and now for today's edition of 'awkward moments with mitt romney'

Mitt Romney Tricks Himself Into Talking To Gay Person (VIDEO)

Let’s see, what super crazy stuff has rusty robot Mitt Romney learned today about these other weird things “humans” that he so desperately wants to rule? Ooh, it’s a tricky one: gay people look just like non-gay people! Take, for instance, Bob Garon, a kindly senior citizen Mitt Romney accosted while he was lurking around a diner in New Hampshire trying to shake hands and make friends like the real humans do, because Garon was wearing a Vietnam Veterans baseball cap. Pretty safe bet, right? Garon asks Romney if he supports efforts to repeal same-sex marriage in the state, to which Mittens happily responds that boy, does he ever. Except…hm, why doesn’t Garon look appropriately impressed?

Here’s the rest of the cringe-inducing exchange, via WaPo:

Garon, who lives in Epsom, N.H., and was eating breakfast with his husband, turned to Romney and said: “If two men get married, apparently a veteran’s spouse would not be entitled to any burial benefits or medical benefits or anything that the serviceman has devoted his time and effort to his country, and you just don’t support equality in terms of same-sex marriage?”

“I believe that marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman,” Romney replied, adding, “and we apparently disagree.”

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At that, a Romney aide called for him to wrap up the conversation: “Governor, we’ve got to get on with Fox News right now.”

“Oh, I guess the question was too hot,” Garon told Romney.

“No, I gave you the answer,” Romney replied. “You said you had a yes-or-no [question]. I gave you the answer.”

“You did,” Garon said. “And I appreciate your answer. And you know, I also learned something, and New Hampshire is right: You have to look a man in the eye to get a good answer. And you know what, governor? Good luck…. You’re going to need it.”

“You are right about that,” Romney said, as he stood up from the booth and headed into a side room for his interview.

Uh, admitting that you are a weird loser is not exactly how apologies work, Mittens. Pretending to be human is such hard work! [WaPo]

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155 comments

  1. nounverb911

    "Mitt Romney Tricks Himself Into Talking To Gay Person"
    This isn't new, Mitt talks to Rick Perry all the time.

      1. Mort_Sinclair

        And Romney's spox Eric Fehrnstrom has some pret-ty strong views on the gay thing. Willard probably talking to more gay people than he realizes.

    1. natoslug

      Not only talks to them, but offers them cash as well. $10K seems a little steep for some Perry rentboy action, though. I hope that rawhide ass is worth it.

    2. tcaalaw

      This isn't new, Mitt talks to Rick Perry all the time.

      Except that Mitt knows that Rick Perry is gay. What did you think that whole $10,000 offer was about?

  2. memzilla

    So Mittens wants to repeal a state law allowing gay marriage? WTF about all this "States' Rights" bloviation the right wingtards continually spew?

    It's once again clear that the Rethuglicans only want "States' Rights" when it supports racial discrimination. Anything having to do with sperm and ova… well… that's when States Rights end, and we need the Federal gummint to tell us how to live.

    1. Negligently_Joe

      States' Rights is just an abbreviation, duh. It stands for (Southern) States' Rights (to discriminate against any and everybody they want to, and to impose any of their public policy on unwilling other states whenever they want to).

      1. memzilla

        Ya know, I'm straight, I don't have a horse in this race, but when I see this kind of blatant discrimination, it takes me right back to Selma (Alabama, that is, not Bouvier).

      2. Millennial Malaise

        Also too, their right to insult those same "unwilling" states until it's time for us to pay for tornado damages or Medicare.

    1. OhNoGuy

      When some guy starts calling me "my friend" and "pal" and such like, I keep my hands a little higher. Because the sucker punch isn't far behind.

  3. Barb

    "And you know what, governor? Good luck…. You’re going to need it.”"
    Yeah, in 2016, when Mitt runs for his first term. (again)

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Mitt does favor the marriage between a human and a corporation, though, so the corporation can have all the benefits of marriage too.

  4. DerrickWildcat

    Marriage should be between a Man and a Woman! Or maybe a Man and another Woman if the first Women gets cancer. Or a Man and a new Women if the the first Woman gets a little saggy.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Given Mitt's background, I'm sure he favors marriage between a man and a women and another women, and another women, and another women…….

        1. mormos

          Fun fact: Mormons no longer practice polygamy, but they never altered their religious doctrine to match that change. So in the Mormon religion, you still have to be a polygamist to go to the best heaven, a practice that will get you excommunicated.

          (there is a nifty little trick to get around this though)

    2. arihaya

      according to Newt: marriage is between a Man (with a truck load of Tiffany's diamond), and a Woman (who has been botoxed heavily until her face is so stiff it cannot properly smile)

  5. Nostrildamus

    I don't think that uncomfortable look Mittens has is because he's talking to a homo. It's the same look he has when he interacts with any sort of organic being.

        1. MzNicky

          That Vietnam veteran hat faked him out. No fair! Everybody knows there weren't any gays in the military back then.

    1. spends2much

      Mittens is confused; since he wears Magic Underwear, he thought gay fellas all had to wear feather boas. Simple mistake. Any bigoted moron could make it.

  6. Negligently_Joe

    The worst part for Mitt was that he got the gay cooties all over him! I bet he wishes we could make them all wear something, so that we can tell them apart. Badges, or pieces of flair, or something.

  7. sbj1964

    I had a Co-worker come out of the closet at work .I asked him if it was difficult being gay? He said "No,you just have to push a little harder."

  8. PrimlyStable

    The fact that his "get away from awkward conversation with a gay person" excuse was "I need to talk to Fox News" says much about 21st century America.

  9. Mojopo

    BOOM! Hats off to Mr. Garon. May he and his husband celebrate the end of marriage inequality someday soon.

    1. Rotundo_

      May they celebrate it with the secure knowledge that the veterans benefits he earned are there for his survivors, especially his husband.

  10. Rotundo_

    Mitt, like most most game animals, was fooled by the camoflage and scent before being taken down by this expert hunter. The appearance of conservative foliage in the background along with Old Spice covering his scent lured him into the perfect position and it was all over with before Mitt knew it was happening. All of the Occupy folks should take note, a John Deere or Cat Diesel Power cap will get you in close for the video take down shot*. Get them comfortable being the fucking pigs they are and get it on tape!

    *Alternately a nicely tailored suit, Republicans like bubbas, Robber Barons like weasly little shits in suits.

  11. SayItWithWookies

    It was also pretty clear at the time the Constitution was written that a person who played the flute was called a flautist, that women wore petticoats under their bustles, that tomatoes were poisonous, and that barnacles grew into geese. None of those things is true today, Mitt, and I have no freakin' idea why invoking a document in which the definition of marriage does not appear somehow enshrines that or any of the other foolish ideas I just mentioned.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      "Ones a Mormon Politician, who desperately wants to be president, except no one in his party likes him.

      "The other is a married Vietnam vet, but he is married to another dude!

      "Tonight on CBS, find out if these two can ever get along when a blizzard in New Hampshire forces them to spend a weekend in a cabin together

      Hey! You're the Freak!, at 9:30 after Two and a Half Men.

  12. El Pinche

    “Governor, we’ve got to get on with Fox News right now.”

    That's code for. "Snfff. Uh oh. Time to change the magic underwear, again. *clap* WIPERS!"

  13. arihaya

    isn't Mitten also a Vietnam Veteran?

    he bravely fought a Vietcong incursion in a French countryside isn't he

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Everyone knows that real action in Vietnam was at the Paris Peace talks. And in honor of their father, all of Mitt's sons refused to serve in the military despite our continuous wars, so that they could serve him first.

  14. Extemporanus

    You know what makes Mitt's "Get A BRAIN!! GORAN" hauxmaux pas all the more moranically oblivious?

    The name of the goddamn diner is Chez Vachon!

    (From their website:

    "It's Holiday Pie Time!"

     "Chez Vachon has great gifts.  Food and jewelry one stop shopping!!"

    "Our Fruit Puffs are divine!! Try them for yourself.")

  15. Troglodeity

    Mitt has a haunted, ashamed look in his eyes as he's talking with this veteran. A look that says: "I used to support gay rights, but I've had to sell my soul to try to win this damn election – and now I'm disgusted and ashamed of myself."

    1. Mumbletypeg

      Mitt has a haunted, ashamed look in his eyes as he's talking with this veteran.

      Agreed… except I detect this same look in his expression every time he opens his trap, no matter the occasion or the context.

  16. JackObin

    I want to force Mitt to drink alcohol while reading "God is Not Great." Maybe then he'll know what it is to be human.

  17. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The good thing about having to do the FOX News thing is that most of their ghayez are closeted and self-loathing (cf. Andrew Breitbart, Dick Morris, Ann Coulter).

  18. OneYieldRegular

    This? Now? When I'm not yet over wanting to rip the toupee off Rick Perry's head for his having insulted ALL veterans in his Brokeback Mountain Christmas commercial?

  19. Callyson

    "No, actually, I think at the time the Constituti­on was written it was pretty clear that marriage is between a man and a woman"
    Um, really, you want to go there, Mittens? Because there were a few other things that were pretty clear at the time the Constituti­on was written…­the acceptance of slavery and the rejection of women's right to vote among them…
    Asshole.

  20. dadanarchist

    “I believe that marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman"

    In that case, shouldn't Mitt's marriage be annulled on the grounds that robots aren't men, and only men and women can get married?

  21. BaldarTFlagass

    Hey Mitt, you touched a gay guy. You know that shit's contagious, right, and it's transmitted by handshakes and casual conversation? Ha ha, fag-to-be!! Betcher gonna be changing your anti-gay tune! Oh, wait, yer a Republican, you'll just hide it and keep hatin'.

  22. Callyson

    Also, speaking of Vietnam…a little history about the person lecturing the veteran:
    As the Vietnam War raged in the 1960s, Mitt Romney received a deferment from the draft as a Mormon "minister of religion" for the duration of his missionary work in France, which lasted two and a half years.
    Before and after his missionary deferment, Romney also received nearly three years of deferments for his academic studies. When his deferments ended and he became eligible for military service in 1970, he drew a high number in the annual lottery that determined which young men were drafted. His high number ensured he was not drafted into the military. http://www.boston.com/news/politics/2008/specials

  23. DemonicRage

    This interview shows the 10 million mile gap between the current Administration and the would-be Romney Administration. Romney wants to go back to the way that people in 1776 viewed gay people (sodomites/ hang them). Obama, on the other hand, just last week, directed the State Department to link Foreign Aid to how Foreign governments treated Gays, Lesbians and Transsexuals. If Romney is elected, you will never hear him mention the last three, just as Reagan never acknowledged that AIDS was decimating the gay population during his reign.

  24. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The Three Laws of Romney:

    1. A Romney may not injure a corporation or, through inaction, allow a corporation to come to harm.

    2. A Romney must obey the orders given to it by human beings or corporations, except where such orders are from homos.

    3. A Romney must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

  25. donner_froh

    A lovely situation for Mitt and his handlers–trailing a bunch of press, he decides to do some handshaking, walks up to a table with a gay couple and asks to join them. It isn't that things went downhill for Mitt from there–it is that the floor opened up and dropped him into GOP hell.

    Ha, ha, fuck you Mitt and many happy returns.

  26. Come here a minute

    That was weak, Mitt Romney! Rick Perry would have fought this old queer for preventing our kids from openly celebrating Christmas or praying in school.

  27. Bluestatelibel

    I hear the new Mitt Romney 3.0 promises to be far more lifelike and will be able to engage in life-like banter with the humans. Eh, probably will be just a piece of shit like the current one.

  28. neiltheblaze

    Poor Mittens. The guy should have been wearing a hot pink jogging suit with hair like Richard Simmons. Then Mitt would have clued in.

  29. BigDumbRedDog

    No fair! They tricked mittens by not being all femmy and lispy and wearing purple and rainbows and having non-limp wrists. NO FAIR!

  30. GeorgiaBurning

    Somebody needs to put the software patch into the Mitt-bot tonight, his human emulations still aren't quite right. Is that "gaydar" subroutine ready yet?

  31. user-of-owls

    AND NOW FOR TODAY'S EDITION OF 'AWKWARD MOMENTS WITH MITT ROMNEY'

    And here I was led to believe that the word, "moment" referred to isolated segments of time rather than, say, all of it.

  32. Negropolis

    Can I just say that when someone complains about their not being differences between the two parties, it's videos like this that remind us that there are? For whatever their issues, this would never happen to a Democrat. They might not agree with you, but they'd never look visibly uncomfortable as if they'd seen as ghost just by finding out the person they are talking to is gay or whatever.

    Republicans always look so guilty when they talk to minorities of any kind, and it's because they are. It remains a blemish on them that the so-called party of freedom and liberty is only for freedom and liberty within the very narrowest of confines as to the people those ideals applies to.

    How they are able to keep up the appearance that they represent enough people to be a national party is beyond me. If our politics was more accurately structured, they'd be competitive only regionally or at the state level at best.

    “You did,” Garon said. “And I appreciate your answer. And you know, I also learned something, and New Hampshire is right: You have to look a man in the eye to get a good answer. And you know what, governor? Good luck…. You’re going to need it.”

    Get on with your bad self, Mr. Garon. And, in typical Romeny fashion, he gives a really weird, awkward and non-human reply back to him.

    1. fuflans

      If our politics was more accurately structured, they'd be competitive only regionally or at the state level at best.

      also: nascar. they will always be popular at nascar.

  33. ttommyunger

    Mitt just can't seem to catch a break. A gay guy with a VNam cap on? Did not compute in the Mittster's brain. Total asshole.

  34. BZ1

    I liked the Mitt who strapped his dog to the roof of his car for a 12-hour (yes, 12-hour) trip with the family. The brown stuff leaked on the window at one point, and he stopped to flush out the dog.. oh, I can't go on …

  35. schvitzatura

    What this country really needs is a President that understands the binary language of moisture vaporators (or loadlifters). Not a protocol POTUS.

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