PHYSICS HOW DOES IT WORK  11:42 am December 13, 2011

Birther Twits Create Aerial Banner Ad Seen Only By People With X-Ray Vision

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

The birther hobbyists at WorldNetDaily would have liked NFL fans watching some game in Texas to notice their screamy ad, but shit, who knew they’ve been putting domes on the professional football stadiums these days?


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nounverb911 December 13, 2011 at 11:45 am

I'm surprised it wasn't shot down by the Texas Air Force, they can't let anyone get too close to the Mecca of football.

DetectiveGrey December 13, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Hey, you know what they say. Don't mess with football.

Not_So_Much December 13, 2011 at 12:50 pm

"Texas Air Force"? If that's the same outfit for which Dubya "served", presume they're still in the Officers Club doing blow off a stripper's ass.

chicken_thief December 13, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Or Perry has them all out at Niggerhead doing hot sweaty manual labor with their shirts off.

grex1949 December 13, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Unless I'm mistaken, there are Temporary Flight Restrictions in effect over every NFL game these days. Maybe banner-towing outfits can obtain exemptions. If not, it would have been sweet for a couple of F-16s to swoop down and vaporize this dude. Or not, come to think of it. The pilot is probably making $8.00 an hour building time for a job with the airlines. Freedom of speech, also.

horsedreamer_1 December 13, 2011 at 9:58 pm

The Office of the Commissioner of the NFL is in bed with FOX News honey Jane Skinner, so I an sure the League is down with Birthers.

Biel_ze_Bubba December 15, 2011 at 7:49 am

Judging from the state of the parking lots, they missed the game as well. They probably managed to amuse a couple dozen of the maintenance staff.

Barb December 13, 2011 at 11:46 am

How many birthers does it take to change a light bulb?

One to antagonize truth at every turn, decry victory in every defeat, misread or lie about truly epic proportions of settled case law going back hundreds of years, tie up our already overburdened court system with cackling idiocies, enjoy and exploit racism and fear for financial gain, instigate for violence towards elected public officials and root for a civil war while wating for the rapture.

The other to screw in the lightbulb.

SorosBot December 13, 2011 at 12:00 pm

That was epic, Barb.

Barb December 13, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Thanks Soros, I'm just sick of the birthers.

Dashboard Buddha December 13, 2011 at 12:12 pm

The other one doesn't screw in the bulb because birth-a-los like it in the fucking dark.

Chillwaver December 13, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Nice, but the real question is: how many birfers does it take to realize that the stadium roof was closed?

Biel_ze_Bubba December 13, 2011 at 12:30 pm

All of them, Katie.

starfanglednut December 18, 2011 at 7:59 pm


Midway117 December 13, 2011 at 1:16 pm

A real lightbulb or one of those socialist martian death orbs that got Shelly Bachmann all worked up?

JustPixelz December 13, 2011 at 2:12 pm

I reject the premise of your question. Birthers like to stay in the dark, blind to the real world, unwilling to see what is before their eyes. They question the existence of light bulbs and all that that implies.

GOPCrusher December 13, 2011 at 2:19 pm

And it better be one of those standard light bulbs, not one of those fancy elitist energy saving bulbs.

SorosBot December 13, 2011 at 11:54 am

And the World Net Daily people would have had a great opportunity if wasn't for that meddling dome; Cowboys fans are among the few people on Earth who are so mind-bogglingly stupid they might still fall for that birther bullshit.

freakishlywrong December 13, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Soros, it's fucking Texas. That stadium was chock full o' birthers.

OkieDokieDog December 13, 2011 at 11:56 am

Oh this reminds me- I "Tebowed" this morning… and then wiped up the dog puke on the carpet that the little dog had blessed me with overnight (the blessing being that it wasn't on the bed!)

Not_So_Much December 13, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Tebowing = Sharting?

SayItWithWookies December 13, 2011 at 12:01 pm

And of course WND's birth certificate ad is all over Galluadet Radio.

mookwrthwilson December 13, 2011 at 9:58 pm

I hear they are also buying time on Amish public access TV.

user-of-owls December 13, 2011 at 11:30 pm

Don't forget the billboards at the Helen Keller Institute.

nedbeaumontjr December 13, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Superman isReal!

ChernobylSoup December 13, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Looks like Iran has a use for that drone they found.

TheMightyHaltor December 13, 2011 at 1:18 pm

What was Orly Taitz doing in Iran?

GOPCrusher December 13, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Working for Dentists With No Borders?

DaRooster December 13, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Get a fucking life morons… you are doing absolutely NO good to anyone. There is no reason to keep bringing this shit up… how about you ask, "What are the real election results of Gore v. Bush?" Talk about your "fucking things up" cheating shit.

SorosBot December 13, 2011 at 12:11 pm

However, they are wasting their money on a stupid stunt that accomplishes nothing when it could go to supporting their evil causes and doing actual harm; so keep up with the bullshit, crazies.

DaRooster December 13, 2011 at 2:37 pm

They could just stop being Ass Wipes and work together with others bettering their communities, feeding the poor at Christmas, picking up trash along the highway, etc…

(I know… I'm being just as moronic thinking they would ever do any of these things)

philpjfry December 13, 2011 at 12:08 pm

It just boggles my mind. Words fail me, oh no they don't Stupid fucks!

comrad_darkness December 13, 2011 at 12:08 pm

They were advertising to the people who travelled all that way and then forgot they didn't have tickets . . . you know the birthers' natural constituency.

Callyson December 13, 2011 at 12:12 pm

So, they're counting on views from tailgaters who are too drunk to get to the actual game, then? Sounds like they correctly identified the intelligence level of their supporters…
…note to owners of Heinz Field: you do have the Air Force on call in case anyone tries this crap during a Steelers game, right? And you'll release James Harrison on them when they land on the ground? 'K thx…

Chillwaver December 13, 2011 at 12:14 pm


DaRooster December 13, 2011 at 2:39 pm




BaldarTFlagass December 13, 2011 at 12:16 pm

No doubt many of those inside the stadium are already part of the choir. They were simply trying to get their important message to the ticket scalpers outside the stadium.

As a Pats fan, I hate the Giants, but as a 35-year resident of Texas, I hate the Cowboys even more. TIME OUT!!! That was fucking sweet. Two weeks in a row, no less.

Mumbletypeg December 13, 2011 at 12:17 pm

These must be the dimwarts Mike Doughty was referring to in Soul Coughing's song Casiotone Nation when he sang "The People's Republic of Lumps in my Oatmeal!"

not that Dewey December 13, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Lemony-fresh libel!

tihond December 13, 2011 at 12:19 pm

This is almost as dumb as the "ALTAVISTA VINCENT FOSTER!" banner that Drudge fans flew over the 1998 NBA Finals.

johnnyzhivago December 13, 2011 at 12:19 pm

I was under the impression that roof was ALWAYS open during a game so that God could watch his Cowboys?

MildMidwesterner December 13, 2011 at 12:23 pm

The Cowboys & Jesus: Why do all of God's children seem to get into trouble with the law?

Biel_ze_Bubba December 13, 2011 at 12:28 pm

God's seen enough, and he told Rick Perry to shut the fucking roof already.

BaldarTFlagass December 13, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Since the mid-90s, God has pretty much been pissing all over the Cowboys, so much so that Jerry Jones had to build the stadium with the retractable roof.

PubOption December 13, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Well, that was the time that Jerry wanted the city of Irving to divert taxes from the public transit system, in order to fund his super stadium. Irving didn't give him the money, so Jerry suckered Arlington instead.

BaldarTFlagass December 13, 2011 at 4:45 pm

The embarrassing thing is that Arlington fell for the same pitch back in the 1980s and George W Bush's Texas Rangers fucked them but good.

Crank_Tango December 13, 2011 at 7:43 pm

I think it's a manhole cover instead, if ya get my drift.

ManchuCandidate December 13, 2011 at 12:20 pm

It's not like anyone in Dallas would have noticed as they were too busy crying over their latest choke and the rest of US America pointing and laughing at them in full schadefreud-ic glee.

freakishlywrong December 13, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Fer real, I fucking hate the Cowboys. I don't care who's playing them, I always want them to lose. Bonus, homegame: cheerleaders cry.

deanbooth December 13, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Extra Bonus: When the Bushes are there to see them lose. And all those white-haired assholes!

I always say that if Baltimore (=stolen Browns) played the Taliban, I'd root for the Taliban. I don't know what I'd do if Baltimore played Dallas.

BaldarTFlagass December 13, 2011 at 12:29 pm

That was so fucking awesome.
Our divisional secretary and her husband went up to Dallas for the game, she left a note on her desk saying she was on a roadie to go watch the Cowboys kick the Giants' ass.
I printed and taped this to the bottom of her note when I got in Monday morning.:
I do so love it when the Cryboys lose; you can walk out on the porch and hear the sound of rending garments, weeping, and gnashing of teeth from all over the neighborhood.

north_of_moscow December 13, 2011 at 12:40 pm

I have a dear friend – we disagree on everything, especially politics and religion, but we've been drinking beer together for so long, we're past it – who was raised by a Cowboys zealot to be a Cowboys zealot. After that game, after he stomped around the house beating his head with his fists, he had a moment of clarity, looked down at his six-year-old son and said "I never had a choice. I'm going to let you have one." I've known him long enough to know he was serious. It was pretty touching.

BaldarTFlagass December 13, 2011 at 1:34 pm

"raised by a Cowboys zealot to be a Cowboys zealot."

That's how organized religion survives, too.

chicken_thief December 13, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Unfortunately, the only team that I hate worse than the Cowboys is the grossly overrated and poorly coached fucking Giants.

freakishlywrong December 13, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Isn't this shit getting a little old?

Biel_ze_Bubba December 13, 2011 at 12:33 pm

I prefer to think that having the dome closed made no difference whatsoever.

GOPCrusher December 13, 2011 at 12:39 pm


EatsBabyDingos December 13, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I put three cashews in my coffee every morning with the cream, so when I spin the spoon to mix them up I get my whirled nuts daily.

Makes as much sense.

KeepFnThatChicken December 13, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Was there another plane behind that was towing the "OH AND EVOLUTION IS A LIE" banner?

tihond December 13, 2011 at 1:01 pm

There was one, but the pilot didn't take off because he was shocked by how perfectly a banana fit his hand.

GOPCrusher December 13, 2011 at 2:32 pm

In a recent speech in Iowa, Rick Santorum stated that there is absolutely no proof behind evolution and that our political leaders should no longer talk about as if it is a fact.

finallyhappy December 13, 2011 at 4:58 pm

I had a bible lover today at the museum(and I was not in anything to do with evolution or dinosaurs!). He was polite enough at first- because he said God made us all the same but then he started on Planned Parenthood and how they are all about eugenics. And then God(FIos/AT&T) came in- on my side – his cell went off and I moved away. These people can find a way to bring anything they want into anything else.

EatsBabyDingos December 13, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Looking at the parking lot and shadows, it appears to be around noon, and there's only a handful of cars parked in the lots. Maybe because the game was at 8:30 pm.

Like putting tulips in a light socket, birthers aren't the brightest bulbs.

Guppy December 13, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Needs more blimp.

Goonemeritus December 13, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Every mass communication approach is designed to target a subset of the public. William F. Buckley was not talking to the same subset of potential Republicans that WorldNetDaily is trying to influence. Buckley was speaking to Republicans that fancied themselves intellectuals. WorldNetDaily Hopes to capture the attention of the other end of the spectrum long enough to get them to climb off their sister and send them a donation.

chicken_thief December 13, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Republicans who fancied themselves as intellectuals? Where the fuck did they all go?!

EatsBabyDingos December 13, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Richard Lugar is fighting the urge every day.

Steverino247 December 13, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Fighting the urge to climb off his sister?

GOPCrusher December 13, 2011 at 2:34 pm

The ones I know, jumped off the Republiklan bandwagon and now refer to themselves as Conservatives.

chicken_thief December 13, 2011 at 1:07 pm

I think that pic was photoshopped. All the words being spelled correctly is a dead give-away.

ttommyunger December 13, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Professional Sports, WND? Meh. Fuck-em both.

actor212 December 13, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Well, that explains how Dan Bailey got his kicked blocked! He was trying to figure out the banner that only he could see.

Lionel[redacted]Esq December 13, 2011 at 1:30 pm

When will Conservatives get it through their head: Obama wasn't born, he was made in a petri dish in a super secret lab in Hawaii, using a fusion of DNA from Stalin, Hitler, Castro, Mao and the Twelfth Imam. So he doesn't have a birth certificate, just a patent number. He was then handed to Bill Ayere, who took him to Indonesia to train him in the works of Saul Alinsky, bomb making, Islam and Marx. It was only after he sucessfully lead the communist take over of Vietnam that it was felt safe to let Obama back into the Americas, where he received his final training in Harvard Law School in class warfare.

I mean, all of this has been explained a hundred times. Yet they still keep talking about a birth certificate? Were through the looking glass people! Forget about birth certificates. Doesn't his Harvard degree prove that he is un-American enough for you?

Biff December 13, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Black snowflake, you say?

Baconzgood December 13, 2011 at 1:39 pm

ahhhhh….Fuck it. Need I say more about these birthers. It snarks itself.

BlueStateLibel December 13, 2011 at 2:05 pm

At least that flight of Canadian geese that was flying over at the time finally knows the truth about Nobama!

Bruce388 December 14, 2011 at 10:54 am

If the Canadian geese are from Quebec the banner would have to be in French.

JustPixelz December 13, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Hey, this is a fun game! Let's demand Newt's birth certificate. He was adopted, but from where? And he lived in France — probably attended une école or became part of a ménage au trois.

Crank_Tango December 13, 2011 at 7:57 pm

école anormale inférieure, j'imagine.

Bruce388 December 14, 2011 at 10:55 am

Newt's a ménage au trois all by his own fat self.

Negligently_Joe December 13, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Birther Twits Create Aerial Banner Ad Seen Only By People With X-Ray Vision

Well, how else are they supposed to get Superman to investigate?

actor212 December 13, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Y'know, I know all about "dog whistle words," words that invisibly register with racists and bigots but are blank slates to the rest of us, but this might be the first time I've ever seen them.

sbj1964 December 13, 2011 at 6:10 pm

One thing that is constant about birthers is that they are stupid! Classic I hope Donald Trump payed for that .

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