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This year's top Xmas turkey.

Merry Dickcember, one and all! How has this week’s garden-variety self-loathing closeted Republican politician managed to out himself? Ha ha, the headline sort of gives it away, but meet Greg Davis, the mayor of Southaven, Mississippi who went on a taxpayer-funded shopping spree to the tune of $170,000 in booze, fancy meals and a TRIP TO A GAY SEX TOY STORE, in Canada. The sexytime freebies lasted until a band of fun-hating auditors noticed there were, uh, five hundred pages of receipts for the mayor’s extracurricular activities and decided to have a peek at his credit card expenditures. Shit! Right, so yeah, let’s start again: meet Greg Davis, a formerly-closeted gay dude who has never heard of cash.

And here’s another troubling thing Davis never heard of, this thing called “public records,” which allowed the media to get hold of the receipts after auditors handed them over to the City Council for review. DOUBLE SHIT.

From the frank-yet-oddly-named Commercial Appeal newspaper:

“At this point in my life and in my career, while I have tried to maintain separation between my personal and public life, it is obvious that this can no longer remain the case,” Davis said Thursday afternoon at his Southaven home. “While I have performed my job as mayor, in my opinion, as a very conservative, progressive individual [Ed note: Huh?] — and still continue to be a very conservative individual — I think that it is important that I discuss the struggles I have had over the last few years when I came to the realization that I am gay.”

Aw. Well, a few points, maybe, for a bit of late-breaking honesty instead of trying to create some elaborate farcical excuse like “I just wanted to talk about baseball with the gay sex shop salesman.” We would actually *almost* feel sorry for him, except that:

As for the receipts, Davis, a Republican who ran unsuccessfully for Congress in 2008 on a conservative, family-values platform, said he couldn’t discuss specifics on the advice of his attorney.

(Our bold.) There’s evidence enough at this point that every single Republican politician without exception who is running on a rabid “family-values” platform has a big knob-gobbler side hobby. Looking at you, Rick Santorum. [Commercial Appeal via Wonkette operative “Monsieur Grumpe”]

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