war on christmas

Foreigners Delight In Sarah Palin Pooping On Nativity Set

Watch Sarah Palin 'write another book.'Outside of America, the world is apparently filled with various foreigners. What do they do, and why? These answers mostly elude us, but occasionally we can get a glimpse of the mysterious ways of the foreigns, especially if there’s an “American politics angle.” For example, in parts of Spain there is an ancient tradition of placing a whimsical figurine called a caganer within the region’s elaborate nativity displays. Caganer means “little pooper” — because that’s what it is, and that’s what it does. The caganer is a mischievous figure always found within the Christmas displays of Catalonia and Valencia, as well as in parts of Italy, France and Portugal. It is always seen crouched with its pants around its ankles, with a pile of poop behind it. And finally, in the charming Catholic-Catalan culture, a purpose has been found for the figure of Sarah Palin.

The tradition of the caganer may go back as far as the 7th Century — archaeologists have reportedly identified a votive deposit showing a Visigoth holy warrior defecating on his ancient Iberian sword. Catalonia very much enjoys the use of poop as a Christmas treat, from the whimsical caganer to the Tió de Nadal (“shit log”) which is kept in the house and “fed” over the advent season, and then finally …. let’s just quote Wikipedia here:

On Christmas day or, depending on the particular household, on Christmas Eve, one puts the tió partly into the fireplace and orders it to “shit” (the fire part of this tradition is no longer as widespread as it once was, since many modern homes do not have a fireplace). To make him “shit”, one beats him with sticks, while singing various songs of Tió de Nadal.

The tió does not drop larger objects, as those are considered to be brought by the Three Wise Men. It does leave candies, nuts and torrons. Depending on the part of Catalonia, it may also give out dried figs. When nothing is left to “shit”, it drops a salt herring, a head of garlic, an onion or “urinates.” What comes out of the tió is a communal rather than individual gift, shared by everyone present.

See, this is why Spain does not need “GOP debates” at Christmastime. Anyway, in our dumb modern era even the Catalonians are not satisfied with their delightful pagan traditions, so they now purchase novelty caganer figures based on notorious people such as Earth’s least-loved grifter, Sarah Palin. You can buy one here, the end. [Caganer.com via Metafilter]

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    1. Dimitrios_M

      Sarah’s finally made it into the Bigs.

      She’s up there with Dora, the Explorer, Hello Kitty and SpongeBob, SquarePants as a shit dispenser. Only in Sarah’s case, it’s a literal personification as well as metaphoric.

  1. Callyson

    Saint Sarah is not going to like this. That figure makes her look 20 years older.
    (opening a new browser window so I can buy one or ten…)

  2. memzilla

    Mooselini, your destiny is revealed!

    Only improvement: have the poop be in the shape of Roger Ailes' head, resting on a base molded to the shape of the USA.

  3. Generation[redacted]

    When Sarah Palin poops — whether out her mouth or on her Facebook page — it is a gift we all share.

  4. Beowoof

    Ah so this would be how Sarah actually views the constitution. And if it really was Sarah poop, I would think that pile would have to much much larger. She is dropping elephant loads every time she talks.

  5. Pragmatist2

    The Sarah Palin model will not work because no matter how much they beat her she will still be full of shit.

  6. Bluestatelibel

    I would also like to hear about some whimsical German Xmas traditions. Oh wait, Wonkette covered that yesterday.

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      I think a "Dirty Jobs" quote is appropriate here… "I'm covered in lube and feathers. It's like a German porn movie."

  7. Joshua Norton

    To make him “shit”, one beats him with sticks,

    Sounds like a typical Saturday night in any Alaskan barroom.

  8. Redhead

    "What comes out of the tió is a communal rather than individual gift, shared by everyone present."

    Sounds communist. SHIT LIBEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. El Pinche

    First time I heard of this tradition was on Anthony Bourdain last night. Sadly, I live vicariously through the Travel Channel .

  10. Major Thom

    The Mitt Romney household has something similar, with a little statue of Dad crapping real $10,000 bills out of his butt.

    1. flamingpdog

      They also have one of the family dog, in a cage, on top of the car, with the poop attached to the back window of the car.

    2. LakeLucilleLoon

      The Palin household was also trying (unsuccessfully) to get Todd Palin to shit out some more millions in a reality show.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      He's probably got a bigger "dump," if you know what I mean…

      Clicking around on that site, looks like they are pretty equal opportunity—everyone from Fidel Castro to Queen Elizabeth II is available to shit on your Navidad.

  11. prommie

    I would rather poop ON Sarah Palin, than see her poop on something else. Can we design a "Sarah Palin toilet figurine," that we could put in the toilet bowl as a target?

  12. SayItWithWookies

    "You know, people might be offended by poop, but like most hardworking Americans I poop too, and there's nothing to be ashamed about a little bathroom break now and then — that's one of the wonderful everyday things that great Americans do, especially up here in Alaska where it gets pretty cold in the winter time and there's nothing better on those long winter nights after hunting moose or ice road trucking or in your yupiak chasing down walrus on the ice floes than coming home and rushing to the can and sitting down with some magazines — or all of them — and informing myself of what's going on in the lower forty-eight which is what we like to call the rest of America and thinking about these wild places and the productivity that makes Alaska great and my family and little Trig and wishing everybody the greatest gift that Jesus could offer which is this great country and all the freedom that it embodies. And that's what I think about poop."

    1. Negligently_Joe

      I'm not ashamed to admit that I poop, but it doesn't take a political expert to realize that there's something wrong when our children are no longer able to poop in school, but our politicians poop in public and call it a GOP debate.

    2. Geminisunmars

      Too bad her 15 minutes are up. You could have made some nice side money with an imitative talent like that.

  13. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, someone has finally found something useful to do with Sarah Palin, and something is good at?

    However, knowing her, she is getting 30% off the top of all sales.

  14. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Are we sure that is not a statue of what Sarah told Todd was the only way he was getting any from now on after he knocked her up with Trig?

  15. Chichikovovich

    Outside of America, the world is apparently filled with various foreigners

    Greetings from Paris – sneaking a posting in before the stern eye of the session moderator catches me. Just wanted to pass on a report from the field: Yes. Yes, it is absolutely true. You can't turn around here without bumping into another foreigner. The place is lousy with 'em.

    1. LesPaultard

      Sitting here in Kuwait…same damned problem. But here they're all wearing dresses, even the guys. At least, I think they're guys.

    2. Negligently_Joe

      I hear those French-flavor foreigners are incredibly rude, too; why I'm told they don't even have the common courtesy to speak English in public, all the time.

    3. Jukesgrrl

      "Tell 'em they need to consult with Disney so they can learn to speed up these long lines [at The Louvre]."

      (Yes, I actually DID hear an American tourist utter those words. He was from Texas. I'm sure you're shocked.)

  16. mayor_quimby

    This is awesome! Was it inspired by the mention on the No Reservations Xmas special last night? They talked about the shitting log with some Catalun folks. I had to rewind it to be sure I was hearing correctly, and the animation of kids beating a log until it shitted candy was very cool.
    Also, the omitted Krampus animation has to be seen to be believed, I sent it to all my friends with kids. Do yourself a favor and view it here: http://gawker.com/5867091/travel-channel-pulls-to

  17. Mumbletypeg

    Whichever continental drifter is in Palin's crosshairs for denigrating her name– this idea belongs right up there in the great tradition of subversive pranks in the Yukon tradition of arctic "poetry slams" that brought you Ballad of the Ice-Worm Cocktail (you'll thank me.. I think) and other Robert Service mock-ups. I hope Sarah's notoriety-flagon isn't too overflowing to understand or accommodate this.

  18. Biff

    Too bad this didn't come out while she was still in office. She'd have to fill out so much paperwork for each one she received as a "gift"!

  19. Negligently_Joe

    My sister brought me back a caganero as a birthday present, from her semester abroad in Spain. I didn't know how to take it at first, and was vaguely offended, but now it adorns my toilet tank as a sort of mascot, or spirit totem.

  20. Eve8Apples


    Do they make those in the giant inflatable models because my lawn could use some winter fertilizer?

  21. GeorgiaBurning

    Curse you Wonkette! I thought my shopping was mostly done, then you send that link. If they get here in time I'm sneaking a pooping Sarah and pooping Bush into creches at some of my wingnut associates' houses during the drunken revels.

  22. user-of-owls

    The Catalans have got it all wrong. It should be a figurine of a piece of shit squatting over a Sarah Palin.

  23. Negropolis

    All that I have for this is a well-placed: WTF?

    Really, world, you are messed up. This is just plain weird.

Comments are closed.