GAY OLD PARTY  6:04 pm December 16, 2011

Mississippi Mayor Outed After Visiting Gay Sex Shop With City Credit Card

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

This year's top Xmas turkey.

Merry Dickcember, one and all! How has this week’s garden-variety self-loathing closeted Republican politician managed to out himself? Ha ha, the headline sort of gives it away, but meet Greg Davis, the mayor of Southaven, Mississippi who went on a taxpayer-funded shopping spree to the tune of $170,000 in booze, fancy meals and a TRIP TO A GAY SEX TOY STORE, in Canada. The sexytime freebies lasted until a band of fun-hating auditors noticed there were, uh, five hundred pages of receipts for the mayor’s extracurricular activities and decided to have a peek at his credit card expenditures. Shit! Right, so yeah, let’s start again: meet Greg Davis, a formerly-closeted gay dude who has never heard of cash.

And here’s another troubling thing Davis never heard of, this thing called “public records,” which allowed the media to get hold of the receipts after auditors handed them over to the City Council for review. DOUBLE SHIT.

From the frank-yet-oddly-named Commercial Appeal newspaper:

“At this point in my life and in my career, while I have tried to maintain separation between my personal and public life, it is obvious that this can no longer remain the case,” Davis said Thursday afternoon at his Southaven home. “While I have performed my job as mayor, in my opinion, as a very conservative, progressive individual [Ed note: Huh?] — and still continue to be a very conservative individual — I think that it is important that I discuss the struggles I have had over the last few years when I came to the realization that I am gay.”

Aw. Well, a few points, maybe, for a bit of late-breaking honesty instead of trying to create some elaborate farcical excuse like “I just wanted to talk about baseball with the gay sex shop salesman.” We would actually *almost* feel sorry for him, except that:

As for the receipts, Davis, a Republican who ran unsuccessfully for Congress in 2008 on a conservative, family-values platform, said he couldn’t discuss specifics on the advice of his attorney.

(Our bold.) There’s evidence enough at this point that every single Republican politician without exception who is running on a rabid “family-values” platform has a big knob-gobbler side hobby. Looking at you, Rick Santorum. [Commercial Appeal via Wonkette operative "Monsieur Grumpe"]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 196 comments }

nounverb911 December 16, 2011 at 6:06 pm

"Davis, a Republican who ran unsuccessfully for Congress in 2008 on a conservative, family-values platform, "
Why are these people always the worst offenders?

SilverTsunami December 16, 2011 at 6:39 pm

A little thing called self-hatred.

Isyaignert December 17, 2011 at 2:49 pm

with a heapin' helpin' of cowardace and general fukked-upness.

donner_froh December 16, 2011 at 6:39 pm

I realize it is a rhetorical question but…Because they are assholes.

valgal2342 December 16, 2011 at 8:59 pm

So is there a wife? If not, how the hell did he get elected? I mean, ya know, single guy…..looks gay….Mississippi?

tessiee December 16, 2011 at 10:02 pm

"Why are these people always the worst offenders?"

Because they're half out of their minds with sexual frustration, and therefore not really thinking clearly?
(I *was* gonna say "thinking straight", but that's a very bad pun, indeed)

Come here a minute December 16, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Don't worry, Mr. Mayor. It gets better!

nounverb911 December 16, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Just imagine how popular you'll be in the prison shower.

natoslug December 16, 2011 at 7:23 pm

For the rest of us, yes. For him, probably not so much.

mayor_quimby December 17, 2011 at 12:41 am

I would like, er uh, to deny, um ever meeting this obviously immoral, charlatan.
I love my beautiful wife, Sheryl, er Carol, very much.
Vote Quimby in 2012!

Ancient_Hacker December 18, 2011 at 9:37 am

Not for him, with a face like that, he'd have trouble getting a date in the Grand Central Station men's room.

memzilla December 16, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Poor dude never heard of the separation between Crotch and State?

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 7:41 pm

More like Crutch and State.

fuflans December 16, 2011 at 6:08 pm

blame canada.

weejee December 16, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Not that Hessian dominatrix Angela Merkel?

Negropolis December 16, 2011 at 9:18 pm

This is so obviously Canada's fault, rubbing (suggestively – nay, grinding) their gay cooties all over him and such.

Beowoof December 16, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Looking for that cock shaped candy cane. http://www.lotionspotionsvibes.com/lick-me-penis-

starfanglednut December 16, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Why, oh why did I click on that?

Beowoof December 16, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Christmas shopping?

Barb December 16, 2011 at 6:08 pm

"TRIP TO A GAY SEX TOY STORE, in Canada."
Buy American, you frivolous pillow biter.

DaRooster December 16, 2011 at 6:36 pm

Some fucking "Job Creator".

FlyOverGirl December 17, 2011 at 1:33 pm

My mother, who is perhaps the most innocent person ever, asked why he didn't go to New Orleans?

fuflans December 16, 2011 at 6:09 pm

finally, a christmas story we can all get behind.

DaRooster December 16, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Take a number…

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 7:42 pm

Or in front of.

comrad_darkness December 16, 2011 at 8:23 pm

"behind" tee hee.

PalinzADummy December 17, 2011 at 1:50 am

Or put behind us. You know, as in, depending on one's sexual preference and all that.

BarackMyWorld December 16, 2011 at 6:13 pm
finallyhappy December 16, 2011 at 6:45 pm

I never got that whole thing.

bagofmice December 16, 2011 at 10:52 pm

You have to download the whole thing.

e_z December 16, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Fucking Canadians, get John Bolton on the tube, 54 40 or fight!

Nostrildamus December 16, 2011 at 6:13 pm
thebeatgoeson December 16, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Thanks for making the pizza I just ate threaten to make a reappearance.

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Wonder how many House Republicans have fapped to that pic?

tessiee December 16, 2011 at 10:07 pm

There's a reason why Santa comes but once a year.

RadioYKWE December 16, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Davis/Rubio '12

Biel_ze_Bubba December 16, 2011 at 6:15 pm

There really aren't many things you can pray away … and an audit certainly isn't one of them.

comrad_darkness December 16, 2011 at 8:30 pm

You can pray away one thing: sins after confession. That works.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 16, 2011 at 11:52 pm

Heh. Sez who?

comrad_darkness December 17, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Says my confessional priest guy, and he's the only one that decides, isn't he?

Wait, have I been lied to?

SheriffRoscoe December 16, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Butt lube is kind of expensive, though.

weejee December 16, 2011 at 6:28 pm

The santorum has hit the fan.

GregComlish December 16, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Gotta buy in bulk

DaRooster December 16, 2011 at 6:38 pm

That is why we must approve the Tar Sands Pipeline…

weejee December 16, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Is that what Mayor Davis calls it?

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 7:53 pm

The "Pipeline"–now on sale at "Secrets & Secretions" for just $19.95–just in time for the holidays!

mayor_quimby December 17, 2011 at 12:50 am

Especially the good shit, AstroGlide just won't cut it for some jobs.

FlyOverGirl December 17, 2011 at 1:34 pm

How does the exchange rate play out?

CountryClubJihadi December 16, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Well, that explains the Hickory Farms Beef Stick gift baskets he sends every Chistmas.

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Hickory Farms? What a cheap bastard. He could at least send out the Harry & David "Sausage Fest Holiday Celebration" basket. Cheese & crackers included, of course.

Beowoof December 16, 2011 at 9:07 pm

Oh I am sure the Mayor has a sausage fest planned, but I think he wanted to do it on the down low.

tessiee December 16, 2011 at 10:09 pm

"the Harry & David "Sausage Fest Holiday Celebration" basket"

Is that the gift basket that includes an assortment of fruits and festive nuts?

flamingpdog December 16, 2011 at 11:51 pm

Just cheese will be fine – he can produce the cracker.

TeaNuts December 16, 2011 at 6:16 pm

G.O.P. Gay One Percenters.

sbj1964 December 16, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Rick Perry, told him about the place.Claimed the Dildo selection was off the chain.

edgydrifter December 16, 2011 at 6:18 pm

Every since Kinsey estimated 10% of American men were gay, Conservatives have argued against that figure. I used to think they were arguing that 10% is too high. Turns out they've been furiously trying to prove it's far too low.

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 8:21 pm

And they are succeeding with flying (rainbow) colors.

Wonderthing December 16, 2011 at 6:18 pm

It ain't the gay. It's the cliche. Self loathing is so yesterday.

LionHeartSoyDog December 17, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Nice poemage.

metamarcisf December 16, 2011 at 6:19 pm

We can only hope that his post-employment COBRA (sic) benefits will pay for his stay at the Marcus Bachmann Gay Recidivism and Bath House Clinic located behind the Statue of Babe the Blue Ox in Brainard, MN.

MissTaken December 16, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Thanks for boosting the Canadian economy, asshole. What, American gay sex toys not maple-sugary enough for you?

An_Outhouse December 16, 2011 at 7:29 pm

mmmm …. maple syrup

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Maple syrup lube on sale now at "Secrets & Secretions"–just in time for the holidays!

Wait? What? Okay, I'll stop now.

Negropolis December 16, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Ooo, that could be a new store name "Victoria's Secretions"!

bagofmice December 16, 2011 at 10:20 pm

I hear they have an island.

horsedreamer_1 December 17, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Mayor Davis's gay sex spree, in Canada, is simply another iteration of the "giant sucking sound" of which Perot spoke.

SheriffRoscoe December 16, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Make sure the store is discreet. You want the credit card statement to look like you've been buying a lot of hair care products and shaving cream.

Schmannnity December 16, 2011 at 6:20 pm

OH! Canada

sbj1964 December 16, 2011 at 6:21 pm

How do you think Republicans get their heads that far up they're asses without Anal lube?

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Maybe some of that "bubblin' crude" as well?

Blueb4sunrise December 16, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Wait….was that a Citi Dividend World Master Card?

fitley December 16, 2011 at 6:22 pm

I wonder what his new years resolutions will be.

NYNYNYjr December 16, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Was there even a possibility he could have gotten away with that? Was he spending that money to whoo some Canadian business to Mudflap, MS? Gay store or not, really, that's what mayors do? Going to have to read the story.

JackObin December 16, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Forgive him, lord, for he is from Mississippi, U.S.A.

Barrelhse December 16, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Done.

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 8:25 pm

If the Lord doesn't forgive him, then the people of Mississippi need to get started on those hurricane/tornado shelters.

Negropolis December 16, 2011 at 9:21 pm

And that is a curse enough.

DaRooster December 16, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Davis continued, "… but you suck one cock… while there is another one penetrating your ass and you're gay… whatever…. fuckers!"

Barrelhse December 16, 2011 at 8:20 pm

Had he been with Rick Perry he would have said "..but you suck one LITTLE cock.."

rocktonsam December 16, 2011 at 6:28 pm

He couldn't get gay sex toys at the Mississippi Bait and Tackle and Hair Care and Cigarette and Lynching Rope and Gay Sex Toy Shop?

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 7:59 pm

He didn't know that they keep 'em in the back. You have to ask to see 'em.

tessiee December 16, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Sure he could have, just not the maple syrup flavored ones.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 16, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Went up North for some Royal Canadian Mounting eh?

I was hoping someone would post that story so I could use that line. Thanks Kirsten.

YouBetcha December 16, 2011 at 6:29 pm

That's so gay.

No really, it's gay.

Mort_Sinclair December 16, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Will Conservative Republicanism be given proper inclusion in the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) when it comes out?

Spurning Beer December 16, 2011 at 6:37 pm

I don't think the DSM-V is going to come out. It's going to have to be outed.

Mort_Sinclair December 16, 2011 at 6:50 pm

When caught trying to pick up the ICD-10 manual (uh hem) in a gay bar in Biloxi?

tessiee December 16, 2011 at 10:14 pm

In contrast to the BDSM-V, which is out and proud.

SayItWithWookies December 16, 2011 at 6:30 pm

R. Clarke Cooper, executive director of the Log Cabin Republicans, a national organization for gay and lesbian conservatives, said he hoped Davis would still be seen as the same person.
"What would be helpful to the mayor is if the community recognizes that he is still the same person," Cooper said. "This is a part of who he is that people just didn't know."

Well, Mr. Cooper, in that regard, the mayor's $67 in closeted gayness gets trumped by his $170,000 in steak houses, liquor stores and tons of other corruption. But if Mayor Davis does go to jail, thanks to the godless socialist America-hating liberals it'll be for betraying the public trust and not for being queer.

SheriffRoscoe December 16, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Exactly. "Same person", as in…..what? A fucking hypocrite?

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 8:29 pm

The LCR: enabling all those politicians/self-hating homos that actually hate them for …(however many fucking years that they've existed).

tessiee December 16, 2011 at 10:15 pm

"ACLU Defends American Nazi Party's Right to Burn Down ACLU Headquarters" — The Onion

ShaveTheWhales December 17, 2011 at 1:06 am

Actually, I think "crook" works.

SilverTsunami December 16, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Yes, I still see him as an embezzler.

Spurning Beer December 16, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Sugar plums, CHECK
Gay Apparel, CHECK
Prancer, CHECK
Dancer, CHECK
Vixen, CHECK
Reindeer games, CHECK

weejee December 16, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Auditors, CHECKMATE

Mumbletypeg December 16, 2011 at 7:11 pm

This, this is beautiful SB. This is why I spend (entirely) too much time on wonkette.

Spurning Beer December 16, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Uh, are you coming on to me, Mumbles?

user-of-owls December 16, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Needz moar Fairies.

Oh, and you were going to get around to Nutcracker too, right?

Spurning Beer December 16, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Czech. Or Austrian. Whatever.

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 8:31 pm

"Will you guide my 'sleigh' tonight…" CHECK

tessiee December 16, 2011 at 10:17 pm

I'll just bet a creature was stirring, too.

YouBetcha December 16, 2011 at 6:34 pm

I'm curious about the mechanics of this. Do you buy a toy, and sneak it back on your luggage and into your house, then hide it where the wife can't find it? Do you tell her and have her help use it on you? Do you buy it, and just dispose of it? Was it just magazines or something? Wouldn't this all be a bit simpler, if, oh, I don't know, these assholes weren't self-loathing closet cases? I can walk into The Pleasure Chest, buy myself a very elegant Evolved vibe because I burned out the motor on the last one, wave it in the air at home, and no one gives a flying fuck. Hey Republicans: try honesty on for size. It'll lower your blood pressure.

DaRooster December 16, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Please… no tips to lowering their blood pressure… let 'em fucking drop… in droves.

bagofmice December 16, 2011 at 11:27 pm

Here we come to f the rooster. But noooo he. Ain't gonna die.

Biff December 16, 2011 at 6:51 pm

You wore the first one out, is what you're saying? I'm impressed!

Callyson December 16, 2011 at 7:41 pm

"No, really, honey, it's a paperweight."

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 8:33 pm

"wave it in the air at home"–always good to air it out first before use.

tessiee December 16, 2011 at 10:18 pm

"I can walk into The Pleasure Chest, buy myself a very elegant Evolved vibe because I burned out the motor on the last one, wave it in the air at home, and no one gives a flying fuck."

And that is why I'm single.

HarryButtle December 17, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Dropped discreetly in an airport trash bin as he approaches the security checkpoint. Like an old cold war microfilm drop…only ickier.

horsedreamer_1 December 17, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Put your vibes in the air. Wave 'em like ye just don't care.

cheetojeebus December 16, 2011 at 6:40 pm

This dude's mug is on the December cover of "Physiognomy and the Gay Closeted Republican Corrupt local politician and Pseudo Pray Away the Gay Psychiatry Practitioner Practical Journal"

starfanglednut December 16, 2011 at 8:18 pm

That's a mouthful!

Barrelhse December 16, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Is that the same as profiling?

OneYieldRegular December 16, 2011 at 6:42 pm

So typical, this convoluted Republican politician method of coming out. "Outing-by-government-expense-account" belongs in the same category of social phenomena as "suicide-by-cop."

SilverTsunami December 16, 2011 at 6:44 pm

"…and a visit to an adult store catering to gay men while on a recruitment trip to Canada."

Recruitment Trip. They're correct, this stuff really does write itself!

An_Outhouse December 16, 2011 at 7:33 pm

recruitment trip? there may be more charges in the offing.

doloras December 16, 2011 at 8:35 pm

We want you. We want you. We want you as a new recruit.

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Even I bought into the lie that gays are born. Turns out we really do recruit!

CapeClod December 16, 2011 at 6:45 pm

$170,000? The town of South Aven can't even afford second "H" in its name. or maybe its Sout Haven.

Manhattan123 December 16, 2011 at 6:45 pm

He's looking mighty perty to Miss Michele Bachmann.

FlyOverGirl December 17, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Boy toy.

Fawkdifiknow December 16, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Went up there for the Molsons and stayed for teh gey.

Biff December 16, 2011 at 6:53 pm

I'll reserve judgement until I hear EQ weigh in.

finallyhappy December 16, 2011 at 6:56 pm

He is conservative? really- spending $170,000 of city money for personal use? Being a closeted gay guy is so last year GOP. It pisses me off that he stole so much from what is probably a pretty poor town but I guess feed/clothe/souse the rich- cheat the poor is the main GOP family value

anniegetyerfun December 16, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Now, now. I'm sure he used coupons.

BigDumbRedDog December 16, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Sort of have to give the guy credit for at least having the guts to say he was gay. He could have said he bought the toys for "research purposes" and then tripped and fell while naked and had one "accidentally" go up his ass. But don't get me wrong, he's still a vile waste of carbon based molecules.

BigDumbRedDog December 16, 2011 at 7:09 pm

I hope he at least got his 1% cash back.

arihaya December 16, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Canada? I guess while there, he's also sneaking into one of them Soshulish Healthcare Clinics

arihaya December 16, 2011 at 7:30 pm

and oh, now that everyone knew about it, why don't he just change his name into "Gay Davis"

user-of-owls December 16, 2011 at 7:34 pm

“Oh my God,” thought Greg. “I just got fucked by The Auditors!”

Callyson December 16, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Davis spent thousands of dollars at the Mesquite Chop House in Southaven and thousands more at local liquor stores. Also included in the receipts is a charge for $67 at Priape, a store in Toronto that is described by its website as "Canada's premiere gay lifestyle store and sex shop."
So, the sex toy was only $67–not so unreasonable–but *thousands* at liquor stores? How much of an alcoholic do you have to be?
"While I have performed my job as mayor, in my opinion, as a very conservative, progressive individual — and still continue to be a very conservative individual…"
This guy could teach Mittens some lessons on flip flopping about…

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 8:43 pm

"….but *thousands* at liquor stores? How much of an alcoholic do you have to be?" The type who only spends $67 on sex toys. Batteries not included.

HarryButtle December 17, 2011 at 1:03 pm

What do you suppose he bought in Canada for 67 bucks that he couldn't find in the US? Maple scented anal beads? Hockey stick vibrator? Caribou antler buttplug? Sidney Crosby's used jock? Inquiring minds want to know.

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 7:39 pm

At least he's getting better legal advice than Jerry "I-Was-Showering-With-Those-Boys-Just-To-Show-Them-How-to-Use-Soap" Sandusky.

Pop_Socket December 16, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Unpatriotic bastard. Can't even support the American sex toy industry

Pragmatist2 December 16, 2011 at 7:47 pm

For Christ's sake! Seriously. Can't these sick people and the morons who vote for them get a grip on reality OR jump off a cliff hand-in-hand? They spread their lies and their fear and do harm to so many and they do no good at all.

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 7:49 pm

The South is indeed rising again but mostly in Canadian gay sex toy shops.

JustPixelz December 16, 2011 at 7:53 pm

I'm sure he did it because he loves his country too much.

Jukesgrrl December 17, 2011 at 6:47 am

I never get enough of that excuse.

Fukui_sanYesOta December 16, 2011 at 8:05 pm

There just can't ever be enough of these "family values conservative turns out to be secret howlin' horn-huffer" stories.

Some quotes from his Mayoral website:

“Greg is a wonderful husband and girl-daddy,” Suzann [That's his now ex-wife] says, “he can fix a broken toilet —- and do one of the best ponytails you have ever seen!”

“God has really blessed us with a great church family,” stated Greg, “we are continually learning and experiencing more of God’s awesome glory every week.”

and it was then God noticed Greg and thought "fuck me*, another one of those sanctimonious weasels I fucking hate so much. right, let's fuck with him. how's this for awesome glory, bitch?"

* My imaginary god swears like a sailor.

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 8:51 pm

"girl-daddy"? Wtf does that even mean?
And the statement that he can "…do one of the best ponytails you have ever seen!"
That was a sign, right there, Mrs. Ex-Davis….

Negropolis December 16, 2011 at 9:27 pm

Fukui,

Are you making those quotes up or are they actual ones. "girl-daddy" "do one of the best ponytails" REALLY!?!

Fukui_sanYesOta December 16, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Nope, these really are from his own site

Negropolis December 17, 2011 at 1:22 am

You know what? I can't even snark. This has just gone from funny to plain sadz. Those poor girls. Why must they always bring children into this?

user-of-owls December 16, 2011 at 10:06 pm

At first, I read, "My imaginary god sweats like a sailor," and I thought, "Hmm, maybe god does have something in common with Rick Perry."

mayor_quimby December 17, 2011 at 2:06 am

I have gone my whole life without ever hearing the phrase girl-daddy, and I can think of no good use for it. What's a boy-daddy, or a boy-mommie? I think girl-daddy means exactly what is sounds like.

Schmannnity December 16, 2011 at 8:20 pm

Snark off momentarily. This brief reminder:

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

Somehow, having a corrupt politician who happens to be gay in a small town in Mississippi seems like (lopsided) progress.

ShaveTheWhales December 17, 2011 at 1:12 am

I hadn't thought of it that way … nah, too much of a stretch.

comrad_darkness December 16, 2011 at 8:22 pm

>$170,000 in booze, fancy meals and a TRIP TO A GAY SEX TOY STORE, in Canada.

It's like he was screaming to be caught.

Loaded_Pants December 16, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Flaming to be caught?

Barrelhse December 16, 2011 at 8:34 pm

It seems Monsieur_Grumpe really does read all of them, Katy.

HateMachine December 17, 2011 at 12:19 am

More likely, he's from somewhere nearby. Here in the Memphian subcontinent, this was pretty big news, being the fruits of the latest in a string of investigations into the comically corrupt mayoral offices in the Greater Memphis Area.

Plus, it was pretty funny how this morning's Commercial Appeal (print) managed to completely bury the lede in a sort of well-meaning way. The actual outing was like three paragraphs in and not in the headline, obviously because the editors thought that the corruption should be the big deal, and not the gayness. Naturally, the gayness was all any of the CA's readers talked about all day.

MosesInvests December 18, 2011 at 12:45 am

Excellent use of an otherwise overused catchphrase. Well played!

Sassomatic December 16, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Most people, when they realize they are gay, don't take the company credit card down to the gay sex toy emporium to expense a whole-lotta being-gay-now. I was at work the other day when I realized I hated all humans, but I didn't take the company credit card down to the gun shop. Sheesh.

bagofmice December 16, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Well, dildonics can be a complicated technology.

Negropolis December 16, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Santa has cum early this year!

bagofmice December 16, 2011 at 10:33 pm

I suppose the phase "ho ho ho" is completely irrelevant at this time. If there were only some sort of flying epithet to be given at this time. Reindeer with their leather might be a bit kinky.

Jukesgrrl December 16, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Was the sex toy he bought a remote-controlled pink dildo? If not, scandal FAIL.

Don't they have any trannys in Mississippi that need hunting?

Jukesgrrl December 16, 2011 at 9:35 pm

News about this incident is detailed in a blog called TowleRoad, which describes itself as "a site with homosexual tendencies." The article includes a photo that appears to be Davis' concession for his Congressional bid. The sad family accompanying him is running a close session to our favorite photo of crying child political pawns.

Below the article is a comment from a person named Janie, "He served his wife with divorce papers at a church dayschool here in Southaven (while she was there with her class during a field trip for childhood development) last December." So possibly he was in the process of coming out before his that event was upstaged by his financial indiscretions.

While I have no sympathy for this lying, cheating Baptist Republican, as usual I feel intensely sorry for his family. I can only hope they will retaliate by refudiating Daddy Dearest's hypocritical politics.

Read more: http://www.towleroad.com/2011/12/gop-family-value

user-of-owls December 16, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Ha! That kid looks like she's:

a) got a vicious child-sized migraine; or,
b) blowing her nose in her hands; or,
c) just been pepper-sprayed by Lt. John Pike (invol. ret.)

flamingpdog December 17, 2011 at 12:11 am

Too bad his career in politics is over – the two older girls look like they could have been the next Bush twins.

user-of-owls December 17, 2011 at 12:44 am

They appear to be the anti-Santorums. More ennui, less 1,000-yard stare.

bagofmice December 16, 2011 at 10:18 pm

The hell? We still measure data in pages? And not those 16k page ass bitches, like actual paper?

anniegetyerfun December 16, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Do closeted gay Republicans think that Canada is a magic land where your spending didn't happen? It's not like the language or currency is so different that you can't figure out what went down by looking at some paperwork.

elfgoldsackring December 18, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Shoulda gone to Quebec… If only he had charged "un dildeau (rose, extra-grand)", no-one would ever have figured it out!

ttommyunger December 16, 2011 at 11:20 pm

Wha? Who? Oh, again? Ho-hum, zzzzzzzzzzzz

owhatever December 16, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Damn liberal media. Now I've got to go spend more time with my family. And right at Christmas, too.

aklibtard December 17, 2011 at 1:04 am

First of all, why would some broke as hell town in MS send their mayor to Canada with the city credit card? Second, how the hell did he think he was going to get away with dropping $170,000 worth of shit? Nobody could be this clueless. He must have just been looking for a way to get outed without having to do it himself.

Jukesgrrl December 17, 2011 at 6:51 am

There's a suicide-by-cop joke here somewhere but I'm too tired to figure it out.

mayor_quimby December 17, 2011 at 2:41 am

Hey, hey, hey, there is no evidence that he is racist or bigoted, except against the gays. Or the brown gays. Or the non-christian gays. Or the non-christians. And I'm sure he was secretly in love with a gay liberal, who probably reverse-homophobed him into these vile actions.
Yeah, that all makes sense to me.

poncho_pilot December 17, 2011 at 5:11 am

Dear Greg Davis,

It is nearly 2012. You should try the Internet. You can buy stuff there and have it shipped wherever you like. It is a series of tubes which may or may not entice you more. I won't act like a dick and say FYI because I'm not stuck up and elitist like that. Just trying to help. Be yourself. People will respect and like you more.

Sincerely,
Poncho Benedicto Pacífico Juan María Ramírez Pilot

HelmutNewton December 17, 2011 at 10:38 am

Well, it's pretty obvious. He WANTED to get caught. You know how those closeted self-loathing Republicans are.

Pres.Libunatic December 17, 2011 at 11:36 am

Hey, the Canadians used to have a Progressive Conservative party, so why not this guy too?

Merry Dickcember, everyone!

HarryButtle December 17, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Silly Republican, Bangkok is NOT in Quebec. Sex tourism…YER DOIN' IT WRONG!

El Pinche December 17, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Mississippi's new state song , Don't go back to Cockville

He'll probably blame Obama for making him go to Cockville. "The kenyan marxist and the democrat party is eating me up inside. So I turned to young male penis and heavy drinking."

El Pinche December 17, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Merry Dicktember!! I can't wait for what's in store in Cuntuary.

Isyaignert December 17, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Yes, even Gee Dub is rumored to be a knobgobbler -http://gayswithoutborders.wordpress.com/2007/09/30/george-w-bush-chad-savage/ and http://www.georgewbushisgay.com/

Methinks they doth protest too much.

horsedreamer_1 December 17, 2011 at 4:55 pm

He figured since no one believed his tales of a Canadian girlfriend when he was younger, they wouldn't believe in his gay adventures in Canada, now. Canada — it's as real as Harry Turtledove's alternate history, eh?

MiniMencken December 17, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Isn't Gobbler's Knob the town in Tennessee where they make all of that great whiskey? Or is it Irish cream? I get so confused sometimes with all the news coming at me everytime I turn on the ordinateur to check out some free porn.

FakaktaSouth December 18, 2011 at 9:46 am

HEY! I know that dude!!!
New day, new gay guy playing like he's a Christian Con-servative…however this is the first time I have met one of them (that I know of). We even had the occasion to be conservatively prayed at by this dude in Southaven because of the massive Dizzy Dean baseball allstars tournament they host where my kid played and hubs coached. It was absolutley as over the top as a God-centric Patrio-athletic American Baseballarific event in Mississippi as you wd imagine. Amercan flags out the ass, (prob literally) prayers and good old "ain't we awesome" southern frat boy machismo. And I can say the town LOVED him, gave him soooooo much credit for the outstanding growth in Southaven, and as I say, he was leading the fanfare, bragging on his outstanding "conservative christian right wing republican straight white American maleness." He's very tall, manly, swaggery and obvs had a secret.

Oh well, I guess my son is gay now.

(All that wd actually mean is that we would move sooner than later).

teebob2000 December 19, 2011 at 12:35 pm

That Blingee creator gets the Presidential Medal of Freedom

ndisang67 December 19, 2011 at 2:33 pm

So how much cash back does the city get on sex toys?

rickmaci December 19, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Like most of these "family values" Republitoons, they don't mind if they drop a few points in the pre-election polls, they enjoy the thrill of a come from behind victory.

Flitzy December 20, 2011 at 7:52 am

"And that's why you always pay for your porn with cash." – J. Walter Weatherman

Hoomonkey December 28, 2011 at 4:39 am

The gay thing is bad in that it shows hypocrisy…. But the reason it all acme to light was because he spent $170k at the city's expense while claiming to be conservative! WTF.

An_Outhouse December 16, 2011 at 7:35 pm

those sneaky queers, always sucking on the public's teet. Wait, that analogy doesn't work.

Mojopo December 16, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Bless her heart for trying. Or as my southern relatives say, trine

Negropolis December 16, 2011 at 9:25 pm

Someone just needs to find the mayor a nice, Southern girl, right?

ShaveTheWhales December 17, 2011 at 1:09 am

Um, I'd say if your grandmama even noticed the stealing-from-taxpayers part, she's doing pretty damn well.

flamingpdog December 16, 2011 at 11:53 pm

And a queen.

flamingpdog December 17, 2011 at 12:02 am

"Nice Southern girls" are probably the reason all these closeted Republican clown-politicians are gay.

mayor_quimby December 17, 2011 at 1:50 am

That might work, I have gotten nice southern girls to do some filthy, sexy, illegal, highly morally questionable things.
Seriously, don't let the sweet accent fool you.
(makes mental plans for tomorrow night)

Negropolis December 17, 2011 at 1:31 am

Actually, a "Nice, Southern Girl" can better be translated as "a kinky Southern woman, who will perform unthinkable sex acts on you." Having been ultra-repressed, she's also on the verge of a nervous breakdown, so thata's the downside.

mayor_quimby December 17, 2011 at 1:54 am

Fuck, and YES, as I said below. I don't know if they're freakier than repressed Catholic girls, but a Southern Baptist freak is a damn good find.
*clutches pearls*

hunnybee December 17, 2011 at 6:59 pm

dear Jeebus! the mind just boggles

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