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That's MRS. Flotus to you...“Remember all those kids doing jumping jacks at the White House in October?” wondered this story. We obviously did not, but here is a reminder: A few months ago, our FLOTUS decided to teach children the value of exercise by obtaining what is nothing short of the Holy Grail for 4th graders, a Guinness World Record. She quickly assembled an army of obese zombie children and convinced them to jump up and down with her on the South Lawn. Yesterday, the jumping jacks were finally tallied, and our Michelle went on The YouTube to announce her victory and remind everyone that they are still fat, despite this.

Here is our FLOTUS, in a lovely red number, gently telling America, “Hey, you’re still going to end up in one of those disgusting monster coffins, unless you keep doing jumping jacks.”

If this is Michelle Obama’s campaign ad for First Lady 2012, we are not anxious to see Marcus Bachmann’s rebuttal. He will probably be forced to eat 300,265 donuts now, to cancel out the whole thing. [YouTube]

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