired up. My dogs would like to meet you, though.
Frankly, I'd like to meet your dogs too. I miss having dogs around, but gimps don't make good dog-people, as I found when trying to walk Corky. He was traumatized by moving vehicles (having been mowed down by a bus some years ago), which meant he would stop and freeze in his tracks if one came near us, so I'd have to pick him up and carry him to safety (he was a german shepherd/chow mix, so, not a small fella). He was very polite about it, but also firm. Dogs are sweet.
Yeah, the medical system in this country is for-profit, after all, and once they're finished with whatever procedure they decided you require, they're done with you. Schmucks.
This is great, though. I get to be a crabby old person. Everyone I'm being crabby at says, "Oh, that's OK, you're in pain, and besides, old people are crabby anyway." Except the cats. The cats are total fuckers and don't believe anyone but they have a right to be crabby. Already they've stomped the injured knee and left scratches all over my integument from neck to toes. I have to wonder if they're waiting for me to pass out and then scribbling the cat equivalent of graffiti on my hide: Nelson P'd hear; U R stinky; hairl355 ap35 r no fun
Stuff like that.
Your cats are sadists, it sounds like. I couldn't interpret the last phrase “hairl355 ap35″. Could you translate.So since the bleeding has stopped, do you seem to be recuperating?
I seem to be recuperating quite well despite lots of pain (I don't like painkillers so I'm always cheating on taking them, you know, accidentally-on-purpose "forgetting" to take them). I actually put weight on the knee for a bit today.
"hairl355 ap35" is l33tsp34k for, you know, hairless apes. And stuff. So, how many dogs should I plan on meeting, someday?
2 – one chocolate lab and one shih tzu. Both around 8 years old, both rescues. The lab was supposed to be a foster, but within 4 hours hubby was ready to adopt. We've had him about a year. The Shih tzu was lonely after his best bud (and our heart dog) died last year. She was golden/lab mix and smarter than all the repub prez candidates combined. Sigh. Miss her. But happy to have the pooches we have.What happened to the dog you had to carry around vehicles.
Poor old Corkster! He got old, you know. They do that, when you turn your back on them. Anywho. His back legs collapsed and we live up a hill and for a while it was OK, we just carried him downstairs when he needed to go, but then one day he just couldn't move any more, and — you know how dogs are? They have more guilt about peeing on your fucking carpet than you ever had about chopping their nuts off — anyway, he was miserable, even though we were fine with schlepping him around. I think he died of sheer embarrassment, myself. Didn't want to be a burden, you know.
Corkster sounds like a Corker. If there were ever a reason to believe in “g-d” it would be for the miracles of dog. I have a rotten cold. I'm going back to bed and snuggling with my fur pals. Thanks for sharing about Corkster.
I send you virtual chicken soup. Wiv teh feetsies cooked in.
Now I am virtually better. Thanks. Still not virtuous, howsomeever.
I like you better in your virtue-free incarnation anywho. Oooh, the drugs just hit. Nice.
Bon voyage
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