Newt Gingrich Needs Two Times As Many Bathrooms As Everyone Else

  toilet humor

Where else did you think he writes his books?

Here is some particularly gross gossip unearthed by the Smoking Gun that somehow met the “news” qualification at the Washington Post: according to this rider from a 2010 speaking engagement in Missouri, Newt Gingrich’s lengthy demands include two bathrooms in his hotel room, because he is just that full of shit. But all things considered, this is the least disgusting thing we have learned about Newt Gingrich so far in history. A quick six-second search is guaranteed to turn up something even worse… let’s see, oh here we go, apparently Newt Gingrich is breaking the law now by announcing he wants John Bolton to be his Secretary of State?

Here you were thinking this announcement was actually in violation of the laws of the United States for the reason that John Bolton’s murderous madman tendencies make him an actual crime against humanity, but no — it’s actually for the more obscure/mundane reason that you are not supposed to name cabinet members before winning the election.

From Political Wire:

Newt Gingrich promised he would ask former U.N. Ambassador John Bolton “to be his secretary of state if he’s elected president next year,” the Washington Times reports.

Unfortunately, naming individuals you would appoint to office before the election is apparently illegal. Here’s Title 18, Part I, Chapter 29, Section 599 of the U.S. Code:

“Whoever, being a candidate, directly or indirectly promises or pledges the appointment, or the use of his influence or support for the appointment of any person to any public or private position or employment, for the purpose of procuring support in his candidacy shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than one year, or both; and if the violation was willful, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.”

You would think someone like self-described world’s smartest human Newt Gingrich would know this? Oh well, careful, Newt! In jail, they make you share bathrooms, if you get one at all. [Smoking Gun/Political Wire]

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