NEW STUDY PROVES IT  4:54 pm December 17, 2011

70% of America ‘Dreading’ 2012 Presidential Campaign

by Wonkette Jr.

I was in the house when the house burned down.Ha ha, here is a fun new study that proves everybody would basically like to trade the 2012 presidential election for, say, a massive asteroid strike: Gallup asked voters how jazzed they were for the Obama-Not Romney campaign year, and people basically started weeping and vomiting, simultaneously, into their phones. “Given a choice, 70% of Americans say they can’t wait for the campaign to be over,” the pollsters said. And what about the rest of the people, are they all on Newt Gingrich’s payroll or something? According to Gallup, “26% can’t wait for it to begin.” Who are these people? Because if the 26% of Americans looking forward to the election could be, perhaps, relocated to Mexico or Ghana or someplace quiet, maybe we could just cancel the election.

From the delightfully headlined Gallup press release, In U.S., Many More Dreading Than Anticipating 2012 Campaign:

Nationally, there is little difference by party in feelings about the upcoming campaign — 67% of Democrats and 66% of Republicans can’t wait for the campaign to be over.

Please don’t let the “third party hopefuls” see this news. Dang, too late.

Gallup surveyed voters in a dozen swing states and found those people are even less excited about the prospects of eleven straight months of endless idiotic commercials and mailers and, uh, pollsters calling with dumb questions. In the swing states, a full 76% of those asked said they can’t wait for all this to end. [Gallup via Liz Colville]

 
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{ 281 comments }

Barb December 17, 2011 at 4:56 pm

70% of Americans, 100% of the GOP dreads it. The Tea Party thinks the rapture will arrive first.

weejee December 17, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Barb, a Tea Party rupture might come before the rapture with a spate of potential third railers like Palin, Bachmann, Paul, Santorum, et al and then Hopey moonwalks in for a second term.

flamingpdog December 17, 2011 at 11:29 pm

Pfft, I'm pretty sure Karl Rove has enough dirt on all of those losers to ensure that none of them hamper the Mittster in his drive to the Presiduncey.

PuckStopsHere December 17, 2011 at 4:57 pm

76% of those asked said they can’t wait for all this to end.

So, basically, most of the country feels the way Mrs. Puck feels when I am having the sex with her.

Buckminster December 17, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Or the guy who claims he had sex with Rick Perry.

user-of-owls December 17, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Hey, didn't I see you back on the Low-Intensity Marriage thread?

BelleSC December 17, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Beige. We can paint the bedroom beige.
(What a married woman is thinking during sex)

rocktonsam December 17, 2011 at 8:32 pm

is Mrs. Puck spry?

PuckStopsHere December 17, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Yes, yes she is. And catlike quick, too. All in all it is, I would say, a fair fight.

Bonghits4Jesus December 18, 2011 at 3:10 am

"the sex"? So was this a once in a lifetime event?

Veritas78 December 18, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Just ask if she would prefer that you dispense it elsewhere. That usually perks their curiosity.

(However, if she says "Yes," have her sign something.)

memzilla December 17, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Is it too early to ask the UN to step in and monitor this election?

Stock tip: put on a spread: long Diebold, short Civility.

Callyson December 17, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Civility is still trading? I thought it got delisted after going bankrupt, due to lack of interest by those on Wall Street…

flamingpdog December 17, 2011 at 11:31 pm

It finally lost the Civility War.

Guppy December 18, 2011 at 8:28 am

According to the Teabaggers they already are.

TanzbodenKoenig December 17, 2011 at 5:00 pm

I don't know what they're looking forward to. When this ridiculous circle-jerk finally comes to an end they'll just find another kabuki circus to distract their useless and absurdly vocal idiot base and us normal folk will still have no relief.

DemonicRage December 19, 2011 at 6:47 am

Totally. Like Brittany Spears will shave her head and for months we'll read about nothing else.

not that Dewey December 17, 2011 at 5:03 pm

“26% can’t wait for it to begin.”

Apparently, 26% of Americans have an undiagnosed traumatic brain injury and/or are imprisoned in a dungeon with no access to a television.

memzilla December 17, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Oddly enough, 26% is the same as GW Shrub's popularity rating was.

We really have to track down these people, put 'em in the black helicopters, and send 'em off to the UN re-education camps.

GunToting[Redacted] December 17, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Fuck that. Just drop them into the nearest active volcano.

memzilla December 17, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Sshhhh! It's not an active volcano, it's the Kilauea Hilton.

comrad_darkness December 17, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Shit! I have reservations there.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 17, 2011 at 7:19 pm

You think maybe Xenu had the right idea all along?

HedonismBot December 17, 2011 at 6:12 pm

We can haz death panels?

Buckminster December 17, 2011 at 6:29 pm

26% of Americans have no idea what the three branches of government are, do not know that there is a difference between the state legislature and the U.S. legislature and do not know that the moon revolves around the earth. So this statistic surprises you?

Biel_ze_Bubba December 17, 2011 at 7:33 pm

I just assumed that 26% of Americans have a particularly wicked sense of humor, and are waiting for the spectacle of one of the GOPtard candidates emerging from right-wing fantasy land and staring, with blinking eyes, at reality. Think of Mitt at the table with the gay couple, but multiplied a thousandfold.

not that Dewey December 17, 2011 at 9:06 pm

I guess you're right. These are NASCAR fans we're talking about, so their sense of what is worthy of anticipation is questionable. HERE COMES LAP # 367! WOO HOO!

user-of-owls December 17, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Apparently, 26% of Americans have an undiagnosed traumatic brain injury and/or are imprisoned in a dungeon with no access to a television.

No "and", just "or."

The former are the people who agree with Fox News, while the latter are those who disagree with it.

not that Dewey December 18, 2011 at 3:39 pm

The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

The axiomatic that renders all such polls beyond worthless is that only 45% of eligible people vote, anyway. So knowing that N% of the eligible population views the fermentation products of Chuck Todd one way, and that (100 – N)% feel another way, only informs us that Chuck Todd's effluvium tastes different to different people. How this relates to votes, only Our Experts can say…

What happens to a modern democracy, in general, when the gatekeepers of political insight are coprophagic robots?

FlyOverGirl December 17, 2011 at 8:24 pm

26%. How many are on OFA's payroll?

not that Dewey December 17, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Even they must be feeling a certain amount of dread about it. Like the census workers who had to venture into the yards of survivalists and teabaggers, knowing they might be shot.

Biff December 18, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Jesus, you just reminded me that, at the tender age of 23, I bounced my unhelmeted head off a fire hydrant after a deathslide caused by my motorcycle's loss of traction due to sand on the roadway. There's an excuse for the last 36 years, hooray!

not that Dewey December 18, 2011 at 1:50 pm

A little brain damage goes a long way. cf: my "acid years".

neiltheblaze December 17, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Not me. I held my vomit till I made it to the bathroom.

Grief_Lessons December 17, 2011 at 5:09 pm

I can't wait until it's all over so I can ask the immortal question: "Where is that marvelous ape?"

Negropolis December 17, 2011 at 10:44 pm

I heard he's living in suburban Dallas, these days.

SpiderCrab December 17, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Just wait. As soon as you discover the attractive candidate the hedge fund managers are grooming for the peonage, you'll embrace the campaign with open arms.

hagajim December 17, 2011 at 5:19 pm

I can't believe their heads didn't spin around while they were projectile vomiting. This has all the makings of a campaign that needs an exorcism.

drpaul2012 December 17, 2011 at 5:23 pm

70% of Mayans dreading end of world.

user-of-owls December 17, 2011 at 7:43 pm

70% of Gringos wishing for it.

Sharkey December 17, 2011 at 5:29 pm

So this would be a good opportunity to mention that I invented a time machine and I know what'll happen in Nov 2012. I can tell you for, ehhh, $50M or so? That should cover expenses.

Dudleydidwrong December 17, 2011 at 5:29 pm

But it's the old, old American story: any one who wishes to be president of the US should be automatically disqualified on the basis of mental deficiencies and moral turpitude. Let's throw in this hand, dealt in 1789, and ask for a new deck and a re-deal.

Spurning Beer December 17, 2011 at 7:20 pm

This could be apocryphal, but supposedly at one point, in order to become Pope, you had to swear you didn't want to be Pope.

I guess that was intended as an anti-corruption strategy, but it seems to me like it would just promote lying. And see where it got us.

That really isn't so different, I guess, from the campaign cliches about business-as-usual and sweeping out the crooks and so forth.

[Incidentally, DDW, last month I reviewed a Social Security disability claim that had medical records from a VA clincian named -- no shit -- Dudley B. Wright.]

user-of-owls December 17, 2011 at 7:33 pm

[Incidentally, DDW...

You celebrate Digestive Disease Week too?! Cool!

Dudleydidwrong December 17, 2011 at 7:57 pm

'Tweren't me, although this never-ending election season may give me good reason to see the aptly-named clinician. Wonder if he has one of those gizmos (like in Men in Black) that deletes all memories of things you don't want to remember? This election may be one of those.

As I recall my history of the papacy it is a matter of setting out to prove that the candidate is NOT eligible, and if he can't be proven unfit then he is presumed fit for the job. That's different from our presidential campaigns where we discover that our candidates are totally unfit for anything except chasing their own tails (or some other tail) and elect them anyway.

Biff December 18, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Not that it matters, because not calf lick, but I don't want to be Pope either.

Spurning Beer December 18, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Dude, slow down and think about it — fancy red loafers, two-foot-tall brocade hats, and hot and cold running altar boy tail!

Joshua Norton December 17, 2011 at 5:35 pm

NEEDZ MOAR TEBOW!!!!!

Callyson December 17, 2011 at 5:37 pm

The greatest differences in feelings toward the campaign are by age. Senior citizens, who have seen more presidential elections than younger Americans, are least likely to be looking forward to the campaign, with 16% saying they can't wait for it to begin. That compares with 27% or more of those in each of the younger age groups.
Those poor youngsters have no idea what's coming…

LetUsBray December 17, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Why should anyone be eager for this hideous farce to be over? The second it is, we'll immediately be told everything now revolves around positioning for the 2014 mid-term elections. Thank you, Scalito Corporate Court and Citizens United Next Tuesday.

yyyaz December 17, 2011 at 8:31 pm

I seen wutchu did there…

KenLayIsAlive December 17, 2011 at 5:43 pm

How much are they expecting to spend this year, totally? $3B? What an incredible travesty.

Anyway, if the first 50 hours of GOP debates were just the warm up for the coming shit show… kill me now.

I honestly hope the GOP picks a really good wacko so at least it is interesting. Obama-Romney debates are just going to be about which one of these completely malleable pretenders can pretend to care more about jobs while secretly giving the bankers a handjob. Booooring.

"Elections are people too, my friend."

Pres.Libunatic December 17, 2011 at 8:06 pm

I srsly think it's going to be Mitt, because the Rethugs are good at nominating people when it's Their Turn, regardless of whether or not they're electable, and it's Mitt's Turn. See, e.g., Bob Dole '96. This is not to say that Dems aren't good at nominating unelectable candidates. See, e.g., Dukakis/Tank '88.

God, 2012 is going to be craptastic. Can we haz rapture nao plox?

KenLayIsAlive December 17, 2011 at 9:11 pm

They do do that, but I think they smell blood in the water now. That's why they are giving each of these clowns a shot at the lead to see who can take the heat. I think too that the establishment is facing a real mini-revolt from the tea party. So good to see the crazy-ass wing nut tail wagging the conservative business-oriented GOP dog. I do hope these cynical fuck wads are enjoying their racist political Frankenstein monster. But Romeny will win. Hell, if they'll cheat on a national election with people actually watching, why wouldn't the establishment rig their own primaries? It is hilarious to see how thin their fucking bench is. Santorum? Bachmann? God lord. Nary a sane one in the bunch.

As for the election, I don't even know what to think. At this point though, if you took the parties out of the equation (which, obviously, you can't) and knowing what we know about Hopey now…. I have trouble distinguishing the differences between Mittens and Barry. Which is not to say I'm confused about who I'd be voting for.

Jukesgrrl December 17, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Barry's the one who WISHES his underwear was magic.

horsedreamer_1 December 18, 2011 at 3:26 am

Idea: dump Biden, replace on ticket with Sisqo.

LetUsBray December 18, 2011 at 1:27 am

The dreadful question you raise is, Whose Turn will it be in '16? Neut? Frothy Mix?

Pragmatist2 December 17, 2011 at 5:44 pm

WTF is wrong with the other 30%???
Probably meth.

snackypants December 17, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Or they don't vote?

MrFizzy December 17, 2011 at 5:51 pm

What's not to like? It's like a massive car wreck with all Republicans.

weejee December 17, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Sounds like America is up for some serious group bungee jumping sans the bungees.

V572 the Merciless December 17, 2011 at 9:37 pm

"Hey, watch this!"

Biff December 18, 2011 at 12:31 pm

"Hold my beer…"

MzNicky December 17, 2011 at 5:55 pm

O/T, but that picture looks like my entry in the Gingerbread House contest.

finallyhappy December 17, 2011 at 10:04 pm

I made a Noah's Ark sort of like that- the canned frosting would not hold the graham crackers together and the animal crackers kept falling off. It was not for a contest- just a Sunday School activity(I was the activity leader- not a kid)

Jukesgrrl December 18, 2011 at 11:09 pm

I made a Parthenon out of styrofoam. Does that count?

Bluestatelibel December 17, 2011 at 6:00 pm

It'll be worth it though on election night to see the Fox News hosts acting like their best friend was killed in a car crash when they have to report that Obama has won (I think it more than likely at this point). It was like a funeral parlor in 2008, it'll be fun to see it again in 2012.

NellCote71 December 17, 2011 at 6:18 pm

But don't you have to actually turn on the Fox News channel to observe this phenomenon?

Bluestatelibel December 17, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Yes, but trust me, it'll be worth it.

FlyOverGirl December 17, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Ya know the fun moment coming Nov 2012? Gretta Van Whoosit, "Well, Alaskakunt as our senior GOP political correspondent, how did this happen … again?"

Pres.Libunatic December 17, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Nothing can beat Karl Rove on Faux Noose tracing out a path to WALNUTS! victory through Ohio, only to be told as he's doing it that AP just called Ohio for Obama… I wish I could find that video on the Intertubes because it was just delicious. Too bad everything since election night 2008 has been a shit sandwich, with various Republican/gay sex scandals here and there to break the monotony…

finallyhappy December 17, 2011 at 10:07 pm

I remember that- but only as a later tape(excellent, it was). I think I was watching Jon Stewart call the election live. .

Sparky_McGruff December 17, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Don't you mean the Fox News hosts shrieking that ACORN and Planned Parenthood stole the election?

Barrelhse December 17, 2011 at 10:49 pm

It would be pleasant if Fox and Friends got killed in car crash.

Negropolis December 17, 2011 at 10:50 pm

Now, this is what I'm talking about. While, I'm not looking forward to the campaign, I am absolutely looking forward to election night. I don't even like Obama all that much, but I so want to see the tea party and their ilk be forced to accept him as president for a second term. They understand nothing but force, but it'll only mean anything if we're able to get back the House.

fuflans December 18, 2011 at 4:36 pm

man i hope all you (relative, for wonkette) optimists are correct. i think i will actually use my canadian citizenship if any one of these fucktards wins.

though i think my very fondest wish is to see tammy duckworth kick joe walsh's teabagging ass back to free-market private sector oblivion.

poorgradstudent December 17, 2011 at 6:01 pm

I'll feel optimistic once I find funding for my plan to put Bernie Sanders' brain in President Obama's body.

poorgradstudent December 17, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Also on the bright side, I'm optimistic about the Wonkette articles to come in 2012! (Up until the land we stand on collapses because the Earth is hollow, as John Cusack and Roland Emmerich predicted).

BarackMyWorld December 17, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Certainly not looking forward to the alternating choruses of "government shouldn't interfere in the economy"/"Obama should have fixed the economy" from the Republicans.

MzNicky December 17, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Fuck them WITH the horses they rode in on.

Fare la Volpe December 18, 2011 at 2:30 pm

They'd like it too much.

johnnyzhivago December 17, 2011 at 6:04 pm

A dictatorship would be so much simpler.

memzilla December 17, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Junta/Junta 2012!

johnnyzhivago December 17, 2011 at 6:36 pm

I gladly offer my services to the nation if they want me to be dictator for life.

johnnyzhivago December 17, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Maybe the Mayans DID know what they were doing!

HedonismBot December 17, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Today I had a thought: democracy just doesn't work.
The thing that scares me most is how un-disappointed in myself I was for even thinking such a thing.

KenLayIsAlive December 17, 2011 at 6:21 pm

I still have faith that democracy works.

It's just too bad we don't live in one.

HedonismBot December 17, 2011 at 6:26 pm

As Thomas Jefferson said, democracy depends upon an informed citizenry.
In other words, we're screwed.

Jukesgrrl December 18, 2011 at 11:14 pm

"GIve a round of applause to our next contestants on Dancing with the Stars, Barack and Michelle!"

MzNicky December 17, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Yes.

It's not democracy that doesn't work. It's the capitalism-run-amok plutocracy that a capitalist democracy has ultimately enabled that's fucking everything up.

Negropolis December 17, 2011 at 10:52 pm

This democracy doesn't work having been taken over by money, utterly. For as disappointing as it's been given the high bars we set for ourself in this country, I'm really kind of glad I don't live in Beijing, where you can practically grab the air.

ManchuCandidate December 17, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Oh boy a 3rd party… at that sweet spot between spineless and bug fuck crazy that doesn't fucking exist.

Banelm December 17, 2011 at 7:29 pm

What if we set up an openly Fascist party, to outflank the Teaparty from the Right?

DahBoner December 18, 2011 at 9:42 am

Uh, great FBI sting idea!

Rotundo_ December 17, 2011 at 6:36 pm

Well, considering the choices and the amount of money, television time and water-cooler time spent it shouldn't come as a great shock. As for the 30%, it must be the horserace types that get all damp in their jammies whenever Chuck Todd or one of the "experts" start going all analytical on things.

Come here a minute December 17, 2011 at 6:36 pm

Shit is fucked up and bullshit.

Fukui_sanYesOta December 17, 2011 at 11:33 pm

That's how shit rolls in the Greatest Country God Ever Gave Earth ( (C) FOX talking head nitwits ).

RadioYKWE December 17, 2011 at 6:49 pm

I'm dreading Christmas.

V572 the Merciless December 17, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Christmas is mix of kitsch and commercialism and "The Little Drummer Boy" and pretending to enjoy the company of people you don't care to see and office parties that everyone thinks they should have but no one wants to attend and mandatory giftations to distant kin about whom you have no ideas as to what they would like or hate and "The Little Drummer Boy" and end-of-the-year stories filed so the reporter can take the week off and gifts you didn't want and gifts the recipient didn't want and forced spending and reporting of department store sales volumes as if they were actually news and rigorous scrutiny of every holiday greeting by wingnuts who think Jeebus wrote the Constitution…

But He's out there somewhere, that Prince of Peace dude. I don't believe in Him but I think the idea is beautiful. Listen to "Unto Us a Child is Born" in the Messiah and you can hear a little sliver of what its about — just a Platonic shadow on the cave wall, but enough.

RadioYKWE December 17, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Ya know V, I like the lights and Vince Guaraldi, and Mrs. Radio's family is fairly lib, so my solstice is usually cool, aside from my snide remark above. Paganism, fuck yeah. But the Made in China, sinful consumerism and worst of all the Kenny G noodle drool makes me anxious and nauseous.

V572 the Merciless December 17, 2011 at 10:47 pm

Cast your fate to the wind, do a little samba de Orpheus, and everything will be okay.

the_problem_child December 17, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Yeah, I hate the "Little Drummer Boy" crap x2 at least.

Barb December 18, 2011 at 2:44 am

Um, V, I caved and put up a Christmas tree. It looks quite yulish.

V572 the Merciless December 18, 2011 at 2:51 am

♪♫Bah-RUMP-uh-bum-BUM! ♪♬

Sassomatic December 17, 2011 at 6:54 pm

I'm looking forward to it. It's been a few years since I was reminded what a bunch of brainless racists most of my relatives are. This election will remind me of that enough that I won't feel bad when they die.

RavenRant December 18, 2011 at 12:35 pm

You are the champion of glass-half-full looking at the bright side!

Monsieur_Grumpe December 17, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Let's settle this whole election thing fast with a game of hoops over the holidays.

rocktonsam December 17, 2011 at 8:19 pm

noooooooooo, golf and beer settles everything!

Jukesgrrl December 18, 2011 at 11:18 pm

Hoops, golf — either way, Obama wins, with or without the beer.

Crank_Tango December 17, 2011 at 8:39 pm

Mormon Roundball?

user-of-owls December 17, 2011 at 6:57 pm

“Given a choice…

Geez, can't we just give the Nader business a rest already?

Spurning Beer December 17, 2011 at 7:31 pm

So you're not pro-choice, then?

Or just not pro-self-indulgent oblivious narcissism?

user-of-owls December 17, 2011 at 7:42 pm

I blame you for this. Before your reincarnation, no one was talking about "dreading."

Spurning Beer December 17, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Dreads are just whole-head payes. I think Matisyahu said that.

70% oy vey
26% Irie
4% feh

user-of-owls December 17, 2011 at 10:46 pm

4% feh

So, a lox on both your houses?

not that Dewey December 17, 2011 at 9:03 pm

We haven't even hit the nadir business yet.

RadioYKWE December 17, 2011 at 9:31 pm

Aha, the clown car is actually a roller-coaster car.

user-of-owls December 17, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Fortunately, though, we seem to be well over the Nadine business.

orygoon December 17, 2011 at 7:04 pm

What I am hoping for? (And in the most depressed way ever.) That Obama will shine up and do what he is apparently best at–campaigning. I don't think he's been a very good president–he doesn't outsmart and outmaneuver the bad guys. He didn't hold on to the people's hearts that he won Back When. He's no FDR and he's not even anything like a Bill Clinton. He's been a steaming pot of mediocre. BUT I hope he wins, handily, any way he can, even if *I* can't stand to watch. That he wins.

And then I can hope that his second act will be better played.

Spurning Beer December 17, 2011 at 7:48 pm

I always come back to these two thoughts:

1. I really wish Barack's faith in the power of good will and tolerance to overcome nasty cynical hostility eventually, if you just resist the powerful impulse to get down on their level, were borne out.

2. If Barack had come on strong against the forces of Holy Conservatism, a diarrhea-storm of murderous racism would have been unleashed on the country. Look at the distilled hate that health care reform (from a black president) stirred up. I honestly think he has been mindful of the very limited appetite America has for black people. Seriously, three years ago, only 45% of white Americans could bring themselves to vote for a brilliant Harvard Law Review editor constitutional lawyer who is only half black, and was raised by white people. That's a homeopathic dose of blackness, and at least a quarter of the American public is still dry-heaving about it. Another quarter is merely uncomfortable.

Okay, I feel better now. Thanks, y'all.

Nothingisamiss December 17, 2011 at 8:18 pm

SB, I think I used to believe that he didn't come against shit heavier and harder because he's been mindful of the limited appetite of the American people, but I don't believe that anymore. The desire of the electorate WAS for change, WAS for healthcare, and, yes, a majority of Americans think higher taxes on the richest is fair. I think there was and is a tremendous appetite for this but he's misread all the signs, and shown us that he's not going to fight very hard for whatever it is that he thinks will be good for Americans.

I'm an Obammer libunatic, and I think we all missed the chance to have some real, substantive changes. I don't see that we'll get this opportunity again soon, but what the hell do I know?

yyyaz December 17, 2011 at 8:58 pm

You called it, with the possible exception of Barry having "misread all the signs." I find it difficult to believe that such a consummate politician would be so myopic. That leaves us with one uncomfortable alternative and another, more optimistic possibility. The former being the rather far-fetched notion that he is a variety of Manchurian puppet; the latter, that having turned his cheek to the Goopers to the point of absurdity, he would have the moral standing to use every means possible during his second term to enact the agenda he campaigned on in '08.

Negropolis December 17, 2011 at 11:04 pm

Your first point, I have to say, is really naive. These are the presidents that fail. Whatever the case is in the lower, everday society, the faith of a president should be in the effectiveness of showing power against an opposition that understands nothing other than the blunt use of power. That's not to say that he should have came out as petty, and overbearing, and personal. What it does mean is that the first time he extended the olive branch and they chose to set it on fire, and he didn't keep debating with them in the same way hoping for a different result. He hasn't been faithful; he's been the definition of insanity in how he's dealt with the GOP.

On your second point, I don't know where you've been, but the hate is there no matter what he does which has kind of been a lot of our criticism all along. You don't play with people who are going to abuse you regardless of what you do or don't do.

I ask this president to do but two things, show the courage of his constituents who are fighting everyday just to stay afloat, and to come to grips with the reality of his disloyal, dishonest, dishonorable, and ill-meaning opposition. They don't want to put their man in the White House so much as they want to get rid of Obama, and they've shown time and time again that they will take America over the cliff to do it. In contrast, liberals hated Bush with the heat of a thousands suns, but if we had tried the shit they did to deny him his policies, I'd have been shocked and disgusted. That's how we're different. He's not dealing with an opposition where faith in their "goodness" will work.

It's time to stop the lie that we're dealing with a party that will be reasoned with; we continue to do so at our constant, soul-crushing peril.

How in the world can he not really start fighting when half of America is either among the poor or working poor? This isn't about him or even his opposition. He needs to get tough for our sake, for the sake of this nation.

Spurning Beer December 17, 2011 at 11:48 pm

N'opolis, I don't think we are disagreeing, and I don't think I'm naive.

I wish the world were the way that I suspect Barack thinks it is. But I don't think that it is.

Conservatives are detestable, craven vermin. I hate them like I hate searing gas pains. I hate them like I hate brain cancer. Contempt is too good for them. I want them waterboarded, bullwhipped, and crucified.

And I resent that they drag me into being hateful like them. Cunts.

Nothingisamiss December 17, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Really. I think you've eloquently stated what I believe. I wish we had some fire instead of ice, but I'm going to need medical care before I die (hopefully a long while from now) and I sure as hell will eventually need social security. I'm not stupid enought to believe that either program (particularly health care) will last with "block grants to the states" and the insanely poor decisions of my GA congressional assholes. Don't get me started on my disappointment over gitmo, privacy rights and permanent detention. That shit makes it hard to sleep.

Schmannnity December 17, 2011 at 7:05 pm

I'm looking forward to looking back. Besides, this will probably be the last free election before the military is deployed for domestic terrorism control. See you at the detention/concentration center!

Rotundo_ December 17, 2011 at 7:28 pm

You mean the Fox News/Bank of America Re-Education complex and hog Confined Area Feeding Operation. I hear the lake glows a gentle green at night and the fumes aren't lethal unless the wind is out of the south west…

Jukesgrrl December 18, 2011 at 11:22 pm

I just hope we can volunteer for the Death Panel and don't have to wait for someone else to decide.

ShitFilledExistence December 17, 2011 at 7:18 pm

80% of people 65 and up probably can't wait for life to be over.

finallyhappy December 17, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Hopefully, you are young- since 65 is not very old(to me)

ShitFilledExistence December 17, 2011 at 11:27 pm

Oh, c'mon… Next year I'll be 40. 65 is definitely not old (my parents are in their sixties). I guess I was referring to crotchety old cottontops, the stereotypical 'senior citizens' we all know and love, which unfortunately are lumped in with the '65 plus' demographic in this poll.

/ ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
My cat just decided to walk across my keyboard. New nickname: 'Bracket'.

ShaveTheWhales December 18, 2011 at 12:53 am

Well, I'm 64, so I guess I'm in the "20%".

ShitFilledExistence December 18, 2011 at 3:27 am

Seriously–didn't mean to rain on the Boomers Parade. I was referring to the ridiculous poll. Everything's still about you! Nothing's changed! You have your health! You're not old, etc.! Beatles!

DahBoner December 18, 2011 at 9:40 am

Depends

Jukesgrrl December 18, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Au contraire, mon ami. You must not know many old people. I'm surrounded by the 80+ crowd and I never dreamed such a bunch of old ladies with nothing else to do except watch TV, read books, do crossword puzzles, and wait for visits from their middle-aged children could cling so tenaciously to life.

Even when they've had their car keys wrested away by conniving relatives, they schedule doctors appointments multiple days a week and undergo any procedure or take any medicine that they are told will make them live longer. My 85-yr-old mother — who has 11 doctors — is having her hips replaced and is OUTRAGED that she has to pay some co-pays since it's considered elective surgery. "They can't expect me to live this way, Medicare should pay for this!" Your tax dollars at work, folks. I'm all in favor of universal health care but there have to be limits but these old ladies aren't down with that.

My S-I-L's 95-yr-old mother told her doctor recently, "Young man, you take this pain away or I'll get a doctor who will!" When he gently told her someone her age should expect some failings she said, "I expect you to do your job and make me feel the way I used to feel." She was serious, too.

ttommyunger December 17, 2011 at 8:02 pm

Not reported was the interesting factoid that if 75% of Respondents were laid end to end, then at least 3/4 of them would be more comfortable, also, too… I say that to say this: these numbers are generated by people who 1-Still have a land-line. 2-Actually answer a call from an unfamiliar or unlisted 800 number. 3-Are sitting on their nuts / blotting their snatches at home with nothing better to do than talk to some dickwad telephone twerp. 4-Obviously have no fucking life whatsoever and an intellect to match. Now THERE'S a representative sample; of what I have no fucking idea.

the_problem_child December 17, 2011 at 11:11 pm

Americuh?

ttommyunger December 18, 2011 at 1:47 pm

OUCH!

ShaveTheWhales December 18, 2011 at 1:03 am

I actually got robocalled by a Rasmussen poll a week or so ago, and I went ahead and pushed the buttons. The questions were only slightly biased.

But what that reminded me of was the fact that in the two and a half years I've been living up here in the Sierra foothills (in a definitely red Congressional district), I've received 5 or 6 telephone poll solicitations. In the previous thirty-seven years when I lived in either Marin or Santa Clara counties (notoriously blue areas), I received exactly ZERO telephone poll solicitations.

Now, I know enough statistics not to make too much out of this. And it's also true that during the 37 years there were probably a lot of evenings I wasn't home to answer the call, but there still seems to me to be a question about proportional representation in the poll sample.

johnnyzhivago December 18, 2011 at 8:47 am

I love getting polled (at least twice in the past 2 years). I always answer as an ultra left wing Republican to throw their numbers off.

DahBoner December 18, 2011 at 9:38 am

Legend has it…

ttommyunger December 18, 2011 at 1:50 pm

I doubt if anyone with any sense puts too much stock in polls. BTW, speaking of Marin, I graduated from the very first graduating class from the very first Novato H. S. I understand there are three or four now….It was l959.

ShaveTheWhales December 19, 2011 at 2:46 am

No shit? In '75 – '77 I lived on Wallace Court, which was about two blocks from Novato HS. There was another one (the name escapes me) on the north end of town, but I'm sure there are more now. While I was there, Novato was going through the Cali-redneck to hipster transition (before the hipster-to-vanilla transition). I really liked the place at the time.

ttommyunger December 19, 2011 at 5:24 am

We rented at 2186 Novato Boulevard before buying at 23 Marion Court. Dad was an AF Chaplain at Hamilton. He bought Marion for $17,500 in l957, kept it and rented it out over the next twenty years, added a bath or two, owner financed when he finally sold it. Made his first Million on that house, believe it or not. Dad was good with money. I was defensive end for NHS. We had no field, no stadium, practiced on dirt. Went undefeated until Analy kicked our ass in my Senior year, 1959.

mavenmaven December 17, 2011 at 8:02 pm

90% of reporters, pundits, and comedy writers would like this particular election to go on forever.

OneDollarJuana December 17, 2011 at 8:39 pm

Hasn't it?

Dudleydidwrong December 17, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Someone quoted David (I know everything) Brooks as having said that he was hoping that Jeb Bush would enter the race. Now if that doesn't give us reason to have rampant diarrhea I don't know what will. The only true antipodal points for the US are some islands in the Indian ocean, one of them being the Kerguelen Islands. Wonder if they need a brewer? Whatever they're like they are as far from a third Bush presidency as we can get, and that may not be far enough.

BarackMyWorld December 17, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Is even Brooks that stupid?

"We Republicans aren't just proposing the same policies that got us into this recession, but here's the brother of the guy who was president when it started!"

Sheesh.

OneDollarJuana December 17, 2011 at 8:41 pm

"Is even Brooks that stupid? "

Your question answers itself.

BarackMyWorld December 17, 2011 at 8:46 pm
V572 the Merciless December 17, 2011 at 9:47 pm

This is RW wish-fulfillment-dreaming, like the Huntsman Hope that he'll kick ass in New Hampshire because the media love him so. Neither one will happen.

flamingpdog December 17, 2011 at 11:54 pm

He's the candidate I'd like to throw a beer bottle at.

LetUsBray December 18, 2011 at 1:09 am

Or a shoe.

DahBoner December 18, 2011 at 9:36 am

Shock and awe!

horsedreamer_1 December 18, 2011 at 3:33 am

Applebee's has a salad bar?

johnnyzhivago December 18, 2011 at 8:48 am

Third time is the charm!

Dudleydidwrong December 18, 2011 at 9:50 am

Charm? Jeb? Yeah, the charm of a stomach pump.

It's more like (attributed to) Marx:
George H W Bush: history
George W: tragedy
Jeb: farce

donner_froh December 17, 2011 at 8:43 pm

By its own account, the group is driven by civic-minded citizens

Civic minded citizens. In Chicago we call them Goo-Goos because they say they are in favor of Good Government. They are a tiresome bunch.

BarackMyWorld December 17, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Any third party campaign based on the premise that you need a "centrist" and Obama is "too liberal" and hasn't been "willing to compromise" is not only entitled to fail miserably, but be laughed out of existence.

V572 the Merciless December 17, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Among the good things about living in Colly-forn-ya is that it is so outrageously blue a state that there is no advertising for the presidential campaign, praise the baby Jeebus.

Jukesgrrl December 17, 2011 at 10:43 pm

Advertise that fact widely. It may bring you an influx of new taxpayers.

BarackMyWorld December 17, 2011 at 11:10 pm

I live in a state that was won with less than 4000 votes in 2008. Meanwhile, we have a U.S. Senator up for re-election, a governor up for re-election, plus I live in a media market that includes all or part of 5 congressional districts. Basically we're looking at wall-to-wall campaign commercials for at least 3 solid months.

I'll be ready to kill someone by November.

V572 the Merciless December 18, 2011 at 1:10 am

Lived in notorious swing state Colorado for many years and know what you mean. Even the classical music radio station was polluted with “Yes on 17!” and “Vote Quimby!” ads until you wanted to just go Blank, like those guys in “Max Headroom.”

flamingpdog December 18, 2011 at 1:26 am

I still live in Colorado and I stopped watching TV in 2008, just for that reason.

DahBoner December 18, 2011 at 9:34 am

I was killed in a freak boating accident in the bay next to Denver in 2007…

Negropolis December 18, 2011 at 8:33 pm

Aren't you glad you're not really a swing state, anymore? Not that it can't change parties at the state level, but it kind of reminds me of where Michigan was in the late 80's/early 90's when it finally gave up on the national Republican Party, that had become so crazy that enough independents here started voting Democratic at the presidential level to make it a solidly blue state.

V572 the Merciless December 18, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Mostly I’m glad I’m not in a place with snow anymore. Rural California is as rednecky as rural Anystate, maybe even the UP, but more sparsely populated on account of it’s a godforsaken desert.

Negropolis December 17, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Guess what? You don't have to like politicians. You don't even have to be as excited as you are for elections as you are about registering your vehicle, every year, if you have one. Someone gets elected, regardless. So, all of this incessant bitchy about how everyone has the sadz doesn't mean anything, either. So, let's keep trying to discourage everyone.

Not sure what it is, tonight, but I just don't care for this kind of dull clubbing over the head everyday for what seems to be weeks on end. This election will be no less exciting than 2000 or 2004, yet we're constantly being told that this is the least consequential election ever. Bullshit. The tea party needs to get their fucking noses put in it, next year.

the_problem_child December 17, 2011 at 11:02 pm

I know what you mean. No point encouraging people to pretend to forget to vote.

Negropolis December 18, 2011 at 8:30 pm

The whole mood and underlying drum beat, here, has been that the coming election won't mean anything, that voting really isn't that important. But, it's also been a kind of mixed message in that another recent post comes down hard on voting third party. I think we need to find a better balance in how we portray this thing. It's been a dull rubbing out of anyone's motivation to participate, quite frankly, and this is just an subtle attempt couched in the idea that we're only discouraging the campaign part of the election.

Jukesgrrl December 17, 2011 at 10:41 pm

I'll vote for the first person who proposes that the $3 billion should be divided by 311 million and shared equally by everyone who isn't an heir of Sam Walton.

not that Dewey December 18, 2011 at 12:28 am

We're all gonna be rich!

ShaveTheWhales December 18, 2011 at 1:06 am

Well, we'll all have ten bucks.

RadioYKWE December 18, 2011 at 1:11 am

Better than the petty bribe payroll tax crap that comes out of Social Security and doesn't touch the most Holy Sacred Sacrament the 3% marginal rate. Praise be to the Bush/Obama tax cuts.

Biff December 18, 2011 at 3:01 pm

And surely our votes are worth that much!

Barrelhse December 17, 2011 at 10:53 pm

H.L. Mencken must be feeling pretty smug right about now.

Fukui_sanYesOta December 17, 2011 at 11:32 pm

Probably drinking hard liquor with Hitch and having a whale of a time.

LetUsBray December 18, 2011 at 1:18 am

Didn't he always?

Spurning Beer December 18, 2011 at 9:51 am

Nobody ever went broke building equity in their home as a retirement strategy?

Nobody ever went broke because their employer laid them off to improve shareholder value and secure a super bonus for the CEO?

Nobody ever went broke because their health insurer found a way of revoking their coverage when they got severely ill?

datateday December 17, 2011 at 11:38 pm

"According to Gallup, “26% can’t wait for it to begin.” Who are these people?"

I'm one of these people. In 2004 my guy, John Kerry lost to George W. Bush, so that wasn't fun. 2008 went by too fast for me I felt, and I knew this nation wasn't going to get any such Hope, Change, or Unity (I saw Obama more as a con-man, making promises and using flowery language to fool the gullible masses) so this will be a third chance to make up for it.

Although, as with the Iowa Caucuses being in early 2008, I took a vacation from politics for like a month in December 2007. I'm doing that again, this year, so I'm not going to read political websites like Wonkette until January 2nd, so I can actually enjoy the holidays and remember the more important things in life. So good luck, 66 – 70 percent of you bitters out there. I'm taking a well needed breack. Later, all.

Barrelhse December 17, 2011 at 11:59 pm

Ciao.

RadioYKWE December 18, 2011 at 1:14 am

C U Next Time.

Antispandex December 17, 2011 at 11:41 pm

In another poll, 40 percent of voters will select a candidate based on the wardrobe of their spouse.

BarackMyWorld December 18, 2011 at 12:00 am

9 out of 10 people think the tenth guy is an idiot.

flamingpdog December 18, 2011 at 12:01 am

Something's really wrong here, folks. I keep adding up the polling figures and I keep getting 100%!! What happened to the other 79 percent??

RadioYKWE December 18, 2011 at 1:15 am

It's the newt math.

DaRooster December 18, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Definitely not a Fox statistic.

flamingpdog December 18, 2011 at 12:15 am

OT, but getting back to the Newtster's child labor proposal, I think I could get behind the idea of using children as surrogate shoppers.

Jukesgrrl December 18, 2011 at 7:33 pm

And may I have one to put up my mother's Christmas tree for her? I HATE THAT JOB.

BarackMyWorld December 18, 2011 at 12:30 am

Here's something that might cheer a few of you up…

Things most pundits need to consider but probably won't:
(1) Unemployment rate is only .8% higher than it was when Obama took office, and it is currently moving downwards (combine this information with the knowledge that Ronald Reagan won a landslide re-election in 1984 with a 7.2% unemployment rate). Even if unemployment stays over 8%, the public knows its on its way down, and more people blame the Republicans for the economy than blame Obama.
(2) Obama, unlike Ford in '76, Carter in '80, or Bush in '92, has a list of domestic accomplishments he can use in campaign commercials to try and get people to feel better about him.
(3) Romney isn't likely to be able to energize his base, or get independent voters to trust him. Widespread Republican dislike for Romney will probably lead to lower voter turn-out among people who normally vote Republican. Romney's attempts to reconcile his past accomplishments with his conservative rhetoric will make independent voters skeptical. Skepticism about the challenger is a HUGE advantage for any incumbent.

Neilist_Returns December 18, 2011 at 12:46 am

Well, yes, all that is true. But then,. Obama is . . . well . . .::how to put this politely?::: . . .a . . . :::Cough::: . . . .Negro.

Negropolis December 18, 2011 at 8:23 pm

And, honestly, that alone makes the entire race unpredictable. This isn't like in 2008 where people felt that they better not blow the chance to elect America's first openly "other" president. 2012 gives these subversively racist folks the perfect chance to vote their twisted consciences, helped by the fact that the "Magical Nergo" didn't wave his magic wand and have us growing at 10% annual GDP growth. They'll feel totally justified in not voting for him, and even more than that, working and actively voting against him.

memzilla December 18, 2011 at 1:21 am

I just had a wonderful vision of an unformed agglomeration of super-accelerated teatardino particles spinning faster and faster and faster until they formed a critical mass and exploded into a supernova of bigotry and mutual vilification, which then annihilated itself and left behind only a fading N-ray signature and a smallish lump of superdense santorumium.

flamingpdog December 18, 2011 at 1:31 am

I could use the name and cell phone # of your "pharmacist", thank you.

memzilla December 18, 2011 at 1:40 am

Carlos Castaneda: YAqui 5-1968.

BarackMyWorld December 18, 2011 at 1:40 am

I really hope you get a chance to use that story in real life, instead of just as a reply to my boring-ass comment.

HedonismBot December 18, 2011 at 10:47 am

And Gingrich has more dirty laundry than an off-campus frat house.

Neilist_Returns December 18, 2011 at 12:43 am

You Communist Pinko Liberal SKum really appall me this time.

No Weekend Memorial Posting to the Dear Departed Christopher Hickens?

I was expecting some sort of Gotterdammerung Viking Funeral Pyre Wonkette Style.

You know, wrap the decomposing body in a shroud made up of scotch-taped remainder table copies of "Why Orwell Matters"; throw the package into a leaky rowboat, douse the whole thing in several gallons of cheap gin, and then flip a smoldering Salem Menthol butt on top just before you push the sinking mess out into the drink, while a transvestite Celine Dion impersonator warbles a medley of airs from "Titanic: . . . .

:::Sniff::::

Only the GOOD die YOUNG!

[I mean, Hitch gave Pompous Asshole lessons to Newt. Can't you show some RESPECT?]

memzilla December 18, 2011 at 1:05 am

I liked Hitchens up until his last decade. But aren't there enough dead super-literate alcoholic ex-Trotskyites in the world, that this one merits special attention?

Go easy, Christopher. At least you didn't die from a 7.62mm ice axe in the head.

RadioYKWE December 18, 2011 at 2:09 am

Sad story that Trotsky. But what struck me is that he was just the small head of an abscess that Stalin would brutally incise and drain. The 8-9 million souls who died under the paranoid fear of Trotskyism — more people in just one purge than the whole Holocaust. And our "ally" in WW1.5, Uncle Joe, who just as quickly, 180º in five years, would be the Osama Bin Laden of Cold War fame.
Where's the smarter than thou, historian of the clown car, Newtie, on these subtleties?

ShaveTheWhales December 18, 2011 at 1:19 am

Um, did you miss the Hitch Memorial Thread? 'Cause this would have worked better over there, to the extent that it works at all.

I didn't much care for Hitchens, despite his undeniable brilliance, but there are quite a few people who did, and some of them expressed that. And now he's worm food (or ashes with lumps in). Life goes on, and his words go on in the minds of his readers.

BTW, are you really the original Neilist? Because if you are, you're really off your game on some your comments.

memzilla December 18, 2011 at 1:30 am

You can only reload your spent brass so many times before it deforms.

V572 the Merciless December 18, 2011 at 2:54 am

Original Neilist was vicious; this one, less of both.

Neilist_Returns December 18, 2011 at 12:22 pm

All I can say is that (1) Benazir Bhutto is Still DEAD; and (2) You people are still . . . well . . . why belabor the latter point.

But I really appreciate the "vicious" comment. Truly, I do. It means so much coming from you people.

V572 the Merciless December 18, 2011 at 1:05 pm

What's lacking is the ordnance detail. What exact piece of weaponry took out Bhutto?

poorgradstudent December 18, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Glad to see someone else doesn't get it. I mean, putting aside his screwed up views on the Middle East, the guy wrote a column about how women are inherently unfunny. That seems like the kind of thing that would make even the Knights of Columbus uncomfortable.

People act as if he was the second coming of Dorothy Parker, but to me he just came across as a somewhat smarter Bill Maher with Norman Mailer's masculinity issues thrown into the mix.

Neilist_Returns December 19, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Norman Mailer never admitted to being buggered in a public school.

(To my knowledge, anyway.)

Would that the same could be said about most of the "men" in here . . . .

Bluestatelibel December 18, 2011 at 9:09 am

Need to throw in a reading of Dubya's Mission Accomplished speech too.

DahBoner December 18, 2011 at 9:06 am

The only dread I'm looking forward to is Bobby McFarin in dreadlocks performing his hit from the 80's…

x111e7thst December 18, 2011 at 9:39 am

Soon only the Koch brothers will still be in this game. All the rest of us will have somehow managed to scrape together enough Oxycontin and cheap vodka to stay passed out for the duration.

LiveToServeYa December 18, 2011 at 9:47 am

I dunno. I'm quite looking forward to an Obama-Gingrich debate. A belly laugh does you good.

chascates December 18, 2011 at 10:03 am

“26% can’t wait for it to begin" because they're convinced if Bachmann or Santorum is elected their long-awaited Rapture will be just around the corner!

forgracie December 18, 2011 at 10:20 am

Alt-text Zevon tribute for the win…. I miss him and his doctor.

weejee December 18, 2011 at 11:26 am

Zevon/Zappa 2012

DaRooster December 18, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Guess what…
The fifth dentist caved… and now they all recommend Trident.

I am sure the final 27% will give in and anxiously await the end… unless that amount of people are the ones still "alive(?)" in the Repugnant race.

Mahousu December 18, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Fukui_sanYesOta December 18, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Well, it at least makes a bit of a change.

Naturally, she's married and a "family values" Republican.

Rotundo_ December 18, 2011 at 5:52 pm

*All* Republicans are "Family Values" republicans, even Newt! is one. They bought the trademark back in the 80's with Reagan and have been pushing it ever since. Nevermind the fact that just like any group of people in a position of authority, they will abuse it and feel themselves above it all from time to time. They are the best hypocritical lying sacks of pigshit on the planet, but very pro life (but pro death penalty) and very pro family (despite driving most of us into poverty or near poverty). We just have to realize all their sermonizing is for *us* not them.

user-of-owls December 18, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Je je je, Tebow, where's your god now?

Jukesgrrl December 18, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Jesus likes Zoolander better.

Chichikovovich December 18, 2011 at 8:01 pm

Dear Tim:
You know on those last desperate drives, when you had 4 minutes, a time out and the two minute warning to get three scores? And you rose to the occasion by closing out with 5 incompletions, two sacks (including one for – 28 yards (snicker)) and a five yard rush? God wanted that to happen. It was his way of urging you to reread Matthew 6:5.
Signed:
Your well-wishers at Wonkette.

Negropolis December 18, 2011 at 8:12 pm

OT: Oh, boy. Look where the "War on Christmas" leads to its endgame. In exurban Grand Rapids, Michigan — a hotbed of fundamentalist Christian wingnuttery — some anonymous wingnut is going around telling his or her Christian neighbors that their Christmas light displays are pagan. They are right, but it's funny to see them warring amongst themselves:

Homeowners in Hudsonville, Mich., have been singled out for displaying what an anonymous letter-writer calls "pagan" lights and decorations on their properties.

On Wednesday night, residents of Vintage Drive found a letter attached to their mailboxes suggesting that anyone with Christmas lights or decorations should re-think their beliefs, because Christmas displays honor the "Pagan Sun-God" and do not pertain to the birth of Jesus, according to ABC News affiliate WZZM.

The letters start out on a friendly note, with "Hi Neighbor, you have a nice display of lights." But the self-described "love note" quickly changes tone, explaining how the "pagan tradition" of putting up lights began.

"I laughed because I think it's ridiculous that people would get upset over Christmas lights," said Danette Hoekman, who received the letter.

Besides speaking against holiday lights, the note claimed that the use of mistletoe, wreaths and yule-logs were in no way representative of Christmas.

Those who received the letters said they do not know who wrote them.

"It's a sin to judge other people and to tell people that if they have Christmas lights they are pagans. We're not pagans, we go to church regularly, my kids go to the Christian school," Hoekman said. "I think next year we should put on a huge display!"

Of course, the nuts in the comments section have convinced themselves that this was done by some snarky aetheist, but if you know the area, you absolutely know that it's some mad-as-hell fundamentalist.

Doktor Zoom December 18, 2011 at 9:49 pm

Keep Saturn in Saturnalia!

johnnyzhivago December 18, 2011 at 10:35 pm

I'd like him to see my "Thousand Points of Light" tree in front of the Zhivago bunker….

ShaveTheWhales December 19, 2011 at 12:03 am

God Jul!!

RadioYKWE December 19, 2011 at 1:43 am

Xtians are the most bleak, intellectually devoid, boring people there are. The opposite of lights and rock 'n roll.

Negropolis December 18, 2011 at 8:17 pm

BTW, anyone notice the full court press being waged against Gingrich over the weekend? First, you have the Des Moines Iowa Register endorsement for Romney, and then animated corpse Bob Dole comes out with an endorses him. The GOP is getting very nervous.

Mahousu December 18, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Even Gingrich is coming out against Gingrich – or at least that's how I interpret his latest bit about how U.S. Marshals should be sent to arrest judges who make decisions he doesn't like. I figure he's decided to say things that are so insane, he'll kill off whatever support he has.

Bluestatelibel December 18, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Yeah, but for the nuts he's been pandering to, saying he'd arrest judges making decisions he doesn't like probably sounds like a great idea to them. He's going to have to try harder.

Doktor Zoom December 18, 2011 at 9:46 pm

If he'd just take it to the next level and promise to do away with Marbury vs Madison, then he'd have a real solution to these activist judges legislating from the bench.

ShaveTheWhales December 19, 2011 at 12:03 am

Bob Dole is still alive? Fuck me.

dadanarchist December 18, 2011 at 9:05 pm

26%, eh? That's eerily close to Kung Fu Monkey's well-supported theory of America's Crazification Factor. I'll let him say it best:

John: Hey, Bush is now at 37% approval. I feel much less like Kevin McCarthy screaming in traffic. But I wonder what his base is —

Tyrone: 27%.

John: … you said that immmediately, and with some authority.

Tyrone: Obama vs. Alan Keyes. Keyes was from out of state, so you can eliminate any established political base; both candidates were black, so you can factor out racism; and Keyes was plainly, obviously, completely crazy. Batshit crazy. Head-trauma crazy. But 27% of the population of Illinois voted for him. They put party identification, personal prejudice, whatever ahead of rational judgement. Hell, even like 5% of Democrats voted for him. That's crazy behaviour. I think you have to assume a 27% Crazification Factor in any population.
http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2005/10/lunch-discus

ShaveTheWhales December 19, 2011 at 12:08 am

Also, too, Shrub's terminal approval rating.

If you live in the United States, one out of every four people you met today is animated by randomly-firing neurons.

imissopus December 18, 2011 at 10:30 pm

OT but the Google reports that Kim Jong Il has gone to that great People's Grain Collective in the sky.

ChernobylSoup December 18, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Huh. I didn't even know he was il.

ChernobylSoup December 18, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Sorry. That was too easy. A man of his stature deserves better.

BarackMyWorld December 18, 2011 at 10:46 pm

ISWYDT.

user-of-owls December 18, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Geez, there are probably North Korean gulag residents that hoard fewer grains of rice than you do of Kim The Lesser jokes.

user-of-owls December 18, 2011 at 10:52 pm

I suppose in a manner of speaking you could call it a great leap forward.

sezme December 18, 2011 at 10:59 pm

So much for the hope of a strong third-party candidate.

Negropolis December 19, 2011 at 12:29 am

He's renditioning angels up in heaven, now. **wipes crocodile tears from eyes**

johnnyzhivago December 18, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Kim Jong Il – "Died of fatigue while on a train ride" – didn't know Amtrak operated in North Korea!

imissopus December 18, 2011 at 10:52 pm

One wonders if Seal Team Six was in the area.

ChernobylSoup December 18, 2011 at 11:06 pm

"Ask Kim Jong Il how I feel about appeasement."

imissopus December 18, 2011 at 11:10 pm

Actually I'm a little surprised – I always assumed he'd go out standing on tiptoe to reach a bag of cookies on the high shelf in his kitchen, lose his balance, fall over and hit his head. Unless…Seal Team Six snuck in and moved those cookies to the high shelf so it would look like an accident. Oh, our commandos are good.

ChernobylSoup December 18, 2011 at 11:53 pm

I'm thinking he was done in by an Elf on the Shelf. One of those things was bound to go rogue eventually.

not that Dewey December 18, 2011 at 11:11 pm

Some dictator. He couldn't even make the trains run on time.

ShaveTheWhales December 19, 2011 at 12:11 am

Is "fatigue" Korean for "syphilis"?

Negropolis December 19, 2011 at 12:32 am

He's here all night, you guys. Try the veal…errr…I mean the free-range organic chicken…errr…the tofu? Being a liberal is hard, y'all.

BarackMyWorld December 18, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Anyone want to start a pool on how long until there's a coup and his son is removed as leader?

I'm thinking within a month.

ShaveTheWhales December 19, 2011 at 12:17 am

Actually, I'm thinking this is what might pass for good news these days. The old dictatorial lineage has gotten pretty fluffy (as always happens), so the military might just intervene. And those guys are likely to be receptive to the blandishments of the ROK, who would be totally happy to make a few dozen generals seriously rich, in real money, if they would cop to some form of reunification.

Negropolis December 19, 2011 at 12:34 am

Forget reunification at this point. They need to be brought up to a development level where they could even be considered for reunification. To drop this current NK on South Korea, right now, would be a disaster. For as bad off as East Germany was, North Korea looks like Afghanistan, at the moment.

ShaveTheWhales December 19, 2011 at 2:21 am

Objectively, you're right. And my connections to the ROK are a few years out of date, and everybody is older these days. But a decade or two ago, there was an awfully strong sentiment in South Korea for reuniting the family.

Negropolis December 19, 2011 at 2:34 am

I'm just saying, can you even imagine the run on Seoul of desperate refugees if they did a full-on reunification?

Anyone familiar with the situation knows if South Korea already has any set and legislature reunification plans for when it happens? It just seems when two people become as different as one another that bringing in NK would absolutely wreck SK socially and economically.

imissopus December 18, 2011 at 11:11 pm

Cue the wingnuts deriding Obama for not taking advantage of this opportunity to invade North Korea and turn it into a flowering democracy in 3…2…1…

Fukui_Jong-un December 18, 2011 at 11:34 pm

Anyone reached Alec Baldwin for comment yet?

chascates December 18, 2011 at 11:41 pm

I'm surprised North Korea didn't claim the CIA assassinated old Kim. Let's hope his son can make as many holes-in-one in a round of 18 holes.

ShaveTheWhales December 19, 2011 at 2:09 am

I'm surprised the CIA didn't claim they assasinated him.

Negropolis December 19, 2011 at 12:42 am

Lil' Kim is dead! Long live Lil' Kim!

Whom shall we make fun of for their bouffant and height, now? I'd rend my clothes in ritualistic anguish and grief if I didn't have so few left to sacrifice to visual drama.

doloras December 19, 2011 at 4:09 am

You can always make fun of KJU's insane 90's flat-top haircut and black collarless suit.

Negropolis December 19, 2011 at 7:54 am

**sniff** I'll try, for snark's sake, but I fear it won't be the same. **sniff**

RadioYKWE December 19, 2011 at 1:50 am

WTF? is this?

ShaveTheWhales December 19, 2011 at 2:09 am

Um, it's a teensie increase in the Medicare tax rate for high-earners. Psst.. we try not to call a lot of attention to it, nudge, nudge.

ShaveTheWhales December 19, 2011 at 3:03 am

You know, I'm not sure that actually made sense, but I'm certainly on board with the holiday spirit you express. Merry Solstice, and may Grover's head be our community shit-log (in exploding Technicolor).

godistwaddle December 19, 2011 at 5:25 am

Should be 99%, since the campaign will lead to the election of someone whored to the 1% anyway.

James Michael Curley December 19, 2011 at 5:48 am

Kim Jong-il?

No, he's dead.

Nopantsmcgee December 19, 2011 at 10:47 am

Ahh, 70% of Americans are pussies. I love the race mostly for the GOP insanity and hilarious lunacy.

Now with netflix being stupid what am I suppose to do after the election? Watch prime-time TV? Have you guys seen prime-time TV?

Give me crazy-eyes and Noot arguing over fannie and freddie anyday.

Nopantsmcgee December 19, 2011 at 10:48 am

In a recent telephone survey, 70% of respondents indicated, that if the election were held today, they'd be surprised.

imissopus December 17, 2011 at 11:20 pm

I'm tired of these Nader shmears

Fukui_sanYesOta December 18, 2011 at 5:16 am

Excellent read. Stockman has now recanted all this trickle-down nonsense as so much baloney and blames, especially, Bush Jr for trashing the economy.

I'm now about to read the 1981 Atlantic article.

However, one shouldn't be so quick to regard Stockman's conversion as a facile variety of "coming to see the light". Dan Moynihan (one of my favourite US politicians) is on record [1985] claiming that neither Stockman nor Reagan ever believed in supply-side and instead figured that running huge deficits was a useful excuse for raping hell out of social programs.

Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan said today that in 1981 David A. Stockman, the Federal budget director, confided to him that President Reagan did not believe in the supply-side economic principles upon which the Administration's tax cut was based. According to Mr. Moynihan, Mr. Stockman said then that the Administration knew tax cuts meant a loss of revenue and it accepted the ensuing rise in the budget deficits as a means of bringing pressure on Congress to cut spending. ''The plan was to have a strategic deficit that would give you an argument for cutting back the programs that weren't desired,'' Mr. Moynihan said at a news conference. ''It got out of control.''

The truth is probably a mix of the two.

Fukui_sanYesOta December 18, 2011 at 6:50 am

OK, I'm done with the Atlantic article, which I'd recommend to anyone. It's long but very interesting, especially since this period of economic policy has such an impact on the Republican thought about such policy today.

Stockman at least has ideological aims when he begins his Washington journey with Reagan. We don't have to agree with them. Reality beats him down.

There were two passages which struck me. The first is the following, about attempting to change the budget from a purely ideological perspective (emphasis mine):


"I now understand," he said, "that you probably can't put together a majority coalition unless you are willing to deal with those marginal interests that will give you the votes needed to win. That's where it is fought—on the margins—and unless you deal with those marginal votes you can't win."

In order to enact Reagan's version of tax reduction, "certain wages" had to be paid, and, as Stockman reasoned, the process of brokering was utterly free of principle or policy objectives. The power flowed to the handful of representatives who could reverse the majority regardless of the interests they represented. Once the Reagan tacticians began making concessions beyond their "policy-based" agenda, it developed that their trades and compromises and giveaways were utterly indistinguishable from the decades of interest-group accommodations that preceded them, which they so righteously denounced. What was new about the Reagan revolution, in which oil-royalty owners win and welfare mothers lose? Was the new philosophy so different from old Republicanism when the federal subsidies for Boeing and Westinghouse and General Electric were protected, while federal subsidies for unemployed black teenagers were "zeroed out"? One could go on, at great length, searching for balance and equity in the outcome of the Reagan program without satisfying the question; the argument will continue as a central theme of electoral politics for the next few years. For now, Stockman would concede this much: that "weak clients" suffered for their weakness.

"Power is contingent," he said. "The power of these client groups turned out to be stronger than I realized. The client groups know how to make themselves heard. The problem is, unorganized groups can't play in this game."

Thank you, Supreme motherfucking Court, for Citizens United. Society be fucked.

The other is the closing paragraph in the piece, voiced by Stockman:

"Whenever there are great strains or changes in the economic system," he explained, "it tends to generate crackpot theories, which then find their way into the legislative channels."

I don't believe this requires comment.

flamingpdog December 18, 2011 at 1:37 pm

That'll learn ya to ever get in a boat with a Colorado Republican on Lake Elway.

Biff December 18, 2011 at 3:15 pm

reagan wasn't capable of that much critical thinking. Any thoughts in his head beyond food, sex and shelter were put there forcibly by his staff and Cabinet.

weejee December 18, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Thanks for these thoughtful posts guys.

ShaveTheWhales December 19, 2011 at 12:00 am

Shorter Stockman: "Honest, we didn't mean to terminally fuck up the country. I think, maybe?"

Evil-but-possibly-repentant motherfucker is evil.

flamingpdog December 19, 2011 at 1:19 am

"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country."
– - Kurt Vonnegut

RadioYKWE December 19, 2011 at 1:30 am

If nothing else he should be shot for those glasses.

poncho_pilot December 19, 2011 at 2:05 am

and lots of meth i'm sure. lots and lots of meth.

Negropolis December 19, 2011 at 2:30 am

The UP was actually kind of socialist rednecky up until 2010. It was one of those few places in the nation where the rural folks were blue (anti-war, pro-labour, for social services, though, still socially conservative) until they were co-opted by the tea party in 2010. Hopefully, this was just a phase and we'll get them back in 2012. They really aren't liking their new tea party congressman they just elected, the idiots. We told them.

ShaveTheWhales December 19, 2011 at 2:55 am

Ya, my admittedly forty years out of date view of the yoopie was of a bunch of tight-assed union guys. My reason for making this comment is to point out the remarkable fact that once upon a time in America, it was possible to be a social conservative and, at the same time, a total union guy.

V572 the Merciless December 19, 2011 at 8:59 am

Who knew? I just assumed the UP would be RW on account of its remoteness.

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