folk art

Roadside Redneck Scrabble Mostly Limited To Letters O, B, A, M, A

'KENYAN SOSHULIST is a triple-wingnut-word score, probably.'It’s time to play Heartland Americuh’s greatest new game, and you sure don’t need some faggoty-ass iPad or ‘puter or ‘lectricity or no such thing. To play Roadside Wingnut Scrabble, you just need that U-Haul truck your common-law brother-in-law forgot to return. It’s still sitting on the property somewhere, probably by the road? You’re on your way to a Triple-Dingbat Score!

And there’s no need for the whole fancy liberal alphabet, neither. No sir, you just need the main letters to tell about how ‘Mericuh become socialist because of Wall Street and its gay-married Kenyan communist usurper, whatever usurper means. (Black?)

Those letters, obviously, are O, B, A, M, A and let’s see, what else you need to spell A-BOM-(Is)-NATION? Who knows, ask Cindy if she comes back from Bible Community College someday. Thanks to Wonkette spy “Vladimir B.” for documenting this important folk art somewhere on the back roads of Minnesota.

About the author

Wonkette Jr., everybody! Hooray!

View all articles by Wonkette Jr.
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

212 comments

    1. dadanarchist

      It's not so much that he's lost his chalkboard as he decided to branch out into different mediums.

      He's also working on a series of macaroni paintings of Obama as Rameses II.

  1. Buckminster

    Nothing classes up a debris-strewn junkyard (or as Minnesotans call it, a "front yard") like a big-azz trailer with childish scribbling and cryptic Tea-tard rhetoric on it.

        1. Rotundo_

          If I would have witnessed it, I would have figured WalMart had just done a demonstration for cookware, chemicals and free lance pharmaceutical production. Talk about exemplifying the entreprenurial sprit!

    1. SorosBot

      It's filled with candies and puppies, and if you just step inside, little girl or boy, you'll get to play with them!

    2. Callyson

      New Zealand's Lesbians are being inpregnated with the sperm of a wingnut Alabamian wanna be governor…

  2. Callyson

    Hey, we've got Obama's 2012 campaign slogan: I – bomb – a – nation. As in, I'm the bomb of the nation…I bomb the nation with common sense despite the utter refusal of the other side to engage with the reality based community…I bomb the nation with my re – election when the American voters see through the wingnuts who are running against me…
    I – bomb – a – nation 2012!

  3. GuanoFaucet

    Thanks to Wonkette spy “Vladimir B.” for documenting this important folk art somewhere on the back roads of Minnesota.

    Bachmann sure has a rundown campaign bus.

    1. Rotundo_

      A Norwegian American Think Tank (probably a four holer with paper holders for each seat since they did the decoration up on the outside).

  4. skoalrebel

    You don't like my poetry? Fuck all y'all [spit!] You're just a bunch of elitist fucks who don't understand that the Founders warned us about A-Bombs and the Obams from Mobas.

  5. cheetojeebus

    "For Rent. Spacious efficiency. Loft bed. Childs playground nearby. Composting toilet. no nigras or muslins need apply. "

  6. SayItWithWookies

    Back in the 19th century, people with a tendency to obsess over extracting code words and phrases from texts by taking every X letter or some other method used to search for evidence that William Shakespeare's plays were written by someone else, or that Francis Bacon hid some secret plan for world government in a box somewhere. Okay, some of them still do that now.

    Of course it led to madness then, just as it does now — what's disheartening is that whole possel of rednecks and illiterates are now engaged in this practice to determine where our president was born and when the LORD will return. Anyway, at least the borderline schizophrenics of the past were reading Shakespeare, is my point. The ones today can't play tic-tac-toe with the letters they're able to make sense of.

  7. poncho_pilot

    MOBAS=OBAMS=OBAMA, the new album by Aphex Twin, is a delightful affair of clicking sounds and glitchy, cut up granular synths and samples harkening back to their work in the late '90s…

  8. bureaucrap

    Sign this truck owner/borrower/thief up as the next "expert commentator" on Faux News. I'm sure he/she is just as profound in person as he/she is on the side of a tractor trailer.

      1. Generation[redacted]

        That essay won some lucky student an internship at The Heritage Foundation. If Bush were still President, he would be on his way to Iraq to run the Sunni-Shiite reconciliation program.

  9. BaldarTFlagass

    Man, whoever did that on that truck would positively rule on them crosswords-with-no-blanks in the back of Harper's.

    1. Buckminster

      "Man, whoever did that on that truck would positively DROOL on them crosswords-with-no-blanks in the back of Harper's."

      Fixed.

  10. BigDumbRedDog

    I'm waiting for the wingnutz to declare a war on literacy, or as they refer to it, a war on spellin good.

      1. BigDumbRedDog

        Names, who needs names when we have stereotypes. Let's see … there's the good looking fella with the nice hair, the eyetalian, the negra, the irish one, the old white dude, the old white lady, the mexican lady, the lesbian, and, uh … ummmmm, the other old white dude. Wow, that was a lot easier back when they were all old white dudes.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      fd:

      Not that it would make much difference at this late date, but Sambo was Indian – not African. Remember there was a tiger in that story? No tigers in Africa.

  11. Mahousu

    Judging by the playground equipment, I'd say this is somebody's low-budget independent private school. The standards may be a little lax, but at least the tuition is affordable (a couple of hits of meth will do).

  12. EatsBabyDingos

    This is what you get ten minutes after you shove a can of Campbell's Alphabet Soup up your ass.

  13. BaldarTFlagass

    That's how they do their organic chemistry homework out in the sticks, although I don't think I recognize those chemical compounds.

    1. SorosBot

      Out where this truck's owner lives, chemistry class is just instructions on how to build your own meth lab.

  14. coolhandnuke

    I applaud the determination of these messengers…after running out of black duct tape for lettering they had the tenacity to stay on message and spray paint the ending.
    And Mobas has the gall to call us lazy.

    1. DaRooster

      "CHAIR!"

      "CHAIR!"

      (Can you tell I am starting a hobo furniture company? Place your order for Christmas now… for next year.)

    2. Tundra Grifter

      BZG:

      Pallets are a great example of something that seems like it would be useful when you pick them up, but you get 'em home and discover there really isn't much that's useful to be done with them.

      The wood is green and the nails are in so damn tight you can never get them out without splitting the wood. Won't burn for shit. Useful for keeping stuff in your wet basement up off the ground – and that's just about it.

      In other words, not worth much – free as they are.

      Although, down in La Paz recently, I did see a home with a front fence made of pallets. It looked about like you'd expect it to.

    3. vtxmcrider

      Because someone told the moran that, if he gets lots of pallets, he will be able to draw nice colorful things on his trailer.

  15. BigDumbRedDog

    I think there is an email address at the bottom, behind the stack of old pallets. Can we get this shot from another angle please?

    1. SilverTsunami

      I think there's something about "youth," but behind the pallets I think is an incantation evoking Azathoth. HP Lovecraft, alive and thriving in Minnesota!

  16. SorosBot

    A-BOM Is NATION; obviously this person just forgot to spell bomb correctly, and thinks a country isn't really a county unless they have nukes.

      1. CrankyLttlCamperette

        A-BOM is about as close to Albom as it is to Obama. Maybe this guy was just pissed that the dog dies at the end.

  17. Dok-cupy Everything

    And for playing the puzzle with us on Wingnut Edition Sunday, you'll receive a set of game cards by our puzzle master, Ann Coulter…

  18. Barrelhse

    MObA5=stupid fucking right-wing hand-in-his-pants mouth-breathing inbred moron.
    How did he ever get OBAMS from that?

  19. Not_So_Much

    Meh, this is pretty much the exact same puzzle plot as "National Treasure — Nic Cage and the Hair Plugs of Doom!", isn't it?

  20. BlueStateLibel

    Oh those – those are just notes written by our soon-to-be outerspace alien overlords indicating who our current leader is. Nothing to see, carry on.

  21. GregComlish

    The implications of this are huge. Could thjs mean that MOBAS (BI-SEXUAL) also has BOOSE PARTIES AND $150 STEAKS (IMPORTED)??? Is MINDMONKEY OBAMS SATAN BI-SEXUAL??

    1. bagofmice

      You know a MOBAS Boose party with expensive steaks sounds pretty cool. The mind monkey is just gravy.

  22. DaRooster

    Quick… I think these are the terrorists they're talking about locking up indefinitely… check 'em for missing fingers.

  23. jus_wonderin

    This weekend, on I20, headed to the farm, I "spied" a medium sized red Chevy pickup. Plastered on the tailgate was a quality truck wrap that said "Does this Socialist A** make my truck look bigger?" replete with the photo of our President in that turban.

    I wanted to run the asshole off the road. I didn't. I just flipped him off.

  24. BaldarTFlagass

    You can see so many more interesting things on America's by-ways, once you get off the interstate.

      1. Gomez571

        I'm so old that New Math was something New. I learned math with flash cards and multiplication tables and learned how to read by sounding out words using phonics, which was being phased out in favor of recognizing learned whole words. My mother, who taught kindergarten to Job Corp for 40 years, was always pissed when administrators, who had no teaching experience, were placed in her class to tell her she was not doing it right. I have a dream, of a day when teachers are paid high wages, like UPS employees, so that there is a long line behind every teacher of other teachers competing for their job. I day when teaching is a job that men and women will compete to score.

  25. ttommyunger

    Considering what I thought (and still think) about that moron, Dubya, all I can say is: "Meh", this is just baby shit.

  26. Eve8Apples

    I bet Bambi and the other woodland creatures were mad as hell when that trash moved into the neighborhood.

  27. Extemporanus

    Its usage by ass-breathing, gas-huffing, Ruhl 'Muricans having grown more prevalent in recent years due to its marginally less-tortured alphabetic evocation of "OSAMA/OBAMA" (same thing), "MOBAS" is, in all likelihood, this illiterate idiot's book-less Bookmobile Boggle-ization of "MABUS", the third Anti-Christ — after "PAU NAY LORON" (Napolean) and "HIƒTER" (Hitler) — just cold prophesied about 500-odd years ago by proto-Fox News pundit Nostradamus.

    THE MORE YOU KNOW
    :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  28. GeorgiaBurning

    Why are rural places with meth labs, chronic unemployment and junk trucks along the road are always called "God's Country"?

  29. Rotundo_

    Heck, you can find this kind of stupid in any of the 50 states if you look around for any length of time. There may be plenty of rational people in Minnesota, but Bachmann did not get elected based on some sort of deceit or misrepresentation. Wisconsin has them, Illinois has the downstaters, they are legion. And despite being dumber than dogshit they show up and vote. doG help us all, they vote.

  30. sezme

    His critique of Obama's willingness to continue the Bush doctrine of bombing sovereign states through the use of unilateral undeclared covert war, it has to be said, is far more succinct than that of Glenn Greenwald.

  31. NYNYNYjr

    Nobody else is explaining what the fuck that truck meant, so I had to do the 3 minutes of googling myself…sighh.
    MOBAs means Multiplayer Online Gaming Arenas, but sadly, that not what optimus prime is talking about…
    Mobas is a nostadamus prediction about 2012 (most Nostradamus "scholars" (he was a doctor who got high on weeds and stayed up all night writing nonsense, so there's nothing to be scholarly about) agree that his predictions end in the year 2000 with the apocalypse/rapture/etc)
    This really is what Yahoo! Answers was made to answer: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080… (it is noted that "sambo" [Obama, obvs] is not "mobas" spelled backwards [sadly])

    Also, it's Mabus, with an A. Also…..uhh….nevermind.

  32. rocktonsam

    the sad thing is that 123% of the people who see this , understand this.
    oh, its in Minnesota, never mind then
    PUNCTUATION libel also!

  33. givesgoodemail

    I have seen that van!

    It's on Minnesota state road 38, between Grand Rapids and the Canadian border. The land owner plays a recorded loop of vicious dogs barking, has warnings about "trespassers will be shot", and a lean-to shack stacked to the roof with hats.

    Slightly scary when you see it in person.

  34. LeAlbatross

    Ah, rural Minnesota…Lake Wobegone….the smell of meth cooking in the ditches while Sven Schmidt cleans his nice white sheets for the next meeting….suspiciously sticky poster of Michele Bachmann on the wall next to the soup-praying guy…

  35. SorosBot

    According to Wikipedia:

    Moba may refer to:

    Moba port, a town in the Democratic Republic of the Congo
    Moba, Nigeria.
    Museum of Bad Art, in Massachusetts, abbreviated to MOBA.
    Multiplayer Online Battle Arena, a less used term for the Dota genre.

    Now this truck obviously belongs in the third category.

Comments are closed.