Is Bill O’Reilly a) a touchy old jackal who attacked a Washington, DC protester and tried to have him arrested for asking O’Reilly a question on camera or b) too stupid to correctly operate an umbrella? We post the video, you decide!


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  • WhatTheHolyHeck

    I suppose it's redundant to select (c): stupid old jackal.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Bill being an asshole. Dog bites man. I drink another beer and weep for my beloved Virginia Tech.

  • He is quite the thin skinned old cocksucker.

    • And thin haired. If anyone, anywhere, needs to know why comb-overs should be made illegal, that video should remove all doubt. Dear fellow balds, kill the komb-over! Since it's the Yule season, make like Yul Brenner iffin' yer follically challenged, or accept the horseshoe hair cut and flaunt it.

      • Geminisunmars

        Combover has never never ever nohow improved the looks of any man, ever. Like weejee says, flaunt it. If someone is turned off by your baldness, they are too shallow for a wonketteer anyway. In O'Reilly case, though, he has nothing else to offer, so it makes sense.

    • Yeah.
      He can sure dish it out, but…

  • OkieDokieDog

    He's a whiny assed pussy.

    • MrsBiggTime

      …with apologies to pussies everywhere.

  • BlueStateLibel

    No problem, according to our Wonkette today, didn't the court just rule that you can use whatever force you want when someone asks you a question? I'm going to use that new legal principle the next time a cop pulls me over.

    • Numbat_Dundee

      Perhaps the billious turd had that judgement in mind when he went the preemptive strike with the umbrella. Given that the mere sight of his face would provoke violence from most sane mortals, he has every reason to be afraid of any Homo Sapien who happens to be close enough to whack him.

  • Mr. O'Reilly oh whoa ho hey!

    Meh. Known fact: O'Reilly's an asshole.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Umbrella goes up, umbrella goes down, who can explain it?

    • It's just a bumbershoot out there.

      • littlebigdaddy

        Bumpershoot libel!

  • SexySmurf

    And to think, his wife left him.

    • SorosBot

      Here I thought women loved being married to guys who sexually harass their female employees. Hey, maybe she can become roommates with Gloria Cain.

  • c) boring, shouty grouch paid by Rupert Murdoch to distract the other olds while plutocrats pick their pockets.

  • Barb

    Wow, looks like Bill's comb over is neither fair nor balanced.

    • SorosBot

      It looks kind of like a loofah, you know, the felafel thing.

      • Barb

        His being accused of sexy talk with some chick on the phone while he played with his meat puppet is just another right hand conspiracy. I don't believe that it happened. This man is so self loathing that I doubt he could arouse himself.

  • This guy gives self-righteousness, arrogance, and cruelty a bad name.

    • sbj1964

      I hope one day they put on Bill's tombstone "The tide comes in.The tide go's out.Know one knows how that works sir." Must be God?And they let John Stewart do his eulogy .

  • DaRooster

    I wish he would wave that thing at me… God that would be awesomesauce!

  • He's just like the Penguin from Batman!

    • SexySmurf

      I always thought he'd be more like the Joker. Or Two-Face. Or the lesser known, Creepy-Old-Dude-Who-Sexually-Harassed-His-Producer-With-Mediterranean-Food.

      • poncho_pilot

        maybe a character like Clayface but instead he's made of falafel. Falafelface: scourge of Metropolis but he vacations in Gotham City.

        • horsedreamer_1

          Falafel face? Schwarma! Schwarma!

  • poncho_pilot

    i don't think the umbrella part is that big of a deal. it's the cop part that makes him look like an asshole.

    • chicken_thief

      I like the part near the end, where the lady with the purple umbrella protects and consoles him. The only thing between ATTACK II and Bill the Victim is the purple umbrella – which shows just how dangerous the camera toter is.

      Bill. You pussy. If you are going to have a woman guard your flank, at least give her the black umbrella.

      And comb your fucking hair.

      • poncho_pilot

        i would've liked it better if the questioner just yelled, "get a real job, you hippy" repeatedly at a confused O'Reilly

  • SorosBot

    Funny that he can't take the same kind of "ambush journalism" that he has his cronies do to others. And "were you at Gingrich's fundraiser" is not exactly a rude or insulting question.

    • sbj1964

      Bill is such an ass! Check him out on You Tube when he got Rickrolled.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Well, he has been under fire before, in Central America or some shit, so his nerves are shot to shit and it makes him a bit twitchy. PTSD and all that.

  • Goonemeritus

    I don’t blame Bill for being upset after all a professional of Mr. O’Reilly stature would naturally have an aversion to ambush journalism.

  • memzilla

    Bill O'Reilly, puttin' the "ass" in "assault."

  • SoBeach

    Why can't a guy who has made millions insulting half the country, calling them "pinheads" and questioning their patriotism, just walk down the street in peace?

    Whatever happened to civility?

  • hagajim

    You forgot C) i.e. Is Bill O'Reilly a dickhead? Answer is absolutely!


    Y'know who else makes me wanna up my valium dosage?

    • Negligently_Joe

      We actually have had a ton of drug shortages lately, and I'm wondering what it's all about. Not just valium, but, like, a ton of chemotherapy agents, and, on a happier note, lethal injection drugs also too. Does anybody have more information as to what the fuck is going on with the pharmaceutical industry lately?

      • Just a guess here, but perhaps our policy of corporate takeovers and firing everybody, then declaring bankruptcy rather than doing any manufacturing or reinvestment is turning out to be somewhat short-sighted.

        • Negligently_Joe

          Nah. I just don't see any way that sort of economy would be destined for anything other than long-term, sustainable prosperity.

      • finallyhappy

        Actually in terms of things like ADHD medication- they get in short supply towards the end of every year- I do not know why. However, what pisses me off is that my HRT has not been available for 6 months now and I have to take something else. Of course, in my case, it could be my crappy insurance.

        • Negligently_Joe

          Well, there's been a series of general drug shortages over the past 3-4 months or so. In a few cases, like the death drugs, it was the one or two labs that supplied them stateside shutting down, and the european labs refusing to ship death drugs to America, because we all know what Americans are using them for.

          The chemo drugs thing, though, was surprising and weird. A few of the drugs in shortage, like taxol, were derived from botanicals that had a narrow ecological range, and demand for which had resulted in them becoming threatened species. But a whole bunch also totally weren't; synthesis of Cisplatin, for example, is so simple it's pretty much a lab from an Inorganic Chemistry class. And there's been a bunch of other random other drugs, like Fentanyl, that have been in shortage, for vague or inscrutable reasons; it's hard not to notice the pattern.

      • chicken_thief

        I read an article that addressed only one drug, but in that case, the patent was nearing expiration. The company was trying to move everyone to the new, more expensive version of that drug before the patients could start using generics. Therefore, the manufacturer simply stopped producing as much of the old drug, thereby causing a shortage, price spike, and having people unwittingly "settle" for their new drug.

        Kind of a crafty move.

        But even if 100% true, I doubt that that would apply to every drug on the market.

      • yyyaz

        Oh, nothing that a $1 billion ad campaign to scare the oldz about the Muzlin Dictator-in-Chief's health-scare plan drying up supplies and driving up costs won't cure.

      • Interesting. Today, for the third time in about 30 days, my pharmacy told me that there would be a delay in filling my prescription (three completely unrelated prescriptions). I wonder how much it has to do with the JIT (Just In Time) delivery mode that was all the wah wah talk in management circles a couple of years ago.

    • bureaucrap

      Zombie Spiro Agnew?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    You'd think a guy that pulls in as much jack as he does could afford something better than a five-dollar umbrella that the mendicant-like Somalians sell on the street.

    • succalina

      Or maybe a car to pick him up right outside the event. What is he, part of the 99%?

  • Schmannnity

    I guess the spin does not stop here when it comes to making a false police report of assault.

    • Too bad nobody has any video to show him making a false police report. . .

  • johnnymeatworth

    All of the above?

  • ProgressiveInga

    And here I thought, "F*ck it, we'll do it live!" was brilliant. "Leave me alone right now!" is even better.

  • Tommmcattt

    Such a big, strong brave man to sucker-punch somebody then run to the po-po to tell!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Ma! The bad smelly protester asked me a question! I'M TELLING!

  • Callyson

    Is Bill O’Reilly a) a touchy old jackal who attacked a Washington, DC protester and tried to have him arrested for asking O’Reilly a question on camera or b) too stupid to correctly operate an umbrella?
    Once again…
    All of 'em, Katie…

  • DaRooster

    He could operate it better if it were a felafel…

  • Tundra Grifter

    We have a new expression: Collapsed like a cheap umbrella.

    You'd think a rich guy like Bull O'Really? could afford a decent bumbershoot. Did he buy that thing from a street hawker for five bucks?

    • yyyaz

      Stole it from the office umbrella bin. After glancing over his shoulder furtively.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Since he was coming from a hotel, he probably picked it up in the lobby.

        Hey – it's black with a handle. Who's gonna tell him he grabbed the wrong one? "By mistake."

  • Goonemeritus

    I finally got the video to work so what’s with the POS Totes umbrella. If you have all the money in the world and anticipate going full John Steed with your umbrella you need a Swaine Adeney & Brigg’s. With one of those you can beat down the 99% all day and still be protected from rain in the evening.

  • Callyson

    Also, for those of you who know DC's architecture better than I do…was BillO passing the White House when the "Do Not Enter" sign appears (around 0:20)? If so, how perfect…

  • Tundra Grifter

    Actually, the gentleman asking the question was quite respectful.

    I would have gone with "Hey, Bill! Show us your falafel!"

    • LetUsBray

      "Hey, baby, put down that bumbershoot and get my bumbershoot up."

      But I guess that's technically not a question.

  • Schmannnity

    At least Papa Bill has some new video for his Pinheads and Patriots segment.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So Bill thinks it's wrong to ask him questions on the street? Well well — look who thinks he's got special rights.

  • finallyhappy

    Couldn't get one but saw lots of orange Boner faces on buttons on the Mall- the button says " We'll give you something to cry about- The 99%"

    • You make me so very happy …

      'Course, if you'd gotten a button, you'd'a made me a shitload happier, but hey.

  • RadioYKWE

    Needs moar Baba O'Riley…
    ♪ ♫ It's an old fart wasteland ♪ ♫

    • F5 / C / Bb, rinse, repeat as needed

      • Cue the maniac behind the kit.

        Even 23 years dead, Moon can outdrum the crap out of anybody.

  • Indiepalin

    OK, so THIS is the clip from the new Three Stooges film that everybody has been talking about…

  • proudgrampa

    Yup, he's a pompous asshole.

  • BarackMyWorld
  • lochnessmonster

    If O'Rielly touched him, that's assault with a deadly weapon! I'd file a lawsuit….

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It's already assault… and battery if he made contact.
      Pretty weak-ass weapon, though … Billo will never deliver a polonium 210 pill with that piece of crap.

  • For some reason, when I heard about this, I thought of BillO crossdressing like the old lady from the Tweety cartoons, beating a ruffian over the head shouting "MASHER! MASHER!"

  • mavenmaven

    All these rules only apply to force used against Democrats, "leftists", etc. They are not to be applied against the right, who are the "legitimate merkins" and thus above the law.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    In his book on President Lincoln , Billo proves that if Abe had been able to deploy an umbrella at Ford's Theatre, he'd be alive today.

  • mookwrthwilson

    Was his wife with him or with her boyfriend???

  • Rotundo_

    One of these days Billo is just going to stroke out. The old anger bear just heats up too damn fast. With any kind of luck it will be like something out of Westworld and live on FOX. "And these PINHEADS HERP DE DERP DE HARGLE" and flop on the floor drooling and stuff.

    • Geminisunmars

      I'd Pay-per-view that, fer sures.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Doesn't that pretty much explain his show anyway?

  • Geminisunmars

    "Occifer, Occifer! That mean question-asker over there assaulted my umbrella and broke it! And now I'm all wet! Arrest him!"

  • DahBoner

    I suggest every protestor learn Karate and watch every fucking Billy Jack movie ever made….

  • Fawkdifiknow

    That's his "Bildo."

  • What a pussy!

  • chascates

    So now he's like Ruth Buzzi in Laugh-in?

  • horsedreamer_1

    I would have made it rain pennies, out of an hot dog cannon, on Ol Bill.

    • Negropolis

      Is that code for something? lol

  • well Bill has a totally different story.

  • ttommyunger

    Sorry, Bill, you've given yourself away: men don't carry umbrellas and they certainly don't count on them as a weapon. What a big, dumb cunt!

  • DailyGrumbles

    Jumping Jehoshaphat!! Lucky for that interviewer Blimey O'Rielly wasn't armed with mace…

  • DailyGrumbles

    The ol' umbrella treatment eh.. And just for asking about Attending a Newt fundraiser? It's not like he was asking for a Loofah sponge or anything.

  • Negropolis

    You know what other comically evil character weaponized his umbrella?

  • Negropolis

    Bill O'Reilly: unfair and chemically unbalanced.

    BTW, won't someone confront him about Andrea Mackris? Won't anyone confront him about Andrea Mackris? Won't someone think of the children?

  • Musta been one o' them fancy loofah style umbrellas.

  • barto

    Well ya know back when his unit was under fire they would often take cover under umbrellas, loufahs, old discarded copies of the Paris Business Review, whatever did the trick! All while returning fire,of course.

  • Nobody even had to say "Makris."

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