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Still no 'sign' of 'intelligent' life, folks

Laughingstock wingnut Rick Santorum is still running for President? Really? Well according to the filthy sign he is holding up in this photo, he is! No one really knows why, since the cabal of nuthatch Iowa evangelical pastors who might have supported him have officially formed a groupie mob and run away on tour with equally insane person Michele Bachmann to help her shill her book or something, and all Rick now has left is… what, his collection of fetus jars? But while Rick apparently hasn’t clued into the hilarious/disgusting joke of the sign he is clutching so enthusiastically, he has managed to come to the glum conclusion that people think he is a moron. So he will tackle the problem by begging voters to call him “intelligent,” based on his, uh, brilliant new plan to prevent terrorism by harassing brown people at airports.

From the Des Moines Register:

In taking questions, Santorum defended his past remarks in support of profiling people as potential terrorists at airports, saying “Of course not” when asked by a woman whether everyone who looks different from him should be profiled.

“This is common sense. You have to look at what the profile is,” Santorum said, suggesting that if a certain group of people were blowing up buildings they should be subject to profiling.

“I don’t want to be called a xenophobe. I want to be called intelligent,” he added, explaining he wants to protect the United States of America.

Oh who are we kidding, we do not care about Rick Santorum’s self-esteem problems. We mostly wanted to post the fun photo going around the message boards, weeee! [Des Moines Register/ Democratic Underground via Wonkette operative “Monsieur Grumpe”]

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  • Barb

    Snark aside, I hate this man for leaving his 3 year-old sick daughter, whose life is measured in "days and weeks" so that he can campaign, knowing that he has NO chance of winning.

    • SorosBot

      Wait, what's this?

      • Preferred Customer

        http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/gop

        "“I have a little girl who’s 3 1 / 2 years old,” the Republican presidential hopeful said in his dinner speech at the annual “Defenders of Freedom” event, hosted by Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa). “I don’t know whether her life is going to be measured — it’s always been measured — in days and weeks. Yet here I am” — on the road so often, he was the first of the current GOP contenders to visit all 99 Iowa counties. Why? “Because I feel like I wouldn’t be a good dad if I wasn’t out here fighting for a country that would see the dignity in her and every other child.”"

        • Barb

          Thanks for the link, PC.

        • MzNicky

          According to the WaPo link, Santorum has also "given up all paid employment, including his work for Fox News, to make the run" for president.

          Uh … and he brings this heartbreak up at a dinner speech, why? To talk about the evils of health-care reform? or what?

          uggh.

          • WootInTarnation

            That little lady's doing her job. Providing Daddy with talking points and grabbing some sympathy votes. What's wrong with her anyway? They seem to have more breeding disasters than the Hapsburgs.

            As to his choice of leaving his child on death's door to traipse fecklessly along the campaign trail a la Don Quixote sans Sancho Panza, I get the sense that the Santorums, like good corporate managers, added a few kids to their child budget in case of losses, natural disasters or down-sizing. That's evidence of sound financial management right there. And a sign of experience. First I've seen from him. Oh, except for Mrs. Santorum's shrewd creation of "Sound of Music" style family outfits cut from one or two bargain bolts.

            Does he actually keep little zombie fetus in a jar? I wonder what color dye they use to bring out the stunning blue highlights in its eyelid veins? This one's bound to be bigger, so I think they should go with something more American Museum of Natural History… a stunning diorama depicting little Roseasharn in her Sunday Best kneeling at a re-creation of the family pew? Or perhaps a cunningly crafted underwater scene with river weeds and minnows… and a large, toothy pike in the background for dramatic tension.

        • SorosBot

          Ugh; and he was specifically campaigning on repealing health care reform, which is fighting for a country that doesn't see dignity in every child, but would go back to refusing treatment for kids like her; the swine.

          • Barb

            Remember the mom who left her kids at home to join OWS? Fox said she should be "investigated" Why does Rick not get the same scorn from them?

          • Sue4466

            Because he's a man and she's a woman.

          • GOPCrusher

            Rick is running for the Republiklan nomination.
            She's just a filthy hippie promoting Obama's Class War.

          • Judith_Priest

            And those kids were teens! And she was leaving them with their *father*!

            If she'd gone off to tour with the Tea Party, or with Ted Nugent, the RW wouldn't have said squat about it.

        • pdiddycornchips

          WTF???

          Republicans use the term "family values" but I'm pretty sure they have no idea what it means.

          • Swampgas_Man

            Sure they do; Ricky-Rick values his daughter as a campaign prop; like a fetus-in-a-bottle, but slightly older.

          • DaRooster

            Hey… they held their fetus in a blanket… not a jar/bottle/etc…

          • Swampgas_Man

            Sorry, all clumps of dead cells look alike to me.

          • DaRooster

            Well, to be fair… holding fetai in any way (outside of a womb) is not all that attractive.

          • Biff

            Of course he understands family values. There's a monetary angle in this, isn't there? Also-when this one shuffles off, he'll just make another one…

          • tessiee

            "I'm pretty sure they have no idea what it means."

            Punishing women for having sex, duh!

        • Sue4466

          So, not only did he leave her at home, he's willing to trade on her illness to advance his (pointless) campaign.

          That's exactly how you observe the dignity of her life.

          • tessiee

            "That's exactly how you observe the dignity of her life."

            Well, shit, it's not like she's a fetus or anything.

        • fuflans

          In a heartbreaking situation, and running near the back of the pack in the polls, Santorum said the campaign has been “incredibly hard” on his family —

          you arrogant, ignorant bigot: WE DON'T WANT YOU!! EVEN YOUR WINGNUT BASE DOESN'T WANT YOU!! GO HOME AND SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR SICK CHILD!!

          it's not a heartbreaking situation, it's self-righteous ego run amok.

          god.

        • Chichikovovich

          Santorum continued: "And I don't want to be called a despicable talibangelist hypocrite who showed more affection for the lifeless corpse of a 20-week old fetus shoved in the faces of children of 6, 4, and 1 1/2 to `kiss and cuddle' than he does for a real, living child who is steps away from a lonely death without the father who is kissing Steve King's ass for a handful of Iowa votes in a contemptible effort to impose his lunatic, hateful worldview on every American, I want to be called intelligent."

          • Biff

            My guess, he's gonna need a bigger jar for this one.

            And Slowhansolo beat me by 2 hours. Why do I bother?

    • In his defense, she already passed through the birth canal, so what she makes of her life at this point is really up to her. If she had wanted compassion, she shouldn't have been born to a conservative household. Bootstraps, people! But yeah, he's a complete shit, and if his kids were more to him than soul vessels or whatever the hardcore goddites consider us, he should be home, at least pretending to care about his daughter.

      • WootInTarnation

        Damn right! Cain's right where he wanted to be when he decided to enter the race: out of it safely before things get too ugly (closer shave than he'd of liked, granted), selling more books, increasing future speaking fees and improving the odds of a FauxNews gig. Aside from the crazytrain pseudo-success run that came upon him and the unfiltered Pall Mall Man for a month or so, everything's going just as planned.

        Desperately crawling back to a position from which I can logically respond to your comment: Cain would tell that cute little bundle of Santorum that if she lives or dies, she's only got her self to blame. Bootstrap it just like the hundreds of other babies forced into precarious living situations because their mothers couldn't afford, or were bullied out of having, abortions, or had no access to birth control.

        Once you take that first breath kid, yer on yer own. Don't come crawlin' to us with all yer cries for special privileges. Special privileges are meted out to those who've been grandfathered in, or who can afford the $500k/annum club fee. Now get to work! I know yer small, but a baby can lick a floor clean just as well as an adult or an 8-year-old tenured janitor.

    • HarryButtle

      Never even heard this story. I didn't think I could have a lower opinion of Rick Santorum than I already had…guess I was wrong about that.

    • Wow. I guess they're going to need a bigger jar this time.

    • Tommmcattt

      Vile. Absolutely vile.

    • Guppy

      Meh, if he loses one kid he'll just make more, just like Catholic Jesus wants.

    • Biff

      It might be easier to hate him more if he'd bring the child out on the campaign trail, like another grifter you might've heard of…

    • chicken_thief

      Shouldn't that kid be cleaning the shitter in a school somewhere by now? WTF, get a job, you little malingerer!!!

  • nounverb911

    Needs more Gabriel Santorum.

  • Pragmatist2

    I wanted to be called "Super Stud of the Year" but it ain't going to happen

    • "And hillbillies want to be called 'Sons of the Soil,' but it ain't gonna happen."

    • Tommmcattt

      My bid to be called "Swingin' 12" didn't go over either.

      Reality can be more insistent than gravity sometimes.

    • LetUsBray

      Just once I'd like someone to call me "Sir" without adding "You're making a scene."

  • GOPCrusher

    That Santorum For President sign looks like it was drawn with santorum.

    • WunkRocker

      You know when I saw that yesterday I wondered how long that would stay off of Wonkette. Looks like about 12 hours. Another thing, Ricky would like someone to fix the Google Search for his name. Also.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    OK. Who let Rick into the finger paint?

    • BornInATrailer

      Why would you assume he used his finger?

      • It's too thick for any other appendage?

      • He used his assfinger.

        • BornInATrailer

          Never get them mixed up. It's like dry hand/wet hand when you are battering something.

        • WunkRocker

          Worst. Bond. Villain. Ever.

          • BornInATrailer

            I dunno, Rim Job was pretty bad.

    • Actually looks like he used santorum.

    • DaRooster

      He… um… found it in his… well… you know.

      • Gleem_McShineys

        "Campaign Speech Repository"?
        Commonly known as an asshole

    • YasserArraFeck

      It's a somewhat literate Dirty Sanchez

  • SnarkoMarx

    Amazing sphincter control on the person who made that sign.

    • Tundra Grifter

      I used to have trouble writing my name in the snow while taking a pee.

    • Extemporanus

      The artist's earlier work was not nearly so refined.

      [NSFW!!]

      • Judith_Priest

        Talk about somebody who just has Art shootin' out her ass!

      • Biff

        Oh my gawd.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Are there kegel exercises for the butt?

    • Pat_Pending

      GODDAMN IT, I was just going to write that. Er, type that. With my fingers.

  • Wouldn't red santorum signify some kind of problem or something?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Could be colored lube.

  • Filthy sign indeed–looks like some blood along with the usual frothy mix. Might have cancer of the asshole, Rick.

    • Jerri

      He's the kind of guy that makes you sort of feel sorry for the cancer.

    • HogeyeGrex

      It would certainly be cancer of The Asshole Rick, anyhow.

      • DaRooster

        I was thinking,"Cancer of the Rick, Asshole."

        • tessiee

          So, the P is silent?

    • vtxmcrider

      Of course he has cancer of the asshole. Just listen to the uncontrollable nonsense that comes out of there.

    • Bonghits4Jesus

      "cancer of the asshole, Rick." Hmm, something circular about that.

  • RedRum
    For
    President

  • edgydrifter

    OK, Rick. You call me "Viceroy" and I'll call you "intelligent."

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Uwwww, what's that sign written with?

    • Gleem_McShineys

      I remember as a kid, giggling whenever we were told we had to use a "Number 2 Pencil" for tests.

      I had no idea there really was such a thing.

  • boobookitteh

    Well, stop saying stupid shit then.

    You're welcome.

  • Profiling also works for politicians. For example, if someone's running for president, it's mostly because they're grifting whores. LOOK AT THE PROFILE, PEOPLE!

  • SorosBot

    "“This is common sense. You have to look at what the profile is,” Santorum said, suggesting that if a certain group of people were blowing up buildings they should be subject to profiling."

    So we should be profiling white Christian veterans who love guns?

    • GOPCrusher

      Just the ones that are trying to purchase the products needed to make Ricin.

    • TEBOW IS A TERRORIST!!!! Don't let him throw the Bomb!

      • DaRooster

        You never know where it'll go.

    • YouBetcha

      Yes, yes we should. I have a bad feeling that the next time something goes boom boom, it'll be from our own homegrown nutters.

      • SorosBot

        Hell, we've had several attacks and attempts since Obama became President; luckily none of them have managed to kill all that many people yet, with Loughner the worst so far.

    • Walkinwiddaking

      Maybe if we did we could have averted Oklahoma City. Jesus, I'm sounding like Santorum.

  • GOPCrusher

    At the education forum stop at the University Of Northern Iowa, someone took the time to point out to Rick that in 2002, he awarded Jerry Sandusky the "Angels Of Adoption" award for the good works that he was doing with youth through the Second Mile program.
    He then followed it up with the statement "You don't want us to trust our children to President Obama, but you want us to trust our children to you."
    Hilarity ensued.

    • SorosBot

      Santorum is Catholic, so he should have some experience with authority figures who do "good works" with youth and their higher-ups who cover for them.

  • HarryButtle

    “I don’t want to be called a xenophobe. I want to be called intelligent,” he added, explaining he wants to protect the United States of America.

    Yea, and I want to be perpetually 22 years old and obscenely wealthy, but…um…reality.

    • HistoriCat

      Sure Fredo – you're smart.

      Now who wants to take Ricky fishing?

    • tessiee

      "I want to be perpetually 22 years old and obscenely wealthy"

      If memory serves, being 22 years old was rather overrated, so I'll settle for being obscenely wealthy.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Yeah … make it 29, and we'll talk.

  • And I don't want to be called Actor212 but Nelson Rockefeller, but Rick? We can't all have nice things.

  • Beowoof

    Intelligent doesn't apply here, asshole is the appropriate word for Rick.;

  • cheetojeebus

    Oh dear god. You vindictive mother fucker, why are you subjecting us to this hideous 'trial' ?
    Do we really deserve this frothy excretion! I'd much prefer locusts or frog rain.

    Nice sign and also.

  • DaRooster

    “I don’t want to be called a xenophobe… I want to be called a homophobe."

  • Jerri

    And with that I have no choice but to believe a Wonketeer is managing his image.

    Additionally:
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

  • Nostrildamus

    Rick Santorum: America's caganer.

  • Joshua Norton

    “This is common sense. You have to look at what the profile is,” Santorum said, suggesting that if a certain group of people were blowing up buildings they should be subject to profiling.

    “I don’t want to be called a xenophobe. I want to be called intelligent,”

    You know, he could just as easily have said, "I'm a Fox News educated moron" using far fewer words.

  • Sweet Baby Jeebus…that's one frothy sign, Rick! Oh, and don't even get me started with that turtleneck sweater…

  • StarsUponThars

    Here's what I don't understand: Rick-with-a-Silent-P knows what "santorum" is because he asked Google to remove the link to the urban definition. Why in God's name would he allow himself to be photographed while holding a sign made of poopy diapers?

    • OurHoboSenator

      Because he was thrilled to receive Senator Vitter's endorsement, that's why.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Because he really is that fucking dim.

    • Sue4466

      Because he wants to be called "intelligent"?

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Poor Rick. Seriously, what does this man do to earn money? He has about 20 kids & God knows his wife doesn't work (outside the home–she's probably always on her knees thanking God that Rick is gone), but I digress. Does this running for president gig earn you any money? If so, Texan Bulldog 2016! (Going to go with Barry this year.)

    • SorosBot

      Before he officially started his campaign, the geniuses who run the Philadelphia Inquirer, in a very liberal city in the state that overwhelmingly rejected him in 2006, actually paid him to spew drivel on their editorial page once a week.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Probably for the lulz and irony, though.

        • I used to love Bone Lulz-n-Irony! Their flow was melodic, yet rapid-fire and aggressive!

          • tessiee

            Yeah!
            That's those two guys with the car show on the radio, right?
            "Don't drive like my brother!"

        • Swampgas_Man

          Naw, it was for "Journamalistic Balance", like if you have an intelligent, well-written opinion, you balance it w/ Santorum's.

    • HogeyeGrex

      she's probably always on her knees thanking God…

      Or, y'know, anybody else who walks through the door.

      With or without twenty bucks.

      • DaRooster

        Egg Money… so to speak.

    • Seriously, he gets money funneled to him by some wingnut Christian group called the Ethics and Public Policy Center. He's also the recipient of cash from an insurance industry front called America's Foundation. And heaven knows how much conservative money came to him for inventing the term "Islamic Fascism" which was wildly popular for awhile. I would also guess that he's on some kind of Catholic payroll, too, given the dedication he applies to blaming the child sex scandals on "liberals from Boston." If nothing else, the Knights of Malta probably bought a million dollars worth of his wife's abortion-bad/home-schooling-good screeds. Not to mention, he'll be back on Ailes' payroll the minute his presidential "campaign" is declared over. What do you want to bet he's an "analyst" at their coverage of the Republican convention?

  • SexySmurf

    I just Googled "intelligent," and you don't want to know what came up.

    • RadioYKWE

      Savage.

  • taylormattd

    Is it just me, or is that sign written in blood and feces?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Menstrual blood.

    • Writen in santorum, prolly.

  • BornInATrailer

    You know who else was a shitty painter?

    • GOPCrusher

      The guy who did the pictures in my office? Looks like something you would see in a Motel 6 lobby.

    • LeRoy Neiman?

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        We do not want to violate the Geneva Convention.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Famed DUI of light painter, Thomas Kinkade?

      • SheriffRoscoe

        Beat me to it!

      • tessiee

        Not sure where I read this, but the guy who works at the convenience store near Thomas Kincaide's summer home said that Kincaide used to come in all the time and buy the cheapest beer they had and porno mags that specialized in Gigantic Asses.

        • BornInATrailer

          And now I like him a little more.

    • SexySmurf

      Chris Ofili?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Thomas Kinkade?

      Edit: Dang, there were zero replies to that when I clicked enter. Stupid slow government computer.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      Thomas Kinkade Hitler?

    • SayItWithWookies

      David Hockney?

    • Sylvester Stallone?

    • Gleem_McShineys

      Piero Manzoni?

      Well, he's more of a multimedia artist…
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artist's_shit

    • Callyson

      Jeff Koons?

    • snackypants

      The monkey at this pet store I used to go to as a child that would fling its poo against the glass window?

    • Biff

      Yoko Ono?

    • Negropolis

      Koko the Gorilla?

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Was that sign written by a caganer?

    • vtxmcrider

      Yes, one that just had anal sex. Like Ricky himself.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Great…now I have an image of a fundy-teabagger butt scooting across the paper like a dog with ass worms.

  • Goonemeritus

    “I don’t want to be called a xenophobe. I want to be called intelligent,”

    Well I don’t want to be thought of as middle age white guy (MAWG)/ pear shaped corporate goon I would much rather be looked at as a potential Calvin Klein underwear model.

    • GOPCrusher

      I want to be called Peter North.

      • YouBetcha

        How far can you spew Santorum?

    • Barrelhse

      Men's underwear?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Ask and ye shall receive, Rick:
    "You're intelligent, dumbfuck."

  • sbj1964

    Poor Rick Santorum, " I am a pretty GIRL ! Why doesn't any body love me? Marsha,marsha,marsha !"

  • nonbeliever7

    Maybe he'll go away if we wave a box of kleenex at him.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Sure, Rick — you're intelligent, Newt is a man of ideas, Mitt's a conservative, Jon Huntsman is electable, Ron Paul doesn't stay flat and Michele can find Africa on a map. It's fuckin' Christmastime, so don't say I never gave you anything.

    • Negligently_Joe

      A six-pack of LIES?

  • goondogger

    That stinks.

  • Profile, my ass. Rick is just lazy and is telling the peoplez to let their stereotypes run wild.

    I was talking the other day with a friend who just came back from the Haj and he was complaining about the frickin' Saudis who own Mecca. Since the House of Saud still rules, it's the Wahhabi way or the highway. This Divine behavior includes the local coppers, as Ali said "the fucking assholes," whipping women if a lock of hair shows. Santorum and his ilk would love to bring similar controls, but conservetard Xtain horseshit, to the good ol' USA.

    / rant off

    • tessiee

      "the Wahhabi way or the highway"

      Oh, I can't stand that stuff!
      …although I do like the miso soup they give ya.

  • OneYieldRegular

    This really is brilliant. Why didn't anyone think of it before? Profiling people from every ethnic group that's ever blown up a building should yield astonishing results.

    • That would RUIN St. Patrick's Day.

      • GOPCrusher

        Bartender! I would like an Irish Car Bomb, please!

  • x111e7thst

    If my potted geranium was only as intelligent as that creep Santorum I would shit-can the thing and get a box of rocks.

  • When I first saw that picture I thought it had to photoshopped, how could he be that stupid but noooooooooo.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      The only thing that would make it better would be if he were wearing latex gloves.

    • chicken_thief

      It's clearly so deviously intelligent that we just don't get it. Like he's the zen master of 3D chess and we're still putting checkers in our mouth.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    He doesn't want to be called a xenophobe mainly because none of his followers can spell or pronounce that word.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      They know what it means though. It means a person who is afraid of xenos.

    • not that Dewey

      Is he running as a write-in?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You would think Santorum would be more careful about profiling, as there are many questions about what is up his own ass.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Admittedly, a bit of the pot calling the kettle Muslim:
    http://www.americablog.com/2011/05/top-mccain-aid

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    What does it say about Rick Santorum that a party that was perfectly happy to consider Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry and Herman Cain finds him too stupid and foolish to rise above 10% in the poling?

    Hell, the Paul rEVOLution crushes Santorum. Literally.

    • GOPCrusher

      This just in. Only 17% of the likely Iowa Caucus voters polled say that they are firm in their support.
      So there is still hope for Rick Santorum.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        To get good Santorum, you need to be over 90% firm.

    • Barrelhse

      Rick is rEVOLting.

    • tessiee

      "the Paul rEVOLution crushes Santorum. Literally."

      Really? Do you have a link? Cause I'd sure enjoy watching a video of that.

  • mourningnmerica

    The Goddishness in this man should be a beacon to all of us.

  • mourningnmerica

    He's so Goddy.

  • BornInATrailer

    "“I don’t want to be called a xenophobe. I want to be called intelligent”

    Talk about not understanding the GOP base.

    • GOPCrusher

      Obviously, he's not pandering to the Tea Baggers.

    • tessiee

      Well, he didn't say he wanted to actually *be* intelligent, he just said he wanted to be *called* intelligent, and he didn't specify by whom.

      It reminds me of an old Nicole Hollander comic where a woman is trying to make a deal with the Devil. She says she wants to look thin. The Devil says, "Sorry, we don't do weight loss. If we got into that, we wouldn't have time for anything else". She says no, she just wants to *look* thin. The Devil says, "Oh, clouding men's minds? Sure, that's one of our specialties. Sign right here."

  • PuckStopsHere

    Using readily available–and free–anal leakage instead of expensive paints when producing your campaign signage just makes good economic sense in these tough times. Plus, anal leakage is better for the environment. (Okay, I made that last part up.)

  • BarackMyWorld

    “I want to be called intelligent.”

    And the Republican voters want better presidential candidates. Life's full of little disappointments.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "And the Republican voters want better presidential candidates."

      Really? Remarkable claims require remarkable proof.

  • mourningnmerica

    Based on the previous fetus passing party he had with his family, I fear for the corpse of this poor child once she passes. He will probably take it on tour with him in the primaries. I mean, that's how much he loves Jesus.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      "… and for a $5 campaign contribution, you can touch her!"

    • poncho_pilot

      fetus in a jar?

      worst. ventriloquist act. ever.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Fetus in a gottle-o'-geer.

        • flamingpdog

          Fetus, don't fail me now!

          • tessiee

            I must say, that's a rather de-fetus attitude.

  • Nostrildamus

    Rick Santorum: master of anal cursive.

    • poncho_pilot

      Comic Sanstorum.

  • Sue4466

    "I want to be called intelligent,” is not something intelligent people need to say Ricky.

    • Judith_Priest

      It even happens to *me*, and I never wanted it to!

      (I compensate by being one of the laziest human beings alive. If intelligence can't help you get out of work, what good is it?)

  • Extemporanus

    "Madam, how like you this sign?"

    "The laddie froth protests too much, methinks."

  • elviouslyqueer

    “We believe in bottom up… and people rising without being vilified for doing so."

    I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, RICK.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Rickie needs to take a page from the right wing nutz' Playbook – just keep telling people over and over and over again how smart you are.

    So far, at least with some of the people it's worked all of the time for Ole Newt, Off-the-Mark Levin, Boss "I wasn't wrong; I was misinformed" BlunderRush, The Silly Savage, and the rest of their ilk.

  • What I want to know is, how did those people in the airports become brown?

  • not that Dewey

    Ricky wants to be called "intelligent", and people in hell want icewater.

    • tessiee

      I want a solid gold toilet, but that's not gonna happen, baby! — Austin Powers

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Sigh, never mind.

  • widestanceshakedown

    The voters will need to see you do or say something intelligent first, pooplube.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I want to be called "Baldar, Master of All He Surveys," but it ain't gonna happen, except maybe in my living room.

    • GOPCrusher

      And the wife isn't home.

    • proudgrampa

      Hey, Master of the Living Room ain't so bad!

    • Barrelhse

      Baldar, if you change your name to "Yertle" you might have a chance.

  • proudgrampa

    "“I don’t want to be called a xenophobe. I want to be called intelligent”

    What does that even MEAN???

    • tessiee

      It means that Ol' Frothy wants us to indulge in doublethink/doublespeak for his convenience. He wants to be a xenophobe without being called on his, er-uh, shit, and he wants to be called intelligent without having to actually having to think, do, or say anything above the intellectual level of a reasonably bright chimpanzee.

  • owhatever

    Ricky, your party hates intelligent people. They think a xenophobe plays tinkling music with small drumsticks. Needs more Bush.

    • chicken_thief

      There's your cue, Xtine!!!

  • Negligently_Joe

    “I don’t want to be called a xenophobe. I want to be called intelligent,”

    How about, no?

    Signed,
    A former Pennsylvania resident.

  • proudgrampa

    The more I look at that picture, the more I realize that Rick is dumber than a doorknob.

  • elfgoldsackring

    I want my money back. No matter how hard I beat it, this shit-log only shits shit. Runny blood-stained shit.

  • superdave

    Please, voters! Rick begs you. Please stop calling him "That Fucking Douchebag"!

    • tessiee

      ???
      I thought Santorum was "Frothy Mix" and Joe Walsh was "That fucking douchebag"?

  • El Pinche

    I'm no John McNaughton but that sign is way too chunky… it looks more like 2 parts poop, 1 part semen.

  • finallyhappy

    Surely he(or any of his "advisors") knows he is a lost cause. If this little girl is really sick(and he is not just claiming this for sympathy- I put nothing beyond these GOP scumbags), why is he not at home for the short time she has left? I guess this is another example of the fine family values for which the GOP is known.

    • Barrelhse

      What a pompous little douchebag he is. He probably believes really hard that Jesus is his friend and God wants him to run (if I may use that word). His blind faith is more important than his youngest daughter, which brings into question his ability to fucking think. And if he doesn't believe he has been "called" then why is he wasting his time campaigning?
      Silly son-of-a-bitch.

  • SpiderCrab

    Rick, you tower over Rick Perry.

    • vtxmcrider

      I can see the image of Perry on all fours here, begging for a little Santorum Santorum.

      • chicken_thief

        "Don't call me daddy, call me Intelligent.!"

  • Callyson

    " I want to be called intelligent"
    Will this do?
    The problem with the theory of intelligent design is that it cannot explain lifeforms such as Rick Santorum…

  • lochnessmonster

    So the only thing missing from Sanitorums campaign is a book he can sell?

  • flamingpdog

    “Like Lasch said, ‘We all get up every day and tell ourselves lies so we can live.’ We all do it; I’m not pointing the finger. . . .

    I can live with the telling yourself lies so you can live part, douchebag – it's the telling us lies so you can be Prezdint that makes you such a a frothy fartsack.

  • Loaded_Pants

    Poop on a sign–pretty much sums up Santorum completely.

  • Rotundo_

    If he wasn't a horrible excuse for a human being, I would feel sorry for a man who has wasted uncounted hours treading the small towns of Iowa looking for kindred souls to launch his quixotic campaign for president. The fool has spent almost a year, and this away from a dying daughter he loves for what? He will have made it to the ballot and that is it. At what point is a candidacy just a symptom of a mental illness?

  • sbj1964

    Rick Santorum suffers from the Jan Syndrome" Mitts the pretty one ,Newts the smart one.Middle child woes.

  • ttommyunger

    If Santorum wins will he have to give up his gig as Johnny Tambourine on "Saul of the Mole Men"?

  • ttommyunger

    BTW, I'd like to be called "The Grand Poobah of Upper Butt-Crack".

  • Walkinwiddaking

    And Rick Santorum is latin for wussyoppurtunisticdouchebag?

    • Walkinwiddaking

      You know, we as a country have a lot of faults. But, being able(so far) to call someone who is running for POTUS a wussyoppurtunisticdouchebag is still kinda cool.

  • fitley

    What is the font on his sign? Turdettica Bold?

  • aklibtard

    Why did he write his sign in aborted gay anchor baby blood?

  • Bonghits4Jesus

    Santorum is as intelligent as Intelligent Design is.

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