Bill O’Reilly Tries To Weaponize Umbrella When Protester Approaches Him (VIDEO)

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Is Bill O’Reilly a) a touchy old jackal who attacked a Washington, DC protester and tried to have him arrested for asking O’Reilly a question on camera or b) too stupid to correctly operate an umbrella? We post the video, you decide!

[TPM]

 

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{ 108 comments }

WhatTheHolyHeck December 8, 2011 at 3:57 pm

I suppose it's redundant to select (c): stupid old jackal.

EatsBabyDingos December 8, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Bill being an asshole. Dog bites man. I drink another beer and weep for my beloved Virginia Tech.

ProgressiveInga December 8, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Sorry, EBD. That VT shooting truly sucks. ✌ ♡

EatsBabyDingos December 8, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Thanks ProgressiveInga. I'm a grad and have two daughters there. One heard the shots outside her window, and like the trooper she is belined for the Collegiate Times, where she's one of the two News Editors (and soon to be Editor-in-Chief). She's fearless. Her email to me:

There are shots right outside my building. I believe to be safe at themoment, we are all on lockdown. Swat team is in Squires. I love youall very very much. Keep my in your prayers.

God help me I hate guns.

Geminisunmars December 8, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Words fail. Holding you and your daughters in our hearts. (And what a brave girl/woman).

horsedreamer_1 December 8, 2011 at 7:19 pm

I look forward to my college writing prof, a Va Tech grad, comparing me to this shooter, as well.

Get on with your bad self, David G.

PalinzADummy December 8, 2011 at 11:57 pm

I don't know how or why I missed this on my first wander through here. I'm so sorry. Are your kids OK? Please 2 update.

EatsBabyDingos December 9, 2011 at 8:51 am

They are ok. The Collegiate Times still put out a newspaper at 2am. Real journalism at its best.

PalinzADummy December 9, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Thank you. I got a weird notice in my email box which seemed to display some unintended information. I immediately deleted it and bleached both my eyeballs.

Your secret is safe with me, and, thank TPTB, your children and, apparently, most other peoples', are safe. Sad about the policeman who was shot and the person who apparently shot him. I hope you hugged both your kids, even if only virtually. Your daughter's a right little trooper!

donner_froh December 8, 2011 at 3:58 pm

He is quite the thin skinned old cocksucker.

weejee December 8, 2011 at 4:04 pm

And thin haired. If anyone, anywhere, needs to know why comb-overs should be made illegal, that video should remove all doubt. Dear fellow balds, kill the komb-over! Since it's the Yule season, make like Yul Brenner iffin' yer follically challenged, or accept the horseshoe hair cut and flaunt it.

Geminisunmars December 8, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Combover has never never ever nohow improved the looks of any man, ever. Like weejee says, flaunt it. If someone is turned off by your baldness, they are too shallow for a wonketteer anyway. In O'Reilly case, though, he has nothing else to offer, so it makes sense.

DemmeFatale December 8, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Yeah.
He can sure dish it out, but…

OkieDokieDog December 8, 2011 at 3:59 pm

He's a whiny assed pussy.

MrsBiggTime December 8, 2011 at 4:45 pm

…with apologies to pussies everywhere.

BlueStateLibel December 8, 2011 at 4:01 pm

No problem, according to our Wonkette today, didn't the court just rule that you can use whatever force you want when someone asks you a question? I'm going to use that new legal principle the next time a cop pulls me over.

Numbat_Dundee December 8, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Perhaps the billious turd had that judgement in mind when he went the preemptive strike with the umbrella. Given that the mere sight of his face would provoke violence from most sane mortals, he has every reason to be afraid of any Homo Sapien who happens to be close enough to whack him.

ShitFilledExistence December 8, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Mr. O'Reilly oh whoa ho hey!

Meh. Known fact: O'Reilly's an asshole.

littlebigdaddy December 8, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Umbrella goes up, umbrella goes down, who can explain it?

weejee December 8, 2011 at 5:06 pm

It's just a bumbershoot out there.

littlebigdaddy December 8, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Bumpershoot libel!

SexySmurf December 8, 2011 at 4:06 pm

And to think, his wife left him.

SorosBot December 8, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Here I thought women loved being married to guys who sexually harass their female employees. Hey, maybe she can become roommates with Gloria Cain.

ifthethunderdontgetya December 8, 2011 at 4:06 pm

c) boring, shouty grouch paid by Rupert Murdoch to distract the other olds while plutocrats pick their pockets.
~

Barb December 8, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Wow, looks like Bill's comb over is neither fair nor balanced.

SorosBot December 8, 2011 at 4:14 pm

It looks kind of like a loofah, you know, the felafel thing.

Barb December 8, 2011 at 4:19 pm

His being accused of sexy talk with some chick on the phone while he played with his meat puppet is just another right hand conspiracy. I don't believe that it happened. This man is so self loathing that I doubt he could arouse himself.

Spurning Beer December 8, 2011 at 4:11 pm

This guy gives self-righteousness, arrogance, and cruelty a bad name.

sbj1964 December 10, 2011 at 7:13 am

I hope one day they put on Bill's tombstone "The tide comes in.The tide go's out.Know one knows how that works sir." Must be God?And they let John Stewart do his eulogy .

DaRooster December 8, 2011 at 4:11 pm

I wish he would wave that thing at me… God that would be awesomesauce!

Chillwaver December 8, 2011 at 4:11 pm

He's just like the Penguin from Batman!

SexySmurf December 8, 2011 at 4:16 pm

I always thought he'd be more like the Joker. Or Two-Face. Or the lesser known, Creepy-Old-Dude-Who-Sexually-Harassed-His-Producer-With-Mediterranean-Food.

poncho_pilot December 8, 2011 at 4:56 pm

maybe a character like Clayface but instead he's made of falafel. Falafelface: scourge of Metropolis but he vacations in Gotham City.

horsedreamer_1 December 8, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Falafel face? Schwarma! Schwarma!

poncho_pilot December 8, 2011 at 4:12 pm

i don't think the umbrella part is that big of a deal. it's the cop part that makes him look like an asshole.

chicken_thief December 8, 2011 at 4:41 pm

I like the part near the end, where the lady with the purple umbrella protects and consoles him. The only thing between ATTACK II and Bill the Victim is the purple umbrella – which shows just how dangerous the camera toter is.

Bill. You pussy. If you are going to have a woman guard your flank, at least give her the black umbrella.

And comb your fucking hair.

poncho_pilot December 8, 2011 at 4:58 pm

i would've liked it better if the questioner just yelled, "get a real job, you hippy" repeatedly at a confused O'Reilly

SorosBot December 8, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Funny that he can't take the same kind of "ambush journalism" that he has his cronies do to others. And "were you at Gingrich's fundraiser" is not exactly a rude or insulting question.

sbj1964 December 10, 2011 at 7:10 am

Bill is such an ass! Check him out on You Tube when he got Rickrolled.

BaldarTFlagass December 8, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Well, he has been under fire before, in Central America or some shit, so his nerves are shot to shit and it makes him a bit twitchy. PTSD and all that.

Goonemeritus December 8, 2011 at 4:13 pm

I don’t blame Bill for being upset after all a professional of Mr. O’Reilly stature would naturally have an aversion to ambush journalism.

memzilla December 8, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Bill O'Reilly, puttin' the "ass" in "assault."

SoBeach December 8, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Why can't a guy who has made millions insulting half the country, calling them "pinheads" and questioning their patriotism, just walk down the street in peace?

Whatever happened to civility?

hagajim December 8, 2011 at 4:20 pm

You forgot C) i.e. Is Bill O'Reilly a dickhead? Answer is absolutely!

Mumbletypeg December 8, 2011 at 4:20 pm

TAGGED: IN OTHER NEWS THE COUNTRY'S VALIUM SUPPLY IS LOW

Y'know who else makes me wanna up my valium dosage?

Negligently_Joe December 8, 2011 at 4:25 pm

We actually have had a ton of drug shortages lately, and I'm wondering what it's all about. Not just valium, but, like, a ton of chemotherapy agents, and, on a happier note, lethal injection drugs also too. Does anybody have more information as to what the fuck is going on with the pharmaceutical industry lately?

natoslug December 8, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Just a guess here, but perhaps our policy of corporate takeovers and firing everybody, then declaring bankruptcy rather than doing any manufacturing or reinvestment is turning out to be somewhat short-sighted.

Negligently_Joe December 8, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Nah. I just don't see any way that sort of economy would be destined for anything other than long-term, sustainable prosperity.

finallyhappy December 8, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Actually in terms of things like ADHD medication- they get in short supply towards the end of every year- I do not know why. However, what pisses me off is that my HRT has not been available for 6 months now and I have to take something else. Of course, in my case, it could be my crappy insurance.

Negligently_Joe December 8, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Well, there's been a series of general drug shortages over the past 3-4 months or so. In a few cases, like the death drugs, it was the one or two labs that supplied them stateside shutting down, and the european labs refusing to ship death drugs to America, because we all know what Americans are using them for.

The chemo drugs thing, though, was surprising and weird. A few of the drugs in shortage, like taxol, were derived from botanicals that had a narrow ecological range, and demand for which had resulted in them becoming threatened species. But a whole bunch also totally weren't; synthesis of Cisplatin, for example, is so simple it's pretty much a lab from an Inorganic Chemistry class. And there's been a bunch of other random other drugs, like Fentanyl, that have been in shortage, for vague or inscrutable reasons; it's hard not to notice the pattern.

chicken_thief December 8, 2011 at 4:47 pm

I read an article that addressed only one drug, but in that case, the patent was nearing expiration. The company was trying to move everyone to the new, more expensive version of that drug before the patients could start using generics. Therefore, the manufacturer simply stopped producing as much of the old drug, thereby causing a shortage, price spike, and having people unwittingly "settle" for their new drug.

Kind of a crafty move.

But even if 100% true, I doubt that that would apply to every drug on the market.

yyyaz December 8, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Oh, nothing that a $1 billion ad campaign to scare the oldz about the Muzlin Dictator-in-Chief's health-scare plan drying up supplies and driving up costs won't cure.

PalinzADummy December 8, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Interesting. Today, for the third time in about 30 days, my pharmacy told me that there would be a delay in filling my prescription (three completely unrelated prescriptions). I wonder how much it has to do with the JIT (Just In Time) delivery mode that was all the wah wah talk in management circles a couple of years ago.

bureaucrap December 8, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Zombie Spiro Agnew?

BaldarTFlagass December 8, 2011 at 4:21 pm

You'd think a guy that pulls in as much jack as he does could afford something better than a five-dollar umbrella that the mendicant-like Somalians sell on the street.

succalina December 12, 2011 at 11:20 am

Or maybe a car to pick him up right outside the event. What is he, part of the 99%?

Schmannnity December 8, 2011 at 4:21 pm

I guess the spin does not stop here when it comes to making a false police report of assault.

natoslug December 8, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Too bad nobody has any video to show him making a false police report. . .

johnnymeatworth December 8, 2011 at 4:23 pm

All of the above?

ProgressiveInga December 8, 2011 at 4:24 pm

And here I thought, "F*ck it, we'll do it live!" was brilliant. "Leave me alone right now!" is even better.
#heblowsalot

Tommmcattt December 8, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Such a big, strong brave man to sucker-punch somebody then run to the po-po to tell!

elviouslyqueer December 8, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Ma! The bad smelly protester asked me a question! I'M TELLING!

Callyson December 8, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Is Bill O’Reilly a) a touchy old jackal who attacked a Washington, DC protester and tried to have him arrested for asking O’Reilly a question on camera or b) too stupid to correctly operate an umbrella?
Once again…
All of 'em, Katie…

DaRooster December 8, 2011 at 4:25 pm

He could operate it better if it were a felafel…

Tundra Grifter December 8, 2011 at 4:25 pm

We have a new expression: Collapsed like a cheap umbrella.

You'd think a rich guy like Bull O'Really? could afford a decent bumbershoot. Did he buy that thing from a street hawker for five bucks?

yyyaz December 8, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Stole it from the office umbrella bin. After glancing over his shoulder furtively.

Tundra Grifter December 8, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Since he was coming from a hotel, he probably picked it up in the lobby.

Hey – it's black with a handle. Who's gonna tell him he grabbed the wrong one? "By mistake."

Goonemeritus December 8, 2011 at 4:26 pm

I finally got the video to work so what’s with the POS Totes umbrella. If you have all the money in the world and anticipate going full John Steed with your umbrella you need a Swaine Adeney & Brigg’s. With one of those you can beat down the 99% all day and still be protected from rain in the evening.

Callyson December 8, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Also, for those of you who know DC's architecture better than I do…was BillO passing the White House when the "Do Not Enter" sign appears (around 0:20)? If so, how perfect…

Tundra Grifter December 8, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Actually, the gentleman asking the question was quite respectful.

I would have gone with "Hey, Bill! Show us your falafel!"

LetUsBray December 9, 2011 at 12:01 am

"Hey, baby, put down that bumbershoot and get my bumbershoot up."

But I guess that's technically not a question.

Schmannnity December 8, 2011 at 4:32 pm

At least Papa Bill has some new video for his Pinheads and Patriots segment.

SayItWithWookies December 8, 2011 at 4:34 pm

So Bill thinks it's wrong to ask him questions on the street? Well well — look who thinks he's got special rights.

Mumbletypeg December 8, 2011 at 4:41 pm

thinks he's got special rights

As tedious pedants are wont to do~

finallyhappy December 8, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Couldn't get one but saw lots of orange Boner faces on buttons on the Mall- the button says " We'll give you something to cry about- The 99%"

PalinzADummy December 8, 2011 at 10:09 pm

You make me so very happy …

'Course, if you'd gotten a button, you'd'a made me a shitload happier, but hey.

RadioYKWE December 8, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Needs moar Baba O'Riley…
♪ ♫ It's an old fart wasteland ♪ ♫

weejee December 8, 2011 at 5:12 pm

F5 / C / Bb, rinse, repeat as needed

FlownOver December 8, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Cue the maniac behind the kit.

Even 23 years dead, Moon can outdrum the crap out of anybody.

Indiepalin December 8, 2011 at 4:50 pm

OK, so THIS is the clip from the new Three Stooges film that everybody has been talking about…

proudgrampa December 8, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Yup, he's a pompous asshole.

BarackMyWorld December 8, 2011 at 5:11 pm
lochnessmonster December 8, 2011 at 5:12 pm

If O'Rielly touched him, that's assault with a deadly weapon! I'd file a lawsuit….

Biel_ze_Bubba December 9, 2011 at 11:11 am

It's already assault… and battery if he made contact.
Pretty weak-ass weapon, though … Billo will never deliver a polonium 210 pill with that piece of crap.

actor212 December 8, 2011 at 5:12 pm

For some reason, when I heard about this, I thought of BillO crossdressing like the old lady from the Tweety cartoons, beating a ruffian over the head shouting "MASHER! MASHER!"

Biff December 10, 2011 at 8:53 pm
mavenmaven December 8, 2011 at 5:13 pm

All these rules only apply to force used against Democrats, "leftists", etc. They are not to be applied against the right, who are the "legitimate merkins" and thus above the law.

Blueb4sunrise December 8, 2011 at 5:32 pm

In his book on President Lincoln , Billo proves that if Abe had been able to deploy an umbrella at Ford's Theatre, he'd be alive today.

mookwrthwilson December 8, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Was his wife with him or with her boyfriend???

Rotundo_ December 8, 2011 at 5:33 pm

One of these days Billo is just going to stroke out. The old anger bear just heats up too damn fast. With any kind of luck it will be like something out of Westworld and live on FOX. "And these PINHEADS HERP DE DERP DE HARGLE" and flop on the floor drooling and stuff.

Geminisunmars December 8, 2011 at 5:42 pm

I'd Pay-per-view that, fer sures.

Dashboard Buddha December 8, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Doesn't that pretty much explain his show anyway?

Geminisunmars December 8, 2011 at 5:40 pm

"Occifer, Occifer! That mean question-asker over there assaulted my umbrella and broke it! And now I'm all wet! Arrest him!"

DahBoner December 8, 2011 at 5:56 pm

I suggest every protestor learn Karate and watch every fucking Billy Jack movie ever made….

Fawkdifiknow December 8, 2011 at 6:15 pm

That's his "Bildo."

johnnyzhivago December 8, 2011 at 6:20 pm

What a pussy!

chascates December 8, 2011 at 6:25 pm

So now he's like Ruth Buzzi in Laugh-in?

horsedreamer_1 December 8, 2011 at 7:21 pm

I would have made it rain pennies, out of an hot dog cannon, on Ol Bill.

Negropolis December 9, 2011 at 2:26 am

Is that code for something? lol

DerrickWildcat December 8, 2011 at 8:08 pm

well Bill has a totally different story.

ttommyunger December 8, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Sorry, Bill, you've given yourself away: men don't carry umbrellas and they certainly don't count on them as a weapon. What a big, dumb cunt!

DailyGrumbles December 8, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Jumping Jehoshaphat!! Lucky for that interviewer Blimey O'Rielly wasn't armed with mace…

DailyGrumbles December 8, 2011 at 9:55 pm

The ol' umbrella treatment eh.. And just for asking about Attending a Newt fundraiser? It's not like he was asking for a Loofah sponge or anything.

Negropolis December 9, 2011 at 1:56 am

You know what other comically evil character weaponized his umbrella?

Negropolis December 9, 2011 at 2:19 am

Bill O'Reilly: unfair and chemically unbalanced.

BTW, won't someone confront him about Andrea Mackris? Won't anyone confront him about Andrea Mackris? Won't someone think of the children?

gurukalehuru December 9, 2011 at 9:00 am

Musta been one o' them fancy loofah style umbrellas.

barto December 9, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Well ya know back when his unit was under fire they would often take cover under umbrellas, loufahs, old discarded copies of the Paris Business Review, whatever did the trick! All while returning fire,of course.

mrblifil December 11, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Nobody even had to say "Makris."

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