gay old party

Mississippi Mayor Outed After Visiting Gay Sex Shop With City Credit Card

This year's top Xmas turkey.

Merry Dickcember, one and all! How has this week’s garden-variety self-loathing closeted Republican politician managed to out himself? Ha ha, the headline sort of gives it away, but meet Greg Davis, the mayor of Southaven, Mississippi who went on a taxpayer-funded shopping spree to the tune of $170,000 in booze, fancy meals and a TRIP TO A GAY SEX TOY STORE, in Canada. The sexytime freebies lasted until a band of fun-hating auditors noticed there were, uh, five hundred pages of receipts for the mayor’s extracurricular activities and decided to have a peek at his credit card expenditures. Shit! Right, so yeah, let’s start again: meet Greg Davis, a formerly-closeted gay dude who has never heard of cash.

And here’s another troubling thing Davis never heard of, this thing called “public records,” which allowed the media to get hold of the receipts after auditors handed them over to the City Council for review. DOUBLE SHIT.

From the frank-yet-oddly-named Commercial Appeal newspaper:

“At this point in my life and in my career, while I have tried to maintain separation between my personal and public life, it is obvious that this can no longer remain the case,” Davis said Thursday afternoon at his Southaven home. “While I have performed my job as mayor, in my opinion, as a very conservative, progressive individual [Ed note: Huh?] — and still continue to be a very conservative individual — I think that it is important that I discuss the struggles I have had over the last few years when I came to the realization that I am gay.”

Aw. Well, a few points, maybe, for a bit of late-breaking honesty instead of trying to create some elaborate farcical excuse like “I just wanted to talk about baseball with the gay sex shop salesman.” We would actually *almost* feel sorry for him, except that:

As for the receipts, Davis, a Republican who ran unsuccessfully for Congress in 2008 on a conservative, family-values platform, said he couldn’t discuss specifics on the advice of his attorney.

(Our bold.) There’s evidence enough at this point that every single Republican politician without exception who is running on a rabid “family-values” platform has a big knob-gobbler side hobby. Looking at you, Rick Santorum. [Commercial Appeal via Wonkette operative “Monsieur Grumpe”]

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments [Looking into whether this is still possible - Shy] - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    "Davis, a Republican who ran unsuccessfully for Congress in 2008 on a conservative, family-values platform, "
    Why are these people always the worst offenders?

    • SilverTsunami

      A little thing called self-hatred.

      • Isyaignert

        with a heapin' helpin' of cowardace and general fukked-upness.

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      I realize it is a rhetorical question but…Because they are assholes.

      • valgal2342

        So is there a wife? If not, how the hell did he get elected? I mean, ya know, single guy…..looks gay….Mississippi?

    • tessiee

      "Why are these people always the worst offenders?"

      Because they're half out of their minds with sexual frustration, and therefore not really thinking clearly?
      (I *was* gonna say "thinking straight", but that's a very bad pun, indeed)

  • Come here a minute

    Don't worry, Mr. Mayor. It gets better!

    • nounverb911

      Just imagine how popular you'll be in the prison shower.

    • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

      For the rest of us, yes. For him, probably not so much.

    • mayor_quimby

      I would like, er uh, to deny, um ever meeting this obviously immoral, charlatan.
      I love my beautiful wife, Sheryl, er Carol, very much.
      Vote Quimby in 2012!

    • Ancient_Hacker

      Not for him, with a face like that, he'd have trouble getting a date in the Grand Central Station men's room.

  • memzilla

    Poor dude never heard of the separation between Crotch and State?

    • Loaded_Pants

      More like Crutch and State.

  • fuflans

    blame canada.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Not that Hessian dominatrix Angela Merkel?

    • Negropolis

      This is so obviously Canada's fault, rubbing (suggestively – nay, grinding) their gay cooties all over him and such.

  • Beowoof

    Looking for that cock shaped candy cane. http://www.lotionspotionsvibes.com/lick-me-penis-

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Why, oh why did I click on that?

      • Beowoof

        Christmas shopping?

  • Barb

    "TRIP TO A GAY SEX TOY STORE, in Canada."
    Buy American, you frivolous pillow biter.

    • DaRooster

      Some fucking "Job Creator".

    • FlyOverGirl

      My mother, who is perhaps the most innocent person ever, asked why he didn't go to New Orleans?

  • fuflans

    finally, a christmas story we can all get behind.

    • DaRooster

      Take a number…

    • Loaded_Pants

      Or in front of.

    • comrad_darkness

      "behind" tee hee.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com PalinzADummy

      Or put behind us. You know, as in, depending on one's sexual preference and all that.

  • BarackMyWorld
    • finallyhappy

      I never got that whole thing.

      • bagofmice

        You have to download the whole thing.

  • e_z

    Fucking Canadians, get John Bolton on the tube, 54 40 or fight!

  • Nostrildamus
    • thebeatgoeson

      Thanks for making the pizza I just ate threaten to make a reappearance.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Wonder how many House Republicans have fapped to that pic?

    • tessiee

      There's a reason why Santa comes but once a year.

  • RadioYKWE

    Davis/Rubio '12

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    There really aren't many things you can pray away … and an audit certainly isn't one of them.

    • comrad_darkness

      You can pray away one thing: sins after confession. That works.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Heh. Sez who?

        • comrad_darkness

          Says my confessional priest guy, and he's the only one that decides, isn't he?

          Wait, have I been lied to?

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Butt lube is kind of expensive, though.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      The santorum has hit the fan.

    • GregComlish

      Gotta buy in bulk

    • DaRooster

      That is why we must approve the Tar Sands Pipeline…

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Is that what Mayor Davis calls it?

        • Loaded_Pants

          The "Pipeline"–now on sale at "Secrets & Secretions" for just $19.95–just in time for the holidays!

    • mayor_quimby

      Especially the good shit, AstroGlide just won't cut it for some jobs.

    • FlyOverGirl

      How does the exchange rate play out?

  • CountryClubJihadi

    Well, that explains the Hickory Farms Beef Stick gift baskets he sends every Chistmas.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Hickory Farms? What a cheap bastard. He could at least send out the Harry & David "Sausage Fest Holiday Celebration" basket. Cheese & crackers included, of course.

      • Beowoof

        Oh I am sure the Mayor has a sausage fest planned, but I think he wanted to do it on the down low.

      • tessiee

        "the Harry & David "Sausage Fest Holiday Celebration" basket"

        Is that the gift basket that includes an assortment of fruits and festive nuts?

      • flamingpdog

        Just cheese will be fine – he can produce the cracker.

  • TeaNuts

    G.O.P. Gay One Percenters.

  • sbj1964

    Rick Perry, told him about the place.Claimed the Dildo selection was off the chain.

  • edgydrifter

    Every since Kinsey estimated 10% of American men were gay, Conservatives have argued against that figure. I used to think they were arguing that 10% is too high. Turns out they've been furiously trying to prove it's far too low.

    • Loaded_Pants

      And they are succeeding with flying (rainbow) colors.

  • Wonderthing

    It ain't the gay. It's the cliche. Self loathing is so yesterday.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      Nice poemage.

  • metamarcisf

    We can only hope that his post-employment COBRA (sic) benefits will pay for his stay at the Marcus Bachmann Gay Recidivism and Bath House Clinic located behind the Statue of Babe the Blue Ox in Brainard, MN.

  • MissTaken

    Thanks for boosting the Canadian economy, asshole. What, American gay sex toys not maple-sugary enough for you?

    • An_Outhouse

      mmmm …. maple syrup

      • Loaded_Pants

        Maple syrup lube on sale now at "Secrets & Secretions"–just in time for the holidays!

        Wait? What? Okay, I'll stop now.

        • Negropolis

          Ooo, that could be a new store name "Victoria's Secretions"!

          • bagofmice

            I hear they have an island.

          • flamingpdog

            And a queen.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Mayor Davis's gay sex spree, in Canada, is simply another iteration of the "giant sucking sound" of which Perot spoke.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Make sure the store is discreet. You want the credit card statement to look like you've been buying a lot of hair care products and shaving cream.

  • Schmannnity

    OH! Canada

  • sbj1964

    How do you think Republicans get their heads that far up they're asses without Anal lube?

    • Loaded_Pants

      Maybe some of that "bubblin' crude" as well?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Wait….was that a Citi Dividend World Master Card?

  • fitley

    I wonder what his new years resolutions will be.

  • NYNYNYjr

    Was there even a possibility he could have gotten away with that? Was he spending that money to whoo some Canadian business to Mudflap, MS? Gay store or not, really, that's what mayors do? Going to have to read the story.

  • JackObin

    Forgive him, lord, for he is from Mississippi, U.S.A.

    • Barrelhse

      Done.

    • Loaded_Pants

      If the Lord doesn't forgive him, then the people of Mississippi need to get started on those hurricane/tornado shelters.

    • Negropolis

      And that is a curse enough.

  • DaRooster

    Davis continued, "… but you suck one cock… while there is another one penetrating your ass and you're gay… whatever…. fuckers!"

    • Barrelhse

      Had he been with Rick Perry he would have said "..but you suck one LITTLE cock.."

  • rocktonsam

    He couldn't get gay sex toys at the Mississippi Bait and Tackle and Hair Care and Cigarette and Lynching Rope and Gay Sex Toy Shop?

    • Loaded_Pants

      He didn't know that they keep 'em in the back. You have to ask to see 'em.

    • tessiee

      Sure he could have, just not the maple syrup flavored ones.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Went up North for some Royal Canadian Mounting eh?

    I was hoping someone would post that story so I could use that line. Thanks Kirsten.

  • YouBetcha

    That's so gay.

    No really, it's gay.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    Will Conservative Republicanism be given proper inclusion in the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) when it comes out?

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      I don't think the DSM-V is going to come out. It's going to have to be outed.

      • Mort_Sinclair

        When caught trying to pick up the ICD-10 manual (uh hem) in a gay bar in Biloxi?

      • tessiee

        In contrast to the BDSM-V, which is out and proud.

  • SayItWithWookies

    R. Clarke Cooper, executive director of the Log Cabin Republicans, a national organization for gay and lesbian conservatives, said he hoped Davis would still be seen as the same person.
    "What would be helpful to the mayor is if the community recognizes that he is still the same person," Cooper said. "This is a part of who he is that people just didn't know."

    Well, Mr. Cooper, in that regard, the mayor's $67 in closeted gayness gets trumped by his $170,000 in steak houses, liquor stores and tons of other corruption. But if Mayor Davis does go to jail, thanks to the godless socialist America-hating liberals it'll be for betraying the public trust and not for being queer.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      Exactly. "Same person", as in…..what? A fucking hypocrite?

      • Loaded_Pants

        The LCR: enabling all those politicians/self-hating homos that actually hate them for …(however many fucking years that they've existed).

        • tessiee

          "ACLU Defends American Nazi Party's Right to Burn Down ACLU Headquarters" — The Onion

      • ShaveTheWhales

        Actually, I think "crook" works.

    • SilverTsunami

      Yes, I still see him as an embezzler.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Sugar plums, CHECK
    Gay Apparel, CHECK
    Prancer, CHECK
    Dancer, CHECK
    Vixen, CHECK
    Reindeer games, CHECK

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Auditors, CHECKMATE

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      This, this is beautiful SB. This is why I spend (entirely) too much time on wonkette.

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

        Uh, are you coming on to me, Mumbles?

    • user-of-owls

      Needz moar Fairies.

      Oh, and you were going to get around to Nutcracker too, right?

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

        Czech. Or Austrian. Whatever.

    • Loaded_Pants

      "Will you guide my 'sleigh' tonight…" CHECK

    • tessiee

      I'll just bet a creature was stirring, too.

  • YouBetcha

    I'm curious about the mechanics of this. Do you buy a toy, and sneak it back on your luggage and into your house, then hide it where the wife can't find it? Do you tell her and have her help use it on you? Do you buy it, and just dispose of it? Was it just magazines or something? Wouldn't this all be a bit simpler, if, oh, I don't know, these assholes weren't self-loathing closet cases? I can walk into The Pleasure Chest, buy myself a very elegant Evolved vibe because I burned out the motor on the last one, wave it in the air at home, and no one gives a flying fuck. Hey Republicans: try honesty on for size. It'll lower your blood pressure.

    • DaRooster

      Please… no tips to lowering their blood pressure… let 'em fucking drop… in droves.

      • bagofmice

        Here we come to f the rooster. But noooo he. Ain't gonna die.

    • Biff

      You wore the first one out, is what you're saying? I'm impressed!

    • Callyson

      "No, really, honey, it's a paperweight."

    • Loaded_Pants

      "wave it in the air at home"–always good to air it out first before use.

    • tessiee

      "I can walk into The Pleasure Chest, buy myself a very elegant Evolved vibe because I burned out the motor on the last one, wave it in the air at home, and no one gives a flying fuck."

      And that is why I'm single.

    • HarryButtle

      Dropped discreetly in an airport trash bin as he approaches the security checkpoint. Like an old cold war microfilm drop…only ickier.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Put your vibes in the air. Wave 'em like ye just don't care.

  • cheetojeebus

    This dude's mug is on the December cover of "Physiognomy and the Gay Closeted Republican Corrupt local politician and Pseudo Pray Away the Gay Psychiatry Practitioner Practical Journal"

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      That's a mouthful!

    • Barrelhse

      Is that the same as profiling?

  • OneYieldRegular

    So typical, this convoluted Republican politician method of coming out. "Outing-by-government-expense-account" belongs in the same category of social phenomena as "suicide-by-cop."

  • SilverTsunami

    "…and a visit to an adult store catering to gay men while on a recruitment trip to Canada."

    Recruitment Trip. They're correct, this stuff really does write itself!

    • An_Outhouse

      recruitment trip? there may be more charges in the offing.

    • doloras

      We want you. We want you. We want you as a new recruit.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Even I bought into the lie that gays are born. Turns out we really do recruit!

  • CapeClod

    $170,000? The town of South Aven can't even afford second "H" in its name. or maybe its Sout Haven.

  • Manhattan123

    He's looking mighty perty to Miss Michele Bachmann.

    • FlyOverGirl

      Boy toy.

  • Fawkdifiknow

    Went up there for the Molsons and stayed for teh gey.

  • Biff

    I'll reserve judgement until I hear EQ weigh in.

  • finallyhappy

    He is conservative? really- spending $170,000 of city money for personal use? Being a closeted gay guy is so last year GOP. It pisses me off that he stole so much from what is probably a pretty poor town but I guess feed/clothe/souse the rich- cheat the poor is the main GOP family value

    • anniegetyerfun

      Now, now. I'm sure he used coupons.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    Sort of have to give the guy credit for at least having the guts to say he was gay. He could have said he bought the toys for "research purposes" and then tripped and fell while naked and had one "accidentally" go up his ass. But don't get me wrong, he's still a vile waste of carbon based molecules.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    I hope he at least got his 1% cash back.

  • arihaya

    Canada? I guess while there, he's also sneaking into one of them Soshulish Healthcare Clinics

  • arihaya

    and oh, now that everyone knew about it, why don't he just change his name into "Gay Davis"

  • user-of-owls

    “Oh my God,” thought Greg. “I just got fucked by The Auditors!”

  • Callyson

    Davis spent thousands of dollars at the Mesquite Chop House in Southaven and thousands more at local liquor stores. Also included in the receipts is a charge for $67 at Priape, a store in Toronto that is described by its website as "Canada's premiere gay lifestyle store and sex shop."
    So, the sex toy was only $67–not so unreasonable–but *thousands* at liquor stores? How much of an alcoholic do you have to be?
    "While I have performed my job as mayor, in my opinion, as a very conservative, progressive individual — and still continue to be a very conservative individual…"
    This guy could teach Mittens some lessons on flip flopping about…

    • Loaded_Pants

      "….but *thousands* at liquor stores? How much of an alcoholic do you have to be?" The type who only spends $67 on sex toys. Batteries not included.

    • HarryButtle

      What do you suppose he bought in Canada for 67 bucks that he couldn't find in the US? Maple scented anal beads? Hockey stick vibrator? Caribou antler buttplug? Sidney Crosby's used jock? Inquiring minds want to know.

  • Loaded_Pants

    At least he's getting better legal advice than Jerry "I-Was-Showering-With-Those-Boys-Just-To-Show-Them-How-to-Use-Soap" Sandusky.

  • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

    Unpatriotic bastard. Can't even support the American sex toy industry

  • Pragmatist2

    For Christ's sake! Seriously. Can't these sick people and the morons who vote for them get a grip on reality OR jump off a cliff hand-in-hand? They spread their lies and their fear and do harm to so many and they do no good at all.

  • Loaded_Pants

    The South is indeed rising again but mostly in Canadian gay sex toy shops.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    I'm sure he did it because he loves his country too much.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I never get enough of that excuse.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    There just can't ever be enough of these "family values conservative turns out to be secret howlin' horn-huffer" stories.

    Some quotes from his Mayoral website:

    “Greg is a wonderful husband and girl-daddy,” Suzann [That's his now ex-wife] says, “he can fix a broken toilet —- and do one of the best ponytails you have ever seen!”

    “God has really blessed us with a great church family,” stated Greg, “we are continually learning and experiencing more of God’s awesome glory every week.”

    and it was then God noticed Greg and thought "fuck me*, another one of those sanctimonious weasels I fucking hate so much. right, let's fuck with him. how's this for awesome glory, bitch?"

    * My imaginary god swears like a sailor.

    • Loaded_Pants

      "girl-daddy"? Wtf does that even mean?
      And the statement that he can "…do one of the best ponytails you have ever seen!"
      That was a sign, right there, Mrs. Ex-Davis….

    • Negropolis

      Fukui,

      Are you making those quotes up or are they actual ones. "girl-daddy" "do one of the best ponytails" REALLY!?!

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        Nope, these really are from his own site

        • Negropolis

          You know what? I can't even snark. This has just gone from funny to plain sadz. Those poor girls. Why must they always bring children into this?

    • user-of-owls

      At first, I read, "My imaginary god sweats like a sailor," and I thought, "Hmm, maybe god does have something in common with Rick Perry."

    • mayor_quimby

      I have gone my whole life without ever hearing the phrase girl-daddy, and I can think of no good use for it. What's a boy-daddy, or a boy-mommie? I think girl-daddy means exactly what is sounds like.

  • Schmannnity

    Snark off momentarily. This brief reminder:

    I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

    Somehow, having a corrupt politician who happens to be gay in a small town in Mississippi seems like (lopsided) progress.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      I hadn't thought of it that way … nah, too much of a stretch.

  • comrad_darkness

    >$170,000 in booze, fancy meals and a TRIP TO A GAY SEX TOY STORE, in Canada.

    It's like he was screaming to be caught.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Flaming to be caught?

  • Barrelhse

    It seems Monsieur_Grumpe really does read all of them, Katy.

    • HateMachine

      More likely, he's from somewhere nearby. Here in the Memphian subcontinent, this was pretty big news, being the fruits of the latest in a string of investigations into the comically corrupt mayoral offices in the Greater Memphis Area.

      Plus, it was pretty funny how this morning's Commercial Appeal (print) managed to completely bury the lede in a sort of well-meaning way. The actual outing was like three paragraphs in and not in the headline, obviously because the editors thought that the corruption should be the big deal, and not the gayness. Naturally, the gayness was all any of the CA's readers talked about all day.

    • MosesInvests

      Excellent use of an otherwise overused catchphrase. Well played!

  • Sassomatic

    Most people, when they realize they are gay, don't take the company credit card down to the gay sex toy emporium to expense a whole-lotta being-gay-now. I was at work the other day when I realized I hated all humans, but I didn't take the company credit card down to the gun shop. Sheesh.

    • bagofmice

      Well, dildonics can be a complicated technology.

  • Negropolis

    Santa has cum early this year!

    • bagofmice

      I suppose the phase "ho ho ho" is completely irrelevant at this time. If there were only some sort of flying epithet to be given at this time. Reindeer with their leather might be a bit kinky.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Was the sex toy he bought a remote-controlled pink dildo? If not, scandal FAIL.

    Don't they have any trannys in Mississippi that need hunting?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    News about this incident is detailed in a blog called TowleRoad, which describes itself as "a site with homosexual tendencies." The article includes a photo that appears to be Davis' concession for his Congressional bid. The sad family accompanying him is running a close session to our favorite photo of crying child political pawns.

    Below the article is a comment from a person named Janie, "He served his wife with divorce papers at a church dayschool here in Southaven (while she was there with her class during a field trip for childhood development) last December." So possibly he was in the process of coming out before his that event was upstaged by his financial indiscretions.

    While I have no sympathy for this lying, cheating Baptist Republican, as usual I feel intensely sorry for his family. I can only hope they will retaliate by refudiating Daddy Dearest's hypocritical politics.

    Read more: http://www.towleroad.com/2011/12/gop-family-value

    • user-of-owls

      Ha! That kid looks like she's:

      a) got a vicious child-sized migraine; or,
      b) blowing her nose in her hands; or,
      c) just been pepper-sprayed by Lt. John Pike (invol. ret.)

      • flamingpdog

        Too bad his career in politics is over – the two older girls look like they could have been the next Bush twins.

        • user-of-owls

          They appear to be the anti-Santorums. More ennui, less 1,000-yard stare.

  • bagofmice

    The hell? We still measure data in pages? And not those 16k page ass bitches, like actual paper?

  • anniegetyerfun

    Do closeted gay Republicans think that Canada is a magic land where your spending didn't happen? It's not like the language or currency is so different that you can't figure out what went down by looking at some paperwork.

    • elfgoldsackring

      Shoulda gone to Quebec… If only he had charged "un dildeau (rose, extra-grand)", no-one would ever have figured it out!

  • ttommyunger

    Wha? Who? Oh, again? Ho-hum, zzzzzzzzzzzz

  • owhatever

    Damn liberal media. Now I've got to go spend more time with my family. And right at Christmas, too.

  • aklibtard

    First of all, why would some broke as hell town in MS send their mayor to Canada with the city credit card? Second, how the hell did he think he was going to get away with dropping $170,000 worth of shit? Nobody could be this clueless. He must have just been looking for a way to get outed without having to do it himself.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      There's a suicide-by-cop joke here somewhere but I'm too tired to figure it out.

  • mayor_quimby

    Hey, hey, hey, there is no evidence that he is racist or bigoted, except against the gays. Or the brown gays. Or the non-christian gays. Or the non-christians. And I'm sure he was secretly in love with a gay liberal, who probably reverse-homophobed him into these vile actions.
    Yeah, that all makes sense to me.

  • poncho_pilot

    Dear Greg Davis,

    It is nearly 2012. You should try the Internet. You can buy stuff there and have it shipped wherever you like. It is a series of tubes which may or may not entice you more. I won't act like a dick and say FYI because I'm not stuck up and elitist like that. Just trying to help. Be yourself. People will respect and like you more.

    Sincerely,
    Poncho Benedicto Pacífico Juan María Ramírez Pilot

  • HelmutNewton

    Well, it's pretty obvious. He WANTED to get caught. You know how those closeted self-loathing Republicans are.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Libunatic

    Hey, the Canadians used to have a Progressive Conservative party, so why not this guy too?

    Merry Dickcember, everyone!

  • HarryButtle

    Silly Republican, Bangkok is NOT in Quebec. Sex tourism…YER DOIN' IT WRONG!

  • El Pinche

    Mississippi's new state song , Don't go back to Cockville

    He'll probably blame Obama for making him go to Cockville. "The kenyan marxist and the democrat party is eating me up inside. So I turned to young male penis and heavy drinking."

  • El Pinche

    Merry Dicktember!! I can't wait for what's in store in Cuntuary.

  • Isyaignert

    Yes, even Gee Dub is rumored to be a knobgobbler -http://gayswithoutborders.wordpress.com/2007/09/30/george-w-bush-chad-savage/ and http://www.georgewbushisgay.com/

    Methinks they doth protest too much.

  • horsedreamer_1

    He figured since no one believed his tales of a Canadian girlfriend when he was younger, they wouldn't believe in his gay adventures in Canada, now. Canada — it's as real as Harry Turtledove's alternate history, eh?

  • MiniMencken

    Isn't Gobbler's Knob the town in Tennessee where they make all of that great whiskey? Or is it Irish cream? I get so confused sometimes with all the news coming at me everytime I turn on the ordinateur to check out some free porn.

  • FakaktaSouth

    HEY! I know that dude!!!
    New day, new gay guy playing like he's a Christian Con-servative…however this is the first time I have met one of them (that I know of). We even had the occasion to be conservatively prayed at by this dude in Southaven because of the massive Dizzy Dean baseball allstars tournament they host where my kid played and hubs coached. It was absolutley as over the top as a God-centric Patrio-athletic American Baseballarific event in Mississippi as you wd imagine. Amercan flags out the ass, (prob literally) prayers and good old "ain't we awesome" southern frat boy machismo. And I can say the town LOVED him, gave him soooooo much credit for the outstanding growth in Southaven, and as I say, he was leading the fanfare, bragging on his outstanding "conservative christian right wing republican straight white American maleness." He's very tall, manly, swaggery and obvs had a secret.

    Oh well, I guess my son is gay now.

    (All that wd actually mean is that we would move sooner than later).

  • teebob2000

    That Blingee creator gets the Presidential Medal of Freedom

  • ndisang67

    So how much cash back does the city get on sex toys?

  • rickmaci

    Like most of these "family values" Republitoons, they don't mind if they drop a few points in the pre-election polls, they enjoy the thrill of a come from behind victory.

  • Flitzy

    "And that's why you always pay for your porn with cash." – J. Walter Weatherman

  • Hoomonkey

    The gay thing is bad in that it shows hypocrisy…. But the reason it all acme to light was because he spent $170k at the city's expense while claiming to be conservative! WTF.

  • An_Outhouse

    those sneaky queers, always sucking on the public's teet. Wait, that analogy doesn't work.

  • Mojopo

    Bless her heart for trying. Or as my southern relatives say, trine

  • Negropolis

    Someone just needs to find the mayor a nice, Southern girl, right?

  • ShaveTheWhales

    Um, I'd say if your grandmama even noticed the stealing-from-taxpayers part, she's doing pretty damn well.

  • flamingpdog

    "Nice Southern girls" are probably the reason all these closeted Republican clown-politicians are gay.

  • mayor_quimby

    That might work, I have gotten nice southern girls to do some filthy, sexy, illegal, highly morally questionable things.
    Seriously, don't let the sweet accent fool you.
    (makes mental plans for tomorrow night)

  • Negropolis

    Actually, a "Nice, Southern Girl" can better be translated as "a kinky Southern woman, who will perform unthinkable sex acts on you." Having been ultra-repressed, she's also on the verge of a nervous breakdown, so thata's the downside.

  • mayor_quimby

    Fuck, and YES, as I said below. I don't know if they're freakier than repressed Catholic girls, but a Southern Baptist freak is a damn good find.
    *clutches pearls*

  • hunnybee

    dear Jeebus! the mind just boggles